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[HOTL's Got Questions] Is Sex Before Marriage a Sin? · HOTLCAST

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Hoddle's Got Questions.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Kyle.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Matt.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Ryan.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: And we're here to answer hard questions for you.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: And today's hard question is what does the Bible say about sex before marriage?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Don't do it.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's not, it's not good.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is like this is an easy one.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: And like it's it's a top 20 question for people because everybody wants to do it and they don't want to listen to the Bible about it.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think it's what this really is.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you're listening to this and that's you, I'm sorry, but this is a clear one in scripture.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Some of the other ones, like, do are pets in heaven, those kind of things.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Those are you can bemuse and wonder and philosophize, but like this one's clear cut.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: We've got uh 1 Corinthians 6, Hebrews 13, Matthew 15, Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 5.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's tons of verses about sexual immorality, our sexual life outside of the bounds of what God has has ordained to be the proper way to have sex, which is within the bonds of a marriage that is performed and that God is part of.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so, I mean, that's the only way allowable for the Christian life is for sex, is in marriage.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's anything outside of that, sexual morality, pornography, sexual morality, any kind of cohabiting relationship that has sex as part of it, sexual morality, any kind of foreplay or sexual activity, sexual morality.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: So there really are no exceptions.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: Life, you know, in life, people try to make exceptions.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it I feel like TikTok, Instagram, everything on social media, Reddit, you name it, everybody's trying to always make an argument against what scripture clearly says.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, if you look at this crazy obscure Greek uh, you know, writing, they they they said this.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's really clear.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: This is like a slam dunk clear one.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: But what do you think, Matt?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I actually go back to something you had said, gosh, probably 15 years ago during a sermon at Grace Chapel where you were talking through what you know sex should look like in marriage.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: And you said something to the effect of the things that you're doing with your spouse, as long as it's consensual and it's nothing involving other people, either digital images of other people, you know, pictures of other people, or another person physically, those things are permissible.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: But if you start including that other stuff, that's when it becomes a problem.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's truly the easiest way to break it down is if you're married, there's lots of things that are open and available to you.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if you aren't, that door is to be completely shut.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's not really an in-between area.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I mean, when when I think about, you know, when I think about sex before marriage, when I think about what the Bible says about that and how I understand it, you know, I I think it does feel pretty clear cut.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think for me the important part is like, why?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like what is the what is the big push?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why is this so important?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of it, I mean, because we know that every time we have sex or have sexual engagement with with people, like we give a part of ourselves away, right?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and so, and and if you're doing it out of marriage, well, now you're now you're giving a part of ourselves away in a sinful sort of way.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's kind of like a like a double bat, I guess.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And and I and I think that you know, even just understanding that from a young perspective, you know, I think and and you know, when I look at this and I think I I think most people could get it for young people.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: What about well, how do you how how do you rationalize that with like, I mean, I know the Bible says it, just thinking about like older people, you know, like maybe like like a couple older people that have that have been married, maybe they lost their spouse, maybe they got divorced, and you know how do how does how does that look and and is there like any kind of exception for that, you know?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't think there's any exception for sex outside of marriage.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: Scripture's pretty clear on it.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um there are situations that are tough, but that's just the reality of people's you know, lives, especially with like um spousal death benefits and pensions and kids and inheritances.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's crazy.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so some of the things we've been dealing with is how do we how do we keep marriage marriage and keep the government out of marriage in certain situations because a lot of it's legal, a lot of it's like inheritance issues, and so we've we've looked at through some different ways that we've tried to navigate those situations for people to help them still honor the Lord by having a religious marriage versus you know a legal marriage because a legal marriage binds you into all the different things.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the truth like marriage is ordained by God, governed by God, it's not governed by the government.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like the government kind of got involved because they can make money off of it by taxing us, and when it comes down to it, it belongs to the church.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so we've tried to have a lot of grace, try to work through those situations with people to to make sure that they can honor the Lord.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: The other stuff is left up to like how they want to handle some of those, you know, uh earthly legal things, but we needed to handle the eternal aspect of what marriage is uh and and sex is, and so there's a book of the Bible about sex.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the the Bible does not like hoo-boo sex, it's you know, it's actually you know, the Bible celebrates sex, the book of Song of Psalms is all about a sexual relationship within the bonds of marriage.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: Uh there's a beauty to it, but we focus too much on the recreation aspect of sex and as a culture, like sex was always about procreation.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: God's way to populate the world was have a man and a woman come together, have sex, make babies, procreate, make and that's how you populate the world.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's the purpose of why we have sex.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: It is enjoyable and fun because God made it so so that you'd want to do it, so you would procreate and have babies and populate his beautiful world.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so we as a culture focus all on the recreation, not necessarily the procreation part of it.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a purpose and intention behind why we have it.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: And being in a healthy, committed relationship, I mean, all the stats say if you're if you're married and in a healthy marriage, you're gonna live longer.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, your children are gonna have better upbrings, they're gonna be healthier mentally, physically, uh, they're gonna do better in education.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like the stats for a marriage, for the blessings and benefits of children in that marriage, uh, and and the the health and longevity of your life are just it's overwhelming how positive it is to be in a healthy relationship.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so we look back at God's plan and think, well, yeah, God had a good plan.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: He understood this.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: But when we look at all the damage and trauma that comes with sex outside of marriage in an unhealthy way with multiple different partners, and um, when you when you don't respect what God created, it does create chaos and it does create drama in people's lives, and so you have to be careful.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so those are some of the things we have to navigate as we we kind of talk about this.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, that's so true because not only is Ryan right with the idea that you're kind of giving a piece of yourself to somebody else, but you know, so many people look at sex as even just on first date stuff now, like the the numbers are insane.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're not gonna get into all of the details of some of the things that are happening, but the first date now versus the first date 30 years ago are completely different with the expectations and the things that people are anticipating and how that all plays out.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing that sex has become is it's become monetized for so many people.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even just mean in the way that some people would go with the world's oldest profession, I mean simply the idea of everything that you can use to sell.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: If you can use sex to sell it, you're gonna make more money.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's absolutely abysmal what it has turned into.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is supposed to be something that's beautiful, it's supposed to be something that's worship.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: I believe sex is a form of worship.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: So when we when we have someone who we're married to in a committed relationship before the Lord, that sex will act as worship.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like we are worshiping the Lord, we are in a covenant relationship with Him, we are doing what we are tasked to do, to enjoy that covenant, to procreate in that covenant, and and it's a beautiful thing.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so we when we do it outside of what the Bible says, we're basically, you know, we're blaspheming that beautiful thing.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: We're going against that, we're we're destroying something God created to be beautiful and wonderful.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so, um, yeah, I mean, we're not trying to poo-poo the idea of like people should enjoy sex, they should enjoy it with someone they're committed to before and underneath the bonds of marriage, but before the Lord.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, and I mean, you've said this many times before, whenever you've talked about this, that there are so many different ways that you can look at your relationship with your spouse and prioritize them and value them.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: And there's no better way to do that than whenever you're looking at your relationship and saying there doesn't need to be another person involved in this, there doesn't need to be, you know, images of other people involved in this, that all of those things are not going to be a part of what our relationship is.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's a respect issue, it's putting another person first, and it is saying that my commitment is to you and to you alone, and that's the person that I need to be committed to.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's a sacred covenant, and we need to keep it as such.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're in a place where you're not in that place and you need to talk about it, that's what the church is for.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's why we can help you through it.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like a lot of people have been there.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: But we got to get to the place where we all understand the importance of honoring God in the sexual part of our lives as well.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for listening.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: We'll catch you on the next episode of HODL's Got Questions