Latest / The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler / How to Completely Reset Your Life in One Afternoon

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How to Completely Reset Your Life in One Afternoon · The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler

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Speaker: Have you ever looked around your house and thought, "How did
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everything get this out of control?"
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Now, the dishes aren't really the problem.
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The laundry isn't really the problem.
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The overflowing inbox, the forgotten appointments, the
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constant feeling like you're behind, these aren't the real problem.
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I know that when my life starts to feel chaotic, my instinct is generally the
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same; clean the kitchen, reorganize the pantry, buy another planner, make an
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enormous list of every project that I've been avoiding for the last six months.
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But I've learned something Working harder doesn't get me
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back on track most of the time.
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What I need before I work harder is to stop and make a few simple decisions
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so that I actually get the right things done instead of simply piling on the busy
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There are four key decisions that I have to make to make sure that we're
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getting the right things on track, the things that will affect every normal day.
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What makes a normal day?
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Those are the key decisions that we're going to make, four key decisions, that
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if you put them into place you can reset
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In about two focused hours, less for me now because I'm practiced at this
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routine, I can answer these questions on paper, even on index cards, and build
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a simple framework for the life that I am living and that I should be living.
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No weekend whole house reset, no massive decluttering necessary, and definitely
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no getting caught up, whatever that means Just a handful of decisions that
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make real life feel dramatically easier.
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In this episode, I'm going to walk you through the four systems
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that I reset every time life starts to feel overwhelming
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or even just when life changes
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These two hours save me dozens more in the weeks that follow
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Hi, I'm Misty Winkler, and you've found the Christian homemaking
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podcast, Simply Convivial.
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I'm a mom, homemaker, homeschool mom.
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I'm a homeschool mom, homemaker, and author of the book Simplified
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Organization: Learn to Love What Must be Done, and also, Home is for Hospitality:
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Why Your Home and Homemaking Matter
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And I know that you look around your house and think that everything is terrible,
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no good, needs to be redone, reorganized right now before school starts again.
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I know that when I start to feel that way, I want maybe a few
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silent hours away, an empty house.
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I want to clear out every closet and reorganize them
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with matching bins and labels.
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I maybe need a whole personality change for this home to function properly.
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I start to overcomplicate things, and I bet you do too The most useful
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home reset is not to spend hours cleaning and organizing everything,
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as if that was going to happen, or even spending hours trying to get
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to that mythical caught up stage.
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The real useful reset that we need, especially as seasons
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change, is thought work.
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Paperwork really, but intentional paperwork.
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Not filling in somebody else's blanks, but thinking through your week and
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pre-making some key decisions that will make everything roll out more smoothly.
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You wanna sit down with your calendar, a notebook
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and probably a good cup of coffee.
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And then make some key decisions that maybe you've been postponing, maybe
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you've never made ahead of time before, but some key decisions that then
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you will regularly follow through on
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not because you've engineered the perfect routine, but because you've
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set enough of a basic structure that recurring unresolved questions can stop
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draining your attention every day Now, I have managed a home, homeschooled
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five kids, written books, run a business through many different seasons.
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And the routines that are working for my life now are not the same
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ones as those that I had when I had five young children at home.
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The structure has to change when life changes, and we each have to
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adapt and evolve a home routine that works for our current season
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and each of our current realities.
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You can't just copy and paste someone else's plan or routine
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or system into your own life.
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You have to actually stop and think and pray and write things down for your own
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life And here are four areas that you can think through, write a plan through,
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and walk away with a routine structure
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that will help you calmly manage your real life as this new season unfolds
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the four key areas, the four areas that you are gonna make some key decisions
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in are your calendar and time budget, your morning and evening routines, your
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personal habits, and a meal strategy,
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which is totally different from a meal plan, and we'll get to that one last.
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I'm also going to be teaching a live class walking you through this process
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live together bit by bit, answering questions along the way so that you
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will come out with, in 90 minutes with a full plan to go into the school year
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with your basic structure in place The details are linked below, or you can go
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right now to simplyconvivial.com/reset.
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That's simplyconvivial.com/reset
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to join me for that
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For now, let's start with the most important organization piece that you
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can set up, and that is your calendar.
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And then a time budget is not a schedule, but it is a way to
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thoughtfully manage our time.
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So the first thing we're going to reset is our calendar.
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Your routines of any kind cannot fit into time that has already
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been promised somewhere else.
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Sometimes we think that if we just have the right planner or make the
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right list, then everything will magically fit into time, as if time is
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a ever-expanding resource that we have.
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But time is very limited.
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We have to manage it thoughtfully and intentionally, or else the
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important things will not have room.
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They will not fit.
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So we have to put first things first when it comes to our calendar
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Now, I have a previous episode all about the five rules of managing your
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calendar well and keeping it accurate and up to date as your most important
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organization tool, and I'll link that at the end or in the show notes.
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But for now, what we wanna do is look at our calendars and make sure that for
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the next month or two at a bare minimum, every time-bound obligation, every
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appointment, every class, everything where we have to be somewhere doing something
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at a particular time, at a particular place, needs to be on the calendar.
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You wanna get that entirely up to date.
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This will give you the real framework that you are working in with your home
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Then around those actual appointments that you have on the calendar,
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you wanna create a time budget.
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I have a free time budget template that you can grab in the description
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below but my time budget, I just make on Google Calendar.
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I use Google Calendar for my master calendar, where everything goes on.
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This makes it easy to share with my kids and my husband, and
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for them to share it with me.
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And then I create a second calendar in a different color that's not always
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turned on that is called time budget, and this is where I build in the basic
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blocks of work that needs to happen, or responsibilities that need to happen.
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If I want to be reading every day, that goes in a block on my time budget.
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If I need to go grocery shopping once a week, that actually needs to go in
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the time budget, along with enough time built in to put those groceries away.
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We can't do everything that we would like to do, and a time budget, just
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like a money budget, is a way to be honest with ourselves about where we
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want our time to be going and what actually fits in our days and our weeks.
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Now, a time budget looks at a week as a whole, 168 hours, which is
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a very reasonable amount of time.
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You can't do everything every day, but over the course
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of a week, what can you do?
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Maybe reading is something that's important to you, but you
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really can't manage it every day.
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Maybe it could happen two or three times a week, but then the other
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day, a grocery shopping trip or a kid activity has to happen in that block.
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That's totally okay, and a time budget allows you to make
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those kind of judgment calls.
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And it's not a schedule.
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It's not like you have to on the dot switch to the next thing, but
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rather you're thinking of your time in more chunks, like a school
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block, not scheduling out every 15 minutes and thinking that you're
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gonna change as the clock chimes.
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But rather, what have you planned to do?
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How much do you estimate that will take?
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And then have you over-planned for the number of hours you actually have?
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Have you planned so much schoolwork that you're going to be doing
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school from 9:00 to 4:00 every day, and is that really what you want?
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You have to make some hard decisions, and a time budget helps you think in a
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big picture about what you are actually prioritizing, what really needs to
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happen, and you make some of those give and take decisions The time budget
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takes some time to think through and work through, but it pays dividends in
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making some decisions upfront about what actually fits and what you're trying for.
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So that is your calendar and time budget.
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The first thing that you want to reset.
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The second thing is your morning and evening routines.
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Now, what I recommend for morning and evening routines
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is to have 15 minutes for each.
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You are not gonna try to get all the housework done before 10:00 AM
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or have everything put together in the evening before you go to bed.
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Those are ideals.
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And as homeschooling moms with busy families and busy lives, we are not
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trying to achieve the ideal every day
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We want instead to commit to a bare minimum that is a bare
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minimum that makes a difference.
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The kind of bare minimum that becomes an anchor point where we actually can
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build on top of it as we go along.
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Because we're not continually shooting for an ideal and always falling short and
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feeling bad, we're actually getting to the most important tasks, and so everything
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else is gravy and feels great because we're doing more than we set out to do
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And even if we don't, the things that we have done are the things
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that make the biggest difference.
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So the way that you come up with the items that make the biggest difference,
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'cause it's not gonna be immediately obvious, make a list of all the chores
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that you think should be done in the morning and all the chores that you
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think should be done in the evening.
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Go with that ideal.
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List it all out Give a time estimate for each one of those.
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Then your morning and evening routine can each be only 15 minutes.
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One way to keep your morning and evening routine 15 minutes or less is to choose,
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say is to not put down clean the kitchen as your evening chore, but rather say,
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"Spend 10 minutes cleaning the kitchen."
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Because if you go into the kitchen knowing you're only gonna clean it for
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10 minutes, you will do the things that will make the biggest difference first.
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You won't get sidetracked or distracted in going all after one corner, but
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you'll do the big things first.
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You'll get the main strokes done, and if you get those done consistently-
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Disorder doesn't spread.
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You're maintaining a basic base level tidiness that allows you to work from
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a place of order instead of chaos, and gradually that minimum will get you
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farther and farther because you're always resetting to that minimum day after day.
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It's never so much that you think, "Ah, I just don't have time for it."
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You say, "It's 15 minutes," and it is going to be such an incredible help
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that it is worth that 15 minutes, and you'll be committed to it as
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soon as you start to see it build.
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So set a 15-minute morning routine and a 15-minute evening routine.
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What goes into those 15 minutes is gonna be different for every family, and even
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for the family, it's gonna be different during different seasons, especially
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depending on what kind of morning or after dinner chores your kids are doing.
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You wanna fill in with your own 15 minutes the tasks that are going to
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help you reset the space for usefulness, for functionality at the end, at the
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beginning, or at the end of the day
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And then on your list or on your index card, you're just gonna write out.
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Probably it's gonna be no more than three items on each of those lists.
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My morning routine is five minutes in my bedroom.
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I start with making my bed, and then I spend the rest of the
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five minutes cleaning up whatever catches my eye or needs to be done.
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Five minutes of a general house EHAP, and then I start a load of laundry
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That's my morning routine That can be done no matter how little time I have
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in the morning, and it makes a huge difference in how the home functions.
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And then my evening routine is to get the dishwasher started.
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The kids clear the table, load the dishwasher.
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I help put food away, and then I make sure that the dishwasher has everything
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that could fit in it and put in properly, and then I start the dishwasher.
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I make sure that the table is clear and actually clean, so
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it's set to go in the morning.
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And then I give the floor a quick wipe.
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Notâ¦
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It's not a full mop most of the time.
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It's just getting a cloth damp with, maybe with a little cleaner, maybe not, and
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usually just using my foot, 'cause our kitchen is really small right now, and
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I can just foot mop it in a few minutes
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So that's your basic morning and evening routine.
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If you make those decisions, you get that in place, then you have
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your bare minimum home routine that will help keep everything running
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so after you have your morning and your evening routine figured out,
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at least on paper, of course you'll try it out and iterate it as you go
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along, but having thought about it and come up with a great starting
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point is going to get you way ahead.
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Then you have two left.
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The next one is your personal habits.
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But don't forget, the last one is kind of the most important
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one, that meal strategy.
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So stay tuned
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You don't wanna forget your personal habits, your Bible reading, prayer
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time, and time to read yourself and time to read real books
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Having these personal habits in place will make a huge difference
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when it comes to your mental and emotional ability to handle real life.
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And these are the things that tend to be neglected, and these are the things that
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we tend to neglect when time feels short.
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It is just a feeling because probably if you looked at your screen time, you would
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see that you have plenty of spare time.
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You're just not using it properly.
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So you want to have places in your day, anchors in your day for these personal
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habits so that your screen time gets short-changed rather than your soul
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It's a great idea to have a plan A and a plan B when it comes to Bible
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reading, prayer time, and reading books.
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Because days go haywire, and we are needed at different times for different
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things in ways we can't predict as moms.
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So while we do want to have an ideal spot, you know, a first thing spot in
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our day for it, we also need a backup plan B option because things happen.
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A child wakes up vomiting or whatever, whatever throws off our mornings.
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We don't wanna use that as an excuse to say, "Well, now because I didn't have
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that first thing in the morning time, I'm just not gonna read my Bible today.
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I'm just not gonna pray today.
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I'm just going to fly by the seat of my pants and be reactive
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the whole rest of the day."
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We do not want that.
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We want to be proactive, and we want to use our time intentionally.
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And when we take the time to read our Bible, pray,
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and read good books, we will become the kind of people who can be intentional and
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proactive about our day because our mind and our spirit are engaged in a way that
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makes us more productive and also more wise
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Spending more time on our phones will disconnect us from our real life, while
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spending time in the Word, in prayer, and in good ideas will anchor us and
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make us the kind of women who have something useful to say and do all day
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So give yourself a plan A and a plan B when it comes to reading your
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Bible, praying, and reading real books
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All right, so we finally come to the last thing that you're gonna figure
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out, which is your meal strategy.
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Now, too often we overcomplicate meal planning, and we want
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everything to come out just right.
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We want the budget to come out right, along with the health and nutrition,
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along with the less time needed in the kitchen and grocery shopping, and then
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we have to have the recipes and the lists, and we have all of these moving
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pieces that we're trying to arrange into some sort of elaborate system
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that will suddenly make it all work.
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We're gonna give up on that kind of menu planning, and we're also going to give up
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on the kind of menu planning that just has us browsing recipes for hours upon hours.
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You see, the reality is that throughout time, and even now in other parts of
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the world, people eat much less variety than we are used to as Americans.
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You do not have to have a brand-new dinner to eat every single day, week after week.
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That's not how you create traditions or family favorites.
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That's not how you come up with signature dishes of your own.
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These are things that you're known for because you've served them over and over
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An example of this in our family is Saturday pancakes.
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My mom made pancakes every Saturday when I was growing up, and my
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husband's dad made pancakes every Saturday when he was growing up.
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And so of course, Saturday is pancake day.
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And now our son is carrying that on in his family.
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It's just normal.
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It's just what we do.
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Pancakes on Saturday.
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No thinking necessary.
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This is now a family tradition
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It's a shortcut.
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It's a decision that doesn't even have to be made.
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It's a norm, and they are handy for keeping life rolling
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and cheerful and connected.
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So your meal strategy is some kind of routine decision for each day of
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the week, things like Taco Tuesday or Pizza Friday, Chicken Monday.
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These just shortcuts help us have a base that we can add variety to and change up
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as we go, but we already have a starting point, so we're not starting from scratch.
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We're not grocery shopping brand-new lists all the time, and we're not
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browsing a bunch of new recipes every time we sit down to meal plan.
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We're not overthinking it or overcomplicating it.
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We have maybe some mild variation, but we do the same thing over and over again
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This also includes having regular weekday breakfasts, regular lunch options
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the key to the MEAL strategy is that you're pre-making some decisions
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and really formulating family traditions without overcomplicating
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it and overthinking it.
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This streamlines and simplifies dinner while making it a better
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connection point for your family, which is a key part of a family dinner
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and one of the reasons to prioritize it
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and help it actually happen
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I know that these four areas sound maybe oversimplified.
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Like, this isn't gonna make that big of a difference, or this isn't gonna take two
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hours to figure out, and maybe it won't.
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But reserve two hours to think it through, to write it out, and to streamline
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and to create a basic structure for your week so that you have a good
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rhythm, a daily rhythm and a weekly rhythm that your family can depend upon
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Being organized boils down to being prepared and able to handle your
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own real life, and making these decisions ahead of time is what helps
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us lay that groundwork for being prepared and handling our real life
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You see, productivity and organization is not about moving faster or
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being busier, but about clearing the obstacles to regular rhythms
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Decluttering our overthinking and creating paths for us to walk in
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that build the kind of life that we want to build for our families.
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These decisions remove obstacles from that path of building up our homes and family
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life cheerfully to the glory of God.
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You don't need a lot of details.
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It doesn't need to be fancy or complicated.
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In fact, it shouldn't be.
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But we do need some structure to work with on a daily and weekly basis.
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And written out in a clear, simple framework will help you take real
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action day over day and build traction and momentum in your life
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Now, if you're interested in getting my help actually walking through
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this process, spending 90 minutes to two hours perhaps spending about 90
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minutes working through this process and creating a written plan with
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worksheets for this weekly structure,
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Then join my Chaos to Consistency 90 Minute Reset Together we'll go through
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this process and create it on paper and I'll be answering your questions
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and helping you make those decisions and get them written out in a way
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that makes it actionable and doable.
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You can find out more information about that reset by going to
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simplyconvivial.com/reset.
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Simplyconvivial.com/reset,
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and I'll also have the link in the description on this episode
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I would love to hear in the comments too, which of these four areas is the
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one you need to put the most thought into to make it work better in your
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life, to move from chaos to consistency?
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You don't need to complete every project or clean every room or catch up.
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You need to make a few foundational decisions,
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And these four areas are key to building that foundation
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You need this foundation, and of course, you also need to repent, rejoice, repeat