Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: How To Make Friends As An Adult With Kristina Rodulfo

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#HURDLEMOMENT: How To Make Friends As An Adult With Kristina Rodulfo · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: You have to be with people who are excited to
0:01
Speaker 1: see you, who see your light, appreciate your light, that
0:05
Speaker 1: love what you bring to the table. And what's the
0:07
Speaker 1: point of having a lukewarm relationship where it's not really
0:11
Speaker 1: exciting at all, you know, and there's not really any
0:15
Speaker 1: spark there. It's kind of like, what are you doing?
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Speaker 1: Are you just doing it to like occupy your time?
0:19
Speaker 1: And there's so many other things that you could possibly
0:21
Speaker 1: be doing. If a relationship is lukewarm, maybe best to
0:25
Speaker 1: step back.
0:40
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily a body here bringing you another installment
0:45
Speaker 2: of Hurdle Moment from her at All. Now, if you're
0:47
Speaker 2: new to the show, welcome, I'm happy to have you.
0:50
Speaker 2: Let me give you the stick about what Hurdle Moment
0:53
Speaker 2: Wednesdays are all about. On the Hurdle Moment episodes, I
0:58
Speaker 2: am tackling the topics that are on your mind, often
1:02
Speaker 2: related to popular messages I'm getting in my inbox or
1:04
Speaker 2: my dms, or topics of conversation in the Super Secret
1:08
Speaker 2: Hurdler's Facebook group. Now, if you're not in, that link
1:11
Speaker 2: to join in is in the show notes. So related
1:14
Speaker 2: to those I connect with top experts to give you
1:18
Speaker 2: the information The tips, the tricks that you need to
1:21
Speaker 2: live healthier, happier, more motivated lives. So today's topic, I
1:26
Speaker 2: am diving into friendship, specifically how to make friends as
1:32
Speaker 2: an adult, and it is certainly something that I've navigated
1:34
Speaker 2: both between getting older and having friends leaving the city,
1:38
Speaker 2: and so to rap about this, I am bringing in
1:40
Speaker 2: one of my good friends, Christina Rudolfo.
1:43
Speaker 3: She's a beauty editor, speaker.
1:45
Speaker 2: And host and also, as she says in her Instagram bio,
1:48
Speaker 2: which we laugh about today, your new beauty bff.
1:52
Speaker 3: We talk about it all in today's episode.
1:54
Speaker 2: From strategies to making friends, where to find said friends,
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Speaker 2: what to do if you want to befriend someone that
2:01
Speaker 2: you only know via social media, how to deal with
2:05
Speaker 2: someone that may not want to be your friend, what
2:08
Speaker 2: you do if you go on a friend day and
2:09
Speaker 2: you're just not driving the right way to walk away
2:12
Speaker 2: from that potential non friendship, and how to protect your boundaries,
2:16
Speaker 2: How to be smart in your friendship so that you're
2:19
Speaker 2: really getting both the most out of the relationship.
2:23
Speaker 3: And looking out for your best interest.
2:26
Speaker 2: Lots of good stuff in here. Super grateful to Christina
2:28
Speaker 2: for her time. If you don't follow her on Instagram.
2:32
Speaker 3: Do it. The link to do that is in the
2:33
Speaker 3: show notes.
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Speaker 2: I am just blown away by her wealth of knowledge
2:37
Speaker 2: on all things beauty. And if you need a solid
2:40
Speaker 2: foundation or mascara recommendation, Christina is your girl. Of note,
2:44
Speaker 2: this episode did originally run in twenty twenty one, but
2:47
Speaker 2: I've been getting so many messages about female friendships that
2:50
Speaker 2: I felt that now was the perfect time to drop
2:53
Speaker 2: it back into the feed. Sure you're following along on
2:55
Speaker 2: Hurdle over at Hurdle Podcast. You can find me over
2:58
Speaker 2: at emily A Bye, and I put this call in
3:01
Speaker 2: last episode, but I'm hunting listener questions for a special
3:05
Speaker 2: listener questions episode. The link to leave me a voice
3:08
Speaker 2: message to have your voice featured on the show is
3:11
Speaker 2: in the show notes. That's it for now. With that,
3:15
Speaker 2: let's get to it. Let's get to Hurdling.
3:31
Speaker 3: Today.
3:32
Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with Christina Rudolfo. She is known to
3:35
Speaker 2: many as their beauty BFF. She's also a writer and editor,
3:39
Speaker 2: a host, a good friend of mine.
3:42
Speaker 3: Hi.
3:43
Speaker 2: Hi, if you're going to be my beauty BFF, then
3:46
Speaker 2: you can be my actual BF.
3:47
Speaker 4: I'm everyone's just actual BFF.
3:51
Speaker 3: I love that for you. I love that for us.
3:53
Speaker 2: You and I were chatting the other day and I
3:55
Speaker 2: was talking to you about a concern that arised in
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Speaker 2: the c at Hurdler's Facebook group, which was that everyone
4:02
Speaker 2: is chatting about how to make friends when you get older.
4:06
Speaker 4: It's so tough.
4:07
Speaker 3: It's so tough.
4:08
Speaker 1: It's something that people don't warn you about.
4:10
Speaker 4: That along with you know.
4:12
Speaker 1: Saving, saving for your four oh one k and you know,
4:16
Speaker 1: all this, all the all the real life things that
4:18
Speaker 1: no one really tells you when you're a kid.
4:20
Speaker 2: No one really tells you. And friends come and go
4:22
Speaker 2: as you become an adult. Because when you're younger and
4:25
Speaker 2: you're mostly staying in the same place, you're going to
4:28
Speaker 2: elementary school, middle school, high school, Okay, cool, you've got
4:30
Speaker 2: like a solid chunk of time there. Then you go
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Speaker 2: to college and you meet all of these people and hey,
4:35
Speaker 2: you're going to be there for four years. Cool, great
4:37
Speaker 2: solid chunk of time there. Then you go through a
4:39
Speaker 2: little transition when you move to wherever you're going to move.
4:42
Speaker 2: But after that, like all bets are off, like everyone
4:45
Speaker 2: can go anywhere.
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Speaker 1: It's so unpredictable too, especially this past year. You know,
4:51
Speaker 1: we've been seeing so many people leaving the city and
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Speaker 1: moving across the country and quitting their jobs, or just
4:57
Speaker 1: having such huge life changes that just sets everybody on
5:01
Speaker 1: different paths. And it also happens with life milestones too,
5:04
Speaker 1: you know, people getting married, people having kids. That just
5:07
Speaker 1: changes the dynamic of friendships as well. So as you
5:10
Speaker 1: get older and you're trying to, you know, find your
5:12
Speaker 1: core group of people or just your person, you know,
5:15
Speaker 1: it's it gets really hard and lonely. And I think
5:19
Speaker 1: that something people don't really think about is how to
5:23
Speaker 1: maintain friendships as an adult, just because it all becomes
5:27
Speaker 1: all about convenience and proximity.
5:30
Speaker 2: It is very difficult, and I think what you just
5:32
Speaker 2: said is really important that it can become about proximity
5:35
Speaker 2: or convenience. Like when you get older and you have
5:39
Speaker 2: good friends and you happen to end up in different locations,
5:43
Speaker 2: those relationships no longer are because of convenience.
5:47
Speaker 3: These are relationships that you have to choose to both
5:50
Speaker 3: work on.
5:51
Speaker 2: If one person is willing to put in a hell
5:54
Speaker 2: of a lot of effort into your friendship and the
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Speaker 2: other person isn't, it could be because of a circumstance
5:59
Speaker 2: or something going on in their life. Or maybe they
6:01
Speaker 2: just don't have the capacity or the interest. Sometimes you've
6:04
Speaker 2: got to walk away from that kind of friendship.
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Speaker 1: Yes, and that is sometimes the most difficult thing because
6:10
Speaker 1: speaking as a very sentimental person, you know, whenever I
6:13
Speaker 1: have history with somebody, if I grew up with them,
6:16
Speaker 1: if we work together, you know, you just have that
6:19
Speaker 1: sense of closeness that might not exist in the present moment.
6:23
Speaker 1: But because you had that closeness before, it gets so
6:25
Speaker 1: hard to let go of that. If you know that
6:29
Speaker 1: life season is over. And this is another thing. You know,
6:31
Speaker 1: it's like sometimes friends just come for a season in
6:34
Speaker 1: your life and that's okay. You know, I had a
6:37
Speaker 1: hard time really letting go of people, and as I've
6:40
Speaker 1: gotten older, I've become more comfortable with the idea because
6:43
Speaker 1: everyone's just you know, trying to make it on their
6:45
Speaker 1: own and just doing their best. And it gets really hard.
6:48
Speaker 1: But you know, if you really care about a relationship,
6:52
Speaker 1: you're going to put in the effort. I always compare
6:54
Speaker 1: it to dating because it's so similar. You know, like
6:56
Speaker 1: whatever energy you're putting out, the other person has to
6:59
Speaker 1: be putting in the same amount of energy. Because I
7:01
Speaker 1: can't tell you the number of times I feel like
7:03
Speaker 1: I've put my energy out there and like tried to
7:05
Speaker 1: connect with people and it wasn't reciprocated, and I felt
7:09
Speaker 1: almost rejected in a way, you know, like, oh, you
7:12
Speaker 1: don't want to be my friend?
7:14
Speaker 4: Why not? What's wrong with me?
7:15
Speaker 1: But I've come to realize that if you know, people
7:18
Speaker 1: don't see your light or if they don't respond to you,
7:20
Speaker 1: then it's okay, you could keep going.
7:23
Speaker 2: And we just kind of jumped like right into the
7:25
Speaker 2: swing of things here and wrapping about friendships and whatnot.
7:27
Speaker 2: But really, what I think we want to focus on
7:30
Speaker 2: today is chatting about strategies to implement to possibly make
7:37
Speaker 2: new friends as you get older.
7:39
Speaker 3: Correct, Yes, okay, So I do want to.
7:41
Speaker 2: Touch on before we get into like these specific actionable takeaways,
7:45
Speaker 2: to touch on what you were saying about letting friends go,
7:49
Speaker 2: because I think that's the hardest thing. And it wasn't
7:51
Speaker 2: until I think I had my first friend breakup, so
7:54
Speaker 2: to speak, maybe like four or five years ago. I
7:57
Speaker 2: had just gotten out of a long term relationship, and
8:01
Speaker 2: I will lie I was going through it and like
8:03
Speaker 2: I was completely like self serving, self focused, and I
8:08
Speaker 2: think at that time, you know some people that I
8:13
Speaker 2: was close with, or perhaps an individual that I was
8:16
Speaker 2: close with, like maybe just didn't want to entertain that
8:19
Speaker 2: kind of friend which was difficult for me at the
8:21
Speaker 2: time for sure, But the way that she went about it,
8:24
Speaker 2: I'll never forget that, Like she.
8:26
Speaker 3: Just completely ghosted me.
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Speaker 4: Oh gosh.
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Speaker 3: It was so sad.
8:30
Speaker 2: It was very similar to like an actual romantic breakup
8:33
Speaker 2: in that I just had placed so much trust in
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Speaker 2: her and I relied on her, and then one day
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Speaker 2: she just stopped answering all my messages.
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Speaker 1: Oh man, I feel the pain of that. Yeah, I
8:45
Speaker 1: feel that for sure.
8:46
Speaker 3: It was hard.
8:47
Speaker 2: It was hard, and you know what, With time though,
8:49
Speaker 2: because that was the first time that something like that
8:51
Speaker 2: had happened to me, I came to learn what you
8:55
Speaker 2: just referenced, which was that some relationships have seasons, including friendships,
9:00
Speaker 2: and you're not going to be a person for everybody. Yes,
9:04
Speaker 2: I recognize again, like I said at the start of
9:06
Speaker 2: that small little story blip, that I was in a
9:09
Speaker 2: certain place and I actually had reached out to her,
9:13
Speaker 2: uh and wrote her a letter.
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Speaker 4: Oh wow, like a handwritten letter.
9:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, old school, and I apologized that I had not
9:20
Speaker 2: been in the best place and I'm sorry if I
9:24
Speaker 2: had made her feel like what was going on in
9:26
Speaker 2: her life didn't matter and that I really cared about
9:28
Speaker 2: her and I never heard back.
9:30
Speaker 1: Wow.
9:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, I actually removed her as an Instagram follower. Oh wow,
9:34
Speaker 3: well years later.
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Speaker 1: That is one of the best tools that you have
9:38
Speaker 1: on Instagram, especially if someone is taking up your mental
9:41
Speaker 1: space for whatever reason. If you're this is like a
9:44
Speaker 1: different topic, I guess, but if you're posting something and
9:46
Speaker 1: you're worried about what so and so will think about
9:48
Speaker 1: what you're posting, or because all of us get caught
9:51
Speaker 1: up in that, just remove them as a follower.
9:53
Speaker 3: Yeah.
9:53
Speaker 2: And I only realized, like recently that I could do that.
9:56
Speaker 2: I thought you, I thought the only option was to
9:59
Speaker 2: block someone, But you you can just remove them and
10:01
Speaker 2: then they'll go to Instagram one day and they'll be like,
10:02
Speaker 2: wait when did I Unfollow'll be like.
10:06
Speaker 4: It's the best thing. It's a very empowering attack.
10:09
Speaker 3: Okay.
10:09
Speaker 2: So I hope that we just educated all of you
10:12
Speaker 2: on ways to better your mental health on social media.
10:14
Speaker 2: Now we're going to talk about strategies for making friends
10:16
Speaker 2: as you get older. So as Christina and I spoke about,
10:19
Speaker 2: we became better friends over the last year and change.
10:23
Speaker 3: What would you attribute that to.
10:25
Speaker 1: It's so weird because I feel like I've been following
10:27
Speaker 1: you on Instagram before I even met you in person.
10:30
Speaker 1: I think that we just because we work in media,
10:33
Speaker 1: we had a lot of mutual people that we know
10:35
Speaker 1: and hang out with. So I think that after following
10:39
Speaker 1: you on social media for a while and like responding
10:41
Speaker 1: to each other on dms and comments and things, I
10:44
Speaker 1: had a familiarity with you that I felt like, Oh,
10:47
Speaker 1: why don't we just hang out in real life? And
10:49
Speaker 1: I think that you know, you're so great about reaching
10:52
Speaker 1: out and like creating plans and following through with plans,
10:55
Speaker 1: which is such a big hurdle, you know for people
10:58
Speaker 1: when they're creating friendships, just to make that first move.
11:00
Speaker 1: It's kind of like I felt nervous, like, oh, we're
11:04
Speaker 1: you know, we're Instagram friends, but like, can we be
11:06
Speaker 1: like real life friends? Because I think you're really cool and.
11:10
Speaker 2: And I think sometimes like just saying that to start
11:13
Speaker 2: off with something you just said or hinted at, was
11:16
Speaker 2: that you felt like you and I had a lot
11:17
Speaker 2: in common. Yes, And I think that having something in
11:21
Speaker 2: common but also reaching out to people who you feel
11:23
Speaker 2: like have similar values to you. The reality is is
11:28
Speaker 2: that and you've heard this on the show before, but
11:30
Speaker 2: you are some of the people that you keep closest
11:32
Speaker 2: to you. So as you get older, I'm in the
11:34
Speaker 2: mental space that there isn't like a lot of time
11:37
Speaker 2: for bullshit, for lack of a better term, like I
11:40
Speaker 2: don't need just extra friends to collect in my friend basket.
11:44
Speaker 2: If I'm going to invest in a relationship and give
11:47
Speaker 2: someone some of my time, which I think we can
11:49
Speaker 2: all agree is one of our most valuable things, then
11:53
Speaker 2: you want to make sure that that's someone in your
11:54
Speaker 2: life that adds to your life, that builds you up,
11:57
Speaker 2: that encourages you, that you are align with, because why
12:00
Speaker 2: are you going to waste time on something that doesn't
12:02
Speaker 2: fill those buckets?
12:03
Speaker 4: Absolutely?
12:04
Speaker 1: And I think that you know, just like any other relationship,
12:07
Speaker 1: it's something that builds organically. I think that there's nothing
12:10
Speaker 1: that replaces like real life connection. So no matter how
12:13
Speaker 1: much you interact with somebody on social media, and I
12:16
Speaker 1: think a lot of us fall into this trap as well,
12:18
Speaker 1: where you think that social media interactions also amount to
12:22
Speaker 1: an actual friendship, but again, nothing replaces seeing a person
12:26
Speaker 1: in real life, looking at them in the eye, sharing
12:28
Speaker 1: your actual.
12:29
Speaker 4: Energy with them.
12:30
Speaker 1: I think that that is what can help grow closeness
12:34
Speaker 1: to people. And I think social media is like such
12:37
Speaker 1: an amazing tool for being introduced to somebody, you know,
12:41
Speaker 1: like it opens the door up to friendship. And I
12:44
Speaker 1: have met so many people through Instagram because we would
12:47
Speaker 1: follow each other and then we're in the same city
12:50
Speaker 1: and they ask me to coffee, and next thing you know,
12:52
Speaker 1: we're going to dinner, and next thing you know, we're
12:54
Speaker 1: going to drinks. And I think that it's just such
12:56
Speaker 1: an organic way to find like minded people because you
13:00
Speaker 1: already have a sense of what they like, and you
13:02
Speaker 1: also already have something to talk about. So I see
13:05
Speaker 1: something that you post on your Instagram stories or on
13:08
Speaker 1: your feed, and I'm like, oh, like, I see you
13:09
Speaker 1: just you finished a race, and you did and you
13:12
Speaker 1: had an amazing accomplishment, and that's something that I can
13:14
Speaker 1: ask you about because it's already on your social media.
13:17
Speaker 1: And likewise, with me, if you see that I do something,
13:19
Speaker 1: or if you see that I'm posting about a beauty product,
13:21
Speaker 1: you can ask me a question about it, you know.
13:23
Speaker 1: I feel like it just helps establish so many points
13:26
Speaker 1: of connection. And taking that offline is you know, it
13:31
Speaker 1: can be nerve wracking because you don't again, you don't
13:33
Speaker 1: want to feel rejected by anybody, but you just go
13:37
Speaker 1: for it. Don't be afraid to be the first person
13:39
Speaker 1: to say hi.
13:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I mean saying hi is one thing.
13:42
Speaker 2: Making an actionable plan is another thing. So if you
13:45
Speaker 2: actually want to get together with someone, I would suggest
13:49
Speaker 2: proposing like a very specific thing that the two of
13:52
Speaker 2: you could go do. So it's not just like, oh,
13:55
Speaker 2: would you want to hang out next week? It's like, no, Hey,
13:58
Speaker 2: do you want to get a glass of wine next week?
14:00
Speaker 2: Do you want to meet up for coffee next week?
14:02
Speaker 2: Just be mindful about what it is exactly that you
14:05
Speaker 2: want to do with that person because when you take
14:08
Speaker 2: some of the decisions out of the equation, it's just
14:11
Speaker 2: like committing to a workout routine or becoming a morning person.
14:14
Speaker 2: The better you set up yourself to do either of
14:16
Speaker 2: those things, be a morning person, have a good workout routine.
14:19
Speaker 2: The less decision making that you have to do in
14:21
Speaker 2: the moment, the more likely you're going to stick with it.
14:24
Speaker 2: So when it comes to proposing this hang so to speak,
14:27
Speaker 2: make it easy on that person accommodate them. You could
14:30
Speaker 2: even do something like, Hey, I'm going to be in
14:32
Speaker 2: your area next week. Now, don't be creepy. But I
14:36
Speaker 2: remember when I went on an informational interview in college.
14:38
Speaker 2: I went and met with a deputy web editor or
14:41
Speaker 2: something at Shape magazine, and I was living in Connecticut,
14:44
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm so going to be in
14:45
Speaker 2: the city next Thursday. Could you have some time just
14:48
Speaker 2: for me to ask you a few questions? Was not
14:50
Speaker 2: going to be in the city next Thursday, And I
14:51
Speaker 2: was like, let us do it, and she was like.
14:53
Speaker 3: Sure, you can come for lunch.
14:54
Speaker 2: And I was like, great, that's so I went in
14:57
Speaker 2: and I was like a junior in college and I
14:59
Speaker 2: took the train into this and met up with her.
15:01
Speaker 2: Long story short, you can do that with friends potential friends.
15:05
Speaker 2: Just be like, Hey, I'm going to be in Brooklyn
15:07
Speaker 2: next week or New York next wherever you're going to be.
15:10
Speaker 2: If you actually happen to live, like in a proximity
15:12
Speaker 2: where this would make sense, but make it easy for them,
15:15
Speaker 2: ask them to do something in their neighborhood, and then
15:17
Speaker 2: if you two click the next time, you might not
15:20
Speaker 2: have to travel so far.
15:21
Speaker 3: To put an effort on this relationship.
15:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm big on making a calendar invite as well
15:26
Speaker 1: and treating it just like any other appointment on your calendar.
15:29
Speaker 3: This is why you and I are cool.
15:31
Speaker 4: And Emily is so good about this too.
15:33
Speaker 1: She always sends a calendvite and like, love this girl,
15:36
Speaker 1: because it's like that's kind of what sets it in
15:39
Speaker 1: stone and makes the plans very real and everyone knows
15:42
Speaker 1: exactly what time, exactly what place, and then you can
15:44
Speaker 1: always follow up with each other on other details. And
15:47
Speaker 1: I just think that making that commitment to each other
15:50
Speaker 1: on the calendar, it just like solidifies it.
15:53
Speaker 3: Oh, one hundred percent.
15:54
Speaker 2: Okay, So the first tip was someone's going to make
15:58
Speaker 2: the ask, So get out, get out of your comfort
16:00
Speaker 2: its own, maybe ask someone to do something. The next
16:02
Speaker 2: tip is be specific in that ask. So if you're
16:05
Speaker 2: going to ask someone to do something, make sure that
16:08
Speaker 2: you are giving them a very detailed proposal of what
16:11
Speaker 2: you would like to do, maybe within reason, Like don't
16:13
Speaker 2: be like you can also wear your black tank top
16:15
Speaker 2: and your black jeans, I'm gonna be wearing heels.
16:17
Speaker 3: What are you gonna be wearing?
16:18
Speaker 2: Like?
16:18
Speaker 1: Maybe not yet, maybe not combine activities either, you know,
16:21
Speaker 1: like we're gonna get coffee and then we're gonna do
16:23
Speaker 1: a workout class and then we're gonna do lunch.
16:25
Speaker 4: And I think that's a bit much.
16:26
Speaker 2: It's a little it's a little much, because remember even
16:29
Speaker 2: though if you're if you're courting this friendship based off
16:32
Speaker 2: of social media, you still don't know a lot about them,
16:35
Speaker 2: Like you might think.
16:35
Speaker 3: You know a lot about them, but you don't know.
16:37
Speaker 3: It's a date, just like a date is a date.
16:39
Speaker 2: So you could go on this one outing and it
16:42
Speaker 2: could be great, or you could go on this outing
16:44
Speaker 2: and be like, not my style. And there's nothing wrong
16:47
Speaker 2: with either of those. Now that we've covered those two
16:50
Speaker 2: introductory tactics, what you got for me, Christina?
16:53
Speaker 1: So I would say, especially as people start going back
16:56
Speaker 1: into offices and working in an office environment, that's probably
16:59
Speaker 1: the best that you can make friends, honestly. And I
17:02
Speaker 1: know that some people say you shouldn't like mix personal
17:05
Speaker 1: with professional, but I couldn't, you know, I would disagree,
17:09
Speaker 1: just because having people in your workplace is so crucial
17:12
Speaker 1: to you, just your well being and thriving in that environment.
17:15
Speaker 1: So I think making the transition from work friends to
17:19
Speaker 1: IRL friends is something that a lot of people wonder
17:23
Speaker 1: how to do. Say you like somebody that you work
17:25
Speaker 1: with and they are really cool. I would say that
17:29
Speaker 1: you should start out with like start small, like get
17:31
Speaker 1: lunches during the work day or get coffee during the workday,
17:35
Speaker 1: and then after that, you know, if you guys are
17:38
Speaker 1: really vibing well, then you can invite them to a
17:42
Speaker 1: group thing, you know, like you have a casual birthday drinks,
17:45
Speaker 1: then you invite them and then that could turn into
17:47
Speaker 1: dinner later that month. You know. I feel like it's
17:50
Speaker 1: like any other relationship, just things happened organically and you
17:54
Speaker 1: have to give it some time, you know. Like I
17:57
Speaker 1: have made some of my closest friends in my adulthood
18:00
Speaker 1: within the past few years from my workplace, and a
18:02
Speaker 1: lot of times they were people and I didn't even
18:04
Speaker 1: work with directly. We were just in the same company.
18:07
Speaker 4: You know.
18:07
Speaker 1: We would see each other in the cafeteria. We would
18:09
Speaker 1: see each other by the watering the watering hole.
18:12
Speaker 3: Watering hole, by the water color.
18:16
Speaker 2: This is like like IRL, mean girls in the cafeteria
18:19
Speaker 2: when they're all like scraping at each other's just what
18:22
Speaker 2: it was.
18:22
Speaker 4: A watering hole.
18:23
Speaker 1: But yeah, And I think another thing is when you
18:26
Speaker 1: leave a job, making sure to maintain those friendships that
18:29
Speaker 1: you really enjoyed, just because it's so easy again to
18:32
Speaker 1: get caught up in only wanting convenience or proximity. So
18:37
Speaker 1: I have a really good friend. Her name's Alyssa, and
18:40
Speaker 1: we work together. We met in twenty fifteen and we
18:43
Speaker 1: were both working at l and she still works there
18:46
Speaker 1: right now. But she's so amazing at maintaining friendships because
18:49
Speaker 1: she really makes the effort all the time, and she
18:53
Speaker 1: plans themed parties where she invites people, she plans picnics,
18:57
Speaker 1: and you know, it's just I'm like, well, she's she's
18:59
Speaker 1: a maid.
19:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, can be my friend.
19:03
Speaker 1: Alyssa's wonderful. She but she she's just so great because
19:07
Speaker 1: she constantly follows up with you and checks on you.
19:11
Speaker 1: And I think that's another thing too, like don't and
19:14
Speaker 1: you're so good at this too, like don't be afraid
19:16
Speaker 1: to just check in, just to check in.
19:19
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
19:19
Speaker 2: And that's a good point when it comes to making
19:21
Speaker 2: solid friendships as you get older, it's really really important
19:25
Speaker 2: to make sure that it is a two way street.
19:27
Speaker 2: I talked about a time where I wasn't in the
19:29
Speaker 2: mental space to provide that for a friend, so I
19:31
Speaker 2: can understand why that might have been troublesome. You want
19:34
Speaker 2: to make sure if you're establishing a new friendship with
19:37
Speaker 2: someone that it is a true give and take. We
19:40
Speaker 2: don't have time to you know, div dilly dabble, divvy
19:45
Speaker 2: dp dilly.
19:46
Speaker 3: Daddle, dilly daddle.
19:47
Speaker 2: We don't have time to dilly daddle in like surface
19:51
Speaker 2: level relationships. We are looking for the real If you're
19:55
Speaker 2: looking for like a surface.
19:57
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm not here to talk to you
19:58
Speaker 3: about surface level relationships.
20:00
Speaker 4: Who has time for that.
20:01
Speaker 1: I'm just like, life is too short men, and you
20:03
Speaker 1: want to have every relationship in your life add value
20:06
Speaker 1: to your life.
20:07
Speaker 3: I feel that.
20:07
Speaker 2: So, yeah, you want to make sure that as you
20:09
Speaker 2: go about your friend making journey that you are establishing
20:13
Speaker 2: give and take relationships and that again you feel filled
20:17
Speaker 2: up by these relationships. Now, another tactic that we can
20:21
Speaker 2: chat about when it comes to making friends. And you
20:24
Speaker 2: kind of brought this up with your work friend, kicking
20:27
Speaker 2: things off perhaps in a group way, if you're not
20:30
Speaker 2: ready to go one on one again with the pandemic,
20:33
Speaker 2: that kind of method has been a little difficult. Hopefully
20:36
Speaker 2: for many of us in some sort of safe capacity,
20:38
Speaker 2: opportunities like this may be coming back. So why do
20:42
Speaker 2: you think, Christina that the group paying is a great
20:45
Speaker 2: way to kind of get in with someone.
20:48
Speaker 1: I think it takes the pressure off of you. You know,
20:51
Speaker 1: one on one can be awkward, honestly, especially if you've
20:54
Speaker 1: never seen if you are social media friends, for example,
20:57
Speaker 1: you've never met in real life. It can be really
20:59
Speaker 1: awkward if you don't know somebody. So when you have
21:02
Speaker 1: a group, I feel like it helps because there's always
21:05
Speaker 1: going to be one or two other people or however
21:07
Speaker 1: many other people there to kind of add to the
21:10
Speaker 1: conversation to make it feel more comfortable. And honestly, I've
21:14
Speaker 1: met people through groups a lot. I feel like, you know,
21:18
Speaker 1: one time a friend invited me to go get dim
21:20
Speaker 1: sum with her friends, and I didn't know anyone else there.
21:23
Speaker 1: I just knew her and we were work friends, and
21:26
Speaker 1: that was so much.
21:27
Speaker 4: Fun, you know.
21:28
Speaker 1: And then one girl that was at that brunch we
21:31
Speaker 1: ended up going to a Broadway show together, just the
21:33
Speaker 1: two of us, not with my other friends. So it's
21:35
Speaker 1: kind of like, you never know. I'm a big proponent
21:38
Speaker 1: of going alone to functions, to social events, someone's birthday
21:42
Speaker 1: party or you know, afterworks drink thing, even if no
21:46
Speaker 1: one that you know is really going to it, or
21:49
Speaker 1: if you're not close to anyone who's really going, just
21:51
Speaker 1: because you really never know what connections you can make
21:54
Speaker 1: there and what people are there. And I think when
21:56
Speaker 1: I'm alone at an event and I don't have anyone
21:58
Speaker 1: to kind of lean on, a lot of times I
22:00
Speaker 1: become a lot more open and social, like you're kind
22:03
Speaker 1: of forced to say hi to people and introduce yourself.
22:14
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24:05
Speaker 2: If you happen to be a single woman listening to
24:08
Speaker 2: this show, you may feel some kind of way about
24:11
Speaker 2: the fact that some of your friends are in relationships,
24:15
Speaker 2: they are married, and you may be like, well, this
24:18
Speaker 2: person can't go somewhere without their person, Like, don't make
24:22
Speaker 2: that decision for them.
24:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, people make that assumption about me sometimes because you know, Michael,
24:28
Speaker 1: my fiance and I are like joined at the hip,
24:30
Speaker 1: but most of the most of the time, but a
24:32
Speaker 1: lot of times we make the point to really hang
24:35
Speaker 1: out with our friends separately because it's so necessary to
24:38
Speaker 1: just have like individual lives apart from each other.
24:40
Speaker 4: And in order to you know, foster those relationships.
24:44
Speaker 1: You need to make sure that you're like watering that garden,
24:46
Speaker 1: you know, just because you're in a relationship. And I've
24:48
Speaker 1: seen this happen to other friends of mine. You know,
24:51
Speaker 1: you get in a relationship and all of a sudden,
24:53
Speaker 1: that person is your world. You don't really see anyone
24:55
Speaker 1: else outside of your bubble. And I totally understand that
24:58
Speaker 1: honeymoon phase, you know, but after a while, you really
25:01
Speaker 1: need to take stock of your relationships and ask yourself,
25:05
Speaker 1: when is the last time I saw the person I
25:07
Speaker 1: call my best friend?
25:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like, if you are the friend of this person,
25:13
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean that this person because they have a partner,
25:17
Speaker 2: doesn't feel lonely like you feel lonely sometimes, like they're
25:21
Speaker 2: going through their day just like you're going through your day,
25:25
Speaker 2: and there is still a need for that companionship that
25:29
Speaker 2: they need outside of that partnership. So again I would
25:33
Speaker 2: just say, and this is kind of a total tangent,
25:35
Speaker 2: but just don't throw them into a box that they
25:38
Speaker 2: didn't ask to be put in. Yes, okay, cool, I'm
25:42
Speaker 2: glad that we had that little chat. So back to
25:45
Speaker 2: friendship making strategies.
25:46
Speaker 1: What do you got take up a new hobby where
25:49
Speaker 1: you'll see familiar faces. So I have friends who are
25:52
Speaker 1: very into indoor climbing, and because it's a very tight
25:56
Speaker 1: knit community, they have met some of their closest friends
25:59
Speaker 1: through that. Even though I'm not an indoor climbing person,
26:01
Speaker 1: I see that and I'm like, that is such a
26:03
Speaker 1: cool thing. You know, as we get older, a lot
26:06
Speaker 1: of times our lives revolve around work and just socializing
26:10
Speaker 1: at work, doing things at work, thinking about work. So
26:13
Speaker 1: it's so essential to create hobbies outside of your job.
26:17
Speaker 1: And seeing my friends get into indoor climbing over the
26:20
Speaker 1: last few years has been so cool. And also you
26:23
Speaker 1: literally need somebody there to help you with billaying. So
26:26
Speaker 1: it's kind of like you even if you go alone,
26:28
Speaker 1: you have to approach somebody being like, hey, can you
26:31
Speaker 1: spot me? Or I don't know if that's the right terminology, sorry, climbers.
26:35
Speaker 1: Other things that I've seen people get into that are
26:37
Speaker 1: very cool, as like pottery, you know, like going to
26:40
Speaker 1: pottery class, taking up sewing lessons. Like when you're in
26:43
Speaker 1: a class environment, you're already in a kind of ecosystem
26:46
Speaker 1: of people who you have to collaborate with. So I
26:49
Speaker 1: feel like those are great ways to meet new people.
26:51
Speaker 4: Have you ever done that?
26:53
Speaker 3: Yeah?
26:53
Speaker 2: No, I definitely see that here in the New York
26:55
Speaker 2: running community. And I think that there are a couple
26:57
Speaker 2: of different approaches to getting involved in something like that, right,
27:00
Speaker 2: So the first step is actually getting involved, putting yourself
27:03
Speaker 2: in that situation, which in itself is kind of a
27:05
Speaker 2: big win for many putting yourself out there. And then
27:09
Speaker 2: in that scenario, if you meet someone that you really
27:11
Speaker 2: vibe with, that's when you can be like, hey, do
27:13
Speaker 2: you want to grab a drink after practice? Or Hey,
27:16
Speaker 2: like I'm doing this thing on Saturday, would you want
27:18
Speaker 2: to come with me? Now? I understand that putting yourself
27:21
Speaker 2: out there in that way can feel a little bit intimidating.
27:25
Speaker 2: So look to that club or organization because often times
27:30
Speaker 2: in situations like that, there are going to be different
27:33
Speaker 2: opportunities to continue to engage with these people outside of
27:37
Speaker 2: just like that once weekly practice or whatever you have
27:40
Speaker 2: going on. And also something else I'll add to this
27:42
Speaker 2: is you have to go into that scenario feeling really
27:45
Speaker 2: open to the idea of making friendships, which means like
27:49
Speaker 2: when you get there, you're not like standing in the
27:52
Speaker 2: corner on your phone. If someone looks at you, like,
27:55
Speaker 2: smile at them. Making friends is just it's a two
27:58
Speaker 2: way street. And if you're not there giving off that vibe,
28:01
Speaker 2: giving up the vibe that you want to be friendly,
28:03
Speaker 2: that you want to get to know these people, then
28:06
Speaker 2: you won't make friends period. Just being there isn't enough.
28:11
Speaker 1: I love that you're saying this because I think with
28:15
Speaker 1: our phones and all of us glued to our phones,
28:17
Speaker 1: especially in this city, that can be very antisocial, you know,
28:21
Speaker 1: everyone in their own bubbles. I think that it's so
28:24
Speaker 1: important to engage with people face to face, you know,
28:27
Speaker 1: say hello, introduce yourself, put on a big smile.
28:30
Speaker 2: And I feel like I hear it even though none
28:32
Speaker 2: of you are actually here with us, but I hear
28:35
Speaker 2: your questions. You're like, but I'm still I'm just not
28:37
Speaker 2: in the place where I want to be in big groups,
28:39
Speaker 2: like what am I supposed to do? And there are
28:41
Speaker 2: plenty of ways to engage with like minded people online.
28:45
Speaker 2: I'm not just going to like sit here and plug
28:47
Speaker 2: the Secret Hurdler's Facebook group.
28:49
Speaker 3: If you like.
28:50
Speaker 2: Something like a podcast, like a TV show, like a magazine,
28:55
Speaker 2: like a whatever, there are groups that center around that product.
29:01
Speaker 2: And just like we were saying about social media before,
29:04
Speaker 2: this gives you a mutual interest to talk to other
29:07
Speaker 2: people about in that space.
29:10
Speaker 3: So maybe in.
29:12
Speaker 2: The digital world you'll see that a podcast you love
29:16
Speaker 2: is hosting a workshop. Well, that digital workshop is a
29:20
Speaker 2: great place for you to jump in and meet like
29:22
Speaker 2: minded people. You're both there because you're into the same thing,
29:25
Speaker 2: and that is a great jumping off point.
29:28
Speaker 4: Clubhouse has been great for that.
29:30
Speaker 1: If you guys don't know, it's an app that's audio
29:32
Speaker 1: based and you can go into rooms with different topics
29:34
Speaker 1: and obviously everyone in the room is interested in the topic,
29:37
Speaker 1: and then a lot of people link their social media
29:39
Speaker 1: accounts to Clubhouse because we can't actually chat on the app,
29:42
Speaker 1: and I haven't been on it as much lately, but
29:44
Speaker 1: it's been amazing for meeting people, Like there was another
29:48
Speaker 1: woman who's also in the beauty industry who met me
29:51
Speaker 1: through Clubhouse, and we live in the same neighborhood. So
29:53
Speaker 1: we're planning to go get coffee. And that wouldn't have
29:55
Speaker 1: happened if I didn't just walk into that virtual room.
29:58
Speaker 2: I adore that. I adore that. Okay, so other friendship
30:02
Speaker 2: making strategies, what do you have for me?
30:04
Speaker 1: I think you can ask friends to set you up
30:07
Speaker 1: in the same way that they would set you up
30:08
Speaker 1: with a romantic partner.
30:09
Speaker 3: I dig this, I really dig this.
30:12
Speaker 1: Yes, expand Yeah, So say you move to a new city,
30:15
Speaker 1: or say you're visiting a city and you're gonna be
30:17
Speaker 1: there for a while. I think it's it's fun to
30:20
Speaker 1: just ask people that you're already friends with if they
30:23
Speaker 1: know anyone in the area that they think that you
30:25
Speaker 1: would vibe with, because chances are, if you have a
30:27
Speaker 1: mutual friend, you probably would get along with each other too,
30:30
Speaker 1: and then you already have a common point to talk
30:32
Speaker 1: about as well. How did you meet so and so
30:34
Speaker 1: that's such an easy entryway into a conversation.
30:36
Speaker 4: You never know who.
30:37
Speaker 1: Knows somebody who likes the same thing that you do.
30:40
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a friend who's always introducing
30:42
Speaker 1: people via email. You know, she's like, Christina likes Broadway musicals.
30:46
Speaker 1: This person likes Broadway musicals. You guys should like just
30:49
Speaker 1: get to know each other. And sometimes at first that
30:52
Speaker 1: took I was taken aback by that because I was like, Oh,
30:54
Speaker 1: that's such a strange thing to do. But when I
30:56
Speaker 1: think about it, actually, no, it's just expanding your horizons.
30:59
Speaker 2: All So think that now would be a good time
31:02
Speaker 2: for us to maybe rap a little bit about when
31:05
Speaker 2: to fall back, right. So two things to kind of
31:10
Speaker 2: throw into the mix here. The first thing is, like
31:13
Speaker 2: I said before, if you get together with someone and
31:17
Speaker 2: you're like kind of realizing that it might not be
31:19
Speaker 2: your vibe, there's no shade in that at all. What
31:22
Speaker 2: you do in that situation next is completely up to you.
31:28
Speaker 2: You can just kind of in a gracious way, I
31:30
Speaker 2: would say, bow out a little bit, what would you
31:33
Speaker 2: do in that situation?
31:35
Speaker 4: I think the.
31:35
Speaker 1: Mutual ghost is something that happens a lot if friends,
31:39
Speaker 1: if a friendship isn't not working out for bad reasons,
31:42
Speaker 1: you know, but maybe you just didn't really vibe with
31:44
Speaker 1: each other like you thought you would, or our schedules
31:46
Speaker 1: are conflicting and you just you can't put in the
31:49
Speaker 1: time to create that relationship, you know. I think that
31:53
Speaker 1: it's okay to kind of just step back from it
31:56
Speaker 1: and again, like you said, always be kind and if
31:59
Speaker 1: you see them again, it's okay you could just say, hey,
32:01
Speaker 1: maybe you'd want to pick it up again. Maybe there's
32:04
Speaker 1: something else that you guys can connect on, but if not,
32:06
Speaker 1: it's all right to kind of let that go.
32:08
Speaker 2: I would also say, be aware of what's actually happening, Like,
32:14
Speaker 2: don't tell yourself stories about what could be happening. So
32:18
Speaker 2: if you notice that with someone who maybe isn't your
32:22
Speaker 2: best friend, if you keep asking them to get together
32:25
Speaker 2: and they keep not getting together, then give them the space,
32:30
Speaker 2: Like you deserve a better friend than that, and that
32:34
Speaker 2: person can't give you whatever it is that you're looking for,
32:37
Speaker 2: and there's no shade in that they could be going
32:39
Speaker 2: through something that you have no idea.
32:41
Speaker 3: What's going on.
32:42
Speaker 2: Let them, let them deal with whatever they have to
32:46
Speaker 2: do on their own time. And maybe just maybe seek
32:50
Speaker 2: out that friendship in someone else, at least for the
32:52
Speaker 2: time being. That doesn't mean that you can't check in
32:54
Speaker 2: again in like a few months. But if you keep
32:57
Speaker 2: checking in and keep checking in and keep checking in
32:59
Speaker 2: and that person isn't giving you something, then let them go.
33:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, preach, you have to be with people who are
33:05
Speaker 1: excited to see you, who see your light, appreciate your light,
33:09
Speaker 1: that love what you bring to the table. And my
33:11
Speaker 1: favorite thing to say to friends, whether it's romantic relationships
33:14
Speaker 1: or friendships or anything, is what's the point of having
33:16
Speaker 1: a lukewarm relationship?
33:18
Speaker 3: Yeah?
33:18
Speaker 1: You know where it's not really exciting at all, you know,
33:23
Speaker 1: and there's not really any spark there. It's kind of like,
33:26
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Are you just doing it to
33:27
Speaker 1: like occupy your time? And there's so many other things
33:30
Speaker 1: that you could possibly be doing. If a relationship is lukewarm,
33:33
Speaker 1: maybe best to step back.
33:35
Speaker 3: Best to step back.
33:36
Speaker 2: And I also think that this is a good time
33:38
Speaker 2: for us to touch on the idea that if you
33:42
Speaker 2: find yourself with a lot of those lukewarm relationships, which
33:45
Speaker 2: I think can unfortunately happen, especially as we're talking about
33:48
Speaker 2: over the pandemic, a lot of people moving, a lot
33:50
Speaker 2: of things in flux. If you find yourself with a
33:53
Speaker 2: lot of those types of relationships, I would encourage you
33:57
Speaker 2: to focus on the things that bring you joy, maybe
34:00
Speaker 2: more than these lukewarm relationships. So there can be a
34:04
Speaker 2: lot of things that you can do with your time
34:06
Speaker 2: that don't involve just putting yourself in situations that don't
34:10
Speaker 2: make you feel good, that don't fill you up.
34:13
Speaker 4: Yeah.
34:13
Speaker 1: And I've definitely been in that position before where I
34:16
Speaker 1: didn't say no or I didn't set a boundary, and
34:18
Speaker 1: I felt like, oh, why am I here, you know,
34:22
Speaker 1: sitting through you know, something that I don't want to
34:25
Speaker 1: be at, And you know, I wasn't really honoring myself
34:28
Speaker 1: because I was afraid to be alone.
34:30
Speaker 3: Yeah.
34:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean all of these really really really
34:33
Speaker 2: really important topics, especially as we're getting older and kind
34:36
Speaker 2: of redefining what it means to be independent or be
34:39
Speaker 2: a good friend or be a good partner.
34:41
Speaker 3: What else do you want to rap about?
34:43
Speaker 1: I feel like the last point that I would make
34:45
Speaker 1: is be open to apps, because there are apps that
34:48
Speaker 1: exist that compare you with friends. I know, bumble does.
34:52
Speaker 1: I actually wrote a story a couple of years ago
34:55
Speaker 1: about using one of these apps. I don't think it
34:58
Speaker 1: exists anymore, but I use one of these apps to
35:01
Speaker 1: try and find a friend because I realized that my
35:04
Speaker 1: friend group was only my childhood friends, and because everyone
35:07
Speaker 1: is still in New York City and I grew up here,
35:09
Speaker 1: it's kind of easy to just be in that comfort zone.
35:12
Speaker 1: But I was eager to make other friends as well.
35:14
Speaker 1: And I think when I tried out this app, it
35:17
Speaker 1: was very much like a dating app. You create a profile,
35:20
Speaker 1: you kind of swipe through other people's profiles, and you
35:22
Speaker 1: see they like the same music that you do, or
35:26
Speaker 1: that you both like fitness classes and whatnot. So I
35:29
Speaker 1: remember matching with a girl and we decided to get
35:31
Speaker 1: drinks with each other, and it was as if we
35:34
Speaker 1: had known each other for so long, you know, and
35:36
Speaker 1: the experience completely surprised me. I remember when we had
35:40
Speaker 1: drinks with each other, we actually realized that we both
35:42
Speaker 1: love the same hip hop dance cardio class. And I
35:47
Speaker 1: was because I would go to that class by myself
35:48
Speaker 1: and wish that I would had a friend to go
35:50
Speaker 1: with because it's Vixen. Yeah, so it's like, you know,
35:55
Speaker 1: Beyonce inspired. I came across it like through just work,
35:59
Speaker 1: and then when I decided to take a class, I
36:01
Speaker 1: was like, this is so much fun. I wish that
36:03
Speaker 1: I had friends who were into this, but course none
36:05
Speaker 1: of my friends were into this. So I was like,
36:06
Speaker 1: all right, well, I'm going to go buy myself to
36:08
Speaker 1: these classes. It's great, shake it out like sweat a
36:11
Speaker 1: ton and have so much fun. But I remember when
36:13
Speaker 1: we were when I was having drinks with this girl,
36:15
Speaker 1: she ended up telling me, oh, there's this hip hop
36:17
Speaker 1: dance cardio class that I love, and I was like, no, wait, wait,
36:21
Speaker 1: wait wait, And I remember we connected on this and
36:23
Speaker 1: then after we got drinks, decided to go and go
36:26
Speaker 1: to a class together and that was so much fun
36:28
Speaker 1: and unexpected. And again it was all from meeting somebody
36:31
Speaker 1: on an app.
36:32
Speaker 3: I love that. I love that well. I hope that
36:35
Speaker 3: this was very helpful.
36:36
Speaker 4: I hope so too.
36:37
Speaker 1: There's so much to say on this topic, because as
36:39
Speaker 1: you get older, things change even more, you know, like
36:42
Speaker 1: you said, people keep moving away, people have career changes,
36:45
Speaker 1: people's priorities change as well. And I think the older
36:50
Speaker 1: we get, the more isolated we get in a way
36:53
Speaker 1: with our lives.
36:55
Speaker 2: And I would say, if you're listening to this and
36:57
Speaker 2: you came here because you are feeling alone or lonely,
37:02
Speaker 2: or that you're just like in this really stuck place
37:04
Speaker 2: with your friendships, know that you are not alone in that,
37:08
Speaker 2: and that is very real and something that literally everyone
37:12
Speaker 2: struggles with. And remember again that what you see on
37:16
Speaker 2: social media isn't the full picture. So you might think
37:19
Speaker 2: that you know that someone is super filled up in
37:21
Speaker 2: their relationships and you see them out and they're doing
37:24
Speaker 2: all these things, but you don't know how they really feel.
37:26
Speaker 2: So don't judge yourself based on the highlight reel of
37:30
Speaker 2: someone else, and stay true to yourself. Be willing to
37:33
Speaker 2: put yourself out there and good things could come from it.
37:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, just be yourself. There are people out there who
37:38
Speaker 1: will appreciate you and meet you where you are. I
37:40
Speaker 1: think that you should never forget just how special you are.
37:44
Speaker 1: And I think it's so easy to because it's easy
37:47
Speaker 1: to compare ourselves and our lives to other people and see, oh,
37:51
Speaker 1: they have such a strong friendship group. I wish I
37:53
Speaker 1: had that friendship group, or like, oh they have you know, such,
37:57
Speaker 1: like you said, such a full life. But don't compare
37:59
Speaker 1: yoursel you are so special. Don't forget it. Someone out
38:03
Speaker 1: there will appreciate you.
38:04
Speaker 2: Christina, how do the hurdlers keep up with you? How
38:07
Speaker 2: do they follow along with you? Give us all of
38:09
Speaker 2: the details.
38:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could find me on at Christina Rodolpho k
38:13
Speaker 1: R I S T I N A R O d
38:15
Speaker 1: U l f O on all social platforms.
38:18
Speaker 4: I love to DM people.
38:19
Speaker 2: She loves to dm people. Get ready, your new BFA
38:23
Speaker 2: is waiting in the messages. I'm over at Emily Body
38:26
Speaker 2: and at Hurdle Podcast Another Hurdle conquered.
38:29
Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.