Latest / Billy The Kidd In The Morning / New Dirty Little Secret:“The Life I Chose vs. The Life I Am”

Transcript

New Dirty Little Secret:“The Life I Chose vs. The Life I Am” · Billy The Kidd In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is Dirty Little Secrets.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Secret mixed one or two point nine. I'm Bailly, a
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: kid candy slow Pez producer, poo with a chance. These
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Bruno Mars tickets sold out floor seats were Romantic Night
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: with Bruno. All Right, just imagine dinner. You know, you
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: get a hotel going to Global Life for this show.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be a good night, good look, little mini getaway,
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: like a staycation. I'm also these are sold out floor seats,
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: so shot to win that coming up next Dirty Little Secret.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: If you have one bringing and you do.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, I've actually never I've never said this out loud before.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Better with me, take your time.
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: I'm married. I've been married a long long time.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: I have kids that are, you know, almost out of
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: the house, and you know, from the outside, I'm sure
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: it looks like I did everything right my husband and
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: dad and everything's steady.
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: Uh.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: But what nobody knows it's not my wife, wife, my kids,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: is that when the last kid moves out, I planned
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: on leaving.
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: Ohe oh man, what do you mean?
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's not like a midlife crisis or
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: an affair or anything.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: But I don't really want to like live this way anymore?
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Well, what what what's going on when you say that?
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: What do you mean you don't want to live? What way?
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: I've just I just felt like kind of this way
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: since I was young, Like like I've been sort of
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: in the wrong life, like playing a role. I sort
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: of learned how to perform really well, and I kind
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: of pushed it down for years and told myself of
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: a past and you know, just like oh, this is
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: what life is supposed to look like, but it never
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: really went away.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: What life do you mean?
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: I mean, I want to start a life as a woman.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, right, I didn't see that.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know why. I didn't know where it was going.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: So I you have felt this way for a long time,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: that you're what like trapped in the wrong body essentially?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, really, what I mean? What happens now?
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, because I can't imagine this feeling's got to
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: be confusing, emotional.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Right, you have a family, but I'm kind of preparing
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: sort of quietly. I've been like putting money in a
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: separate account for procedures. Oh wow, things I don't really
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: want to get into, but like things that would finally
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: let me live as who I actually am.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: You've been putting money into a separate account, as your
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: wife said anything about that?
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: No, she hasn't.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: She hasn't, Okay, does she know that there's a separate account?
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: No? I mean I feel bad though, like windsiding my wife. Yeah, yeah,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's no good way to drop something like this.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: There's no like version of this where nobody gets hurt.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Right, Well, have you thought about not doing it? Are
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: you totally this is what's gonna happen? Are you convinced?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Because I mean, I know I don't know how long
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: you have and I know you told me off there
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: you don't want to get into details because your kids
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: and one on that's totally fair.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: But have you is this a for sure decision? Have
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: you talked to somebody about it?
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Is there someone you could talk about just to make
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: sure you're making the right decisions, you know, like professional help.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: I mean, I've already waited and made sure my kids
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: are okay and that they're set up, and I've kind
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: of yeah, I've I've gone through all the steps in
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: my head and I know it's I can't really do
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: this for the rest of my life, so I you know,
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: I have to do this for myself, right, well, and
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: I know it's going to like shock everyone, and if
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: you knew me, you'd never guess. But that's kind of
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: the part that makes it like harder that been like
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: just hiding it for so long.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I was going to ask you that if they, like
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: you think, does anybody have an idea that this might happen,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: because you know, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: you might see some things coming. Sometimes you're just blindsided,
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: and you think everybody's going to be blindsided by this
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: and have no idea.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's going to be a complete shot to everyone.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: And I've been talking to a therapist and trying to
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: figure out how to handle it, but it doesn't I
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: don't know. I don't even know if it's possible to
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: not destroy my family.
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like everyone's going to need to
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: talk to your therapist together.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: That would be my take. Yeah, I don't listen. Yeah,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know experience with this.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have no experience with I have no idea
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: what to tell you. I will say I feel for
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: everyone in this situation.
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: Though, right, And if you're putting money aside that belongs
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: to your wife and your family to make this happen
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: for you Eventually, I can see where that, you know,
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: could really upset her on top of.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Sure all of this, Yeah, that's going to be a problem,
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: especially if you know, divorce happens and whatnot.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: But whatever, whatever.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: You do, and if you do this, I would absolutely
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: encourage you to talk to I'm glad you're talking to
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: a therapist. I talked to multiple therapists and ask them, Hey,
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: if I'm doing this, best way to do it without
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: emotionally destroying my kids and my family? I don't know
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: if there's a way to do that, but yeah, definitely
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: consider their feelings. I'm not saying you haven't, but definitely
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: think about the kids.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and older, I get the less I
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: care about what other people think. But you know, if
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: my kids are out of the house, I don't know.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I think that that'll be my opportunity. Well, that just
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: feels good to say it.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: This is a non judgment zone. Let us know what
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: you end up doing, and good luck with everything. I
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: wish you the best. I really do. I don't want
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: anybody to be miserable in their life. Right at the
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: same time, it's hard not to feel for everybody who's
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: about to get their world rocked.
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but people have gone through this before.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: Also, maybe you want to involve some type of support
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: group from others maybe who have gone through this, or
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: get some advice, because I mean, a therapist can say
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: you know what they know as far as therapy goes,
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: but someone who's actually lived it.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would do as much research as you can.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but hey, good luck and keep us up to
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: data on what's going on.
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay, thank you