Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #507 Rewards in Reverse
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
- 0:07Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers. Now, Hello, this is
- 0:11Speaker 1: doctor Justin Coilson. I'm flying solid today. You can probably
- 0:13Speaker 1: hear it in my voice. I'm not quite sounding the
- 0:15Speaker 1: way that I normally do. As it happens in that
- 0:19Speaker 1: thing called COVID, that global pandemic, that thing that's been
- 0:21Speaker 1: affecting everyone. Well, it's finally got me. I've had my
- 0:24Speaker 1: three shots, I've been boosted, but finally, somewhere, somehow, I've
- 0:28Speaker 1: picked it up along the way. And it's kind of
- 0:31Speaker 1: just I know that some people reflected really badly by it.
- 0:33Speaker 1: Some people are completely asymptomatic. They don't even know that
- 0:35Speaker 1: they've got it other than the fact that they did
- 0:37Speaker 1: a test and oh look what I've got. In my case,
- 0:40Speaker 1: you can kind of just hear that little bit of
- 0:42Speaker 1: throatyness that I've got. I might be a little bit
- 0:43Speaker 1: flatter than normal, slight sniffle, but it's kind of like
- 0:47Speaker 1: a really mild version of man flu for me. Man
- 0:51Speaker 1: flu knocks me out, it puts me on my back
- 0:53Speaker 1: for days. COVID hasn't done that. It's just slowed me
- 0:56Speaker 1: down a little bit and made me, i don't know,
- 0:59Speaker 1: struggle a little bit compared to my normal level of health.
- 1:03Speaker 1: But in spite of that, I wanted to share a
- 1:05Speaker 1: podcast with you today, just a brief one, to emphasize
- 1:09Speaker 1: our upcoming webinar tonight. If you are a Happy Family's member,
- 1:14Speaker 1: this is included in your membership. You don't even have
- 1:16Speaker 1: to pay for It's already included in what you've paid
- 1:18Speaker 1: for already. And this is possibly one of the most
- 1:20Speaker 1: anticipated webinars that I've done this year. There has been
- 1:23Speaker 1: so much interest in it. If you're not a Happy
- 1:25Speaker 1: Family's member and you're hearing about it for the first time,
- 1:28Speaker 1: just jump online to Happy Families dot com, dot you
- 1:30Speaker 1: or go to my Facebook page doctor Justin Colson's Happy
- 1:32Speaker 1: Families and you'll see the info for Carrots and Sticks,
- 1:37Speaker 1: a webinar about punishment, reward, time out, praise, and all
- 1:45Speaker 1: of these other things that parents usually do to manage
- 1:47Speaker 1: their children's behavior better. Tonight's webinar is really about this
- 1:52Speaker 1: idea that punishments and rewards are the lowest form of
- 1:55Speaker 1: education and if we want to help our kids to thrive,
- 1:59Speaker 1: to flourish, and to do great stuff because it's the
- 2:03Speaker 1: right thing to do, and not because we're forcing them
- 2:05Speaker 1: to do it. We need to get away from the
- 2:08Speaker 1: reward chart. We need to get away from the threats
- 2:10Speaker 1: and bribes and actually just help our children to be awesome,
- 2:13Speaker 1: because they kind of are. There's a whole lot of
- 2:17Speaker 1: history that we're going to go through in terms of
- 2:19Speaker 1: why we parent the way that we do, what's been
- 2:21Speaker 1: taught to us, what our parents did to us, what
- 2:24Speaker 1: their parents did then, what their parents did to our grandparents,
- 2:27Speaker 1: and so on. I've been digging through the archives and
- 2:30Speaker 1: finding a whole lot of really fascinating stuff about why
- 2:33Speaker 1: carrots and sticks are just so popular. We're going to
- 2:38Speaker 1: talk about punishment and how that creates a whole lot
- 2:41Speaker 1: of problems, why we do it, and we're going to
- 2:43Speaker 1: talk about rewards and why, interestingly that also can create
- 2:47Speaker 1: a whole lot of problems, but why we consistently do it,
- 2:50Speaker 1: And then we'll move on to what I call the
- 2:52Speaker 1: motivation continuum. We're going to look at how we can
- 2:55Speaker 1: help our kids rather than hurt them, how we can
- 2:58Speaker 1: guide them rather than bribe them. We will also be
- 3:01Speaker 1: talking about time out, the research evidence that supports it,
- 3:05Speaker 1: and the problems with time out in spite of the
- 3:07Speaker 1: research that supports it. So I'm excited, very very excited
- 3:11Speaker 1: to share this one with you. I think that it's
- 3:12Speaker 1: going to blow your mind. If you're not already signed
- 3:15Speaker 1: up for it, please join me tonight for Carrots and Sticks.
- 3:19Speaker 1: All the information you need is at Happy families dot
- 3:22Speaker 1: com dot a U. Now. I'd love to tell you
- 3:24Speaker 1: more about it. Believe me, there will be solutions galore,
- 3:27Speaker 1: But in the interest of preserving my voice and making
- 3:30Speaker 1: sure that I can actually get through the night and
- 3:32Speaker 1: rubbing the vix on so that I don't even sound
- 3:33Speaker 1: sniffly or anything like that, tonight, I want to make
- 3:36Speaker 1: sure that I rest up. So I hope you have
- 3:38Speaker 1: a great day. I hope you get through the day
- 3:39Speaker 1: without relying on punishments and rewards with your kids. And
- 3:42Speaker 1: I hope that you can join me tonight for Carrots
- 3:45Speaker 1: and Sticks the webinar as we talk about how rewards
- 3:49Speaker 1: seem to not work or work in reverse, do exactly
- 3:51Speaker 1: the opposite, and punishment's the same. It's going to be
- 3:54Speaker 1: a great night. I'll look forward to seeing you then.
- 3:56Speaker 1: In the meantime, as always, the Happy Families podcast is
- 3:59Speaker 1: produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media with Craig Bruces,
- 4:01Speaker 1: our executive producer, and if you would like more info
- 4:03Speaker 1: about making your family happier, join us for the webinar tonight,
- 4:06Speaker 1: check out our Happy Families memberships, or just visit happy
- 4:08Speaker 1: families dot com dot a. You get curious, not furious,
- 4:16Speaker 1: be we Your feeder mistakes lead to mastery. High emotions,
- 4:21Speaker 1: low intelligence. Have you ever heard these or any of
- 4:24Speaker 1: the other principles I share and thought I need to
- 4:26Speaker 1: stick that on my wall? Well now you can. The
- 4:28Speaker 1: Happy Family team has pulled out the best justinisms for
- 4:31Speaker 1: a five mini posters perfect fear, home or even the classroom,
- 4:35Speaker 1: and easy to grab at Happy families dot com dot a.
- 4:37Speaker 1: You