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Barra's Bits - Pitch It At The Lowest Common Denominator · Lisa & Russell

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: When you hit off with your mates and you just
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: crack gags, added a lot of colour, humour.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Time.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: He went to boss level.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: For barra's bits.
• 0:10
  Speaker 4: Have some of this.
• 0:11
  Speaker 5: Bang. Gold 96 FM. Morning.
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: Hey, morning, guys.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just laughing because I know that you guys,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: being intellects and giants of the radio industry, have been
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: scoffing at us television people. And some of the phrases
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: and terms that we use that you just go, jeepers,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: can you find another cliche? And the thing is that
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: we have to put everything into a minute 10. That's
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: a hard thing. So we have to explain complicated stuff.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe not so sport, but in news.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Barrett just said complicated stuff. That's funny.
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: In a minute 10. Okay. And you also need to
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: pitch it at.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: What would we say? The lowest common denominator so that
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  Speaker 4: people could understand.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, my goodness.
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  Speaker 4: I'll take that back. I'll take that back. Oh, no.
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: Oh, no one's offended at that.
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  Speaker 1: No, the most, where most people can understand what you're saying.
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  Speaker 1: That's what I mean.
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  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: So you can't be overcomplicated. Like you can't confuse Barrow.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I'm the test case.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: What happened? Some nuclear fission or something.
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  Speaker 3: Some words, what you're saying, you can't use on TV.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Like pseudo, pseudo, hypo, parathyroidism.
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: Right. Keep it.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So we decided at seven that, you know, we'd have
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: a Royal Commission into television news language, really. Because honestly,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: some of the expressions we use, fair dinkum, and we,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: and nobody, people don't understand what cliches are sometimes.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: And I didn't really.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: And it's lazy language. Let's start in sports. Say, I
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: think there's a bit of a network wide band going on,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: on referring to the AFL grand final as the big dance. Yeah.
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: Oh, okay.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: Do you like that song? No, I'm over that one.
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  Speaker 5: Well, that's just an old saying, isn't it?
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  Speaker 4: But it's an American.
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  Speaker 3: It's an American saying.
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  Speaker 5: Okay. I didn't know where it came from. And it
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  Speaker 5: sounds stupid, but I didn't want to say anything.
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  Speaker 4: We pinched it like... And then... The other one we
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: use a lot is 8 a.m. in the morning.
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  Speaker 3: That's just stupid.
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: That's just wrong.
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  Speaker 1: Stupid.
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: You don't have to say 8 a.m. in the morning.
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: That's a, what's the word?
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  Speaker 4: Tortology.
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  Speaker 5: Tortology. Thank you very much.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Tortology is driving me nuts.
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  Speaker 6: Don't use that word, though, because the lowest common denominator
• 2:26
  Speaker 6: might know what.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: You're talking about. On the way here, though, I did
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: go to the ATM machine.
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: Oh, yes.
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  Speaker 3: Did you use your pin number?
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: Yes. Ah, good one. Good comeback. Also, just wrong.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: So, footy's worst kept secret, that's a shocking cliche. You know, like,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: say Oscar Allen, you know, it was footy's worst kept secret. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: because everyone knew about it and, you know, the club
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  Speaker 1: denied it. But, you know, it wasn't really the worst
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  Speaker 1: kept secret. Footy's night of nights, that's no good.
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: I don't know what's wrong with that.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: You couldn't have written a better script. You know that one? Right, right, yeah.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Say the Dockers Grand Final or something. Yeah. The gloves
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: are off. It's a game changer. It's a nothing burger.
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  Speaker 5: So you're just getting rid of all the cliches.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, double down. There's a few more here. We'll expand
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: into more cerebral stuff in a moment. Like the internet.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Ready ourselves for that.
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  Speaker 1: 3,000 people watch a video of a dog on a
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  Speaker 1: skateboard and we go, The internet has exploded.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, I know.
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  Speaker 3: Or this has divided the internet.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Or it's broken the internet.
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  Speaker 5: There's three people on each side of the division.
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  Speaker 4: It's gone viral. Yeah. Some bloke's cat has 400 likes.
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  Speaker 4: It's gone viral.
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  Speaker 3: This will leave Australia breathless.
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  Speaker 4: You got it.
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  Speaker 3: That's my favourite one. That's usually My Kitchen Rules or
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: something like that.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, well, last, the other night on My Kitchen Rules,
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  Speaker 2: it was, you know, there's always two unpopular people.
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  Speaker 4: Yes.
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  Speaker 2: And so it was the cook the whole of Australia
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  Speaker 2: has been waiting for. And I thought, I don't think
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  Speaker 2: the whole of Australia has been waiting.
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  Speaker 5: To see these two precocious people cook.
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  Speaker 3: I don't think so.
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  Speaker 4: But anyway.
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  Speaker 3: Not since Birmingham.
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  Speaker 5: No.
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  Speaker 4: Do that again, Lise. What? Do it again. That was
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  Speaker 4: bloody hot.
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  Speaker 5: I know, that's a one-off.
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  Speaker 4: That was hot.
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  Speaker 5: Do it again. Come on.
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  Speaker 4: The cook, the what?
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  Speaker 5: All of Australia has been waiting for.
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  Speaker 3: So shall we go a little more cerebral?
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: Very shortly.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I'll just give you a couple of more war terms.
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  Speaker 1: Because in footy, it's not about war.
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  Speaker 4: They went to war out there. It was an absolute battlefield,
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  Speaker 4: tooth and nail.
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  Speaker 5: They went into battle.
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  Speaker 4: They were under siege. Forget about that. It's got nothing
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  Speaker 4: to do with it. Take no prisoners. War of attrition.
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  Speaker 4: They got annihilated.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: And carnage gets used, carnage, you know, for a bingle
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  Speaker 1: on the Kwinana Freeway.
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: There was carnage this morning.
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  Speaker 4: It's not carnage.
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  Speaker 3: People are out of their cars.
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  Speaker 4: Mayhem. I can go on Facebook.
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  Speaker 2: So you've actually, you guys at Channel 7 have had
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  Speaker 2: a meeting.
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  Speaker 4: A memo.
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  Speaker 5: To just calm some of this language.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: Exactly. Unprecedented.
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  Speaker 5: Okay, that's good.
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  Speaker 4: Like unprecedented.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, not everything's unprecedented.
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  Speaker 4: It's never happened before.
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  Speaker 5: Well, see, my iconic is mine. That drives me mad.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: For everything.
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  Speaker 5: Iconic is so overused. Oh, that thing that someone said
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  Speaker 5: was iconic. No, it wasn't. It was just a statement.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: And can I just say, the Facebook rule, three angry
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  Speaker 1: comments don't equal community outrage.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: No, it does not.
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  Speaker 1: It's understood is the one we love, though, because they're
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: very useful words because we can say that even if
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: we're not sure what's happening and we can't be held responsible.
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  Speaker 5: That's right.
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  Speaker 4: It's understood. It's like alleged.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: And just to complete the picture and fill you out
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  Speaker 1: completely about the world I work in, which can be
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  Speaker 1: a bit bizarre, but it's good working in sport because.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: It's not really... that negative on the grand final.
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  Speaker 3: This is the weird world of television.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: And I mean, the Dockers fans are probably thinking it's
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: a tough world, but really compared to what's at the
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  Speaker 1: top of the bulletin.
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  Speaker 4: Whoa.
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  Speaker 1: You know, so anyway, sporting terms now are becoming on
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  Speaker 1: the ban list too.
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  Speaker 4: So I noticed.
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  Speaker 3: Wolfie and time.
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  Speaker 5: We're talking about words you can't say anymore.
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  Speaker 4: Don't mention those.
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  Speaker 5: Or they would rather you didn't.
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  Speaker 1: Well, in fact, Australian captain Meg Lanning, she's come out
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  Speaker 1: and she's welcomed the dismissal of the term batsman.
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  Speaker 4: So Batsman is out. Good for her. And gender neutral, Batter.
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  Speaker 4: Batter is in.
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  Speaker 1: The MCC has decided that it's Batter. So now they're
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: looking at third man. He looks like he's going to go.
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  Speaker 4: Twelfth man.
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  Speaker 5: What's it going to be? Twelfth person?
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  Speaker 4: Third. Third. They're going to be referred to as third.
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  Speaker 5: Third person and twelfth person?
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  Speaker 4: No, it'll just be third. Third. Building position, third.
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  Speaker 2: Why can't it be third man when it's the men's
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  Speaker 2: team and third woman when it's the women's team?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Is that so difficult?
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  Speaker 5: Or is it because it's got to be a third day?
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  Speaker 1: That's out of my league, that question. Twelfth man has
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  Speaker 1: become twelfth. So the twelfth.
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  Speaker 4: What? It's the twelfth man or twelfth man? Night watchman.
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  Speaker 1: You know the night watchman who comes out and bats.
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  Speaker 4: It's night watcher.
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  Speaker 5: Night watcher. Wasn't that a movie?
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  Speaker 3: Couldn't it be just Night Watch?
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  Speaker 4: And the real problematic one is Maiden, Bowling a Maiden.
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  Speaker 5: No, stop. No, shut up.
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  Speaker 4: Stop.
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  Speaker 5: Not you, Barron.
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  Speaker 1: Because that historically refers to a girl or an unmarried
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  Speaker 1: woman or a female virgin.
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  Speaker 4: So it's not ideal.
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  Speaker 6: It also refers to bowling an over with no one
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  Speaker 6: scoring off it too.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm not sure where they'll go with that one.
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  Speaker 1: It's happened in footy too. Ruckman has become Ruck. Backman
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  Speaker 1: has become defender.
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  Speaker 5: All right.
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  Speaker 4: Sentiment has become midfielder.
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  Speaker 5: Say you hit and you miss. What are they going
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  Speaker 5: to say then? Oh, it's a miss. No. It's a
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  Speaker 5: not get.
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  Speaker 4: You might be going too far there, Lisa.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: It's a not hit.
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  Speaker 4: You're going too far. No. They've all gone too far.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: It's a mz.
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  Speaker 5: It's a mz.
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  Speaker 4: Mz. Wingman's gone. Wing is in. You can't have man-on-man
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: style of footy. So it's one-on-one footy. Well, you can
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  Speaker 4: if there's two men. You can't man up. Can lock down.
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  Speaker 5: You can't man up.
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: You can't man up. And chairman's gone to chair, of course.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: And ground announcers, even, you know, using ladies and gentlemen is, anyway,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not going to go down that path, but that's
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  Speaker 1: changing as well.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: And the songs, what about the songs? They're changing.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: So like the Bulldogs song, the Western Bulldogs, Sons of
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: the West.
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: Oh, for God's sake.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: You know, we've been here before.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: I do remember in the 90s when we went through
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: this whole big thing about oh, you can't say manhole,
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: you've got to say personhole and things like that.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: And it just– no, I'm not kidding.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Don't you remember when we went down this– no, I'm serious.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: Sorry, I thought it was an April Fool's joke.
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  Speaker 2: No, we went down this road once before with political correctness.
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  Speaker 2: You can't say manhole, it's a personhole. And it just
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  Speaker 2: didn't stick. And next minute we were saying manhole again.
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  Speaker 2: So maybe this will just.
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: Be a– I don't know.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Well, these teams have changed their songs. The Sydney Swans
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: in 2021– Probably the AFL's most woke club. You're not
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: allowed to use woke anymore either. It's sort of the
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: wrong word.
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: Probably not the most woke club.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: They used to have, while.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: They won't be staying at the Pool Man anymore.
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  Speaker 4: Will they?
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  Speaker 1: While her loyal sons are marching. While her loyal sons
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: are marching. Now it's while our loyal swans are marching.
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: Onward to victory.
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: Oh, because the girls use the same song?
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because of women's footy. So those things are permanent.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Although a long.
• 9:21
  Speaker 6: Time ago, the national anthem did change because it used
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: to be Australia's sons, let us rejoice. And then it
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: became Australians all let us rejoice.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: It's a tricky area.
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but there's a limit.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: There's sensibility and then there's stupid.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Don't look at me. It's not my idea.
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: I'll be watching you on the news and I'll be
• 9:39
  Speaker 6: fact-checking everything, you know, every word that you say.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: Politically correct around here, buddy. Okay.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: I'll let you guys go.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks, mate.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: You've got us all hot and bothered. Now he's just out.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: Now he just leaves.