Latest / The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks / How To Use Bad Luck Without Pretending It Is Good
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: So you're going about your life and you notice that you get some kind of bad luck omen.
- 0:05SPEAKER_00: It could be a natural omen, like the weather man is telling you that it's going to be raining on the day that you've planned to go out.
- 0:13SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you get into your car and it starts to make a strange sound as if it's going to break down at some point.
- 0:20SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have bad luck twice and someone tells you bad luck comes in threes.
- 0:24SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've applied for a job and afterwards someone tells you that they know of a person who applied and they are very competent.
- 0:32SPEAKER_00: It could be something mundane, like you're exercising and you hear an ominous click in your knee, which makes you wonder if you have some kind of permanent injury.
- 0:42SPEAKER_00: And there are superstitious types of bad luck, like you break a mirror or you walk under a ladder.
- 0:48SPEAKER_00: It's not uncommon for us, even the rational among us, to get a sense that something's off.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: Like bad luck is just around the corner.
- 0:57SPEAKER_00: Things are about to get worse.
- 0:59SPEAKER_00: And my recommendation from you, and this comes from Epictetus, is to not be alarmed if you sense bad luck coming your way.
- 1:07SPEAKER_00: In fact, as soon as you feel any sort of worry come up, say to yourself, this sign has no significance for me.
- 1:17SPEAKER_00: This could only affect my body, possessions, family, or reputation.
- 1:22SPEAKER_00: But not me, not my will, not my soul, not my ability to judge, to decide.
- 1:30SPEAKER_00: Not my rational thinking capacity.
- 1:33SPEAKER_00: You've heard me talk in my lessons about the dichotomy of control, a central principle in Stoic philosophy.
- 1:39SPEAKER_00: There are some things that are up to you and some things that are not up to you.
- 1:42SPEAKER_00: Things that are not up to you will include your body, your possessions, your family, your reputation.
- 1:48SPEAKER_00: Things that are up to you is basically your intentions, some of your actions, your considered opinions, your judgments, internal things.
- 1:57SPEAKER_00: So what we're doing here is we're using bad luck omen, a sign from the universe, as a way to remember the dichotomy of control.
- 2:05SPEAKER_00: Oh, bad luck is coming.
- 2:07SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
- 2:08SPEAKER_00: This will not actually affect me.
- 2:11SPEAKER_00: It will affect, potentially, things outside of my control, but I will always have the ability to decide how I respond.
- 2:18SPEAKER_00: What you want to learn is the skill of turning everything to your advantage.
- 2:25SPEAKER_00: Why?
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: Because you can do that.
- 2:27SPEAKER_00: So why wouldn't you do that?
- 2:28SPEAKER_00: The classic Marcus Aurelius quote, what stands in the way becomes the way.
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: The impediment to action advances action, right?
- 2:35SPEAKER_00: It's like the obstacle is the way.
- 2:37SPEAKER_00: When you look around your room, you may think that you're seeing structures like tables and chairs and computers, and in my case, a microphone and a door, cupboards.
- 2:48SPEAKER_00: On the deepest level, what we're really seeing are tools and obstacles.
- 2:52SPEAKER_00: So when I'm looking at the door, what I'm really seeing is a portal.
- 2:56SPEAKER_00: When I look at a handle, what I really see is something to turn, to open that portal.
- 3:00SPEAKER_00: When I see a microphone, what I'm really seeing is a way to communicate with you.
- 3:04SPEAKER_00: And there are also obstacles that may be blocking or hindering my path.
- 3:07SPEAKER_00: The stoic approach is to see every obstacle as just another tool.
- 3:13SPEAKER_00: So the world becomes a series of tools.
- 3:15SPEAKER_00: Let's say that you want to walk from one place to another place, and in the way there is a hurdle.
- 3:20SPEAKER_00: You could walk up to that hurdle and say, Oh no, this sucks.
- 3:24SPEAKER_00: Right?
- 3:24SPEAKER_00: I have to now walk around the hurdle or get over the hurdle, and that's expending my energy.
- 3:30SPEAKER_00: And so you do that, and then you keep walking and get to where you want to walk.
- 3:34SPEAKER_00: Or you walk up to the hurdle, and maybe you have the attitude of a professional hurdle jumper, a person who actually spends their career jumping hurdles.
- 3:46SPEAKER_00: Oh, I guess I'm going to do a little bit of extra exercise right now.
- 3:51SPEAKER_00: I'm going to test my mobility.
- 3:53SPEAKER_00: You take the exact same journey, but one is full of resistance and suffering, and ultimately the irrational belief that obstacles have to induce suffering in you.
- 4:04SPEAKER_00: And the other perspective where you see the hurdle as a tool to exercise or to test your mobility, you are now more in control of your own life narrative by choosing that.
- 4:13SPEAKER_00: You're empowering yourself.
- 4:14SPEAKER_00: So when you see any kind of bad luck sign, say to yourself, For me, every sign is actually a good luck sign.
- 4:21SPEAKER_00: If I want it to be, why?
- 4:23SPEAKER_00: Because whatever happens, I can derive some benefit from it.
- 4:27SPEAKER_00: Tell me a situation in your life that you have not derived some benefit from.
- 4:34SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter what it is, loss, tragedy, pain, illness, there has been something gained.
- 4:41SPEAKER_00: Doesn't take away the fact that it might have been painful, difficult, traumatic.
- 4:46SPEAKER_00: But there's always something to be gained from it.
- 4:49SPEAKER_00: A lesson, an insight, a perspective, some kind of resource.
- 4:53SPEAKER_00: There's always something.
- 4:54SPEAKER_00: So this is the step-by-step system I want you to take with you.
- 4:57SPEAKER_00: You encounter a bad luck sign, supranatural or natural, and you say to yourself, This sign has no significance for me because it affects things outside of my control, external to me.
- 5:09SPEAKER_00: Instead, you say, This bad luck sign is actually a good luck sign because I want it to be.
- 5:16SPEAKER_00: Why?
- 5:17SPEAKER_00: Whatever happens, I can derive some benefit from it.
- 5:21SPEAKER_00: Then you look for the opportunity.
- 5:23SPEAKER_00: You ask yourself, how can this initial knee jerk reaction, bad luck sign, truly be when I investigate it a little bit more, a good luck sign?
- 5:33SPEAKER_00: How can I learn about myself, cultivate virtue, practice patience or discipline, etc.
- 5:39SPEAKER_00: Test it out.
- 5:39SPEAKER_00: When you encounter some disturbing thought about the future, tell yourself that this is actually good luck.
- 5:46SPEAKER_00: I'm glad this is happening to me.
- 5:48SPEAKER_00: See if it changes anything in your consciousness, your experience in your emotional life.
- 5:54SPEAKER_00: If you find that it doesn't help you, if you find that it makes things worse, just stop doing it.
- 5:59SPEAKER_00: There's nothing lost.
- 6:02SPEAKER_00: But what is more likely to happen is that you'll find some benefit or consolation in this practice.
- 6:06SPEAKER_00: When I was speaking to the stoicism writer Donald Roberts, I asked him, can anyone reframe things too much?
- 6:13SPEAKER_00: They go overboard with reframing?
- 6:15SPEAKER_00: And he said in his many, many years of psychotherapy practice and stoicism work, he's never seen any adverse effects from people who reframe too much, only positive.
- 6:28SPEAKER_00: So I take his opinion seriously because it's based upon evidence.
- 6:33SPEAKER_00: Appreciate you listening, and I hope you enjoy turning all bad luck into good luck.