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5: Everybody's Got a Hungry Heart · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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isn't just a podcast.
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It's also an online course.
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Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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Our current series is A Guide on the
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Side, How to Have Joyful Spiritual Conversations at
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Work.
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I want to start in an unusual way
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with a Bruce Springsteen song.
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His 1980 classic from his album The River,
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Hungry Heart.
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I'll just read a few lyrics here.
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Everybody needs a place to rest.
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Everybody wants to have a home.
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Don't make no difference what nobody says.
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Ain't nobody like to be alone.
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Everybody's got a hungry heart.
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Everybody's got a hungry heart.
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The thing about Springsteen is he just is
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so real, right?
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He speaks to the human condition with such
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authenticity.
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He has this sense of, this is how
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it is, and then he sings it and
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it's just, whoa, it hits you, right?
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Praise God for the boss.
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Okay.
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But in this particular song, he's getting at
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this idea of longing, right?
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Everybody's got a hungry heart.
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All of us have deep, deep longings, longings
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for connection, longings for acceptance, longings for love,
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longings for purpose and meaning, right?
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So the question is, are people aware of
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those longings?
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Sometimes they are, but we spend a lot
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of our lives kind of running away from
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our own sense of longing.
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And for us as disciples of Jesus, I
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would suggest that part of our role in
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the world is to help people remember how
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much they want, to help people remember, I
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have a longing, I have a hungry heart.
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Because it's uncomfortable, right?
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It's uncomfortable to acknowledge you have a hungry
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heart if you don't have something, someone that
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can fill, that can satisfy that hunger, right?
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Jesus said, blessed are those who hunger and
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thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied
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or more literally, they will be filled.
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Jesus wants to fill our hearts with his
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grace, his love, his joy, something that can
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satisfy us beyond anything else in the world.
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And yet, if we aren't in touch with
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that life-giving food that Jesus feeds us,
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it's easier to anesthetize the feeling, to distract
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ourselves, to throw ourselves into busyness or to
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distraction.
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And so as disciples of Jesus, we kind
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of want to nudge people, kind of want
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to nudge them and just say, Hey, do
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you remember how much you want?
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Do you remember that your heart is hungry?
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How do we do that?
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Well, I would like to suggest that one
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way we can do that is by asking
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really good questions.
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So that's what I want to talk about
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in this episode is how do we ask
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good questions?
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Jesus as always is our teacher here.
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So in the beginning of this series, we
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looked at John chapter one, Jesus's interaction with
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a couple of the disciples.
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I just want to go back there.
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So this is John chapter one, verse 36.
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When John the Baptist saw Jesus passing by,
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he said, Look, the Lamb of God.
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When the two disciples heard him say this,
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they followed Jesus.
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Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked,
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What do you want?
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Let's just pause there.
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Isn't that a beautiful first quote from Jesus
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in the gospel of John?
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What do you want?
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Jesus sees these two disciples.
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Jesus, right in the kind of prophetic mystery
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of his being, probably knows all sorts of
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things about them, even though they don't know
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very much about him.
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And he starts not by telling them something,
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but by asking them something.
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What do you want?
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Another translation, that's in the NIV that I
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just quoted from.
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Another translation, New Revised Standard Version, Updated Edition,
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has it as, What are you looking for?
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Jesus is asking them a question about their
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whole lives.
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What do you want?
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What are you looking for?
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And then he invites them in.
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He begins to answer the hunger of their
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heart.
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We as disciples of Jesus, for ourselves, need
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to be asking, What do I want?
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What am I looking for?
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And am I finding Jesus when I'm looking
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for love?
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And am I finding Jesus when I'm looking
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for meaning?
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Am I finding Jesus when I'm looking for
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purpose?
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And then as we have opportunity with others,
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we're kind of provoking that sense of, Hey,
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what do you want?
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What are you looking for?
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Okay, so how can we ask good questions?
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Well, as we've looked at in other episodes,
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this is within the context of living a
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life where we're making the most of every
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opportunity.
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We're kind of building the groundwork so that
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spiritual conversations are natural and organic when they
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happen to come up with our coworkers.
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One model for this similarly that kind of
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talks about the sequence, right, is from the
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Australian evangelist we've been citing Sam Chan from
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his book, How to Talk About Jesus.
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And it's just a very simple framework he
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gives called coffee, dinner, gospel, coffee, dinner, gospel.
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And he associates it with a kind of
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visual he gives and see if there's some
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way we can get this visual in the
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show notes.
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I'm not sure.
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But it's basically like a target.
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And at the center of the target is
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worldview.
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And then the next ring out is values.
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And then the biggest ring out is interests.
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And he says, in a friendship, you can
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kind of work your way towards the center
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over time.
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So coffee is the interest layer.
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This is when you're getting to know somebody
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over coffee, right?
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Or at work, you know, you're chatting, how
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was your weekend, et cetera, the small talk,
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what are they interested in?
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You know, like I learned that my coworker
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Marco likes Formula One racing, okay, interests, not,
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not super deep, but it's just that kind
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of like coffee level.
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Then dinner, you go one layer deeper, the
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values level.
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Do I learn what Marco really cares about?
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What motivates him?
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Well, actually, recently, he got to share with
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me about how he chose to work at
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the food bank because he was kind of
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tired of his work, not really counting for
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something in the world.
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It's like, oh, that's a value, right?
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He values his work, making a difference in
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people's lives, right?
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So that's a little bit of a deeper
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layer, right?
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And that was a lunch conversation, right?
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So in the work context, maybe it's coffee,
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lunch, gospel, right?
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And then, right, the gospel conversation, gospel conversation
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is then, why do you believe what you
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believe?
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What do you believe about ultimate things?
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Okay.
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Again, kind of getting at that heart question,
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right?
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What do you want?
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What are you looking for?
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So Sam calls these nudge questions, and he
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writes, nudge questions act like a catalyst.
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It's also helpful to think of these types
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of questions as catalyst questions.
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They act the same way a catalyst acts
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in chemistry.
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All the ingredients are there for a chemical
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reaction, but nothing happens until we add a
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catalyst.
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When it comes to evangelism, sometimes all the
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ingredients are there for a good conversation about
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Jesus, trust, relationships, friends, hospitality, but we need
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a nudge question, a catalyst question, to launch
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the conversations into the next layer.
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Nudge questions are designed to give our friends
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permission to talk about their faith, spirituality, and
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religion.
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And then he goes on and gives some
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examples.
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So I just want to read through this
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list of example kind of nudge questions.
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And again, keep in mind, you're using discernment
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as you're prayerfully attentive to God and to
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the people around you.
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It's not like you have a script ahead
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of time, like, here's the nudge question I'm
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going to ask.
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It's in the moment, does this organically make
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sense in this friendship to ask?
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And then can you ask it?
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All right.
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So here's some examples.
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What are you looking for in life?
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Why is this important to you?
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What is the one thing you absolutely must
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have in this life?
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What happens if you don't find what you're
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looking for?
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What do you think it all means?
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What do you believe about God?
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What do you think God wants from you?
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Do you have a faith?
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What religion did your parents raise you with?
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Do you pray?
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What's the best thing about being a Muslim?
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Tell me about some traditions, festivals, or celebrations
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that are important to you.
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What do people get wrong about Islam?
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And those examples, obviously, Muslim and Islam, but
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you could substitute in Buddhist, Buddhism, et cetera,
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whatever their tradition is, if they happen to
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have one.
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So isn't that a great list?
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Think about your own questions.
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What would feel natural for you?
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What could actually roll off your tongue in
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a conversation, right?
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I was once challenged, it was actually in
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a course, the Nine Arts of Spiritual Conversations,
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which I've mentioned before.
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They challenged us to ask somebody, have you
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ever had an experience of God?
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Or maybe a softer version, an experience that
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you couldn't explain.
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I asked a coworker that question, and he
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had this whole story he wanted to share.
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I was blown away at how open he
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was, because I had not thought that he
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would be that open.
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And so again, sometimes all it takes is
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that nudge.
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Can you ask it?
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Speaking of the Nine Arts of Spiritual Conversations,
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going to that book by Mary Schaller and
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John Crilly, they have this beautiful way of
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framing our general posture as we're asking this
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kind of question.
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Let me read.
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Culminating 50 years of research as a social
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and organizational psychologist, Edgar Schein, Professor Emeritus at
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the MIT Sloan School of Business, discovered that
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asking questions is the key to building positive
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relationships.
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Schein labels this way of asking humble inquiry,
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the gentle art of asking instead of telling.
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He defines humble inquiry as, quote, the fine
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art of drawing someone out, of asking questions
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to which you do not already know the
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answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity
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and interest in the other person.
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Isn't that beautiful?
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Humble inquiry.
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And so when we're asking these questions, it's
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not like this is some sort of tactical
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thing where it's like, okay, you ask this
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question and then based on how they respond,
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you kind of lock them into a place
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where then you can share the gospel with
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them.
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Like, no, no, no.
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We're not trying to control things here.
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We're genuinely asking questions because we're genuinely curious
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about what our friends believe.
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And so then there's some guidance here from
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John Crilly and Mary Schaller on what makes
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good questions.
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They write, good questions originate from curiosity and
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a genuine interest in another person.
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Good questions are open-ended.
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Use classic openers such as who, what, why,
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and how.
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Good questions are concise.
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Don't ramble.
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End at the question mark and then listen.
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Good questions don't come out of nowhere.
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They connect with what's being discussed and move
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the conversation forward.
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Good questions help people feel safe and understood.
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After others speak, rephrase what they said to
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be sure you understood their response and give
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them a chance to correct you if you
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didn't.
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They also give a few practices to avoid,
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and I'll just read one of those.
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Don't correct a person's response to your question
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with the right answer, but allow him or
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her the space to discover the truth as
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you pray and trust the Holy Spirit to
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work.
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Okay, so you get this, right?
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You're genuinely curious about the other person.
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You ask a question that's genuinely interested about
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spiritual things.
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That might take a little bit of boldness
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because some people would just shy away from
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those kind of questions, but then you're not
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trying to immediately give them all of the
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answers that you have about Jesus.
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You're still just listening.
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You're absorbing some of their story.
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You're taking it in, right?
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You're asking follow-up questions in a genuine
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way, and you're building trust, and you're gauging
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their level of interest and seeing is this
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the kind of thing they're okay talking about
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as you go, and you're hopefully prayerfully doing
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this, right?
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So maybe they say something about what they
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believe that is totally different from your Christian
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convictions, right?
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Totally off the wall.
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Rather than turning it around and immediately feeling
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like you have to correct that, right?
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It's like, no, I don't have to correct
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it right now.
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I may not ever have to correct it.
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The Holy Spirit's working in their life.
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I'm just listening.
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I'm creating space where they can share their
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story and their known.
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That's going to build trust so that as
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time goes on, maybe there will be opportunity
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for me to share some of the good
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news with them as well.
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Okay, I want to go to one more
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book, which has another list of questions that
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are helpful.
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So this is I Once Was Lost by
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Don Everts and Doug Schaup.
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I mentioned this in our last episode, too.
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But they talk about this in terms of
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provoking curiosity, right?
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That's kind of their version of Sam Chan's
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nudge questions.
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You want to nudge people.
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You want to provoke people, right?
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And so here's their list of questions that
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they would encourage.
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Have you ever had a spiritual experience?
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Would you like to have one?
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Have you ever felt like you received a
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sign from God?
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What would you do if God gave you
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a sign?
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What is your take on this whole God
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question?
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What do you think God is like?
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Why do so many people hide behind religion?
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What do you think is wrong with Christians
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today?
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What do you think life is about?
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Do you think you have a destiny?
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Do you think that people are more spiritually
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interested today than they were five years ago?
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What is the most significant thing that has
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happened to you in the last month?
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And then they write this.
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I love this.
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You might be surprised how getting your mouth
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used to asking certain provocative questions will serve
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you later on when you're in a conversation.
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Getting better at asking questions is a way
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of serving our friends.
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I just love that turn of phrase, getting
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your mouth used to asking certain provocative questions.
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Again, part of the whole heart of this
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series is you can do it.
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So practice, right?
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Slow down, return to the transcript of this
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episode, or look up any of these book
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resources and their lists of questions, and actually
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practice saying those questions out loud.
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And then imagine, which of these questions could
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I ask in a way that actually feels
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normal to me?
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Which of these could I use in a
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friendship in a healthy, normal, relational way?
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As you get your mouth used to asking
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those kind of questions, again, you're actually serving
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your friends.
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You're creating space.
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You're creating permission for people to talk about
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the hungers of their heart.
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Because everybody's got a hungry heart.
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And often, we don't have permission to talk
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about it.
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And often, we're distracting or anesthetizing, running away
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from that hunger of our heart.
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And if we become the kind of people
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where people can talk to us about that
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hunger, then in friendship with them, we may
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also have opportunity to talk to them about
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the feast that Jesus is willing to provide.
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Lord Jesus, thank you that you do bless
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those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.
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And I ask that you would help us
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to keep our eyes open to the people
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around us, to see when people are experiencing
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spiritual hunger, to sense when they may be
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open to hearing about something, and to know
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when it's just time to listen and to
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ask and to be curious.
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Inspire us with boldness and gentleness as we
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ask questions that can maybe help our friends
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open the door.
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Jesus, do your work in us as we
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do our work with you.
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and get info about upcoming courses on faith
15:16
in the workplace, go to our website missioncentral
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