Latest / Relatables / DILEMMAS: ARCHIVES 2

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DILEMMAS: ARCHIVES 2 · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables. Sorry, Battie too, Like you're not
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: even entertaining these men. You can't get away from it.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, men are crazy, like girls won't even entertained it.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: For somehow, they're still involved, like what.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Relatable?
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Joke. The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Whaty Clark
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: ak My May and my partner in crime, mister Jake
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Craig aka Daddy Dad There. Sorry, I felt like that
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: came across as really controlling. Nah, I'm good, baddies, We're
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: back with another Dilemma's episode. We have the prompt Jake Archives, Archives,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: archival energy. As some baddies may know, some might not know.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: We have a document that will be linked in the
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: description three five hundred dilemmas, and we can't get to
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: all of them on the main episode, so we go
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: through it and try to help you bad He's out.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Let's not waste any time, Jake, Yeah, you go first.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: This is actually relatively new. Four years later meeting it.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: This is the title, by the way.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: By the way, it's like a cut of a confusing title.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Four years later, meeting a guy, I get a message
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: from the wife dot dot dot.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Four years later meeting the guy, I get a mind
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: message from the wife.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's see what happens there, right, Hey, boys love
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: the pod and the fresh male energy. In twenty twenty one,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I was working in hospo. The guy hit on me
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: a prox ten years older. Okay, okay. He asked me
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: for lunch. I said, fuck it. You know, nothing came
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: from it, and that was that. Twenty twenty three, he
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: started dating someone. In twenty twenty three, I randomly got
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: a message from him and sussed his profile. No more
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: photos of them. Okay, so they've broken up. I was
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: trying to be polite. He asked how I was, and
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I said happy, single and living my best life. How
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: are you, et cetera. Convo was surface level. I asked
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: why he was reaching out, and he said he was
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: single again and just wanted to reach out. He said
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: it didn't work with that girl. I kept at surface level,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: said I was happy alone and not interested, and left
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: it at that. Yes, under five exchanges from me and
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: that's all. A few months after still twenty twenty three,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: it came up on Insta that he popped the question
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: to the X now back together obviously, okay, onwards, happy
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: living their life. And he has not reached out, and
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I have not thought able it. Okay, last night twenty
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: twenty five, all right. Two years later, last night twenty
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: twenty five, I got four calls from him on Insta.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I didn't answer and let them ring not my monkey,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: not my circus. Oh I like that, I like use that,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: she said. I assumed it was a butt dial. I
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: opened my message requests and now time and now his
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: wife has messaged me. Oh hi there, this is girl
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: boy's wife. Could you please do me a favor and
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: tell me what was going on between YouTube tonight? I
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: saw I saw messages from you to him. Definitely, he
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: sent messages to YouTube, but he deleted his part of
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: the messages. When you two were meeting in restaurants and
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: messaging each other, I was two and a half to
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: three months pregnant. I haven't replied good and I haven't
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: accepted the request. But what the fuck do I do?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Nothing?
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Do I respond and clarify the above, or do I
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: leave it? Because again, not my monkey, not my circus. Also,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I have not reached out at all. I assumed they
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: broke up. And got back together. And he messaged me
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: in the middle of this pregnant say what by the maths?
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Maybe they got back together because she was preggy.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Again, not my monkey, not my circus. Here's the thing.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I liked it the first time, the second time was cool.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: The third time I'm over it. Yeah, and I don't
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: want to be involved. Just ill SOS help about it out?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Please ps take a shot of water every time I say,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: not my.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Monkey, not myself. Look what can be done? Not my monkey? Like,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: nothing can be done. I think this man has been
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: seeing this girl the whole time and there wasn't a break.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: He's a terribus terrible man.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: He was just keen for Yeah. Look, the answer is simple,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: just leave it. It's not in your life, it's not
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: your problem.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, you don't ever have to accept that message.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: As soon as that message is accepted, then you have
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: seen it and you're choosing to ignore it. And even
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: though you have seen it and you're choosing to ignore it,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: it's it doesn't seem like you've seen it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And like, I don't know, you could argue girl
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: code in a sense of like you've got to tell
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: the wife that he's a terrible man. But she already knows,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: like she's already done her investigation. She wants confirmation. How
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: sus can a man be of deleting the messages on
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: his site, Like that's just like shooting yourself in the foot.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Obviously he's a cheater. Yeah, it's hard.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I mean I understand the probably the conflict going on
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: in your head.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you feel like you should do the right thing,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: but also I think you need to do the right
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: thing by yourself. I would agree.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and like how about block him?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but blocking makes.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: You look I mean you've seen it. Yeah, it's ignore. Yeah,
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: do you follow him? Follow him?
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: No?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: No, no no no.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: So I just don't understand how like men are out
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: here with their loving wives who are two three months pregnant,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: fucking damning girls ten years younger than them, like fucking
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: grow up. Pissed me off? A Yeah, I just don't understand.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I don't understand. I've never understood that day, Like, don't
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: get a girl pregnant if you're gonna do that shit,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: see here, like.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Choosing to choosing to actively go and look for someone
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: to cheat with. Crazy, his hands down, the craziest mindset.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: To me, I can't even wrap my head like you're
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: thinking to yourself, I want to cheat on my girlfriend,
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: so I'm going to go.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: And look for it. To me, that's insane, like do yourself.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: A favor, Like you're clearly unhappy in the relationship, Well,
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: how about don't bring her down with you?
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Just break up. I think it's a self sabotage thing
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: in a sense of he would rather or he doesn't
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: have the emotional maturity or communication skills or decency to
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: have a conversation with said partner and say, hey, look,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: this isn't working and he would rather do something and
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: have some fun. That's all he knows how to do
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: to get the same solution. Here's the thing, right, people
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: that cheat, I assume. Right.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, so let's say someone's cheating because it's a self
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: sabotage thing, and they want to do the cheating because
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: for some reason they find that easier than the confronting
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: conversation of the breakup. Yeah, okay, what about the confronting
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: conversation of the cheating?
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Like what? But yeah, I don't know. I think the
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: person who's doing the cheating doesn't think that many steps
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: ahead and The cheating is nice, so I'll figure it
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: out later. It kind of forces the conversation though, that's
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: what's easy. So like he doesn't know how to start.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: The cheater doesn't know how to start the conversation in
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: a sense. But if he cheats, the conversations that he
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: started and he just can stick grovel. Yeah, Like, oh
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: my god, I love doing so much, just one pie.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I swear seriously sorry about it too. Like you're not
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: even entertaining these men. You can't get away from it.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, men are crazy, Like girls won't even entertain it
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: for some hare they're still involved.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: What the alrighty my dilemma, no title. I'm a psych nurse.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I've been at the same unit for five years. The
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: workplace is toxic. I'm burnt out too much workplace politics,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: violence and understaff, underpaid, under resource, undersupported, undervalued, and no
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: job satisfaction.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: You know what should do in there? Just like can
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: make it funny underfucked.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I'm the youngest one there by about twenty years, and
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I have people in their mid sixties and fifties bullying me,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: making rumors and having beef with me because I refuse
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: to do the practice. They did and learn thirty years
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: ago and not the current policy. But I'm on minimum wage,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: single in brackets and single income and now have a mortgage,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: and there's really not that many other jobs in the
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: rural area for registered nurses. So for twenty twenty six,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: do I just say fuck it and just raised quit
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: and do some five fir slash travel nursing. Or should
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: I just stick it out with it and hope it
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: figures itself out and just focus on savings even though
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: they're barely enough. Or do I just properly resign? Please
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: help this twenty seven year old teenager out who loves
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: what she does for work but hates her workplace.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Twenty seven year old teenager hilarious, relatable.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Nah, I would say the mortgage thing is like lockdown,
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: locked you in breadth. You're locked in and you said rural.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: But it's hard though, because like you get a mortgage
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: because you're like I love being a nurse, and then
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: everyone there sucks. But I guess that's I don't know
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: the mortgage thing.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I assume you can't really rent something out too easy
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: in a rural area and like just maybe.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: No, But to be fair, there's probably a lot of
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: nurses in the same position. My brother actually was a
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: psych nurse, yeah, to be relatable, and he went to
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: fuck somewhere really.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Real, didn't he go to like broken Hell, Broken Hill yet?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Brokenhill with his partner and he did. He was
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: in between psych nursing and do some stuff online. But
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: exact same scenario. But a lot of those houses are
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: rented out to other people doing the same thing, pursing
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: in people within that industry, so you might be able
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: to rent it out to be fair, you don't get
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: that much though. You know what, though, I like the
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: idea of like, why don't try this five FO thing? Yeah,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: like five you're probably gonna make Why yould minimum wage
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: as a nurse? Is that minimum wage?
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: I just get fucked over.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's annoying. So I reckon, I reckon, press the
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: refresh button. Either do a travel year or a five
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: FO year, rent it out at the bare minimum you
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: can do, and then after a year come back and
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: be like, do I want to give this another shot
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: or not? And I don't know. Maybe it's coming back
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: down to you know what you want with work. But
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: a little bit of soul searching always goes a long way.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: Fu.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the five FO thing sucks it out.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah not, and like it's good too, because if it sucks,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: you come back and you appreciate even though this is
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: really fucking shitting annoying, you might appreciate it a little
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: bit more and then otherwise you might be like, Wow,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: there's so much more to life than these old people
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: telling me what to do and they don't know what
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: they're doing, which is probably what's gonna happen.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I've just had a thought, so I saw I think.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I think that I'm about to solve a pretty major
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: issue with you or bad, with just Australia in general,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: maybe maybe a lot of places in the world in general. Right,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: So there's always like it's always said that nurses, there's
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: we don't have enough, so we don't have enough nurses.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I saw this thing in Victoria to get more nurses.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: They were I think they may have been making the
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: schooling for it, like nearly free.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: That's what happened to my brother.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: So my my question is like, if you want more nurses,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: pay them more money.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Don't give them free school pay them more. So it's
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: an it like make it so people actually want to
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: do it. We had this debate the other day in
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: a sense of like not a debate, because a debate
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: man you're arguing or not a debate is like if
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: you and I debate each other, we just like it's
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: like a fancy word to argue. Okay, we had this
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: agreement the other day that we didn't understand how different
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: jobs hourly rate is valued differently, Like why is a
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: teacher different to a nurse, or like I can understand
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: on the major scheme of things if you're like working
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: in retail shop and then you're a brain searcher, but
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: all this stuff that's on you that I understand too. Yeah,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: but then all this stuff that's in the middle ground,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: and then some people are getting real estate agents what
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: the fuck are they doing? And then a nurse is
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: way more important? Is getting bare minimum.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Being a real estate agent? Yeah, I'm not even gonna lie.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure it's like a one week course.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't understand that. It's always annoyed me, especially
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: for like teachers nurses. What else is there there's another
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: one that's like really important that everyone needs and they're
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: just underpaid and undervalued. Yeah, I just pay them more.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Your fuck, I don't know.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Heaps of nurses who have to work, not shift to
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: get like the money that's actually deserved to them, to
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: make the money that they've worked for. It's annoying. Yeah,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man, soul searching and it's not gonna
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: answer all your questions, but it's gonna be fun. Yeah,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: All right, this is a doozy and this is from Quiet.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: This is from two years ago, two years and so, baddie,
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: if you're still listening to the pod like on our
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: archives two years ago, two years ago. Well, and so
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: if you're still listening to the pod, bad he was
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: said twenty twenty three.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Sorry, we get there in the end.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I would love an update.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Should I go for the affair or stay with the
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: husband question mark?
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I've learned not the judge.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I have been together with my husband for about six
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: years and we are married for about four years. I've
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: heard enough. We have two little kids together. Enough.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: My husband is a way a lot.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: For work and I never ever doubted our relationship before
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: having kids. To be honest, I do not think he
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: is a good father. He also does not appreciate what
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I do for the children. I work and take care
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: of the kids. We are very different and at first
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: I thought it were yin and yang, but now I
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: think I want someone that is more suitable. And so
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: about a year ago, I started an affair with someone
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: at work. He was very honest and I know I
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: am not his first affair. He also has a family.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: We were friends at first and often joked how.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Well we suited together.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: It was just sex at first, but now I think
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: I am falling in love with him. I am pretty
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: sure he just wants the affair to continue, but nothing more.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: But on the other hand, it is not just sex
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: because we text a lot, and yes he often texts. First,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: we have had a lot of fun together in the
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: workplace and went on a couple of playdates with the
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: kids as well.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: What do I do borrow? What? I guess? Like, yeah,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: in the mindset of the cheaterh and like everything's bad,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: so like how could we get worse? And he had
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: to have a bit of escapism.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, true, I struggle to have sympathy for cheaters, but
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: then also sometimes I do, well they feel trapped.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and like in her mind, I'm not saying it's right,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: She's like, well, this dude's a piece of shit. Yeah,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: he's a dude who's not a piece of shit, and
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: I can have some fun. Yeah, what's the decision like
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: to be?
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I guess in this situation, if the person you're married
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: to makes you feel terrible, yeah, and then someone you
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: and then someone you work with makes you feel great,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Like you can see the appeal there, like not to
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: give it a benefit benefit of the doubt, but I
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: sometimes I think, like I use benefit of the doubt wrong.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: So when someone does something that is maybe wrong or
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: maybe right, I'm pretty sure that's when you're like, I'll
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: give them the benefit of the doubt. But if someone's
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: done something that's black and white wrong, I always say.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Benefit of the doubt. But I'm pretty sure I'm using
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: that wrong. I reckon moving into twenty twenty six, we
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: should research our sayings now the opposite, lean into a
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: more fuck.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: It Like I unconsciously do think, yeah, but okay, you
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: know what, something's going to fuck up somewhere.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: So it's like where my mind goes is do you
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: just say fuck it? I may as well be the
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: one to start the fucking up, because it's gonna happen anyway.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Tell the husband you want that you're having an affair,
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: and then tell the guy you're having an affair with
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: you want to be with him and see what he does.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I recon sense of make sure
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: the kids are unbeknownst to what's happening, and get a
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: civil and to the relationship with your husband so they're
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: not involved, and then go through those steps. Do you
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: best keep kids out of it?
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I have one thing that I really didn't like was
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: that you had taken your kids and his kids on playdates.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry that, like, so when it comes to betray
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: rail so right now I understand your reasoning, I do,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: and I actually sympathize with you. I do, but like
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: you are betraying your husband. There's no other way around it.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: I don't think you're like a bad person. I do
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: think you're making a mistake, and you've made a mistake.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: But I think when you like have taken the kids
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: on playdate with the guys kids bro and his wife's
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: at home is betrayal and like you.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Guys are on a date with your kids. Yeah. Yeah, Also,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: like we should say stop doing it and sort everything
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: out first.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Don't be in two years I have to have to
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: have to know.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Imagine they're like happily together and they've combined the kids.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: They're best things now.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Honestly, best case scenario.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, true, well, absolutely best case scenario in my opinion.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I really need to know. Please email us at Relatables
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: sixty nine at gmail dot com with the subject.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Line we're still together or no, no.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: No, the subject line A fair update.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, okay, yeah, thank you? Okay. Title where do
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: you limit separating logic in emotion? Spock line or something?
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Where do you limit separate? Okay, spock line.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: It's been amazing, wonderful, beautiful, etc. Going into dating him,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: I promised myself much before I met him that I
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: would take dating more seriously. Before that, I was kind
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: of in a hose slash independent phase. When I realized
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: we clicked, it was wonderful and I thought to myself,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I see a future with this man. Recently, we were
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: talking about the future and things, and he said he
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: sees a future with me. But understandably, he also said
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: the future to him means the more immediate future, like
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: the next five years. He said he can't even picture
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: himself in ten years, let alone us in ten years,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: which is valid coming from a twenty four year old.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I think the same thing to an extent. But I
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: also can see us ending up together as life partners.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: For me, it's kind of like, you never know. My
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: dilemma is am I being too logical? We've grown up
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: thinking about the one and when you know, you know,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: And in the initial dating phase, I knew we were
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: going to end up together in a serious way. But
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know how the future will unfold. But you
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: hear and see all things, like they know they were
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: going to get married the moment they met. I guess
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say is should I expect a
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: statement like that from my boyfriend? Of course, it's beautiful
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: to hear something like that, but it's kind of illogical
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: for both of us if you don't know what's going
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: to happen down the road.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I mean yeah, I think yeah. You get to a
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: point where it's like, are you just thinking about it
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: too logically? Like even if you don't see yourself so like,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: what do you mean you don't even see yourself in
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: ten years? Like are you going to be dead?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I feel. I feel like that's a little bit
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: crude in a sense of like crude crude means like what,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know what crude?
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Crude?
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: You don't know, Yeah, it came to me, you know,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: when one of those words come come to you when
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: you're looking for another one. Crude crude means like giving
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: an answer. Although if you could go in definition and
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: give me a second, yeah, look up.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: What does crude mean?
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Though?
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: M tell me tell oh, no, no, no, you know what.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: Tell me, Tell me how you're using it, because I
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: don't have an answer yet.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm using in a sense of crude. So
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: him saying I don't see past five years is shallow
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: in a sense of like I get our jail free
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: card crude.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Okay. So there's a couple of meanings. Number one means
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: like crude oil or crude materials means like an untouched
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: state of something. On that one, here we go lacking refinement.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: That's kind of what I meant.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: The drawing was crude, not detailed, not polished, or a
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: crude estimate, a rough guess, not very accurate.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: There we go. That's what I meant.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: That's pretty much my one and then another one is
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: rude or inappropriate. Yeah, so I me in the middle one,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: so I would like say, well done. Yeah it's a
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: crude statement.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I really think it is, because like, future to
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: me means if you see us together for five years,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I see it together forever. Here's the thing, is what
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: it's like? What me I say?
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: He's like, so, yes, I see a future with you,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: but you know which is more of a five year
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: thing for me? I don't even know where I'm going
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: to be in ten years. That's personally to me insane
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: that that. But like what it means to me is
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: like do you want to be with someone that doesn't
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: you know?
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Like I don't even know what I'm trying to say.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: What I'm I think what I'm trying to get at
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: is that what the fuck does he mean? I think
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: what the baddie is tossing up is so she said,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Am I being too logical? And almost? Is it too
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: much to ask for? When you know, you know, the
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: moment you met, you knew you were going to be
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: together forever? All that movie type shit? And I think no,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I think you deserve that. I think every single person
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: deserves that. And the fact that he's not giving you
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: an answer to me, means he's a little boy.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, look, when you first meet someone, I think
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: it's you know, you can't go on one date with
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: someone and say some people might think they're going to
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: be with that person forever. Some people might say, well,
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: how am I fucking I supposed to I don't know
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: them yet. I think those are both valid answers. Right,
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: But how long have they been together?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: A year?
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: You guys have been together for a year, right, I
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: just am not too sure, So there's got to be
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: a timeframe. But I, in my opinion, if you've been
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: with someone for a full year, I think that's long
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: enough to know whether or not you want to be
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: with them for your whole life. Now you can be
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: with them for a year and believe you want to
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: be with them for your whole life, and then in
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: another year you might break up. Yes, but I don't
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: really think you should be with someone if after a
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: year you're like, I don't actually know where I'm going
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: to be in ten years, so I don't know if
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: you're going to be there.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Well, I think that's where the problem lies, in a
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: sense of people are dating with the wrong intentions. So
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: a lot of people date just to date. Yeah, where
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: I think you should never ask someone to be your
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: girlfriend or boyfriend if you don't see the what's it
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: called when there's no ending, if you don't see the
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: full future with them. Yeah, Like I've always I've never
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: dated someone. I didn't think I was going to marry.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: In quotes, you know, you.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Date people, Yeah, you see yourself being with them forever
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: and then yes, things can happen where it ends.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but this guy, this guy's just dating and men
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: like yeah, look five years, I could probably see it's
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: together still, Like, I don't really think that far ahead. No,
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: you should have in your mind. I think in my mind,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like marriage, two kids, white picket fence. Yeah, I
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: want to picture. You're not going to make someone you
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: will not make.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: You're not gonna ask someone to be your girlfriend otherwise exactly.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: But I think a lot of people, especially in this day,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: and it's just date to have sex constantly.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: So my answer would be you need a better answer
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: out of him, or I wouldn't waste my time. Yeah, agreed.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, that is that is the end of dilemmas for Spotify.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: But we have three more dilemmas to get to on Patreon,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: where it is five dollars a month. Okay, so if
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: you sign up before the end of the year, it
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: will be at five dollars a month, and you will
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: be at five dollars a month for the rest of
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: the time of your subscribing to relatable After the New Years,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: we are going to be putting it up a bit.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: The rest of your life because that's how far you
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: think into the future. Yes, exactly, because you guys think
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: into the future.