Latest / Leadership Sandbox: Strategies to Uplevel Workplace Communication, Team Collaboration, and Your Corporate Culture / Episode 142: What to Actually Say When Letting Someone Go

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Episode 142: What to Actually Say When Letting Someone Go · Leadership Sandbox: Strategies to Uplevel Workplace Communication, Team Collaboration, and Your Corporate Culture

• 0:00
  Tammy J. Bond: Have you ever had that moment of that conversation that you know needs to happen?
• 0:04
  Tammy J. Bond: It's a priority to make it happen.
• 0:07
  Tammy J. Bond: And yet you keep avoiding it.
• 0:08
  Tammy J. Bond: Usually, when it comes to corrective action and even needing to terminate somebody, it's never easy.
• 0:14
  Tammy J. Bond: I don't think it gets easier the more you do it.
• 0:18
  Tammy J. Bond: The reality is you missed something along the path, most likely,
• 0:23
  Tammy J. Bond: that led up to what you've been avoiding for probably the last month.
• 0:28
  Tammy J. Bond: That bold conversation that needed to happen.
• 0:31
  Tammy J. Bond: And I hear a lot with people when we go in to address leadership
• 0:36
  Tammy J. Bond: behaviors, leader behavior patterns, that people just don't know how to have the conversation, or they've had.
• 0:43
  Tammy J. Bond: So many terrible conversations, they're afraid to have just one more.
• 0:48
  Tammy J. Bond: Well, today in the sandbox, I'm going to be sharing with you the conversation
• 0:52
  Tammy J. Bond: script and what actually to say when you get the opportunity to let someone go.
• 0:57
  Tammy J. Bond: So welcome into the leadership sandbox. I'm Tammy J.
• 1:00
  Tammy J. Bond: Bond and excited to have you join me today. Let's get started.
• 1:04
  Tammy J. Bond: So we've all had that moment that you've been avoiding, right?
• 1:09
  Tammy J. Bond: We've been avoiding this conversation that needs to happen.
• 1:12
  Tammy J. Bond: Why is it that we avoid that conversation?
• 1:15
  Tammy J. Bond: Well, for many reasons, people avoid the conversation, mostly because it's it's uncomfortable.
• 1:19
  Tammy J. Bond: It becomes uncomfortable to have that conversation around performance, around where someone's not meeting the expectation.
• 1:24
  Tammy J. Bond: I've actually heard from leaders.
• 1:26
  Tammy J. Bond: It's more uncomfortable for them because they realize they made a bad hiring decision
• 1:30
  Tammy J. Bond: and they're trying to make someone square peg round hole fit.
• 1:34
  Tammy J. Bond: And it's hard for them to put in the framework to admit and acknowledge
• 1:39
  Tammy J. Bond: I made a bad hiring call and I'm actually making it worse on the other person.
• 1:44
  Tammy J. Bond: So that moment, leader, that you started avoiding this conversation.
• 1:48
  Tammy J. Bond: Is the moment that you actually started lying to the individual that you're struggling
• 1:52
  Tammy J. Bond: with and actually lying to the whole team.
• 1:56
  Tammy J. Bond: And the team can see it happening.
• 1:58
  Tammy J. Bond: They see it unfolding.
• 2:00
  Tammy J. Bond: And where you get to step in and change that conversation, right?
• 2:04
  Tammy J. Bond: Change the outcome is coming up with what you need in the conversation to have happen.
• 2:10
  Tammy J. Bond: It's about leading with the decision.
• 2:12
  Tammy J. Bond: Not stepping into the debate in your own mind.
• 2:15
  Tammy J. Bond: Because that moment that you open with a conversation with someone with the, so how's it been going?
• 2:21
  Tammy J. Bond: You've just now made a negotiation and you've just now opened up discussion.
• 2:25
  Tammy J. Bond: You've made all of that possible.
• 2:27
  Tammy J. Bond: And the truth of the matter is, I want you to lead with that
• 2:33
  Tammy J. Bond: decision point first, not getting into.
• 2:37
  Tammy J. Bond: The why, the what's, the how come not.
• 2:40
  Tammy J. Bond: I want you to just be clear.
• 2:43
  Tammy J. Bond: So getting that clarity in your own mind,
• 2:45
  Tammy J. Bond: letting go of the storytelling because you've kept avoiding it for so long,
• 2:50
  Tammy J. Bond: and getting really, really clear on the situation and the behaviors that you're seeing
• 2:55
  Tammy J. Bond: or not seeing is going to be paramount to your success because it's really
• 3:01
  Tammy J. Bond: about naming the pattern of behavior.
• 3:03
  Tammy J. Bond: Not the person, right?
• 3:05
  Tammy J. Bond: Take it off the person, personality, put it into the behavior.
• 3:10
  Tammy J. Bond: We talk about that all the time here in the leadership sandbox.
• 3:14
  Tammy J. Bond: How do you do that?
• 3:15
  Tammy J. Bond: You get very clear on what are the deliverables that you expected that you've
• 3:20
  Tammy J. Bond: asked for because you had clarity in your expectations that you're still not seeing.
• 3:25
  Tammy J. Bond: And did you give them the framework of what success looks like?
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  Tammy J. Bond: If you've done all of that and documented it well.
• 3:34
  Tammy J. Bond: It's time to go to that next level of conversation, not for negotiation,
• 3:38
  Tammy J. Bond: not for discussion, but for the clarity of the decision point that you've made.
• 3:42
  Tammy J. Bond: You name the pattern, not the person.
• 3:45
  Tammy J. Bond: And you want to name the behavior because behavior is the evidence of the
• 3:49
  Tammy J. Bond: outcome and what got us to that outcome.
• 3:52
  Tammy J. Bond: So that's where I want you to stay in your conversation when it comes up.
• 3:56
  Tammy J. Bond: So, this is all the preparatory work.
• 3:59
  Tammy J. Bond: I'll give you the one, two, three steps of the script,
• 4:02
  Tammy J. Bond: but this is the preparatory work that you, as the leader,
• 4:06
  Tammy J. Bond: get to do before you step into letting someone go.
• 4:09
  Tammy J. Bond: And you know, the research is pretty clear that this is one of the
• 4:14
  Tammy J. Bond: most challenging areas in leadership.
• 4:18
  Tammy J. Bond: People avoid having these conversations.
• 4:19
  Tammy J. Bond: They get challenged by needing to have these conversations out of their own story.
• 4:27
  Tammy J. Bond: And the picture that they create so boldly in their own head.
• 4:31
  Tammy J. Bond: I've got to go in and I got to talk to Sally about her performance.
• 4:36
  Tammy J. Bond: And I know it's going to be a challenge.
• 4:39
  Tammy J. Bond: And I know she's not going to be open to it.
• 4:43
  Tammy J. Bond: And all of the, all of that is true.
• 4:46
  Tammy J. Bond: And right now, what I want you to do is to turn down the sirens in your head.
• 4:52
  Tammy J. Bond: I want you to turn down the sirens in your head.
• 4:55
  Tammy J. Bond: And I want you to turn up the volume of you, not the sirens of the what ifs.
• 5:01
  Tammy J. Bond: And the potential landfall that will happen, landslide that will happen from this conversation,
• 5:06
  Tammy J. Bond: and how uncomfortable it makes you.
• 5:08
  Tammy J. Bond: I want you to turn up the the conversation factually of why and what
• 5:14
  Tammy J. Bond: is, and then get into the how.
• 5:17
  Tammy J. Bond: But I want you also to remember this silence and avoidance, friend.
• 5:22
  Tammy J. Bond: That's not kind and that's not showing mercy.
• 5:24
  Tammy J. Bond: What it's actually doing is transferring pain, not just to the individual that you're avoiding in that moment.
• 5:30
  Tammy J. Bond: It's actually transferring it to the whole team because the team knows who you're having challenges with.
• 5:35
  Tammy J. Bond: The team knows who might be that underperformer.
• 5:38
  Tammy J. Bond: The team knows who's not meeting expectations.
• 5:40
  Tammy J. Bond: They just might not know what you've done behind the scenes because they can't.
• 5:46
  Tammy J. Bond: They're not supposed to, but they're watching.
• 5:48
  Tammy J. Bond: how you're handling it.
• 5:49
  Tammy J. Bond: And so when you're avoiding, you might think it's comfort for them,
• 5:57
  Tammy J. Bond: but actually it's just comfort for you.
• 5:59
  Tammy J. Bond: So here's the three part structure.
• 6:01
  Tammy J. Bond: Are you ready for it?
• 6:03
  Tammy J. Bond: The three-part script, this is where we're going.
• 6:06
  Tammy J. Bond: All right, here is the script for your conversation that you're going to have when letting somebody go.
• 6:12
  Tammy J. Bond: Very simple.
• 6:13
  Tammy J. Bond: One, you're gonna set the appointment, sit down with the person, and start with stating the decision.
• 6:19
  Tammy J. Bond: Sally, we've come to a decision, and today will be your last day of employment.
• 6:24
  Tammy J. Bond: We're giving you two weeks of severance.
• 6:26
  Tammy J. Bond: Number two, state the reason in one sentence, backed by fact.
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  Tammy J. Bond: It can be as simple as this.
• 6:33
  Tammy J. Bond: Okay, here is your script. Three points. Ready?
• 6:37
  Tammy J. Bond: Number one, state the decision simplistically, as simple as possible.
• 6:40
  Tammy J. Bond: Sally, we've come to a decision that today will be your last day,
• 6:45
  Tammy J. Bond: and we are giving you two weeks of severance with our company X.
• 6:49
  Tammy J. Bond: Number two, I want you to state the reason in a single sentence backed by fact.
• 6:55
  Tammy J. Bond: And it can be as simple as You're approaching the 90 days,
• 7:00
  Tammy J. Bond: and we recognize that this is not a fit long term for the company.
• 7:06
  Tammy J. Bond: It also could be you've been on a performance improvement plan,
• 7:11
  Tammy J. Bond: and we see that you're not meeting the measurements of that plan,
• 7:16
  Tammy J. Bond: and we feel that it's time to separate ways.
• 7:19
  Tammy J. Bond: I'd probably even take feel out of it, and we recognize it's time to separate ways.
• 7:24
  Tammy J. Bond: Then number three, you state what happens next. Simply, that's it.
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  Tammy J. Bond: Anything more, and what I mean by what happens next, today is your last day of employment.
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  Tammy J. Bond: You will receive two weeks of compensation.
• 7:38
  Tammy J. Bond: if you offer that, if your company offers that,
• 7:41
  Tammy J. Bond: the additional pieces you would then let them know that you will be walking
• 7:49
  Tammy J. Bond: them out or HR will be walking them to the office so that they
• 7:53
  Tammy J. Bond: can collect their personal belongings.
• 7:56
  Tammy J. Bond: And we thank you for your time and wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
• 8:03
  Tammy J. Bond: That's it.
• 8:04
  Tammy J. Bond: Because if you say anything more than that, you're not comforting the person, you're actually comforting you.
• 8:10
  Tammy J. Bond: That's the whole thing.
• 8:12
  Tammy J. Bond: You're you're trying to fill it with words to make you feel better.
• 8:16
  Tammy J. Bond: And the reality is it's just gonna be uncomfortable and you're gonna be sitting
• 8:20
  Tammy J. Bond: in the ick for a minute.
• 8:22
  Tammy J. Bond: But here's the other key, because I've seen this fail point too many times
• 8:27
  Tammy J. Bond: and I want to bring it to your attention.
• 8:30
  Tammy J. Bond: Don't go into apologizing for the decision.
• 8:32
  Tammy J. Bond: Gee, we're really sorry that this didn't work out.
• 8:35
  Tammy J. Bond: Nope, we're not saying that.
• 8:37
  Tammy J. Bond: You could acknowledge that we recognize the timing of this may not be great.
• 8:42
  Tammy J. Bond: We recognize the timing for this is never a good thing.
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  Tammy J. Bond: That's why we're honoring you with the two weeks.
• 8:49
  Tammy J. Bond: I don't know how you want to say it, but nothing more than that.
• 8:54
  Tammy J. Bond: You don't need to try to justify or apologize.
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  Tammy J. Bond: And I want you to remember this.
• 8:59
  Tammy J. Bond: The conversation itself isn't actually hard.
• 9:01
  Tammy J. Bond: It's not the hardest part.
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  Tammy J. Bond: The hardest challenge, the hardest part was the month leading up to the conversation
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  Tammy J. Bond: when you knew that it needed to happen and you were recognizing that it was coming.
• 9:13
  Tammy J. Bond: And the story that you built up and the the scenario that you built
• 9:20
  Tammy J. Bond: up in your head, that's usually the hardest part.
• 9:23
  Tammy J. Bond: And that's what keeps you from actually having the dialogue in the first place.
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  Tammy J. Bond: But three simple steps state the decision clearly, and in one sentence the reason.
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  Tammy J. Bond: No blaming, no finger pointing, backed by fact.
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  Tammy J. Bond: And number three, state to the person what happens next and follow through swiftly. That's it.
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  Tammy J. Bond: The end, end of story.
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  Tammy J. Bond: Depending on the policies around your company, they might be escorted out of the
• 9:47
  Tammy J. Bond: room immediately, and others will go in and pull collect their personal belongings.
• 9:51
  Tammy J. Bond: Whatever that is, that's the part that you're going to tell them what they can expect next. Period.
• 9:58
  Tammy J. Bond: When you go too much farther than that, again, you make it about you, leader, not about them.
• 10:03
  Tammy J. Bond: And remember, that month leading up to it is the story that you've built
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  Tammy J. Bond: so big in your head that I want you to stop.
• 10:13
  Tammy J. Bond: And for help with that.
• 10:15
  Tammy J. Bond: I want you to go back and listen to episode 141 of the Leadership
• 10:21
  Tammy J. Bond: Sandbox, just the last episode.
• 10:22
  Tammy J. Bond: Because if this conversation feels hard, that episode is going to help you because
• 10:27
  Tammy J. Bond: it's called Quiet Firing when Leaders Avoid the Hard Conversations.
• 10:30
  Tammy J. Bond: And that right there is where it starts. Start listening there.
• 10:34
  Tammy J. Bond: Set up the conversation because we've given you the three steps to be able to do that.
• 10:39
  Tammy J. Bond: So that next time you get to have that dialogue around letting someone go.
• 10:44
  Tammy J. Bond: It's not a big, huge picture in your head that's scary.
• 10:48
  Tammy J. Bond: It actually is a three-step conversation that goes very quickly and very swiftly.
• 10:53
  Tammy J. Bond: Because you've already got all the facts.
• 10:55
  Tammy J. Bond: Otherwise, you wouldn't be having that conversation.
• 10:59
  Tammy J. Bond: You've already backed it with all the documentation.
• 11:02
  Tammy J. Bond: Otherwise, there's no reason you should, and I'm saying should intentionally be having that conversation.
• 11:07
  Tammy J. Bond: We're going to be talking in a future episode about the proper way to document.
• 11:12
  Tammy J. Bond: I'm going to bring in a legal expert in HR.
• 11:15
  Tammy J. Bond: To help us with that so that you have the script and the tools
• 11:20
  Tammy J. Bond: to implement all the things that you're learning here in the leadership sandbox.
• 11:24
  Tammy J. Bond: I'm giving you all of the underneath work.
• 11:26
  Tammy J. Bond: I want to now also give you the tangible tacticals that you can apply
• 11:31
  Tammy J. Bond: immediately and train your own team to be able to apply immediately.
• 11:35
  Tammy J. Bond: So that again, those conversations you get to have, they don't get they're not hard anymore.
• 11:40
  Tammy J. Bond: They're still gonna be uncomfortable.
• 11:42
  Tammy J. Bond: They don't ever get easier, but they're not as hard.
• 11:45
  Tammy J. Bond: So thanks for joining me today in the sandbox.
• 11:49
  Tammy J. Bond: I am super grateful that you took time.
• 11:52
  Tammy J. Bond: And by the way, I guess I should have pointed this out at the middle.
• 11:56
  Tammy J. Bond: We've actually got a new recording studio.
• 11:59
  Tammy J. Bond: I'm standing in it.
• 12:00
  Tammy J. Bond: It's just not got all the chotchkee items up on the walls yet with
• 12:04
  Tammy J. Bond: the branding that we're looking for.
• 12:06
  Tammy J. Bond: But I am excited to be here in our new space.
• 12:10
  Tammy J. Bond: And there's more to come in the leadership sandbox.
• 12:13
  Tammy J. Bond: I'll see you next time.
• 12:14
  Tammy J. Bond: Make it a great day and God bless you.