Latest / A Time to Sharpen / Celebrate Success

Transcript

Celebrate Success · A Time to Sharpen

0:09
Is there anything worse than a dull blade?
0:12
Well, yeah, lots of things. I guess, poverty war going to
0:18
take a shower in the morning. Only to realize your kids have
0:21
already blasted through all the hot water, seriously, though.
0:28
A dull blade is bad. It's unusable.
0:32
In fact it's downright dangerous knives.
0:36
Need sharpening from Whetstone Boys, Ranch in Mountain View.
0:40
Missouri comes a time to sharpen a Bi weekly podcast that
0:45
examines how we can all be better versions of ourselves
0:48
better teachers. Better counselors better
0:51
parents, better people. Change usually happens.
1:03
Slowly our minds and bodies are not capable of handling too much
1:07
all at once. It's actually kind of unhealthy.
1:11
Yes, there are baptisms of fire and God can pull off a road to
1:14
Damascus moment, any time he desires, but these seem to be
1:18
the exception at Whetstone graduations are a time to
1:22
publicly celebrate. The change that has occurred
1:24
within a young man, over many months, they are also a reminder
1:28
that whatever change occurs in his future.
1:30
ER will also take time, it will not all be smooth sailing from
1:33
now on. But when we live by faith, we
1:36
inevitably look back and see that God was in charge.
1:39
All along on this episode of a time to sharpen.
1:43
We'll talk about this process and celebrate Christ's work in
1:46
shaping, our boys hearts. Welcome back to a time to
1:58
sharpen. I'm Axel Lima.
1:59
Te I'm here with Brandon Maxwell who is fresh off of a vacation
2:03
down to New Orleans. Nollans, you feeling refreshed?
2:09
Yeah. It was fun.
2:10
We have talked about going down to Mardi Gras for a while.
2:15
My wife is from Lafayette, Louisiana, we got married in
2:19
2005, so there's been a lot. Mardi Gras was between that
2:24
point and now and we've talked about going and her sister has
2:28
been trying to get us to go and it just hasn't worked out.
2:30
And we finally said, you know what?
2:32
Let's just go. Yeah, and we went and we didn't
2:35
quite know what to expect new a little bit of everybody knows.
2:38
Here's about Mardi, Gras and Bourbon Street and all the
2:41
craziness and so there's certainly some of that there but
2:45
you kind of stay away from Bourbon Street and that part of
2:49
it. And you get further up Up from,
2:52
you know, there, it's miles of parades, you know, so it's like
2:54
rice 6 miles that the Parade's happen.
2:57
And so you kind of get up where they start away from Bourbon
3:01
Street and it's there's a lot of families and they have been his
3:04
food and yeah. He's up there as well, right?
3:06
Yeah. But we didn't get any Beignets.
3:08
That's more down on the French Quarter.
3:11
I mean we had plenty of pulled pork and Buddha.
3:16
Yeah you know there's you know, it's crawfish season at all kind
3:20
of Works together with Mardi Gras and crawfish seasons of
3:24
people were frying that up. You can smell that everywhere
3:27
and so it was fun. It was a cool atmosphere.
3:30
It's cool to see the history of New Orleans and just some of the
3:35
they call them Cruise. Okay, Ari.
3:37
We so everybody's got all the floats are different Crews and
3:42
they have different themes. And so it's just just fun for
3:46
families, get together and go out there and eat and they throw
3:49
candy at the kids and they throw candy.
3:51
You know, means they throw footballs a throw basketballs a,
3:54
anything you can imagine like, Koozies and you got a few of
3:58
those things up on eBay. We'll put well, we we brought
4:03
wouldn't, it's amazing. How much of that stuff gets left
4:06
on the street and, you know, they're required to spend
4:11
thousands of dollars. Each of these members of the
4:13
crews they have to spend their own money to throw the stuff.
4:16
I've got 6 Mi Tri club or something.
4:18
Yeah it is it's a country club or Social Club.
4:21
So, there's a lot of history there, but there's you can't
4:26
imagine, like, 46 miles of a float to have enough stuff to
4:31
throw 46 miles, right? You got to have a pretty good
4:33
amount of stuff, right? So anyways, it's it's all this
4:37
plastic beads and stuff from China, A lot of it, but some of,
4:41
it's actually, some pretty decent stuff.
4:43
So, anyway, yeah, I was just looking at.
4:46
It was just so much waste and stuff, and I was like, well, you
4:49
know, in the kids brought home all kinds of Now you'd be you
4:52
got to be careful because that's how I got my start and and
4:55
collecting junk that's up. But yeah, I know how are you
4:59
guys literally out of the garbage and selling it?
5:01
I know a few guys who do the eBay thing and, of course, Wills
5:06
been selling a few things on with coins and but yeah.
5:10
So I just checked some eBay and what, what some of those items
5:13
were going for, and it's like, oh yeah, I'll give definitely
5:16
some of that stuff is selling. So yeah, figured well, would
5:19
have fun doing good luck with that.
5:21
Yeah, I'll makes you think how it goes.
5:24
If that's the case, will then we'll be going every year and
5:28
will pay for itself. Exactly.
5:30
Come back and with a horde of things.
5:33
Well I'm glad you did that. It's a it's not easy to put six
5:36
kids and your wife in the car and drive 500 Miles.
5:40
What is it? Yeah, it's a, it's a nine-hour
5:44
drive regular. Yeah, it took us a level, so,
5:47
with our kids hard, but it's good.
5:49
Yeah, you got to say, exactly. We're going back and forth, you
5:52
can always come up with excuses of why not to do it, but we
5:56
finally just said, we're just going to do it and let the chips
5:59
fall where they may and we got to get the cousins together and
6:03
you just got to do those things and and do it.
6:06
So anyway, we're very glad we did it.
6:10
Well, one one bad thing that happened as a result of you
6:14
going, as it, you weren't able to be here for our last
6:16
graduation. And that's something we wanted
6:19
to talk about. Brandon's been to Virtually
6:22
every graduation we've had since, since we started in 2011,
6:25
along with me and, and Jeremy. And we're up to over 50 now, 50
6:30
graduations, which is exciting. And it went well, even though we
6:36
didn't have your what we had your video.
6:38
Yeah, I did the video, you know, I kind of said my goodbyes
6:42
before I left, right, and did all that.
6:45
But yeah, it is, it was, that was part of the decision.
6:48
Was like, man, we gotta we need to leave on Friday.
6:50
We had a graduation. Duration on Friday.
6:52
And right, it was not easy to miss.
6:54
But, yeah, well, we had your back and we kind of have a
6:58
system around here for graduations and ceremonies.
7:01
And we thought we'd talk about that today since its kind of
7:04
fresh in our mind. And it's an aspect of the
7:06
program that we haven't talked about in detail.
7:09
We've talked some about the importance of ceremony on
7:12
previous podcasts. You know how it's important to
7:14
recognize achievements and and to let guys know that you see
7:18
them and you know, We all need those Pat's on the back and
7:23
those attaboys. And when you're a teenager and
7:26
you're living in conflict with your parents and vice versa
7:30
parents with their kids, it's it's hard sometimes to to see
7:34
the positive and you just attend to see some of the negative
7:37
things. So if you have something built
7:39
in, it can be like a Fail-Safe for your relationship.
7:43
Yeah, we have a phrase that we use around here is with the
7:47
staff is just try to catch the guys, doing something good.
7:51
There's always things to correct.
7:54
There's, you know, as as mentors and as parents sometimes we feel
7:59
like that's all we do. But we can't miss catching our
8:04
kids doing something right and doing something good and
8:07
admonishing them and recognizing them because that's just as
8:11
important if not more important than yeah.
8:14
Always because our kids always feel like we're correcting them.
8:17
Yeah. Yeah and another thing and this
8:20
is ironic I didn't really appreciate this before.
8:24
We started working in the Boys, Ranch business is the idea of
8:30
how hug difficult it is to take a compliment.
8:32
For some people, it's kind of hard for all of us on some
8:35
level. It's a little embarrassing.
8:37
You don't exactly know how to respond and you feel a little
8:40
put on the spot. It feels good but it feels a
8:42
little awkward. But with our guys it's it's more
8:46
extreme. They have really unpredictable
8:49
reactions to to compliment. And to being told in front of
8:53
other people that they're doing well, it just feels wrong and
8:56
uncomfortable and they'll sometimes have a response which
9:01
is very counterintuitive where they are so uncomfortable that
9:06
they'll act out so that they'll get the negative feedback that
9:08
feels right and you end up in this really weird Loop.
9:11
So the have to learn. They have to practice and learn
9:14
how to receive a compliment. Yeah, we have something every
9:18
week that that we give the boys. Most improved boy award.
9:24
It's been named some different things over the years, but now
9:27
it's just a boy every week. We try to nominate somebody
9:30
who's shown the most Improvement and I would say probably 50
9:37
percent of the time when a boy is doing good and shows some
9:39
improvement and then we give them the Accolade.
9:41
Hey you've got most improved boy we kind of make a big deal about
9:45
it, not like a huge deal but they get some extra perks, they
9:49
get some extra coffee time. With mr.
9:51
Thompson, they give it extra phone call just some things like
9:54
that and they get the recognition in front of their
9:56
peers. Hey, we want to recognize it.
9:59
You were the most improved. Well very often like I said
10:03
about 50 percent of the times they like turn around the next
10:06
week and just tanked it. Yeah, you know, because it's
10:08
like it's not a place that they're comfortable in and I
10:13
think that's why I like you alluded to it, they're not used
10:15
to it. I remember Minds me, I can youth
10:18
group. My youth Minister used to do
10:20
something called The hot seat and it was usually done at like
10:23
camp and he would take somebody and put them in the hot seat.
10:30
And then everybody had to say something positive about them,
10:35
just give them accolades or just people speaking into that person
10:39
of hey I like this about you. I admire this about you and you
10:44
could just like physically, see the squirming and the on
10:47
discomfort and we're just when the eyes are on us and It's just
10:51
a hard place to be, sometimes it, get praise heat on us.
10:56
Yeah, yeah. And added to that is the idea
10:59
that you might be perceived as a teacher's pet or that you're you
11:03
know brown-nosing or whatever term that we have right for
11:07
someone who's being not authentic and for our guys, some
11:12
of them like keeping it real, keeping it 100, you know, no
11:16
Cap. All these terms that they have
11:18
for being Jit that kind of comes back to haunt to bite them
11:24
because they can't get out of that that mindset of being the
11:29
black sheep. And so like I said it just it's
11:33
just takes some practice and they get they do.
11:36
They do get better at it. Another thing that we see when
11:40
we, when we have these graduations of these ceremonies
11:42
is the effect that it has on the other guys, and that's mixed.
11:45
Also, it's obviously positive for to create some good vibes.
11:51
And an environment where where people are lifted up.
11:54
Instead of put down, they can see that other guys are being
11:57
successful. And if they did it, that I can
11:59
do it. But there's also some, maybe a
12:03
little bit of jealousy, a little bit of Envy, a little bit of
12:08
fear that that we're actually ironically getting closer to
12:14
like, leaving the program. We see you guys regresses.
12:16
They get to the point where they're going to go home, which
12:19
is the ultimate goal, which is what they want.
12:21
But when they get closer to it, they recoil from it.
12:24
Yeah, and then there's this, there's this bittersweetness,
12:29
especially with ceremonies where I'm saying, goodbye to someone
12:32
who I've grown close to was my friend and I'm happy for him.
12:36
I'm also sad for me because I'm being left behind and he's not
12:40
going to be here with me anymore and so we'll see some regression
12:44
in the entire household all of the boys at the same time.
12:48
Yeah. Yeah.
12:49
Dynamics changed. Classically, even with one boy.
12:54
A lot of times leaving or coming and I think boys don't like like
13:00
a lot of us, they don't like change, they kind of got gotten
13:03
used to. It was here change.
13:05
Yeah, we fear change so there's yeah, there's a lot of emotion
13:10
that can be wrapped up in that and so I think when a boy we're
13:15
obviously set up to have a lot of structure here and boys do
13:19
well in that structure and that structure is hard to maintain.
13:22
I mean, parents cannot maintain the same structure that we do
13:25
here. It's just different different
13:28
animal. So I think the boys have done so
13:32
much work when they get to the point of graduating that they
13:35
want to prove to their parents that they've changed and that
13:41
that they're different and they don't know what that's going to
13:45
look like when they go home they don't know what the structure is
13:47
going to look like. And they feel like these
13:49
contracts that the therapist or Working on and their parents are
13:52
working on and they've had this success.
13:56
And they're not used to that and they just don't, they want
13:59
everything to be smooth when they go home and they're just
14:03
afraid of messing up. And so, all that creates some
14:07
anxiety before they leave. Yeah, I had the image as you
14:10
were talking about those things of playing Jenga and we build
14:15
this, we have the structure and this structure is working for us
14:18
and we preached the importance of Luxury in routine to the
14:22
boys. And then we pull a piece out of
14:25
this structure that we've carefully built.
14:27
And we say all right now, maintain your balance, we're not
14:32
doing that intentionally obviously to try to set them up
14:35
for failure. But but we are, if especially if
14:39
we're not aware of it and we just, you know, we don't see
14:43
what's going on and we're not taking time to analyze it as a
14:45
staff and talking to each other. But yeah, that's a good analogy.
14:51
She actually, because sometimes we do purposely pull pieces out.
14:56
Like room changes. Yeah, you know, it's like we've
14:59
changed rooms. Probably at least once a month.
15:02
If, if it needs to be more than that.
15:04
We'll do it, but it's just to put them again, put them in a
15:08
position. That's a little uncomfortable
15:10
for them and for them to navigate new things, we put them
15:15
in position, just, I mean therapy, there's things that are
15:18
done in therapy, that put them in a position that It is
15:21
uncomfortable. I mean, we all grow the most
15:23
when we're in uncomfortable, in done, sometimes, unbalanced
15:27
situations, and that's part of sharpening.
15:30
The character of young men as our mission States is to put
15:34
them in positions that are the most most allow them to grow and
15:40
a lot of times that's create someone discount.
15:43
Yeah, life is unpredictable and we can't, we don't want our guys
15:47
to be institutionalized. We don't want them to become so
15:50
accustomed to Team that they can adapt Roll With the Flow.
15:54
It's one reason why we love going out into nature and have
15:56
an adventure week is nature is just unpredictable the weather.
16:00
What's going to happen clay? Yeah, it's your you win.
16:05
So, nature is a good teacher for in that in that respect, it
16:12
teaches us to kind of live in the now, and to take what we
16:14
have. And to not, not take too much,
16:17
you know, not to expect too much of yourself, so, So, yeah, so
16:22
structure, finding that perfect balance of structure and also of
16:28
unpredictability, that, that life is prone to throw our way.
16:34
Well, talking more about the graduation.
16:38
We have our little things that we do at graduation to kind of
16:43
encourage the boys as they go out the door.
16:46
Some of us have Latin. Well, Matt Foster was our
16:50
therapist. He was Was known for being the
16:52
Latin phrase guy program at. This is the program at this and
16:55
he would always get a really cool Latin phrase ready and be
16:59
ready to share, how it will help him in his in his life to come.
17:03
I like to hand out records 45s or LPS or sometimes I do
17:07
baseball cards. Yeah mr.
17:10
Newell has his. Yeah animal, it's a Latin.
17:14
Uh-huh. He's got the Latin phrase for or
17:17
the name for a particular animal, huh?
17:21
Kind of his shtick, right eye. And now gives a frisbee.
17:25
Yeah, you said he's out a disc. I always hand out the Branded
17:30
gloves. Just kind of signifying.
17:34
Hey you've done a lot of work and you got more work to do as
17:37
you go home, right. We give them a multi-tool that's
17:42
engraved with their name and the year and kind of the Whetstone
17:46
brand on that. Yeah.
17:47
Little speech that goes along with that tool about Don't be a
17:51
tool. Yeah, throw that out.
17:53
Don't be a fool. Don't be a tool, but but then
17:56
realize that you've been given some some tools during your time
17:59
here at Whetstone that will serve you.
18:00
Well, yeah, but I thought it would be fun to read a chapter
18:06
from a book that I co-wrote with two other staff members, coconut
18:11
tools, wind that we've read Mass chapter that I referenced
18:17
because it does paint a really good picture of what that
18:19
ceremony is like. And the ceremonies have changed
18:22
somewhat over the years, we've had to scale them back because
18:24
of some of the issues that we, that we talked about earlier,
18:28
some of the triggers that, that we weren't aware of originally.
18:32
And as they got larger and more unwieldy and took up more time
18:35
in our schedule, we had to kind of make them a little more,
18:37
private little more, little more, scaled down, but Matt's
18:41
describing the way we used to do ceremonies and some of it's very
18:44
similar. So if you will just indulge me a
18:47
little bit and I'll read this. And I also kind of wanted to
18:50
give people sample of what the book is like, right, you can get
18:54
it on Amazon. I mentioned that we're also
18:55
working on an audiobook, Becca eastling is working on that and
18:59
hopefully that's going to be coming out in the next month or
19:01
so. So works.
19:02
I'm going to excited about that. This chapter is called Terra
19:06
incognita. This is the end, the end of
19:10
Kay's, residents at Whetstone, Boys Ranch.
19:13
He wears a nice fitting, pair of Wrangler jeans along with a
19:16
neatly tucked, snap button shirt, leather belt and Justin
19:19
Boots shined just for the occasion.
19:22
He looks good. He looks ready.
19:25
He's come a long way from the boy who locked himself in his
19:28
parents car on the first day and refused to come out banging and
19:31
thrashing on the console. It took several hours of coaxing
19:34
to get him out and his parents back in This evening, he'll be
19:38
on the road to Nebraska, which, by the way, you can't get to,
19:41
from here, I know so much more than you guys.
19:44
He told one staff member on his first day, rolling, his eyes and
19:47
heaving, a world weary sigh that still hangs in the driveway, one
19:50
year later as the program director and therapist, I rarely
19:54
sit during a boy's graduation ceremony.
19:57
I'm too worked up and this day is no exception.
20:00
Typically, I stand in the back, all five feet, nine inches of my
20:04
sturdy, figure hidden in the adjoining kitchen Shadows.
20:07
Where IP route from behind stylish glasses and a neatly
20:10
trimmed goatee. Some might say I'm here because
20:13
I get a jump start on the tasty snacks which follow and they
20:16
would not be wrong but it also gives me a great opportunity to
20:19
look over the whole crowd and celebrate this special day.
20:23
An Eclectic mix has gathered on this occasion for K 1 month.
20:26
Before the tornado. There are the obligatory
20:29
invitees, the staff of the residents and immediate family,
20:33
there are doctors clergy volunteers board members and
20:36
beneficiaries. This boy's community service.
20:38
All have crammed into the tiny living room and onto every piece
20:41
of furniture. We can justify sitting on and
20:44
some that we can't, it's a special event and it should be.
20:48
Okay is worked hard for 12 months and he has earned a bona.
20:50
Fide celebration, the occasion demands that I draw from my
20:54
deep, well of Latin phrases and deliver, one perfectly suited
20:58
for this boy and his family, during a short speech it's a
21:01
matte Foster tradition. Other staff have their
21:04
graduation thing, vintage vinyl artwork.
21:06
Like, poetry and live music to name a few.
21:09
I'm the Latin phrase guy, their routine axioms.
21:13
I am prone to using during counseling sessions, aren't
21:15
going to cut it today. I've already covered quid pro
21:18
quo, tabula rasa and post, hoc Ergo propter, hoc Ad nauseam.
21:23
This must be more, it must be a profound utterance from one of
21:27
the Ancients reaching out to us from across the centuries.
21:30
Now, pressure having carefully, written it on a three by five
21:33
card that fits neatly in the palm of my hand, I will soon.
21:36
Move to the front of the room and stand before the large
21:39
crowd, with the Showcase mantle and fireplaces.
21:42
My dramatic backdrop, I will read the Latin phrase careful to
21:45
get those tricky vowels, just, right?
21:47
Offer a brief and poignant explanation and then drop the
21:50
mic. At least, that's how I see it in
21:53
my mind's eye, according to the ceremony protocol.
21:56
I have the advantage of following case slideshow.
21:59
It's a carefully prepared synopsis of Kay's, time at
22:01
Whetstone complete, with Ken Burns, styled, Transitions and
22:04
music chosen just for the occasion.
22:07
Even the other boys, pay close attention for the 10 minutes
22:09
that it takes to show his journey from frowning and from P
22:12
to smiling and Serene. It's nice and no one tries to
22:16
hide back the tears, but I like the slideshow for another
22:19
reason, I like it because it is the perfect harbinger of This
22:23
Boy's Life to come. This is because almost without
22:26
fail, the slideshow experiences, some sort of technical
22:29
difficulty, whether it's the Antiquated computer, the
22:33
unreliable, rural internet, the beleaguered projector, or just
22:36
the Of being pressed for time, the presentation never goes
22:39
exactly as axle plans and that's what makes it.
22:42
So moving at least for me, it's an ironic foreshadowing of Life
22:46
to Come. Nothing ever goes.
22:49
Exactly like we planned and this seems especially true when we
22:52
have been planning for a long time.
22:54
There's just more pressure. There is more than can go wrong.
22:57
And in more ways than we can imagine.
23:00
This young man's life is not going to go, like he thinks and
23:03
that's okay. Often things, work out even
23:05
better that way. Eventually, of course, the
23:08
glitches get worked out and the slideshow Glides to an end.
23:11
The last picture, a profile of K, pick a portrait of K still
23:15
hanging on the projector screen Larger than Life.
23:18
It will be the one that we frame and put on the wall outside my
23:21
office, where all graduation photos are displayed, the crowd
23:25
is poised. It's my turn.
23:27
I step forward from the back, picking my way through the crowd
23:29
of benches and dining room chairs assembled in front of me.
23:32
I pause adjust my glasses and look down at my card.
23:36
Rub the top of my head for effect channeling.
23:39
My best Marcus, Aurelius voice, I read come Grano Salis.
23:44
It's Latin for with a grain of salt, the gist of this phrase,
23:48
as I explained is that we should maintain a healthy amount of
23:51
skepticism and caution in order to find balance to the ancient
23:55
Romans sold symbolized wisdom because it made the bitterness
23:58
of life easier to swallow. If you're wise, I hear myself
24:01
saying Decay, you'll learn to digest most things with a grain
24:05
of salt. You and Her parents will get
24:07
through the difficult days ahead.
24:08
If you don't take each other too, seriously, by all means,
24:12
use the advice that you've been given here at Whetstone, but
24:15
take, even that with a grain of salt and season it for your
24:17
circumstance. That's the difference between
24:20
knowledge and wisdom whom Grano Salis.
24:23
It's a bit of a stretch and I haven't done enough research, in
24:26
my limited preparation time to know that it's not a pseudo at
24:29
Amala G, but I think it'll do I hand him the white index card
24:33
and pull them in close for a hug finally as things dry.
24:36
To a close people. Start shaking hands and making
24:39
promises to stay in touch, parents and staff.
24:41
Snap last-minute photos on their phones.
24:44
The last crumbs of cake are nibbled at and hot coffee is
24:47
poured for the road Outdoors. K takes one last ceremonial
24:51
disc, golf shot hoping to make a hole in one and pocket. 100
24:55
bucks indoors. He wipes his name from the chore
24:58
board, a box, spilling with memories.
25:00
In a few bags of clothes are thrown into the back of a van
25:04
and whoosh, a young man, heads back home.
25:06
Ready to tackle the Terra incognita.
25:12
Again. Of there it is.
25:15
There it is. It's pretty good description.
25:17
Yeah, very good. What about chapter?
25:20
So yeah, there's not a whole lot that has changed a few things,
25:25
the way we do. Hmm, somebody depends on on the
25:29
staff, you know, we have yum, Tom Brown, who we need to say a
25:35
big shout-out action. Yes, Brown.
25:38
Thank you. Thank you.
25:39
Thank you for just doing a lot of the editing for these
25:42
podcasts and yeah, Yeah. Things like this is actually
25:45
probably editing right now because we have a ceremony not
25:48
for a podcast but we have a ceremony this afternoon, a level
25:50
3 ceremony, right? So he's up there, putting his
25:52
quirky touches on movie slideshow.
25:56
I usually will hand off the pictures to him and then he'll
25:58
add video and It's really hard to describe.
26:03
What Tom does. Yeah, his special sauce is you
26:07
just got a note Thomas? Yeah, he's just, he loves
26:12
movies, he loved music, he loves producing different things,
26:16
obscure obscure stuff are ya. So, yeah, we kind of let Tom do
26:20
his thing and put his little twist on it and there, they
26:23
always come out hilarious and and fun.
26:26
So he's put his twist on the graduations.
26:29
Now, with some of his Is producing and the auction work.
26:33
So but they're, you know, they're 30 40 minutes long and
26:36
we the families are here and we all just kind of have our little
26:41
two to three minute should be love, giving, you know, speaking
26:44
into their lives, before they leave here and then it sits on a
26:50
SD card or a flash drive, they can, they can take it home, they
26:54
can. Hopefully, I've always imagined
26:56
that they will take it back out and listen to it.
26:59
And when they're down or when they Need some encouragement.
27:01
So it's not just a in one ear and out the other kind of deal.
27:05
Yeah. And the for me graduations have
27:08
always been a great reminder for really what the families are
27:16
dealing with early on and just kind of the journey at home.
27:22
It's easy for us to kind of day in day out.
27:25
Kind of do our thing working with the kids and school and the
27:28
work program and out. Of sight, out of mind, sometimes
27:32
with the families and you know, our therapist are really, the
27:35
only ones who work hand-in-hand with the families on a regular
27:38
basis or their parents Gabe and so and gay.
27:41
Yeah, the teachers. So for some of us, you know, we
27:45
don't just not, we have other things going on, we just don't
27:48
see the, what's going on in the family and just, it's
27:51
graduations are a great reminder for us to appreciate that.
27:57
And I appreciate the the his how big of a deal it is for a family
28:00
to give With a bunch of strangers like us initially.
28:04
Ownership essentially custody of their kid to be able to 24/7
28:10
pour into them. I mean that's a big deal and so
28:13
we give parents that you know opportunity to kind of have the
28:16
last word. That's a kind of how graduation
28:19
reps up is for them to get to speak in a public Arena to their
28:24
son. Most importantly of how proud of
28:28
them they are. And then they always, you know,
28:30
have some accolades for what stone staff and just
28:33
thankfulness for Or what what we were able to do in the time
28:38
here. Yeah.
28:39
So that's a, it's just a great. It puts everything in
28:41
perspective and it's very encouraging for staff and and
28:46
for the boys, yeah, to see the progress, the slide shows always
28:49
two are like my talks about it in the chapter, but to watch it
28:54
happen in a 10-minute slideshow. To see the kid who comes in his
28:58
hairs usually disheveled or long and he's wearing whatever he's
29:03
wearing any Could be like high fashion like.
29:06
Yeah, that is like way over the top, or it could just be, he's
29:10
just totally, like not caring about his physical appearance at
29:14
all. And then to see that kid who
29:16
doesn't want to be here. And, and just, you can see, as
29:20
in his posture and space where he's at, and those pictures and
29:23
then to see him smiling and proud and, and just to stand on
29:27
this Mountaintop and to see what God has been able to do through
29:33
us, because we don't, we don't see It as it's happening, it
29:36
happens. So slowly those changes.
29:38
Yeah, but to know that God is constantly just kind of working
29:41
at working through that boy and through the counselors and
29:44
through the teachers and and through the evening staff and
29:47
through the conversations they're having with the parents,
29:50
very slowly over over a period of six to twelve months.
29:54
There's some real change that happens.
29:56
Yeah. Celebrate it before.
29:59
Our eyes in the slideshow. Yeah, yeah.
30:01
So it's neat to see that. So we Once you are going to end
30:05
this with a testimonial, from a parent who commented on a
30:10
Facebook post that we do, if you're interested in seeing some
30:13
of these things that we've been talking about if you check out
30:14
our social media accounts, you'll see a lot of some of
30:16
these pictures and we put some slide shows up.
30:19
The Tom works on that I work on but we posted one recently we
30:24
call them Wit's End and Jason Whittingham works in the
30:27
schoolroom. Some helps us out with just
30:30
public relations and fundraising and stuff like that.
30:33
He's a really interesting. A guy who grew up here locally
30:36
and he's got a really nice, nice voice, a pleasant voice, I
30:40
think, and a really quirky way of unique, way of looking at the
30:43
world. So he writes a little something.
30:45
I put some pictures to it and some music and then we post it,
30:47
we call it Wit's End you know because that's his name winning
30:49
him. So we put one up just a couple
30:51
days ago and apparent commented and we wanted to read that.
30:56
Just as a Just encourage you. I just to wrap up with this and
31:01
and as I was alluding to a parent's journey through what
31:04
stone and appreciating that she speaks a little bit to that in
31:07
her comment. So just wanted to read that and
31:12
this particular podcast with her quote.
31:15
So here it is. So grateful for the soft Landing
31:19
that Whetstone provides for these guys and the love and
31:21
encouragement that is poured out to them every single day.
31:25
My son had a storm raging inside of him before Whetstone but
31:30
found peace. He was full of sadness and
31:33
frustration, but found much much joy after spending time at the
31:37
ranch. The beginning was hard and scary
31:42
but the journey was worth it and became a breathtaking story of
31:46
redemption. While I wouldn't have chosen
31:49
this hard for our family. I'm so grateful that God's ways
31:53
are better than mine and that I was able to witness God,
31:56
steadfast love through the staff at Whetstone and the
31:59
transformation that happened. My son is thriving now.
32:05
It's pretty pretty powerful. Praise the Lord are so.
32:10
So, yeah. So it's a very, very difficult
32:14
Journey, but often very rewarding Journey but I don't
32:20
want to make any, you know, I don't not every Journeys the
32:24
same, right? Not every parent, has that same
32:28
experience, not every boy, graduate every boyfriend program
32:31
so we don't have. So But we still believe that
32:36
there are seeds that are planted.
32:38
You know, there are frozen words that are spoken in two boys
32:41
lives and that God will give the increase so we praise him for
32:45
that. Yeah.
32:47
And pray for many, many more graduations.
32:51
Yum. We are trying to start another
32:54
house for nine boys, and we just had an event.
32:58
That was a fun event for our 30 by 30 campaign was a local
33:03
event. Just really our first awareness
33:05
Dash fundraising event. We've raised almost 900,000 of
33:11
the three million to for this next phase.
33:14
So right, we believe, God is doing big things and allowing us
33:19
to hopefully serve more families and have a lot.
33:21
More graduations. Right down the road.
33:23
Yeah, yep. I'm doing the little raise the
33:26
roof motion here as whoop. So yeah, we'll continue to keep
33:32
you guys. Dated on that, but we really
33:35
appreciate you listening. Spread the word, you know,
33:39
subscribe like share thankyou to Thomas Brown for editing this.
33:45
We're we are feel bad that we have not mentioned any more
33:48
frequently because he's a guy behind the scenes and we want
33:53
him to know how much we appreciate the work that he
33:55
does. And he does just a ton of stuff
33:57
around here that's behind the scenes as well real.
33:59
Yeah, not a layer, a lot of late-night talks with boys.
34:02
He's He feels that a lot of gaps will have him on you'll get to
34:07
hear his side of things. It's okay, well, Brandis been
34:11
great talking with you. I look forward to another good
34:14
conversation in a couple weeks. Yeah, it's always fun.
34:17
We'll see you guys later. All right, Tucker.
34:29
What's Down Boys. Ranch is a therapeutic boarding
34:31
school located in the sea. Enoch Ozarks of southern
34:34
Missouri. It was founded in 2011 to serve
34:38
families from around the country.
34:40
We're struggling with challenging behaviors from their
34:42
12. To 16 year old Sons.
34:44
Our mission is to sharpen the character of young men.
34:48
Please visit Whetstone Boys, Ranch.com if you want to learn
34:51
more about our program or about how to contact us for help,
34:55
thanks for listening and we hope to catch you next time on a time
34:58
to sharpen.