Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Discipline will change your life. From chaos to clarity how discipline changes everything. (E)

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Discipline will change your life. From chaos to clarity how discipline changes everything. (E) · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: So today is an Encore episode because I am going
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: on maternity leave. I have hand selected with my assistant Shanai.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We've hand selected episodes that.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: We think will be like just honestly your favorite.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: They're episodes that have either gotten really bad, really really bad,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: really great feedback, or have been shared a lot amongst
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: you guys, or have been shared a lot on socials
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: and reshared on stories, so we thought, you know, we'd
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: bring back kind of the top favorites are the ones
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: that resonated the most with you guys. So I'm going
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: on just three well, the podcast is going on three
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: weeks of maternity leave. I am going on four months
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: of maternity leave. But fear not, fret not, I have
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: created an entire back catalog.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: So after these three weeks of.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Encore episodes, you will be receiving your normal dose of
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: a Monday episode and a head Noise episode, and also
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: some really cool mini series scattered throughout up until the
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: end of the year, and then I will come back
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: for regular programming mid January after kind of the Christmas break.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: So without fucking around any further, enjoy.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: The episode, the encore episode of Today Love you guys
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: so much, so I thought, what better topic for today's
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: episode than to do one that is completely on discipline.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I have a podcast episode.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, you could really do an entire podcast on discipline,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: And I've got one particular episode on discipline that like
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: popped off. It was so fucking popular. It's been reshared
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: so much because of that episode. A lot of the
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: podcasts that I've been interviewed on have been based around
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: this episode, and it is on discipline, and people.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Fucking loved it. So I'm like, I need another.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Episode on discipline, especially coming into the end of the year.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Not because you should be disciplined at the end of
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: the year in the sense of like, oh, don't have fun,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: not this, but because I really want you to get
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: a real understanding of what discipline truly means and what
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: that can look like for you moving into the year,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: what discipline can provide you, how to achieve it in
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a realistic way, and why it is that discipline actually
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: reduces anxiety, depression, overthinking.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: There's so many.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Things that on like a mental from a mental perspective,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: that discipline alleviates so many of those symptoms.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: It is quite life changing.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: So if you're someone that's a bit like, yeah, I'd
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: like to be more disciplined whatever, we're going to break
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: down really what discipline actually means, what it means for you,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: how it can.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Impact your life.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Of course, I'm breaking it down into like like actual
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: points to think about different steps, different things. You know,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I love you know me, I fucking love thee I
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: love categories. So I'm breaking it all down into sections
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: so you can really like sink your teeth into this
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: and flesh it out. And I highly recommend that you
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: grab a pen and a notebook. You sit the fuck down,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: listen to this episode, write everything down so that way
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: you've got your head wrapped around what discipline looks like
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: and you are ready to change your life. If you
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: don't have a pen and paper with you, I'll be
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: summarizing the key points at the end of the episode,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: but definitely listen back to it and just note.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: All those points down.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I think if you have these points that I'm going
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: to give you in this episode top of mind, it
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: will actually transform how you approach anything that you do,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: whether it's goals, whether it's something to do with lifestyle,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I've spoken about milestone and lifestyle goals. Either one, whether
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: it's your health, your mental health, whatever it is, you're
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: going to realize that some simple tweaks in your day
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: to day life will make you feel not only more
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: accomplished and more organiz but a whole lot lighter, happier,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: bit more carefree.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: You're gonna have less pressure on yourself.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Like, if this isn't if I'm not selling it to you,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: then switch this fucking episode off, because if that doesn't
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: sell it, then you're just not interested in being disciplined. Okay,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: you're just not interested in feeling fabulous. All right, let's
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: get straight into it, so I don't have a brain
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: factor today. I apologize. I was just getting too excited
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: during this episode that it.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Slipped my mind. But let's begin with number one. What
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: is discipline?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about it from like a dictionary term, and
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: then I'm going to be talking about discipline of how
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I want you to look at discipline. So firstly, discipline,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: like the dictionary, there's two definitions for it is I'm
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: leaning towards more the second definition, but anyway, Number one
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: the practice of training people to obey rules or a
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: code of behavior using punishment to correct disobedience, so not
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: really or the quality of being able to behave and
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: work in a controlled way, which involves obeying particular rules
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: and standards. So we're really looking at the second one.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: But let's break down my points. Like I said, I've
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: got a bunch to get through, and this is how
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I actually want you to look at discipline. So number one,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: the first point, I want you to reframe what discipline
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: means and what you can get out of discipline. Okay,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: So I want you to look at discipline as a
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: tool that is going to bring you rewards, exciting rewards.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Okay. So discipline is your means to an end. Okay.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: I think we look at discipline as being overly structured
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: or potentially boring or restrictive. I think discipline can come
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: across in our minds as being restrictive. But discipline actually
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: allows adventure. It allows health, success, stability, spontaneity, fun, peace
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: of mind. It allows you to relax and properly relax.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: And I'll explain why that is. And it allows you
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: to be a lot more creative, okay. And the reason
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: for that is, and I'm going to delve into it
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: a lot deeper throughout this episode. But the reason for
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: this is because when you are disciplined, when you have structure,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: when you have organization where you know where you're going,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: when you have a clear idea of what you want
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: to do, how you're going to break it down, how
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: you're going to get to that goal, then you're way
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: less scattered. You're way less like, oh, fuck, I've got
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: to do this, I've got to do that. I've actually here,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I'm actually there. You have organization. Because you're organized in
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the mind and physically with what you do, it freeze
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: up so much extra space in your head in your
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: day for you to actually then think, well, I'm a
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: lot more relaxed because all this is done, all this
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: is structured.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I've got a plan.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: That plan has been put in place, i can stretch
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: out the timeline. It's not like I'm like hustling and
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I'm not having fun and I'm causing my life to
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: be so boring and structured. But I've got a plan,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: i know what I'm doing, everything structured in my mind.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: That because of that, when I do switch off in
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: the afternoon to relax, I'm not thinking, fuck, I've got
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: to do this.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I've got to do that. I've got to write that down.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Don't forget this, Oh, don't forget. I'm relaxed because of that.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I can actually think.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, you know, why don't I spontaneously do something tonight.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Why don't I just call this person and say, you
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: know what, fuck it, I'm gonna pick you up, let's
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: go do this thing.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: You have so much more.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: You free up your life in a crazy way when
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: you are disciplined. When the major important things in your
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: life are taken care of, you can have fun in
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: all the other areas of your life. Okay, And one
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: of my main goals this year, I'll be honest, I've
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: been hard on myself because I have gotten better, not
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: as good as I would have liked to, but I've
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: seen major progress. Is I wanted to be more organized.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, I need to be more organized.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Have I achieved where I wanted to be? No? I haven't.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you, I have not. But have
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I made progress? Yes?
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I have, and all ready that level of organization that
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I have achieved, I've already seen so much benefit come
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: from it.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, and that is all due to discipline. Okay. So discipline.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You want to look at it as enabling freedom to
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: use time, money, and resources more effectively. It enables opportunities.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: So you can actually now have the opportunities to pursue
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: your passions, to pursue your goals because you can, like
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: trust in yourself way more. You can actually, you know,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: you become a person of your word. You actually follow through, you.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Have more time, balance in life, and balance.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: When you've got to properly balance life, it leads to
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: reduced stress, it leads to more fulfillment. So basically, you
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: want to look at discipline as equaling freedom with your time,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: with your money, with your energy. Okay, So discipline gives
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: you options and discipline gives you real control over your life.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: If you are undisciplined, you do not have control of
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: your life.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: So second thing, So that's the first point, point number one.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Reframe what discipline, discipline means and what you get.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Out of it.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Second point, I want you to look at reaching your
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: point of no return and what does that look like.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: What I mean by this is so often we are
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: motivated by an uncomfortable situation and we just want to
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: get out of it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Now. If you're a long term listener.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Of my podcast, you know that I talk a lot
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: about discomfort and how we are always aversive to discomfort
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: and we don't like being uncomfortable. So we'll, if you know,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: without if we don't properly frame it, and if we
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: don't have a clear enough goal, we'll just choose the
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: lesser of the two uncomfortable things.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: So, for example, that's why we procrastinate.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Because in the moment, I could be watching TV or
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I could be folding the laundry. Folding the laundry equals discomfort.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna watch TV. That's ultimately in a nutshell.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: It can be a lot more complicated, but very put it,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: very bas basically, that is why we procrastinate.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: That's why we put things off.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: That's why we can look back in a year's time
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: and think, Wow, I had set some goals in January.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I've not done any of them. It's because we avoid discomfort. Okay,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: So often when we structure goals, it's because we are
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: avoiding discomfort.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Not always.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: There's many times that we'll have a goal, for example,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: like a passion that we want to pursue, where we're
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: running towards something that we like, but, for example, if
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: you're feeling rather unhealthy sluggish, you think, I'm sick of
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: feeling this way. I'm sick of it. I'm going to
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: start exercising, I'm going to start getting up, I'm going
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: to do this, I'm going to do that. So then
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Monday rolls around, you set the alarm, you drag yourself
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: out of bed, you do it, and you're like, oh, okay,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: now I'm feeling a bit better. I haven't been drinking
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: this weekend. I'm at where it's midweek, so I haven't
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: been drinking. I feel a little bit better.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: So fuck this, Fuck this. I don't need I don't
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: need to be getting up so early. I don't need
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: to be training every single day. I don't. I don't
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: need that. I feel okay.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is when we're further
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: enough away from our discomfort, we then get relaxed and
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: then we drop back into it. So that's why you
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: see people yoyoing with their lifestyle of like, oh, I'm
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: gonna stop partying. Watch me not drink for a month. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: they haven't been drinking. They feel good enough. Bang Friday,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: they're drinking again. That month, that week. Okay, look at
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: people with diets, I'm gonna try this fucking hectic diet whatever.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Three days in they're like, this is fucked, and then
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: they go back to it, or they see a little
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: bit of progress and then they go back.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Or A prime example for me is.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: If I'm not living the healthiest lifestyle, it manifests in
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: my skin, my exama. I get really itchy. So then
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck this, I need to get away from
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: this discomfort. I'm going to run away from this discomfort.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: So I do two three days.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Of like really clean eating and like bone.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Broth and things and that, but it's really boring and
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable for me. And then the moment I'm stop getting itchy,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: the moment it stops getting itchy, then I stop doing
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: that really extra healthy lifestyle.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Then I go back to normality. And I've been doing
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: that yogo thing.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I've done it for so long in my life, Okay,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: and I think we can all rel So you've got
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: to look at am I running towards something or am
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I running away from something? Because if you are running
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: away from discomfort, then you're not really reaching your point
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: of no return. You're kind of getting far enough away
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: from it, and when it's not that bad, and when
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: the tables turn and when being being healthy is more
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable than being unhealthy, then you're going to go back
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: to being unhealthy.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Okay. So that's how I want you to look at it.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: You've got to ask yourself, what is my real point
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: of no return? Because at the moment, if I'm still
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: yooing back and forth, I've not reached my point of
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: no return. I have to identify what my point of
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: no return looks, like, what am I going to value more?
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: And why? What does it mean? Okay?
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: So for example, this is why a lot of people
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: have this like like a moment that woke them up
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: in their life. It could have been a major health scare,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: it could have been when someone left them in a relationship.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: It could have been when they got fired and whatever.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Like sometimes people have this like catastrophic quote unquote catastrophic
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: maybe not construt but a huge event that occurs in
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: their life and it was their point of no return
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: make or break moment in their life that thought, I
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: am in my aha moment, I'm never looking back.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: But the beauty is that you don't need.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: A catastrophic event to occur in your life for you
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: to have this aha moment, you just need to be
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: very aware of what what would your life look like
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: if you truly decided to make that change, if you
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: truly decided to give that thing up or start doing
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: that thing or putting in this level of effort or
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: dealing with this level of discomfort, What would that look like?
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: And what is your point of no return? What will
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: it take for you to make that change? And I'm
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: not talking about a crazy change. I'm even saying, what
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: would it take for you to stop scroll doom scrolling
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: on your phone and start reading for thirty minutes every
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: night if you found out that it equaled sound sleep
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Moving forward?
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: What would it take?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Because you have to factor in all these different things
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: of what is it going to take for me to
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: start choosing a healthier lifestyle, or for me to start
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: choosing myself over other things, or for me to start
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: chose using taking these big risks so I can like
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: go further in my career, whatever it is, what will
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: it take?
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: What is my point of no return? Okay?
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And a really good way of doing this is look
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: at examples of other people that have done this.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Look at interviews of people that have gone through like
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: a major event, like David.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Goggins, and you know all these people that have decided
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'm done, I'm fucking done, and I'm going to make
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: that change. And I'm now running towards something that I want,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: not running away from something that I don't want.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, since.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Number three, what is this, there's a value proposition?
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: What is the value? Okay? How do we maintain the
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: value of what we're going towards? Top of mind?
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Okay, so remember that we are likely to change our
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: mind all the time. When I'm feeling really itchy and
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: my exom is horrible, it's really easy for me to
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: have my health top of mind, and I think, oh
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: my god, it's so nice when my skin's not itchy,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: and when I feel really healthy, it's so and that
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: is top of mind, and there's nothing I value more
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: in that moment that when I'm sitting there itchy, putting
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: ice on my skin, there's nothing I value more than
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: not being itchy, being really healthy, feeling amazing.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: In the morning when I wake up. So that's it.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: But then when I'm not that itchy, when I'm distracted,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: when I'm this that starts dropping down out of top
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: of mind, right, So how do we keep this thing
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: top of mind?
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, You've got to remind.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Yourself that you your mind changes all the time. What
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: you value in the moment changes all the time, depending
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: on the environment that you're in. So what I want
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: you to do is I want you to put yourself
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: in the shoes of your weak dog self. We all
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: have a weak dog in us, all of us that
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: shows up all the fucking time. This week fucking dog
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: rolls in when we least need it, And that's the
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: version of ourselves that's like, I'll start next week, I'll
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: do it later. Oh, don't worry about that now, Fuck this,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: fuck this, fuck this.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Choose easy, easy, and going to choose just like the
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: easiest version of my reality right now.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: That's the week dog version of yourself.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: So you need to really remind yourself of what it
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: feels like when you're in that week dog state.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Get clear on who that person looks like.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Because this brings me to point three, which is removed
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: denial and any other delusional chat that you love to
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: entertain yourself with.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Get rid of it, because so many of us are
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: in denial.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: We will say I'm going to start this thing, I'm
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: going to change this thing, I'm going to do this thing,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: not factoring in that we have said that a thousand times.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: We have set ourselves up in the exact same way,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: and we have failed in the exact same way a
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: thousand times over. Doesn't matter what it is that you're
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: trying to do. It doesn't matter what the goal is.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: It just doesn't matter. And I actually had this discussion
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: with my partner Tyrone the other day because he was like, Oh,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: and I said, well, how are you going to do
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: it differently this time? Because you've said that you're going
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: to do that before. I support you wholeheartedly. I know
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: that you're very excited, but what's going to be different?
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: And he was like, what do you mean. No, I'm
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: really excited, I'm going to do it. And I'm like,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: that's delusional what you're saying, because everyone can be excited
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: when they're about to start something. Everyone can do this,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Like what is going to be different? And so then
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: he started being like, oh, okay, yeah, true, true, true,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: You're right nothing. So then he started formulating ideas for
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: increasing the likelihood for him to follow through consistently on
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: this new task that he's undertaking.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And he has taken these measures.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: He's got an accountability buddy, He's got all these different things. Anyway,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying is that if you aren't aware of
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: your delusional self, then you are not going to make
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: significant changes in your life. You've got to, and it's
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: not nice reminding yourself of the version of you that's lazy,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: that doesn't want to do things, that talks yourself out
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: of things that you deep down really want to do.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: If you don't want to face that self, then you're
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: going to be facing that same roadblock time and time
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: and time and time and time again. Okay, So for me,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: I know when it is that I make excuses for myself.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I know when it is that I'm most likely to
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: not do something. I know all these things about me,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: So I need to remind myself of what that looks like,
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: and I need to remove any delusional chat, and delusional
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: chat would be this time is going to be different
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: without explaining why it's going to be different, what parameters
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: have I put in place to prove that this time
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: is actually going to be different? And if the answer
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: is none, then you're being delusional. Okay, And I'm not
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: saying that you are an absolute delusional cunt all the time,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: but I'm saying you now need to change what that
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: looks like.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: So if I'm setting it up the same as the
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: last can ten times, why is it going to be different?
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: What am I going to do to change it?
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: What hard thing am I going to put into place
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: so I make it even harder for me not to
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: do that thing? What are the excuses that I always
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: come up with? And how can I like prepare for that?
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Okay? When you're going to you know, come up with
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: an excuse, Okay.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Someone who just says, oh, this time is going to
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: be different but can't answer why it's going to be different,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: you're pretty much it's a sure thing that the result
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: is going to be the same. You're going to stop,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: You're going to quit. You're going to give up when
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: it's not as uncomfortable anymore. You're not going towards something,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: You're running away from something. The next point is what
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: does your word mean to you? This is huge, huge, huge.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: If you have one goal for twenty twenty five, I'm
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: going to give it to you right now. If you're like,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know what my theme for twenty twenty five is,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give it to you right now. You're
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: going to write this down on a fucking cardboard. If
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: you watch my last Monday's episode on vision boarding, go
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: to fucking office works, print out huge board and write
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: what does this look like?
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: You don't know what your goal.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Is for twenty twenty five, I'm going to give it
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: to you right now. I'm gonna fucking give it to
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: you on a silver platter. This is going to be
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: the best goal that you can have, no matter who
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: you are, no matter where you're starting with. The goal
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: is I'm going to become a person of my word. Okay,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: there is nothing more powerful.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: That's going to be my goal. So I've just shared
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: it with you.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: My top top, top top goal above all my other goals,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: not just for twenty twenty five, but moving forward, is
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I want to be a person of my word.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: I follow through. I have fucking follow through.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: What I say is done, Okay, I don't want and
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: most importantly to myself, that's the most important one. If
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: you are not a person of your word. Then if
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: you don't have your word, you got nothing. Okay, So
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: learning to become a person of your word is going
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: to be transformational for you. Every time you let yourself down,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: you value your own word less. Just like if someone
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: else did that to you, if you had a friend
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: that says, oh my god, we're gonna do this, let's
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: do this, let's do that, and then they either never
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: text you back about that thing, or then they never
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: follow through with it, or they cancel one time, you're
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: like okay, second time, ten times, then you're like, this
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: person is a flake.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Love them so much. They might have all these other.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Qualities, but they're a flake. They're a fucking flake. I
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: can't rely on them as far as I can fucking
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: throw them.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: So you're doing that to yourself every time. Every time
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: you promise yourself you're going to do something. You promise, you.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Announce it, you write it down, you like pray on it,
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: you fucking manifest, you meditate, and then you don't follow through.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: You are then believing yourself less and less and less.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Unless your confidence in yourself and your own abilities goes down,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: whether you realize it or not, you want to have
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: conviction in your word, and I don't care if you
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: now have to start from scratch, to wipe the slate
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: clean and start from the beginning. So you want to
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: start easy, you want to start small. But the promise
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: you make to yourself is from now when I'm a
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: person of my word, even if that means that I
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: refuse to make a promise that I'm not sure I
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: can keep good good, Okay, So start.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: With small commitments.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: You're going to say today, no matter what, I'm going
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: to spend twenty minutes tidying up my whatever or going
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: through my inbox and deleting whatever. Like, you set yourself
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: a goal and then you actually do it, so you're like, see,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: I was a person of my word. I followed through
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: today no matter what, I'm going to pay that overdue bill. No,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: I will not go to bed until that thing is paid.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: And then you follow through. Or I'm going to do
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: five minutes of reading every day, five minutes of reading
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: every day, and then you follow through. Then you start
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: being like, wow, for the last thirty days, okay, they
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: were all random things.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: That I did.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: It wasn't necessarily cumulative. But I can now say that
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: for the last thirty days. I promise myself I'd do
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: some task, and I've done it. So now you start
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: to think, now, because I've got such good follow through,
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: every time I promise it to myself, I have to
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: follow through.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I'm committing.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: I've made a commitment to myself. And because I'm making
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: such a strong commitment, I know I'm not going to
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: set myself up to do a task that I know
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: for sure is unrealistic. So then you start being a
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: lot kinder to yourself. You start being a lot more realistic.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Then you start being able to set bigger goals, harder goals,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: goals that are more uncomfortable when you're having your weak
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: dog moment, And then before you know it, you're like,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I am a person of my fucking word, like we
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: all have. I just gave you the example of a
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: flake friend. We all have at least hopefully one example
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: in our life of a friend who is a fucking
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: person of their word. What they say, they do, they
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: follow through every time, and if they can't follow through,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: they're giving you ample notice, and they're they're giving you.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Alternative options for that plan.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Like they they're solid, they know exactly what they mean
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: their word has weight. I want you to be that
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: person for yourself. The moment that turns around for you,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: everything will turn around because you trust yourself. You say,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: if I'm said I'm doing it, I'm fucking doing it.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: If I'm not gonna do it, I'm taking it back.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say it. I am done telling myself
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: that I'm waking up tomorrow at the first alarm and
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: not snoozing it and then doing it for the last
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: three hundred and sixty five days. I am done, Okay,
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: or you know, so instead of setting the alarm that early,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I need to I need to sort it out.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: What am I going to do?
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I'm going to move the alarm to the kitchen so
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: it's blaring and I have to get out of bed.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Am I going to not wake up that early? Maybe
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: like a little bit later so it's more achievable, but
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I actually do get up. What am I going to do?
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: But I am going to be a person of my word.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: I'm never I don't want to lie to myself again. Okay,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: So remember with this point. I know I've banged on
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: with this point, but it's the most important one. You
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: are better off promising way less to yourself, but following
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: through and then creating a track record for yourself than
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: trying to commit to too much, get being overwhelmed, finding
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: it too high, not following through, because remember it's all
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: about the track record. Am I learning that I'm a
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: person of my word or not? So who cares how
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: small it is? Start small, okay? You want to set
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: your standard and then you grow from there. We wouldn't
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: like other people, you know, thinking that we're all talk.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I would hate for someone to say, oh, Alexi is
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: all talk. I would hate that. So why am I
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: going to put up with that from myself?
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Stop putting up with this shit like as if you're
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: like a piece of fucking gluten free bread with no
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: fucking structural integrity.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: You're much better than that. Okay, You've got structural integrity.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: You're going to be a person of your word in
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty five or today onwards hopefully.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, So you want.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: To commit and I'm making a huge commitment to be
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: a person of my word as well. Shanaiah is staring
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: at me right now and she fucking how many times?
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, we're going to fucking do all of
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: this today and then we don't follow through. I'm not
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: doing that anymore. We're going to be people of our words.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm very excited for this twenty twenty five goal.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: So basically, I want you to look at your relationship
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: with yourself as if it the same as your relationship
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: with someone else. What would you be willing to put
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: up with? What wouldn't you be Okay? Proving to yourself.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Proving something to yourself is massive, Okay, And it's one
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: of the biggest stepping stones to being confident, to being
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: like really self assured, to having high self esteem and
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: really high levels of self love.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's just iconic.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: The next point that I want you to think about,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I've got two more points, and then I'm just going
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: to give you a couple of little examples is discipline
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: is the greatest form of self love ever. If you're
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: ever wondering what can I do to increase my self love,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: number one is have some discipline, because discipline is a commitment, okay,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: And a commitment is choosing to be somewhere when you
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: could be somewhere else.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: I am committing to do this. It is a choice.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: It is not where you actually don't really have much
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: of a choice. So like, for example, going to work, Yeah,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: it's technically a choice, but is it really like you
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: need to live, you need to pay your rent, you
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: need to make money, so going to work, yeah, okay,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: but it's really quite easy for you to go to
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: work because the alternative is just quite awful and not
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: having anywhere to live, not being able to pay your bills.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about a commitment where you are voluntarily choosing
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: to be somewhere again and again and again, or choosing
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: to show up for someone in this scenario, yourself again
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: and again and again, when you could be doing something
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: else in that time. So when you rock up to
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: the gym, you could be on your couch, you could
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: be doing something else, but you're here.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: You're here doing that thing. That's a commitment, Okay.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Commitment and discipline is a crazy display of self love.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: It's saying I could be here, I could be somewhere else,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: but I'm here for me, for you, for whatever. I'm here,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: all right. And the beauty of it is that commitment
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: is a choice. If it's not a choice, then it's
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: not really that. It doesn't weigh that heavily as far
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: as discipline, you have chose to carve this out and
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: put this number one in this moment, and you're doing
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: that for yourself. So discipline helps you prioritize yourself, helps
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: you prioritize your goals. It reinforces your self worth, your
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: self respect, pride in yourself, a greater belief in your abilities.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: You can rely on yourself. You finally learn to rely
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: on yourself. When you can rely on yourself for physical
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: things like I'm getting up at this time where I'm
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: going to do this thing, or I'm going for this
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: walk or whatever, then you start being able to rely
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: on yourself for emotional things or for mental mentally difficult
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: task things like I'm going to refrain from the pool
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: of scrolling on my phone and I'm going to read.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: A book instead.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to start having more psychological control over my life,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: my resources, right, and then you have more control emotionally.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: I'm able to deal with my emotions. I can look
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: at my emotions, I can sit with them, i can
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: learn from them.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: I'm not avoiding. I'm becoming disciplined in every.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Area where I am trying to show up as the
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: best version of myself in every area of my life
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: life okay. And then lastly, is more control over your
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: life equals.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Less anxiety and frantic thoughts. Okay.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: When you have more stability and I'm not talking about
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: boring stability of aura. When you have more stability overall mentally, emotionally, physically,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: this equals way more freedom. What you feel so much lighter.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: When something is a given, you never have to think,
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: am I going to do this?
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Am I not going to do this?
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: Ever?
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Again?
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: This is why habits are so good, because they're a given.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I don't have to question what I'm doing every morning.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: If I know it's a done deal, I've now freed
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: up my mind to think about other shit. If I
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: ponder around the house fucking around every morning, being like
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I could be doing this, but I also could rit Aurora,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I'm wasting time. I'm wasting mental capacity when it could
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: have been a done deal.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: That's what discipline affords you.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: You have a set way of doing certain things and
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: following through with certain things. You don't even question anymore.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: You become a person of your word that now you're
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: able to free up your mind with so many things.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: When you start organizing your life. I readid my wardrobe
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: on the weekend. Guys, I can't explain to you the
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: mental freedom it gave me for the rest of the weekend.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: And that's just one task. One thing I did, one
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: thing I read. Did my wardrobe.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I took everything out, cleaned the shelves, folded everything nicely,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: put it away, put the winter stuff in storage.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: I did all this shit, and I felt like I
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: could like run a country.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: By the end of that session, I was like, I
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: am the Prime Minister of Australia, Thank you very much.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I was that organized, I was that in control of everything.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: I felt unbelievable. And then when I went to relax,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: there was nothing on my mind.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: I was relaxed.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, So when you are disciplined, when you get shit done,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: when you have structure, you can actually relax when you're
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: sitting there thinking I've got to do this, I've got
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: to do that. My place is a mess, my inbox
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: is a mess, all these things are a mess. Everything's
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: a shit show. How the fuck are you going to relax?
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: And it's not to say that everything's got to be
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: perfect at all times. It's to say, if I can
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: keep things at bay, I don't expect everything to be perfect.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: But if I know that I've got everything under control
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: to an extent, things are always going to be cropping up.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Issues are always going to be cropping up.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: But because you build yourself up to be disciplined enough
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: to deal with it when it arises, that's going to
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: be taking care of on a week by week basis.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: I don't let it like build up into a mountain.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Then even though things are cropping up or you know,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I can still be relaxed and be at ease because
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: I've not put things off for months and months and
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: months and months and months on end. You know, I
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: know that that gets tackled on a weekly basis. That
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: gets tackled on a weekly basis, so I don't have
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: to stress. However, if I procrastinated on everything, then it's
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: building and building and building. How am I going to relax?
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I have no control over my own circumstances. And people
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: that have no control over their own circumstances or feel
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: that they have no control, end up trying to control
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: things that are not actually within their control. They try
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: and control how other people feel, what other people do,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: the friends around them. They get really hurt. They get
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: hurt by things that aren't even there to hurt them.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: You'll perceive a neutral situation as an offensive situation or
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: as a negative thing because you don't feel like you're
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: in control. The moment you turn that around and think,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: the only thing I'm going to focus on is controlling
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: what is actually within my control, and that is me
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: what I do with my time, with my energy, with
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: my money, with my resources.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Then I have all the freedom in the fucking world.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Everyone can behave the way they want to behave, and
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: I'll know how to react. I'll know how to respond.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: But I've got my shit under control. And when I've
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: got my shit under control, I don't have anxiety, or
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: I've got way less anxiety. I feel calmer, I feel
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: more at peace, I feel a lot better. It's not
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: to say that all your mood disorders will disappear, but
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: I can guarantee you they will simmer down to an
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: extent at the very least. At the very least, you
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: will see improvements, major improvements. You will start to finally
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: feel like yourself again. You'll start to feel creative again.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: You start to think, now I want to take on
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: new things. I've got the bandwidth now to take on
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: new things, whether it be a hobby, whether it be
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: a milestone goal that I'm working towards. I want to
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: run a marathon, or I want to do this trip
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: that I've always wanted to do.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Save up and plan it and do the trip.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: You now have the emotional and mental and health and
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: physical bandwidth to do it because of the discipline.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, So it provides clarity. You've given yourself clarity.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: This reduces anxiety and increases productivity. When you're focusing on
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: what you can control, you stop wasting your energy trying
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: to control other shit, and then you feel good.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: So now the last thing that I want to do
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: is give you examples of how you can start with discipline.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Like I said at the very beginning, when we're talking
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: about being a person of your word, you want to
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: make sure that you are doing things that you can
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: foresure achieve so you can start building a bit of
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: a repat remutation with yourself, because your reputation is so important,
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: especially with yourself, mostly with yourself, Okay, you want to
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: create that reputation.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: And the reputation is not built overnight.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: It takes months and in some circumstances years to build
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: a reputation.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, so what we're.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Gonna do is we're gonna start committing ourselves to doing
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: one task every single day, and you make it as
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: small as you want, but you have to follow through
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: with it. And ideally you want it to be a
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: task that you're not already automatically going to do. So
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: you can't be like, oh, I'm going to shower today,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: because hopefully you're already fucking showering, you dirty hunt. So
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: what you're gonna do is come up with a task
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: that you probably wouldn't normally do, but it doesn't have
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: to be massive.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: And you're going to follow through. Watch how you start
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: to change. Watch how you feel fourteen days.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Later, thirty days later, one month in from being like
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I set myself a small task, better task every day
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: and I followed through.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Some days you might.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Be like, I'm on a fucking I'm in the zone.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go and run ten k's and then
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: you do it. Okay, Yeah, so some day you set
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: yourself a much bigger thing and you follow through and
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: it feels great. But some days you're like, I have
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: stretched thin today, and I know that for a fact.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: But I'm still gonna be a person of my word.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna set something I know I can achieve.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to clean out one draw in the kitchen.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna whatever the fuck
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: it is. Okay, So you start small, but you start
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: to become a person of your word, you start to
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: prove things for you. Another great thing, and I mentioned
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: this is in my Old Discipline episode, but one of
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: the best ways to start building discipline is to become
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: disciplined on a physical task because it's a lot easier
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: to discipline the body than it is the mind to
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: start with. But a disciplined body creates a disciplined mind. Okay,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: where the body goes, the mind will follow. So I
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: want you to start thinking, what are some physical things
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: that I can do? Because if you're like, oh, but
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: I always lean into these, I get really distracted, I
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: get really addicted. I get you know, I you know,
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: find it really hard to not be on my phone
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: or to not just rot or couch rot and watch
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: to So start thinking, what are some physical things that
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: I can start to do to start creating some actual discipline.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: A great example of this is like picking one like
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: running is a great one, but you don't have to
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: be a runner, walking, yoga, whatever, But some physical task
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: where you can also see a bit of improvement as
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: well to keep you really emotionally invested in that thing. So,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: for example, you could be walking, but sometimes with walking,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: especially if you're some of that already walks quite a bit,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: you might not be saying improvement, so it might not
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: be as exciting.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: But if that floats your boat, make it walking.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: But ideally you want something where you're like, wow, I'm
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: noticing changes in my body. I'm noticing that the more
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I stick to this, the better I get, and the
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: better I get, the better I get. And then when
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: you start creating discipline in the body, you'll notice by
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: default your mind follows becomes.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Easier to stick to discipline with your mind.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get on my phone this afternoon, or
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I'm only going to let myself be on the phone
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: until five pm or six pm or whatever, and then
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: I'm done.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: I'm cut. That's the cut off time or whatever it is. Okay,
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: but start with.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: The physical discipline first. If you struggle with mental discipline
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: and watch everything unfold, from there. Okay, Now, I want
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: you to pick some task, ideally today or in the
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: next week or so, after listening to this episode. But
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: let's pick some task for the fun of it. You
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: might already be doing it after listening to thousands off
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: my fucking after listening to like thousands of all my
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: episodes in the past.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: We're not thousands, but probably four hundred.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: You know, you might already be meditating, or might already
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: be doing a bunch of things. But I want you
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: to pick one task as we come into the end
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: of the year that you're going to choose to be
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: your discipline thing. Is it going to be I'm going
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: to wake up a bit earlier, I'm going to start
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: practicing the Rubik's cube every day. I'm going to start
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: doing one Sudoka puzzle the day. I'm going to run.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be a fucking runner. I've got whatever
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: it is. But ideally, pick a task, maybe make it
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: physical to be to help you know discipline the body.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: And I want.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: You to share that physical task with me on the
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Facebook group or in if you're part of my Self
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Love Club, on my broadcast channel, on Instagram, on my
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: personal account at Alexis Fernandez Prexa.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Then definitely right.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna put a little question here on Monday, I'm
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: going to put a little question on what discipline task
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: A you're gonna do, and please share what that will be.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: But yeah, let me know what that is. So that
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: is the episode of today. I am going to summarize
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: all the key points again as I promised I would.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: So get your fucking pen or pencil or pacer and
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: your notebook and let's go through the point. So number one,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I want you to reframe what discipline means to you, freedom, opportunities, balance,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: options and control.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Number two? What is your actual point of no return?
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: What does that look like? Number three?
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: What is the actual value I'm getting out of this
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: thing so it stays top of mind?
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: What does that look like?
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: How can I, you know, have this thing as the
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: most important thing my mind so I can be working
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: towards it all the time. Is it that I finally
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: want to be a person of my word? Is it
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: that I want to finally actually feel healthy and have
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: my health progress? Is it that I don't want to
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: fucking eximary anymore?
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: What is it? Number four?
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: I think remove denial and any other delusional conversations that
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: you entertain yourself with. Stop being in denial. Know what
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: that looks like so you can prepare for it. Number five,
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: what does sticking to your word mean to you? How
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: can you become a person of your word? How can
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: you become someone with conviction?
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Number six, discipline is the biggest form of self love.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: What does it mean to you? And what does a
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: commitment really mean? Like I spoke about, commitment is a choice?
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: So how can you start making these choices where you
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: could be doing something else? But no, you are committing
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: to do this. It is a choice, and that's more
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: important than something that's not a choice because it means
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: that you are. It takes effort for you to be there,
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: and you're still choosing to be there for you.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: That's why it's a form of self love. And lastly,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: number seven.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: That more control over your life equals less anxiety, less
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: frantic thoughts, less mood disorders, more stability equals spontaneity and freedom,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: So you get more.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: The more you give, the more you get.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: This is not about controlling your life to a point
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: where you have no freedom zone. It's so structured. The
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: structure actually provides for way more freedom, way more spontaneity,
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: way more that you could ever imagine, because discipline doesn't
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: mean I've got to be some drill sergeant every single
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: day of my life. Discipline means I follow through with
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: what I say I'm going to do, and it allows
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: for the off days. If I'm not feeling well, if
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: my body needs to rest, I listen to it and
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I rest. If I need to, you know, go on
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: a holiday and not do not move for seven days
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: because I'm just chilling. I can do that because I
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: am disciplined most of the time.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: That's the beauty of it.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: You can have an eighty percent hit rate and you'll
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: probably be one of the most disciplined people.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: You have a seventy percent hit rate, and you're probably
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: one of the most disciplined people that you know. It's
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: actually not that to be that disciplined, But those who
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: are disciplined have a lot of fucking freedom in their life.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: It's really really refreshing to stay see start looking for
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: examples around you, those that are disciplined and what their
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: life looks like versus those that are not disciplined, and
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: how much of a shambles their life can look like Okay,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: discipline is not obvious. It's not someone that has to
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: be like the personal trainer at five am.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Discipline does not have to look like that.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: It's all in the person's mind and how they run
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: their life and how they choose to control the things
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: that are within their control. All right, And then the
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: last bit was examples. So start with something physical, and
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: start with something small. Make a small promise to yourself
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: every day that you're actually going to follow through with,
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: so you start becoming a person off your world.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: That is the episode for today. Thank you so much
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: for tuning in. I love you guys so much, so much.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Massive shout out to my global beans I love I
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: love my beans so much. Can I just say shout
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: out to my Dutch beans, my beans in the Netherlands,
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: love you so much. Congratulations on Max the Stappen winning
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: his fourth World championship. Ye I love Formula One so much.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: I love it so much. If you listen to my
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: vision boarding episode you would know. But someone please get
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: me a ticket to the Grand Prix or get like
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: I just I find it so hard to get access
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: to the Grand Prix. I need to go to the
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: Formula one anyway. That's so, I went on a tangent,
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: but love my dutch Beans, Love you guys so much.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Anyway. That's all for today. As always, remember becond to yourself,
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: be kind to your brain.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: from yourself.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Duncans