Latest / Let's Ask the Mamas! / Bullies
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Do your mamas
- 0:02Speaker 1: do people ever grow out of being bullies?
- 0:04Speaker 2: Well, let's ask our Merrick and Mama's Mama Mama, and.
- 0:20Speaker 1: Joining us now are American Mama's Terry Ediville and Kimberly Burlison.
- 0:23Speaker 2: Uh.
- 0:25Speaker 1: I would like to hope. So, I mean, you guys
- 0:27Speaker 1: didn't have bullies growing up? Who would bully the Spink sisters?
- 0:31Speaker 3: I got.
- 0:32Speaker 4: I did have that experience one year. Yeah, I had
- 0:35Speaker 4: a one year experience of having a bully. But it
- 0:38Speaker 4: was kind of like the most random thing. I won't
- 0:40Speaker 4: even go into it, but it was pretty horrible. And
- 0:44Speaker 4: then I go to Louisiana Tech and that same bully
- 0:47Speaker 4: happened to be at Louisiana Tech.
- 0:48Speaker 3: And this is like six years in between, right.
- 0:50Speaker 4: And her life was so sad that I felt so
- 0:54Speaker 4: sad for her. And I was thriving, you know, So
- 0:57Speaker 4: that was kind of like that retribution in a way,
- 1:00Speaker 4: you know, But it still made me sad.
- 1:02Speaker 1: Was she still a bully?
- 1:04Speaker 4: She was a lost soul. It made me understand more
- 1:07Speaker 4: so what was going on with her?
- 1:09Speaker 1: Okay, just kind of lost.
- 1:10Speaker 3: I was ready to kill her.
- 1:11Speaker 4: Yeah, she was I saw this reeal just the other day,
- 1:14Speaker 4: and this woman was talking about moving into a retirement community,
- 1:18Speaker 4: the fifty five plus community, and she said, it's so
- 1:21Speaker 4: funny because a lot of the people that were bullies
- 1:24Speaker 4: in high school just grow up to be bullies in
- 1:26Speaker 4: these communities. She said, the same kind of cliques exist,
- 1:30Speaker 4: the same kind of rude sitting with your people versus
- 1:34Speaker 4: other people just really rude. And I was talking to
- 1:37Speaker 4: my girlfriend about it. She used to be the vice
- 1:39Speaker 4: president of several retirement communities in Sarasota, Florida, and she said,
- 1:44Speaker 4: what I witnessed would put real housewives of any any
- 1:49Speaker 4: state to shame.
- 1:51Speaker 1: For people in nursing homes retirement.
- 1:55Speaker 4: Yeah, she said, it horrible.
- 1:57Speaker 3: Yes, well, you hear a lot of times people will
- 2:00Speaker 3: say mean girls turn into mean mamas. You know, that's
- 2:04Speaker 3: a phrase. And it's so interesting because our mom would
- 2:08Speaker 3: tell us our entire lives. She was like, you know,
- 2:11Speaker 3: she trusted us more than adults. She trusted our gut.
- 2:14Speaker 3: And she would tell us that. She was like, as
- 2:16Speaker 3: you grow, which you'll discover is a lot of adults,
- 2:19Speaker 3: they're just little kids in big bodies. They haven't evolved,
- 2:23Speaker 3: they haven't learned from things, so they continue being who
- 2:26Speaker 3: they were as kids. That's so so true. Summer asked
- 2:29Speaker 3: me one time, she said, have you ever because I mean,
- 2:32Speaker 3: it's just I think when social media came along, it
- 2:34Speaker 3: kind of got worse for a lot of especially girls.
- 2:37Speaker 3: And she said, were you ever bullied? And I was like,
- 2:40Speaker 3: if I was, I didn't know it, I really like,
- 2:43Speaker 3: And she's like, what do you mean. I said, if
- 2:45Speaker 3: I was, they if they were mean to me, or
- 2:47Speaker 3: if they were you know, dising me. I just thought
- 2:49Speaker 3: they were having a bad day.
- 2:50Speaker 4: Well, there's a difference between just mean girls and bullying, right,
- 2:54Speaker 4: you know what I mean, There's a whole different thing there.
- 2:56Speaker 4: True bullying is very disturbing mean girl. It's like, you know,
- 3:01Speaker 4: our girls dealt with mean girls always, you know, but
- 3:03Speaker 4: bullying and mingirl two different kinds of things.
- 3:06Speaker 3: When when Kimberly was in seventh grade and had this bully,
- 3:09Speaker 3: dad wanted to go fight her. Dad like she would go,
- 3:12Speaker 3: oh my gosh, but mom, she was like not, you know, no, no,
- 3:15Speaker 3: no no. But it was so interesting because you know,
- 3:17Speaker 3: we actually had to move the next year, so not
- 3:20Speaker 3: because of that, not because of that, but business. But
- 3:22Speaker 3: we moved after that, and it was it was like
- 3:24Speaker 3: five or six years later whenever we went to college
- 3:26Speaker 3: and we saw her and literally I had this. You know,
- 3:31Speaker 3: Kimberly was over it. She felt sorry for the girl,
- 3:33Speaker 3: like she clearly she has. But I still wanted to
- 3:37Speaker 3: just go over there and grab her by her shirt
- 3:41Speaker 3: and say, do you know what you did to myself?
- 3:43Speaker 3: Apology right now? I need you to apologize to her
- 3:45Speaker 3: right now. I think when you're the person you're like,
- 3:48Speaker 3: you evolve from it and you learn from you and
- 3:50Speaker 3: you become more compassionate when it's somebody. When it happens
- 3:53Speaker 3: to somebody that you love and care about, it's harder,
- 3:56Speaker 3: Like if it happens to your child, it's harder than
- 3:59Speaker 3: if it had happened to you.
- 4:00Speaker 1: You know what.
- 4:00Speaker 4: It was such a short period of time, and yeah,
- 4:02Speaker 4: it was very traumatic at that moment, but it was
- 4:04Speaker 4: just a glip in my life. But that one story
- 4:08Speaker 4: that I shared with my own children, they became like
- 4:12Speaker 4: these leaders in their own school and when they saw
- 4:14Speaker 4: someone else kind of dealing with that, they were the
- 4:17Speaker 4: first ones to stand up and nip it in the bud.
- 4:20Speaker 4: And so I feel like it was meant to be
- 4:22Speaker 4: it was.
- 4:25Speaker 1: I find it interesting that they're saying that they still
- 4:28Speaker 1: have bullies in these retirement communities. My grandfather used to
- 4:32Speaker 1: have a phrase he said, no matter what you are,
- 4:34Speaker 1: you only become more so. And I thought, man, that's rough.
- 4:40Speaker 1: But if you don't actually take time to work on
- 4:43Speaker 1: yourself to become a better version of yourself, then yeah,
- 4:47Speaker 1: I can see how you simply become more and more
- 4:50Speaker 1: of the worst aspects of yourself. And boy, it's why
- 4:57Speaker 1: it's so important that you need to spend time dealing
- 5:00Speaker 1: with whatever the demons you had growing up. I mean,
- 5:03Speaker 1: whatever problems the world has given you, You've got to.
- 5:07Speaker 3: Work on that, my mom says, so you can evolve
- 5:09Speaker 3: from it and become a better person. And when you
- 5:12Speaker 3: grow up with a mom or parents that tell you
- 5:15Speaker 3: that you see the world in a different way. Yes,
- 5:18Speaker 3: you truly begin to see. Whether it's college or after
- 5:21Speaker 3: as adult, you think something hurt this person like they
- 5:25Speaker 3: are hurting. There's no other reason that you treat someone
- 5:27Speaker 3: else in a way that is so brutally, brutal and
- 5:30Speaker 3: terrible unless you've got some issue going on inside. But
- 5:33Speaker 3: to have your mom's words ringing your ear like your
- 5:36Speaker 3: grandfather's words helps you go Okay, it's not about me,
- 5:39Speaker 3: this is about them.
- 5:40Speaker 1: Boy, that's a sad story. If you like to ask
- 5:43Speaker 1: American mom is a question, go to our website America
- 5:45Speaker 1: got Ready dot com slash Mama's and click on the
- 5:46Speaker 1: ask of the Mama's button. Terry nut ifil Kimerly Brothers,
- 5:48Speaker 1: and thank you so much.
- 5:49Speaker 4: Thank you,