Latest / Mental Health and the Mission of the Church / Soul Toxins Pt 7
Transcript
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody.
- 0:10SPEAKER_00: I uh not sure if my phone's working right.
- 0:13SPEAKER_00: Something just gave me a signal, so I hope it is.
- 0:17SPEAKER_00: But wanted to talk to you today about we've been talking about mind shift mojo.
- 0:22SPEAKER_00: You know, I just come up with weird ways of saying things.
- 0:25SPEAKER_00: And uh we started off the year talking about toxins, just things that uh, you know, of course, we normally think of that in terms of our body, but things that get in our system and they build up over time, and that's the key thought.
- 0:41SPEAKER_00: It isn't the thing itself necessarily, but it's the fact that they build up over time, and it's the dosage, the ratio, the amount that makes them toxic.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, the the toxins may not kill you, but they just make life harder.
- 1:02SPEAKER_00: They uh they they inhibit the proper functioning of your organs and systems and all that.
- 1:08SPEAKER_00: They uh they just make things not work as well as they're meant to work.
- 1:13SPEAKER_00: And um, so what I want to talk to you about today is, you know, one of the things I love about speaking in different churches or anywhere is that you study and think and and all that good stuff.
- 1:26SPEAKER_00: Well, I just ran into something recently that I really have been chewing on and watching in myself and others.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: And um, let me read Romans 2, verse 1.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: Romans 2, verse 1.
- 1:40SPEAKER_00: Therefore, you have no excuse.
- 1:42SPEAKER_00: Now, therefore, obviously you want to look at what comes before that.
- 1:46SPEAKER_00: Don't have time to do all that, but you can look at that later if you want.
- 1:49SPEAKER_00: But therefore, you have no excuse, every one of you who passes judgment.
- 1:54SPEAKER_00: In other words, it's talking about judging other people.
- 1:58SPEAKER_00: Uh you have no excuse, every one of you passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself.
- 2:06SPEAKER_00: Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
- 2:08SPEAKER_00: So when I judge somebody else, I condemn myself.
- 2:12SPEAKER_00: For you who judge practice the same things.
- 2:16SPEAKER_00: Uh to be honest with you, this is a verse that God used in the last 12 to 18 months to uh how many of you know what I mean when I say to harass me?
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: I mean God harassed me, uh and I mean it in a loving uh way, and he has the right to anything he wants, quite honestly.
- 2:34SPEAKER_00: Like I need to say that, right?
- 2:36SPEAKER_00: But um what I want to take that and in and say with it is um today's toxin, if you will, is assigning motive to other people's behavior.
- 2:50SPEAKER_00: Assigning a motive to it.
- 2:52SPEAKER_00: In other words, somebody hurts you, somebody um you know doesn't respond in a way you think they should, somebody handles a situation unfairly, in your opinion, and you assign a motive to it.
- 3:04SPEAKER_00: Uh the word motive means um the reason, the reason a person acts in a certain way, the reason a person does certain things, the goal or object of a person's actions.
- 3:22SPEAKER_00: In other words, you could say this way assigning motive is is the why of what they do or don't do.
- 3:31SPEAKER_00: So, you know, your spouse is a great place to play with this.
- 3:36SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, your your spouse doesn't take out the trash.
- 3:41SPEAKER_00: Uh you assign a motive to it.
- 3:44SPEAKER_00: Well, they know how important that is to me, and they're just being blah blah blah, and you assign a motive.
- 3:51SPEAKER_00: Well, what it it what that that does something to you.
- 3:56SPEAKER_00: And over time, assigning a motive is a form of judgment.
- 4:00SPEAKER_00: You're judging that other person, and over time, that builds toxicity in your soul toward that person.
- 4:11SPEAKER_00: It could be at work, it could be uh, you know, you watch somebody else get promoted, or you watch uh relationships kind of shift around you, and you assign motives, you assign obviously most of the time not good ones.
- 4:28SPEAKER_00: And uh I want to talk to you about what that allows or creates in you.
- 4:33SPEAKER_00: When you assign a motive to another person's behavior, here's what it does: it allows you, when when I explain to myself why I think you did something, it it justifies, rationalizes my reactions and my negative emotions toward that person.
- 4:54SPEAKER_00: If you do XYZ and uh I say to myself, well, they they just did that because you know they're selfish or they're uh you know, they just don't think anybody but themselves, and and they're just trying to find the most expedient way to get what they want, and they'll walk all over whoever they have to to get there.
- 5:13SPEAKER_00: What I just did is I'm I'm justifying and rationalizing my reaction to that person, my my negative emotions toward that person.
- 5:24SPEAKER_00: And they feel it's kind of a way that I say to myself, well, you you're all right to feel that way because this is their motive in doing that.
- 5:35SPEAKER_00: And what it does is it shuts down, it shuts down compassion, it shuts down empathy, and here's an interesting one it shuts down curiosity.
- 5:46SPEAKER_00: If I judge you by assigning a motive to your action, what I do is I stop thinking about, I stop listening to God and whatever about the real reason why you did what you did.
- 6:03SPEAKER_00: Because let's face it, guys, how in the world can I know for sure why you do what you do?
- 6:09SPEAKER_00: Let's be real, man.
- 6:10SPEAKER_00: I don't even know why I do what I do.
- 6:13SPEAKER_00: So when you assign a motive, you separate yourself from that other person or situation.
- 6:19SPEAKER_00: And listen to this now, you make yourself an adversary instead of an ally.
- 6:23SPEAKER_00: You make yourself part of the problem instead of part of the solution.
- 6:29SPEAKER_00: And at the very least, it shows this building toxicity in the relationship that slowly but surely blinds you to their good qualities, blinds you to the reasons you built the friendship, took the job, married the person, and uh it can actually lay the groundwork and build the the case for resentment toward that other person.
- 6:55SPEAKER_00: So, what happens if we work on not assigning motive?
- 7:00SPEAKER_00: Well, it makes us responsible, it makes me take responsibility and ownership for my reactions and my negative emotions.
- 7:10SPEAKER_00: In other words, no matter what you do, I'm responsible for how I react.
- 7:16SPEAKER_00: I'm responsible for what I feel towards you, and I am to feel toward you.
- 7:20SPEAKER_00: I am required, I'm I'm challenged to feel toward you what God feels towards you.
- 7:26SPEAKER_00: So for me to do that, I can't pass judgment, I can't assign a motive to you.
- 7:31SPEAKER_00: I have to be humble enough to say, you know, I don't know why he or she did that.
- 7:37SPEAKER_00: And you know what, God, I'd love for you to give me insight.
- 7:40SPEAKER_00: Why?
- 7:41SPEAKER_00: I'd really like to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
- 7:45SPEAKER_00: And when you assign motive, you you kind of shut down discovery, and you just kind of like, this is it, this is the way it is.
- 7:56SPEAKER_00: When you don't assign motive, it keeps your heart open and curious toward that person or situation.
- 8:02SPEAKER_00: And you can begin to see, oh, wait a minute, that's why they did that.
- 8:09SPEAKER_00: Maybe you hear their story and you run into something from earlier in their life and it triggers in you.
- 8:16SPEAKER_00: That might be why they act uh inappropriately, disproportionately in this kind of a situation.
- 8:24SPEAKER_00: And again, not assigning motives makes you part of the solution, not part of the problem.
- 8:32SPEAKER_00: Trying to stick closer to the eight minutes, love you guys, and uh, I will see you next week.