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Abortion Boom and the Sandwich Generation · Mom Wars

0:01
Speaker 1: From the front lines of the mom Wars. Here's Bethany
0:04
Speaker 1: Mandel and Kara Kennedy.
0:08
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to your most unreliable but beloved podcast.
0:15
Speaker 2: I am your co host, Bethany Mandel. I am a
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Speaker 2: mom of six. We homeschool and I write frequently for
0:22
Speaker 2: places like The New York Post and The Washington Examiner.
0:25
Speaker 2: And I am joined by my beautiful and increasingly what's
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Speaker 2: the word I'm looking for.
0:34
Speaker 1: Fat out facts pragnant co host Calara Kennedy. And I
0:45
Speaker 1: am thirty four weeks pregnant and I don't know how
0:50
Speaker 1: I can do six more weeks. So that's where I'm
0:52
Speaker 1: at right now. Nobody should have get pregnant.
0:57
Speaker 2: So I remember I had I had, I guess like
1:00
Speaker 2: two babies in the wintertime. And first of all, it's
1:03
Speaker 2: like outdoor air conditioning. But I was very nervous walking
1:09
Speaker 2: on ice. Are you feeling scared about walking?
1:12
Speaker 1: I have not left that. I was trying to think
1:14
Speaker 1: when the last time I left the house was, and
1:16
Speaker 1: it was a good few days ago. Me too, And
1:19
Speaker 1: right now we have like two feet of snow, so
1:22
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna leave. Well, I actually need to leave
1:24
Speaker 1: the house to Laura before it goes to it crazy,
1:27
Speaker 1: but I have not run into that yet. Yeah, but
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Speaker 1: I generally like overall, think the pregnancy in the winter
1:39
Speaker 1: is nice, Like the trimester in the winter is nice.
1:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I had one baby in October and
1:46
Speaker 2: one baby in December, and minus the fear of the ice,
1:50
Speaker 2: I thought it was fantastic. I had multiple babies in
1:52
Speaker 2: the summer. Zero stars do not recommend that.
1:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that too, because in the summer with
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Speaker 1: my face baby, I kind of felt like I was
2:00
Speaker 1: missing out on it all because I was so pregnant
2:03
Speaker 1: and it was just so hot and at this time
2:07
Speaker 1: we kind of hunkering down, nobody's really doing anything. We
2:10
Speaker 1: having taked chocolate by the fire, you know. I think
2:13
Speaker 1: it's I think it's a.
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Speaker 2: Hack, so cozy. So the other thing that I will
2:18
Speaker 2: say that was negative about having a winter baby was
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Speaker 2: I didn't get any help because I was so afraid
2:25
Speaker 2: because it was like peak flu season and all of
2:28
Speaker 2: our friends had it that we I think I've told
2:31
Speaker 2: this story on the podcast before. My youngest baby is
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Speaker 2: seventeen months younger than his older brother and the kid
2:39
Speaker 2: above that. So I had three kids three and under
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Speaker 2: and the kid above that broke her arm the night
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Speaker 2: before I had him, and I couldn't there was no
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Speaker 2: one to call for help because it was the week
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Speaker 2: between Christmas and New Year's and everyone who was home
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Speaker 2: was home because they had the flu.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not good. That's very stressful.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, those are the two negative things. I will say.
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Speaker 1: I've been five for an RSV vaccine because uh RSV. Well,
3:04
Speaker 1: I guess we spoke about this a little bit last time,
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Speaker 1: but the RSB RSV season has extended this time, and
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Speaker 1: I'm kind of just on the cusp and I really
3:17
Speaker 1: want it.
3:18
Speaker 2: You do want it? Yeah, the vaccine? Yeah, yeah, I
3:22
Speaker 2: would too. Our RSV is really scary. We have friends
3:26
Speaker 2: Tim and Katie Carney, whose daughter spent like a week
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Speaker 2: in the hospital. I want to say with with RSV
3:32
Speaker 2: when she was a baby, and that was the first
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Speaker 2: time I'd ever heard of RSV. And then I spent
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Speaker 2: a whole day in the emergency room with my fourth
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Speaker 2: when she had RSV. It's scary. It's scary to see
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Speaker 2: your baby not being able to breathe.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I have a friend right now, the five week
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Speaker 1: old who just spent a week in the nake you
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Speaker 1: with RSV, so I am sufficiently freaked out that I've
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Speaker 1: been fighting in for a vaccine that I should try
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Speaker 1: and get this week.
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Speaker 2: I support you. What have you been writing these days,
4:07
Speaker 2: Because you've been writing incredible stuff.
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Speaker 1: I guess I've done. I did the British Baby Bust
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Speaker 1: piece and I'm currently writing about abortion because there has
4:19
Speaker 1: been a huge rise in abortion in Britain and by
4:23
Speaker 1: the time this podcast comes out, the piece will be
4:27
Speaker 1: out so I can talk about it. You know, one
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Speaker 1: in three pregnancies nearly one in three pregnancies now in
4:35
Speaker 1: Britain and an abortion.
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Speaker 2: It's wild. And you were telling me that a lot
4:39
Speaker 2: of people use it as birth control.
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Speaker 1: Yes, and that is is like one hundred percent Tree,
4:44
Speaker 1: I have now spoken to enough people that like that
4:47
Speaker 1: is legit. Why And it's interesting why because sorry, my
4:55
Speaker 1: breathing is like I'm OK.
5:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I had a podcast when I was pregnant,
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Speaker 2: I did the same thing.
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Speaker 1: I have to kind of lean forward. So the reason
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Speaker 1: why the abortion rate is so high in the UK
5:11
Speaker 1: right now is it's kind of funny, is that the
5:16
Speaker 1: NHS is so bad, the National Healthcare Service that is
5:20
Speaker 1: the envy of the world because it's free healthcare, and
5:23
Speaker 1: everybody wants free health care. Basically, the NHS is so
5:27
Speaker 1: bad and the abortion funding in the UK is so
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Speaker 1: good that it's easier to get an abortion than it
5:35
Speaker 1: is to get an appointment with your family doctor to
5:39
Speaker 1: count birth control.
5:41
Speaker 2: Wow yeah, wow wow wow wow. What's wild to me is.
5:49
Speaker 1: And you can also have abortions at home now in
5:51
Speaker 1: the UK, which is a big.
5:52
Speaker 2: Change, like chemical abortions, I mean, huh wow.
5:57
Speaker 1: During COVID it was implemented pilled by post scheme, so
6:02
Speaker 1: you could just get abortion pills in the post, have
6:04
Speaker 1: to like a consultation with a dolt like online. You
6:09
Speaker 1: don't have to go in face to face or anything.
6:11
Speaker 1: So like all of the shame attent to go into
6:13
Speaker 1: an abortion clinic face to face and like walking in
6:17
Speaker 1: and talling them. You know, it's just gone. So you
6:20
Speaker 1: can just do it at home.
6:21
Speaker 2: That is outside of you know, pro life, pro choice,
6:25
Speaker 2: all of those arguments. That is such a wild abdication
6:29
Speaker 2: of NHS's responsibility to women's healthcare because flooding their body
6:35
Speaker 2: with chemicals to induce an abortion is literally toxic. That's
6:40
Speaker 2: how you're inducing the abortion, is that you are toxicifying
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Speaker 2: that woman's body enough that the baby comes out.
6:49
Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting that this never comes up in abution talk.
6:52
Speaker 1: It's not always about like the moral case and the
6:56
Speaker 1: moral argument, all the excessive billits see argument, and it's
7:01
Speaker 1: never about like what is the actual ramifications on women's bodies,
7:06
Speaker 1: and particularly if you are going to use abortion as
7:11
Speaker 1: a like as a repeated thing. So if yeah, I
7:14
Speaker 1: spoke to women who had had two, three, four abortions,
7:18
Speaker 1: and like, what is the because there's no data on this, you.
7:22
Speaker 2: Know, right, why would they collect such things? O? No,
7:27
Speaker 2: I mean that that really kills me about this, this conversation,
7:32
Speaker 2: because these folks claim to, you know, have the mantle
7:35
Speaker 2: of women's health, but they absolutely do not care one
7:40
Speaker 2: iota about women's health when it comes down to it,
7:42
Speaker 2: because this is really unhealthy and you know, physical abortions
7:47
Speaker 2: where you know, you go in and they dialate your service,
7:49
Speaker 2: all of those things that destroys your cervix. One of
7:53
Speaker 2: the things that's always bothered me when you go to
7:56
Speaker 2: you know, the doctor for cancer scans, it says on
7:59
Speaker 2: the asks you on the form, how many abortions have
8:02
Speaker 2: you had?
8:03
Speaker 1: That's really interesting and.
8:04
Speaker 2: It's because it raises your cancer risk. But they don't
8:09
Speaker 2: they don't explicitly explain that to you. And I've asked once,
8:12
Speaker 2: playing dumb, like why do you have that as a question,
8:14
Speaker 2: like well, I just well, I just want to know
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Speaker 2: your background, and I wanted to and I didn't say
8:20
Speaker 2: it because they didn't want to fight with a healthcare provider,
8:22
Speaker 2: and like, you know, lay out my cards that I
8:23
Speaker 2: was pro life and whatever. But it increases your cancer risk,
8:28
Speaker 2: and I'm sure chemical abortions do as well, because this
8:31
Speaker 2: wild fluctuation in your hormones, it has to increase your
8:36
Speaker 2: cancer risk.
8:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so the woman who I had spoken to
8:40
Speaker 1: who had had multiple abortions, it was interest in that
8:44
Speaker 1: basically every single abortion is treated as a like a
8:49
Speaker 1: one time effect. Like they would not asked about whether
8:53
Speaker 1: they had had an abortion before. Why are they had
8:57
Speaker 1: in multiple abortions? Are they on birth control? Are they
9:00
Speaker 1: taking other precautions to not get pregnant? None of those
9:05
Speaker 1: questions came up.
9:06
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, So there's no kind of counseling of like
9:09
Speaker 2: this is how you can avoid this, because there's no
9:12
Speaker 2: appreciation or I'm not understanding because they are the providers
9:16
Speaker 2: absolutely understand it, but they don't want to acknowledge to
9:19
Speaker 2: women that this is not ideal, This is not great
9:21
Speaker 2: for you physically.
9:23
Speaker 1: And it's not like the British day is like explicitly
9:26
Speaker 1: talented people, Oh you can just like have an When
9:30
Speaker 1: you make it way more accessible than plan BE or contraception,
9:35
Speaker 1: you're basically ushering women into into doing that.
9:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, absolutely, but also the psychological effects, like a
9:45
Speaker 3: lot of women I spoke to, in fact, I think
9:49
Speaker 3: every single woman I spoke too said but oh it
9:52
Speaker 3: was way worse, and I thought it was gonna be
9:54
Speaker 3: and way worse than I was.
9:56
Speaker 1: I was led to believe because I think a lot
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Speaker 1: of the conversation around abortion is but it's very kind
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Speaker 1: of fake. It's like, oh, this is like a great thing.
10:06
Speaker 1: You should be able to access this like like your body,
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Speaker 1: your choice, whatever, and nobody is like ringing the alarm
10:14
Speaker 1: bell being like, oh you might think about this, but
10:16
Speaker 1: like a long time, this might be really hard.
10:18
Speaker 2: Can I ask maybe a graphic question that just trigger
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Speaker 2: warning for it. I mean, I'm not even going to
10:25
Speaker 2: a joke. Actually, I'm going to say trigger warning for
10:27
Speaker 2: anyone who has experienced this, whether it being a character
10:30
Speaker 2: an abortion, but did any of the women talk about
10:33
Speaker 2: like what they witnessed coming out of their body?
10:36
Speaker 1: Yep. So one of the women I spoke to, who
10:40
Speaker 1: had had three abortions, was telling me about how she
10:46
Speaker 1: liked there, so she was very frank. I didn't name
10:48
Speaker 1: her in the PSAs did pseudonym, so I think she
10:51
Speaker 1: felt more kind of free to speak, but she was
10:55
Speaker 1: very franking about it. She was like, I like the
10:57
Speaker 1: fact that you can have at home abortion because I
11:00
Speaker 1: feel less judged and I feel like it's easy to
11:03
Speaker 1: kind of get a hot water bowl and watch Netflix,
11:06
Speaker 1: you know. But also it comes with the fact that
11:08
Speaker 1: I'm not like a trained medical licensed person, and I'm
11:13
Speaker 1: basically conduct in an abortion on myself at home, and
11:17
Speaker 1: I don't really know like how to do it. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: And she was talking about how the first at her
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Speaker 1: abortion she had and having to like run to the
11:28
Speaker 1: toilet because she didn't realize how quickly it was gonna
11:31
Speaker 1: She said, like basically as soon as the pill hit
11:34
Speaker 1: her stomach, she felt this like deep, deep cramp inside
11:38
Speaker 1: and then she had to like run, Whereas in the
11:41
Speaker 1: hospital you kind of sat on a bed pen and
11:46
Speaker 1: it's emptied for you and you know, yikes. Yeah, it's
11:51
Speaker 1: been a cheerful week.
11:52
Speaker 2: Yeah. I hadn't scared a long time ago, and the
11:56
Speaker 2: level of pain was something that really surprised me. And
12:00
Speaker 2: when I thought about it, I felt dumb, because, yeah,
12:03
Speaker 2: it makes sense. Your body is laboring, it's contracting, your
12:07
Speaker 2: cervix is opening, and you're passing tissue. Of course that's
12:12
Speaker 2: going to hurt, but I was very surprised at how
12:16
Speaker 2: much it hurt. It felt very similar to childbirth.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that that I've never had a
12:23
Speaker 1: miscarriage one evulsion, but from the amount of women that
12:27
Speaker 1: I spoke to this week, that seems to be the case,
12:30
Speaker 1: whether it's six weeks or sixteen weeks or twenty six weeks.
12:34
Speaker 2: I mean, I've never I've had like, you know, an
12:37
Speaker 2: early miscarriage and full term babies. I've never had anything
12:41
Speaker 2: in between. But I would compare the miscarriage at like
12:46
Speaker 2: seven eight weeks to early labor, to the contractions of
12:52
Speaker 2: early labor.
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Speaker 1: And I think that that is the one thing that
12:57
Speaker 1: is so kind of dangerous about the post pro choice
13:03
Speaker 1: train of thought is that you're not preparing these women
13:08
Speaker 1: for what they're going to go through. You're just talking
13:11
Speaker 1: about it like celebrationy, you know.
13:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you consider yourself for life?
13:17
Speaker 1: No? Not really, Like I don't think I would ever
13:23
Speaker 1: have an abortion. I've never it's never come up. I've
13:25
Speaker 1: never like faced the choice, you know. Particularly, I was
13:30
Speaker 1: a lot more pro choice before having a baby too,
13:34
Speaker 1: and before going through a pregnancy. I remember because in
13:38
Speaker 1: Britain it's twenty four weeks, which to me is so crazy,
13:42
Speaker 1: and I remember like feeling my baby kicking in twenty
13:45
Speaker 1: four weeks. I'm like, no, this is obviously murdered.
13:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, But generally, I would.
13:53
Speaker 1: Say overall and pretty like, I don't really care what
13:56
Speaker 1: other people do, but I do think that late abortions,
14:01
Speaker 1: like anything probably after I don't know, maybe sixteen weeks,
14:05
Speaker 1: just feels like it shouldn't be legal. You know.
14:10
Speaker 2: Did your reporting on any of this stuff to change
14:14
Speaker 2: you at all in your perceptions of abortion and legality
14:17
Speaker 2: and all those sorts of sticky things.
14:20
Speaker 1: I mean not really, because I tried to just like
14:22
Speaker 1: keep myself outsh of the piece as much as possible,
14:26
Speaker 1: Like you can't really tell my opinions on it on
14:30
Speaker 1: abortion either way in the piece. But I would say
14:34
Speaker 1: I would say less this piece and more just like
14:37
Speaker 1: being pregnant right now and having a baby has changed
14:42
Speaker 1: my feelings on abortion a lot, but still like I'm
14:45
Speaker 1: not going to be marching in the streets, you know, yeah,
14:48
Speaker 1: what about you?
14:50
Speaker 2: So I have marched in the streets. I've gone to
14:53
Speaker 2: the March for Life a few times. But it was funny.
14:58
Speaker 2: I was actually talking to the pres of the March
15:00
Speaker 2: for Life recently, like last week, and I was saying
15:05
Speaker 2: to her, like, I don't think I would be considered
15:07
Speaker 2: pro life by the standards of most pro life people.
15:10
Speaker 2: I kind of view I view it through the lens
15:13
Speaker 2: of like what is legal according to Jewish law, and
15:17
Speaker 2: it's like, if the woman's life is in danger, then
15:22
Speaker 2: then I think it's acceptable. And I think that that
15:26
Speaker 2: definition of life is in danger is broader than maybe
15:31
Speaker 2: many people who consider themselves pro life. I think, obviously,
15:36
Speaker 2: if your life is physically if you're twelve weeks pregnant
15:40
Speaker 2: and you get a cancer diagnosis, like you do what
15:44
Speaker 2: you have to do. But also, you know, if you're
15:47
Speaker 2: an abusive relationship and you know, having a baby with
15:51
Speaker 2: someone who might murder you, I think your life is
15:55
Speaker 2: in danger. Yeah, but I think, you know, according to
15:59
Speaker 2: this definition of getting permission and whatever, it would still
16:03
Speaker 2: eliminate ninety nine percent of abortions because most of them
16:07
Speaker 2: are what you're describing. It's like, you know, oops, I
16:10
Speaker 2: made a mistake and this is not convenient for me
16:12
Speaker 2: at this time. A lot of married women have abortions,
16:14
Speaker 2: which is wild to me. Yeah, I'm uncomfortable with that.
16:20
Speaker 2: Our sixth I've talked about pretty openly was an accident
16:24
Speaker 2: and unintended and never would have crossed my mind to
16:27
Speaker 2: end that pregnancy. I think the only circumstance that I
16:31
Speaker 2: would get an abortion is if if I knew that
16:35
Speaker 2: the baby was going to have severe desformity or pain,
16:41
Speaker 2: a genetic disease like tasas for example, I would without question,
16:46
Speaker 2: because would I feel like I'd be saving that child
16:49
Speaker 2: a life of pain? That's probably you know, the life
16:52
Speaker 2: is pretty short and the pain is really profound. I've
16:55
Speaker 2: always been puzzled by like really really hardcore pro lifers
16:59
Speaker 2: in insistence on talking about that point zero zero one
17:03
Speaker 2: percent of pregnancies, you know, emphasizing women who like they
17:07
Speaker 2: found out the baby had that was incompatible with life,
17:10
Speaker 2: and they carried the baby to term. Anyway, I'm like, why, why,
17:14
Speaker 2: why is that your hill that you're dying on.
17:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems that you said yourself up like yeah, Also,
17:19
Speaker 1: pregnancy is really hard. Why red you want a pregnancy.
17:23
Speaker 2: And give birth to a stillborn baby? I just think
17:28
Speaker 2: I think women who'd make that choice are incredible. But
17:30
Speaker 2: from a messaging perspective, I've never understood why the pro
17:34
Speaker 2: life world hangs its hat on extreme outliers like that,
17:40
Speaker 2: where most of Americans, myself included, are like, that's where
17:44
Speaker 2: I step off. Yep, that that's too much for me.
17:48
Speaker 2: I think your piece is actually really powerful because it
17:51
Speaker 2: speaks to the vast majority of abortions that should be avoided,
17:55
Speaker 2: like this is the lowest hanging fruit imaginable. And there
17:58
Speaker 2: is the possibility of, you know, some synergy between pro
18:03
Speaker 2: life and pro choice because it's about women's health to
18:06
Speaker 2: us as much as it is saving babies.
18:09
Speaker 1: So what was interesting about the pieces Two things. What
18:12
Speaker 1: was interesting about the piece is that every single person
18:16
Speaker 1: that I spoke to about abortion, basically this jump in
18:20
Speaker 1: abortion numbers in the UK is being explained by kids
18:25
Speaker 1: being so expensive and there'd been a cost of living
18:28
Speaker 1: crisis in Britain and the price of groceries and the
18:32
Speaker 1: price of houses and whatever, whatever, whatever. Not a single
18:35
Speaker 1: woman who I spoke to had an abortion because of
18:38
Speaker 1: financial strain. Every single one was more of like an
18:44
Speaker 1: internal kind of crisis of confidence. I explained it as
18:50
Speaker 1: the piece about how they don't believe that they could
18:53
Speaker 1: be good mothers, They don't feel ready, they don't feel
18:55
Speaker 1: like their relationship could survive something like that, And how
19:01
Speaker 1: it is is it's like solely a cultural issue, not
19:05
Speaker 1: a financial one.
19:06
Speaker 2: Someone should start a whole sub stack and podcast called
19:09
Speaker 2: the mom Wars where they dedicate themselves to giving women confidence.
19:14
Speaker 1: Although I still did this podcast by saying, nobody get pregnant.
19:19
Speaker 2: We're in a dark place.
19:21
Speaker 1: It's not fun.
19:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're in a dark place. I support I support you,
19:26
Speaker 2: I too, do not recommend pregnancy at thirty four weeks. Yeah, no,
19:30
Speaker 2: I mean this, This is so much of what we
19:33
Speaker 2: I think I could say, like we both talk about
19:35
Speaker 2: a lot this, this way that we've framed motherhood in
19:39
Speaker 2: our society that makes it seem so unachievable and so
19:43
Speaker 2: impossibly difficult, and it's just not. One of my children
19:47
Speaker 2: today admitted that they hadn't changed their underwear and over
19:50
Speaker 2: a week, and I just think we should, like, as
19:55
Speaker 2: that was a boy, I'm not going to disclose, and
19:58
Speaker 2: I want to. I want to save that individuals privacy
20:02
Speaker 2: because there's a one in six chance. Now. I think
20:06
Speaker 2: they have enough anonymity that I can make that. But
20:10
Speaker 2: I think we need more of this. I think we
20:11
Speaker 2: need more of this, like imperfect portrayal of motherhood that like, yeah,
20:16
Speaker 2: sometimes you forget that your child hasn't you know, bathed
20:20
Speaker 2: or changed their underwear in a week, And that's okay,
20:22
Speaker 2: it's not great, but.
20:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's it's worse than that though, Like
20:27
Speaker 1: why does everybody hate themselves so much? When I was
20:30
Speaker 1: speaking to these women, I was just like so sad,
20:33
Speaker 1: and I was like, am I crazy? Because I think
20:36
Speaker 1: I'm fine. I think I'm a good person. I forgive
20:40
Speaker 1: myself easily. I don't they get caught up on the
20:44
Speaker 1: small things, you know? And why does everybody just hate
20:47
Speaker 1: themselves so much? Everybody thinks that they're gonna irrapariably screw
20:52
Speaker 1: up the lives that they bring into this world. And
20:54
Speaker 1: that is just such an ungenerous view to have of yourself.
20:58
Speaker 2: You know, I have the end for you, and so
21:01
Speaker 2: much of it is because you and I had traumatic childhoods.
21:05
Speaker 2: So there's only one way, and it's up. Yeah, you
21:10
Speaker 2: and I are in happy, committed marriages and our children
21:13
Speaker 2: being raised by two loving parents already, they have a
21:17
Speaker 2: leg up on us as children. And by the way,
21:19
Speaker 2: we turned out fine and our mothers did great, so whatever.
21:23
Speaker 2: But I think that evolutionarily women have protected the species
21:32
Speaker 2: right always being on alert and in you know, the
21:38
Speaker 2: entirety of human history, we've had a lot of trauma
21:41
Speaker 2: to combat and deal with and you know, function alongside.
21:47
Speaker 2: And now there isn't really much trauma, and so women
21:51
Speaker 2: are having this like allergy response, you know, just the
21:55
Speaker 2: whole idea of like, you know, our sanitized world increased
21:58
Speaker 2: allergies because you're your body is on the offense all
22:02
Speaker 2: the time against allergens instead of actual pathogens. It's the
22:07
Speaker 2: same mentally, women's brains are wired to always be alert
22:15
Speaker 2: and upset and ready to confront anything. And there's nothing,
22:20
Speaker 2: and so I think women's brains are going haywire. I
22:23
Speaker 2: can see it right now with their response to Minnesota,
22:25
Speaker 2: like they're just losing their minds.
22:28
Speaker 3: Yeah.
22:28
Speaker 1: I saw a tweet the other day that was like
22:32
Speaker 1: it went super viral because it was like, oh, if
22:37
Speaker 1: if babies didn't stuck sometimes, it would be more babies
22:39
Speaker 1: in the world. I was just like, it has never
22:42
Speaker 1: been easier to raise a baby like that short first
22:47
Speaker 1: twelve weeks. You have Amazon Prime, you have groceries delivered
22:53
Speaker 1: to your door, you have a condition, you have doors,
22:57
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, exactly, you know why is somebody.
23:02
Speaker 2: I read a book. I read a book a very
23:05
Speaker 2: long time ago that was fascinating and short, and I
23:09
Speaker 2: don't remember the name. I'm gonna I'm gonna put it
23:12
Speaker 2: in the we'll put it in the show notes when
23:14
Speaker 2: I do remember. But it's basically a history of child
23:17
Speaker 2: rearing through human history. And the one of the most
23:22
Speaker 2: shocking statistics to me was a medieval Europe how many
23:27
Speaker 2: babies died by accidentally being dropped or falling into an
23:31
Speaker 2: open furnit like an into an open perth, because they
23:37
Speaker 2: would be they would be put on the wall kind
23:39
Speaker 2: of nearish to it to keep warm, and the like,
23:43
Speaker 2: you know, it would just fall.
23:46
Speaker 1: And then.
23:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, and this is you know, hearkening back to like,
23:52
Speaker 2: you know, women used to have real trauma, like women
23:54
Speaker 2: used to have real trauma, you actentally drop your baby
23:59
Speaker 2: into the hearth.
24:00
Speaker 1: I spoke to a couple older women who were pro choice,
24:07
Speaker 1: but we're also kind of internally struggling with how kind
24:12
Speaker 1: of pasatic and do Monger and the younger generations are.
24:19
Speaker 1: And yeah, they were like, we didn't have baby aditses.
24:22
Speaker 1: We had to just run in their room at the morning.
24:25
Speaker 1: They were still alive, fluid kind of lying. And you
24:29
Speaker 1: think about that, like even baby monitors, well like twenty
24:32
Speaker 1: years old.
24:33
Speaker 2: If yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's also like you, I mean,
24:37
Speaker 2: this is silly, but a little bit not like I'm
24:42
Speaker 2: thirty nine. Ultrasound technology was really in its infancy when
24:47
Speaker 2: my mom was pregnant. You didn't get a lot of information.
24:50
Speaker 2: And so to me going to going to the doctor
24:54
Speaker 2: throughout my pregnancies and being able to get a heartbeat
24:57
Speaker 2: check to see him or her if I want to know,
25:01
Speaker 2: to have that twenty week culture sound and see a
25:03
Speaker 2: spine and kidneys and a heart and all of these things,
25:08
Speaker 2: and I knew with reasonable certainty that I was giving
25:11
Speaker 2: birth to a healthy baby. They didn't have that certainty
25:14
Speaker 2: fifty years ago. Yeah, really terrifying there, You're absolutely correct
25:22
Speaker 2: that there has never been an easier time to be
25:24
Speaker 2: alive but also to have a baby.
25:27
Speaker 1: And I think that that struggle that we don't have
25:31
Speaker 1: anymore has to be childed the Sunday. So it's like
25:34
Speaker 1: extreme neuroticism.
25:36
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, no, And the neuroticism is driving women out
25:42
Speaker 2: of their minds. And that's so much of I think.
25:46
Speaker 2: You know, we we have the healthy perspective of having
25:50
Speaker 2: had imperfect childhoods, and so it gives you perspective, It
25:54
Speaker 2: gives you, it lends resilience, and a lot of women
25:57
Speaker 2: don't have that. And so like I think about, you know,
26:01
Speaker 2: the complaints that my kids have, and I'm like I
26:03
Speaker 2: once lived in an apartment where my mom couldn't pay
26:06
Speaker 2: the rent and so our landlord turned off the hot
26:09
Speaker 2: water and my mom had to put me into the
26:10
Speaker 2: bathtub and like slow boil a little bit of water
26:15
Speaker 2: to make it warm and then pour it into the bathtub.
26:17
Speaker 2: And that's how she bathed me. And she had to
26:20
Speaker 2: like do this thing where like the first couple pots
26:23
Speaker 2: that she did were at a full boil and then
26:26
Speaker 2: she'd start doing like lukewarm water and then she'd put
26:29
Speaker 2: me in so that I was in like a semi
26:31
Speaker 2: filled bath and like when that's that's like normal at seven,
26:37
Speaker 2: what my kids are doing now?
26:39
Speaker 1: I'm like, guys, you're fine. And then you see the
26:41
Speaker 1: posts of like New York dinks, who like, hey, we
26:46
Speaker 1: in like combined, we in eight hundred thousand a year.
26:50
Speaker 1: We feel like we can't afford a childs what should
26:52
Speaker 1: we do it?
26:52
Speaker 2: When?
26:53
Speaker 1: Like kill yourselves at this point, just like die. Nothing
26:57
Speaker 1: can be done for you.
26:58
Speaker 2: These people want absolute perfection out of everything. They want
27:03
Speaker 2: everything to be easy and handed to them, and when
27:06
Speaker 2: it doesn't, it is indicative of a societal failure and
27:12
Speaker 2: a societal betrayal. Like I can't believe in America that
27:17
Speaker 2: I don't have X y Z And I'm like, maybe
27:22
Speaker 2: maybe you should just go touch grass.
27:24
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Overall, this piece didn't really change my mind
27:28
Speaker 1: on that anything, because I already knew that we were doomed.
27:39
Speaker 3: Hi, this is a young Culter.
27:40
Speaker 1: Welcomed to my Ricochet podcast and Coulter every week on
27:45
Speaker 1: Ricochet You're home to Center Right conversation.
27:47
Speaker 2: Hey, that was pretty good, And speaking of doom, I
27:59
Speaker 2: want to go back to your first column that you
28:01
Speaker 2: mentioned that you wrote recently on the birth collapse is there.
28:06
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously it's linked, right, Yeah, so.
28:08
Speaker 1: That's also in Britain. And the abortion piece actually came
28:13
Speaker 1: off the back of reporting that because I was like, oh,
28:16
Speaker 1: it seems like there's more to this, you know, because
28:20
Speaker 1: when I posted about the baby bust in Britain, a
28:23
Speaker 1: lot of women reached out to me and said like, oh,
28:27
Speaker 1: it's so funny. Did you're writing about this because I
28:31
Speaker 1: just had an abortion twenty eight in a long term
28:35
Speaker 1: relationship or I just had an abortion at thirty two in
28:38
Speaker 1: a long term relationship because I don't feel ready and
28:40
Speaker 1: maybe on them feel ready. And I was like, oh,
28:43
Speaker 1: this is a huge aspect of this that I missed out,
28:46
Speaker 1: so I wanted to do a separate piece. But yeah,
28:49
Speaker 1: the birth rate in Britain right now is well below replacement,
28:55
Speaker 1: and birth rates in the whole of the West of
28:59
Speaker 1: below placement, but Britain is particularly.
29:01
Speaker 2: Low, especially when you factor out immigration immigrant births and
29:05
Speaker 2: you just look at native born Brits.
29:09
Speaker 1: Brits are screwed without immigration right now, like it. This
29:16
Speaker 1: year is projected to be the first year the deaths
29:19
Speaker 1: actually overtake births in Britain.
29:22
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Yeah, that is dystopian.
29:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you look at the government and there's there's
29:30
Speaker 1: nothing put in place for this, you know, it's it's
29:32
Speaker 1: terrifying what a government kind of succumbs to its own future,
29:40
Speaker 1: like places like career and other places where the birth
29:44
Speaker 1: rate is so low that they have to put in
29:48
Speaker 1: put some stuff into place to try and deal with it.
29:51
Speaker 1: But also like you have to kind of.
29:54
Speaker 2: Are you talking about like robots working in nursing.
29:56
Speaker 1: Homes, But there's there's other stuff. It's not that crazy,
30:01
Speaker 1: but like working out how are you going to pay
30:04
Speaker 1: the stuff?
30:05
Speaker 2: Yeah?
30:06
Speaker 1: Working out how are you going to going to get
30:08
Speaker 1: people to care for the old? Yeah, because those people
30:12
Speaker 1: are not going to have grandchildren who usually would do
30:15
Speaker 1: the care taking or or kids. I mean, there's a
30:18
Speaker 1: difference between the total fertility rate and the like I
30:21
Speaker 1: can't write what it's called, but it's basically like the
30:25
Speaker 1: realized fertility right, because you don't know until these women
30:29
Speaker 1: have passed childbare and aim to how many children that
30:32
Speaker 1: they'll have. But like, realistically, if you're starting at thirty
30:37
Speaker 1: eight or forty, you're probably not going to get to
30:41
Speaker 1: as many kids as you would if you started a
30:43
Speaker 1: decade earlier.
30:44
Speaker 2: Right, of course, Yeah, that makes sense. I was talking
30:46
Speaker 2: about this, So I want to give a psa Katherine Paclouk,
30:49
Speaker 2: who wrote Hannah's Children. A lot of people are huge
30:52
Speaker 2: fans of that book, and if you're not and you're
30:54
Speaker 2: interested in big family life, I really highly recommended a
30:57
Speaker 2: review it for The Washington Examiner a long time ago.
31:00
Speaker 2: But I was just the second guest on her podcast ever.
31:05
Speaker 2: She just launched this podcast. We had like an hour
31:09
Speaker 2: and change conversation that was very good and I think
31:10
Speaker 2: people should go listen to it. In the course of
31:13
Speaker 2: our conversation, we are talking about my husband's parents, my
31:17
Speaker 2: in laws, and my parents have been dead over twenty years.
31:20
Speaker 2: So I don't have any and I will never have
31:22
Speaker 2: any experience, you know, dealing with elder care as an adult.
31:27
Speaker 2: But I'm watching my husband and his sisters and one
31:31
Speaker 2: thing that I've watched with interest, and it feels like
31:35
Speaker 2: a little bit of like a sociologist is, even if
31:38
Speaker 2: you have the resources to get whatever you need to get,
31:42
Speaker 2: you know, help and whatever capacity, there's a lot of
31:45
Speaker 2: mental load involved in growing old. And my sister in
31:51
Speaker 2: laws have taken on a lot of it. They've helped
31:54
Speaker 2: my in laws in so many ways, big and small,
31:57
Speaker 2: and they've assumed a lot of responsibility and I think
32:01
Speaker 2: that's incredible and they're really nice to do that. We live,
32:04
Speaker 2: you know, two hundred and fifty miles away, and they
32:06
Speaker 2: live literally next door and around the corner, so they're
32:08
Speaker 2: much more able to do that. But I've been surprised
32:12
Speaker 2: watching you know, Seth and lots of friends dealing with
32:18
Speaker 2: aging parents, and there's a lot there that even the
32:23
Speaker 2: most perfectly resourced people who can hire anyone or anything
32:28
Speaker 2: or you know whatever, like, there's still a lot of
32:32
Speaker 2: there's a lot of life admin that has to be
32:34
Speaker 2: done when you get older and you have more appointments
32:37
Speaker 2: and you have more limitations and all of those things.
32:40
Speaker 2: And I think it's I think it's a lot. It's
32:44
Speaker 2: very similar to having a little baby in many ways.
32:47
Speaker 2: Like I've I've been surprised at how much time having
32:51
Speaker 2: children takes on a bureaucratic level, The amount of time
32:55
Speaker 2: that I spend filling out forms and calling the n
32:59
Speaker 2: T and the dermatologist and this and then that. It
33:03
Speaker 2: especially with eight people in my house and dentists and orthodontists,
33:08
Speaker 2: like it feels crushing sometimes, and I really feel for
33:11
Speaker 2: people who are dealing with it. On either end, they're
33:14
Speaker 2: dealing with kids who are you know, go to the
33:17
Speaker 2: doctor and then are going to apply to college and
33:20
Speaker 2: all of that life admin that happens there. And then
33:22
Speaker 2: on the other end, they're being squeezed by dealing with
33:25
Speaker 2: the life admin of growing aging parents. And I that's
33:29
Speaker 2: that's like one of those things that I don't know,
33:31
Speaker 2: maybe it's a modern problem. I guess it has to be, right,
33:33
Speaker 2: like dealing with the life admin.
33:35
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about this because I have a very
33:39
Speaker 1: young family. My mom had me at twenty Yeah, I
33:43
Speaker 1: had my baby at twenty five, So my mom just
33:46
Speaker 1: turned forty eight. Happy birthday, dah.
33:50
Speaker 2: Baby.
33:54
Speaker 1: I know, I know. Yeah, so my mother just turned
33:57
Speaker 1: forty eight. But my husband's parents who are a lot older,
34:00
Speaker 1: his dad is seventy seven, and just like my friend's
34:06
Speaker 1: parents are older, my grandparents are getting older. And if
34:12
Speaker 1: I was responsible for like end of life care as
34:17
Speaker 1: a parent at the same time as having which a
34:20
Speaker 1: lot of people find themselves in those situation now, particularly
34:22
Speaker 1: if they've had babies later.
34:25
Speaker 2: And their parents also, yeah, it just seems impossible. Yeah,
34:29
Speaker 2: and this is something that I think not enough people
34:31
Speaker 2: are aware of when they have babies later and perhaps
34:35
Speaker 2: their parents did as well, that you're going to be
34:37
Speaker 2: dealing you're going to be squeezed on either end. And
34:40
Speaker 2: I think I think there's actually a name. I think
34:41
Speaker 2: it's called the sandwich generation, where you're like dealing with
34:45
Speaker 2: babies and death at the same time.
34:47
Speaker 1: It's really interesting.
34:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's it's there's becoming more. I mean, it
34:51
Speaker 2: makes sense, there's there's become it's becoming more and more
34:54
Speaker 2: common to be sandwiched like this. But I mean, I'm
34:57
Speaker 2: looking at my older sister in law. It's fine, she's
35:00
Speaker 2: actually only two years older than Seth, but she was,
35:03
Speaker 2: you know, she had her babies much earlier, and so
35:06
Speaker 2: she has a kid in college, actually two kids in college,
35:09
Speaker 2: and one kid in the middle of high school, and
35:11
Speaker 2: so she's dealing with all of that of older kids.
35:16
Speaker 2: And I think, I think there's a lot more. I mean,
35:18
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't have kids that age yet,
35:20
Speaker 2: but it seems like that's a lot more work in
35:21
Speaker 2: a lot of ways. Yeah. They always they always say
35:24
Speaker 2: like little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems, And
35:26
Speaker 2: I think it's true.
35:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's interesting.
35:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she's you know, she's dealing with that and
35:32
Speaker 2: and you know, helping her parents, you know, however they
35:35
Speaker 2: might need. And golly, it seems I mean just on
35:39
Speaker 2: the doctor front, I feel like I would I would
35:42
Speaker 2: be drowning.
35:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, particularly because I forgot how much like it kind
35:48
Speaker 1: of paperwork and appointments comes with like late pregnancy, Like
35:54
Speaker 1: there's a trimester. I'm just I'm going to like four
35:56
Speaker 1: different apartments a week.
35:58
Speaker 2: It was funny when I had when I had a
36:00
Speaker 2: full time job. Yeah, when I had my most two
36:04
Speaker 2: recent babies, so I had my last I had all
36:07
Speaker 2: of my children with midwives, but my last three were
36:10
Speaker 2: home births, and my last two babies were with a
36:14
Speaker 2: midwife that I knew pretty well from my fourth pregnancy,
36:17
Speaker 2: and she complained both of my two most recent pregnancies.
36:20
Speaker 2: She's like, I do need to see you sometimes, And
36:23
Speaker 2: I'm like, do you know, do you really? And she's like, legally,
36:27
Speaker 2: I actually have to see you a certain number of
36:31
Speaker 2: times during the course of your pregnancy, and I have
36:33
Speaker 2: not laid eyes on you, and I just think I
36:37
Speaker 2: need to. I think that's part of my job. And
36:39
Speaker 2: I kept pushing back on her, and she's like, I
36:42
Speaker 2: don't have many patients who don't want to see me
36:44
Speaker 2: as much as you don't want to see me. And
36:45
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's not that I don't want to see you,
36:47
Speaker 2: it's just I don't have time. I know what's normal,
36:50
Speaker 2: and I feel fine, and I know at the end
36:52
Speaker 2: of this pregnancy, I'm going to think I'm in labor
36:55
Speaker 2: sixteen times, and we'll get all our visits in the
36:58
Speaker 2: last week because you're gonna have to come over and
37:01
Speaker 2: you'll tell me I'm not in labor, and then you'll
37:02
Speaker 2: leave and we'll check all those boxes then. But I
37:06
Speaker 2: also said to her, I was like, right, but you
37:07
Speaker 2: also like, how many patients do you have that have
37:10
Speaker 2: four or five other children and just don't have the time.
37:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you could basically just add up the
37:16
Speaker 1: hours so you pay an if and ask it to babysit.
37:19
Speaker 1: That would be really nice.
37:21
Speaker 2: Well, she was incredible. When so that kid who broke
37:24
Speaker 2: her arm the night before my sixth baby was born,
37:27
Speaker 2: she came back. She came to my house twenty four
37:30
Speaker 2: hours after the baby was born to check on me,
37:33
Speaker 2: and I was in my kitchen changing ape, changing my
37:36
Speaker 2: toddler's diaper and my newborn was in a car seat
37:39
Speaker 2: on my kitchen floor. And this was literally twenty four
37:42
Speaker 2: hours after I had had a ten pound baby. And
37:44
Speaker 2: she walked in my house and was like, what's going on?
37:47
Speaker 2: Why aren't you in bed? And I was like, my
37:49
Speaker 2: husband's at the emergency room. She's getting a cast, and
37:52
Speaker 2: everyone I know has the flu or is on vacation.
37:55
Speaker 2: So here I am changing a diaper my toddler. It's
37:59
Speaker 2: not great. Things are not great here, and she did.
38:02
Speaker 2: She stayed for two hours until Seth came home. She's like,
38:05
Speaker 2: I'm going to cancel my next appointment.
38:06
Speaker 1: Oh, that's really kind.
38:08
Speaker 2: I cannot in good conscience. Yeah, She's like, I cannot
38:11
Speaker 2: in good conscience leave you alone with a one day
38:14
Speaker 2: old and a seventeen month old and three other children
38:18
Speaker 2: while you're waiting for a kid to get a cast. Yeah,
38:22
Speaker 2: so she put in her hours.
38:24
Speaker 1: So my new anxiety about giving birth. I'm I'm in
38:28
Speaker 1: the kind of denial stage. I've given birth right now,
38:30
Speaker 1: and now I need to get to acceptance.
38:32
Speaker 2: But that's when you have the baby. Is when you
38:34
Speaker 2: get to acceptance, by the.
38:35
Speaker 1: Way, Yeah yeah, yeah, but I started crying. I was like,
38:38
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm not going to be well rested.
38:41
Speaker 1: Like what if I go into labor and I'm not
38:43
Speaker 1: well rested, you will not be well rested because last time,
38:46
Speaker 1: my whole focus was on like, oh as soon as
38:49
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in early labor, go to sleep,
38:53
Speaker 1: you won't go to I'm not going to be able
38:55
Speaker 1: to do that this style. So what if I'm just
38:58
Speaker 1: exhausted physically to I live it and I can't push
39:01
Speaker 1: the baby out anymore?
39:02
Speaker 2: No, that's not a thing. Your body. Your body will
39:04
Speaker 2: be like get it out, no matter how tired you are.
39:07
Speaker 2: But you're gonna be really, really frickin tired, and you're
39:10
Speaker 2: gonna get much better sleep after the baby comes out.
39:12
Speaker 2: It's like I always say, you all sleep and I'm dead,
39:15
Speaker 2: you'll sleep after the baby comes out. There's nothing resembling
39:20
Speaker 2: good sleep at the end of her present. There's no
39:23
Speaker 2: way you're not going to sleep for six weeks. But
39:26
Speaker 2: then after you have the baby, you can hand it
39:29
Speaker 2: to Nick and say I'm gonna go take a two
39:31
Speaker 2: hour nap, and that is first thing on your list
39:34
Speaker 2: when you come home.
39:35
Speaker 1: Well, this also, this is terrible, but this also My
39:39
Speaker 1: last baby after I gave birth to was in the
39:42
Speaker 1: neck you for two days. I was the most well
39:45
Speaker 1: wrested mother in the world because then I knew that
39:51
Speaker 1: she was gonna be fine. Everything was okay. But apparently,
39:54
Speaker 1: like if like you, baby doesn't end up going to
39:56
Speaker 1: the neck you, they just expect you to look after
39:58
Speaker 1: the baby. It's a way.
40:01
Speaker 2: So this, this angers me more than almost anything in
40:04
Speaker 2: the world. This like baby friendly hospital policy, because I mean,
40:09
Speaker 2: this is so much of like why I wanted to
40:10
Speaker 2: start mom Wars, both the podcast and the substack. Everyone
40:13
Speaker 2: please go subscribe to the substack because this societal expectation
40:19
Speaker 2: that in order to be a good mother you have
40:20
Speaker 2: to martyr yourself for your baby. Even when there is
40:24
Speaker 2: a negligible benefit to your baby, you should still martyr yourself.
40:28
Speaker 2: You should still kill yourself. And so the number of
40:30
Speaker 2: stories I've heard from women who had forty eight hour
40:33
Speaker 2: labors and then a C section and then they're expected
40:36
Speaker 2: to care for their baby alone in the room.
40:41
Speaker 1: The nursy.
40:42
Speaker 2: So you need to be really and this is advice
40:45
Speaker 2: to you and to many moms listening. You have to
40:48
Speaker 2: be assertive. You have to just because the nurses are
40:51
Speaker 2: going to push back and the nurses are going to
40:53
Speaker 2: be annoyed because they're understaffed. This there's always a stupid
40:57
Speaker 2: money reason why they do things in healthcare. It's because
41:00
Speaker 2: they don't have to staff the nursery anymore. But that's
41:03
Speaker 2: not a you problem, that's their problem. Say I need
41:06
Speaker 2: an hour. Take the baby. I just nursed the baby,
41:10
Speaker 2: I just changed the baby. Take the baby and do
41:13
Speaker 2: not care what the woman thinks when when she looks
41:17
Speaker 2: at you like you're a terrible person, because you're never
41:19
Speaker 2: going to see her again. Her judgment means nothing to you.
41:23
Speaker 2: Take the baby and sleep with a clear conscience, because
41:26
Speaker 2: that's her job.
41:27
Speaker 1: Well, I was talking to my Duna about this and
41:30
Speaker 1: I said exactly the same thing that I said to you,
41:33
Speaker 1: And she was like, I don't even know if nurseries
41:35
Speaker 1: and hospitals exist anymore. It's like I have not like
41:38
Speaker 1: seen that in a wild.
41:42
Speaker 2: Because there's always circumstances where you know, a mom is
41:45
Speaker 2: knocked out and they have they have to bring the
41:47
Speaker 2: baby out of it. Like they exist, They're not as much,
41:50
Speaker 2: they're not used as much. There's so much shame thrust
41:54
Speaker 2: upon moms who ask for it.
41:56
Speaker 1: But I didn't even know this. I'm I'm shame this.
42:00
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. And also, like speaking of being shameless, bring
42:04
Speaker 2: an empty bag with you, like an empty Duffel bag,
42:07
Speaker 2: and towards the end of every nursing shift, throw in
42:10
Speaker 2: all the diapers, throw in all the wipes, throw in
42:12
Speaker 2: all the blankets, steal all the things because they're going
42:15
Speaker 2: to charge you fifty five thousand dollars for a band ba,
42:20
Speaker 2: so just take all the things and feel no shame.
42:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't take enough of those that, you know,
42:25
Speaker 1: those like insane huge pads.
42:28
Speaker 2: M hm, take all of that.
42:29
Speaker 1: I did not take enough last time, and I really
42:32
Speaker 1: regretted it.
42:33
Speaker 2: Towards the end of every nursing shift. Clear it out.
42:36
Speaker 2: And then when the new nurse comes in, say I'm
42:39
Speaker 2: out of diapers and pads. Yes, that is such a
42:42
Speaker 2: good bring an empty duffel. Wait do you get all
42:46
Speaker 2: that stuff with how this?
42:47
Speaker 1: No?
42:48
Speaker 2: No, no, that's one of the real downsides. But I
42:50
Speaker 2: will say either, here's another parenting tip for all of you,
42:54
Speaker 2: and everyone's gonna send me messages over the course of
42:56
Speaker 2: the next year to say thank you. They're called Chuck's
42:59
Speaker 2: Pa there. They look like puppy pads. Honestly, you buy
43:03
Speaker 2: tons of them. They have them in the hospitals, but
43:05
Speaker 2: I have to buy them separately. When I they have
43:08
Speaker 2: like birth kits that you can buy from you know,
43:11
Speaker 2: supply companies, and I use those Chucks pads for when
43:16
Speaker 2: a kid has what we call the vomit sickies, and
43:19
Speaker 2: I line the top half of their bed with Chucks
43:22
Speaker 2: pads and if they puke, I can just wrap it up.
43:25
Speaker 1: I do that too, I already do that.
43:27
Speaker 2: Amazing, Yeah, amazing, And I.
43:29
Speaker 1: Actually buy puppy pads like yeah.
43:33
Speaker 2: It's It's one of my best parenting tips. Always make
43:35
Speaker 2: sure you have a vessel for every single person in
43:38
Speaker 2: your house to puke into, whether it be a bucket
43:41
Speaker 2: or whatever. You have to plan for eight people to
43:43
Speaker 2: be puking at the same time you have six.
43:47
Speaker 1: But too many people.
43:49
Speaker 2: I will proselytize too many pikes. Activate a trickle it
43:55
Speaker 2: has I really need to. Yeah, you should have it
43:59
Speaker 2: in your house.
44:00
Speaker 1: Every time I feel like I'm going to throw up,
44:02
Speaker 1: I think of you, and I'm like, damn, why didn't
44:04
Speaker 1: I just get the Amazon delivery.
44:06
Speaker 2: The number of people are you ordering it? Right now?
44:10
Speaker 1: I've added into my mash. Do you know what I
44:13
Speaker 1: have in my call right now? I have a plate
44:15
Speaker 1: catch in freedom you know the Freedom mom like postpost
44:20
Speaker 1: and ice pack. Yeah, one of those would like a
44:23
Speaker 1: parry ball and actually to chocolateal I love it. And
44:28
Speaker 1: preparation h oh god.
44:31
Speaker 2: Preparation age. Oh the joys of pregnancy. Shout out to
44:36
Speaker 2: our social media manager Sarah by the way, we talked
44:39
Speaker 2: about pregnancy and all of its joys like preparation age
44:44
Speaker 2: in our group chat and she was like, you guys
44:46
Speaker 2: are really selling this pregnancy thing really hard, and I'm like, yeah.
44:51
Speaker 1: It's funny that whenever Nick sees people who like mutual
44:56
Speaker 1: friends with both of us, he'll start telling them something
44:59
Speaker 1: about like how I am this week, how my pregnancy
45:02
Speaker 1: is going, and all of them are always saying, oh,
45:04
Speaker 1: I've had detailed texts about your wife's like issues this week.
45:11
Speaker 1: I think it needs you to tell me again, And
45:13
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, okay, that's kind of weird.
45:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, Seth. Seth is in denial about how much I
45:20
Speaker 2: talk about our family in public, and he's not comfortable
45:23
Speaker 2: with it. I've also, oh I want a PSA. I've
45:25
Speaker 2: been co hosting Morning radio here in Washington, DC like
45:29
Speaker 2: kind of a lot lately, WML one of five point nine.
45:34
Speaker 2: You can listen to it online. If you're local, you
45:36
Speaker 2: can listen to it. And it's from five to nine am.
45:39
Speaker 2: And I've been co hosting like two three times a week.
45:42
Speaker 1: Being a radio host seems like a very fun Joe,
45:46
Speaker 1: so much fun.
45:47
Speaker 2: I love it. I just say stuff. We enjoy it.
45:50
Speaker 1: You can just say stuff.
45:52
Speaker 2: And I feel like at nine am, I've accomplished so much.
45:56
Speaker 1: Well, times you have to wake.
45:57
Speaker 2: Up like three thirty four o'clock, and I get so
46:02
Speaker 2: much done during commercial breaks because I'm never sitting at
46:06
Speaker 2: a computer and so it's perfect because they're like six minutes,
46:10
Speaker 2: eight minutes and I'm like, oh, I can like go
46:13
Speaker 2: through my email, I can pay those bills. There's a
46:16
Speaker 2: lot of life admin happening during commercial breaks, and I
46:19
Speaker 2: feel ready for the day and not I am.
46:22
Speaker 1: That's a good hack.
46:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I've killed my day. I'm tired, but that's okay.
46:28
Speaker 2: I'm always tired me too. Speaking of tired, I am going.
46:34
Speaker 1: To go and sleep. Great.
46:36
Speaker 2: This is a great episode and we had wonderful conversations.
46:41
Speaker 2: Folks should subscribe to the substack and the podcast, and
46:44
Speaker 2: please leave us a review. Someone left a review saying,
46:47
Speaker 2: I interrupt you too much and talk about myself and
46:50
Speaker 2: it was so harsh and so ac about it was
46:55
Speaker 2: so accurate, and I'm trying so hard and I just
46:57
Speaker 2: want him to know that. And I know it was
46:59
Speaker 2: a man.
47:00
Speaker 1: It was a guy.
47:01
Speaker 2: Of course it had to have been.
47:02
Speaker 1: That's that's kind of that's kind of like it shows
47:06
Speaker 1: that the guys are listening. That's good.
47:08
Speaker 2: Sure, it's true.
47:11
Speaker 1: Asked us to do a Manopold episode, so let's let's
47:15
Speaker 1: do that.
47:16
Speaker 2: So that's going to get personal on my end, because
47:18
Speaker 2: you are You're fine end. They're getting dicier over here.
47:25
Speaker 2: All right, we'll have to have a guest. I know
47:29
Speaker 2: who to do. Okay, all right, okay until next week.
47:35
Speaker 2: Saddle Up Friends
47:43
Speaker 1: Ricochet join the conversation