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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the The Just -The Religious Duty of Balance and Better Outcomes 2.5.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  2627 the closing arguments to bring out this point of our
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  balance is so fundamental and so key and being a very dedicated
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  person. It's not like we're trying to
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  ask of you to not be dedicated to not be highly motivated.
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  No, we're just started speaking about last night and it's
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  throughout the the the Shabbat, not a city of in Ishmael, which
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  is to jump and do and to accept the Torah is what made us who we
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  are. So that mindset of being highly
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  motivated and then that minds on top of that, being a Hasid,
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  which means being very dedicated to take something all the way is
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  what makes us who we are. We are highly dedicated people
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  and certain aspects were overly extremely motivated to to a
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  great extreme that makes us great.
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  But you need to have a balance. And the balance is an
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  understanding as you're doing great things and as you're
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  pushing and any area as you're making the move to ask yourself
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  and say what's the overall outcome for Hashem's sake of
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  talking positive or negative. So the examples we've had so far
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  our review seems like at times a very effective thing can be very
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  destructive as we know the opposite actually, I've already
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  sell loving another Jew. Great thing that maybe you're
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  condoning the wrong kind of behavior.
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  Possibly at times certain degrees of great service of
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  Hashem, beautiful thing like let's say we gave you a classic
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  example of these different things, but maybe there's
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  degrees of Medici quillora, which is showing arrogance,
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  making yourself a scene that you're bigger than you are,
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  right? Learning today and talking about
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  how much today you've learned wonderful thing.
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  And maybe at times this making other people jealous or even
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  worse, making yourself seem like a big deal and a beautiful
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  thing. Speaking the truth, a wonderful
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  thing, but at times you have to hide the truth, everything.
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  It caused different sorts of problems and lack of modesty.
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  All these ideas and you know, if someone says I only speak the
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  truth, thank you. I am dedicated to choose.
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  Wonderful thing we spoke about on a Sunday.
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  Oh great, I never ever lied. But you know what?
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  And then they get themselves in the hot water and someone says,
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  why do you say that? I don't lie.
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  I got you. It should be a life's mission to
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  never say a lie. I'm with you on that point, but
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  you took it too far. So these are all examples of
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  where a person who's stuck on something, who's very good at
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  something also has to know that there's a balance applied.
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  And then you can claim more examples of building foot up.
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  It's great thing. Be careful of who you're
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  harming. Building a house organization,
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  wonderful thing. Be careful of who you're
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  shutting down. All these things are areas you
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  have to be careful about. That tells us display a great
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  balance. And now he tells you same thing
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  yesterday we did with home out. You want to be very much me in a
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  certain area. Wonderful, amazing thing.
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  You know it's the home, right? You know, it's not the Halaha
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  itself. It's way above the Halaha and
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  you live by that. Great.
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  But now you're in public, Oh, you're the family gathering and
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  you're going to apply those come out and not going to eat her
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  thing and the people are going to get insulted, etcetera,
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  etcetera. And that's where a person has to
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  figure out where is the violence, where is the and where
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  is way above the Now here's an example on page 427 Ma said that
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  it be I'll give you a story if I'm a rabbi from the Gemara
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  Shamir la taught he was strict regarding the son Allah to go
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  like Beit Shemite. The law of nighttime Shema Beit
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  Shemite ruled. I believe this tool I'm
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  referring to and nighttime Shema has to be said like the Basu
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  says the of Kumar so he loves the Shahbaka mean literally
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  laying down. So Beit Shemite said to say at
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  nighttime Shemite, you have to be laying down.
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  You cannot be sitting up when you say that you have to be
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  oddly laying down in bed. The only way you can say
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  nighttime Shema is laying down rabbit.
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  Her phone was Mark near was strict to follow by Shami in
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  this area, but but he didn't agree with this.
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  He followed by Shami. That's a whole crew of people, a
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  whole group of people and their way of thinking They have.
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  You can always say nighttime Shema laying down and the
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  morning Shema standing up the shock of kumarah.
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  He took a literal he followed their home opinion and he was
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  rebuked for I know you want to be strict.
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  I know you want to go do action. So you're going to take the one
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  off opinion of Vegemite and go with it.
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  You're doing the wrong thing. I'm being Mahmir.
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  What's wrong? I see why.
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  All right, Ravala. They told him when he followed
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  Vegemite's opinion on the bottom of 427 Kedai.
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  Aita, you were worthy. The whole bats mahasha Arvarta
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  de Vere bete though you were worthy.
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  Or a Beatle phone. A rabbi from the Camaro
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  following a strict opinion of HMI is the wrong for you.
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  Just saying to himself, I want to do more, so I'll take the
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  hell. You give me 20 opinions.
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  I want to take the most strict opinion.
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  Why not? You know people do this at
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  times. They say rabbi with rabbi gives
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  you different opinions. Say rabbi, give me the hardest
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  one. OK, I'd be the one did that.
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  What was the result? He got attacked by bandits.
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  Sometimes he dealt with bandit and they told him he was
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  deserving of being attacked by bandits and actually being
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  harmed by the bandit didn't happen.
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  It wasn't harmed, but he was deserving of being harmed by
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  bandits because he decided to take the strictest opinion.
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  What? I'm being mahmir, I'm being an
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  extra rabbi. I'm being told and deserved to
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  get harmed as Shalom because he took the chavi's opinion, which
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  was a clear downright wrong opinion.
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  And at that time, Alfa Bishen Mahmirayya, even though he's
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  being strict, I'm turning to 428 Mizzair.
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  And what's the logic? Because you're getting involved
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  in a Mahloukie between Bete Shamaya and bete Lil.
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  You're taking the wrong side. You're giving bete Shamayi some
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  leg to stand on, even though we don't follow them.
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  Mizzair, Shane, Yam Mahlouge, bete Shamayo, bete Lil Haya in
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  Yam Cavelli. So it was a very serious waiting
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  matter in the Jewish people, which was the matters in the
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  fight between Bete Shamaya, Bete Lil, who's right, who's wrong?
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  And when a great rabbi sides with Bitch am I, even though
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  Bitch Man, being more religious, so to speak, the great rabbi is
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  signing the wrong side. He's giving credence to the
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  wrong side's opinion. And that messes up our whole
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  structure. Imagine today if you are build a
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  speed, you had a Reform rabbi come out with an opinion.
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  It happens to be Mahmir happens to me.
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  That Reformed rabbi in this one area is very strict.
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  Now, I don't mean to compare Bechami to be a great people,
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  absolutely. But the idea of the theme is
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  somewhat the same, which is if someone would go ahead and say,
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  you know what, that rabbi in that area is right?
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  Or is that right? The fact, because I know the
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  other rabbis don't agree with him, other rabbis are my rabbis,
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  but he is sending a stricter opinion.
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  Why not take the strict opinion in that area?
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  And we're telling you when you take that strict opinion and you
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  decide with that team, you're messing up the balance of Jewish
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  people because we have rabbis you go with and rabbis you
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  don't. And even though the one that
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  you've chosen to go along with in this specific area is being
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  strict, but you might say more religion, more power, beautiful.
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  That's not just that right way, ain't the wrong team you've
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  chosen and you're messing up Aprica.
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  You're literally messing up our structure of our people.
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  So when I beat that phone, like I said, build this really
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  gazillion times when I beat the phone, opt to go alone with Bert
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  Shamaya Nazeri, who was not the opinion that we follow.
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  He was playing around with our structure.
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  And by the way, even less than that, even if someone would go
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  ahead and say Eschenada's ravine, go with him and his
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  Allaha and we follow. So I'd e-mail all the way.
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  Let's just say I was your mistake and they're a little bit
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  confusing the structure of how we do things right now.
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  Again, don't bring in how we call Mushabara.
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  Don't bring in the fact that we call it worship Einstein.
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  Don't play that into it because when we quote those rabbas, it's
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  usually in areas that we don't have a Saudi rabbi ruling or
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  it's kind of area where it doesn't really play into Saudi
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  as we have our customers and concerning things, we don't want
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  to have this requirement. The following Saudi mobile Ishin
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  Azim when it comes to other things, right, exactly.
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  For example, maybe interpretation of a monetary
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  alihah, but he's on Moshe of Einstein.
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  It's very possible you go with him even though he's in
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  Ashkazabai. There are different areas where
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  we go along with all. It's all one big team.
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  But if you had an area, right, clear area.
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  For example, I will lose a Tafili, I just say, or I will
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  lose Talek, I will lose a Tafila.
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  And he had and he decided to go with an Ashkenazi Rabba.
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  And we have clear sardine rabbis that are on the same level from
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  the same time or gave us a different opinion.
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  And you said I want to do more. That's fine to what you want.
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  You can bring it into our people and you're a rabbi of our
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  people. You will confuse our structure.
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  He's telling you over here, I know you want to do more.
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  I want to do more strict and I I follow you.
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  But when you do that, you're playing around with our system
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  and I beat the phone was considered and strands did the
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  wrong thing on that level because although he was doing
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  more religion, he was messed around with the structuring.
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  Just a theme of violence, right? The solve Sovnik Mark, because
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  the ruling always is that you go with Betty Leil.
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  You should not be saying let me do more.
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  The way it's about works is that you should go with Betty Leil.
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  If the ruling is like Betty Lille, you should be going like
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  Betty Lille. And even if that means you can
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  adopt the leniency, still go up Betty Lille to now weaken the
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  backing and the structure and the security behind Betty Lille
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  by going stricter. Shalom, Shalom.
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  If you decide to opt in with the wrong robber in a situation
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  where the right rabbi is is famous, is accepted, another
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  one's not. You're in a certain sense,
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  especially rabbi like B Tafon, you're splitting the Torah into
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  two. You're deciding I want to rule
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  bet your mind, even though everyone goes Betty, that's very
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  dangerous thing, although I can't and therefore Ladatta
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  Mishnah Azot according to this Gemara.
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  And this is the beauty of this whole concept.
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  You're being more pious. You're being more religious to
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  be lenient in this case fact that that's the most important
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  thing. You are being more religious to
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  be leaning the same way. You're being more religious when
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  you don't adopt the humra with the family around you, being
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  more religious when you don't display a rebuke, being more
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  religious when you don't protest at times.
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  You're being more religious when you don't show off your Tara
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  learning other people. All these areas are more
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  observant. You're being more religious when
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  you don't expand that Tara institution that's gonna hurt
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  somebody. Every single thing I'm saying
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  sounds backward. But everything I think
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  everything was saying is based on this theme.
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  The theme is your balance has to lead to a clear decision making
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  that says to yourself overall outcome.
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  Like I said yesterday, it's not simple enough to say great or
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  good. As an Harry Potter fan, I know
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  that when the things go sideways and then sideways when they
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  involve the greater good into the picture, if anyone remembers
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  ever read it, that's the only that's always, always in my mind
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  forever. 20 years or whatever, it's 15 years.
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  It's this. Am I the greater good is not a
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  good, not a good mindset. All right.
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  And here, too, he's not telling you make decisions for the
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  greater good because that will lead people to say, you know
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  what, not going to do it for my family, how to show the gate.
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  It's too high, people can't jump in.
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  If it not even that it it says who you're, the gate is too high
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  and the gate is in the wrong gate.
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  Which means if the gate is too high and it's not the halacha,
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  then you say that point. If the gate is right, all that's
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  all. If you're doing something that's
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  right and proper no matter what, then you have to follow it even
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  if it's going to cause problems. So it doesn't make a difference.
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  You cannot only factor in the outcome.
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  But once you're dealing with two rats, you choose the one that
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  will lead to an overall better outcome.
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  That's the mindset. No protests at times, no yelling
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  at times, no rebuke at times, no standing up for something that
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  you think is right at times. No extra studentsies at times,
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  no explaining to that. At times, all these things are
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  in play. What's the theme?
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  What's going to lead to a better outcome?
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  That's the thing. That's the balance, right?
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  It made more sense for this Rabbi Lahazique ke Betilo to
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  back up Betilo of Philo Lacula even to be lean.
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  That it made sense to be shingen like Bechami is how it works.
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  We have so many examples of rabbis who carry certain
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  leniencies in public. But we keep saying it's a
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  loophole. You're looking for a loophole.
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  It's really like. The other way I had.
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  A loophole? No.
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  But I've said when we do things that make it easier, that helps
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  people, man. People call it a loophole, but
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  the truth is it's more acceptable for the people.
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  You're right. When that rabbi makes a decision
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  for a specific case and he says to a certain couple is the
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  halacha, some on onlooker says that's very lenient.
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  He's giving a loophole for those people.
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  A rabbi in his mind did the perfectly right thing even
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  though there's no chance in a million years he would tell the
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  same thing to another person. At times people look at certain
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  rabbis on different areas and they say so and so is lenient,
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  but they're missing is that so and so is giving a ruling to
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  those people. And that is exactly this point,
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  which is it's a balance. There's an understanding,
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  there's a there's a clarity of knowing what's for them and
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  what's for them. The issue often is that because
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  we have a lot of talkers, stuff like that, the ruling becomes
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  ruling for the masses. And the statement that he said
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  to that couple will become a senior for all couples.
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  And now the rabbi has to now back up his opinion and at times
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  it's what ends up happening is he ends up confirming his
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  opinion and making it like it's his main she opinion, which he
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  never meant to make a machine. He really originally was trying
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  to give a certain family a chance at religion.
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  And you have people who originally were trying to build
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  Torah through their very creative rulings ended up in the
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  in the overall outcome could be destructive because they didn't
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  have a chance or they didn't really apply this finesse, which
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  is for that person, this and the other person that every culada
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  that you've many culada that you've heard about for the
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  people they were told to might have been not only OK, not even
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  the right answer, but then they expanded to other people.
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  And then problems started. And then the rabbi had to, you
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  know, dig his heels in best history.
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  That's what happens. But really, the balance was
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  there at one point. All right.
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  I'm talking about even people and rulings that sound so
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  lenient. The balance was there.
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  They told me about a community at times that were not Shamay
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  Shabbat. Of course you can give them any
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  cool out. You can in a certain area just
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  to keep them connected. I can hear that.
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  All right. If they're not Shamay Shabbat
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  and the rabbi knows it and they're doing something as a
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  sin, that's one of the most egregious sins we had.
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  And the rabbi is dealing with such a person and still a good
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  person. So of course his leniency to
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  them in a different area is going to be maybe even little
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  drop a bow non jumish about level, but they.
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  Go to school in the morning and then go to work.
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  Right, right. They go back to the next, the
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  next guy who hears that, who adapts that, who's a little bit
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  more than just it's terrible for him, obviously, and the whole
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  thing gets messed up. If you have people who
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  understand, who have Khana have ability to decipher between who
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  the ruling was ruled to, everything will be fine.
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  But that's sort of challenging its own right, and it's.
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  So you feel you have to know the history of the gamana to to do
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  those rulings, let's say. You have to, you know, we have
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  we. Don't know what was going on at
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  the time that do you feel like we're?
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  Losing no, because we do have no, we do have when a ruling was
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  set as a ruling from from their brands point.
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  It wasn't set for the times. Nowadays, if I for say it gives
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  a ruling for a specific family and he has the whole gamut in
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  front of him and he's picking 1 ruling out of a hat for that
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  those people. It's a choice that he made not
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  to say this to to say this is fits for those people.
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  But if you look at the Gemara and even Shaharu, which later
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  all things I would codify to codify whatever you say, all
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  rulings that became somewhat final and those were like a
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  funnel. That means they came out with
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  one ruling. They didn't say 10 options.
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  You pick what works for you. Today, when someone applies a
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  coda leniency, what they're saying is I'm taking a little
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  bit of this, a little bit of that, a little bit of 1/3
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  factor. I don't know, maybe it's not
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  really Shabal yet and maybe it's involving A goy and maybe it's
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  something else. And maybe who knows if they're
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  going to go backward if I don't get they're putting all patients
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  together. All those factors.
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  We're not in the Gemara. They're all parts.
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  That is only something that can be modern day.
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  The Gemara's flat out ruling is what it is.
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  Same with but a modern modern day Passaic might have this
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  degree of, you know, a great one knows that, you know, do these
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  things, but it doesn't mean he feels as a Bo and it means he's
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  dealing and playing with the greater with the better outcome
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  mindset. You know, the concept that's for
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  them in those scenarios. And that, by the way, as an
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  aside, makes us not judge people both when they're very streaked
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  over and lean or whatever. Don't judge them.
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  You have to be in their shoes or no Ites so many times people
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  have yelled and screamed about things that were not as big a
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  deal as they made it so many times.
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  All right, at the same time, if these rule needs to become
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  mainstream, it's a big problem. So you have to know for sure.
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  But their overall theme is a level of balance, a deeper than
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  that, an understanding and a focus on the outcome.
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  And that should be every person's mindset, focusing on
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  the outcome and focusing on what you're saying for the sake of a
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  good outcome. It's true as a posaic, it's true
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  as a father, true as a husband. All right, it's only people are
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  married to why is like I said yesterday or not on their
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  wavelength and maybe their wives are doing certain things against
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  halacha, right? Not in the areas that are
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  serious like extremes areas like I'm talking about other areas.
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  And these people are told by great men just go along with
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  just go along with why there's a great man.
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  Now what are the choices? Don't go along with it might
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  destroy shaman bite, right? Should he not go on that
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  vacation to that beach town, even though it's not really his
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  level and he can't stand up to her?
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  We just can't stop it. He knows his game.
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  He'd rather just figure it out. If you say yesterday, go alone,
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  what? There's a level of balance and
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  this is really something a person has to understand.
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  It doesn't push you to be more lenient.
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  It pushes me, pushes you to think things through all the way
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  through. Really your goal is to be a
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  khasif. This guy was being told to go
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  along with his wife is doing so, so he has the capability to keep
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  his family religious. And then the next year
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  introduced the idea of how about we go to Israel or how about we
• 19:57
  do something different and play around only because he has
• 20:02
  control of the situation based on a greater good mentality.
• 20:06
  I'm sorry, a better outcome mentality.
• 20:08
  That's all right. A finish of the paragraph and
• 20:12
  the chapter. Zelano Lanaim.
• 20:16
  The lesson of that story with Rabbi ruling Abecha Might should
• 20:21
  be our guide. With aught as a Derrick you
• 20:24
  scorn, Or the emmento bemuna la sotaya sharpener Hashem, the
• 20:30
  right place, the guide to see the path on which the light
• 20:34
  should dwell truly unfaithfully. In other words, how you should
• 20:37
  live your life to do the right thing.
• 20:40
  And as a Russian, you're trying to be a good person.
• 20:43
  Follow this concept of balance all the way through and you'll
• 20:46
  get there. There's an idea.
• 20:47
  Stop with this.