Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 279 | "Dad, How Do I...?"

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Ep. 279 | "Dad, How Do I...?" · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:00
  There is actually still a space in a lot of people's hearts of like, man, of like almost this natural innate desire for fatherhood.
• 0:11
  What's up guys, welcome to another 5 Minute Fatherhood. So just in the last few days, Jeff and I have been, he shot me a text and showed me this YouTube channel that just has suddenly blown up. It's called, Dad, How Do I? Question mark. And I wanted to get, Jeff, your take. How big is this and why do you think this has taken off all of a sudden so much?
• 0:32
  Yeah. So if you guys don't know what it is, it's literally just this like dad on an iPhone, the lowest production value ever. And he said, he just realized that his kids would, you know, once they went to college and stuff, sometimes just say, Hey dad, how do I do this? You know? And, and he's such a good dad that he would like, he'd make little videos for him or make a little encouragement. This is how you fix a drain. This is how you do this outside. This is how you do something that's broken with a toilet. And he just realized like, man, there's not a lot of people or something, his daughter or something said something of like realizing a lot of people don't have that access or that ability now, which is the terrible lack of, you know,
• 1:00
  absent fathers, missing fathers, and then moms too. But just like this concept of him specifically, just that classic kind of traditional vibe of just the dad that helps and fixes and serves and offers those tools. And so –
• 1:14
  Yes, we started a YouTube channel and it only is like a month old and it was getting a little bit of traction. And then it just got, you know, that crazy lucky wave of like something on Facebook, something on Reddit and just exploded where he has. I think when I sent it to you last week, it was 1.3 million subscribers and he's already up to 1.9 million subscribers. So he's almost he's done over another half a million subscribers just in a couple of days since we talked about it.
• 1:34
  And it's literally just called dad. The channel is called dad. How do I, and he just answers, how do I blank every single episode? It's genius. It's brilliant. Even like the fact that it's low production value and low five, just, I love everything about it. It's so innocent and pure and amazing. But yeah, I think if you think about what, what to, and I think what I texted is, I think it showed, man, there is, cause I think there is some truth to the fact that like, like,
• 1:55
  Men, masculinity, fathers, etc. There is a edge to that that people don't like because they've been so harmed by it. Rightly so. Been so damaged by it. Rightly so. The bad pictures of it, the bad, you know, toxic masculinity, all these things, which I actually am on board with all of those indictments. But...
• 2:13
  But I think sometimes the religious spheres can come so hard on that that they just think that, no, there is actually still a space in a lot of people's hearts of like, man, of like almost this natural innate desire for fatherhood, you know? And for that – and what I love about him, which I think is perfect, is he's so like gentle and fun and like – you know? And I'm like, man, just like this gentle, incredible, loving, present father. I think there's still so much –
• 2:40
  desire for that. And honestly, just go read the comments like that. He's telling people how to fix a toilet and the comments really don't have anything to do with that. The comments have to do with like, man, I like lost my dad or my dad left and I'm crying. You know, like it's such a relational connection. It's crazy, but I don't know. What did you think about it?
• 2:53
  Yeah, it does seem to suggest that we're starving for just basic fatherhood. It's like for somebody to be able to pick up an iPhone and shoot videos to his kids about basic daddish things. And for that to be like, yeah, it just demonstrates. We don't ever get away from this. I think one of the things that, you know, it's also very hopeful to me that...
• 3:15
  No matter how much the culture deconstructs some of these basic roles that are in the family, it's never going to go away. Like this is, it's innate in the design. And so if you try to crush it in one area, it's kind of like whack-a-mole. It's just going to pop up, you know, in some other area. And so I think that, you know, there's been just a lot of.
• 3:37
  confusion in this area around fatherhood and a lot of denigration. And I think that now you're just seeing people looking for, but we need this. It's like a nutrient that people are starving for. And so to see, and I think this guy just, yeah, he had just the right spirit. I think that a lot of the frustration people are feeling is a spirit of domination or something. And this guy just was
• 4:01
  He was competent. That's another thing. I think that's not to be understated. I think the fact that he knew what he was doing could fix things and just made you feel protected and loved at the same time and not crushed. That is such a beautiful thing to see.
• 4:17
  Yeah, and even like there was even one comment, which I thought was so true of like, we're so humans are so good at reading in between the just the micro body language, emotions, etc. And even someone made a comment that I loved where they were like, which is true. Once I read it, I was like, man, just when you watch his videos, watch how much he looks at the camera with like genuine care for having you understand. You know what I mean? Like, there's again, there's a way to do it where it could just be like, this is how you do it. Here's the facts, whatever. Like, he's so like, you literally feel like he's talking to you. He's so personal. It feels so kind of homey, you know, and I'm just like, yeah, I think all the elements add up to.
• 4:47
  Uh, just such a really fun, cool example that I think we are desiring fatherhood and kind of the apprenticeship of parenthood. So even if for the moms listening, I'll say the same thing that this is goes to every, you know, moms and dads, but there's like an apprenticeship to parenthood that we've lost. We've turned, you know, parenthood into just more, you know, passing on information, passing on facts, whatever, rather than kind of this come alongside, I'm going to teach you, um, a way of life. And I think that is missing, which I think he shows for sure.
• 5:12
  So powerful. And guys, if you want to check out the skill of fatherhood, it's a class that Jeff and I did that has a module in there that just talks about how to coach as a family, and I think as a father. And one of the things I saw, like you said, in this guy's eyes was just he just seems like the way he taught, it was that gentle spirit of like, hey, I want to help you do this. That is something that's just flat out missing in the way that we even conceptualize fatherhood. We think we've abdicated all of that
• 5:39
  to others in our culture and all the teaching happens outside the home and that's not true. And so we need to learn as dads how to bring that to our kids. It's so life-giving for them. So if you're looking for resources around those lines, you can check out the skill of fatherhood over at familyteams.com.