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Natural Cat Tricks and The Poo Poo Canoe (Show 17) · Biscuit Breakdown

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's time for biscuit breakdown, where hockey is the only thing on the menu.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And welcome back, everybody, whoever you root for, wherever you live, whenever it is, it's time for biscuit breakdown.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Coming up on the show today, we've got the fresh out the oven segment for the latest league news.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: We've got a new segment called The Punny Recap.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: We've got AI Don't Think So, another new segment called the Outage Rankings, where I will discuss my thoughts on the five teams that are riding in the poo-poo canoe.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then lastly, the doggy bag predictions of the week.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not already, be sure to follow this podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to follow me on Instagram.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is Biscuit Breakdown.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Twitter is Biscuit Breakdown without the O, or Gmail is Biscuit Breakdown Pod at gmail.com.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear from all the hockey fans out there.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if you could be so kind as to leave a five-star rating and review if you're really enjoying the show, I would uh really appreciate that.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can also send this show to a hockey friend in need, a family member, a coworker, anyone that you think would enjoy this hockey content, and I would really appreciate that as well.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, it's time to get into the Fresh Out the Oven segment.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, the Fresh Out the Oven segment is here, and it's time to talk about the latest league news.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Some things that have happened since the last show.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: We have Dylan Larkin of the Detroit Red Wings.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um he is playing and playing pretty well despite asking for a trade.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then on the other hand, we have Connor Hellibuck, who is still currently suspended by the Winnipeg Jets after he asked for a trade.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And recently it was discussed how basically his teammates do not want him back on the team.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I totally understand that because he's basically saying that he's quitting on them by asking for a trade.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would be pissed too.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've played on some decent hockey teams and even men's league teams.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: If there was a person on my team that wanted to no longer be on my team, and then no other team was that quick to pick them up, and then they came back with their tail in between their legs, saying, like, oh, I I want to play again.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Can I be on the team?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um I would not want them back on the team.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would be annoyed and angry, like, no, you chose to walk away and try to look at the other side.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're you know, the grass is always greener situation.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I would not want that player back on my team.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I would be pissed.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And rightfully so, that's how the Winnipeg Jets feel, it seems, and I totally understand that.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you have not already seen the Miko Ranton self-allie oop um goal that he scored a couple weeks ago now, you need to go back and look at it because it was an absolute thing of beauty.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: He's on the Dallas Stars.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: He purposely flipped the puck up and over the defenseman, caught it on the other side, and then scored.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: So that is an absolute highlight real goal.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: We have Igor Shisterkin, the Rangers goalie.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was announced that he is out for the season with a lower body injury.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: That is a huge blow for the New York Rangers.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, ever since, though, their backup, I think his last name is Garand, has been playing well and keeping him in games, and they are currently 7-3-1, I believe, or 7-2-1.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So surprising star for the Rangers.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see if they can keep it up, though.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: My guess is no, because eventually the fact that they lost their number one goalie, that's gonna catch up to them.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um we have the Chicago Blackhawks coach Jeff Blashill saying, I don't know when we're gonna start winning games.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: It could be tomorrow, it could be next week.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a red flag to me.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: You should be trying to fire your guys up and not just be like, oh, I don't know when we're gonna start winning.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe we'll win tomorrow, maybe we'll win next week.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like you gotta put some urgency on that, even if your team is not expected to make the playoffs, like put some fire under their asses and make them want to go out and win the next game.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's just my opinion.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: We have Connor McDavid, who is absolutely white hot.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: He has twenty-three points in the Oilers' first eight games of the season.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um an unbelievable start.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: The guy is truly generational, amazing, whatever superlative you want to put, it is fitting for Connor McDavid.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see if he can keep up this crazy pace.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: He's currently on pace for over two hundred points on the season.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's only been done by one man, Wayne Gretzky.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Ever heard of him?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, the great one.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: We're witnessing a truly legendary player in the year twenty twenty-six, so everybody should just sit back and enjoy it.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously the Oilers are off to a great start this year, large in part due to Connor McDavid.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, we're gonna change it up here, and we are gonna move into the PUNY recap.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: This Punny recap is recapping the game between the Florida Panthers and the Columbus Blue Jackets on Tuesday, October 13th.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: It is meant to be silly and stupid and gimmicky and all the above, basically.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you are a fan of Pardon My Take, the famous Barstool um podcast that talks about mostly NFL, but also really all four major sports, as well as other pop culture topics and things like that, they do their fastest two minutes on Monday mornings of the NFL season, and they recap all the games by using puns, and it's one of their best segments, so I am basically stealing that idea, using that idea, to bring it to this show and try to make it fun and interesting, and they say the imitation is the best form of flattery, so here we go.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: On Tuesday, October 13th, the Panthers leaped into the nationwide arena to take on the Columbus Boo Jackets with their shiny new toy, Matthew Nyes.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: After Tent Johnson set up camp for Columbus by getting the scoring going early, it was Brady Bunch Kachuk saying, nice to be here as he stuffed in not one, not two, but three goals, all assisted by his brother, Matthew McConaughey Kachuk, who said, Alright, alright, alright, as his brother completed the natural hat trick to put the Panthers up 3-1.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Later in the period, Jimmy Carter Verhage continued to bring the economic downturn to the nationwide arena scoreboard with a power play goal of his own to make it 4-1.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: But the Panthers weren't done yet, as Sam Weinhart tipped one into the net only a minute into the third period, and the Boo Jackets were hearing the Boo Birds.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just two minutes later, Jimmy Carter Hagee took Columbus's hopes, hostage, with a rich shot to make it six to one.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: But wait, Columbus's Denton Mateychuk put a small dent in the Panther's lead as he buried a snapshot to make it sticks to two.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then shortly after that, Cold Train Stillinger makes a nice move at the blue line and charges down the tracks of the left wing to snap a shot past Panthers goalie, Akira Schmead.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: But less than four minutes later, the Cats shut the door as Sam Weinhart sends the Boo Jackets fans home upset and crying to their mommies.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: 7-3.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that does it for the Pony recap.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed that segment, feel free to let me know.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear your thoughts, opinions, and suggestions for that segment, as it is a new one, and it was quite fun to record and write, so I hope you enjoyed it.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna move on into our AI don't think so segment, where I challenge Gemini, and I take the opposite for whichever Gemini thinks will win the game.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So currently I am 0-1-1 against Gemini, so maybe Gemini knows something I don't, but I took the Ducks at home last Friday night, and they lost to the Bruins, and Gemini picked the Bruins, so Gemini got the true victory there.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: The first matchup was between the Rangers and Capitals, and that was the game that Schesterkin got hurt, so we called that one a push.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So right now the record is 0-1-1.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: I am gonna try to get my first victory here.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: The game I have chosen is the game on Friday, October 23rd, between the Tampa Bay Lightning, who are visiting the Colorado Avalanche.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now Gemini took the Avalanche, stating that they have the altitude as their home ice advantage, which is obviously true.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And they also play well at home, which is true.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: The second point that Gemini made was that they have elite star power with Nathan McKinnon and Kalakar, and many other great players in their core.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then their third point was the Avalanche excel at turning defensive stops into lightning fast counterattacks.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: The relentless pressure on five on five forces opponents into high turnover areas, giving them the advantage in controlling the overall flow and shot share of the game.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, to that I have to say, AI don't think so.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I am going to be riding with the Tampa Bay Lightning on Friday night, who are on the road against the Avalanche, and my reasons are Colorado will be just getting home from their own road trip, so they might be a little bit tired.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: My second reason is that the Lightning still have an elite core that can match the Avalanche.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of great players on both teams.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then my third point is that the Tampa Power Play, while it is struggling so far this year, it's only a matter of time before it really blows up and has a great night.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: So why not start on Friday night with the power play redeeming itself and bouncing back to its normal percentage amount that we've been accustomed to over these last five, six years with all their dynamic players on the power play?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: So Gemini is riding with the Avalanche and I'm riding with the Lightning.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you riding with?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear your thoughts.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Reach out on socials or on email.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, it's time to move into another new segment called the Outage Rankings.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: This segment will discuss the bottom feeders of the league, the bottom five.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, many hockey podcasts and hockey websites and things like that, hockey social media accounts, they will put out their power rankings, which ranks the top five teams or the top ten teams or all the teams.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am only going to focus on the bottom feeders, the bottom five.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I will discuss which teams are riding the poo poo canoe.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to call it the poo poo canoe because these teams are up Shits Creek and things are not going right.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe they can figure out a way to get off the canoe and find greener pastures.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: So from back to front in the poo poo canoe, we have the Chicago Blackhawks.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: They are number five on the list.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: They are in the back of the canoe.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Things are not going well.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: They're currently three and six on the season with a negative fifteen goal differential.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: They are three and two at home and oh and four on the road.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: They like that home cooking, but guess what?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta win games on the road if you're gonna be a decent team, obviously.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And right now they are having all sorts of road troubles.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: The number four spot goes to the Vancouver Canucks.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone that follows the NHL knows that the Canucks were gonna have a crappy season, but things are off to a specifically cruddy start as they are two, seven and one with a negative fifteen goal differential as well.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: They're one and two at home and one five and one on the road.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Just a mess everywhere.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Bring out the Cottonell because things are quite gross.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, number three goes to the Philadelphia Flyers, who have won their last two games, but before that they lost their first nine games of the year.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just a disgusting start to the year.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Negative 19 on the goal differential.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: They're 2-2-2 at home.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Things are all sorts of nasty for this team.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're not scoring.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: They're not getting enough goaltending, obviously.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: They cannot find the back of the net.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are doing that, it is a problem.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Number two goes to the Los Angeles Kings, the Old Kings.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: They've got a lot of older players on their team, and their age could be showing.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: They've only played six games so far this year for some reason.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: They are 0-4-2 with only two points and last place in the league.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Their goal differential is negative 13.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: They need to somehow, some way figure out how to score goals.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: They've only scored 12 goals in those six games.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's two a game.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not gonna cut it.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the captain of the Pooh Pooh Canoe right now is the Calgary Flames.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: They are two and six on the year with a negative twenty goal differential.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: They've only scored seventeen, they've let in thirty-seven.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just an absolute flame out so far.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: They cannot get ignition, and they are captaining the poo poo canoe up Shits Creek right now in the outage rankings.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, let's change it up one more time and go with our doggy bag predictions for this Saturday.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna pick three games where I think the road team can get the victory.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: There are a total of twelve games to choose from, and I'm gonna choose the three teams that I think can walk away with two points.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's two points easily.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, so here are my three.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: I am going to choose the Anaheim Ducks to defeat the Philadelphia Flyers in Philadelphia this Saturday.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Next, I will choose the Golden Knights to get past the Columbus Blue Jackets in Columbus.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, I will choose the Carolina Hurricanes to defeat the St.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Louis Blues on Saturday night.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: So for those of you who are listening at home and around the world, I'm choosing Ducks, Knights, and Hurricanes this Saturday.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: That is your doggy bag prediction segment.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Something that you can take with you.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Time will tell how correct or incorrect these predictions really are.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed today's show and you listened from start to end, please tell a hockey friend.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you did not enjoy the show, then you can tell a hockey foe, just some kind of goon on the other team, and you're really angry at him and you're pissed off, and you want him to not only have to deal with the loss from last night's men's league game, but now he has to listen to this podcast on the way to work and start his day off in a rough way.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: So be sure to share this show with whoever you come in contact with.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: If they enjoy the game of hockey or don't enjoy the game of hockey, that would be greatly appreciated.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to follow the show wherever you get your podcasts.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you could leave a five star rating in review, I would really appreciate it.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram, Biscuit Breakdown, Twitter, Biscuit Breakdown without the O, or Gmail, Biscuit Breakdown Pod at gmail.com.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: This has been Biscuit Breakdown.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Consider yourself served.