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Conversations with a Vet Sonya Achara - Marine Veteran · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

1:07
Well, good evening everybody, and welcome to Conversations
1:09
with a Vet. My name is Carol Lee.
1:12
Thank you all for joining me tonight, this Sunday.
1:15
Hopefully everybody has had a wonderful, wonderful, great and
1:20
absolutely beautiful weekend. I know we've been inundated with
1:23
a lot of rain and hopefully some of that has gone to those states
1:27
needing it that are completely in a drought.
1:29
But anyway, I have a wonderful guest who has graciously agreed
1:35
to come on and tell her story. So if you all would please help
1:40
me, welcome Sonia Achara. Hi.
1:46
Hi. How are you doing today?
1:50
I'm good. I'm definitely excited to be
1:53
here speaking with you. We're really excited to have you
1:57
and thank you so much for agreeing to come on.
2:00
So I met you on, if I remember correctly, it was tip of the
2:06
spear. Is that correct?
2:07
Yeah. And so it was wonderful getting
2:11
to know you a little bit and and then agreeing to come on the
2:14
channel. So thank you again.
2:16
So I like to start my shows off by asking my guests a little bit
2:21
about who they were as a child. So for those who are watching,
2:26
why don't you tell us who you were, Sonia as a kid?
2:31
So, so as a kid, I was, I was a kid that got into athletics
2:38
pretty early on. I actually feel like it was kind
2:44
of a, an escape for me because I had an emotionally neglectful
2:50
childhood. I grew up in a household where
2:53
you know, that, you know, my parents just didn't say I love
2:57
you. There was no hugs and kisses
2:59
like it was, it was very stoic, I guess and and emotionally
3:06
abusive too. So I would say that there was
3:11
physical abuse in there sometimes too, but I don't, I
3:15
don't blame my parents anymore. I understand that they were
3:19
dealt, you know, certain cards as they grew up and just
3:25
basically just passed it on without the tools of knowing how
3:28
to change the like, break the generational curses type of
3:33
thing. So I yeah, so I basically delved
3:38
into sports. I learned how to push my body
3:42
past its limits at a very young age.
3:46
What sports did you enjoy playing?
3:48
I like playing soccer. I also played basketball,
3:52
volleyball, cross. I did cross country, I ran track
3:57
and field. So those were like the the main
4:02
sports. Which ones did you enjoy the
4:04
most out of that? So soccer was probably my
4:09
favorite and then later track became my favorite.
4:13
I think it was really the coaches that kind of determined
4:16
that for me. Coaches make a really big
4:19
difference in how well you succeed in your sport and you
4:24
know the motivation that they can provide.
4:27
Yeah, I definitely agree with that.
4:30
I just had, I mean, I had, I feel like I had a good soccer
4:33
coach at a young age where she's what she's the coach that got me
4:38
into soccer and actually was the first person that kind of pushed
4:42
me past my limits. And then as I got older, it was
4:48
really in like my junior college track coach.
4:53
Well, my high school track coach too, for sure.
4:55
My high school track coach and then my junior college track
4:58
coach, that got me kind of more into track versus soccer.
5:04
Nice. And then tell me about how you
5:08
felt as far as were you studious in school?
5:12
Did you enjoy school? I was not, I was not a school.
5:18
I didn't like school. I, I did what I needed to do to
5:24
be able to pass, but I was not the the one that had good
5:28
grades. My sister was the one in my
5:30
family that got good grades. And so I think that was another
5:36
reason why even going to college for me depended on like if I was
5:41
going to play sports, so. Yeah, and if you're going to get
5:45
a scholarship or something along those lines, I know that was
5:47
kind of my thing too, and I just had a better job offer.
5:55
Yeah, I understand that. At what point was it that you
5:59
decided you wanted to join the military, and specifically the
6:03
branch that you chose? So it was really because so I
6:08
did end up running track for San Diego State University and I was
6:14
really good at it obviously to get onto the D1AD1 track team.
6:19
But towards the end it was like my last year there.
6:22
I had a mental block because I was putting so much pressure on
6:26
myself. Looking back if this is the
6:28
reason, but I was putting so much pressure on myself and not
6:32
wanting to run a 62nd 400, which I had ran sub 60 seconds for a
6:40
while. And I for some reason I just
6:43
kept running that 60 seconds and it wasn't, I wasn't able to get
6:46
past it and they kicked me off of the track team.
6:50
So that was kind of devastating for me.
6:53
And I was like, what am I going to do next?
6:57
And I think I was trying for a year to do different jobs here
7:00
and there, but I was just like, I need to do something greater
7:04
than what? This is 'cause I was, I don't
7:07
know, I was doing like retail. I tried to work for like a
7:10
personal training, 'cause I majored in kinesiology.
7:14
So it was like the study of muscle movement.
7:19
Yeah. And so I was trying to kind of
7:22
work my way into the personal training stuff, but it wasn't
7:26
really working out how I, I don't know how I imagined.
7:30
And so I was like, let me you know what, let me join the
7:32
Marines. The Marines was that your first
7:35
choice was the Marines? It was my first choice because
7:40
in my mind I was like, well, if I'm going to join something,
7:43
it's going to be the hardest branch because I just thought I
7:47
was this like, I don't know if I could cuss, but you can cuss.
7:51
I was gonna say this. I just thought I was this bad
7:53
ass woman, you know, watching, watching shows, growing up,
7:59
seeing women kicking butt like that was like what I felt I
8:04
embodied. That's awesome.
8:06
That's absolutely wonderful. Really.
8:09
Truly. So what about your parents?
8:13
Did you tell them that's what you were wanted to do before you
8:16
signed on the dotted line? I told them after I signed up.
8:22
So I signed up and I was like, I'm joined.
8:24
I joined the Marines and they were like, what?
8:28
How'd that go over? So I think they were surprised,
8:32
but they ended up being like supportive of it.
8:37
Nice, very nice. So tell me what it was like for
8:42
you the moment you got off that bus.
8:48
So getting off the bus, well, first I was, my heart was
8:52
pounding, even riding up to the spot because I knew it was just,
8:58
you know, you just don't know what to expect.
9:00
You know, you think, you know, it's going to be some type of
9:03
chaos. But yeah, they come.
9:07
They basically came onto the bus and just start yelling, you
9:09
know, get out, get out, get out. And we had to run off, get onto
9:15
the yellow footprints and yeah, it's it's nerve wracking because
9:21
it's dark. Right, but they don't want you
9:24
to know where you're at. Yeah, they don't.
9:28
They do it on purpose. And so you you're standing on
9:32
those yellow footprints. Did it ever cross your mind that
9:34
you were standing on the footprints of those before you?
9:40
I guess I didn't really have time to think about that.
9:47
Like all I could think of was just like, like what did I get
9:51
myself into? What was your MOS that you
9:56
signed up? For So I signed up to be a radio
9:59
operator. I originally wanted
10:02
intelligence, but they said that they didn't have it available.
10:05
So they, they basically kind of convinced me that radio was
10:09
cool. And so I was just like, you know
10:13
what, I'll just, I'll do it. I just want to be a Marine.
10:17
So the first week I'm assuming is all receiving, is that right?
10:21
You're getting your gear, they're going through, you know,
10:24
doing all the checks and what have you.
10:27
Yeah, yeah, it's really all the the first three to four days is
10:30
just receiving, getting all your stuff.
10:32
And yeah. And honestly, these drill
10:35
instructors weren't, they weren't as bad as the ones I
10:42
received on like. Wow.
10:46
Formation day one. They don't want to scare you too
10:50
soon. Yeah, I guess it was to get you
10:54
ready. Right.
10:56
And OK, do you, you go through your receiving process and then
11:02
yes, you get to your first formation.
11:05
Tell me about what that's like. I mean, obviously you had that
11:09
phone call home, is that right? Yes, yes, I did have the phone
11:14
call home. I don't think anybody answered
11:16
though, SO. Did they say try again or no?
11:21
No. OK, OK.
11:23
Really. Yeah, try.
11:26
Plus, I didn't know. Yeah, I was just like, I'll try
11:28
once and then like if it doesn't work, like whatever.
11:34
Right, that's fair. So all right, you get.
11:37
So your first formation, what's going through your mind?
11:46
I'm trying to remember what was going through my mind.
11:48
I just remember it being very chaotic those first few days and
11:53
just so much yelling and screaming and like throwing
11:56
things and like in my face. And it was definitely a culture
12:02
shock for for everybody. I do think that I feel like I
12:08
adjusted a little better than most of the girls because I had
12:11
already been yelled at my whole life.
12:15
And so this was just a more intense, you know, in my face
12:20
type of yelling. And so it was definitely a
12:24
little bit of an adjustment for sure to your.
12:27
Look to your left and to your right and look at these ladies
12:30
and be like suck it. Up, I think a couple of times I
12:37
did, but I think I was even a little more compassionate about
12:43
it with them. But then it also depended.
12:48
There were some girls that just were very like snappy.
12:52
So I didn't feel bad for those, for the, for those girls.
12:59
It was very, yeah, I mean, everyone's in survival mode.
13:01
So I understand now why people get so people get so riled up
13:07
and snappy in those situations. But they they, they were
13:12
teaching us how to work as a team even in this type of
13:17
survival mode environment. Right, exactly.
13:22
So I I'm guessing during this time, right, you're getting to
13:25
know your your teammates pretty well and starting to move
13:33
together is 1 unit 1 platoon, right?
13:37
Yeah, yeah. So there was a few girls that I
13:40
was putting closer to than others, but yeah.
13:43
Yeah, now did you? You had the opportunity to write
13:47
home. Yes, I did have the opportunity
13:50
to write, so I wrote some letters.
13:54
I guess I didn't receive as many letters as I wanted to receive,
14:01
but I kind of also wasn't surprised either because my
14:04
family had always kind of been the type to like they didn't
14:09
really show up to my games and my games were important to me
14:14
so. Right.
14:16
For something like this, I kind of almost expected it already.
14:20
Yeah. And that that's sounds pretty
14:23
fair to expect. So you're going through this
14:28
process and what was the first 'cause I can't remember is my, I
14:36
was trying to remember when my youngest Marine veteran went
14:39
through we had as a parent, we had a calendar basically.
14:44
So what was the 2nd and was it second and third week?
14:48
Is it 2 week intervals? Yeah, I think every few weeks or
14:54
so there was a different phase. And so there's multiple phases
15:00
that you go through. Of those, did you have a
15:03
favorite? I think I, I want to say the
15:13
second or third because the third one would be a favorite,
15:19
more so because they treated us different, because we were more
15:24
evolved, more matured, I guess in the stages.
15:28
So they let us allowed us to do more things on our own, like
15:32
walk to church in a platoon or something together, you know,
15:37
take more leadership's leadership positions to lead the
15:42
group's places. And but the second one would
15:47
have been a favorite just because of the things we did.
15:50
Like a lot of the obstacle courses, the shooting range and
15:53
stuff like that were in the second phase.
15:55
And I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed doing those things.
15:59
Had you ever shot before? No, that was that was my first
16:04
time shooting, was in Marine Corps boot camp.
16:07
That's one of my favorite hobbies.
16:10
Yeah, I, yeah, I love it since because, well, after being in
16:16
for 14 years, I was a rifle range coach and pistol coach.
16:20
Nice, very nice. You being a female, and we'll
16:26
get to this, but just a question for the back of your mind for
16:29
later. You know, being a female coach
16:32
with predominantly males, right? And think about how you felt you
16:39
were received in that position. But so let's talk about you
16:46
already had the stamina for a lot of the PT, the physical
16:52
stuff. So that obviously, I'm assuming
16:55
helped you get through a lot of that the running and.
17:00
Yeah. So the interesting thing about
17:02
that is I ended up being one of the most in shape female
17:06
recruits there. There's always between me and
17:08
one other girl, just like racing each other.
17:11
Oh wow. Yeah.
17:12
And so since I stood out in that way, they actually, I felt like
17:17
they picked on me more because they were like, oh, Schmidt.
17:20
Like my name back then was Schmidt.
17:21
So it was like they were like, oh, Schmidt, you think you're
17:24
strong, you think you're fast. And so they were always no.
17:31
No. So OK, I can understand that,
17:34
right? They're trying to break you down
17:36
and you're not working with them.
17:41
All right, so you get through and now you had to go through
17:44
the gas chamber. What did you think of that?
17:48
Yeah, that was. I was nervous about it first,
17:51
but once it happened it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
17:56
That's, see, I think people get more nervous about the the
18:01
unknown, and that's causes a lot more anxiety than the actual act
18:07
of doing whatever it is they're gonna be doing.
18:10
Yeah, I believe that 100%. Yeah, our youngest said that
18:15
that was one of his favourites was the gas chamber.
18:18
Oh, OK, that's funny. It is very funny, you know,
18:22
unbeknownst to me, but and of course, the repelling portion
18:25
was the other that he really enjoyed.
18:29
So you're going through when you're in boot camp, obviously
18:38
there's there's people drop it out, right.
18:41
So when you started to, when you graduated, what do you figure
18:47
you had left in your platoon? Oh, ask the question one more
18:53
time. As far as the number of recruits
18:55
from the time that you started boot camp to the time you
18:58
graduated, what do you think the drop rate was?
19:02
We definitely dropped at least 20.
19:07
And that was out of. It was 60 some.
19:10
It was 60 something in the beginning.
19:12
We graduated with 40 something. I don't remember the exact
19:15
numbers, but that was yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's a it just goes
19:20
to show for the listeners, you know how difficult it is.
19:24
Any military branch, I'm not specifying specifically the
19:27
Marines, but just getting through, people don't realize
19:32
them. You've got to have a certain
19:34
mentality. You got to, you know, they're
19:36
going to break you down and build you back up to what they
19:39
want you to be, and they're going to do it the way that they
19:44
know how. And.
19:47
You kind of have to just suck it up and go.
19:49
But were there times where you just said, I want to just stop?
19:57
I want I, I I can't keep doing this.
20:00
There was never a time for me that I felt I wanted to quit.
20:05
I think for me, I just got used to it.
20:09
But the things I will say that annoyed me the most was just the
20:14
lack of freedom, you know, just not being able to, you know, do
20:21
all the things that I wanted to do, obviously.
20:24
But there was never a time that I wanted to quit.
20:27
Like I knew I was going to. I knew I was going to graduate
20:30
and I was going to graduate on time.
20:32
I wasn't going to get dropped, and I had already decided that
20:35
from the beginning. Nice.
20:38
Tell me about what it was like for the Crucible for you.
20:41
The Crucible was definitely tough.
20:44
I think the hardest part for me was the hike at the end because
20:53
after all The Walking that we had already been doing, that
20:57
hike almost broke me because I was getting blisters on that
21:03
hike. And so the blisters were so bad.
21:06
Like it was just like painful to walk.
21:09
And so I really had to suck it up.
21:12
Like the last 6 miles I would say of that nine mile hike, I
21:19
was like just sucking it up the whole time.
21:23
Wow, what? What side did?
21:27
Where did you end up graduating from?
21:28
Where did you go to boot camp? I went to Paris Island cause at
21:32
the time that I joined it was only women could only graduate.
21:36
They could only go through boot camp in Paris, South Carolina.
21:39
Yeah, and that place, the moisture, the storms, when did
21:43
you go through? Yeah, it was 2010, April 2010.
21:48
OK, so springtime. So it was like hot summer when I
21:52
did the Crucible. Yeah, yeah.
21:56
Not fun, not fun. And what did you think about the
22:00
sand fleas? Those were annoying also, like
22:06
definitely, especially during PT and they didn't want us to like
22:10
smack, you know, smack. But there I will say there were
22:13
times where if it got really bad, they would come by and
22:16
spray bug spray on us, on us all.
22:21
That's good. So you OK, so you get your EGA
22:30
and where do you go from there? Yeah.
22:35
So for me, I feel, I feel like for most of us, the EGA was very
22:40
of a very emotional moment. I mean, just because of the, the
22:46
tough, you know, Crucible that we had to go through and then we
22:50
finally get there and we're like, wow, we made it.
22:52
And it's just you just get overwhelmed with emotion.
22:56
But after, after that, you know, we had a week of they called
23:00
Marine week where we were able to, you know, we called the
23:03
drill instructors vice Sergeant. So and so instead of ma'am or
23:08
Sir. And so that was a fun week.
23:12
And then we were able to finally graduate and go on leave back
23:16
home. And then Marine combat training.
23:22
Marine combat training was fun. I thought it was fun other than
23:26
not being able to shower for a little while.
23:31
That got pretty bad for a little bit, but but then going to MOS
23:38
school was fun. I met a lot of I've met a lot of
23:42
people that I stayed friends with for a long time.
23:46
MOS school cause some a lot of them ended up getting stationed
23:50
at my first duty station with me.
23:52
Nice, that's very nice 'cause there's a lot that don't have
23:56
that same luxury of having people that they've gone through
24:01
with. So tell me about your MOS
24:05
school. What was it like for
24:08
communications? So my MOS school was, it was
24:13
only two months long. It wasn't that long.
24:16
So it was really more of a, they actually made me the class
24:20
commander because I got I, I guess when we did our initial
24:25
PFT there, I, I ran the best PFT.
24:30
And so I was the class commander and it was challenging at times
24:34
being the class commander because it felt like a lot of
24:37
the other Marines were like just trying to, I guess, go against.
24:47
I feel like when you're young in the Marine Corps, you're just
24:50
taught like this very small snippet of of leadership, like
24:54
you're supposed to step it up and be a leader, but they don't
24:56
really teach you how to do that. So, so you're trying to lead
25:01
people and make sure people are like cleaning and doing all the
25:04
things they're supposed to do. And then people are talking back
25:06
and all kinds of craziness. Yeah, it's like they don't care
25:12
about the rank. They don't care about anything
25:14
till they get called on it or, you know, they actually have a
25:18
some kind of leadership that's coming down on them.
25:20
But. Yeah, yeah, 'cause it's only,
25:23
it's only one rank difference. At that point I had, I was APFC
25:26
and there were some privates under me, but there were some
25:29
that were the same rank as me. So they're like, well, I don't,
25:33
I don't have to listen to you. You what exactly when you're
25:41
going through this course, were they were they teaching you for
25:45
communications? So.
25:47
It's more than just to being a DJ.
25:50
Yeah, they were teaching us how to operate the military grade
25:54
radios. So that's really what they were
25:56
teaching us is how to operate the radios, how to keep them
25:59
clean, how to keep them organized, and it was just
26:06
really how to operate them. So nice.
26:11
And then once you get through your schooling, what happens
26:16
next for you? So after the schooling, I got
26:19
stationed in Camp Lejeune, NC, at Second Intelligence
26:23
Battalion. Yeah, Second Intelligence.
26:27
Yeah, yeah, 'cause first is in Pendleton, so Second
26:30
Intelligence Battalion as a radio operator there at the
26:37
intelligence battalion, they actually have units that go out
26:41
with, they have portions that go out with grunt units.
26:46
So they had some of our male radio operators actually go to
26:50
this section called GSP. It was like some type of ground
26:56
support platoon as the radio operators.
27:02
And so as a female, I wasn't able to to go with them
27:08
basically because they would deploy with like the counter
27:10
Intel guys, the in the grunt, grunt units and stuff like that.
27:17
And so you had to stay stateside.
27:20
Yeah, I basically had to. So I had to stay in the the
27:24
radio platoon, just the normal radio platoon, communications
27:27
platoon for the battalion. And they would get us, they
27:31
would take us for deployments. There were little deployments
27:36
here and there that came up, but we'd have to basically get
27:39
fapped out to another unit to deploy with them.
27:42
So I did end up deploying in April 2012 with a it was when we
27:51
were coming out of Afghanistan. So it was a logistics battalion
27:56
where we were just getting all the radio gear from, from the
27:59
grunt units. We were taking all their gear
28:02
and sending it back to the United States.
28:06
OK. All right.
28:07
How long did that last for you? I was there for eight months.
28:11
I was there in the summertime from April to October.
28:15
And was this your first time out of country?
28:20
Yes, yeah, it was. What?
28:23
How did it differ from what you envisioned?
28:29
I guess. I guess I thought I was going to
28:33
do more things outside of the wire they call it, but I was
28:42
basically located on a base out in the Helmand province.
28:48
So we had big Hesco barriers around the base and we had
28:54
guards on the outside of the base basically watching to make
28:59
sure that you know that we stayed safe on the base.
29:03
Right, right. And when you when you first got
29:08
there, were you surprised at the landscape?
29:13
No, I knew it would be. I knew it was going to be sandy
29:16
and dusty, but I didn't know. I think I underestimated the
29:21
heat because it was pretty bad. It was.
29:26
It felt like being inside a oven almost.
29:28
Oh man. What did you get to eat?
29:31
Did you? Was it MRE's?
29:32
Did you actually have a a chow hall?
29:36
So I actually got to go to chow halls that we had a few chow
29:39
halls on the base I was on. I was on Camp Dwyer.
29:42
They had a Camp Leatherneck out there and Camp Dwyer.
29:46
Camp Dwyer was the smaller of the bases and so I was on Dwyer
29:50
the whole time and there was a few.
29:53
There was a few chow halls to go to which the food was pretty
29:56
good to me. Hey, that's all that matters,
29:59
right? And if it tastes good and it
30:02
keeps you sustained. That's great.
30:06
What it was there any time then that you got to mingle with the
30:11
civilians there, or were you just strictly on base the whole
30:14
time, the whole 8 months? I was on base the whole time.
30:18
I did go, I get to, I got to fly in like a, a helicopter to
30:22
Leatherneck a couple of times. But the whole time they kind of
30:27
just left us on base because a friend, a friend and I did ask
30:33
if we could go off base, like patrolling with some of the
30:36
Marines. And our leadership said that
30:40
they didn't want us to because basically they're responsible
30:44
for anything that happens to us. So if we allow you to go off
30:47
base to patrol and something happens to you, that's on us.
30:51
And that's not what we came here for type of thing.
30:54
So they made that decision, which which makes a lot of
30:57
sense. So protect your Marines.
31:01
After your eight months of deployment there, what happens
31:04
for you next? So after deployment, I basically
31:11
come back and I don't know why I'm like motivated to do all
31:15
these things, but I something switches in me and I just like,
31:20
I go to become a martial arts instructor, a black belt martial
31:23
arts instructor. And then even after that I start
31:26
bodybuilding. Wow.
31:30
So, yeah, and I just got super into just the the martial arts
31:37
and the bodybuilding and I've, I've started to have this
31:42
reputation at that unit that I was like the one that was like
31:46
whipping people into shape as a female.
31:50
And so I became pretty well respected at that, at that first
31:54
unit. I picked up all the rank all the
31:56
way up to Sergeant at that unit. Wow.
32:00
And through this you've only been deployed the one time.
32:04
Is that accurate? Yeah.
32:06
OK, so you're now becoming a badass marine.
32:12
Yeah, yeah, Teaching martial. Arts.
32:16
Oh, that was also when I went to the coaches course to become a
32:19
marksmanship coach for the pistol and the rifle.
32:23
So through, I just wanted to do as much as I could to, to, yeah,
32:28
become this badass marine. Yeah, and it sounds like you've
32:32
achieved it. That's amazing.
32:35
So, all right, so you get through, you become a black belt
32:39
in martial arts and you also, you know, have have gone through
32:45
your, the bodybuilding, you're working on strength and, and
32:50
helping to instruct for rifle and for pistol.
32:56
And through all of this, where are you at?
33:02
Are you just stateside? Is it just for six months, a
33:05
year? How long are you there for?
33:08
Yeah, I was just stateside at the unit after I came back from
33:12
that deployment. I just was at Second Intel
33:15
Battalion for a couple years working on all that, and I ended
33:22
up basically deciding to go to become a recruiter.
33:29
I put in a recruiting package to become a recruiter 'cause I
33:33
wanted to. I guess I wanted to get ahead of
33:35
the 'cause they actually do this thing where they choose for you
33:40
sometimes to become a recruiter or a drill instructor.
33:43
They'll kind of rotate people in and out.
33:46
Yeah. Yeah.
33:48
And so you took you took the high roads and I'm going to do
33:50
this on my own, take the initiative.
33:53
And where were you stationed for that?
33:56
So for recruiting duty, I ended up getting, I was hoping to get
34:00
California, but I got sent to Kansas.
34:03
I was in, I was in basically. So it was Olathe, KS.
34:09
So it's kind of a city area of Kansas.
34:13
OK. And so you get these recruits
34:17
coming in or these people who are considering becoming a
34:22
Marine and you're who they see this, this this buff.
34:29
Yeah, yeah, I was. I was.
34:31
Were they all shocked? Were they like?
34:35
Whoa, yeah, they were. It was.
34:37
It's interesting. It was funny going on recruiting
34:41
duty because the kids all did like they had these stories
34:44
about me, like I was like, oh, Sergeant Schmidt can like kill
34:48
somebody with her bare hands. And you know, she was, they were
34:51
just, they would just make up all these things because of my
34:53
credentials. Like they knew that I was a
34:55
martial arts instructor. They saw some of the techniques
34:58
that I would do at the Puli functions 'cause I'd be part of
35:01
the demo where I would actually do the techniques on a male
35:06
Marine instructor. So I will say that my being on
35:10
recruiting duty there out in Kansas, I was one of the only
35:13
female recruiters out there. I was the only female they saw
35:17
of a Marine. And so I feel like I actually
35:20
was able to inspire a lot of the females that were there 'cause
35:26
we would do like female pool functions and stuff like that.
35:28
And, and I really enjoyed being that that mentor.
35:33
Right. Kind of the the Marine's version
35:36
of GI Jane. Yeah.
35:42
I can, I can imagine that, you know, being as fit as you were
35:48
at recruiting that you probably did get quite a bit of female
35:54
recruits for, for the Marine Corps.
35:59
And you did that for how long did you say?
36:02
Yeah, I recruited for three years.
36:05
So I did pick up staff Sergeant at the end of my tour, like the
36:08
very end. But yeah, I was one of the only
36:12
females when I first started doing pull ups.
36:15
I was one of the only females in my units that could do pull ups.
36:19
So I think then they they started actually testing it to
36:23
see if, you know, to actually move into females doing pull ups
36:28
instead of the flex arm hang. So I feel like I was definitely
36:32
part of that shift. They were like, Oh well, she can
36:34
do it. See.
36:36
Yeah, friends set her. You all right.
36:43
And then from there, after you complete your three years with
36:47
Recruit recruit training, where do you go from there?
36:52
So from there, they allowed me to choose where I wanted to go
36:56
kind of I because recruiting duty was a hard, it was a hard
37:00
duty. Like even though there were
37:01
things about it that I enjoyed, it was one of the toughest
37:05
duties I had to go through because of just the pressure
37:09
that they put on you. I ended up drinking, I was
37:13
drinking a lot. I would drink like a bottle of
37:15
wine a night when I was on recruiting duty because I was
37:18
just so stressed out and I didn't, you know, I did, there
37:22
was a lot of traumas I didn't realize was, was, was happening
37:27
with me during that duty. You know, they just tell you to,
37:31
they just tell you to suck it up and you look down upon, if you
37:37
like, there was some people that had suicidal ideations, they'd
37:41
get sent to Balboa to get evaluated.
37:43
And so I didn't want to be the, you know, the person that was
37:47
like looked at as weak. And so I just sucked it up, you
37:52
know, kind of kind of became an alcoholic through there.
37:55
But, but I do feel like bodybuilding is what saved me
37:58
because once I got off that duty, I just wanted to start
38:02
bodybuilding again 'cause I couldn't, I couldn't do it while
38:04
I was recruiting. It was just too much stress and
38:07
too much, too much going on that I wasn't able to keep it up.
38:10
I actually gained a lot of weight while I was on recruiting
38:13
duty. So I went looking one way buff
38:18
and then I left looking kind of a little fluffy so.
38:27
What kind? What was it like?
38:29
I mean, obviously there's numbers, right?
38:32
Recruiting is a numbers game. And how was it when you would
38:39
sit down and you would talk to these prospective recruits and
38:44
to get them to sign up, right? I mean, it's not an easy fee and
38:52
a lot of members are young and they have to have their parents
38:55
permission to even if they were going to go through the I can't
39:02
even think of the what it is before the, you know, before you
39:06
go to boot camp that. Oh yeah, the it's like the the
39:10
depth the depth program where they delayed entry program.
39:14
Thank you. That's it.
39:15
Yes, yes. And Even so, I can imagine that
39:21
it's it's difficult and the pressures that are put on for
39:26
the area that you were in, what was the numbers that you had to
39:29
hit? So for the area that I was in, I
39:35
had the numbers mostly were like two a month, but it was hard.
39:40
It was hard to get to a month. Like when I first got out there,
39:44
I was not doing well. I wasn't recruiting any people.
39:51
I felt like my station. They did a lot of like weird
39:53
tactics where to me, it was on, to me, it was unethical.
39:58
I didn't agree with the way that they were doing things.
40:01
And they were trying to get me to do some of these things.
40:04
And I was just like, I'm not doing it.
40:06
I don't care how much pressure there is, what's going on, Like
40:10
I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it my way.
40:12
And I got, you know, like ridiculed because of it.
40:17
But. There was one leader there, his
40:21
name was Master Shamel that pulled me to the side one time
40:24
when I was I was consistently writing 0 contracts and he pulls
40:28
me to the side and he's like, he's like Schmidt, like you're a
40:31
bad ass. You need to start putting that
40:35
story out there to these kids. Like you can, you can do like he
40:39
basically kind of spoke, spoke more life into me.
40:42
And so that kind of like shifted me and where I was like, OK, you
40:47
know, I can do this. I can, I, I pulled myself out of
40:51
this depression that I was in and I basically just started
40:54
having more fun with it 'cause I was taking the rejection
40:57
personally at first, I was taking it personal.
41:00
It was, it was bringing me down into a depression.
41:05
And I finally just shifted that perspective because of that one
41:10
leader. And so I shifted that
41:13
perspective and just started having more fun with it.
41:16
I started bringing kids to my physical training sessions.
41:20
Those were where I was able to actually just be myself, be the
41:24
leader that I had be. I had become a pretty good to
41:27
me. I had become a pretty good
41:28
leader by then because I was, I was good at speaking motivation
41:32
and what a leader should be. And I would push these kids
41:38
during the the physical training sessions and they loved it like.
41:42
That's amazing. Yeah, that's amazing.
41:46
Yeah, So I was able to start recruiting more and more kids.
41:49
I started getting into the schools my way instead of like
41:52
the way they were trying to. I was getting into the schools
41:55
by like just, you know, just coming continuously coming by
41:59
and showing like who I was, the type of person I was and well,
42:05
that I was actually trying to help their kids not do anything
42:08
slimy. And so they finally like, let me
42:11
into the schools I was doing. I was doing like combat fitness
42:15
tests with the football players. And so doing the combat fitness
42:19
test with the athletes like that even helped.
42:22
So by the end of my tour there, I was recruiting more people
42:25
than anybody in my office. Like we were supposed to do 2 a
42:29
month. I was doing like four or five.
42:31
Wow. And so me doing it my ended up
42:36
me ended up ending up doing it my way.
42:38
Paid off in the long run. Yeah, yeah.
42:42
That's and and you know, there's nothing wrong with thinking
42:45
outside the box and getting your point across in a different way,
42:51
but the same message. So I think that's wonderful.
42:54
So after your three years, what happens from there for you?
42:58
So after the three years on recruiting duty, I chose to go
43:01
to California. So I got stationed in Camp
43:03
Pendleton, Oceanside. I didn't have much of A choice
43:06
which unit, so I got stationed at 9th Con Battalion.
43:10
I just wanted to go to California.
43:12
So I was happy with that. And coming off recruiting duty,
43:16
I honestly looked at it like this isn't anything compared to
43:22
cause some people at 9th Con Battalion kind of were.
43:26
I guess they had a negative outlook on it because there was
43:29
a lot of work to do there. But for me it was better than
43:34
being on a recruiting duty because now I have my weekends
43:37
and my holidays back. And so I'm happy to be here at
43:42
9th Com Battalion. I actually, I come as a staff
43:48
Sergeant, so I'm, I'm in a leadership role and there's a
43:52
lot of things that my platoon, so my MOS changed as I went back
43:59
into the from recruiting duty, it had changed.
44:03
So it went from being just radio to transmissions.
44:07
And so yeah, so once I got to 9th Com Battalion, my platoon
44:12
happened to be a piece of equipment I had never worked
44:14
with before. It was called a track 170.
44:19
And it was just this big bulky thing that you have to set up
44:22
and it kind of talks to somebody across the, you know, across the
44:27
land. And it's just, it was just
44:30
weird. And so I had to kind of humble
44:32
myself and have the Marines teach me like, you have to see,
44:37
like, I've never seen this equipment before.
44:39
So I'm not going to act like I know it all.
44:41
And they basically taught me how to use it.
44:46
But then at the same time, when I was planning field OPS, they,
44:51
they said that the track 170, the last few field OPS, they
44:54
couldn't get it to work. But me and this female
44:57
Lieutenant actually got it to work because of the, I think it
45:05
was all the planning that me and her, because me and her worked
45:07
well together, we were able to do a lot of things.
45:10
And I was like, I got I like, I'm the type of person like I'm
45:12
going to make it happen. So whatever, I didn't know I was
45:15
going to find out. And I was running around all
45:18
over the place trying to plan this field off with this
45:20
Lieutenant. And it ended up being a huge
45:24
success. And I felt that that was, I felt
45:30
it was because like, we respected our Marines and we, we
45:33
learned from them. And it was more of a reciprocal
45:36
type of type of relationship, not like I'm, I'm the leader.
45:39
You have to listen to me. Yeah, doesn't always work.
45:46
I mean, theoretically it should work, but yeah, I get that.
45:50
And so your field OP went without a hitch then?
45:54
Yeah, I did. Nice.
45:56
And so I guess after what was your question?
46:01
Oh, I just say, yeah, So what happens after that for you?
46:04
Yeah. So after that they ended up,
46:09
yeah, I just built a reputation as being one of the staff NC OS
46:12
that can like make things happen.
46:14
And there wasn't that many at the time that could.
46:17
And even though we had a lot of staff NC OS in our platoon in
46:22
our company, they ended up choosing me to go be the company
46:27
Gunny up at Headquarters company.
46:30
So, so as a staff Sergeant, I went to go be the company Gunny.
46:35
It's usually AE sevens job, but I was E6 doing the job and I
46:40
basically had some, some of the people in my company that I was
46:44
like technically in charge of were gunnies and staff
46:48
sergeants. And so it was another leadership
46:52
situation where I had to learn how to navigate things in a more
47:00
diplomatic way versus, you know, just trying to tell people what
47:05
to do, right, Right. And how long were you in that
47:09
position for? I did that position for about a
47:12
year and then they ended up switching me to they, they
47:17
pushed me over to they actually kept me in headquarters company,
47:20
but I ended up being like the what is that called?
47:25
The chief. It was the chief who, the
47:28
training chief. So, so I did all the training
47:30
for the battalion as far as PF TS go, CF TS.
47:35
I was also in charge of the BCP program, the force, the force
47:39
fitness program. Well, which the BCP program
47:43
became the force fitness program, but but yeah and we 9th
47:50
Comm, we actually did our own ranges.
47:52
So we would do our own shooting ranges for the whole battalion
47:56
and I was in charge of actually planning that and and executing
48:02
that for the battalion. Wow, that's a lot.
48:06
I mean, really that's quite a bit of responsibility that you
48:11
have at your fingertips to have to take care of.
48:16
And how was how were you able to manage juggling all of that?
48:22
So they did actually, since it was such a big battalion, they
48:25
did have me and one other guy in charge of it.
48:28
So I was kind of Co, I guess, Co in charge of, of it.
48:32
So I think we worked well together and we were able to, we
48:40
were able to do some good stuff for the battalion.
48:44
So that that helped. I think if it was if I was by
48:46
myself, it would have been a little tougher.
48:51
But I did, you know, I learned a lot from the situation just
48:54
being in that position. And I definitely feel like it
48:59
actually helped me get ready for my next the next unit that I
49:03
went to. So.
49:05
Tell me about the next unit. How'd that?
49:07
How'd that play out? So the next unit I get stationed
49:10
at, so this place, they call it them, they used to call it the
49:15
Mace is the Martial Arts Center of excellence, but they changed
49:18
it to the Martial Arts and Fitness Center of Excellence in
49:21
Quantico, Virginia. And I had always looked up to
49:25
the place, 'cause I was a martial arts instructor and I
49:27
was like, you know, it was just the epitome like of the, the
49:32
character, like the, the, all the stuff they teach you in
49:35
martial arts is like the character building, mind, body,
49:40
soul type of thing that they try and teach you in, in our martial
49:44
arts program. And so I just looked up to the
49:46
place and I was excited to go there to be an instructor.
49:51
So I was going to be a force fitness instructor, trainer.
49:56
And all the interesting that thing that happened is when I
49:59
applied to go there, I didn't even go through the course yet
50:04
to be a force fitness instructor.
50:06
And they were like, well, why do you think you should be an
50:10
instructive trainer if you haven't even gone through the
50:12
course? How do you know you'll pass?
50:14
And I was like, I just know, like I I've never failed
50:17
anything in my career. And even the martial arts
50:20
instructor course was the tough. It was, it was tough.
50:25
And to be able to pass that, I was just like, like, whoa, like
50:28
most men. There was a lot of men that
50:30
didn't even pass that course. So, so yeah, I was, I went
50:38
through the Force fitness course and I ended up tearing my ACL on
50:42
the obstacle course. Oh no.
50:45
And so I was worried that they were going to like drop me and I
50:48
wasn't going to be able to go be an instructor trainer.
50:52
But I was like, you know what I was telling the athletic
50:56
trainer, I was like, I'm going to like, I'm going to, I swear,
50:59
like I'm going to be able to do the culminating event at the
51:02
end. Just don't drop me.
51:04
And so I was doing rehab with him.
51:07
I didn't even know my ACL was torn until 2 weeks later.
51:10
I had already gotten off crutches by the time I found out
51:14
and it was completely torn. So I did feel that my knee was a
51:18
little bit unstable, but I guess my muscles were strong enough
51:24
'cause I was bodybuilding previously to like to be able to
51:28
rehab to a point where I wore a knee brace and I finished the
51:33
culminating event and still faster than half the guys.
51:37
Wow, so that's amazing. So, and to me, I don't, I don't
51:46
say that to like brag about myself.
51:47
I really speak about it to people like it's a testament to
51:53
what you can do when you believe you can do something.
51:56
So. Right.
51:58
Well, and it doesn't sound like you had much doubts about your
52:01
abilities, which is always the first step, believing in
52:06
yourself, right? So you become an instructor
52:10
trainer. How does that go?
52:12
Yeah, so I become an instructor trainer and I'm, I'm like super
52:16
excited about this role 'cause I'm like, I was a kinesiology
52:19
major and this is all, you know, teach.
52:21
I'll be teaching Marines. It's like a new program for the
52:24
Marine Corps where they're actually teaching Marines like
52:26
anatomy, Physiology, bio, mechanics, proper, just the
52:32
proper way to actually warm up, the proper way to take care of
52:36
your body. And so I was really excited
52:40
about it. But as I'm there, I'm being
52:46
treated differently. And at first I thought it was
52:50
because I was a new instructor there.
52:55
But as more new instructors came, I started to realize it
53:00
was just me still. And so I was like, OK, this guy
53:04
is, it was one guy specifically, I'm not going to say his name,
53:07
but he was like after me for some reason.
53:14
And it would didn't matter, no matter how much I pushed myself
53:18
physically, he still found a reason to, to say why I did
53:24
something wrong. And so he continually was doing
53:29
that. And after a while I started
53:31
realizing he started doing that to other females too.
53:34
We got more female, a couple more female instructors and we
53:38
had female students. And he originally he was just on
53:43
the martial arts side where he, he had, he had four red tabs,
53:48
which was 4 red tabs means for those of you that don't know,
53:52
it's like a fourth degree instructor trainer.
53:59
And so you're actually, you actually make the instructors at
54:03
that point, but you're the 4th degree black belt type of thing.
54:07
So they kind of looked at him like he was God and he would he
54:14
would talk bad about me to the command, like saying that I I
54:18
was a bad instructor and I couldn't do this and I couldn't
54:20
do that right. And so there was a lot of things
54:23
like it. It was like he changed the
54:24
perception of people at the command about me.
54:28
Wow. And I started to talk to a
54:32
therapist while I was there. This was my first time reaching
54:35
out to the therapist because of what was going on at work.
54:39
And luckily this therapist I found was actually a prior
54:43
Marine. He had been in for 20 years and
54:46
retired. And he was like you're by this
54:49
time I had picked up pinned on Gunny me and that the guy that
54:53
had been picking on me both picked up Gunny around the same
54:57
time. And so he's just, he just has
55:05
this thing and he ends up, I started sticking up for myself
55:11
more and other females and I was like fighting back type of thing
55:17
because we're the same rank. And I was like, I just, you're
55:20
not going to talk to me in that way 'cause the way he was
55:22
talking to me was just very condescending.
55:26
And I was like, you're not going to talk to me like that.
55:28
Like if, if you have some something to criticize, you can,
55:32
you can give me like constructive criticism.
55:34
It doesn't have to be the way that you're doing it.
55:38
Right. And he didn't, because he didn't
55:40
do that to the male instructors, like any of the new male
55:43
instructors, he wasn't doing it. So I was just like, OK, there
55:49
was something to do with females.
55:50
And I think after a little while I was, I was like, I'm not going
55:53
to report him to the EO because I, I think I can handle it in
55:57
house. But then he ends up he ends up
56:02
reporting me to the EO saying that I've been harassing him.
56:07
Yeah. And this is crazy because he
56:09
ends up getting the guys. And I thought these guys were my
56:13
friends to corroborate his story that I'm harassing him.
56:19
But the females, it was like me and two other female instructors
56:22
that had more of the same story. And so I end up talking.
56:27
They they end up saying that they sided with him.
56:32
They did like an investigation. They they want they gave me like
56:35
a 61 O 5 and I was just like, wow, like this is so crazy how
56:40
this can just be turned around on me like that, like something
56:44
like that had never happened in my whole career.
56:46
You know, I was actually respected at most of my units
56:49
because of because of my abilities, but this was the
56:55
first time it just didn't work. So there was a lot, there was a
57:00
lot that happened at this unit 'cause this is my last unit and
57:06
I was in a relationship at the time My boyfriend moved out to
57:10
Virginia with me. I ended up finding out that I
57:13
was pregnant for the first time. And I was like, well, I'm, I was
57:17
36 years old and I was like, I've never been pregnant before.
57:21
So this must you know, let let let's have the baby.
57:26
So but I was worried of what would happen when I tell, told
57:29
my command, you know, that I was going to have a baby.
57:33
And so I ended up making my way up.
57:36
Even though I had all these issues with this guy, I was
57:38
still making my way up to like lead instructor.
57:42
Then I became the chief instructor one for one cycle of
57:46
the courses, but I got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant
57:51
during that cycle that I was the chief instructor.
57:53
And once I told them that I was the chief instructor, you know,
57:57
they ended up taking me out of the position and just making me
58:02
a regular instructor. And so I just felt like things
58:06
got worse between me and the guy.
58:09
There was that whole investigation and that they
58:11
found me guilty of. And I was just like, you know
58:13
what? I just want to, I just want to
58:15
transfer. I ended up talking to the
58:17
Sergeant major and I was like, can I just transfer over to the
58:20
TBS? Because I'm just like tired of
58:22
all of this. And the Sergeant major ends up
58:25
like, why didn't you just tell me about this situation?
58:28
Like I could have probably tried to help out ahead of time before
58:31
it got to this. And I was like, well, I was just
58:33
trying to handle it myself, you know, Because they even look
58:39
down upon people that like report things, you know, you
58:43
just, I don't know, it's just it's a pretty toxic environment
58:50
at times, so. So what happened to then?
58:55
So basically the Sergeant major was like, yeah, he's like, I
58:58
didn't end up, I'm saying this on here because he's I think
59:03
he's out anyway now he's like retired.
59:05
But the surgeon major ended up, well, he was like, I'm not going
59:09
to submit your 61 O 5. It's just going to be in my
59:12
desk. So he never ended up running it
59:15
into my record. And he was like, I'll bring you
59:20
over to TBSI, just ended up going to CBS while while I was
59:23
pregnant, I switched over to CBS to be like a testing.
59:27
I was like helping with testing for the lieutenants.
59:30
So it was a very chill job that they put me into just so I can,
59:36
you know, go through my pregnancy and have the baby.
59:39
But at this point, just being the fact that I was going to
59:45
have a baby and the what had happened to me at this unit, I
59:51
feel like it all played a part in me deciding to get out.
59:54
So I was like, OK, I have a year and a half left and I'll just
59:58
get out after. So that was 14 years at my 14
1:00:04
year mark. Basically ended up getting out
1:00:06
of the Marine Corps 'cause I did my pregnancy.
1:00:12
Oh, while I was pregnant and had the baby I became.
1:00:17
Part of that group that cause at first I think it was just three
1:00:24
months off for females and then you have to come back to work.
1:00:28
But I was in that group like I was right at the cut off to
1:00:32
where I could, I could be in that group where they added a
1:00:35
couple more months. So I was able to, yeah, they
1:00:38
added a couple more months. So I had five months off after
1:00:42
having my baby. That's impressive.
1:00:47
That's really impressive. So you're looking to separate
1:00:53
out and were you provided any resources from the Marine Corps
1:01:04
on integrating back into civilian life?
1:01:08
So they do TRS, but to me, it's a very poor way of integrating
1:01:15
people back into civilian life. So you kind of got to figure it
1:01:19
out on your own. TRS just kind of helps you, like
1:01:22
they'll help you write a resume, they'll help, they'll talk to
1:01:26
you about what you should do in your appointments to get your
1:01:29
disability claim and stuff like that.
1:01:33
But as far as like reintegrating back into civilian life, like no
1:01:36
one talks about that, that identity shift that you're going
1:01:43
to have to make. Right.
1:01:46
And did you have a job already lined up or your job was mother?
1:01:50
Yeah, I didn't have a job lined up.
1:01:52
The crazy thing is, is I had built some businesses with my
1:01:58
ex-husband while we were at that duty station.
1:02:00
We bought some houses. We started putting them on
1:02:03
Airbnb and we also had French Bulldogs and we were breeding
1:02:10
them and we were able to make some decent amount of money off
1:02:13
off of that. But there was a lot.
1:02:18
There was so much that happened at that last duty station.
1:02:20
And it wasn't just work. It was like, I didn't realize at
1:02:24
the time I was also in a toxic relationship, Toxic
1:02:27
relationship, toxic command. I had talked to a therapist only
1:02:31
about the stuff that was really going on at work because for me
1:02:36
that was like my biggest thing, like I being a Marine was my
1:02:39
life at that point. So I eventually started talking
1:02:46
to that same therapist again after I had my baby and was
1:02:53
starting to tell him some stuff about my relationship, stuff
1:02:56
that was going on. And he actually got me to see I
1:03:00
didn't. I was convincing myself at first
1:03:03
that this was a good relationship.
1:03:05
You know, I was convincing myself that we were this power
1:03:08
couple. We are building businesses.
1:03:11
I'm going to be fine once I get out because of the businesses.
1:03:15
But I realized that it was an unhealthy relationship.
1:03:19
I also had a miscarriage of our second.
1:03:21
It would have been our second child.
1:03:24
And it just like hit me after the miscarriage was really just
1:03:28
like, I kind of like awakened to like, OK, like I need to leave
1:03:31
this situation. So I ended up leaving the Marine
1:03:35
Corps and the relationship at the same time.
1:03:39
Wow, talk about cleaning slates. Yeah.
1:03:43
Goodness. So all right, you're you're now
1:03:48
out of the Marine Corps. You're single with a baby.
1:03:54
Yeah, with a baby. And and you don't have the
1:03:58
resources from the military. Yeah.
1:04:04
They're gonna get you what you need.
1:04:08
I will say that I did like what they told me.
1:04:11
I feel like what they told me for my disability claim, I
1:04:15
actually did help me to get my 100, my 100% disability.
1:04:23
So I will say that they that helped that one class with that
1:04:27
specific guy. I don't know if that guy, you
1:04:29
know that saying, I don't know if they say the same stuff
1:04:31
everywhere around the Marine Corps, but he was basically
1:04:34
telling us like if you have issues like don't go in like
1:04:38
you're completely fine. You have to act as if you have
1:04:41
that issue right now because I had had back issues that would
1:04:47
occasionally like I, it would be hard for me to like walk.
1:04:51
But then once I was completely once I was like normal.
1:04:55
It took a lot of like foam rolling and stretching for me to
1:04:58
get my back right, right. And it would take like a week or
1:05:01
two. But they were like, you need to
1:05:05
go in as if like your back is injured because it is like it,
1:05:10
it has these times like every year I'd probably have like 3 or
1:05:13
4 times where it would just go out.
1:05:16
And so there was a lot of things I was able to, I was able to
1:05:21
claim, especially with the martial arts and the joints and
1:05:26
stuff like that. So I do think they prepared me a
1:05:28
lot better than I think they've prepared others in the past to
1:05:34
get that 100% disability. And that helped, yeah.
1:05:40
So where are you at today with your with your life?
1:05:44
What are you doing today? So now I actually, I'm in a
1:05:51
master's program. It's a master's in consciousness
1:05:56
psychology and transformational leadership.
1:05:59
And the reason why I chose this degree was because I actually
1:06:03
started to kind of unravel all the things that had happened to
1:06:07
me in my last unit, in my last relationship.
1:06:10
And it was it was just such AI felt like it was such a dark
1:06:14
night of the soul having to leave all that, all that.
1:06:20
And like, who am I now? I had lost myself.
1:06:24
Yeah, exactly. I had lost myself in the
1:06:26
relationship. I didn't know who I was, what I
1:06:31
was like, what am I? What am I doing here?
1:06:34
So I had to really find myself, ask myself the right questions,
1:06:38
like how did I get myself in this situation?
1:06:41
And I started to realize that a lot of my subconscious patterns
1:06:48
from childhood followed me as an adult.
1:06:52
And I didn't know that, you know, just ways that I reacted
1:06:58
to things. And even getting into certain
1:07:01
relationships, even joining the Marine Corps was all like,
1:07:04
because our nervous system doesn't attract what's healthy,
1:07:10
it attracts what's familiar. And so I started learning all
1:07:14
these things about the nervous system, how it actually really
1:07:17
works. And I started becoming more
1:07:20
aware of my own subconscious patterns.
1:07:23
And I was able to start to rewire these patterns and I
1:07:31
would say that I've, I've come into more of a secure attachment
1:07:35
instead of I found out that I was, you know, an anxious
1:07:38
attachment style. And so that usually attracts the
1:07:41
avoidant attachment styles. And some, in some cases, you,
1:07:46
you can call them narcissists, but I just, I refrain now, I
1:07:50
refrain from labeling people just because I realized when you
1:07:53
start to label people and things like your brain will, your brain
1:07:57
will actually perpetuate it. And so when you stay away from
1:08:04
labeling things and actually get more into your own power and
1:08:08
start to change your own inner, it's basically what's happening
1:08:13
on the inside of your body. You can feel like the anxiety in
1:08:17
your chest or everybody is different in how they feel
1:08:20
things, but it's about getting more connected with your body
1:08:25
and how you feel certain things to be able to actually figure
1:08:32
out like how to navigate life, if that makes sense.
1:08:37
And So what I do now is I actually teach people how, how
1:08:41
to rewire and you're basically rewiring into the, it's not
1:08:46
necessarily a new identity, it's shedding the layers of identity
1:08:53
that was conditioned into you, whether it was childhood
1:08:56
military, because they, they program you in the military for
1:08:59
sure going through boot camp and all of that, like as a
1:09:02
programming. And so to get once you're out,
1:09:08
it's like most people are hyper, hyper vigilant.
1:09:11
I was definitely hyper vigilant, but but I learned to rewire out
1:09:17
of the hyper vigilant state, learn how to trust myself and
1:09:22
life a lot more. And then I started having
1:09:26
different experiences. So the sciences are showing it.
1:09:32
A lot of people are more people, more and more people are
1:09:36
starting to experience it now. And so I've actually written a
1:09:39
book. I wrote a book last year, but it
1:09:43
was just my memoir. But the this book is basically
1:09:47
going to be my flagship book for this program where it's called
1:09:53
I've Got Me. And it's like learning how to
1:09:59
regulate your nervous system and basically coming home to
1:10:04
yourself. Wow, and when does this book
1:10:08
come to fruition? When is it out for the public
1:10:11
masses? So I, I just literally actually
1:10:14
just finished it, finished the final round of things as I
1:10:19
before we got on this podcast. And so I plan to actually get
1:10:23
the cover and everything done next week, get it formatted, and
1:10:26
have it for pre-order within the next week or two.
1:10:30
That's amazing. Congratulations.
1:10:33
Now, and this is all part of the identity recode for veterans.
1:10:37
Yes. And so the identity recode for
1:10:40
veterans is the actual program I have where it's a transformative
1:10:46
program to be able to you come home to yourself to where you're
1:10:52
so securely attached to yourself that it doesn't matter after
1:10:57
this what you do like most people will become attached to
1:11:00
their achievements, whether it's degrees, you know, where you
1:11:04
work, all of these different things they become attached to.
1:11:08
And with this program, you actually become so securely
1:11:11
attached to yourself that nothing like like nothing else
1:11:15
matters. And you start to, you know, and
1:11:19
it does. I feel like it has brought my
1:11:22
purpose out more the more I shed that was not truly myself.
1:11:29
Because a lot of these patterns are not.
1:11:30
They're not who we are. They're just adaptations that
1:11:33
our nervous system created because we lacked connection
1:11:36
growing up. Right.
1:11:39
And so it was just things that our nervous system reacted to
1:11:46
and we can actually, we can change those things about us.
1:11:50
Our true essence is is, you know, our personality where it's
1:11:55
the kind, the the loving part of us, the compassionate part of
1:12:01
us. A lot of us grew up, I feel like
1:12:04
especially member military members and Marines in general,
1:12:08
we grew up with a lot of like beating ourselves up.
1:12:13
And so that's through our childhood and even in, you know,
1:12:20
through the Marine Corps, they, they don't make it any better
1:12:23
because you have to be perfect. You know, it's, it's just this
1:12:26
perfectionist mindset not messing up.
1:12:30
And you, you start to beat yourself up a lot while you're
1:12:33
especially while you're in the Marine Corps.
1:12:35
And that's how you. Doubt.
1:12:39
Yeah, Yeah. I think it's absolutely amazing.
1:12:44
And so the identity recode for veterans, is that a nonprofit?
1:12:50
So right now it's is for profit, but I do, I work for a nonprofit
1:12:55
called the Fallen Outdoors and I do host like bonfires, hikes and
1:13:01
kayaking events for for military members.
1:13:06
Any veteran that's in San Diego, I have that group and I have
1:13:11
like a WhatsApp group. And so I post things on there
1:13:13
all the time about events, other events that are going on in San
1:13:17
Diego for veterans. And I, I have the nonprofit to
1:13:21
pay for like the kayaking events and stuff like that.
1:13:26
And so I do plan to start hosting retreats too.
1:13:30
And so I was talking with a nonprofit about possibly
1:13:32
fundraising to be able to get people to go through the
1:13:38
retreats for free because the retreat will be, you know, the
1:13:42
Identity Recode retreat. And it'll be a transformative
1:13:46
experience to where you'll learn all the tools that you need to
1:13:49
to like go forward. Nice, very nice.
1:13:55
So for those out in the chats, if you have some questions for
1:13:59
Sonia, go ahead and put them in. I have one from G23 and the
1:14:05
question is if she could go back to anywhere she was stationed or
1:14:09
visited and take her family and friends, where would it be and
1:14:13
why? That's a great question.
1:14:17
Yeah, that is a great question. I think I feel like my favorite,
1:14:33
that is a hard question. I guess when it if you want to
1:14:39
talk about being able to show people things, then I would say
1:14:44
maybe the the duty station in Virginia because it was it's, it
1:14:51
has a lot of history there. And so there's definitely a lot
1:14:57
of good things to be able to show people there on Quantico
1:15:02
'cause you have like the OCS, the TBS, the that's all the
1:15:08
officer training. For those that don't know what
1:15:10
that is, the officer training is there.
1:15:12
Then they have the martial arts history there.
1:15:16
And so I think there's a lot of cool things to see there.
1:15:20
That's amazing. Yeah.
1:15:22
I would love to see it, love to see Quantico.
1:15:25
Our our oldest Marine veteran was stationed in Virginia as an
1:15:32
instructor as well. Not Quantico, but yeah, so and
1:15:39
even just the history, the buildings, the architecture,
1:15:43
right? I think those are some amazing
1:15:46
things to see. And it's definitely on my bucket
1:15:50
list of things to do. So tell me, if you could give
1:15:57
advice to anybody who's considering joining the
1:16:03
military, any branch, doesn't matter.
1:16:09
What words of wisdom would you provide them?
1:16:15
Anybody. I think I would say that you are
1:16:20
more powerful than you know you can all you are also, you know,
1:16:26
more capable of things than you know you are.
1:16:30
And so I really would would like to just say like belief plays a
1:16:35
big part, like believing in yourself and knowing that you
1:16:39
could do certain things. That would be my biggest like
1:16:43
advice. Trust in yourself.
1:16:47
Yeah, trust in yourself and believe in yourself and life
1:16:52
will take care of you. Yeah, I think that those are
1:16:55
some key things because a lot of times it's that self doubt,
1:16:59
especially if you've never been pushed, Yeah.
1:17:03
Yeah. I want to say thank you very
1:17:07
much for taking the time to come on.
1:17:09
And do you have any final words, anything else that you want to
1:17:14
add before we wrap up? So I do have, I guess I have my
1:17:20
website with if anybody wanted to like contact for anything
1:17:25
like the free events that I have here in San Diego.
1:17:30
What's the What's the website? It's Sonia achara.com and that
1:17:36
even even the website has like a way to contact me, like schedule
1:17:42
a call in my calendar for, for anything, you know, whether it's
1:17:46
like collaboration or anything. I'd I like to do free.
1:17:50
I like to do, even though my website says I charge for
1:17:54
keynote talks or something. I actually like to do free talks
1:17:58
for like veterans, first responders and stuff like that.
1:18:02
When it comes to my identity recode master class.
1:18:06
So I also do my identity recode master class once a month for
1:18:11
free. Also for anybody that would want
1:18:14
to learn more about you know, the attachment styles and how to
1:18:18
rewire from survival attachment into secure attachment, so.
1:18:24
Wow. So what I'm sharing is Sonia's
1:18:28
website againsoniaachara.com. You can go out, take a look and
1:18:34
you know, this is, to me, I think it's pretty impressive, 14
1:18:37
years as a Marine and the olive, you know, being the instructor,
1:18:45
being for multiple things, right?
1:18:49
I, I just think it's incredible. And I'm really excited to see
1:18:55
where you go and you know, where you're at in say, five years
1:19:00
from now with all of this. And we're all wishing you good
1:19:06
thoughts and, and the best of luck.
1:19:08
So I'm sure we'll be staying in touch.
1:19:14
So for anybody interested, feel free go check out Sonia
1:19:18
achara.com. And then when you get that book
1:19:22
out there and it is published and for the purchase, you just
1:19:26
let me know and we'll get it put out for anyone interested to to
1:19:30
go ahead and get it purchased. So I want to thank you again.
1:19:36
Appreciate you very much for being here and if you want to
1:19:42
hold tight for me, I'm going to go ahead and get things wrapped
1:19:45
up. For everyone else, if you
1:19:48
haven't already, please be sure to hit the subscribe button and
1:19:53
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1:19:56
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1:20:07
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1:20:10
everyone. One of you join me again please
1:20:13
next Sunday at 6:00 PM Central Time when we have our next
1:20:19
guest. So thank you all.
1:20:21
Everybody have a wonderful rest of your week.
1:20:25
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