Latest / Family Law Talk / The prominence of co-parenting applications
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: Welcome to Family Law Talk. Familylaw Talk presented by Kirk
- 0:06Stangy of Stangy Law Firm PC. Stangy Law Firm is
- 0:10a multi state.
- 0:11Speaker 2: Family law firm.
- 0:13Speaker 1: Now here's your host, Kirk Stangy.
- 0:18Speaker 2: Welcome to Family Law Talk. We have an interesting topic today.
- 0:22The topic is the prominence of co parenting applications and
- 0:26this episode today is based on an article on our blog,
- 0:30Family Lawheadquarters dot com dated July eighth, twenty twenty four,
- 0:35and the title of that article is the rise of
- 0:38co parenting Applications. So as a follow up to the
- 0:40episode today, go on over to familourheadquarters dot com and
- 0:44read the article on this same topic for more information.
- 0:47But let's go ahead and jump on into the topic
- 0:50at hand today. The reality is co parenting applications are
- 0:54on the rise. More and more individuals who are going
- 0:58through divorce and cussy cases end up using co parenting
- 1:02communication applications. And these applications can be pretty broadly used.
- 1:07So again I references before, but it can be used
- 1:10for communications so versus texting or emailing back and forth.
- 1:16Parents who have gone through a divorce or custom case
- 1:19communicate to these applications Okay. Other things that these applications
- 1:24do is calendar doctor's appointments, other key events that might
- 1:29be out there, like school stuff, other activities that kids
- 1:35might have. I mean, in other words, this is a
- 1:37calendar that's there for both parents to see in reference
- 1:41in terms of things that are coming up. And then
- 1:43on top of it, the payment of expenses for the
- 1:46kids can be done through many of these apps. So
- 1:48parents can submit receipts invoices if you will submitted into
- 1:54the app. The other parent then has the ability to
- 1:56approve or disapprove of the expenditure, and then they're even
- 2:00able to make the payment through the app itself. And
- 2:03so the good thing about that is ultimately there's no
- 2:06dispute over whether or not a payment was made or not.
- 2:09Now look, some individuals use these apps without a court order.
- 2:13They do it by consent. As I said, these apps
- 2:15are becoming more and more commonplace. They're becoming more and
- 2:18more popular, and I think this goes hand in hand
- 2:21with just the rise of smartphones in general and individuals
- 2:25being very used to using all kinds of apps in
- 2:27their daily life already. So most individuals on their smartphones,
- 2:32you know, you can do just about anything on your smartphone.
- 2:35It's a mini computer, if you will. And so individuals
- 2:37are very used to using applications. So using one of
- 2:40these applications is typically pretty seamless for individuals in general.
- 2:46It's just easy for folks to do. It's right there
- 2:48on that smartphone. It's easy to access, and it can
- 2:51be a very good thing for many individuals. Now, look,
- 2:54lots of individuals are court order to do it. So
- 2:57courts more and more or ordering parties to do this.
- 3:01And this could be particularly true in cases where maybe
- 3:05it's tried or litigated, or it's a case that is
- 3:08somewhat contentious, if you will, and there's a lot of
- 3:11back and forth and disagreements. And really the idea here
- 3:14is that courts order parties to use these apps because
- 3:17it can make things better, at least that's the hope.
- 3:19It can make things better in terms of communications, calendaring,
- 3:23in the payment of expenses. So again, these apps are
- 3:26on the rise. They're becoming more and more prominent. And
- 3:29I will just say when I first started practicing family
- 3:31law way back in two thousand, I didn't see individuals
- 3:35using apps like this. But over the course of time,
- 3:37they have become more and more common, more and more prominent,
- 3:42and more and more parents who go through divorce or
- 3:45chalcustic cases end up using these apps. Now, look, there's
- 3:48lots of different types of applications out there, some are
- 3:52more common than others. But just to give you the
- 3:55names and some of these apps just so you know
- 3:59in case you haven't heard of them, but our Family
- 4:00Wizard and Talking Parents are two well known cold parenting
- 4:05applications out there. There's other applications out there like two Houses,
- 4:10cole parently co parent, and then really a litany of
- 4:14others out there. Like I say, this is becoming more
- 4:16and more prominent, more and more commonplace in individuals more
- 4:21and more either using these apps, like I said, by
- 4:24consent where courts are ordering the parties to use these
- 4:27apps as part of the disposition of the divorce or
- 4:31the custody case itself. So let's talk about some of
- 4:33the advantages. And obviously others might have other advantages of
- 4:37these apps that I'm not going to reference here, but
- 4:39these are some of the common ones that lots of
- 4:42individuals would cite who have used these apps. And you know,
- 4:45you can do research on the web and do Google
- 4:49searches of this if you will, and you can maybe
- 4:51find some other advantages of these apps. But let me
- 4:54give you five of the advantages that are sort of
- 4:57commonly out there and commonly viewed by those in divorce
- 5:00and family law circles. One is the communication issue. It
- 5:05could make it easier for parties to communicate with one another.
- 5:08It's in one place, so it's in the app, so
- 5:11individuals don't have to switch between text and emails and
- 5:16phone communications. In other words, they can do all the
- 5:18communication right within the app. It's preserved. Once that communications
- 5:24in the app, it typically can't be deleted from the app,
- 5:26So if somebody sends something, it's there and it'll be
- 5:30there for the court of view, the guardian that light them,
- 5:32or the attorneys. And so obviously that preservation piece can
- 5:37be a big piece. And at the same token, you know,
- 5:39individuals have to exhibit a little more pause in terms
- 5:43of what they send, because once they send something within
- 5:46that app, it's hard to unsend it. But look, it's there,
- 5:49it's in one place, it's for everybody to view, and
- 5:52it's one central place. And that is typically one of
- 5:55the most commonly cited positive feet of these apps that
- 6:01people cite all right two, and this goes a little
- 6:05bit hand in hand with number one. But like I
- 6:08said before, when the communication is preserved and folks know
- 6:12that what they send can't be unsend sent if you will,
- 6:16and it's going to be in this app, many are
- 6:18more restrained in what they send. And so while it's
- 6:21easy for individuals to fire off a text message or
- 6:24an email and maybe not take a lot of time
- 6:27for reflection before sending it, the fact that this is
- 6:31preserved can cause some people to think twice before hitting
- 6:34that send button. Some of these apps even help assess
- 6:37the tone of the message itself before it's sent, like
- 6:40Talking Parents has that feature. In our Family Wizard, I
- 6:46believe has that feature too, where we'll assess the tone,
- 6:49and that can give an individual a little bit of
- 6:52time to think about what they're going to send a
- 6:54maybe rephraser communication before firing it off. And so look,
- 6:58that preservation piece can be a huge feature of this
- 7:02app that many commonly would cite as a positive attribute. Okay,
- 7:07Number three, co parenting applications can be great in terms
- 7:11of payment of expenses for the kids. So without one
- 7:15of these applications, you know, parties could be sending checks
- 7:17in the mail, they could be giving cash to the
- 7:20other party, and when this takes place, there can later
- 7:23be disputes about whether the money was sent, whether the
- 7:27money was received, whether it was deposited in the bank,
- 7:32and you know that can cause lots of problems. But
- 7:35where the payment is made in the app itself and
- 7:37there's a record of it, nobody can dispute it. Nobody
- 7:41can dispute to what was submitted to the other parents.
- 7:45So if a receipt is attached or an invoice is attached,
- 7:48then the other party is going to be able to
- 7:50see that, and that record can be a good thing
- 7:54that leads to a lot less disputes. And you know,
- 7:57it helps parents avoid having to put a check in
- 7:59the mail if you will, you know, all they have
- 8:02to do is make the payment through the app. So
- 8:04that's number three. Number four, the calendar features of these
- 8:09apps can be very helpful. So look, without an app
- 8:12like this, you know, parents could be confused about appointment dates,
- 8:16school events, activities and even the locations of these of
- 8:22these kinds of matters. Right, So within these apps, there's
- 8:24a universal calendar where both parents can see it, you know,
- 8:28and the time and the date and the location of
- 8:30the event could be placed in there in This feature
- 8:34can be very positive because without it there could be
- 8:37lots of disputes about these kinds of matters and one
- 8:40parent might say they didn't know or they didn't know
- 8:43the location of the event or the exact time or whatnot.
- 8:46So the calendar feature can be very very helpful, all right,
- 8:50Number five. More and more these apps are now incorporating
- 8:55phone calls and virtual conference features within these apps apps.
- 9:00So look, most communication is going to be typed within
- 9:06the app, you know, much like a text message or
- 9:08an email if you will, and it's preserved, and that's
- 9:10typically the way, you know, lots of parents communicate about
- 9:15matters involving the kids. I mean, you put it in
- 9:17writing for the other parent to see. But there may
- 9:21be times where phone calls or virtual conferences need to
- 9:24occur between the parties, and the reality is as it
- 9:27could be disputes over what was said in person what
- 9:31was said on the phone, and these kinds of disputes
- 9:34can lead to you know, turning fees and more motions
- 9:37being filed and more problems. And so what these apps
- 9:40offer is that these phone calls and virtual conferences be recorded,
- 9:45and so if they're recorded, there can be no real
- 9:47dispute over what took place and what was said. And
- 9:51this can be a positive thing. Obviously, it can come
- 9:54with some stress if you're being recorded. That can be
- 9:56a little bit stressful for some people, much like you know, communication,
- 10:01that can cause some stress when you know it's preserved forever.
- 10:03But again, it can lead to less back and forth
- 10:07about what was said and what wasn't said. It can
- 10:09give an individual the opportunity to go back and review
- 10:12something too, because sometimes you know, when two parties are
- 10:14having a conversation, in the moment, maybe something doesn't really register.
- 10:19But if a party has the ability to go back
- 10:21and look at it again, then maybe, you know, they
- 10:23get a little bit more clarification there in the second
- 10:26time they hear it, they understand a little bit better. Okay,
- 10:28so those would be five positive attributes of these apps.
- 10:32But let's go through some of the potential disadvantages of
- 10:35these apps, because that's important too. Obviously, you know, everybody
- 10:40who uses these apps isn't in love with it. So
- 10:42let's go through some of the potential disadvantages. Look, some
- 10:48might not like the cost of these apps, and that
- 10:51can be particularly true when an individual's already had to
- 10:54pay for attorneys and the divorce accustoic case, maybe there's
- 10:58child support and spouses support their expenses that are out there,
- 11:01and now you know there's a fee for using an
- 11:04application like this. Some parties might just not like that
- 11:07at all. So just the added costs would be one
- 11:11potential disadvantage. On the other hand, it's not that expensive
- 11:15to give the counter to that, and if it results
- 11:18in less back and forth and results in less legal
- 11:21wrangling in the future, than the cost can easily be
- 11:24worth it. But some might not like the cost all
- 11:26right too. For those who are not tech savvy, they may,
- 11:32you know, they might struggle with these apps. You know,
- 11:34for individuals who are very good on smartphones and computers
- 11:39and they're very used to using applications, they're going to
- 11:43be probably great with this. But for individuals who are
- 11:46not great at technology, who maybe are not individuals who
- 11:51are using their smartphone all the time, you know, maybe
- 11:54a little bit more old school, this could be a
- 11:56struggle for some individuals, so that that would be a
- 12:00meal disadvantage for sure. All right. Three others may feel
- 12:04just a little bit stressed when they contemplate that all
- 12:07the communications preserved. You know, send a text, they send
- 12:11an email, you know, that's a little more casual. But
- 12:13when you send something within the app, that can cause
- 12:16some folks to have a little bit of analysis paralysis
- 12:20in terms of what to say. It can create a
- 12:23little more just you know, concern about using these apps,
- 12:29and it can cause some individuals who are maybe not
- 12:32fluent in typing and writing communication to struggle a little bit.
- 12:37So that could definitely be a thing. Now for individuals
- 12:40who write and type a lot, I mean, that's not
- 12:42going to be as big of a thing, but for
- 12:43individuals who are not as fluent in language, this can
- 12:48cause them to feel a little bit stressed by using
- 12:51these apps. And then really the last one I would
- 12:55list would be look, typically parties, when they use an
- 13:00app like this, they've got to go in every so
- 13:02often and respond within a certain timeframe. And this is
- 13:06going to vary based on what's in the court order
- 13:09if this is being used through a cord order, but
- 13:12some individuals might be stressed the idea that they have
- 13:15to check the app every day and respond within a
- 13:17certain number of hours, you know, that could be stressful. Particularly,
- 13:22take somebody who likes to go to places where maybe
- 13:27cell phone or wireless signal isn't great. So take somebody
- 13:30who likes to camp, likes to hike, likes to go
- 13:34to you know, more remote places. An app like this
- 13:38might be potentially troublesome for them where they just have
- 13:41no signal, and they might not like that in the
- 13:45fact that they can't get a break from every using
- 13:47the app. So look for some individuals that might feel
- 13:50a little restraining to have to use an app like this. Again,
- 13:54particularly if it's an individual who's going to a place
- 13:56where there's just no cell phone or wireless signal. And
- 13:59so certainly if it's an individual like that, maybe there
- 14:02needs to be some exception in the court order in
- 14:06terms of how often an individual needs to check the
- 14:10application itself. But that would really be the last disadvantage
- 14:15that I'd list here today. Again, others out there who've
- 14:19used these apps might have other positive attributes eight site
- 14:22and other negative attributes eight site about these applications. But
- 14:26the truth of the matter is co parenting applications are
- 14:29on the rise. They're more and more commonplace lots of
- 14:32individuals going through divorce and cosse cases end up using
- 14:36these applications. Of my guess is this is only going
- 14:38to increase in prominence going into the future. So I
- 14:43wanted to cover this topic today to give the pros
- 14:46and the cons and again as a follow up to
- 14:47the episode today, going over to Familawheadquarters dot com, read
- 14:51the article titled the rise of co parenting Applications day
- 14:54to July eighth, twenty twenty four to give you more information.
- 14:58And like I said, if you go on the web
- 15:00do some searches, you'll certainly find individuals writing about other
- 15:03pros and cons of these applications. But the truth is
- 15:06these applications are here, they're here to stay. As it
- 15:10appears now they seem to be growing and prominent. So
- 15:13it's definitely an important topic and one I wanted to
- 15:15cover here today. But thanks for tuning in, stay tuned
- 15:18to our next episode coming up on Family Law Talk.
- 15:20Thank you very much.
- 15:22Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Family Law Talk with Kirk Stangy.
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