Latest / Paranormal Lens - A Crossroads Of Curiosities, LLC Production / Angela’s summer of sorrows (please don’t send to her mom)

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Angela’s summer of sorrows (please don’t send to her mom) · Paranormal Lens - A Crossroads Of Curiosities, LLC Production

0:00
coming up do what makes you happy do what you
0:03
believe is your purpose what calls to you that's
0:07
the point of life so happy summer what like an
0:17
awkward teen who doesn't know how to like talk
0:21
normally i'm an awkward teen who doesn't know
0:23
how to talk normally so i started a podcast About
0:27
the paranormal, to learn how to talk to people.
0:29
You can talk to people, but you can talk amazingly
0:33
over a podcast. Which is funny, because Ben is
0:36
like one of the most social people I know. You're
0:40
such a people person, and everyone loves you,
0:42
Ben. I mean, is your summer going good or not?
0:50
Fun in the sun! I'm working so much. Well, it
0:55
doesn't feel too much like summer. It's literally
0:56
63 degrees right now. Yeah, today it is. It was
1:00
a chilly day today. It's a colder summer. Yeah.
1:02
I'm kind of sad. It was sunny, but I don't want
1:04
it to be outside, but I didn't want to sit in,
1:06
like, 60 degree weather in the shade. That's
1:10
a little... It can be chilly. I'm fine with how
1:13
the temperature is right now. I thrive between
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65 to 75. Any warmer than that, I'm dying. Any
1:21
colder than that, I'm miserable. That's so fair.
1:27
I just want it to be perpetually in between those
1:29
two states. I do like it in the 70s. It's, like,
1:33
keep it nice and sunny in the 70s. That's such
1:37
a nice temperature. Now, see, if I wanted to
1:40
go, like, swimming, which is never. Yeah, I'd
1:43
want it above 75. I want it 85 degrees. But I
1:49
don't like swimming. Me neither. I mean, I'll
1:52
go swimming. You're like a mermaid. I know. It
1:58
sucks that my two best favorite people in this
2:01
world don't like swimming. Okay, do you literally
2:05
remember last summer when we went kayaking? and
2:09
all three of us just pulled off at a random spot
2:12
in the river just so you could go swimming, and
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you brought up goggles just for it, and you just
2:17
kind of treaded water in one spot. Ben and I
2:21
just stood there like, yep, you're swimming,
2:24
all right. Well, it was so fun. You know, I went
2:28
to the deep end that's in that little river area
2:30
where we pulled off, and the current's fast enough,
2:33
so if you start swimming, you just stay in one
2:35
spot. Okay, what is this podcast episode about?
2:41
Hang on. How does this relate to the topic? Well,
2:45
here's the thing. I have some sad news. The only
2:50
swimming we'll be doing this episode is in Sorrows.
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And you heard me right, folks. We have a very
3:00
summery topic today. That is, if you think of
3:05
summer when you hear the words death. Dying.
3:09
Inevitable doom. Mortality. Guys, that's supposed
3:14
to be a serious moment. I don't know why it's
3:21
funny because it's all going to happen to us.
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I don't think any of those words make me think
3:28
of summer. I mean, maybe if it's high 80s, 90
3:36
degrees, yeah. No, but, like, that's usually
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how I felt. If I felt any sort of dread when
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I was younger during the summer, it's because
3:44
I knew every day it was a little bit of school
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coming closer. You can't just, like, live in
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a moment? No, I had extreme anxiety. Do you live
3:55
life now to its fullest, or are you too scared
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of dying, Angela? No, I'm medicated now, so I'm
4:00
better. That wasn't an answer. Welcome to our
4:08
podcast, where we take deep dives looking at
4:10
various topics through a paranormal lens. Angela
4:15
mentioned, because one of our questions we did
4:17
in the 50 questions for episode 50 episode. Now
4:22
it's a tongue twister. Angela said that she is
4:25
the only one amongst us that the paranormal,
4:28
investigating the paranormal, actually changed
4:30
the way she views death and dying. Because that
4:33
was a question we asked each other. Has investigating
4:36
haunted places changed how you think about death?
4:39
No. No. It's changed more about how I think about
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living than it has dying. That's true, too. No,
4:47
it definitely changed for me. Really? Yeah. What
4:51
changed? I mean, that could be a whole deep dive.
4:55
All right, stay tuned. My question is... How
5:02
does it not change your guys' views on death?
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I guess I'm not sure, because I've always believed
5:14
in ghosts, so it doesn't really change my perception
5:19
on death. And also being very heavily raised
5:27
Catholic, ghosts, spirits... what have you. It's
5:33
still a mystery as to what they are, where they
5:36
came from, and why they're here. And in Catholicism,
5:42
one of the biggest things is ghosts are just
5:46
here to trick you. They're not all actually your
5:49
passed away loved ones. But I also believe that
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it is a form of purgatory where they're trapped
5:57
between. Here in the next life, wherever that
6:00
may be. And there is some parts of Catholicism
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where that rings true, where some spirits are
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allowed to come through the veil of purgatory
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and ask for forgiveness, prayers, help from the
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living. And that's where we get ghosts from.
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But there's also that belief that ghosts are
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not. like i said our loved ones and they're actually
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demons and spirits trying to trick us and cause
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us to sin so like the the perception of ghosts
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being there and investigating them has not changed
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how i view death of the afterlife that's the
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thing though because if this is you've always
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believed that and still up to now it's like of
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course it's not going to change the way you think.
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I mean, definitely with doing more in the paranormal
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and growing up and learning more and learning
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more in Catholicism and being able to understand
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more and having these experiences, yeah, it definitely
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has broadened my horizon and helped me understand
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things more, but I don't think it's changed that
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baseline understanding of death in the afterlife
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well that goes and i was going to ask you brie
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if it's a case of you haven't seen any evidence
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to change your view but is it a case of you just
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didn't see anything to change your view so your
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view stays the same or did you have you seen
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evidence that confirms your point of view and
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your i feel like i haven't really seen anything
7:42
that's changed my view but but have you seen
7:47
things that like confirm like Yeah, what I've
7:49
been thinking in my viewpoint. I mean, not really.
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So you haven't seen any evidence either way?
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Yeah, exactly. I feel like that is something
8:00
hard. Like, death and afterlife is... It's one
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of the things that paranormal investigators are
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always like, oh, we're investigating the paranormal
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so we can learn more about the afterlife. No
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one ever has any answers. Nobody ever gets answers.
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That's not the reason why I do paranormal investigation.
8:23
Like, I don't see the reason or need to try to
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find those answers. So to have or be seeking
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an experience that changes my viewpoint. Like,
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yeah, if it happens, cool. But like also at the
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same time, I'm not actively seeking that out,
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I guess, because that's not going to, I don't
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know. How would you even prove what happens after
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death from a paranormal investigation? So are
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you with me? When you first started nine years
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ago with me, at the very beginning versus now,
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would you say this statement is accurate? Like
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when I first started, like when I first started,
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I thought. Like maybe if we got like a class
9:13
A EVP or an apparition that proved there were
9:16
dead people, that we persisted after death as
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an intelligent being. Now, if I see a full body
9:23
apparition or I hear an EVP, I'm thinking this
9:27
doesn't prove anything. Even if it's legitimate,
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there's a million possibilities that even the
9:32
possibilities could be. Because like you said,
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I have a broader conception of what. we experience
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which i think is totally separate from like even
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a religious point of view that's why i don't
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like the whole like demon stuff too because it's
9:45
a very religious perspective on something even
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if it's real that's a religious perspective that
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explains the same thing you know i think they're
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kind of separate you can't really you can have
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a religious point of view that's different than
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like the stuff we do is improving Because an
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EVP, what's an EVP going to do? Is that going
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to change your... If you capture full -bodied
10:06
apparition, are you going to think about religion
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differently or anything? Or do you have that
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in separate parts of your mind? I feel like they're
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kind of separate in my mind. Just because I don't...
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I don't know. I guess they're kind of just separate
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in my mind. My viewpoint in going into paranormal
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investigating, especially when I first started
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nine years ago, I wasn't trying to prove like,
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oh, everything's a ghost. Because I kind of came
10:38
into the mindset to always be skeptical and not
10:41
think everything was a ghost. I came in with,
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is there some sort of paranormal activity? Is
10:48
there haunting? I'm not trying to seek answers
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as to what a haunting is if it is a ghost. And
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I still feel like I'm that way now. Especially
10:58
now we're getting more into territory where we're
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like, oh, there is a lot more residual energy
11:07
hauntings than we realized originally. So I think
11:12
now is more trying to prove or trying to collect
11:19
evidence as to what the haunting is and not,
11:23
and if there is a haunting, not, is there a ghost?
11:28
Like, does that make sense? Yeah. And to your
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point too, I think, would you agree? Like over
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the nine years, we haven't necessarily proven
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or disproven quote unquote ghosts, but I think
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the farthest we've come is like, we've, we've
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broadened our kind of knowledge or kind of theories
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on like what could be happening yeah absolutely
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isn't that the great thing though because when
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we all first started i most likely for you guys
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too it's like you would you see assume that oh
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you get a evp or you see a full body apparition
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or you see something move from on its own that's
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automatically like proof that like ghosts exist
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or something but now it's more we're going on
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and more we're experiencing and things about
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stuff over the years there's all these other
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different factors that could be attributing to
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those things that we have heard or witnessed
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and like this experience in general that it's
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like it might not even be ghost yeah really it's
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it's more of establishing whether or not there
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is some sort of paranormal unexplainable activity
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like that's the evidence that we're collecting
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i because nothing we've ever collected has pointed
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to like our own afterlife i can't think of any
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examples in the paranormal field where someone
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has captured like an edp or a ghost or something
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that's been like oh this is proof of the afterlife
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or proof of what comes after death. You'll hear
13:18
about that, but it's not in the paranormal field.
13:20
You'll hear about it in the religious field of
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people seeing an apparition of a saint. Listen,
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this is a very Angela answer, so apologies. She's
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rubbing off on me with her morbid, fucked up
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shit, but unless we do an investigation, and
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in the middle of the investigation, we actually
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document someone dying, and watch the soul leave.
13:45
Sure, yeah, and then we watch the soul leave
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the body. Yeah, we're not going to actually get
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any evidence. Unless that actually happens to
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us. Unless one of us actually dies and we come
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back to life and we tell everyone about it. Yeah,
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but you know what I'm saying? If you document
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someone's soul leaving the body during an investigation,
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you have the thermal camera, you see the heat
14:07
come up, and then they walk up to you and you're
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like, hey, I'm still here. But that was kind
14:13
of the point that I was getting into. As paranormal
14:17
investigators, that isn't the kind of evidence
14:19
that we're finding, or that's not even the realm
14:21
of things that we're looking at. You see those
14:24
sorts of things more on the religious side, like
14:27
people who do, like, die and come back to life,
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and you hear about, like, their experience afterwards,
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or like I said, people who are seeing apparitions
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of saints, or those sorts of things. Like, you
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don't hear about that stuff in the paranormal.
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you hear about it more in mainstream media or
14:49
like religious yeah or like all of the like people
14:55
dying and coming back to life they're all like
14:58
extremely not i don't want to say extremely really
15:01
they're religious people i'm thinking of like
15:04
the the movie in the book heaven is for real
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and something else too and yeah you know like
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they're all christian based mm -hmm like you
15:16
never once here okay so isn't because this might
15:19
be a surprise to you but a lot of people do or
15:23
would say that near -death experiences and all
15:26
of what we're talking about is very much in the
15:28
same realm as paranormal but also the thing is
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it is but those same people also approach the
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paranormal from a religious point of view yes
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do you yeah do you know i feel like that's hypocritical
15:42
almost What is? Maybe. Like, they go about, like,
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talking about specifically talking about, like,
15:54
the religious part of it. Talking about, like,
15:58
oh, you know, you died and you come back and
16:00
you talk about, like, what you experienced in
16:02
the afterlife or blah blah blah and stuff like
16:04
that. And in my mind, I clump that into the paranormal
16:08
still. Because the paranormal is the unknown.
16:13
ghost and all that stuff and afterlife is unknown
16:16
so you're going they're talking about things
16:20
that happen afterlife that's unknown so they're
16:24
talking about the paranormal but then it's then
16:27
they shit on people who do paranormal it says
16:31
this is a topic i was not expecting to be so
16:35
deep no i mean death dying hysterical um but
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yeah i mean my the reason i said no was because
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i think the paranormal is taught more about life
16:52
especially how to live life now and types of
16:56
things and especially with the whole dweller
16:58
and the threshold stuff too um i mean obviously
17:02
that's uh your own shadow self and uh overcoming
17:07
um parts of yourself and ego and all that stuff.
17:12
So it does teach you a lot about yourself, especially
17:14
the woo -woo stuff. So I think there's a lot
17:17
to learn about life in the paranormal more than
17:19
afterlife. If it teaches you about life, then
17:23
it teaches you about the afterlife. They go hand
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in hand. Does it? Do you think how you live now
17:30
informs what happens after you die? This is what
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I think. Okay. So. i don't think what you do
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during life really i mean it might to a certain
17:43
extent but like i don't know like you're you're
17:47
talking about live life it teaches you about
17:52
life yeah how to live life okay and if i've ever
17:56
learned anything so far with doing the paranormal
17:58
do what you enjoy be a good person follow your
18:04
heart that's like or whatever that type of woo
18:08
-woo shit it reflects in your afterlife too because
18:13
you're fulfilling your purpose here on earth
18:15
i'm just thinking you what medications you got
18:19
because they taught you that same thing years
18:21
ago who taught me this same stuff your medication
18:24
live life now don't worry about death be happy
18:28
you're saying i didn't have to go something for
18:32
nine years i could just got a prescription no
18:39
Oh, goodness me. God. Oh, God. Do you believe
18:45
in God? Because you said yes. I believe that
18:48
there's some sort of higher power, whatever that
18:51
God may be. Initially on the episode we did where
18:55
we brought up this topic, you said that it changed
18:59
the way you view about death because you no longer
19:02
believe in hell. Can you elaborate on that? yeah
19:07
i don't believe there's a hell growing up i mean
19:09
i was christian growing up and you know i was
19:13
taught by my parents and specifically my mom
19:17
sorry if you ever listened to this mom not meaning
19:20
to call you out not like she will listen to this
19:22
but i'll send it to her and and like when i was
19:29
in youth group In, like, middle school and high
19:32
school and stuff like that, they drilled it into
19:34
you, saying, like, there's heaven and hell type
19:37
of situation. And if you don't do the blah, blah,
19:40
blah, and just obey God, then you're going to
19:42
be in hell and burn for eternity and stuff like
19:45
that. And I'm just like, first of all, I mean,
19:48
when you're a kid and you keep hearing this stuff
19:51
and you grew up like that, you're going to believe
19:53
it. But in the back of my mind, I was always
19:56
like, well, if God loves you. And they always
20:01
say it's about free will or whatever. That's
20:06
a whole other topic. Free will. What exactly
20:08
is free will? But free will... You think we're
20:14
the spokespeople of free will? Anyway, I'm just
20:19
saying. That's the thing. We have a choice to
20:23
follow God or not to follow God. If you don't
20:25
follow God, then you're going to go to hell.
20:29
But that's part of free will. But if God really
20:32
loves us, then he wouldn't torture us like that.
20:34
And that was always in my mind. Never once agreed
20:36
with it. Never once understood that whole statement
20:39
about hell and why God would send someone to
20:41
hell because of that. Because that's not a very
20:43
godly thing to do. And it's just kind of like,
20:46
I don't know. I'm going on a rant. I'm sorry.
20:50
What else? Let me tell you something. If you
20:55
didn't talk, we wouldn't have a podcast. i'm
21:02
don't stop yourself and and it's just and all
21:06
i'm saying is once i started the paranormal and
21:10
this is that was more the the fact that i was
21:13
like dad you're going to indiana state sanatorium
21:16
with me we're doing a ghost hunt for 12 hours
21:18
throughout the night mom you're driving me there
21:20
they weren't like my dad was like he was he was
21:24
cool he was skeptical but my mom was like didn't
21:26
really like it I know a lot of my other family
21:29
doesn't like it. My mom describes it as an embarrassment.
21:32
She doesn't like to talk about what I do for
21:35
fun to people because it's embarrassing and stuff
21:38
like that. And I'm just saying, like, it doesn't
21:43
make sense. Huh? Maybe I'll send it. maybe i'll
21:48
send this to all of her friends too i'll make
21:49
a group chat i'm i'm just saying all of this
21:52
just leads up to it and once i rebelled and started
21:56
doing the paranormal and because i always believed
22:00
in ghosts too since i was a kid there's not one
22:02
single specific experience that has happened
22:05
that made me want to believe in ghosts i just
22:07
always have believed in ghosts but it just made
22:12
me realize because once i did started doing the
22:15
paranormal i started looking into other religions
22:18
and spirituality and witchcraft and all that
22:22
other stuff and i just realized like nothing
22:25
really matters do what makes you happy do what
22:29
you believe is your purpose what calls to you
22:32
that's the point of life and i believe that's
22:36
what god or whatever higher creed person made
22:40
us is why we're here you know we're here just
22:43
to enjoy earth even though it's not enjoyable
22:47
sometimes and stuff like that so when you die
22:51
i don't think it really i don't think it really
22:54
matters what happens while you're living does
23:05
this all make sense I could go, I could go more
23:07
- It's kind of bittersweet. It's bittersweet.
23:08
I was just about to say, you were gonna say I
23:11
could keep talking, and I was just about to say,
23:13
I'm just gonna stay as, like, I was thinking,
23:15
I'm just gonna stay quiet and see how long she
23:19
will keep adding to the silence. No, but here,
23:25
I got more too, so this is - About time! Maybe
23:28
we just, like, the reason she doesn't talk much
23:30
on this podcast, maybe we just need to be quiet,
23:32
just like have a staring contest, or just see
23:34
what she comes up with. Okay, I'm almost done.
23:37
Another thing, too, though, is that while growing
23:40
up, you know, I always... I blinked. I blinked,
23:45
too. Like what we were saying, how it's like
23:49
the religious people are the ones who criticize
23:51
and shit on the people for doing the paranormal
23:55
most of the time. And in my mind, I never understood
24:00
that. I know what they say, like, you shouldn't
24:05
be messing with the other side, you shouldn't
24:06
be doing witchcraft, because that's what the
24:08
Bible says and stuff. But what I don't understand
24:12
is that specifically, like, if our whole point,
24:18
if you're going off of Christianity and the Bible,
24:22
and you should try to be like Jesus and be a
24:25
good person as much as possible. And this is
24:29
another reason why I like to do the paranormal,
24:31
because I like to try to find the secrets of
24:33
the universe to be as much like Jesus. Like,
24:36
I still believe in Jesus. I believe that he was
24:38
a good person and that we should follow him as
24:42
a person because of all like he's a good person,
24:46
you know. But to do that, don't you need to experiment
24:52
with the other side or whatever? to understand
24:57
his perspective and what he was like as a person
25:02
the most adam and eve eating from the tree was
25:08
like that was a big no -no because god said them
25:11
not to but i'm like if you ate from the tree
25:15
don't you gain all the powers from the universe
25:18
or whatever and understand everything and if
25:20
you Yeah, the knowledge. And then if you gain
25:23
all the knowledge, can't that unlock being like
25:25
Jesus the most? You know what I mean? It just
25:29
never made sense to me. Did it frustrate you
25:32
when they said she got all the knowledge and
25:34
didn't say what the knowledge was? Yeah. was
25:38
there those like i think some of that stuff is
25:40
in like the quote banned books of the bible which
25:43
would make sense why they don't like that stuff
25:45
being part of the book bible but i don't know
25:48
i'm i'm going on a big rant but all this just
25:51
goes into the fact and changed my view on death
25:56
because all this stuff all these ideas thinking
26:01
outside of the box of just regular christianity
26:05
made me realize there could be a lot more out
26:07
there i don't know just overall it just makes
26:10
me think about death differently and that it
26:13
doesn't really matter and that there will never
26:16
be one known fact so just do what you enjoy doing
26:21
and you'll be fine and just be a good person
26:23
i feel like we're all saying to some degree that
26:27
the paranormal has taught us a lot about life
26:33
varying degrees about the afterlife if at all
26:36
but still is it an accurate assessment to say
26:40
it it does seem to teach you more about life
26:43
than the afterlife yeah i'm still sticking to
26:47
my answer that but yes afterlife go hand in hand
26:51
though yes yes yes but it does teach you without
26:56
a doubt about life now and how Like, everyone
27:02
should be a ghost hunter. They'd probably be
27:07
less miserable. I don't think everyone was meant
27:10
to be a ghost hunter. I don't think everyone
27:13
was meant to be here on Earth to try to figure
27:16
out this. I thought you were going to stop and
27:20
be like, I don't think everyone was meant to
27:21
be on Earth. That too. Even though we have, like
27:27
I said, even though we have varying degrees of
27:29
our own opinions on... the afterlife and our
27:33
own upbringings and life experience and perspectives
27:36
play into that. I think the one thing that seems
27:39
to be true for all of us, like I said, is it
27:42
does teach you a lot about life. Now, if that
27:44
goes hand in hand with the afterlife, hey, that's
27:47
good. Or if it doesn't, it doesn't. All right,
27:51
cool. We'll find out what happens when we die.
27:54
Yeah, or not. Maybe there is nothing. Maybe there's
27:57
nothing. Darkness. I thought you were going to
27:59
say. Or not. We're not going to die. We're going
28:02
to be immortal. You never know. I found a fountain
28:09
of youth. It will become vampires and it will
28:12
stay alive until someone stabs us in the heart
28:16
with a stake. Yes. Or a sun. Or garlic. I'm pretty
28:24
sure garlic doesn't kill vampires. No, I think
28:27
it just harms them. God, I'd rather die than
28:29
be a vampire. I don't want to be a vampire. God,
28:33
no, I would enjoy it for a little bit. I would
28:36
like to just scare people with me being a vampire
28:40
for a little bit and then die once I had enough.
28:44
I feel like nowadays, uh... Like, with all the
28:47
vampire romantasy that's out there, you would
28:52
not get the scare factor that you think you would,
28:55
Angela, unfortunately. Well, thanks for discussing
28:59
summer with me. This really was a high point
29:03
of the season. Yeah, summer and existential dread.
29:08
Thank you very much. A lot of sun in this episode,
29:12
be it the sun in the sky or the sun of God. Amen.
29:22
This is the first time I've heard that rendition,
29:25
Angela. I got too much stuff going on in my brain.
29:30
You made my brain go like... Thanks for listening
29:37
to this week's episode of Paranormal Lens. If
29:40
you liked what you heard, every five -star rating
29:42
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29:45
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29:49
We appreciate each and every one of you, and
29:52
we'll see you next Thursday for another paranormal
29:54
deep dive.