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What happens when you tell a narcissist the truth about themselves? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what is one thing that will set a narcissist off?
• 0:05
  One, one thing that you can do to set almost any narcissist off
• 0:10
  in the world to make them lose their damn minds.
• 0:13
  What's what? What's that one thing?
• 0:14
  That's what we're going to talk about today, y'all.
• 0:17
  What happens when you tell the narcissist the truth about
• 0:19
  themselves? If you're new here, my name is
• 0:23
  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
• 0:26
  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:47
  Hey, I look, I'm not saying I'm just saying what yo?
• 0:53
  You know one thing that almost universally pisses most
• 0:59
  narcissists off is when you tell them the truth about themselves.
• 1:05
  It is crazy, isn't it? Narcissistic people?
• 1:09
  Toxic people? Absolutely it's going to look
• 1:11
  especially when the truth is not savory.
• 1:15
  Of course, that's why I say almost any narcissist, right?
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  When you tell them the truth about themselves, how people
• 1:21
  really truly view them, how most people that interact with them
• 1:25
  don't really care for them or don't really like them, a lot of
• 1:28
  them are absolutely positively going to lose their root and
• 1:32
  Tooting mind. That's y'all.
• 1:35
  That's just I said root and Tooting like I talk like like
• 1:39
  Woody and buzz right rooting Tooting that you're my favorite
• 1:43
  deputy. But that's going to positively
• 1:47
  make a lot of narcissistic people lose their minds when you
• 1:51
  just open your mouth and tell them the truth about themselves.
• 1:54
  Because as you might know, as most people might know,
• 1:58
  narcissist have a very fragile ego.
• 2:01
  You know, you notice I said narcissist, not some narcissist.
• 2:05
  All this is one of the things that y'all know if y'all follow
• 2:09
  me for any amount of time, y'all know that one of the things I
• 2:11
  try not to do is I try not to speak in absolutes.
• 2:15
  I try not to speaks, speaks, speak in absolutes about
• 2:19
  narcissists, right? I try to make it because no, no
• 2:21
  two narcissists are the same. But in this instance right here,
• 2:25
  this might be the one absolute the, the fragility, the fragile
• 2:30
  ego, the sensitive to criticism, the sensitivity to criticism.
• 2:34
  If you, if narcissistic people have this inflated ego about who
• 2:40
  we actually are and how people actually view us, right?
• 2:43
  And then you hit us with the truth.
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  You might make, you might, you might see us snap.
• 2:49
  You literally might see us snap and lose our damn minds because
• 2:52
  we can't handle the truth about ourselves.
• 2:55
  Like, I literally just saw this video, right with this woman.
• 2:59
  I'm probably going to react to it on my other channel, but I
• 3:03
  saw this video of this woman like literally sitting in bed
• 3:06
  with a with a, with a man, right?
• 3:08
  And he was just berating her. He was like you fat, you ugly.
• 3:12
  Nobody wants you, you and she was.
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  He knew. He knew that she was recording.
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  He knew that she was recording. He said he's a you fat, you
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  ugly, nobody going to want you, you, you stupid.
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  You got no education. You got kids like you worthless.
• 3:27
  You lucky I even want to be with you.
• 3:30
  And then and she was like, I'm recording you.
• 3:32
  She's like, I don't care about you.
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  He's like, I don't care about that damn phone.
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  I don't care about that damn phone.
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  I do not care about that damn phone.
• 3:38
  And then you know what she said she just she just got she's
• 3:40
  like, well, yeah, I might be fat, but at least I ain't broke.
• 3:42
  At least I ain't got no, at least I ain't broke with no job
• 3:44
  and no car. He snapped and hit her while the
• 3:47
  camera was running. He literally snapped and hit her
• 3:51
  while the camera was running. He didn't care.
• 3:55
  He said she's like well, like I might be fat, but Lisa, I ain't
• 3:58
  broke with no job and call myself a man.
• 4:00
  He's like and he lost his mind because although he felt like he
• 4:04
  could put her down, as soon as the truth was told about him, he
• 4:09
  just he literally erupted. Now if that wasn't true, he
• 4:14
  wouldn't have said nothing. He just joked it off like I got
• 4:15
  money, I got a car. But because he is broke, because
• 4:19
  he is jobless, because he is pretty much a bum, for lack of a
• 4:22
  better word, right. And he's got, and I know people
• 4:25
  are going to say, well, well, Lee, she got kids bombed.
• 4:28
  So is she is she a bum? Hey, some people we didn't
• 4:30
  trick, right? But some people, hey, hey, but
• 4:36
  she was she, he really did go through the process.
• 4:38
  He was like, soon as he heard the truth about himself, even
• 4:41
  though he was belittleing her, berating her, as soon as he
• 4:44
  heard the truth about himself, he lost his mind.
• 4:50
  Literally, literally popped off at this woman because she
• 4:53
  decided to have the audacity, the unmitigated goal to say what
• 5:00
  is absolutely not, not even a subjective truth, the objective
• 5:04
  truth about this person. He lost his mind.
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  He got became violent, right? That's why I'm just saying
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  sometimes when you have to speak your truth to a narcissist, will
• 5:13
  you want this close your conversations?
• 5:15
  Will you want to tell them how you feel?
• 5:16
  That's why they get to that's why they attack.
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  And by attack, yeah, when I say that's why they attack is not
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  always going to be a physical retribution, right?
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  Sometimes they'll have an emotional reaction and they give
• 5:28
  you that emotional retribution. Well, they'll give you the
• 5:30
  silent treatment, right? They refuse to talk to you.
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  They'll give you the silent treatment.
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  They'll, they'll, some of them will ghost you.
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  Some of them will Stonewall you. They'll pretend you don't exist.
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  Like it's not always rage. Well, I, I, I, I'm, I'm a
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  believer that the silent treatment is rage, right?
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  I call the silent treatment rage.
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  I say this, I call it silent rage.
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  But this is what happens. This is part of what goes on.
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  A lot of people, narcissistic people, toxic people deal with
• 6:00
  this. This is one of the situations
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  like even in my own mind, I have this inflated ego, right?
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  When people tell me the truth about myself, that break that
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  breaks me, that knocks me off of this pedestal in my mind, that
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  rocks this pedestal that shakes my mind and breaks my heart
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  about myself. That kind of brings me back to
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  the reality of my life and not this fantasy world.
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  When you try to, when you crack the delusion, that's when they
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  lose it. When you crack the delusion,
• 6:29
  that's when they lose it, of course, like telling the truth
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  about themselves, telling telling them the truth about
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  themselves when they are doing something good can help stroke
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  their ego, right? It just, it kind of depends on
• 6:41
  what position that you're in, in this relationship.
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  Because if you're in a good position in a relationship,
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  telling them the truth about themselves helps serve you,
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  doesn't it? It does.
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  But like, because you can stroke their ego and damn near you can
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  damn near manipulate them to get what you want from them in this
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  circumstance when you're stroking their ego and when
• 7:00
  you're saying what you need to say about them, when you're
• 7:01
  doing what you need to do to them.
• 7:03
  Like that can help you in a certain circumstances, right?
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  Lee, how do I get a narcissist to do what I want them to do?
• 7:08
  Stroke their ego, right? Especially you have to inflate
• 7:12
  their ego. Like if it's something small,
• 7:14
  you got to make it feel like it's huge, right?
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  But to them, it's keeping them in the delusions.
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  It's keeping them is you're not shattering their reality because
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  that would actually happens. You end up shattering their
• 7:26
  reality and they lose their damn minds.
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  They lose their other loving minds and they can't do anything
• 7:32
  about it other than have this visceral reaction towards you
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  and towards other people who are also bringing them out of their
• 7:39
  delusion. And This is why you get a lot of
• 7:42
  abusive, manipulative, narcissistic people that do this
• 7:45
  type of stuff. And I know y'all was like, well
• 7:47
  Dang, Lee, what can we do? Like like the truth?
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  What if they know? If they don't like the truth
• 7:53
  being told about them, why don't they just treat us better?
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  Because they don't. They feel like they don't have
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  to. That'd be real if the
• 8:01
  relationship has any type of longevity to it.
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  They feel like they don't have to treat you better because
• 8:07
  you're already here with them. Why do I need to treat you
• 8:10
  better if you're already with me?
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  If we're already in a relationship, if I've already
• 8:16
  how to So if I've already bagged you, then why do I need to put
• 8:19
  in any additional work? That doesn't make any sense to
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  me right? I already bagged you, but I So I
• 8:24
  need to continue to treat you better.
• 8:25
  No, I treated you good to get you.
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  Why do I need to continue? Oh yeah, y'all know I don't cut
• 8:32
  the videos, but that's little baby sneaks.
• 8:34
  Why do I need to continue to treat you good?
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  I did it already. It's crazy.
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  It is crazy. You know you're not a good
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  parent, right? Yeah, of course.
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  Use discretion when you're telling them the truth about
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  themselves. You know you're not a good
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  parent, right, RA? You know you're a deadbeat,
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  right? RA And it's the truth.
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  They think they're good. They think they're a good parent
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  because they are physically present, right?
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  They, they, they're a good parent because they see their
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  kids one time out in a month. I'm a good parent.
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  You know, some people don't see they some people don't see their
• 9:03
  kids 0 times. At least I see them once.
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  See that made me a good parent. I'm already, I'm not AI can't be
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  a deadbeat because I got at least one beat.
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  Like if there's 30 beats in a month, dead beat means there's
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  no beats, right? A dead beat means there's no
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  beats. I see my kids once a month, so
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  there's one beat. If I were to hook up an EKG to
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  you, an EKG machine that measures your heartbeat, if it's
• 9:27
  flat line, there's no beats. If you were dealing with me
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  because I see my kids once a month, that's do you see?
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  That's a beat. That's what the hell?
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  I just say, What the hell did I just say?
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  Yeah, that's that's that's truly stupid.
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  I didn't say it, but that really is the mentality.
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  They think because they give their kids once a month that
• 9:53
  they're not a deadbeat because dad is 0 beats, right?
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  But you tell them the truth about themselves like that,
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  you're still a deadbeat. Once a month does not mean
• 10:02
  anything, especially if you live 5 minutes away.
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  You live 10 minutes down the street.
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  You live in the same state, you make time to go play poker and
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  video games and cards and do all this other stuff.
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  But once I'm up for your kids, tell them the truth about
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  themselves. You're not as smart as you think
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  you are. You were not, you were not as
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  good in high school as you thought you were.
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  You were not that good of a cheerleader.
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  You're not that good looking. You're not the the most
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  beautiful person in the world. You're not that tall.
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  You're actually, you know, 5. You know 5-1 is short for a man,
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  right? You see what I'm saying?
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  It's for my short kings out there.
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  I love y'all, I'm not a heist, I'm just saying, but this is how
• 10:37
  you get to get to the the heart of a narcissist.
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  This is how you Pierce the heart of a narcissist.
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  I'm talking about piercing the heart like the damn vampire.
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  This is how you take the the cross and you Pierce the heart
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  of a narcissist by doing this right here.
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  Pierce their heart and you take their soul away.
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  I don't know that sounds stupid y'all, but that's the mentality
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  that so many face, so many people face right there.
• 10:57
  So anyways, y'all playing for rocking with me on this
• 11:01
  Saturday. Hope you have a beautiful day.
• 11:03
  Like I said, my courses, my support group, everything is
• 11:06
  available at mentalillness.net. Everything at mentalillness.net.
• 11:11
  And if you want to take one of my courses, my my support, the
• 11:15
  courses they're half off. You can use the code mothers
• 11:19
  MOTHERS mothers to get half off the video series and the
• 11:22
  courses. Hit the subscribe button and my
• 11:24
  peace before you leave make sure to hit that subscribe button if
• 11:27
  you haven't. It just helps us reach more
• 11:29
  people. Also everything I have is
• 11:32
  available at mentalillness.net. My coaching, my courses.
• 11:35
  I have a couple of courses that can help you understand and help
• 11:37
  you heal and also have a support group all available at
• 11:40
  mentalillness.net. Check my site off everything
• 11:43
  y'all and I will see y'all later.
• 11:44
  Peace.