Latest / The Curve / RTC51: Building resilience with your money when times are tough with Kayla Gordine

Transcript

RTC51: Building resilience with your money when times are tough with Kayla Gordine · The Curve

• 0:00
  This mindful miniseries is proudly sponsored by Brayface to help encourage conversations
• 0:06
  about our minds and how money stress can affect our overall well-being.
• 0:10
  Brayface has a trio of natural herbal products to help you feel calm and manage stress from
• 0:14
  all angles.
• 0:15
  They have headrest night drops to help you fall and stay asleep, cool head stress relief
• 0:20
  spray for moments of overwhelm and live calm daily capsules for managing long term stress.
• 0:26
  In collaboration with Brayface, we've created a resource to help you reduce stress when
• 0:30
  it comes to your finances and you can find this by the link in our Instagram bio or in
• 0:34
  the show notes for this podcast.
• 0:36
  We are live.
• 0:37
  We are live.
• 0:38
  It's an anti-climate.
• 0:39
  It's like three, two, one.
• 0:40
  I've already started recording.
• 0:41
  It's ago.
• 0:42
  Today we have got a guest in studio.
• 0:48
  We've got.
• 0:49
  Now, I hope I'm going to pronounce this properly.
• 0:51
  Is it just Kayla Gordon or Gordon?
• 0:53
  Gordon.
• 0:54
  Gordon.
• 0:55
  I'm so glad I asked.
• 0:56
  Yeah.
• 0:57
  Gordon.
• 0:58
  They've been awkward saying I'm wrong the whole time.
• 1:00
  When she came into your house, I thought you said this is Taylor and I was like, oh my God.
• 1:04
  Oh no.
• 1:05
  That's so not good.
• 1:06
  But no, I think it is.
• 1:07
  It's like if you were at like a dinner party or like a cocktail find someone's like, oh this
• 1:11
  is a, this is Sonja and you're like, it's Sarah.
• 1:14
  It's so funny.
• 1:15
  You're like, but they're so deep that it's like, oh, when do I, when do I like cut in the
• 1:21
  end just wrong?
• 1:22
  Do you know I've got this problem when I introduce people?
• 1:24
  It doesn't actually matter if it's like my sister or my best friend or my mum.
• 1:27
  I'm like, this is, and I fully blank.
• 1:30
  Like if I was introducing you in some kind of public setting, I fully forget people's names.
• 1:35
  It's so annoying.
• 1:36
  I've had in Queen Stanley the other day I introduced this couple when I knew her and then
• 1:40
  her and then her and I was like, but rusty on the name and I was like, this is, I was
• 1:43
  like, this is Louise and meh.
• 1:46
  Okay, so we've got Kayla and Julia.
• 1:49
  I'm so sorry.
• 1:50
  I was really rude.
• 1:52
  Okay, so she is a rate of sunshine.
• 1:54
  Now I, I'm not sure if that you, I mean, you would have done your research before this
• 1:58
  interview, but Kayla is like a health well-being, wealth of knowledge I would say.
• 2:04
  You do, you dabble in lots of different areas whether it be singer, songwriting or working
• 2:09
  for Les Mills.
• 2:10
  She's got her own business.
• 2:11
  She is like, does it all, yeah, and we're really excited to have you in the studio today
• 2:17
  because we're talking about mental health and our finances.
• 2:21
  And I thought it would be really interesting to talk to someone who has quite a holistic
• 2:25
  approach to health and well-being and seeing if that integrates with finances as well.
• 2:30
  So thank you so much for being here.
• 2:32
  Thank you for having me.
• 2:33
  Yeah.
• 2:34
  So I didn't know.
• 2:35
  Yeah.
• 2:36
  Just 15 minutes to set up this technical year this morning, so thank you for bearing with
• 2:40
  us.
• 2:41
  Of course.
• 2:42
  Now when we were doing our research for this interview, we saw all of the amazing things
• 2:46
  that you've done.
• 2:47
  And actually, funnily enough, the certificate that you did for integrated nutrition or something
• 2:51
  I looked at doing years ago, is it the online, it's based in the States, it's like a year
• 2:56
  long intensive?
• 2:57
  Yeah, yeah.
• 2:58
  With heaps of different lecturers and yeah, you basically learn like the fullest variety,
• 3:06
  widest range of holistic health in in every area.
• 3:09
  So it kind of gives you all the tools to be able to go out and help your clients with
• 3:13
  whatever they want to do.
• 3:14
  It's amazing because I remember looking at doing it and thinking it looked awesome.
• 3:18
  Would that have been kind of the step for you into holistic wellbeing?
• 3:21
  Were you like, oh, I'm really passionate about this now?
• 3:23
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 3:24
  So I was with Les Mills and then decided to do personal training with my classes as well
• 3:29
  and then I wanted to help on a more holistic scale.
• 3:33
  So that's when I deepen my studies and understanding with that.
• 3:36
  And when you say holistic, like I know what you're meant, there's a total step that's
• 3:40
  like I'm good.
• 3:41
  Yeah, I'm just like, no, I absolutely love that and that's what I kind of get frustrated
• 3:48
  with the doctors.
• 3:49
  It's like, okay, here's some medication to solve the issue.
• 3:50
  It's like, no, no, let's get to the root of the issue, not just treat the symptoms.
• 3:54
  Like that's what frustrates me the most.
• 3:56
  And I assume that's kind of what holistic is, it's like take looking at all aspects of your
• 4:00
  life.
• 4:01
  Absolutely.
• 4:02
  Yeah, that's it.
• 4:03
  Looking at the whole.
• 4:04
  And so, and looking at the interconnectedness and relationship.
• 4:06
  I'm full holistic.
• 4:07
  The whole.
• 4:08
  Yeah.
• 4:09
  So like, of the two of us just for context, because definitely they're like, I went for
• 4:14
  a run.
• 4:15
  I'm a finance guy like she's much more like, you know, like I'm up at sex, I've read
• 4:20
  17 books.
• 4:21
  I'm like more probably like I at one point in my life somehow ended up in like a cold
• 4:26
  in Mexico doing like, you know, I'm definitely the more woo woo of the two of us, I would
• 4:31
  say.
• 4:32
  Yeah.
• 4:33
  We're like opposite.
• 4:34
  I think it's all holistic, right?
• 4:38
  Yeah, exactly.
• 4:39
  Exactly.
• 4:40
  But would love to hear just a background of your life.
• 4:43
  So you mentioned that you work for Liz Mills.
• 4:45
  If you've always been really into fitness, I look to your Instagram the other day and you
• 4:49
  look like you were scorting like 5,000 KJ.
• 4:51
  Oh gosh.
• 4:52
  Oh my God, she's amazing.
• 4:54
  Yeah.
• 4:55
  So I grew up in Auckland, the North Shore.
• 4:59
  And I grew up in an environment speaking to Del Maori.
• 5:03
  But my family doesn't speak Māori.
• 5:05
  So I met my best friend and she came from a Kodokopapa, which is a Māori-speaking school
• 5:12
  and we just connected like straight away and I was like, I really want to learn, you
• 5:16
  know, Tereo.
• 5:17
  And so I got into speaking Tereo and doing kapa haka and that's when I found singing and
• 5:21
  I really, I just loved being on stage and performing and just singing.
• 5:25
  I was like the token like you.
• 5:28
  People were like, is she going Māori?
• 5:30
  Well, I am a little bit so anyway, but then I was there and then from, yeah, high school
• 5:36
  I guess I merged into doing a year and half science.
• 5:41
  And then I found Les Mills and I was like, oh my gosh, I really want to do this.
• 5:44
  And I could see instructors traveling the world and teaching and I was like, oh my gosh,
• 5:49
  this is my dream.
• 5:50
  This is my dream.
• 5:51
  So I left university and dove straight into Les Mills world and was traveling and going
• 5:56
  to LA and doing photoshoots and, yeah, filming started
• 6:00
  to roll around and I was literally living my dream.
• 6:04
  And then that kind of merged me into wanting to do some personal training to deepen my understanding
• 6:11
  about the body and just offer myself in a different way and working with clients and stuff.
• 6:17
  And then that then led into holistic health coaching, which is birthed aphena wellness
• 6:23
  and that's where I run retreats, I do workshops and have my one-on-one clients.
• 6:29
  So I'm only really teaching one class for Les Mills at the moment, I'm still involved
• 6:33
  with their photoshoots.
• 6:35
  But yeah, it's really taken me on a huge journey and from COVID and lockdowns, that's
• 6:41
  when aphena was born because it was like, I can't actually teach physical classes and
• 6:47
  we're not traveling anymore.
• 6:48
  So I reconsidered what I wanted to do with my life and spend my time.
• 6:52
  So yeah, that's kind of come to this place and I'm just so amazing, I feel so inspired.
• 7:02
  I just can't, I mean firstly, it's actually I want it because we've got microphones in
• 7:06
  front of our face right now but I couldn't think of anything worse than having to instruct
• 7:10
  to exercise class, talk and exercise, exercise enough, like waste my breath, it's my breath.
• 7:17
  It's like if I go for a run with a friend, it's like, they do not talk to me at this.
• 7:20
  I need every breath I can get.
• 7:23
  Oh yeah, it's that you die, but you know, you just get used to it.
• 7:27
  And so do you weave today on Māori into your classes at Les Mills into your coaching sessions
• 7:34
  into like all aspects of your work?
• 7:36
  Yeah, definitely, like within Les Mills, I didn't do a whole lot, like I would say little
• 7:43
  bits and pieces when I was on stage.
• 7:46
  I guess like having been so involved in Les Mills for so long, I was like, I was just so
• 7:51
  in it tonight and I wasn't really embracing or yeah, speaking a lot of Tera Māori, I wasn't
• 7:56
  singing or being very creative, I was just like in it, which I loved and I think it's
• 8:02
  just my life is just taking it a different turn now.
• 8:05
  So really integrating it and going back to my roots and I think learning a lot about
• 8:10
  holistic health and how that ties into Tehwhareta Bafā, which is the four pillars of
• 8:15
  well-being, which is our mind, our body, our community, our connections and our spiritual
• 8:23
  connection and our values.
• 8:24
  So that in a whole is taking me back to Māori culture and the values that are at the core
• 8:33
  of Indigenous cultures.
• 8:36
  It's all viewed in a holistic sense and it's like we've come so far in the Western world
• 8:41
  that we've actually lost touch with that so that's where Tehwhareta Māori and Tehwhareta
• 8:46
  Māori, which is the Māori world view, is really integrated into my work now.
• 8:50
  You mentioned when you grow up, your family didn't speak Māori, how did you become so connected
• 8:57
  to that aspect of who you are?
• 8:59
  Yeah, it's so interesting, like I, before I knew, before I actually like knew that I was
• 9:05
  Māori, I just felt such a sense of connectedness to it and when I started to learn Tehwhareta
• 9:12
  and I went into the bilingual unit, I had no idea that I was Māori and to I was like my
• 9:17
  mum told me when I was like a teenager and I was like, what?
• 9:20
  You're like dad?
• 9:21
  You're like dad, it finds it kind of a little bit, yeah.
• 9:23
  And I was like, holy shit, because my name has been Kayla Godain and my full name is
• 9:29
  Kayla Atkinswooden and Atkins is the tie to my Māori side.
• 9:34
  So I spent like I saved up and we can go into like my upbringing with money and my experience
• 9:42
  with that.
• 9:43
  But I saved up to pay like, I think it's like $350 or something, when I was maybe, I
• 9:47
  don't know, $13 or $14 to do this research around, it's like the ancestry.com around like
• 9:54
  tracking where you're from and I was like, holy shit, yeah, I know my fuck up up and
• 9:58
  now.
• 9:59
  So because I used to say kōnatsu pō, oh sorry, kōnatsu pākehā, which means like my
• 10:04
  tribe is of like pākehā.
• 10:07
  But I can now say and I know that I'm from Ngāti Pōro, so it's like this connection
• 10:12
  to the land and I think I was like, oh my gosh, it was just like a sigh of relief to be
• 10:15
  like, ah, I do belong here, you know, it felt so natural and I was brought up with within
• 10:23
  the community like I was hardly a home really, just around every other family and their
• 10:31
  dynamics and brought up that way has really shaped, yeah, me as a person, but also it's
• 10:37
  the way that, you know, I feel like we all went to really love and, you know, connect.
• 10:43
  It's that idea of, you know, it takes a village to raise a child and I experienced that
• 10:48
  in real time for not as a child, but when I went traveling and I went into the sandblast
• 10:53
  islands, which is between Panama and Colombia and just being there in this village, they
• 10:58
  were the most welcoming, beautiful, like inspiring people I've ever met and you would walk
• 11:05
  around the village and there'd be grandmother's holding three babies and kids dragging kids
• 11:10
  and tires and other kids holding babies and it just really felt like that.
• 11:13
  That was the first time that I saw what it meant to be raised by a village, you know,
• 11:19
  and I think that that, like, different perspectives and different love and different ideas on things
• 11:25
  and having that diversity around different family dynamics and everything would be so amazing
• 11:32
  to see and experience as a child rather than just having, you know, like a sort of mum
• 11:36
  and a dad or two months or two, you know, just having that like, I don't know if I'm
• 11:41
  really explaining it. Yeah, and like, yeah, very contrasting views and beliefs and values
• 11:47
  and I've been exposed to, I was, I have really been exposed to so many different cultures
• 11:52
  and belief systems that it's given me the lens to create and shape what I believe and perceive
• 12:00
  because I'm like, I've just been, you know, and I think that that's a, it's a, it's
• 12:03
  definitely a blessing and I think we can, we can still evolve that into, into our lives
• 12:08
  you know, but yeah, how are we, how are we raised and how are we, yeah. And so then if we were to
• 12:14
  round things back to finances and money and how potentially having grown up in that sort of an
• 12:21
  environment, do you think that that shapes the way that you interact with your finances, how you
• 12:27
  view wealth, how you perceive that exchange of work versus money? Like, I'd be really interested
• 12:34
  to hear your perspective on that. Yeah, so I grew up very, very humbly like my home, I don't know
• 12:45
  if it was a state home, but it was like, you know, we get money from the government to help pay
• 12:49
  things. So, and I had six siblings and so I had like a huge family, which I give it to
• 12:56
  us, six of us. Yeah, and then my sister had a child really young, so it kind of like was
• 13:02
  grow, he grew up with us as well. So, yeah, at least like two to three children in each room and
• 13:08
  it was just like, that's all I knew. So, and I honestly like, I felt like I was privileged and I
• 13:14
  definitely was because I had shoes on my feet and I had clothes on my back like people at school
• 13:18
  and children at school, some of them didn't have that. So, I thought I was very lucky and it was
• 13:24
  interesting because we, I guess our, yeah, the view on like people with money was kind of like,
• 13:30
  oh, there was almost like a, there was an energy behind that to be like, oh, you know, that they're
• 13:34
  not like us or, you know, so because, and so there was a fear around even wanting to show that I
• 13:41
  had anything better than anyone else. So, I kept myself quite small, but I also learned fast to
• 13:48
  want to, I wanted to make money. So, I started taking on doing like paper runs and stuff at like
• 13:53
  11 years old and if I wanted to play any sport, I had to pay for that myself. So, I learned
• 13:58
  quickly to save and to, yeah, to work for what I wanted to do, basically. And that definitely
• 14:06
  shaped my independence as a very young woman, but yeah, I think from there it's just been
• 14:16
  wanting to just, I want to now and I think my perspective and my beliefs have changed
• 14:21
  around money. I've been like, no, I am worthy and it's because, you know, because I haven't come
• 14:25
  from money, doesn't make me more worthy or less worthy, but it's like, it's a driver to be like,
• 14:29
  I want to create a life. So, also, my children have more than I did or, you know.
• 14:36
  Do you think though, and I'm just curious, like, I think that that idea of growing up around
• 14:43
  people who have less than you, and then you seeing yourself in a privileged position, I think
• 14:49
  that is like the most amazing perspective to have from a young age. Absolutely. And it's like in
• 14:56
  the stages, like of development, right, that we really established these beliefs and they stick
• 15:02
  with us and we have to get to know them and work with them. And this is what I find fascinating
• 15:06
  around, like learning about the mind and the subconscious and the conscious and how we can,
• 15:11
  we can restructure and rewire our beliefs, but yeah, it takes presents and a lot of work and to,
• 15:18
  and I affirmations and stuff that they make you come back to be like, I'm worthy, I'm worthy,
• 15:23
  I'm worthy, I'm worthy. Like, the more we tell ourselves these things, we literally do start to
• 15:27
  believe it. So, is that some of the work that you have done at around money and mindsets?
• 15:33
  Yeah, shit. Yeah. Yeah. A lot, especially around the last year, and since starting our
• 15:38
  FINA, like pouring probably like, I don't know, 30,000 dollars into trying to start it and to get
• 15:44
  it off the ground and then not paying myself for a whole year. And it's like, you know, music
• 15:48
  expenses and all sorts of just money was, yeah, it was like a big stress for me last year,
• 15:55
  especially beginning of the year. And I'm like, shit, I've got to change, I've got to change the
• 15:58
  way that I'm viewing this because I need to believe that I'm worthy and the time and the energy
• 16:03
  that I'm investing into these areas that I love trusting, which is the hardest thing and letting go.
• 16:11
  And yeah, trusting that it's going to come back 10 fold, or it's going to come back because it's
• 16:16
  it's an exchange, money's an exchange, so it's time, so it's energy. And if you don't take the risk,
• 16:21
  yeah, you kind of, you don't get that reward. So, taking that risk of pouring that money into the
• 16:25
  business and, you know, wanting to make it succeed, it also creates drive as well, because you're
• 16:30
  like, I have taken this risk, I want it to pay off, so I'm going to, you know, do absolutely
• 16:35
  everything in my power to make it a success. So there's also like that element to it as well.
• 16:41
  Absolutely. Do you think as well, like sort of sidesteping from Les Mills, we are probably getting
• 16:46
  more of a steady income, that transition was also difficult to then go from like, okay, I'm getting
• 16:52
  a paycheck, now I'm not. How did you deal with that? Yeah, so that was a huge journey around like
• 17:00
  figuring out what I'm worth as I can hourly rate to even, you know, my clients and, and really
• 17:06
  valuing what I'm offering within my business. So yeah, it was an interesting transition because
• 17:14
  money did go down, and I needed to, like similar to what you're saying, it was a drive for me,
• 17:20
  which I think I thrive on, and it's the, the inconsistency of it was like, oh, like, I need to,
• 17:27
  I need to pour my, you know, time into this space to make sure I'm getting money, you know,
• 17:31
  to set me up for this amount of time, or so it's, it was very stressful, but it always comes around,
• 17:39
  and it's like finding a bit more of a consistency within, within the weeks, and I'm still,
• 17:45
  I'm still finding that out. Do you have any practices or things that you have put in place to try and
• 17:51
  ease that financial stress, or keep a steady mindset, or stay in a place if I'm trusting that
• 17:58
  this is going to work out, you know, like, what do you implement to try and not freak out,
• 18:04
  freak out and go into a place of anxiety stress, etc. Yeah, the biggest thing for me is like
• 18:11
  coming back to here, like knowing and reminding myself and ourselves that we can only do one thing
• 18:17
  at a time, you know, and it's like, if we are working towards things, if we have goals, if we know,
• 18:23
  if we know where we're going, and we're making the effort to work towards that, like, you will be okay,
• 18:29
  and I think we just trip out, we, we spin ourselves out in our minds because we're like, oh, we're
• 18:35
  not there yet, and it's like, come back, come back, like my, my number one thing, I'm just telling
• 18:40
  myself to come back, like, come back to here, like, now is the only thing that you have control over,
• 18:45
  and that ties into presence, which is the biggest thing that I try and help people and guide people
• 18:51
  with practices of meditation and breath and connecting to the body and end through movement,
• 18:56
  as well as like, just come back to here and then reassess and just keep moving, like, as long as
• 19:02
  you're moving, you will be okay. I'm read a really good quote, actually. Oh my god, VIX. Oh yeah,
• 19:08
  it's so funny. Please share. The back of the phone screen is like, dream and you will achieve, like,
• 19:13
  it's so funny. Every year I start with like a quote for a year or like it. No, but this one,
• 19:19
  just as what you were saying, it's so true, and it's like, if you're depressed, you're living in
• 19:22
  the past, if you're anxious, you're living in the future, and if you're at peace, you're living
• 19:26
  in the present. Absolutely. And it's like, so true, it's like, well, the anxious part, definitely,
• 19:30
  if you're like, oh my god, but what if this happens, and what if this happens, and what if this
• 19:33
  doesn't work out, and what it's like, like you're saying, just bring yourself back to the now and
• 19:37
  be present and start. Stop freaking out. Keep moving. As much as you can.
• 19:41
  Yeah, exactly. Hey, VIX, she's amazing. So yeah, she says you cannot think your way out of depression.
• 19:49
  So whether that's a low state of a vibration, like you want to lift your energy, you have to get
• 19:55
  into that feeling. You have to get into a better feeling state. So do something that you love,
• 19:59
  and that's been the biggest tool of use, which has been music for me. I'm like, I freaking love
• 20:05
  music. So if I'm in a state where I'm I'm I'm stress room, I'm feeling anxious or, you know,
• 20:11
  in a lower vibrational state, I will just sing in automatically. I'm like, okay, I'm cool now.
• 20:16
  It's funny to say that I remember this to the radio, a full thing. And they were like, you know,
• 20:21
  when you, they give an inspirational call. No, but it was like, when you, it was talking about
• 20:28
  this, and I was like, when you are in like a really bad state, you listen to bad music, and it puts
• 20:32
  you into, you know, worst state, or like you, you stay in that funk or in that spiral. And it's
• 20:37
  like, or if you're going through a breakup, you listen to like really heartbreaking songs, and you're
• 20:41
  like, oh my god, you know, and it's just like, knowing when you're in that state and trying to do,
• 20:46
  effectively do the opposite. And like, gosh, when I was going through breakups and I was trying
• 20:51
  to practice that, it works so much. If you, or if you wake up having a bad day, wake up in the
• 20:55
  morning, you're like, I've had, I'm, you know, starting a day shit and then you listen to shit music.
• 21:00
  Oh, honestly, yesterday I sounded like my Spotify turned to Sasha Sloan, who by the way,
• 21:04
  I normally do really like, but one of her songs was like, what the fuck? And it was, it was,
• 21:09
  it wasn't that was I think the name of the song. And I was like, sometimes I don't know the point
• 21:13
  of life. It was like real depressing, you know what I mean? And I was already in like a really
• 21:17
  funky state. So I put on Kylie Minogue on a night like, but I said, I was instantly just like,
• 21:23
  like, you know, like instantly. And I do think you're right. I think it's like, it's like flowers
• 21:29
  by Miley Cyrus. Oh, they're new one. I can bam. Like dancing around the house. Like,
• 21:36
  it's true. You're right. It's doing things and music I think is a huge one that changes
• 21:41
  only one's emotions a lot, but like exercise, movement, touch with yourself. Like if you're feeling
• 21:46
  anxious, I sometimes like give myself a hug and just like, remember that I'm here and not stuck
• 21:52
  in my brain. And I know that sounds quite weird, but honestly, like just being like feeder on the
• 21:56
  ground. I mean, you told me I'd scream into a pillow. I was like, oh, sorry, don't be ridiculous.
• 22:01
  Did you ever do it? Did you? How did you feel? Like an absolute idiot at the time. But it
• 22:06
  didn't actually work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I saw it on like love Island. They did
• 22:10
  it or something. I was like, oh, okay. So maybe to love Island. Not really. What I was going for.
• 22:18
  Stress around personal finance is the number one contributor to mental health in New Zealand,
• 22:23
  which is why we've created this mindful mini series with Braveface. The trio of herbal remedies
• 22:28
  help you tackle stress and worry head on, offering natural support for everything that life throws
• 22:33
  at you. The arranging includes head rest night drops to help you fall and stay asleep,
• 22:38
  cool head stress supports Brave, a rapid calm and focus, and live calm daily capsules for managing
• 22:44
  long-term stress. We've also created a resource to help you reduce stress when it comes to your
• 22:49
  finances, which you can find via the link in our Instagram bio or in the show notes for this podcast.
• 22:54
  Gosh, so many great things. Did you ever used mantras or words of affirmation specifically around
• 23:01
  money or mental health? Yeah, absolutely. And thinking of like words as vibration and energy.
• 23:08
  And there's a study, there's so many studies done around like water and there's like two glasses
• 23:14
  of water and there's this guy that looking at the glass of water, completely the same water,
• 23:19
  and they've taken a look under a microscope at the molecules of what they look like.
• 23:23
  And thinking, literally just pouring thoughts into this glass of water of hatred of fear,
• 23:30
  of anger, and then the other one of love, of happiness of joy, and then reassessing them under
• 23:35
  a microscope, and they're completely different. These ones with the hatred, they are all weird,
• 23:41
  and these ones are like crystallized. So it's like, if you think about, if that's a thing
• 23:46
  and scientists are telling us that, then how we speak to ourselves and each other,
• 23:51
  and every single word that we use is energy and vibration. And that is pouring into you right now.
• 23:58
  But maybe we should just like put some time aside in the day, you've read it just to say nice
• 24:02
  things to each other. And you're amazing, you're awesome, you're great. I feel like that would be
• 24:07
  just valuable, yeah. Or just looking at the mirror. Oh yeah, true, I could do it. And we're what,
• 24:12
  70-something percent of water. So if you think about that in our, right? So yeah, yeah.
• 24:18
  Oh, so if there's in the office, money is flowing to me, money is flowing to me,
• 24:22
  I'm gonna just put stickers everywhere, like your Spotify will just be your own voice,
• 24:26
  and it's flowing just to me. Money is flowing, money is flowing, you'll be able to
• 24:31
  afford rent next week, you'll be able to afford rent. Oh my god, you'll be able to afford
• 24:38
  your parking fines, you'll be able to afford your parking lights. Yeah, I trust, I trust, yeah.
• 24:44
  Have you ever struggled with internally with your mental health? Like is that something that you've,
• 24:49
  because I find whenever I've talked to people about, and I'm not saying that I think I'm a
• 24:53
  row of sunshine, however, if I have to assert that I struggle with my mental health, a lot of
• 24:57
  people seem to be surprised by it, and I kind of don't understand why, I mean, there's just
• 25:04
  perception that I think if you have any kind of problems with your mental health that you're
• 25:07
  wandering around like, you're, and it's like, no, people generally aren't doing. I mean, yes,
• 25:11
  there's people who are so bitter-pressed and can't get out of bed, but also everyone has their own
• 25:16
  internal struggles, and I'd just be interested to hear if in your life that's been something that you've
• 25:21
  struggled with and how you worked through it. Hugely. Yeah, and I actually, almost six years ago,
• 25:29
  my brother, he took his own life, so I went on a huge journey of wanting to understand that,
• 25:37
  and I think definitely come for a circle to be like, oh, yep, I get it now, and I didn't at the
• 25:43
  time, it took me years, and I was just still pretty numb to it, and really was just running from
• 25:49
  facing a lot of my own stuff. So, yeah, it's been a huge, it's been a huge challenge, and I think
• 25:57
  when you see people, or when you, when you feel a lightness in someone, like, they've got to have
• 26:02
  the duck, there's always a contrast to everything, right? So it's like, you can't have the light
• 26:07
  without the duck, you can't have the happy, ecstatic moments without, you know, without the opposite,
• 26:14
  and I think it's working with that and knowing that that doesn't define me in these moments,
• 26:20
  and I mean, I've been in places where I'm like, I don't even know, I don't even know what to do
• 26:24
  with myself right now, but you get through that, and it's trusting that everything is always
• 26:29
  constantly moving, and changing, like energy, the word emotion, just to drop that in there, but
• 26:38
  is literally means energy and emotion, and I think the more we can remind ourselves of
• 26:44
  things like, I'm sorry, but that was a real like, like a far, far moment, holistic moment.
• 26:49
  Emotion, energy and emotion, oh my goodness. Yeah, so it's, it's, we get ourselves, we spin
• 26:55
  ourselves into these places, and, and it's all in the mind, the mind is just a trap, it's like
• 27:01
  conditioned through our beliefs and everything that we've experienced, and it's not us, and when,
• 27:07
  for me, it was the moment I've been like, actually really feeling into, oh, this is not,
• 27:13
  this is not me, you know, we are the ones, if we can hear, you know, in the mind, if we are listening
• 27:18
  to something, then that's not us, we're the ones listening, so it's about getting to know the mind,
• 27:24
  and not letting the mind rule us in our lives, it's about taking back control, and it's hard,
• 27:30
  because 95% of our mind is subconscious, and it's the conscious part, which is what we're trying
• 27:36
  to strengthen through, you can do that through, you know, presence and, and meditation and awareness,
• 27:41
  and yeah, it's, it's, it's interesting, it's very interesting, because we all, we all struggle,
• 27:48
  we all have challenges with mental health, because that's, that's the human experience, but it's
• 27:52
  about, it's about not letting them take control of the will of your life, it's about, you know,
• 27:57
  saying like, you can stay there, like fear, self-doubt, like it's crippling, and it's,
• 28:02
  held me back from so much, and it's only literally been in the past three months, where I'm just like,
• 28:07
  if it, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put myself out there, I'm gonna create my album, I'm gonna,
• 28:12
  I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna do the things that scare the shit out of me, because why? Because
• 28:16
  there's actually nothing to lose, and I think you have to go through a dark place to, to
• 28:24
  realise that, I actually could not agree more, and I, I had this moment, and I was overseas by
• 28:30
  myself, and I was absolutely beside myself, like I was actually at the top of this hill,
• 28:37
  looking at a view in Lisbon by myself, and I literally just started crying, I just had,
• 28:40
  had a real literal rock bottom, I mixed up, it was a big rocky like castle thing, and I just sat
• 28:45
  down, I was so crying, which I can laugh about now, but at the time felt so, so heavy, and I remember
• 28:51
  calling one of my best friends, and I was just like, I just feel crazy, all the things that I'm
• 28:55
  thinking, like it's so overwhelming, and you first said she was like, oh, you nest go,
• 29:00
  be heritage sites, make me cry every time, she was like, don't worry about it, but I think just like
• 29:05
  in that moment having someone say to me, firstly it's normal how you're feeling, and then secondly,
• 29:11
  to be like, you know, you're a very empathetic person who feels a lot for yourself and for other
• 29:15
  people, and unfortunately the dark side of that is what you're feeling right now, and you wouldn't
• 29:20
  get those other beautiful parts of who you are without that darker side, and I think that's a
• 29:25
  really important reminder that if you are struggling, whether it's stresses from your finances that
• 29:30
  are like, really holding you back, or it might be, you know, in your relationship, it could be
• 29:34
  with your friends, whatever your situation is, that you can change things, whether it be physically
• 29:41
  moving, whether it be words of affirmation, whether it be meditation, like there's things that you
• 29:45
  can do to slowly work yourself out of however you're feeling, it's not like a permanent state,
• 29:51
  nothing's permanent, that emotion and like energy and motion is such a great reminder of that.
• 29:59
  Yeah, constantly changing, like nothing is ever stagnant, and I think that's such a beautiful
• 30:07
  reminder for us to be like, we're always moving, you know, and not tied to our past, and every moment
• 30:12
  is like, you know, we're creating what our future is going to be. What would you say is a money
• 30:18
  goal that you've got for yourself this year? I would love to, for our app, to get like 10,000
• 30:26
  subscribers, and that would generate like $100,000. Awesome. Yeah, so that's a big goal.
• 30:33
  Money wise, it's interesting with music, so I've just started recording my first album,
• 30:38
  but learning all about Royal T's, I've literally like, come from the fitness industry,
• 30:42
  like just diving headfirst into the music industry, being like, holy, I need to learn all this
• 30:46
  stuff, so I'm still figuring out how that's going to work, but I mean, if I could in the next few
• 30:51
  years, by the time I'm 30, making like a million dollars would be, you know, that's a goal.
• 30:58
  Yeah, I'm so here for it.
• 31:00
  Can we get a live performance?
• 31:04
  This song will be out in like, I'd say two to three weeks.
• 31:09
  This probably will be actually out by the time your song's out, so let's just give it a little
• 31:13
  plug if anyone's listening and wants to check out your music. What do they need to search on
• 31:18
  Spotify or Apple? Yeah, cool, so you can find me on Kaila Gourdeen, and that's where I'll be
• 31:23
  releasing all my latest music. So if they look at your Instagram, they can find your artist,
• 31:30
  like all of your music through there. Yeah, yeah, Urubian and the link is for Spotify and Apple
• 31:35
  Music and everything, so thank you to us when you're famous. We'll be like she was in our podcast
• 31:40
  studio, we interviewed her. Oh my gosh. Well, that's really exciting. I must say when I was having
• 31:46
  some, you know, deep dark moments during COVID, I don't know who put me on, like who told me about
• 31:51
  you. I think I might have been Charlotte Gourdeen, one of my school friends, and she was like, I think
• 31:55
  you're really like Kaila. I was like, oh cool. And I started following you on Instagram and I
• 31:58
  remember seeing you put up just little videos of you singing and I was like, oh my goodness,
• 32:03
  voice of an angel, just like so beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And thank you.
• 32:10
  Gosh, and what amazing money goals. Just owning it, putting it out to the universe.
• 32:15
  After, yeah, I'm going to earn a million dollars at the time on 30. If you think about it,
• 32:19
  it's flowing to me, it's flowing to me. Think about all the money that's in the world. It's like,
• 32:24
  why we why you why you why why am I not worthy? Also having that go on owning it, so many females
• 32:31
  feel like, oh, I don't want to sound greedy. I don't want to seem like I'm, you know, wanting
• 32:36
  something that's that's out of two out of reach, or maybe I won't get it, you know, and you start
• 32:40
  to pop a syndrome too, because if you say something, people are like, I think people are confident,
• 32:45
  I mean, sorry, confident in you in support of to a point. And then as soon as you're successful,
• 32:48
  they're like, well, they're actually bitches. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, it's real weird
• 32:54
  New Zealand mentality. Can I ask quickly, you know, you're pouring a lot of money into your
• 32:57
  business and into this app that you're creating and your music. Have you created, you know,
• 33:02
  like an emergency fund, or have you done a sort of cash flow, or what kind of like financial plan
• 33:08
  have you put in place to try and ease the whole like, oh my god, like, hardly done doing this.
• 33:12
  Yeah. I don't. Okay. Which is really it's interesting, because I need to, but I have just like,
• 33:25
  I've been just trying to, I feel like I've been in a survival mode in the past two years.
• 33:30
  And that, but in that space has led me to where I am now. And I, I know, I know that
• 33:39
  everything is like as soon as these, these wheels of motion are starting to move now, like
• 33:44
  things are going to be okay, because I feel it. I feel it and I trust it in myself. And so it's like
• 33:50
  money is coming. And I do, I've, you know, it's like, there is income moving. It's just like,
• 33:57
  we all always want it to be a little bit more. And yeah, so I've putting in putting in place
• 34:03
  things in action, obviously, to to make sure that things are covered and and plans, which is what
• 34:08
  I'm doing now for every area. But I haven't done that in the past, which is important. Why do you think
• 34:15
  now is the time that you're like, okay, I know I need to budget or create a emergency fund or,
• 34:21
  you know, like obviously the business side of things, but from a personal perspective,
• 34:25
  what do you think it's come to from an, is it an age thing? Is it a now thinking about the future?
• 34:31
  Like what, what do you think is kind of that turning point of, okay, I'm going to actually make an
• 34:37
  effort to have a plan and, you know, put time and effort into planning so that the financial
• 34:45
  stuff isn't just like willingly throwing it at the world. Like what, what was like that moment
• 34:49
  where you're like, okay, it's time. Yeah, I think it's like the, it's the shift of focus for me
• 34:56
  to, to start my music career. Because I'm, when you're, when you're pouring as you know with
• 35:02
  business and it's like pouring so much into a business is one thing when you have a financial
• 35:08
  income here, which is I've always had that and I still have that. But now I'm splitting my time,
• 35:13
  not two ways into my business and, and you know, earning money or whether I'm doing modeling or
• 35:19
  whatever it is coming in regularly. I've now got another avenue which I'm spending majority
• 35:25
  of my time into creating music now. So this is not, you know, I'm, I'm splitting my time into
• 35:32
  these areas. So I need to make sure that I'm looking after myself in every, every way, but also
• 35:37
  making my music as a sitting that opposite business and, and how can I make money from that and
• 35:41
  how can I be more, yeah, like having a business hat on and knowing every area that's moving and
• 35:50
  getting, you know, having a, having an account and having a lawyer and having the things that I
• 35:55
  need to be successful and to make sure that I've got my back covered and just doing things properly.
• 36:04
  Yeah. Do you think that if you'd done it earlier, it would have made things easier now or do you
• 36:09
  think that it's okay that you're just sort of starting to be like, okay, I think it's okay because
• 36:14
  I've needed to learn the lessons personally. Like if I had everything set up even like a year ago,
• 36:20
  I would not have experienced what I had in the last year and holy shit, I've learned so much
• 36:25
  in every aspect from, from the struggle, from the challenges and from, we, I feel like, and
• 36:32
  fully believe we need to hit these places in our lives and the rock bottoms to, to make the changes
• 36:37
  that we need and it's trusting that. And so what would you say would be like the key learnings
• 36:42
  from the last year because it sounds like you've had a big year of like getting yourself to where
• 36:46
  you are now, which seems to be like a really great place, which is amazing. But in those times of
• 36:51
  struggle, what would you say have been the sort of glowing, okay, this has been a really big learning
• 36:56
  for me. Yeah, gosh, there's a lot. I think having a consistent income that is really important
• 37:04
  because it was through the inconsistencies where everything in my life started to get a bit rocky
• 37:09
  and that's when you, you know, you're, that's when the mental health can, that's when everything
• 37:14
  starts to get rocky if one thing and it's the pillars of health and in a holistic sense as well
• 37:18
  as one's broken and it's like, oh, you know, so finding that consistency, having that foundation
• 37:25
  and knowing that that's your safety net and I think as a single woman knowing that I don't need
• 37:32
  anything or anyone like that is my, that's my safety and that's my, you know, like that's, I've
• 37:37
  got that then it's like, everything's fine. I learnt that as well from not saying the whole
• 37:42
  inconsistency. It's like, you know, some people really struggle for a mental health perspective
• 37:47
  when they're freelancing because that like inflow of and then huge amount and then nothing and then
• 37:52
  you know, and that like sort of imbalance, I think I know a lot of people have struggled and come
• 37:57
  to the same conclusion. I think that's a really good one. It's actually self love to have a consistent
• 38:01
  income. Absolutely. If your dream is to be singing but you and you want to do that, but for your
• 38:07
  mental health, you need consistency. Nanny on the side, you know, there's no shame in like
• 38:11
  making sure you've got your base covered. You're looking after yourself. You've got those
• 38:15
  essentials. I think that's a really good one. No, it's just a good reminder like, you know,
• 38:19
  when you are in that space of like, oh my gosh, what is happening with the world? What is happening
• 38:24
  in my life? And then to be like, you know what? I hope that I'm going to look back on this and it's
• 38:28
  going to be a turning point or a really positive, be the start of a positive experience. I don't know,
• 38:34
  that's what we never I'm like, at my what's end, crying or whatever I'm like, you know what?
• 38:41
  I think I'm going to look back on this and be like, when your business partner's driving your mental.
• 38:50
  What do you think that you, you know, in what you're learning now, because I know that you've
• 38:56
  made a real effort recently, all of a sudden you're like, okay, finances, important need to kind of
• 39:01
  and also investing and I think you know, you started following the curve and I remember,
• 39:05
  let's really just cool seeing where people are like, yep, okay, I'm interested in this now,
• 39:08
  because it definitely takes like, you have to get to a point when you're open to receive that
• 39:13
  information and a lot of people just aren't. And I'd be curious to know like, in what you're
• 39:18
  learning, how do you hope one day if it is that you do want children, that you, you know, can
• 39:26
  educate them around this earlier or give them a, you know, a different experience to what you
• 39:31
  had with money. I'm just interested in how do you plan on passing what you're learning down to
• 39:35
  the next generation. Yeah, good question. Having and reflecting on my upbringing of having a job
• 39:43
  early and learning, you know, learning if I want to do anything, I've got to pay for it. If I want
• 39:48
  to play sport, I've got to, you know, finance that and save and work towards that because nothing's
• 39:55
  free. And I think I would definitely raise my children the same, maybe pay for their sports as
• 40:00
  I think I want to do, but it's like earning your own money and really feeling into the value of
• 40:06
  exchange of time and energy for that because it is, it's just, you know, it's our currency time
• 40:12
  energy money. And it's like, yeah, that's the only way we can really learn the value of money,
• 40:18
  I believe is through that experience of exchanging your life, you know, and I think a lot of my
• 40:25
  beliefs around money are just, they've been crippling and it's like, I'm only, we're only just
• 40:30
  knowing our worth and knowing that we're only here for a short amount of time. It's like, so how much,
• 40:35
  how much time and energy do you want to point to things in and what do you want to get from that,
• 40:39
  what's the exchange and the work that we do, how that takes away or maybe shifts, not takes away,
• 40:47
  the work that we choose to do as time that we're spending away from things that we love as well,
• 40:53
  but if we can make them both what we love, then that's a win. So that's something that I would
• 41:00
  definitely want to share and pass down is like, make sure that you absolutely love what you're
• 41:06
  doing and then value yourself. Oh, inspiring. Sorry, did you have something to say? I feel like I've
• 41:14
  just got nothing to say because it was just so, yeah, I know that it was a really great roundup
• 41:19
  and I'm just going to butcher it by saying, my actual first job was a paper round as well.
• 41:24
  Love that. And here we are, look, I must say, both of you are probably doing better financially
• 41:28
  than me and you both did paper on the belly button. So, maybe what I need to teach my child
• 41:32
  is to do the paper round when you're really running. I mean, my fingers used to get really back,
• 41:38
  it was so annoying. Yeah, but wish I could. Hey, who's to say you could go and do a paper on
• 41:45
  the earth? Just wander around, go ahead. Learn to pounce me to paper girl.
• 41:48
  I mean, it's a quite successful. It's a very socialised exercise. Yeah.
• 41:52
  Oh, Kayla, thank you so much for spending your probably one of your creative days with us.
• 41:58
  Yeah, we really appreciate your insight and experience and just sharing your knowledge.
• 42:02
  And also, I'm definitely going to try and create some kind of like
• 42:06
  mentra cards for people to try and change their mindset because I loved what you said about
• 42:10
  the neuroplasticity with our brains and being able to change how you, sorry, that was the
• 42:14
  10th episode. Who's using big words now? Sorry, I can't. No, you seem very wise.
• 42:20
  You just seem like you've got it. It's meditation that sort it out, you know?
• 42:23
  So, like, and very switched on and very just holistic, you know, but just, yeah.
• 42:28
  I'm kind of like an awe. Oh, please. I know of you both.
• 42:32
  You're the kind watching what you'd, honestly, but what I just want to say, like watching
• 42:36
  what you're doing is an incredible inspiration. Like what in seeing and seeing you talk from your
• 42:42
  heart from a place of confidence, a place of passion, and it's just you are just showing up
• 42:49
  exactly how you are and you're helping so many people and you've already helped me a lot.
• 42:52
  And thank you for having me. It's, yeah, it's a good way to be here.
• 42:56
  I'm really feeling more comfortable with that.
• 43:00
  So, hopefully we can talk to you again soon because that was just amazing.
• 43:05
  Yeah, thank you, Caleb. Thank you for having me.
• 43:07
  This My Fulmini series is sponsored by Braveface, who help people empower themselves by giving
• 43:12
  them the tools they need to overcome limiting emotions. They have three natural herbal products
• 43:17
  to relieve stress from all angles. Live calm daily capsules for supporting long-term calm,
• 43:23
  cool head stress supports brave, a rapid calm and focus in moments of overwhelm,
• 43:28
  and headrest night drops, before you sleep and staying asleep.
• 43:32
  You can also get 10% of all Braveface products at braveface.com by using our code, The Curve Team.