Latest / The Puppy Training Podcast / Episode #290 Intentionally Building a Confident Puppy
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: A confident dog isn't created by simply hoping they'll grow out of their fears.
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Confidence is built through hundreds of small, successful experiences.
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: In today's episode, we are talking about the confidence ladder and how you can intentionally help your dog become more comfortable with new objects, surfaces, sounds, people, obstacles, and unexpected experiences.
- 0:21SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Puppy Training Podcast, the show designed to help you raise a confident, well-behaved puppy using positive practical training methods.
- 0:29SPEAKER_00: Each week we'll explore real-life training strategies, break down common puppy challenges, and give you clear, step-by-step guidance you can start using right away.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: Whether you're dealing with potty training, biting, jumping, or just want to build a stronger bond with your pupp as their handler, you're in the right place.
- 0:44SPEAKER_00: Hi you guys, welcome to the puppy training podcast.
- 0:46SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're here.
- 0:48SPEAKER_00: Today we're talking about confidence.
- 0:50SPEAKER_00: In some puppies, they have a lot, and in other puppies, they need some help with this.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: And our goal is to help our puppy learn I can handle new things.
- 0:59SPEAKER_00: When we bring home a puppy, we often think about socialization as introducing them to as many people, places, dogs, and experiences as possible.
- 1:07SPEAKER_00: But confidence building is not really about just checking those boxes.
- 1:10SPEAKER_00: It's about teaching your puppy a pattern.
- 1:12SPEAKER_00: Puppies love patterns.
- 1:13SPEAKER_00: That's how they learn.
- 1:15SPEAKER_00: We want them to say, I see something new, I can check it out, I can stay calm, I can figure this out.
- 1:21SPEAKER_00: And if something surprises me, I can recover.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: That last part is really important.
- 1:26SPEAKER_00: We don't need our puppies to be fearless.
- 1:28SPEAKER_00: In fact, I don't think fearless is the goal at all.
- 1:30SPEAKER_00: The goal is a puppy who can experience something unfamiliar, feel a little uncertain, and then recover.
- 1:36SPEAKER_00: We call it a bounce back.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: That's confidence.
- 1:39SPEAKER_00: So this is where we are going to talk about the idea of a confidence ladder.
- 1:44SPEAKER_00: Imagine that every new experience has different levels or rungs.
- 1:48SPEAKER_00: At the bottom of the ladder is something your puppy already knows and feels really comfortable with.
- 1:53SPEAKER_00: As you move up the ladder, you're going to gradually introduce something that is a little more challenging.
- 1:57SPEAKER_00: Now, this mistake that we sometimes make is jumping from the bottom of the ladder all the way to the top.
- 2:02SPEAKER_00: For example, if I have a puppy who's nervous about new people, so I take them to a busy outdoor event with hundreds of people, that's not really building confidence.
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: We actually call that flooding.
- 2:12SPEAKER_00: That's asking the puppy to cope.
- 2:13SPEAKER_00: Instead, we want to find that next rung on the ladder.
- 2:16SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's standing 20 feet away from one friendly person, and then 15 feet away and 10 feet away, and then allowing the person to toss a food reward, and then allowing the puppy to approach if they want to, and then perhaps a brief touch again if they're willing.
- 2:30SPEAKER_00: Now each successful experience is going to make that next step a little easier.
- 2:34SPEAKER_00: Confidence grows through successes.
- 2:37SPEAKER_00: Let's start with novel objects.
- 2:39SPEAKER_00: Puppies live in a world filled with things that look, sound, and move differently than anything they've seen before.
- 2:45SPEAKER_00: Simple things like a box, an umbrella, a suitcase, garbage can, a bicycle, vacuum cleaner, lawn chair garden hose, a plastic bag blowing across the yard, statues, Halloween decorations.
- 2:57SPEAKER_00: It's almost that time of year.
- 2:58SPEAKER_00: Maybe some furniture that's actually just been moved.
- 3:02SPEAKER_00: It's surprising sometimes to us what seems like novel to them.
- 3:06SPEAKER_00: So these things are completely ordinary, but to a puppy, sometimes they can seem really strange.
- 3:11SPEAKER_00: So let's intentionally create opportunities for our puppy to investigate new objects.
- 3:16SPEAKER_00: Now here's the key.
- 3:17SPEAKER_00: We don't want to force our puppy to approach anything.
- 3:19SPEAKER_00: We want to put the object somewhere, our puppy can see it.
- 3:22SPEAKER_00: And then we get to let our puppy decide what to do.
- 3:24SPEAKER_00: Maybe they look at it, great, mark that, reward it.
- 3:27SPEAKER_00: Maybe they take one step toward it, great.
- 3:29SPEAKER_00: Again, reward it.
- 3:30SPEAKER_00: Maybe they sniff it, reward that.
- 3:32SPEAKER_00: Maybe they walk away and come back.
- 3:34SPEAKER_00: That's okay too.
- 3:35SPEAKER_00: We're teaching.
- 3:36SPEAKER_00: When I see something unfamiliar, I can check it out on my own pace.
- 3:41SPEAKER_00: And you make this into a little game.
- 3:43SPEAKER_00: We put an empty cardboard box in the room, for example.
- 3:45SPEAKER_00: Let our puppy look at it, and then we toss a food reward near the box.
- 3:49SPEAKER_00: Next, treat a little closer.
- 3:50SPEAKER_00: Eventually, your puppy may walk right up to it, and you can also change the object without changing the game.
- 3:55SPEAKER_00: One day it's a box, maybe the next day it's an umbrella or a laundry basket.
- 3:59SPEAKER_00: You get the idea.
- 4:00SPEAKER_00: So we're building a puppy who doesn't automatically assume new means scary.
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: Instead, we're teaching new means, hey, let's check it out.
- 4:09SPEAKER_00: All right, the next drung on our confidence ladder is going to be surfaces today.
- 4:12SPEAKER_00: So puppies need to learn that the ground doesn't always feel the same.
- 4:16SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
- 4:17SPEAKER_00: As they walk on grass, that's going to feel differently than concrete or asphalt or tile or hard wood.
- 4:23SPEAKER_00: Hard wood can be really slippery, so that can make puppies nervous.
- 4:26SPEAKER_00: Um, carpet, rubber mats, grates, what else?
- 4:29SPEAKER_00: Sand, gravel, wet grass versus dry grass.
- 4:32SPEAKER_00: You guys, there's lots of different surfaces.
- 4:35SPEAKER_00: A grooming table, a scale, a ramp, even something as simple as a towel on the floor can feel strange to a puppy.
- 4:41SPEAKER_00: So again, we don't want to force them.
- 4:43SPEAKER_00: Instead, we're just going to create tiny challenges.
- 4:45SPEAKER_00: We can place a towel on the floor, let our puppy look at it, reward them.
- 4:49SPEAKER_00: Maybe they step on it with one foot, pay them again.
- 4:51SPEAKER_00: Then two feet, pay them again.
- 4:53SPEAKER_00: Maybe they walk across it.
- 4:54SPEAKER_00: I would reward a lot at that point, right?
- 4:57SPEAKER_00: And then perhaps place two different surfaces next to each other so our puppy learns, oh, the ground can feel different and I'm still okay.
- 5:03SPEAKER_00: Now, some puppies, you guys don't need this level of care.
- 5:06SPEAKER_00: They're just going to walk on whatever they want to walk on and they're totally fine.
- 5:09SPEAKER_00: But some of you may have a puppy that is a little more cautious, and this is for you.
- 5:14SPEAKER_00: So you can even make a little puppy obstacle course using safe household items, maybe a yoga mat, a box, a towel, maybe carpet between, like have two chairs sitting on your carpet.
- 5:26SPEAKER_00: Um, a dog bed is going to feel differently.
- 5:29SPEAKER_00: I have different dog beds.
- 5:30SPEAKER_00: I have some that are fabric and some that are more um like a leather feel, some are more of a plastic feel, right?
- 5:38SPEAKER_00: So you could use all of those different surfaces and make a little obstacle course, if you will, for your puppy.
- 5:43SPEAKER_00: Now we're simply giving them opportunities to experience changes under their feet.
- 5:48SPEAKER_00: And this is especially useful because sometimes puppies aren't afraid of the object itself.
- 5:52SPEAKER_00: They're actually unsure because the surface feels different.
- 5:56SPEAKER_00: Okay, next let's talk about sounds.
- 5:58SPEAKER_00: This is a big one.
- 5:59SPEAKER_00: Our puppies are going to hear a lot of sounds that they didn't hear in their breeder's home.
- 6:04SPEAKER_00: Now, every home is different.
- 6:06SPEAKER_00: So your puppy's going to experience different sounds based on where they were and where they currently are.
- 6:11SPEAKER_00: If you, you know, if your puppy was raised in a pretty quiet home without kids running around and it's very calm and structured, right?
- 6:19SPEAKER_00: That's different than if you bring them home to your house and suddenly there's a two-year-old running around, or there's, you know, kids are fighting or yelling or playing or laughing, or maybe you moved, you know, the puppy was in a rural area and now you live in a very busy city.
- 6:33SPEAKER_00: So they're hearing traffic and sirens and construction and garbage trucks and all of those things.
- 6:38SPEAKER_00: So recognize that environment is going to um change the sounds that your puppy knows.
- 6:44SPEAKER_00: And then we might have some work to do on new sounds that they're currently hearing.
- 6:49SPEAKER_00: So sound is different from an object because your puppy may not even know where the sound is coming from.
- 6:54SPEAKER_00: So we're going to use, again, that confidence ladder here too.
- 6:57SPEAKER_00: We're going to start with a sound at a very low intensity.
- 6:59SPEAKER_00: YouTube is great for this, you guys.
- 7:01SPEAKER_00: People have made playlists of city sounds and thunderstorms and fireworks and dogs barking and all the things that you can imagine or need.
- 7:09SPEAKER_00: You can go find that sound.
- 7:10SPEAKER_00: And I love using my phone to play that or a computer to play that because I can control the volume and I can control distance.
- 7:18SPEAKER_00: I can be playing with my puppy in the other room while the sound is happening in the different room on a low volume level.
- 7:25SPEAKER_00: That way I can play with my puppy and keep them, you know, pay attention to their body language and see how they're handling it.
- 7:30SPEAKER_00: And we can up the volume as my puppy becomes more confident.
- 7:34SPEAKER_00: So we want to teach our puppy that sound predicts something good.
- 7:38SPEAKER_00: As we increase the volume and our puppy can handle that, then we can just play with them and reward them for paying attention to us and ignoring the sound.
- 7:45SPEAKER_00: Remember, you guys, exposure is not the same as flooding.
- 7:48SPEAKER_00: We don't want to overwhelm a puppy with a scary sound and simply just wait for them to get used to it.
- 7:53SPEAKER_00: We want instead controlled, positive experiences where our puppy remains able to think, eat, explore, engage, right?
- 8:01SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's talk about strangers.
- 8:04SPEAKER_00: Bella has a fear of strangers, and we have worked on this and worked on this and worked on this, and she's getting a lot better.
- 8:10SPEAKER_00: Will it ever completely go away?
- 8:12SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
- 8:12SPEAKER_00: I think she's always just gonna be the type of personality that's like, if I don't know you, I'd just rather not be touched by you, but we can be close.
- 8:20SPEAKER_00: We can be in the same location.
- 8:22SPEAKER_00: I just don't want you to reach out to me.
- 8:24SPEAKER_00: Now, you're you might have a super friendly puppy who runs up and jumps on everybody and is so excited to see people.
- 8:30SPEAKER_00: And then you might have a puppy who's more like Bella who's like, you know what, I don't know you.
- 8:34SPEAKER_00: So let me just take a minute to see if I feel safe around you.
- 8:37SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
- 8:38SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that our puppy has to be, if we talk about, you know, being friendly with someone, it doesn't mean our puppy has to just love everybody in the world without hesitation.
- 8:47SPEAKER_00: But we do want our dog to feel comfortable being amongst people, around people, and not feeling threatened, right?
- 8:54SPEAKER_00: That's confidence.
- 8:56SPEAKER_00: So people exist without needing to interact with me.
- 8:59SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
- 9:00SPEAKER_00: So we want to just start by letting our puppy observe people.
- 9:04SPEAKER_00: Maybe I sit somewhere quietly, a person walks past, our puppy looks at the person.
- 9:08SPEAKER_00: I'm going to pay my puppy for looking at that person.
- 9:10SPEAKER_00: Maybe someone stops several feet away, my puppy's noticing that, pay them for noticing.
- 9:15SPEAKER_00: Maybe toss my puppy a treat.
- 9:17SPEAKER_00: I like to toss that food reward away so that they get a chance to turn around and see the person again.
- 9:21SPEAKER_00: And then I can toss that food reward away so that they keep getting those repeated successes.
- 9:26SPEAKER_00: And eventually our puppy can approach a friendly stranger if they choose.
- 9:30SPEAKER_00: So let, you know, the person know my puppy doesn't love being touched.
- 9:34SPEAKER_00: They're a little nervous around new people.
- 9:35SPEAKER_00: So can you just pretend like they're not there?
- 9:37SPEAKER_00: And the puppies often do better because there's not a threatening person that's looking at them, trying to pick them up, or talking in a really high-pitched, excited voice at them, right?
- 9:45SPEAKER_00: So here's something I really want you to try to remember a puppy doesn't have to be touched by everyone.
- 9:50SPEAKER_00: In fact, be your puppy's advocate.
- 9:52SPEAKER_00: So when we're out on a walk, often this will happen.
- 9:54SPEAKER_00: My dogs are really cute.
- 9:55SPEAKER_00: People see them at the park and they're like, oh, we love your dogs.
- 9:57SPEAKER_00: Can we pet them?
- 9:58SPEAKER_00: Now, Baxter, he loves to be touched by people.
- 10:02SPEAKER_00: He's more like a cat.
- 10:03SPEAKER_00: He'll climb right up in your lap and he'll um love to just snuggle with you.
- 10:07SPEAKER_00: He doesn't mind touched by anybody.
- 10:09SPEAKER_00: He's, you know, nobody's a stranger to him.
- 10:11SPEAKER_00: But when people at people come up to us and ask us this, I have to say, okay, Baxter loves it.
- 10:15SPEAKER_00: You're welcome to greet Baxter.
- 10:17SPEAKER_00: Bella right here, she gets a little nervous about strangers, so she's just gonna want to kind of smell you, but don't touch her.
- 10:22SPEAKER_00: And people are really nice about it and they get it.
- 10:24SPEAKER_00: So Baxter goes right over to them.
- 10:26SPEAKER_00: They get to love on Baxter, and Bella just watches from a distance, and sometimes she chooses to go up to them, and sometimes she chooses not to.
- 10:33SPEAKER_00: And we just respect that.
- 10:34SPEAKER_00: So it's important that you recognize that about your dog.
- 10:37SPEAKER_00: And she's friendly, like she doesn't bark or growl at them, and she doesn't try to hide.
- 10:42SPEAKER_00: She just is like, Yeah, I'd rather you not touch me.
- 10:44SPEAKER_00: And we have learned that.
- 10:45SPEAKER_00: So I advocate for her.
- 10:47SPEAKER_00: And, you know, maybe she'll eventually want that, but I doubt it.
- 10:50SPEAKER_00: She's just happy to be with people, but she just doesn't want them to touch her, and that's okay.
- 10:54SPEAKER_00: So we want our puppy to learn that people are predictable.
- 10:57SPEAKER_00: I don't have to greet everyone.
- 10:58SPEAKER_00: I have choices.
- 10:59SPEAKER_00: I can choose to stay away and from a safe distance, and they're not gonna rush up to me and threaten me.
- 11:04SPEAKER_00: It's really important that we teach our puppies that, you know, we have their backs.
- 11:09SPEAKER_00: Okay, obstacles.
- 11:10SPEAKER_00: The next rung is obstacles.
- 11:12SPEAKER_00: This is where we can get creative.
- 11:14SPEAKER_00: Our puppy might walk around our living room every day, but that doesn't mean that they know how to navigate something new or a new environment, if you will.
- 11:21SPEAKER_00: So we want to create simple, safe obstacles, walking around a chair, under a table, between two boxes, over a broomstick, like just random things you can set up, like a cone.
- 11:31SPEAKER_00: If you have soccer cones, maybe your kids play soccer, set up some cones in the backyard.
- 11:35SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have um, I like to get like a big, oh, what do you call it?
- 11:40SPEAKER_00: It's like a toddler swing, things that kind of move but that they and wiggle, but the dog can kind of there's a wobble board, actually.
- 11:47SPEAKER_00: That's the name of it I was trying to think of.
- 11:48SPEAKER_00: Um, some unstable surfaces that they can kind of explore and put their feet on and it moves a little bit underneath of them.
- 11:54SPEAKER_00: That's good.
- 11:56SPEAKER_00: Just anything that's gonna challenge them a little bit.
- 11:59SPEAKER_00: And we want our puppy thinking, hmm, how do I get over this?
- 12:02SPEAKER_00: Or how can I go around, or can I go through, or what happens if I put one paw here?
- 12:06SPEAKER_00: And that problem-solving experience just transfers into other situations.
- 12:11SPEAKER_00: So a puppy who has learned I can figure this out is much more likely to approach an unfamiliar situation with curiosity.
- 12:19SPEAKER_00: And again, we want to reward that and we want to keep it easy enough that our puppy can succeed because we want a lot of I did it experiences.
- 12:29SPEAKER_00: All right, now we're getting to one of my favorite parts of confidence building, recovery.
- 12:33SPEAKER_00: Because something unexpected will happen.
- 12:34SPEAKER_00: No matter how carefully you socialize your puppy, there's going to be surprises.
- 12:38SPEAKER_00: A pan's going to fall, a door's going to slam, a truck's going to backfire, they're going to trip over something.
- 12:44SPEAKER_00: You get the idea.
- 12:45SPEAKER_00: So instead of trying to create a puppy who is never startled, let's just teach them what to do after they startle.
- 12:51SPEAKER_00: That's called recovery.
- 12:52SPEAKER_00: So here's a simple exercise.
- 12:53SPEAKER_00: You're walking with your puppy, something makes a small, unexpected noise, and your puppy kind of startles.
- 12:58SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to panic.
- 12:59SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to drag them toward the scary thing.
- 13:01SPEAKER_00: That's the last thing I want you to do.
- 13:03SPEAKER_00: I want you to create some space.
- 13:04SPEAKER_00: I want you to let them look at it, then use something familiar.
- 13:08SPEAKER_00: Maybe you say their name and they look at you, pay them.
- 13:10SPEAKER_00: Maybe you play a little hand target game, like a touch.
- 13:13SPEAKER_00: When they come and touch your hand, pay them.
- 13:15SPEAKER_00: Maybe you scatter a few food rewards on the floor.
- 13:18SPEAKER_00: Let them sniff and gather that up.
- 13:20SPEAKER_00: Sniffing can help bring your puppy back into a calmer state naturally.
- 13:23SPEAKER_00: And then continue walking when they're ready.
- 13:25SPEAKER_00: You're teaching, something surprising happened, but hey, I'm okay.
- 13:28SPEAKER_00: Another great recovery exercise is simply just changing direction.
- 13:32SPEAKER_00: So if we're walking one way, we let's just pause, turn around, and walk the other way and reward our puppy for turning and following us.
- 13:38SPEAKER_00: This creates a familiar behavior pattern.
- 13:40SPEAKER_00: They they learn, I can just walk away.
- 13:43SPEAKER_00: We can also practice moving between environments.
- 13:45SPEAKER_00: So inside to outside, outside to inside, one room to the kitchen, right?
- 13:50SPEAKER_00: Back and forth, a quiet yard to maybe a busier sidewalk, or a new location back to a familiar location.
- 13:57SPEAKER_00: And the puppy learns that environments change, but they can adjust and it's okay.
- 14:02SPEAKER_00: Okay, so altogether, if we were to sum all of this up for almost any new experience, I want you to think step one, notice.
- 14:09SPEAKER_00: Let your puppy see or hear the new thing, but don't immediately move closer.
- 14:13SPEAKER_00: Just notice.
- 14:14SPEAKER_00: Step two is I want you to investigate.
- 14:16SPEAKER_00: If your puppy wants to check it out, great, let them.
- 14:18SPEAKER_00: If they don't, let them walk away.
- 14:20SPEAKER_00: I want you to reward curiosity, looking, approaching, and sniffing.
- 14:24SPEAKER_00: Okay?
- 14:24SPEAKER_00: Anything they do that's great, reward them.
- 14:27SPEAKER_00: Recover.
- 14:28SPEAKER_00: If your puppy becomes startled or uncomfortable, uh help them return to a behavior they know and that's easy, like a look at you or a touch, a sit, sniff retreats, or just start walking the other way with you.
- 14:39SPEAKER_00: And then try again later.
- 14:41SPEAKER_00: Or just make a little note of it.
- 14:42SPEAKER_00: I've touched a lot of garbage cans in my days and patted them and talked to them to help my puppy see it's no big deal.
- 14:48SPEAKER_00: But we'll we can work on that another day.
- 14:50SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna take note.
- 14:51SPEAKER_00: Oh, my puppy's scared of the garbage can.
- 14:53SPEAKER_00: We need to work on it.
- 14:54SPEAKER_00: Okay.
- 14:54SPEAKER_00: And that's basically the confidence ladder.
- 14:57SPEAKER_00: Now, what if my puppy is scared?
- 14:58SPEAKER_00: This is an important question.
- 14:59SPEAKER_00: If your puppy's already nervous, I don't want you to think, I need to expose them to more things.
- 15:03SPEAKER_00: Instead, I want you to think, I need to find a place on that ladder where my puppy can succeed, where they can find some successes, some wins so that they want to keep trying.
- 15:12SPEAKER_00: And we're going to make that really simple, something really easy for them, show them that they can win, that gains or builds confidence, helps them gain confidence.
- 15:20SPEAKER_00: And then we can move on to harder things.
- 15:23SPEAKER_00: All right, you guys, thanks for listening today.
- 15:24SPEAKER_00: I know that's kind of a lot.
- 15:25SPEAKER_00: This is a little bit of a longer episode, but maybe go back and listen to it a couple times until you have this routine in your mind so that you know what to do to help your dog become more confident when you notice that something, whether it's people, environmental sounds, you know, whatever it is that startles them, or maybe you notice that they're a little fearful of, that you can take note of that, create a little training plan around it, and help them move forward.
- 15:50SPEAKER_00: Happy training, you guys.
- 15:51SPEAKER_00: Have a great week.
- 15:52SPEAKER_00: I'll talk to you later.
- 15:53SPEAKER_00: Thanks for tuning in today.
- 15:55SPEAKER_00: If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe so you never miss a training tip.
- 15:59SPEAKER_00: And if you're enjoying the show, leaving a quick review really helps other handlers find us.
- 16:03SPEAKER_00: For more training resources, tips, and support, visit me, Amy Jensen, at baxterambella.com.
- 16:08SPEAKER_00: Until next time, happy training.