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I Dated Another Narcissist and She Nearly Destroyed Me · The Mental Healness Podcast

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So if you don't know, I myself as a diagnosed narcissist have
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dated another narcissist. I have narcissistic friends
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around me. I have narcissistic people all
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in my life. But my story about dating
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another narcissist is how I got to this point right here.
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Y'all I I as Lee Hammock to diagnose narcissist.
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I'm going to tell you about the story where I dated another
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narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
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welcome back, welcome back. Before we get deep into this
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story, I need y'all to go to my other channel, the Mental
0:46
Illness Podcast and follow that Channel.
0:49
Follow the Mental Illness Podcast right now.
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That's where all my interviews and things are going to go to.
0:54
Check that out, get some great interviews coming up.
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But back to the top, I get hand the damn narcissistic X of mine.
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Yeah, yeah. So I tell people all the time,
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and I'm I'm pretty sure I convey this point in my videos.
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But women can absolutely be narcissist, right?
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They absolutely can. I've in my skits and stuff like
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that. I rarely use gendered terms.
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I'm just saying, hey, your spouse, hey, your significant
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other, your they did this you something.
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I don't use gender terms because I myself have dealt with a
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narcissist. A lot of people ask me like,
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Lee, how do you give such good information from both sides of
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the paradigm? Like, how are you doing it?
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How do you do it? Lee, I tell you, I stayed at a
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Holiday Inn Express last night. No, I've dealt with the
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narcissist, the woman. Like, the thing about this is
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right, I didn't realize that it was a toxic relationship dynamic
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until years later, until years down the road, you understand
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me. I was well out of the
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relationship. Relationship was over and done
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with. I hadn't spoken to this person
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in years. I'm talking to my therapist
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about it, telling them about the relationship.
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My therapist, like what happened?
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What happened? I'm like, yeah, this is what's
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going on. My therapist knows that I'm a
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narcissist, but I'm telling in my therapy sessions, I'm telling
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the truth. So that's how I get help as a
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narcissist, I go to therapy, I tell the truth and that's how I
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get help. That's how I get better.
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That's how I, you know, people like Lee, you're recovering as a
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narcissist. How is that happening?
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I go to therapy and I tell, I tell the honest truth.
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So I told the honest truth about my relationship with my ex.
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And my therapist is like, whoa, wait a minute.
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That don't sound normal. They don't sound like a healthy
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minded person. And I'm here to tell you it
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wasn't. So looking back on the
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relationship, of course we worked together, right?
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We absolutely work together. And that's why I tell people.
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That's why y'all always hear me in some of my videos.
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I'll tell you people, don't date where you work.
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Don't date your coworkers, your bosses, don't clap cheeks and
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nobody who cut who. Don't clap when you clock, don't
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clap in when you clock in. You see what I'm saying?
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Do not clap cheeks with anybody who you date, who you dated
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before, who you previously dealt with.
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Oh, wait, wait, where you work at right, Because they, what
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happens if it blows up? What happens if this
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relationship blows up in your face?
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You can't just go back to acting like nothing happened.
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It's going, it's things are going to happen.
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So me and my narcissist ex where we work together.
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Well, I worked there first and then she got a job there and we
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were just going out having fun, whatever.
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And we we were attracted to each other, right?
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And we end up dating having teeth, whatever case may be.
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And I had just had a baby at the time, right?
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I already already had a baby. I don't neither here nor there,
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y'all. I had just had a baby.
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My boy. This is going to trigger me
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y'all, like I'm telling y'all the story.
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My narcissist, the ex was my new supply.
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I had moved on from my oldest son's mom, right, but she's
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she's my oldest son now she's my oldest son's mom now.
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By the time she's my only my my my baby Mama, right?
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I don't use baby Mama my son's mom, right.
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He was like a few months old. I moved on to her.
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I moved on to the new supply who also worked with me.
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My my son's mom worked with me. She quit and then this other
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girl start working there and we started dating.
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So the New Girl with my new supply, you got it.
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Are we good here? So everything got hot and heavy
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very fast. She saw that I had a baby.
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She thought my baby was cute. Now she wants a baby.
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We've been dating a mother too. She's like, we just need a baby.
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I want a baby too. Why'd you give her?
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Why would you have a baby with her?
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And she worked here and you haven't had a baby with me?
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What's going on here? I'm like, wait, what?
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What are we talking about? How we get here, huh?
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You want a baby? You want a baby too?
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What are you talking about? Like this don't make no sense,
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right? So we kept things kept going and
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going and going, right? And as time went on, you start
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to realize like, wait, this is kind of toxic.
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So I started messing around with other people.
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I'm talking to other people. I'm going to clubs, talking to
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other people, right? So she's, she's not a clubber.
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She came to the club to fit in with me.
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She mirrored me, right? She came to the club to fit in
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with me. We danced or whatever.
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She doesn't like clubs, but she came there to love bomb me.
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That's how she got me. She just mirrored my behaviors.
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I mirrored her. I like I started doing stuff
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that she like, right? So we were mirroring each other.
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Turns out she hates the club. She told her friends I hate to
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go to the club. I don't, I don't even like him
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going to the club. So she tried to change me.
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She hated me going to the club. So I told her I liked her.
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I'm like, look, I won't go to the club because I like you.
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I care about you, I love you. We're not I'm not going to go to
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the club anymore. Course, I'm lying, right?
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I go to the club. I take another guy who used to
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work with us. This dude name was John, right?
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I take John to the club. John.
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A new dude, new hire. I'm like John.
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I'm gonna go to the club. We're gonna put John on some
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girls, show him how we get down. Tell me why.
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The next time John goes to work with my ex, he tells her, Oh, we
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had. I had a great time at the club
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with Lee. She's like, you did what this
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man told her. He told I went to the club.
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John. I can't stand John.
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If you ever see this, I'm gonna get your ass.
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This has been about 1617 year. I'm going to get you.
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I'm gonna get you. He told her then she confronted
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me. I lied.
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I wanted to try to downplay I like we were just taking John
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out for his birthday was in his birthday.
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John wanted to go out. He's heartbroken.
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Better to none of that was true. So that put a wedge in my
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relationship. So I feel like because I hurt
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her feelings, instead of just breaking out with me, she
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started talking to other people. She yeah, sorry to talk to other
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people. Start withdrawing, start, start.
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She started talking to me less. She would talk to me just enough
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to keep me around, but talk to me less because the feelings
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were hurt, right? So she would just talk to me,
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hurt my ego, whatever. People would come in.
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We worked together, remember? People would come in and she
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would check them out and she'd be flirty because we couldn't
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tell people we were dating, right?
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We couldn't tell people they were dating because of the the
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fraternization policy, right. And so she'd be coming in do do
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we flirt with her? She'd be looking at me flirting
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just in my in my face, hurt my feelings, hurt my ego.
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Just take it away at me. Then one day, OK, the back and
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forth started started happening. We had a conversation, right?
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We're still being intimate here and there, but like, she's just
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not how it used to be, right? Did I messed it up?
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Yeah, it was on me. But she was there's no
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forgiveness there. I didn't even cheat.
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I just went to the club, right. I went to the club.
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I lied. Yeah, but don't forgiveness
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there. So I'm gonna stop going to the
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club. I'm be good.
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My friends go to the club. I'll be face.
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I'll be texting her. I'm at home.
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I'm not going to the club tonight, Right.
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Sitting at home. Go.
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I go to work one day. I'm like the assistant manager.
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So she doesn't show up for work one day, right?
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I like them. She doesn't didn't come in.
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She's not responding to my texts or calls.
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So I'm worried. I like this girl cheating on me.
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So I get off work early. Somebody, somebody else is
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there. My friend, my other friend who's
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also works there, he's there. So I leave to go check on her.
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Check it out. She responds to my go to
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apartment. Right.
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I get there just in time. She's getting out of the car
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with another guy. She sees me.
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This little dude, he's like a little dude too.
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I could have pounded his head in, but I was like, he don't
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know about me. This is on her.
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So I'm on my hands and knees begging it.
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Yeah, this is embarrassing. I'm on my hands and knees
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begging this girl to talk to me. They're like, please, what are
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we doing here? Like, why are you doing me like
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this? Why?
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I've been connecting the call. It's like, you know what you did
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wrong? And I like, why don't you just
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break over me there? Just leave me alone.
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Why do you just keep me dragging me alone?
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She's like, just talk about this later.
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So she goes in the house. This dude ends up leaving.
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I go we. So we still try to work it out
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after that. For some reason.
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I was stupid, right? Because you hurt my ego.
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I was like, I went to try to work this out with her.
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So we tried to work it out for a little while, right?
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And the back and forth stuff still still had, still kept
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happening. She's being dismissive, she's
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doing that, she's doing this. So it got to the point where I
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was going to literally losing my mind, literally losing my mind.
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So we just end up breaking up, right?
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We literally broke up and tell me why when we broke up, I'm
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going to the clubs again, I'm chilling.
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I'm doing my thing in the clubs. I'm we're still working
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together. Now remember that we're still
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working together. So I'm working with her and
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she's moving on quick, you know, I mean, I'm trying to move on.
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I'm in the clubs dancing. I'm not talking to other girls
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just yet. I'm dancing and chilling.
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But she's bringing dude like y'all again.
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I'm the assistant manager. So she would bring dues in our
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place of work and make me check them out.
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She'd be on dates and take the people that she was dating to
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her job. There's a oh man, you work here?
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She bought, Yeah, work here looking at me couldn't her army
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just in my face bringing dudes to the work in my face.
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I like oh, and I couldn't make a scene 'cause I didn't want to
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lose my job. I was like, Oh my God, I had to
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check her out. She's sitting right there
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hugging up on the dudes doing this.
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In a span of about two months, she bought about 345 dudes in
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there, different people indifferent than the one I
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caught her with driving into her house.
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Remember the dude I told y'all she was going to the house with
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different people, not even bringing him in there.
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Different people, right? I'm like, what the hell?
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Killing me, killing me. I'm like, so I'm going crazy.
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I'm texting her like can you please stop doing this like this
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embarrassing. You're breaking my heart doing
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this type of stuff. Like just talk to me.
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I'm begging for her back. So she takes the messages and
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stuff that I send to her and and shows it to the manager, like
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the manager manager. So I'm in trouble now 'cause I'm
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the assistant manager and she's like a shift leader or whatever.
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I'm in trouble. I'm gonna get in trouble, I'm
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gonna get fired. I'm in trouble.
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I'm like, I can't deal with this.
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So yeah, I literally had to quit my job.
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I quit my job because she was driving me crazy bringing dudes
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in there. Then she told the told the head
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boss. Now I'm, I'm texting her and
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calling her. She's like, well, we dated it
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and he did it. I'm like, Oh my God, he's going
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crazy. He won't leave me alone.
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She's bringing dudes in there. Yo, we could go because we
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worked at a certain there's certain movie places closed now,
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right? She could go to any store and
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check out movies, but she decided to bring him right where
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I was to so I would see these people and she'd be looking at
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me the whole time checking them out, just staring me in my face
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hurt, breaking my heart every time I just Oh my God, she's
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breaking me down. I'm trying to get over, I'm
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trying to move on. I can't do this.
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So like I got to quit this job. I quit this job y'all when I was
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like 2324 years old, no backup play, no nothing.
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I just quit the job on a whim. I had a son I had to take care
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of. Like it's crazy.
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I was, the relationship was driving me crazy.
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It was like it went from hot and heavy talking about having a
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baby one or two months in to me not wanting to give her a baby.
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I think that hurt her ego. I was like, I'm not, I don't
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want to have babies back-to-back, right?
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I just have a three or four month old son at this time right
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now. Like I don't want to have two
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babies that have birthdays in the same year.
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I'm not. I don't want to have a bunch of
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baby Mamas bouncing around. That's crazy.
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That's so stereotypical. I can't do that.
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And that instead of just bring it on me, she just had to stay
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with me, hurt my ego just had to decided to crush my ego instead,
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right? She wanted to crush my ego
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instead because I hurt her feelings.
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She felt rejected because I didn't want to have a baby
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within three or four months of us dating.
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She decided that she would try to break my heart and hurt my
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feelings repeatedly over and over again.
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And no, she did get bringing dudes in there wanted to hurt
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me. I love this stinks, right?
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So I'm stinking it's hurting. My feelings are hurt.
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Everything is like I'm in so much pain in this situation,
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right, But you know what happens, don't you?
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Like I changed job. I finally get another job a
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couple months later, right, I'm working, I think it was Best Buy
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or circuit city. I know the Best Buy working at
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Best Buy for a little bit and guess what?
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Guess who comes in the Best Buy one day her Well, her new Boo.
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I'm like and guess who her new Boo was a guy that she that
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worked with us. He worked at the difference.
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They worked in the same company, but a different store.
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He was like came to our store and they started talking on the
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low sneaking right and now they together, then they end up
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getting married and then I'm like, oh like, Oh my goodness.
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She was talking to this dude too.
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She didn't know I worked at Best Buy, so I I scampered away, you
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know? I mean, I scampered into the
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back like a coward. I didn't want to see her with
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him. I was like, Oh my goodness, so
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far alone. Y'all know how long to me to
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heal from that? That back and forth stuff, the
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line, the manipulation. They're pop constantly bringing
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random dudes in the store and making me check them out and I
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would never see these dudes again.
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It'd be another dude the next time she come to the store.
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Yeah, boy, that was just crazy. But right begin just in the
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beginning, she definitely mirrored me and I mirrored her.
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I'm I'm a diagnosed narcissist and we both at the beginning, I
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think we both connected on the fact that our dads were had
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bought trauma into our lives. Like our dads were around but
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not super active. We had both had fathers in our
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lives, but they're not super active fathers.
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They're kind of like emotionally neglectful, not physically, but
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emotionally neglectful and they can create these these complexes
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within you. She ever had a complex and she
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was just, man, she was just losing the boy.
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She was, he was on a different level.
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But you know, I mean, all of that, I look at that now.
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She was just trauma. This, this, this, her own
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childhood trauma working out was it.
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I can let I can look at the story laugh now because yeah, I
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spent years in therapy talking about her getting over and
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whatnot. And I can look back at it now
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and laugh at certain situations, right.
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But wasn't funny when I was going through it, you know, And
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I just say what they say there right now.
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They're like, I hope she's doing well.
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I hope she's having an amazing life.
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It just didn't work between us. We both toxic anyway.
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She's a little bit more toxic to me.
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She if I were to say who who won the narcissist battle?
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She definitely beat me, right? She she defeated me.
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She she put a sword in my stomach and turned it.
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She won, which hurts my ego right to even admit, but she
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did. But she's I don't think, I don't
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think she's an evil person. I don't think she's an evil
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person. She's just damaged.
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She's a childhood trauma, neglect, that type of stuff
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happens. It creates these complexes in
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you and she definitely had a complex.
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I have a complex. I still have it now I'm I have
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narcissists. The person had the disorder.
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So I'm not I'm not an innocent victim.
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I'm not trying to play innocent victim in the story because I
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did my wrongdoings. I told y'all, I definitely got
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caught lying because of Jonathan.
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It wasn't Jonathan. I shouldn't have done it, right?
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Jonathan wouldn't have had anything to tell if I would have
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done it. We could have just played video
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games. We could have just played Guitar
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Hero, something right there. That's back in the day those
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days. Could you play Guitar Hero with
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my man Tony? But we didn't do that.
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We went to the club and but that's crazy, man.
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But she definitely married me. I married her.
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We matched energy. She just matched energy better.
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She was just better at doing this type of stuff because she's
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she's a beautiful woman. She's able to go around and get
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other dudes very quickly in and out the store.
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I'm like that. I can I can go to the many clubs
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I want to. I can't brain women in here like
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that. She beat me.
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She beat my ass. She I got to get up.
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My, my look, my emotional eyes are black.
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She blacked my emotional eyes. She beat there.
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She beat the emotional hell out of me.
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Took me through, take me through there.
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Take me through there. She took me through there.
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But that, that instance in dealing with that and healing
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from that or how I'm so able to talk to victims and give you
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their perspective because I've also been on the other side of
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that. Yeah.
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I remember yesterday's video about me dealing with a
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narcissistic friend. You know what I'm saying?
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I had a narcissistic friend. I had to cut off like so I've
15:56
had experienced little narcissistic friend,
15:58
narcissistic bosses. I had a boss story to tell you
16:00
too, right? Narcissistic girlfriends.
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And I have no hatred towards these narcissistic people in my
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life because I understand I'm a narcissist, right?
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I understand that there's things going inside.
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They have to deal with themselves.
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So I wish them the best. You know, marriage, kids,
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whatever you're looking for in life, I hope you're doing well.
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If you ever see this video, I hope you're doing well.
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This video was not to bash. It was just to say, hey, look,
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we matched energy. You got me.
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I did you wrong. You got me back, right?
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I started it, but you finish. You definitely finished it
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finished me off. But there's a part of it right
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there, right? And I just say that to say this,
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just watch out because especially the work
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relationships, because they the work relationship blew up in my
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face. It was fun while I was doing
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while I was going on sneaking around, doing our thing, right?
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But once it blew up, I had nowhere to go.
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I had to deal with. I had to face it in my face
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constantly. Now I got to the point where I
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just I couldn't, I was crying outside.
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I couldn't breathe right. I was like this girl killing me
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inside. Like she just she's literally
16:53
destroying me. And I'm glad I had.
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I'm glad I healed from that because overtime it took a while
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for the IT took a while to heal from that being realistic,
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right? It did.
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I'm still healing to this day. And I'll say again, healing
17:07
doesn't mean you have to stop healing.
17:09
Healing doesn't mean stationary. Healing just means healing.
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Healing means getting better. Healing means feeling better
17:14
over time. Like so.
17:15
Healing doesn't mean it's the end of the world for you.
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It just means hey look, take steps in the right direction,
17:20
take steps in the direction and whatnot.
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So anyways, y'all hope she's doing well.
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I hope you are doing well my narcissistic friends.
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I don't have any hatred in my heart for them.
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I really do pray for them. I hope you're doing great.
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If you ever watch this video should be a message I'll say
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hey, hope you're doing well. Seriously, my homeboy, I talked
17:37
about yesterday. You see this video, see
17:39
yesterday's video shoot me a message.
17:40
I'm cool like I'm not there's no ill will.
17:42
Hope you don't have no ill will towards me.
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But anyways, y'all hit the subscribe button.
17:46
If you like my story time like this, y'all my real life type of
17:48
stuff. I'll come up with some more
17:50
stories overtime 'cause I I got I'm 40 years old.
17:52
I've had a lot of stuff. I had a lot of stuff going in my
17:54
life that I'm so far out of that I can talk about now.
17:58
But yeah, this story, like I said, send your story.
18:00
If you want to tell your story, your very specific story, you
18:03
can be specific story, specific time of your life doesn't have
18:05
to be your whole relationship story.
18:07
Send me your story in for from a specific time of your life.
18:10
I'll do a video on it. Right, just like this.
18:13
Just send it to mentalhildnessmynamementalhildnessthe#85@gmail.com.
18:19
You can find it in the description as well.
18:21
Yeah. And if you follow this on my
18:23
podcast, subscribe to this podcast on Spotify, Apple Music,
18:26
gal, hit a thumbs up. Leave a comment.
18:27
Peace.