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Dance Camp and all the magic · Mooney's Mythic Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to this amazing, wonderful thing, Mooney's Mythic Podcast.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for arriving in this place.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: This week's podcast is sponsored completely by you, by all of you gorgeous souls that are listening.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for,
0:25
SPEAKER_00: um,
0:26
SPEAKER_00: yeah,
0:26
SPEAKER_00: all of the attention to,
0:29
SPEAKER_00: um,
0:30
SPEAKER_00: to this creative outpouring that is Mooney's Mythic Podcast.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Thanks to everyone who has shared it.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: Thanks to everyone who has, um, recommended it to somebody.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for all of you guys who have put stickers up or,
0:47
SPEAKER_00: um,
0:47
SPEAKER_00: put stickers in,
0:48
SPEAKER_00: in odd and interesting places.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for
0:51
SPEAKER_00: Claire Richards who took them to Butterfield and put them in places in Butterfield
0:57
SPEAKER_00: thanks for Imogen and Lizzie I know you put them around dance camp it was wonderful
1:02
SPEAKER_00: to see them I'm not sure how much uptake I get from putting the stickers out but
1:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm really enjoying them somehow they just seem to be
1:13
SPEAKER_00: an affirmation of it being a real thing.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: So that's really gorgeous.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Thank you to my friend's daughter, Lauren, who stuck one on her mom's car.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: Really grateful.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for all your feedback.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Thank you,
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Tess,
1:29
SPEAKER_00: for your ideas,
1:32
SPEAKER_00: your listening,
1:34
SPEAKER_00: the way that you listen and the way that you honor the podcast and celebrate the podcast.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: Thank you to Elizabeth Jane Lovely,
1:44
SPEAKER_00: who recorded last week's podcast because I was away and I haven't listened to it yet.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: I thought I better get this one recorded before I listen to it.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, I would be copying you, Elizabeth.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: I'd be probably trying to talk like you.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: and I don't want to do that so I'm going to record this and then I'm going to have
2:06
SPEAKER_00: a really good time listening to your podcast I thought it was a really generous
2:11
SPEAKER_00: thing for you to do to record the podcast whilst I was away
2:17
SPEAKER_00: Thanks to Ripple, who wants just stories.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: She wants some recordings of just stories.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: And I will do that over the winter.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: But for now,
2:26
SPEAKER_00: Ripple,
2:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to send you some stories that I recorded onto a CD a few years ago so
2:30
SPEAKER_00: that you've got something to listen to.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: And I know that I said that this episode would be about PJ Harvey and the Toll
2:41
SPEAKER_00: Puddle Martyrs,
2:42
SPEAKER_00: but PJ Harvey,
2:43
SPEAKER_00: I love you,
2:45
SPEAKER_00: but you're just going to have to wait.
2:47
SPEAKER_00: Because this podcast for me is about what's alive,
2:51
SPEAKER_00: what's living,
2:52
SPEAKER_00: what's totally bubbling on the inside for me and how that translates into myth and story.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, so I've got lots of other things that are bubbling inside me this week.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: So
3:03
SPEAKER_00: That's how the podcast has been stewed and stirred and created.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to go and see you lovely Polly Harvey in a few weeks in London.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure that that will evoke a podcast all dedicated to you and your magic.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: So I've been away.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: I've been in Wales, in Pembrokeshire.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: I have been to the infamous Dance Camp Wales.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't been, it's a very magical and delightful affair.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: It's been going for about 35 years on the same piece of land.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: And it started as a circle dancing camp.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: And circle dancing...
3:50
SPEAKER_00: is a traditional folk dance that we've done on this land for hundreds of years.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: And when I dance in a circle on land with other people with live music,
4:02
SPEAKER_00: I really do feel my ancestors putting their tools down from a days
4:08
SPEAKER_00: working or farming,
4:09
SPEAKER_00: putting their needles down and their pans down and coming from the corners of the
4:14
SPEAKER_00: village to all gather together and dance.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: And it feels like a precious and special thing.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like the movements that we weave are like the,
4:25
SPEAKER_00: you know,
4:25
SPEAKER_00: the movements of the constellations of the stars on the earth.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: It's just incredible.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: It is so special.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: It's beyond the mind, really.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: I could talk about it.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: I know that's the point of the podcast, to talk about things.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: But for me, it stirs me beyond the mind.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: And that's an exciting thing for me.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: And my job at Dance Camp is to tell stories, which of course is my safe and happy place.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: It's the place where I feel I've been put on this earth to do,
4:55
SPEAKER_00: which I love every night,
4:57
SPEAKER_00: to tell stories to the camp,
5:00
SPEAKER_00: bedtime stories.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: But I had another job this year because Joan,
5:06
SPEAKER_00: who owns the land,
5:08
SPEAKER_00: who's been giving permission to this dance camp for many years,
5:12
SPEAKER_00: who really brings the etheric,
5:14
SPEAKER_00: the unseen to camp.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: She's very much connected with the elementals, with the invisible magic that goes on in nature.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: She brings that every year and she's been unwell.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: So she asked me to do one of her jobs, which is the beating of the bounds.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: Now the beating of the bounds is very, very simple.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: It's just going around the perimeter of the camp,
5:46
SPEAKER_00: calling in the elements,
5:47
SPEAKER_00: calling in the earth,
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SPEAKER_00: air,
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SPEAKER_00: fire and water and asking for their protection and blessing.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: And it's such a simple thing, but so powerful.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: And I was very nervous about it because Joan's done it for many,
6:00
SPEAKER_00: many,
6:01
SPEAKER_00: many years and really does it with all her regal and
6:06
SPEAKER_00: connected queen and I felt that I might not have the the power or the knowledge or
6:14
SPEAKER_00: the wisdom or all of those things to do it but actually when I started to do it
6:20
SPEAKER_00: it's so simple and so natural and such a human
6:24
SPEAKER_00: thing to do i can recommend if you're creating a space to do it around your home
6:30
SPEAKER_00: just a walk with your footsteps around the entirety of the space stopping at each
6:38
SPEAKER_00: direction and asking for protection and blessing and i could really feel a kind of
6:44
SPEAKER_00: bubble of a force field being created around the space
6:51
SPEAKER_00: And then it becomes a really safe space for creativity, for transformation, for new ways of being.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: And there's lots of that at Dance Camp.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: It's not just dancing.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: It's all different kinds of creativity where people are trying out new things and
7:06
SPEAKER_00: trying out new identities within themselves and different ways of walking in life
7:13
SPEAKER_00: and exploring themselves,
7:15
SPEAKER_00: exploring the land.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: It's just totally cool.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: So the new thing that I was trying out this camp was falling in love.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: I haven't been in love for a long time, for many years.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: And,
7:31
SPEAKER_00: you know,
7:32
SPEAKER_00: with my bringing up my son and dedicating to other parts of my life,
7:38
SPEAKER_00: I feel it's a really unbearable.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: untended place within me.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: So I did explore falling in love.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: I really fell in love at this camp.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so
7:56
SPEAKER_00: stagnated or forgotten.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: It's such a forgotten about place in me.
8:01
SPEAKER_00: Even Noah,
8:02
SPEAKER_00: my son,
8:02
SPEAKER_00: he doesn't take my advice anymore about love because he was sort of showing off to
8:10
SPEAKER_00: a girl that he really fancied when he was about six and I took him aside and said,
8:14
SPEAKER_00: you know,
8:14
SPEAKER_00: that's not the way.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: He was kind of like gooning around her and sort of trying to trip her up and kind
8:20
SPEAKER_00: of hitting her on the back of the head and I said,
8:22
SPEAKER_00: that's not how you...
8:24
SPEAKER_00: you know get girls interested in you you must say you know talk to her say
8:28
SPEAKER_00: interesting things and and so he went up to her and he said oh you know um there's
8:32
SPEAKER_00: some parts of the world where it's so cold when you spit it just freezes in front
8:36
SPEAKER_00: of your face and she looked at him and she said and she walked away so he was
8:41
SPEAKER_00: crestfallen and and since then doesn't trust any of my advice
8:47
SPEAKER_00: And he's right in a way,
8:49
SPEAKER_00: because what I saw and felt as I opened my heart into this infatuation was that my maiden,
9:00
SPEAKER_00: my lover place,
9:02
SPEAKER_00: she's chronically shy.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't speak to men or boys or she can't look them in the eye.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: She's stiff and frightened.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: and then I've got this other part of me my harlot and she's about six and she's you
9:21
SPEAKER_00: know she's just like totally showing off all the time and really loud and just
9:26
SPEAKER_00: really wants that person's attention whatever level and so I've got these two parts
9:33
SPEAKER_00: playing out and my inner lover my inner sensual woman is nowhere to be seen
9:43
SPEAKER_00: My maiden, she just wants to touch forearms with another.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: She just wants that level of connection, of delight.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: Nothing more than that.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: She wants to take things absolutely slowly.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: And my harlot, she wants it all, you know, she wants it all right away.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: So often I can feel quite violated in relationships because my six-year-old is
10:15
SPEAKER_00: really charging ahead and the rest is being left behind.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: So I really felt these things on the field.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: And then as luck would have it, I'd mistakenly rented my flat out for a couple of days after I came back.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: So I couldn't go straight home.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: And I stayed at my precious friend Anna's around the corner.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Anna, for such a soft and deep landing.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: It was really precious, really, really precious.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: And her daughter, Jasmine, she's seven, and she taught me this song, this boundary song.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: She didn't know all of it,
10:56
SPEAKER_00: but it really,
10:57
SPEAKER_00: really touched me because of all that I threw,
10:59
SPEAKER_00: threw,
10:59
SPEAKER_00: threw,
11:00
SPEAKER_00: threw,
11:00
SPEAKER_00: threw.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: And it goes like, like, like, like, I mean, I'm going to sing what I can remember, but
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Please stop.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't like that.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling uncomfortable.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: I need more space.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: Not around me.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: Don't take it personally.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: That's just a boundary.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: That's a boundary.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling uncomfortable.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: I need more space.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: I mean,
11:25
SPEAKER_00: that really knocked me because I suddenly heard Britney going,
11:31
SPEAKER_00: hit me baby one more time and feeling the messages that I got as when I was her age
11:40
SPEAKER_00: were so different to that.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: I remember the first one of my friends getting married when I was very young and
11:52
SPEAKER_00: her mother had given her some advice.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: And I remember us all crowding around for these crumbs of advice around how to be with the masculine.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: And it was don't go to bed on an argument.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: Make peace before you go to bed and always have sex with him,
12:10
SPEAKER_00: even when you don't want to,
12:11
SPEAKER_00: because if he's not getting it from you,
12:13
SPEAKER_00: he'll look somewhere else.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: just made me feel so disappointed about getting in relationships and so confused
12:23
SPEAKER_00: because somewhere that just didn't feel or seem right.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: So then I thought about a poem that I'd heard by Holly McNish and I got in touch with her and I
12:39
SPEAKER_00: podcast and she has given me permission i've got it right here i haven't learned it
12:43
SPEAKER_00: i'm going to read it out and i'm going to read it to you when i was a teenage girl
12:52
SPEAKER_00: the newspapers printed stories about the monsters they called pedophiles
12:57
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl,
12:59
SPEAKER_00: a special assembly was called which told us all to watch out for a man flashing his
13:04
SPEAKER_00: penis in the park near the school.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: We all thought it was funny, looked out for the long coat pointed with our friends.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl,
13:15
SPEAKER_00: one newspaper printed a list of home addresses of the people they called paedophiles.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: vigilante justice and one count of linguistic ignorance graffitiing the walls of a pediatrician's home.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl,
13:32
SPEAKER_00: I bought the top 10 record by another teenage girl dancing in school uniform called
13:37
SPEAKER_00: Hit Me Baby One More Time.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: Please hit me baby one more time.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: Please hit me baby one more time.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl, my friend was called a slut for owning three vibrators.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl,
13:54
SPEAKER_00: the front cover of this album had Britney Spears in pigtails looking at the camera
13:59
SPEAKER_00: as little angel as could be.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl,
14:04
SPEAKER_00: my friend told everyone he fingered me in the garden at a house party when really
14:08
SPEAKER_00: he was crying about a problem in his family.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: He apologised to me at school.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: I agreed not to tell the truth.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: We stayed close friends.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl, I opened the CD in my bedroom.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: There was a poster folded up inside to put up on my wall.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: It had Britney dressed in a perfect white vest top,
14:28
SPEAKER_00: sat astride a chair,
14:30
SPEAKER_00: legs parted for the camera,
14:32
SPEAKER_00: camera zoomed onto her crotch.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl,
14:36
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to use a tampon when I was bleeding playing sport because that would
14:41
SPEAKER_00: be like losing my virginity to a tampon before I'd had a dick in me.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl I was told not to put a dick in me.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl I was told that the only sex, real sex, was a dick in me.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl I was told how great a dick in me would be.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl,
15:05
SPEAKER_00: two teenage girls in a Russian pop video snobbed each other in school uniform,
15:10
SPEAKER_00: looking sexy at the camera,
15:11
SPEAKER_00: singing all the things you said,
15:13
SPEAKER_00: all the things you said,
15:14
SPEAKER_00: running through my head,
15:16
SPEAKER_00: running through my head.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl, I was told off for wearing a skirt too short at school.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: I rolled it down each lesson and rolled it up each break.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: When I was a teenage girl, I was told not to take the shortcut.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to walk alone.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to stay out late.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to masturbate.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to get pregnant.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to get fingered.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to be too sexy.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: I was told to be really sexy.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to have sex.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: I was told to sing Hit Me Baby one more time in uniform like hers.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: I was told all the things you said running through my head, running through my head.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: When I was in my 20s, I had a baby.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: I breastfed in the toilets for fear of looking like I was sort of trying to look sexy.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm still not sure exactly why I was embarrassed to feed my baby.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: When I was 30, I was recommended Botox before I went on holiday to look sexier on holiday.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: When I was 35,
16:13
SPEAKER_00: I was told not to wear a vest top because women my age don't show our arms now for
16:20
SPEAKER_00: fear of bats landing on the skin below and letting all the world know our arms are
16:26
SPEAKER_00: not sexy now.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: when I was 50 I was told my sex drive would go down with my bleeding but no one
16:33
SPEAKER_00: talks about the menopause when I was 60 I was told when I was 70 I was told when I
16:39
SPEAKER_00: was 80 I was told I'm hoping this will stop but my grandma is 92 and she's on a
16:45
SPEAKER_00: diet because in our family as I've been told my entire life long the women in our
16:50
SPEAKER_00: family have bad stomachs hold it in Holly hold it in Holly
16:56
SPEAKER_00: When I'm dead I'm hoping I can stretch out in my coffin wearing what the fuck I want.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: That's when I was a teenage girl by Holly McNish.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: And I am.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's take this moment to stretch out in our lives.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Let's not wait for our coffins to relax in the peace and depth and pleasure and
17:30
SPEAKER_00: comfort that being in our bodies can bring.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: So I'm here recording this podcast.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: I haven't got any guests this week because I just wanted you all to myself.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm here snuggled up in bed with my microphone and tucked in between my knees,
17:51
SPEAKER_00: just really taking pleasure in the romance that is recording this for you,
18:02
SPEAKER_00: for all you out there that are listening.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: And let's listen.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: Just for this moment, let's listen for what our body's asking for.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Relaxing our thighs and relaxing our foreheads.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: Just letting our jaws open gently.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: Breathing it all in.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: This week, this experience has made me think about fairy tales.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: made me think about all the fairy tales that I listened to as a child that told me
18:49
SPEAKER_00: that I would marry a handsome prince and live happily ever after.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: That that was what life,
18:57
SPEAKER_00: a real life goal,
18:58
SPEAKER_00: marry a handsome prince,
19:00
SPEAKER_00: live happily ever after,
19:01
SPEAKER_00: marry a handsome prince,
19:03
SPEAKER_00: live happily ever after.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: And that somehow that was my job, that the happy ever after was my job.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: And I've been in relationships where...
19:12
SPEAKER_00: shadows come up,
19:13
SPEAKER_00: difficult times have come up and I felt like it was my job to make everything fine,
19:18
SPEAKER_00: to make everything happy,
19:20
SPEAKER_00: to keep everything sweet.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: And then I've really rebelled against that and I haven't been in a relationship for
19:31
SPEAKER_00: a long time and I've stopped telling those kinds of stories.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: I've stopped telling those stories where
19:39
SPEAKER_00: The princess needs saving.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: Where the prince comes in,
19:45
SPEAKER_00: sees the young princess,
19:48
SPEAKER_00: falls immediately in love with her and wants to marry her.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: But I know that these stories, they're there to share an older kind of wisdom for us.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: They're there to share a place that is teaching us
20:08
SPEAKER_00: the balance on the inside.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: They're like a whole entire map for ourselves.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: So these stories, they teach us about the masculine inside us, the yang place.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Growing strong enough to hold the feminine.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like my yang place is strong and it kind of holds off the outside world.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: It holds off the hurt and the pain and the connection and all of those things,
20:37
SPEAKER_00: you know,
20:38
SPEAKER_00: it's the brick wall.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: And I'm wondering how to turn that protection inward to create a space so that
20:50
SPEAKER_00: there's a flourishing and a safety for the tender place on the inside,
20:57
SPEAKER_00: just like the beating of the bounds,
21:00
SPEAKER_00: the beating of the boundaries did at dance camp.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: It created a safe container.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: So I was thinking about the stories that might create a safe container,
21:13
SPEAKER_00: that might be about creating a safe container for us.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to tell this story and I'm going to talk about it afterwards.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: That was a request from Tess that I talked about the deeper meaning of the stories afterwards.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: And so I am going to do that.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: But for now, let's open the portal of this story with the ancient words, the magic words.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Once upon a time, there was a queen and there was a king.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: And they were overjoyed to find that they were having a baby.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: And when the baby was born,
21:54
SPEAKER_00: they wanted to call all the elements from all the directions,
21:59
SPEAKER_00: all the magic,
22:01
SPEAKER_00: everything that they possibly could to protect and bless their child.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: And they didn't want anything bad to happen to this child.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: And so the first thing they did was go and tell the bees.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: There's a baby that's been born.
22:20
There's a new baby that's been born.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: And then they called for the fairies and the elementals,
22:28
SPEAKER_00: the fey folk and the pixie folk,
22:31
SPEAKER_00: the leprechauns and the unicorns,
22:33
SPEAKER_00: all the fairy people.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: And they gathered and each one gave a blessing to that child, to that place.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: and it looked as though the morning would be honey-filled,
22:50
SPEAKER_00: that their darling child was going to have a perfect life,
22:54
SPEAKER_00: a blessed life,
22:55
SPEAKER_00: a wondrous life.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: Until...
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Bum, bum, bum.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: In she came, furious and dark, bitter and spiky, deep and rich.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: I didn't get an invite, she said, and they looked straight into the eyes of the 13th fairy.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: Well, well, well, the king blustered.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: He hadn't invited her because she can be difficult, you know, and
23:26
SPEAKER_00: He just wanted sweetness for his little girl.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: He just wanted love for his little girl.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: The queen said she didn't really want any of these dark places to be known to her daughter.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: She just wanted her daughter to have a charmed life.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Well.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: said the 13th fairy.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: I am just in time, it seems, to give you my gift and here it is.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: And she pointed her finger at the tiny baby who was cooing and gurgling in the cradle.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: She said, yes, you'll have a charmed life.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you'll have a sweet life.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you'll have an innocent life.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: But when?
24:09
SPEAKER_00: You're 16.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: You are going to prick your finger on a spinning wheel and you will fall asleep forever.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: You will die.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: And there was great consternation, fear around, and she went off with a great whoosh and a cackle.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: And the fairies, they all got together to see how they could mend this spell.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: And they tried all different kinds of magic.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: And they pulled the sentence, you will fall asleep.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: And they managed to, we've done our best, they said.
24:48
SPEAKER_00: We've done our very best.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: She won't die, but she'll just sleep forever.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: She'll just sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: I can't bear it, said the king and queen.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: I can't bear the pain.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: I can't bear the pain.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: And they said, we'll put a spell on the whole castle.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: So whilst the princess sleeps, you will sleep also.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: And so the girl, she grew from baby to toddler to child and everything was exquisite.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: She had the best of everything.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: She was beautifully looked after and she had the freedom of the gardens and the
25:26
SPEAKER_00: palace and she loved to chase butterflies and she loved to play in the mud and she
25:32
SPEAKER_00: laughed and laughed and laughed and she loved to dance and dance.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: She got so much witnessing and so much heart love.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: But there was this sense that it wouldn't last.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: There was this sense,
25:46
SPEAKER_00: this shadow of foreboding,
25:48
SPEAKER_00: of an ache when the king and queen looked at her,
25:52
SPEAKER_00: that at some point something would change.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: But they hoped it wouldn't and took the king to his end.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: He ordered for all of the spinning wheels in the land to be destroyed immediately.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: Every single one.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: And so it went on.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: Pleasure and ache and heart and pain and beauty and treasuring those childhood times.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: And she got bigger and bigger and older.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: And then she was 16.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: And it was the morning of her 16th birthday and the castle was still asleep.
26:33
SPEAKER_00: So she got up
26:35
SPEAKER_00: feeling so 16, feeling such a teen.
26:41
SPEAKER_00: And she wanted to just walk around in this new and exciting place, this threshold place of herself.
26:49
SPEAKER_00: And so she walked around the castle and she walked into nooks and crannies in the
26:54
SPEAKER_00: castle that she hadn't been in anymore.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: She hadn't been in before.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: And she found this
27:03
SPEAKER_00: Tiny crooked stairway that went around and around and around in spirals.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: And up and up and up she went.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: Curious to see what was at the top.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: And at the top, there was a woman with the deepest, darkest eyes and the blackest and shiniest hair.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: And she was at this contraption that the girl had never seen before.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: It was like magic.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: She was taking great tufts of wool and she was twisting them and winding them and
27:42
SPEAKER_00: pushing them around this great wheel.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: And as it span and clacked,
27:47
SPEAKER_00: thread came out the other side it was amazing wow said the girl and she watched
27:55
SPEAKER_00: enchanted as the wheels span and span and span would you like to have a go said the
28:04
SPEAKER_00: woman who was indeed the 13th fairy I would love to she said and she sat down on
28:13
SPEAKER_00: the little stool and she leaned up ow
28:20
SPEAKER_00: And she pricked her finger on a spinning wheel.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: And she looked at her finger and the blood trickled down.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: And for a moment she was fascinated by seeing for the first time her own blood.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: And she started feeling a little bit woozy, a little bit weird.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: A heavy, heavy feeling came over her and she lay down.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: She fell fast, fast, fast asleep.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: And the king and the queen who were just getting up, they started to feel the same sort of heaviness.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: And their friend asleep too.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: And that heaviness went around the castle,
29:19
SPEAKER_00: to the pages and the servants,
29:21
SPEAKER_00: to the lords and the ladies,
29:24
SPEAKER_00: to the cooks and the cleaners,
29:27
SPEAKER_00: to the animals.
29:30
SPEAKER_00: Even the birds tweeting in the trees outside fell asleep.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: A deep sleep, a long sleep, a hundred year sleep.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: And then one day,
29:53
SPEAKER_00: a young boy,
29:54
SPEAKER_00: a becoming man,
29:59
SPEAKER_00: happened to be walking close by and he saw the thorns that had grown up all around
30:07
SPEAKER_00: the castle.
30:09
SPEAKER_00: And he was curious about what was inside.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: And carefully he tried to push his way through the brambles but they scratched and
30:22
SPEAKER_00: they tore at him and in some places he had to hack his way.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes he almost gave up and he sat with the thorns.
30:37
SPEAKER_00: And he sat with the thorns for long enough.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: that he could see a way through.
30:43
SPEAKER_00: And he found indeed that every time he tried to hack and push and shove, the brambles got thicker.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: But when he believed he could get through,
30:58
SPEAKER_00: when he saw his way through,
31:00
SPEAKER_00: the way seemed to open a little for him.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: And it took him a long time.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: And he did have to push and shove at times.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: And he did give up almost at times, but he pushed his way through and he kept on going through.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: Until suddenly he opened upon this castle, this untouched bit of magic.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: And he pushed the door open and called.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: There was nothing except his own cough of dust.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: What was this place?
31:41
SPEAKER_00: Everyone was asleep but all over them was dust.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: He looked around, in every room, in every door, fascinated, like a world he'd never been in before.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: Then he found her, asleep by the spinning wheel.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: he found her asleep by the spinning wheel.
32:19
SPEAKER_00: And he sat for a while.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: He saw the dried blood on her finger.
32:29
SPEAKER_00: And he brought his presence.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: And he brought his holding.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: He brought his fire
32:43
SPEAKER_00: And he brought his movement.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: He brought his pure warrior energy, his true hero spirit.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: He brought his tender heart.
32:57
SPEAKER_00: And he couldn't bear to see her crumpled on the floor like that.
33:00
SPEAKER_00: So he lifted her and he carried her down those winding, winding staircases.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: And there were times where he had to put his hand over her head to protect her head.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: And there were times when he had to tuck her feet in to protect her feet.
33:16
SPEAKER_00: And he found a bed and he lay, lay her down.
33:27
SPEAKER_00: And as he lay her on the bed and he opened the curtain,
33:34
SPEAKER_00: shaking the dust and the sun came through and the sun came through the window and
33:39
SPEAKER_00: it shone on her face and he could see how the sun shining on her face seemed to
33:44
SPEAKER_00: bring colour to her.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: So he opened up the windows and the breeze came in and he saw the breeze just
33:53
SPEAKER_00: moving her hair very slightly.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: And he knew that it had been a long time since she had drunk.
34:04
SPEAKER_00: So he got his bottle that he'd filled from a well on his walk.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: And he just put tiny drops of water on her lips.
34:17
SPEAKER_00: And he held fast the desire to kiss her.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: And he looked at her again and she seemed to have life in her, more life in her.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: And he knew then what he needed to do and he picked her up again and he took her out.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: He took her out, out of the castle.
34:40
SPEAKER_00: He took her out of the wild and manicured grounds and he took her to the woods.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: And he lay her down on the forest floor.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: And that's when the magic began to happen.
35:05
SPEAKER_00: That's when the air breathed,
35:08
SPEAKER_00: breathed,
35:09
SPEAKER_00: breathed into her and she opened her eyes and she looked at him and they kissed.
35:20
SPEAKER_00: And in that way, her masculine had found her.
35:26
SPEAKER_00: And in that way, her feminine had woken up.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: And in that way, they lived happily ever after.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: And may it be like that for all of us.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: Whatever genitals we have,
35:51
SPEAKER_00: whatever our pronoun is,
35:53
SPEAKER_00: may we have a balance on the inside that means that we can be protected in our
36:01
SPEAKER_00: vulnerable places,
36:03
SPEAKER_00: that we can take action when we need to take action,
36:07
SPEAKER_00: when we can surrender and receive when it's time to surrender and receive.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: And these are the things that I know about this story.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: These are the things that I found out over the years.
36:24
SPEAKER_00: Because my first experience of this story was in a ladybird book when I was little.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: And in the ladybird book, it does have that kind of circular spinning wheel.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: But I know that the bigger kind of warp and weft...
36:48
SPEAKER_00: I can't remember what they're called but
36:54
SPEAKER_00: We call it a spinning wheel, but it isn't quite.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: But you had to be a certain height to use them.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: And you had an amazing amount of freedom.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: You were free as a child.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: But as soon as you were tall enough to use that machine, you were completely bound to it.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: That was your life then.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: And I know that in Corby, in the north of England...
37:24
SPEAKER_00: weavers actually starved when industrial machines came in.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: There was a group of weavers who believed that their spinning would always be needed,
37:37
SPEAKER_00: but it wasn't,
37:37
SPEAKER_00: and they actually starved to death.
37:40
SPEAKER_00: But that was a small case.
37:42
SPEAKER_00: But for a lot of women,
37:44
SPEAKER_00: when industrial machinery came in,
37:46
SPEAKER_00: they were throwing their spinning wheels on great fires because of the freedom that
37:51
SPEAKER_00: it was then going to afford them.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: So I know that this story, or I feel that this story, is very much a menarche story.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: And a menarche means first blood, the honouring of the first menstrual cycle, first period.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: And that the pricking of the finger and the seeing of the blood is an evocation of that,
38:20
SPEAKER_00: is a symbol of that,
38:21
SPEAKER_00: an image of that.
38:22
SPEAKER_00: A metaphor.
38:23
SPEAKER_00: A metaphor.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: And I feel in my body from how violated I felt through the cultural representation
38:43
SPEAKER_00: of women,
38:44
SPEAKER_00: through the over-sexualization,
38:46
SPEAKER_00: through the suppression,
38:47
SPEAKER_00: through all of that.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: that there's kind of a disappointing time.
38:53
SPEAKER_00: There's a fear and disappointment about seeing that first blood for me.
39:02
SPEAKER_00: it wasn't,
39:03
SPEAKER_00: and it's amazing to see now people's first moons being celebrated and,
39:09
SPEAKER_00: and the honoring of,
39:11
SPEAKER_00: um,
39:11
SPEAKER_00: of young women at the moment,
39:13
SPEAKER_00: it's all changing,
39:14
SPEAKER_00: but certainly when I was young in Essex and I saw my first blood,
39:20
SPEAKER_00: I was frightened and I was disappointed that my life was going to become the life
39:29
SPEAKER_00: of a woman and,
39:30
SPEAKER_00: and that,
39:31
SPEAKER_00: um,
39:34
SPEAKER_00: women didn't have um much right or soulful creativity or voice in my world and so
39:45
SPEAKER_00: that's the part that I think that this story speaks to in me and that the part that
39:54
SPEAKER_00: just fell asleep the part of me that just kind of it's it was just safer to check
40:00
SPEAKER_00: out to fall asleep
40:04
SPEAKER_00: And so then I'm curious and I don't know what it is to wake up this place,
40:11
SPEAKER_00: to wake up the healthy lover,
40:15
SPEAKER_00: to wake up another level of woman in me.
40:21
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm working with this story at the moment and you can hear by the way that
40:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm telling it that I don't really know what this boy,
40:31
SPEAKER_00: this man,
40:31
SPEAKER_00: this,
40:32
SPEAKER_00: you know,
40:33
SPEAKER_00: this aspect,
40:33
SPEAKER_00: this yang aspect,
40:36
SPEAKER_00: how they come in.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: But I'm going to keep telling the story so that I can keep on getting more familiar
40:44
SPEAKER_00: with the way that that other aspect comes in to support the yin place to flourish.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm still here,
41:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm just taking a moment and I am going back to that dance camp field and I'm
41:12
SPEAKER_00: feeling the magic of camping in circles.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: We camp in a circle with a fire in the middle and so we become tribe and family.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: And I'm feeling that magic and I'm remembering that I'm coming back to the land at
41:29
SPEAKER_00: the end of September because I'm running a retreat there.
41:32
SPEAKER_00: And if you want to come, I'd absolutely love you to come.
41:37
SPEAKER_00: I really would.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: we're going to take the story of the Handless Maiden,
41:42
SPEAKER_00: which is another story about the cutting off of the hands of the feminine and how
41:51
SPEAKER_00: we can grow them back with our own work and initiation,
41:56
SPEAKER_00: ritual and creativity.
41:59
SPEAKER_00: So that's what we're going to be doing at the beautiful retreat centre at Pencoit, which is filling out.
42:09
SPEAKER_00: a piece of paper because you know what I'm like forget the details so it begins on
42:16
SPEAKER_00: the 27th of September it's the 27th to the 30th of September and I'll read you what
42:23
SPEAKER_00: I've written about it three nights using the story of the handless maiden to reach
42:30
SPEAKER_00: out to hidden numb forgotten and forlorn places within us
42:35
SPEAKER_00: This is a deep soul journey with the majesty and alchemy of myth as its backbone.
42:40
SPEAKER_00: We will take the story in sections,
42:43
SPEAKER_00: retelling,
42:43
SPEAKER_00: writing,
42:44
SPEAKER_00: crafting,
42:45
SPEAKER_00: sharing and conjuring our own wholeness through this ancient tale.
42:50
SPEAKER_00: Well, I couldn't have put it better myself.
42:54
SPEAKER_00: And I'm really looking forward to it.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm so ripe for some deep diving into story in that way.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: So if that talks to you,
43:02
SPEAKER_00: if you want to come and soul rewild with myth and ritual and nature,
43:07
SPEAKER_00: please come.
43:09
SPEAKER_00: Have a look on my socials.
43:13
SPEAKER_00: I should have more info up there.
43:18
SPEAKER_00: And that makes me think about...
43:21
SPEAKER_00: A Steiner teacher who was retiring once saying to me that in spring she sees
43:27
SPEAKER_00: children jumping up and in the autumn she sees children falling down.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: They play jumping up games in the spring and falling down games in the autumn.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: And she says, I've worked for many years and I've noticed that it's always been like that.
43:43
SPEAKER_00: And as I was sitting on the earth,
43:47
SPEAKER_00: at the camp I suddenly felt the subtle inward turning of the earth like like this
43:57
SPEAKER_00: whole kind of outward outward grow grow grow grow grow grow grow place of the
44:01
SPEAKER_00: summer I felt a tiny turning and it was about the same time as Lammas and Lammas is
44:08
SPEAKER_00: a celebration to celebrate the harvest of the year
44:16
SPEAKER_00: So it's interesting for me as we, you know, we're starting to harvest.
44:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm curious about what you're harvesting this year.
44:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm curious about, let's just take a scan in our lives and just see what is it?
44:31
SPEAKER_00: What are the particular riches?
44:33
SPEAKER_00: What do we really want to gather up?
44:36
SPEAKER_00: firstly for this year,
44:38
SPEAKER_00: for this moment to be grateful for,
44:40
SPEAKER_00: and also in the storehouses of our psyche,
44:44
SPEAKER_00: what's going to really enrich our winter.
44:49
SPEAKER_00: And I think for me,
44:50
SPEAKER_00: for sure,
44:51
SPEAKER_00: doing this Handless Maiden Retreat at the end of September will be an opportunity
44:56
SPEAKER_00: to put some really special things in our basket.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: so thank you for listening my dear dear ones thank you so much for listening to
45:08
SPEAKER_00: this podcast thanks for being here for me for you for us for um for the earth for
45:16
SPEAKER_00: for all and um i have set up a patreon page yeah uh yeah i think it's i do know
45:25
SPEAKER_00: it's mooney's mythic podcast or parlor
45:31
SPEAKER_00: I think it's Moony's Mythic Podcast on Patreon.
45:35
SPEAKER_00: So if you want to support this podcast by signing up and if you just think,
45:39
SPEAKER_00: oh,
45:39
SPEAKER_00: Sarah,
45:40
SPEAKER_00: her throat sounds a bit dry,
45:41
SPEAKER_00: she needs a cup of tea,
45:43
SPEAKER_00: then you can stick some money in the Patreon.
45:46
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely no pressure.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: You know, this podcast is the love of my life.
45:53
SPEAKER_00: I'll be doing it, whatever.
45:55
SPEAKER_00: I'd love to make some money out of it so that I can really dedicate my time to it.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, if you don't have the means, this podcast will always be available to you.
46:12
SPEAKER_00: I hope that it's good company.
46:14
SPEAKER_00: I hope that wherever you are, you're really able to feel your own energy
46:20
SPEAKER_00: um inner specialness and um i will catch up with you next week lots of love