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13: Opening Up to Change · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Our current series is Gentle Witnesses, sharing the
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good news at work in a way that
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actually makes sense.
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I want to start with a quote from
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C.S. Lewis from his spiritual memoir Surprised
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by Joy.
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He's describing the different steps that unfolded in
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his own life, which eventually culminated in him
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placing his faith in Jesus Christ, embracing Christianity,
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following Jesus for the rest of his life.
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But before he got there, he had a
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significant experience, and it's kind of funny how
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he describes this.
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He says, I was going up Headington Hill
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on the top of a bus.
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You can always imagine this double-decker UK
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bus, right, where you can sit on the
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top like you do over there.
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So he's on the top level of the
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bus, right?
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He's going up the hill, and then he
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says, without words, and I think almost without
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images, a fact about myself was somehow presented
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to me.
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I became aware that I was holding something
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at bay or shutting something out.
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Or if you like, that I was wearing
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some stiff clothing or even a suit of
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armor, as if I were a lobster.
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I felt myself being there and then given
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a free choice.
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I could open the door or keep it
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shut.
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I could unbuckle the armor or keep it
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on.
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I felt as if I were a man
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of snow at long last beginning to melt.
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The melting was starting in my back, drip,
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drip, and presently trickle, trickle.
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I rather disliked the feeling.
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OK, so it just makes me laugh at
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these images that Lewis summons up to try
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and describe what's going on in his heart,
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in his imagination, in his experience of himself.
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It's like he was a lobster, right?
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Like this hard, external shell, right?
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And he's being presented with this choice.
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Are you going to stay like that?
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Are you going to stay like the lobster,
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crustacean, firm invulnerability?
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Or are you going to open up?
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Are you going to open the door?
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Are you going to let yourself melt a
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little bit?
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And what Lewis is capturing so eloquently and
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creatively here is this moment that can happen
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in people's spiritual journey, the moment of openness
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to change.
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And that's our next step on our five
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thresholds that we're looking at.
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So we've already looked at trusting a Christian
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friend and how trust is the beginning of
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this process for many people.
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Then curiosity, becoming curious, which may just be
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intellectual, academic, philosophical.
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But now here on this third step, people
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are not just dealing with ideas.
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People are beginning to ask, could this change
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me?
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Could something happen inside of me about all
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these things I'm exploring?
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Could something be real in my life?
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And this often comes on people as a
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kind of surprise, right?
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Even C.S. Lewis, the title of his
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memoir, Surprised by Joy, until people get to
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the point of being personally open to an
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experience of change.
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It's not on their agenda, right?
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They were just exploring ideas.
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They were just having a Christian friend.
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Like they weren't planning on big life change
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happening, but then they find that something is
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happening inside of them.
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And so we as gentle witnesses, people who
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are coming alongside our friends who are witnessing
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what's going on in them, paying attention to
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what's going on in them and witnessing the
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reality of Jesus that we've already known, that
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we know it's a change worth experiencing to
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come into the reality of Jesus.
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We want to be really attentive to when
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this moment is happening for someone.
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Because it's not an easy moment.
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So we want to look at some guidance
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here from Don Everts and Doug Schapp.
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Their book, I Once Was Lost, that we've
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kind of been working through during this series,
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and they describe some of their conversations with
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friends who are starting to step into this
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stage of openness to change.
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And they say this, before actively seeking God
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and considering becoming a follower of Jesus, our
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friends had to become open to change in
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their life.
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And becoming open to change is much harder
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than it may seem on the surface.
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It is actually a heroic, mysterious, deep thing.
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We found that for everyone who easily makes
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the transition from being curious to becoming open,
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there are many more who struggle to become
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open to change or who never do at
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all, but just walk away from the journey
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to faith all together.
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Becoming open to change, it's not the same
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as crossing that line of placing your faith
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in Jesus, making a faith commitment, right?
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Even in Lewis's life, this moment on the
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top of the double decker bus was not
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his moment of embracing Jesus consciously, but it
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was this beginning to melt moment in his
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heart, in his life.
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And so when somebody feels like Lewis did
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that sense of, I can open the door
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or keep it closed, they're not necessarily walking
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through the door, but they're just deciding, am
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I going to turn the handle?
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Am I going to open it up a
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crack and I'm going to peek through and
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maybe see if there's something on the other
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side there?
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And so that's a really tender moment for
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us to come alongside.
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And it's a very difficult moment and it's
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difficult for obvious reasons.
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Keeping the door shut is much more safe.
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It's much more familiar.
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It's a door that someone's never opened before.
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And so for somebody to become open to
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change requires an incredible vulnerability.
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And that vulnerability, that openness is the beginning
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of faith.
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Again, it may not be that moment of
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saving faith, of confessing Jesus as Lord, but
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it is a turning of the heart toward
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God.
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It's a turning of the heart toward, maybe
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this could be real.
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And that's the beginning of faith.
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And we see expressions of a more mature
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version of this kind of openness or the
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lack of it in scripture.
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So I just want to look at two
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kind of scripture examples that give us this
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framework for understanding openness.
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One of those mature examples of openness is
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the Virgin Mary.
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When the Archangel Gabriel comes to her with
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this surprising announcement about the coming of Jesus.
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And it's clear that God is asking her
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to step into this moment, to open the
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door.
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She has a question.
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She asks her question, but then she says,
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let it be to me according to your
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word.
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Let it be to me according to your
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word.
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That is a statement of profound vulnerability.
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Mary doesn't know everything she's signing up for,
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right?
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What does it mean to become the mother
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of the Messiah, of the Son of God?
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Well, what suffering and pain is in store
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for her, but she embraces it even so.
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She says, may it be to me according
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to your word.
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I am opening the door.
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I am open to what God is doing
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in me in this moment.
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In his comments on this statement of Mary,
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Pope John Paul II, in his 1986 encyclical
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letter, Dominum et Vivificantem, he says this, Mary
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entered the history of the salvation of the
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world through the obedience of faith.
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And faith in its deepest essence is the
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openness of the human heart to the gift,
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to God's self-communication in the Holy Spirit.
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Faith in its deepest essence is the openness
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of the human heart to the gift.
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I actually used to have that quote pasted
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on my bedroom wall when I was in
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high school, because that gets how nerdy I
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was.
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Even though I've never been Catholic, I had
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a Saint John Paul II quote on my
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wall in high school or on my door,
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because I just love that image.
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Faith in its deepest essence is the openness
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of the human heart to the gift of
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the Holy Spirit.
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And so when somebody begins to turn that
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door knob, begins to open the door, even
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if they're not fully putting their faith in
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Jesus yet, they're beginning to, they're beginning to
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have that moment of, of could this be
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real?
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But even when somebody maybe still has their
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hand on the doorknob, they can slam the
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door shut again.
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And we see this in scripture as well.
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So if we think about Jesus's conversation with
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the rich young ruler.
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So this is from the gospel of Luke
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chapter 18 verse 22, he's had some back
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and forth with the rich young ruler.
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And then Jesus says, you still lack one
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thing, sell everything you have and give to
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the poor and you will have treasure in
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heaven.
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Then come follow me.
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When the man heard this, he became very
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sad because he was very wealthy.
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So, so this man seems like he's moving
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to genuine openness, right?
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He's asking Jesus about eternal life.
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He's, he's engaging with Jesus's answers to his
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questions.
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But then Jesus sees, Oh, he, what he
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really needs, right?
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Is a change in his life to really
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be open to God.
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He needs to, to, to give up the
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way that he's attached to his possessions.
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And so Jesus challenges him to have that
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kind of openness.
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And the man goes away sad, right?
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He, he closes the door, he walks away.
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He says, I, that's too much for me.
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And that can happen with our friends at
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this point in the journey too.
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Maybe somebody begins to explore openness to Jesus,
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but they get uncomfortable.
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They back away from it.
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A temptation we can have as friends is
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again, to be anxious, right?
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To, to think, Oh, we've got to get
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them to do the right thing.
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But again, evangelism is not about getting anybody
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to do anything.
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It's about coming alongside people, helping them take
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their next step, whatever it is.
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So actually just being calm, gentle, present to
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people in this moment is helpful.
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So, so here's a question.
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What can we do if it's not about
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forcing people to somehow do something?
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What can we do in these moments of
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vulnerability?
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Well, one thing we can do is to
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practice openness ourselves.
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Again, we always want to be practicing what
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we preach, right?
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To, to be modeling and just living out
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this way of Jesus as we, we encourage
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others to take these steps.
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And so we can be open with others.
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That sense of appropriate vulnerability, sharing what's tender
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in our heart with someone else, sharing our
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difficult experiences with other people as appropriate, as
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there's trust both ways built in that friendship.
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You can share some of your experience with
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them and maybe some of how God has
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met you and your experience with them.
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And that again, we'll encourage them to say
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like, wow, this person's being open with me.
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Maybe I can be open with them.
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Maybe I can be open even with Jesus
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in some way.
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Maybe I can unfold part of what's going
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on in my heart.
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Now, when we, when we think about that
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kind of vulnerability and openness, something that comes
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up is the pain that people are carrying
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in their different experiences and the traumas they've
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been through.
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So I just want to take a very
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simple quote about trauma here.
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This is from one of those classics, the
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book, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, published a
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few decades ago at this point.
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But he's got this quote about how healing
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can happen around painful and traumatic memories.
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He says this, another step in healing involves
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retelling and reconstructing the story of the trauma
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in the harbor of that safety, allowing the
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emotional circuitry to acquire a new, more realistic
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understanding of and response to the traumatic memory
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and its triggers.
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As patients retell the horrific details of the
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trauma, the memory starts to be transformed, both
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in its emotional meaning and in its effects
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on the emotional brain.
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Now the context he's talking about there, he
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used the word patients, right?
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It was like a clinical relationship with a
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therapist or a doctor, someone who's listening to
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a patient unfold a traumatic memory, who's trained
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to do that in a safe way so
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that they don't have to be re-traumatized
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as they share that memory.
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But the person learning to tell their story,
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even the painful parts of their story, helps
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them craft new meaning around that story.
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It's part of the healing process itself.
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Well, obviously that can happen in a healthy
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way, in a specific way, in a clinical
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setting.
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And sometimes it needs to, particularly if somebody
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really does have like formal post-traumatic stress
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disorder or really severe traumas, those clinical settings
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can be helpful.
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But this is also something that can happen
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in friendships.
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If we create that sense of safety for
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someone, we've built that level of trust with
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them, we've listened to them, we've seen how
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they're curious and we've responded by being curious
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about them.
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They may begin to unfold to us in
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the context of our friendship, part of their
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painful experiences.
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And if we tenderly receive that, listen to
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that, that openness with a kind heart, with
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an attentive presence, with a warm care for
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them as a human being, even them sharing
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those things with us can be an experience
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of healing.
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It doesn't have to be re-traumatizing for
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somebody to share those things.
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If they're sharing them in an environment of
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safety, with somebody who cares about them, going
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at their own pace, according to the openness
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that they have, that can be the beginning
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of healing.
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And that can also be part of somebody's
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journey towards faith.
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If they realize, wow, my painful experiences are
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safe in this friendship, maybe my painful experiences
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could be safe in a friendship with Jesus.
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And now again, it's probably going to take
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a long time for them to make that
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next connection.
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Openness to change, it can be a long
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process, right?
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But we want to make sure that we're
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present.
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So one way that we can help is
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by being present, being appropriately vulnerable and open
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ourselves.
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And by being tender and attentive as people
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share their own experiences of pain with us,
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again, with an eye open towards the possibility
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of healing, even as people are on the
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journey of faith.
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And then the final thing we can do
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that can be helpful at this stage of
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openness is to gently challenge people.
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Now, it's really important, again, to gently do
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this.
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But somebody may be kind of sorting out
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like, do I open the door or not,
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right?
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Do I open the door a little bit
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further or not?
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Do I slam it shut?
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And we want to challenge people to open
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the door further.
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Again, we never take liberties.
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We never assume that we have more trust
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with the person than we do.
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We don't do power moves to get one
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up on them.
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We're just gently coming alongside people.
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And another way of thinking about this, how
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do we gently challenge people to open the
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door, is to help people interpret their own
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story, right?
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So people are going through something.
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And when they're in this experience of openness
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to change, they're going through something right now
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in the present.
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And they may not see all the connections
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that we can see between what they're experiencing
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and the reality of Jesus.
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So this is something that Don Everts and
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Doug Schaupp speak to in the book.
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I want to just read a quick quote
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from them.
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They call this helping people connect the dots.
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At this threshold, we are often simply helping
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to interpret and connect the dots in our
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friends' lives.
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If we truly believe that God has come
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to seek and save the lost, and we
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trust that he has been at work in
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their lives already, then it's often a matter
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of reframing the events and issues in their
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life within God's story.
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Gentle confrontation often reveals just how open they
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are to looking at things from a different
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perspective.
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For example, you could say, I don't think
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these are random events in your life.
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I think God is pursuing you.
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I think God is doing all he can
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to get your attention.
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So you kind of see the angle they're
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coming at it from.
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You're listening to people tell their story.
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Then you're helping people make connections between the
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story they're telling and the story of God,
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the story that you know, the story that
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you know you're living inside of with that
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person because Jesus is real.
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And so there's a real shepherding reality to
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this.
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It's very tender to say to somebody, wow,
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I think that what's happening in you right
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now is that Jesus is calling you to
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himself.
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Can you see that?
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Can you see how this experience and that
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experience and the change that you're talking about,
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how maybe that could be God speaking to
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you?
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Now, again, that's not something that you can
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force, right?
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It's not like we can just have already
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made the answer like, oh, yes, Jesus is
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always after every single human being.
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And so regardless of what they tell me,
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I'm just going to tell them that, oh,
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obviously Jesus is after you, right?
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Even though we do believe in some way
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that the Holy Spirit is at work in
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every story, we have to actually listen to
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the story.
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We have to actually see the ways that
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God could be at work.
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We have to discern.
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So there's no, no boilerplate or cookie cutter
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ready response for any of these things.
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It's rather in that person's individual lives, as
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you listen to them, can you discern in
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the Holy Spirit?
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Wow, that seems like Jesus is doing something.
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And can you help that person see that
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as well?
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Can you help them connect those dots?
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I've had conversations like this.
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So a friend of mine was sharing how
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she has been reading the Psalms at night.
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Again, not, not yet committed fully, but she's
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been reading the Psalms and she said this
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really fascinating thing to me.
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She's like, when I read the Psalms, it
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just kind of feels like that's the voice
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of God, like these things about like being
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protected and being safe.
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And I was like, yeah, I think it
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is.
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Now that was, that was easy, right?
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She was beginning to connect the dots herself.
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But I was like, yeah, no, I think
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God is trying to speak to you and
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how he wants to protect you and how
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he wants to be your shelter through that
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experience of your reading the Psalms.
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Right.
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So that's the kind of thing we're talking
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about what's really going on for them.
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How can we help them connect the dots?
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How can we help them see that God
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is welcoming them to open that door a
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little further.
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Lord Jesus, we want to be open to
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you.
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Show us how to keep our hearts open
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to the gift of your Holy Spirit.
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Even as we practice openness and vulnerability with
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our friends and we are ready for them
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to do the same, if they're willing, help
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us to walk gently with people, help us
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to listen to their stories with true care
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and help us to know how to gently
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challenge them to open that door even further
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to you.
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Jesus, do your work in us as we
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do our work with you.
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Thanks for listening.
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