Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 52 - How In 2026: Walking To The Beat Of Your Own Drum?

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Episode 52 - How In 2026: Walking To The Beat Of Your Own Drum? · You Minding Your Own Business

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello everybody. Welcome to you Minding your Own Business.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, Goddess Austion Mary. I'm gonna thank you
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: guys for joining me for this episode. If you guys
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: like the commentary you want to hear more, please go
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: to sprinktle dot com for a slash you Minding my
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: own your Own Business. Or you can go to my
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: podcast under my name A s H A M A
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: R I A M A and you will see all
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: of my podcasts. You can also hear my podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Google, iHeartRadio, Amazon,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and multiple other streaming companies. A little bit about me,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I'm all about helping people on their paths and their
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: journeys to a new and better you through self discovery.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: This particular podcast is all about helping people through their
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: journey through Minding your Own Business. A lot of people
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: do not know how to mind their own business and
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: worry about themselves instead of worrying about everybody else. It's
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: just like all these celebrities that everybody seemed to be
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: so obsessed with, and they just can't seem to mind
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: their own business. For some reason, people think that other
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: people's lives are better than theirs, or they have to
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: look like somebody else, at like somebody else, think like
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: somebody else, and be somebody else in order to be
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: the best version of themselves. Give me one second, job
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: one thing that.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I need to do, so bear with me. Second, I'm
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: just going to send somebody message. Behold on, so give
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: me one second. I just wanted to send this to somebody. Okay,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: let's get into it now. If you want to be
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: a guest on my podcast, or you want to send
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: me something as far as products and services, wanted me
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: to promote any products and services, or just sending me
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: letters saying how this podcast has helped you through your
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: journeys of healing and recovery and addiction. You can email
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: me at a s H dot M A r I
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: A M A zero one at gmail dot com.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: This's a s H A dot M A r I
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: A M A zero one at gmail dot com. Today's
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: topic of minding your own business. We are gonna talk
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: about the fact that in twenty twenty six, we are
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: gonna be focusing on ourselves. We're not gonna be worrying
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: about celebrities. We're not gonna worry about everybody else. We
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: ain't gonna be Captain Sableholes, Bill de Bear's, Bill Dolls,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: sat fillers and people pleasers. We are going to focus
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: on ourselves. Twenty twenty six is about the forty eight
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: laws of healing and recovery, forty eight laws of overcoming
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: addiction and trauma and abuse. We are going to let
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: go of the past completely and we're gonna move forward
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: to something bigger and better. You're not gonna be worried
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: about your family. You're not gonna be taking care of
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: your family, especially the people that don't support you. You
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: are going to not worry about whether you're single, whether
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: you're in a relationship, whether somebody want to be with you,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: whether they don't, whether your family accepts you, whether they don't,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: whether you get the job whether you don't. You are
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: going to focus on yourself this year. This year is
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: a journey of healing and recovering. And when I tell
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: you you are going to completely let it go, you
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: are going to let go of your past. You're gonna
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: let go of what was. You're gonna forgive those who
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: have wronged you, and you're gonna make mens to those
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: who you have wronged. And you are going to repent
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: for your wrongs, point blame period. Y'all. Go stop thinking
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: that other people are better than you because they look
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: better than you, act better than you, think better than you.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Were Gonna stop that in twenty twenty six. Nobody is
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: gonna use your flaws and imperfections, your disabilities, any mistakes
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: that you've made in your past, or any disabilities that
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: you got against you as a weapon. We're not gonna
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: do this in twenty twenty six. In twenty twenty six,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: if you don't fit society standards, it's okay if you don't.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: If these people don't accept you, it is okay that
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: they don't. If nobody likes you, who cares? In twenty
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: twenty six, it is about you maintaining your inner peace
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: and tranquility, your self esteem, self worth, and self value,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: and you believing in yourself even when nobody else does.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: You respecting yourself. You not letting nobody sit here and
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: try to tell you who you are, who you supposed
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: to be, so on and so forth. We're not doing
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: that in twenty twenty six and twenty twenty six is
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: about clean, clean eating. It isn't about these temporary diets
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: cause y'all gonna get that out your head. All these
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: thirty day challenges, all these sixty day child. No, the
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: things that I'm gonna teach you are gonna be lifetime
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: things that are gonna help you do the rest of
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: your life to the day you die. Everything that I'm
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: teaching in twenty twenty six are gonna be things that's
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: gonna help you through your journeys, things that you gonna
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: have to do forever. So we're gonna get into the
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: first part of healing and recovery and addiction. Number One,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: you gotta come to the realization that you've been a
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: captain Saber oh Bill Doll see feeling the people is
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: and what you have been willing to do to be
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: love like, to appreciated, value, wanted, needed to be a
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: part of something, to be validated, to be approved of,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: to be accepted, and for somebody to know you're worth
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: and proving some of the people that never been worth
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: proving something to in the first place. Second of all,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: you also got to acknowledge to the fact that you
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: allowed people to do things to you that you did
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: not deserve because your parents did it to you. See,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of times were looking for love. And while
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: we're looking for love that we didn't get from our parents,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: we are letting people distress in the same token, for
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: those of y'all that are that have been invisible children,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: the ones that your parents don't never see you, the
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: ones you didn't live up to your parents' expectations. The
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: one that your sister is pretty in you, she's better
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: than you, she's more popular than you. The one that
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: can't do no wrong, the one that now her husband
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: got to do it nonsense or his wife gotta deal
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: with all that nonsense. I'm talking to y'all in twenty
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: twenty six, for those of y'all who are overweight, for
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: those of y'all who got flaws and imperfections, for those
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: of y'all got disabilities and made mistakes in your past.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I want you to stop thinking that all these beautiful
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: people are better than you. Because they are not better
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: than you because they look better than you, because they
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: are a society's standard of whatever weight loss is supposed
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: to be. Weight loss does not equivalate to you being healthy.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Just because you are small does not mean that you
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: are healthy. There are a lot of people that yes
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: they are physically fit, but they are mentally damaged, emotionally damaged.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: There are people that are physically fit that make some
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: of the most dumb and stupid choices I've ever seen
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: in my life. There are people that are basically in shape,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: they got HIV, full blown AIDS, STDs, and so on
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: and so forth. So just because your insight in shape
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: does not mean you're healthy. Being healthy is more than
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: just your weight size. It is a mental mentality. It
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: is every choice, every behavior, every decision, every action that
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: you do. That is what makes you healthy. What makes
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: you healthy is you making the right choices and not
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: going down these rabbit holes, chasing a rabbit down the
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: rabbit hole and ending up with the Queen of Hearts
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: talking about you went off your head. It is not
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: about going down the matrix and going down the red pill,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: and traveling down the red pill and ending up in
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: a situation that you should have never got yourself involved
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: in in the first place. The fact that y'all are
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: running around here trying to prove something. The negative people
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: that don't hont you, never gonna like you, ain't never
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: gonna accept you, and yet you keep chasing behind them anyway.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: The fact that you want to sit up here and
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: be Captain Sable hoole and save somebody that ain't gonna
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: do nothing but take the fact that you saved them,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: ain't gonna pretty much turn they back on you. The
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: fact that you're being people pleasers like you're a slave
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: and trying to slave for all these crazy people. Is
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: it worth it now? As a healing and recovery coach,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: This ain't no I'm gonna bsu. This ain't no me
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: gonna tell you what you want to hear, because I'm
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: not doing that. You gonna take accountability for what you will,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: for what you allow people to do to you. The
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: only people that are exempt to that is your parents
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: because you didn't have a choice in the matter on
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: how they treated you. But everybody else is all on you.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Your parents are the only ones accepted to the rules
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: because those are your parents. And in the Bible it
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: does say honor thy mother and thy father, So your
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: parents are a whole the other entity. But everybody else
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: you don't have to accept that from You ain't got
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: to accept it from your parents. You don't have to
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: accept it after a while. Honoring your parents does not
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: mean that you have to continue letting them play your face,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: letting them put their hands on you, especially as an adult.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: As a child, there was nothing you could do about
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: it because you were a child, and you are not
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: to blame for what your parents did to you, except
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: if you were the one that were actually doing the wrong,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: meaning you were out here getting in trouble, then that's
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: a whole another conversation. But as far as you and
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: other people, people that the same age as you, people
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: that are basically your dating friends, you ain't gotta put
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: up with that. People you work with, you ain't got
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: to put up with none of that. You don't have
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: to accept abuse from people that basically claim to love you.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: You ain't got to keep going back to somebody that
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: peerty puts their hands on you. You don't have to
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: do that. So when it comes to healing and recovery,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: it is about you got to see the damage that
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: has been done to you, and you have to acknowledge it,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: and you got to accept it. You got to accept
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: the fact that these things have happened. You got to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: accept the emotions that come with that, and you're gonna
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: have to learn from it and you're gonna have to
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: grow from it and you're gonna have to elevate and
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have to mature from it. You're gonna have to.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You ain't got a choice of the matter. Like I said,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: nobody deserves to go through abuse from somebody that is
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: the same age as you. Nobody deserves to be essayed
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: or go through any type of lesstation that's beyond their control.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, like I said,
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: you also got to be able to understand that healing
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: and recovery is about finding your way back to the
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: higher power. It's about letting the higher power lead your life,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: guide your life, regardless of what religion, whatever, spirituality, whatever
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: you know you believe in. So healing and recovery is
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: a lifestyle. Healing and recovery is something you do every day.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Healing and recovery is about you being the best version
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: of yourself. Healing and recovery is you growing, evolving, elevating,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: and maturing despite the society that you're in. You don't
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: let society stop you from being the best version of yourself,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: stopping you from growing, evolving, or elevating. So why are
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: you allowing people to stop you from your growth? If
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: people make assumptions about you, So what who cares? At
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: the end of the day. The minute that somebody says
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: something negative, that's not your person. The minute they tell
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: you no, you accept it and say okay, and that
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: is it. If you are chosen and yet not being accepted,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: then that ain't where you need to be either. So
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: even though you may feel that you're supposed to be
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: with this person, that person, or all these other people,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: that does not mean you're meant to be there. Just
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: because you like somebody doesn't mean that person likes you back.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: That is not your person at all. So even though
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: you want to believe that these are your people, they
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: ain't and they're never going to be so at the
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: end of the day, accepting things for what they are
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: and not what you want them to be is gonna
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: be very important in this journey of healing and recovery.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Also being able to build your self esteem, self worth,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: self value, self respect, your confidence, and believing in yourself
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: even when no one else does. Understanding that when one
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: door closes, another one will open. Another. Thing that you're
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: gonna have to do is stop chasing behind people and
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: trying to chase behind situations that you should be chasing
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: behind in the first place. So at the end of
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: the day, a lot of people are sitting up here
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: trying to get somebody to love you because you don't
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: want to be alone. And yet and still you're still alone.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: When somebody says they want friends with benefits, When somebody
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: says they're not attracted to you, that is not your person.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: When somebody put their hands on you, that is not
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: your person. If anything is going to deter you from
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: your goals, your dreams, and whatever it is that you
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: are trying to achieve, please leave it where it is.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Do not go trying to lower yourself to build other
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: people up. Jesus never did, God never did. So why
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: are you? Why are you lowering yourself because you want
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: to be loved at back? Another thing? Research research research
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: validate that what people are telling you is true. Understand
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: that when it comes to conversations, there is no right
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: or wrong. There is understanding, empathy and sympathy. The only
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: time something is wrong is when you act on it,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: when you behave on it, when you react to it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Understand that what you do not only impacts yourself, but
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: impacts others. The fact that people cannot accept things for
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: what they are. Understand that when you open Pandora's box,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: you better be able to take everything that come with it.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Everything that come with it. When it comes to how
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: you deal with people, it is chest not checkers. Stop
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: sitting up here thinking that you can battle people on
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: your own. Understand that you are a beautiful person. You
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: are a great person, regardless of what anybody thinks. People
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: are gonna underestimate you. People gonna think whatever they gonna think.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Let them think it, because you know what they say
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: about assumptions. Let me give you a good example. I
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: had to take some time since twenty seventeen to heal.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I was really, really sick. I couldn't walk in twenty fifteen.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I could not feel my arms and legs. In twenty
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: sixteen was one of the most trying, traumatizing situations of
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: my life. Seeing a hospital doctor's telling me they can't
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: find what's wrong, and then going to a hospital ten
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: hours later for them to tell me I've been misdiagnosed,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: a doctor giving me the wrong medications in me almost dying,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: and God telling me to go to sleep, Me giving
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: my body to all these men that weren't even worth
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: my time and weren't even worth my enagery men that
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: were still being with other women, and yet I'm the
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: person that was being faithful. One thing about me, I've
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: never been unfaithful a day in my life. I don't
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: believe in being unfaithful. I don't believe in that even
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: if a man is, I'm not going to I'm just
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: not that way. But at the same time, you can't
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: make somebody love you that don't. And when I went
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: through my healing journ, I learned that I went selivan
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: not because I wanted to. I had to. The last
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: person I had sex would almost died. I was having
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: sex with this person, and I don't know what it was.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden, there was this energy that just
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: went up to my chest and I couldn't breathe. I
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: literally had to sit up, and I said that day,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I was done. I was done after that, because what
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: people don't understand is energy gets exchanged in multiple different ways,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: and there are a lot of people that die due
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: to having sex and having a heart attack. To like
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: in the color of Purple, when Celi said, how do
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: her daddy die on top of me? It happens. So
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I didn't stop having sex because I just chose to.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I did it because number one, the energy that came
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: from it, and the fact that I got tired of
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: friends with benefits where it wasn't evenly yoked. So let
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: me give you an example of my real life. The
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: majority of my relationships were friends with benefits, the majority
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: of them, and it was like, what are the rules,
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: And they'll say, well, when if I call you, you'll
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: come over. But then when I called them and asked
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: them could they come over, it was always some excuse.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: If I saw them in the mall somewhere and they
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: was some female, they're up there panicking. One of my
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: real life situations that really taught me something was this
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: one situation where I was in dating somebody in the military,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: and I remember that we agreed that we were going
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: to be friends with benefits, and I distinctly remember that
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: he told me he wanted me to come by, but
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: told me he had to wait because his homeboy was
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: going through a situation. So I said, okay. So then
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I waited, cause again I'm not gonna be messing around
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: with multiple people. So then I decided to go up
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: there just to check on him, because I never heard
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: from him, So I went up there, got out the car,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: got ready to go to the barracks, and his homeboy
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: came downstairs with three women. Now, mind you, I'm somebody
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: that can put two and two together and figure out four.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Seeing these three females, I'm just sitting there like, this
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: is why you didn't call. Well, I ain't saying nothing.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: But when the guy saw me, he decided to go
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: and say, oh, s hi, t on crustma moment. So
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: he looks at me, so he stops. The girl start laughing.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I guess I thought I was his girlfriend. So I
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: ain't say nothing. I just kept on walking. I looked
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: on both sides of me, and then I kept on walking.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Got walked right past him. He said, he's upstairs. I
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: didn't say nothing, mind you, didn't say two words, just
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: kept her hum went upstairs, knocked on the door. He
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: didn't answer. So then I asked. There was a guy
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: sitting outside with some wine. He just so happened to
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: me from France, and so he asked him because I
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: use his phone, Because back then we didn't have cell
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: phones like that. We had pagers, and cell phones weren't
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: really a big thing at the time. So I used
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: his phone. He didn't answer, so me and the guy
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: are talking. By the time me and this guy started talking,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: this man told me every single solitary bits of this
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: man's business. How this man had multiple women going in
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: and out of his apartment at the barracks, and he
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: asked me, was out his girlfriend? I said, no, I'm
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: not his girlfriend. I don't care what he does with him,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: and I have an agreement. So homeboy finally comes upstairs
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: seize me talking to the next door nable, and he says,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: you ready to go in there? So I go in there.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: I put my hand under the blanket and realize he's naked,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: So I already knew what happened. So I'm just standing
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: there tilting my head thinking so that I threw the
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: pool over his head told him to wake up. He
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: was like, what are you doing here? What do you mean?
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: What am I doing here? I'm here because you told
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: me that you were supposed to call me when you
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: wanted me to come by, and you didn't. I could
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: have been doing something else, I could have been getting
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: into something else, but you decided you didn't take this
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: to even the most consideration to even call me and
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: tell me not to come over, he talking about I'm sorry, sorry,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: it's not gonna cut it. The one thing you not
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: gonna do in this situation as friends with benefits is
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: sit there and have me sitting there on hold. If
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: you can't even have the DC to call me to
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: even say you don't want me to come, I could
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: be doing something else. Cause the one thing I'm not
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: gonna do is be having sex with two different dudes
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: at the same time. We're not doing that. I'm not
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: going to do that. I don't even believe in that.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: And you know that what you doing has nothing to
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: do with me. But the fact that you didn't think
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: the call. You told me your homeboys in a situation
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: that he was getting caught up with his girlfriend and
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: a whole nother female. I'm concerned to a watch you
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: and I decided to come up here, and this is
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: what you do. So I said, the next time you
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: decide that you want to call me, call me when
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: you actually do want me to come up here. Until then,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: do not waste my time like that, cause I've never
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: been doing something else. And as for you, you should
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: have kept on walking when you saw me. I didn't
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: ask you nothing. I just got out the car. You
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: gave it a way that y'all were in here doing.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I'll call these three sms four sums and all this
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: other nonsense that Joab went on that ain't got nothing
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: to do with me. But what I learned from that
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: is that this swinging and polygamy and all these things
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: do not benefit women at all. And they don't. Females
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: think that you have the upper hand. No you don't,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: they do. The men have the upper hands because you've
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: given your body to a man and taking the risk
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: of getting pregnant. You the one up here sitting at
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: home while this man is with other females. Do you
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: think he cares that you with a whole another dude.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: The only thing that's gonna happen is the minute that
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: you messing around with another dude, he's cutting you off
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: and is now For some of these men, they don't
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: care whether you got a man or not. They still
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: get to sleep with you. But women think they're in control.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Oh no, you ain't. They are. They're in control. Why
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: because you don't even know your sexuality the way you
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: supposed to. When I started studying common suture, it forever
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: changed my life. It forever changed my life or what
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: sex was? Now, why is this important? If I wouldn't
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: have learned from outside of the United States, I'd be
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: just let the rest of y'all. I would be sitting
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: up if stuck on stupid probably had four or five kids,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: only had one, and only because the condom broke, not
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: well it got stuck, not because I was irresponsible. The
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: one thing I was not gonna do is be irresponsible.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I do not take condoms off unless I was trying
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: to have back. Well, unfortunately only had one. Well no,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: i'm'a say. I say fortunately I only had one cause
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I ain't want no more bears. But anyway, when I
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: look back at everything that has happened, now, I mind
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: my own business. Now I walk to be my own drum. Now,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I don't care whether men like me find me attractive.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I don't care. I'll keep my skills to myself. I
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: just want people to understand that you can understand make
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: me or you want to. You can think I'm unattractive
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: or you want to. You can think whatever you want to.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I really don't care, because here's the thing, It's not
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: about me having ten thousand people, one hundred thousand people
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: that's not what it's about for me. It's about people
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: that actually want to heal and actually want to recover,
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: people that really want to understand what sex is, really
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: want to understand how to be good at what you
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: do and what your passion is. So at the end
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: of the day, I mind is my own business. So
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: at the end, like I said in twenty twenty six,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: for me, my happiness begins and ends with me. Ain't
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: about everybody else. It's not about doing whatever bodybody else
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: is doing and worry about what everybody else got going on.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Our mind's my own business. So I want people to
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: understand that I learned a lot over these fifty one
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: years of living, and there are a lot of things
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: that just don't benefit some people. They're gonna always be
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: the halves and the have nots. It's always gonna be
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: people that always think they're better. There's always gonna be
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: people that because they have money, they think they're better.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: There are people that got money and they're still miserable.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: There are people that are married that are now miserable.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, like I said,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: this is why I questioned everything. This is why I
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: would tell the younger generations don't get married to get
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: about thirty, have your first kid about thirty seven. So,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: like I said, all of this, all these people having
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: kids at young age, having them for young age for
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: what were majority of them don't even married. So, like
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I said, well, great power come great responsibility. So instead
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: of you trying to think because you may be attracted
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: to somebody, that person may not be attracted to you.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: That person may not even want you, but yet they
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: want everything that come with you. You may be everything
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: that they wan't, but they don't want you because what
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: you look like. But again, God ain't gonna send somebody's perfect.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: God gonna send somebody's imperfect to you. He gonna send
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: you exactly what you want. You may say I want
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: somebody to look good to got money, but you didn't
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: say that they didn't have to be abusive. You tell
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: somebody you want somebody to drop their gorgeous this and
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: this and that, but they have no personality, and then
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: somebody can't be faithful. But if you don't break down
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: what you want internally, then it doesn't matter what extern
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: look like. That don't mean no person gonna do right
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: by you because you want somebody attractive because you want
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: somebody that's whatever. So all I'm saying to people is
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I get it. I understand, I really do. We all
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: want to be happy, we all want to be with
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: somebody to care about us. The question is it worth it?
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Is it really really worth it? So don't think for
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: a moment I don't get it. Don't think for a
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: moment that it's easy to mind your own business, because
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: it ain't. They're gonna be times you're gonna be somewhere
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: and you gonna see something and you just go sit
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: there and you just go look at it, and you're
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: not gonna be able to take your mind off it.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Like if you see somebody fighting in the other pucket lot,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: you may stop what you're doing just to watch that fight.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: But all that time you watch that fight, you could
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: have been in the store, got what you needed, and
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: came back out. But then when bullets start being sprayed,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: then it's a whole another conversation. You gonna wish to
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: God you was in that store. It's just like people
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: that it just don't happened. They left the store and
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: then a mass shooter comes in there and pup use everybody.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: If that person would have stopped. If that person would
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: have went back in that store, they probably would have
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: been dead. So sometimes it's not always about sitting and
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: trying to see what's going on. And there are times
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: that people see what's going on and they don't do
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: nothing about it. So, for example, there was a girl
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: that I saw in a video that was on a
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: bus or was it a subway and she was being
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: essayed and people that stood there and didn't do nothing.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Let the girl be essayed for about an hour and
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: nobody did anything. And it was a bunch of people
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: on on there. Some people were even recording. That's the
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: crazy part about it. You quick to record a crime,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: but you won't report it. You quick to see somebody
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: go through harm, but you do nothing to stop it.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: It's just like a group of people that decide to
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: go and they decide to go and hurt a woman,
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Like there's like five dudes and they see this girl
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: and they end up saying her not one of them
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: will have a conscience and say, well, maybe I shouldn't
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: do that, maybe I need to stop it. But then
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: when they all go to jail, they all telling each other,
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: they all start telling on you know what the other
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: one did, and then they turn around going to jail
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: for twenty years to life because you committed a crime
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: and none of y'all thought that it was the wrong
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: thing to do. Okay, So at the time you should
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: be minding your business, you don't. The minute that you
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be minding your own business, you decide that now
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: you wanna mind your business. I'm confused. So at this
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: point in juncture, there are times that you do need
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: to mind your business and there are times that you
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: don't need to mind your own business. At the end
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: of the day, the fact that y'all so obsessed with
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: these celebrities, this should be the time you mind your
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: own business instead of y'all sitting up and making all
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: these billionaires money. Build something that is of your own.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: And not only that, do not sell your companies. And
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: if you do decide to get investors or shareholders, do
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: me a favor. Make sure you get something in writing
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: that you can buy back your stocks, that you can
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: buy back your shares for a fix them out. A
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: lot of y'all do not think in these contracts to
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: make sure there's a buy back. So, for example, if
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: you sell your company, right for a twenty million dollars.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Instead of doing that, why don't you do a buy back,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: meaning that the person invests in your company, you're able
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: to buy back those shares. That would be the smart
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: thing to do. Thank y'all. I appreciate y'all. So the
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: fact that y'all talking about minding your business, but yet
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: you spread in somebody else's business. Worry about somebody else
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: going to get plastic surgery because you wanna look like
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: somebody else, because you wanna fit society standards. You want
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: the James Scott Farron. I want what I want, and
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I want it now. I don't care who I hurt,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I don't care who I manipulate. I don't care who
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: I lie to. As long as I get what I want.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: That's all that matters. All that matters is is that
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: I want what I want and you gonna hand it
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: to me no matter what. So you willing to die
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: because you wanna steal something, not understanding you cannot keep
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: what you steal. If you steal something, you notice you
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: can't never keep it right, But yet people continue to steal.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: It's just like a person that keep going back to
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: domestic violence. If that person hits you one time, that
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: should have been it the minute that your child come
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: to you and tell you they boy that your boyfriend
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: been touching them. Oh, he be in jail immediately. Ain't
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: no you gonna suck it up and act like it
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: didn't happen. If somebody did something to my child or
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: bully my child, my child will not be in that school.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: My child will be pulled out immediately. There is no
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: you gonna ignore something and that like it didn't happen.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: There is no suck it up and act like it
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: didn't happen. No, it happened, and that person has every
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: right to deal with the emotions of that and the
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: person also has the right to react to it in
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: whatever way they see fits that they want and choose
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: to react to it. Why does somebody have to sit
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: there and let somebody sit there and blatantly do respect
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: them and they don't have the right to respond. Who
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: are you to make assumptions about a person when you
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: don't even know what their life is, You don't even
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: know what it's entailed. You don't have the right to
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: say because somebody's overweight that they're unhealthy. Who are you
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: to say that somebody's unhealthy because they're bigger when they
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: could just be their DNA, that they can't do anything
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: about it. Who are you to say because somebody is
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: unmarried that they're not worthy of finding law? What is
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: wrong with y'all? That is why people have low self esteem,
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: low sel, low self value, because y'all always telling somebody
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: ain't they ain't worthy. Every time somebody becomes successful, here
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: come all the people that didn't support you talking about
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: some You're gonna give me some money, you gonna take
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: care of me. You're gonna buy me. Now, I'm not
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: buying you the house. We're not buying you a house.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: You can't even pay the taxes on it. And if
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: anything happen to me and you gonna be able to
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: continue to pay tax on the else even though it's
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: payed for, man, y'all gonna go ahead. All what is
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: nonsense at this point? So when I deal with clients,
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: what I'm tryna understand is why are you worried about
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: everybody else? What have you done for yourself? You worrying
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: about going on these group trips. Take you a solo
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: trip and have you a good time. If these people
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: don't wanna go on your birthday. Just go ahead on
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: and go without leave 'em with 'em yet, and just
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: go and enjoy yourself. Why are you sitting up here
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: worrying about here everybody else? If this person got something
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: negative to say about you. Them are not your friends.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Anybody that make you do anything that goal gets the
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: higher power that make your people, anybody that's stopping you
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: from achieving your goals or whatever it is that you
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: tryna do, them are not your people. They are not
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: your people. At the end of the day, y'all jealous
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: of a bunch of females that can get any man
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: they want to. But yet these females are out here
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: having sex with multipomen So I'm I'm just trying to
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: understand that if all these females have all these choices,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: thank you, if they don't have If they have all
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: of these choices, why are they picking the wrong person?
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Why are you staying with somebody when you got fifty million,
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: eleven hundred dudes in your dim Do beautiful women have
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: to get they bodies to these men? No? Do they
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: do it anyway? Yup? And that's the point to these conversations.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: You don't have to look like everybody else, Be like
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: everybody else, think like everybody's, act like everybody else. You
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: are an individual and your people are not people that
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: you got to go chase behind. The one thing all
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: on to my own healing is that as a godly person,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: I don't have to chase behind nobody. If men don't
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: walk me because I don't fit, society stands all, well,
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: screw you, you ain't my person anyway, God, and chase
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: behind all these females that everybody else done ran through.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Have on with that. I'll keep my cooking and all
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: my money to my son. So this is the thing
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: that I need people to understand. Just because you're chosen
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're accepted. And just because you're accepted doesn't
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: mean your chosen. Don't sit up here and hold on
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: to the negative things that people done to you and
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: hold on to the hate. Let me give you a
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: recommendation which you thinking should do. First of all, when
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: you first find out somebody cheating, do not confront the person.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Just don't even do it. This is me now, the
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: old version of me as a type of person. Then
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: i'm'a i'm'a cry, and I'm gonna break down but when
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: I get down crying, I'm going to war. I am
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: the type of person that can break a prenup. I'm
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: the type of person that when I tell you I'm
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: gonna break everything. When I tell you I'm going to
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: destroy everything, i'm'a i'm'a destroy off. When I tell you
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: i'm'a leave you what you came with, i'm'a leave you
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: what you came with. I am the one that would
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: leave with just my name. The reason I'm independent is
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: because if I break up with somebody, I'm always gonna
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: have a safety neck. I'm always gonna have a safety neck.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: I've had the rug pulled from up under me. I
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: will never let that happen again. When it comes to
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: a man, it just is not gonna happen like that.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Your independence is not because of the reasons you think.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: Your independence is your safety net. You being independent, you
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: making money, you having a safety net. You don't never
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: give up your safety net. You never know when you
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: might have to go back to it. And that's the problem.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Most people don't have a safety net. That's why you
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: have so many homeless people. That's why you have so
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: many people that's going for man. The man, the man,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: the man, the man. Golden children, They ain't nothing but
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: golden children whose parents have always been there. And then
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: when their parents die, they depending on you to take
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: care of their friends, they significant others. They always want
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: somebody else to take care of them, somebody always paying
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: their bills, somebody always being captain sable hoole and trying
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: to save somebody. Why are you saving people that you can't,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: that don't want to be saved. In the immortal words
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: of Jacob, don't save them if they don't want to
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: be saved. Stop tryna think if I do all these things,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: he's gonna love me. If he was gonna love you,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: It shouldn't matter whether you do these things or not.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: He gonna love you anyway. He gonna love you at
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: your best. He gonna love you at your worse. She
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: gonna love you at your best, She gonna love you
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: at your worst. If a person can't love you for
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: who you are at the time, but only loves you
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: when you become the person that you are becoming, that
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: ain't your beep They were not your beeple. If they
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: won't there when you were in the trenches, If they
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: won't there when you were broke. If they won't there
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: when you first started your project, your tech project or
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: whatever it is that you were doing, and whatever business
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: that you were building, what at when you were out there,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: tryna act If they was not there and they didn't
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: help you, then made the people you wanna keep either
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: leave them when they leave people that ain't worth you.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: That is how healing works. Healing and recovery is all
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: about a lifestyle that you're gonna do the rest of
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: your life. There is no thirty eight diets. There is
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: no temporary fixes. Its either going to be a permanent
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: fix or not at all. So all it is thirty
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: days of losing weight. What happens after them thirty days
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: is this person gonna teach you how to maintain losing weight.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Which is why so many people die from the biggest loser.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: When all them people are losing weight the way they
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: were losing weight, I knew something was wrong, and I
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: knew something about it wasn't right. Let me break down
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: the correct way of losing weight. I just want people
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: to understand. The correct way of losing weight is as followed.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Number one, you gotta change your mindset anytime before you
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: do anything that's gonna make you a new version of
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: yourself in any way. It safe from a fashion, your
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: mind frame needs to be in point. You need to
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: make sure that you can handle whatever it is that
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: you get ready to do and maintain it. So even
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: though yes, you may lose sixty pounds high million pounds,
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: are you gonna be at to maintainer the rest of
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: your life. So whatever you choose to do, you gotta
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: be at a maintainer. So the first thing that you
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: have to do is you gotta start with being disciplined,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: and that is something you have to train yourself to do.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: So the first thing you have to do is deal
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: with your trauma. Cause some people have emotional eating. That's
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: the first thing. Second thing is you need to go
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: to the doctor and get tests to find out if
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: it's hernias, fibroids, thyroids, if it's anything like that. That's
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: the second thing you need to do. Or do you
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: have a food addiction, whether it's bolimia and orexia, do
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: you have a food addiction. Once you find that out,
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: then that is how you start. Exercise is not gonna
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: do you no good. If you got an eating disorder,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: it's not gonna do no good If you got fibroids,
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: thyroids and you have hernia issues or a kidney or
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: l whatever. So first of all, you need to make
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: sure that in every other aspect that you health it.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: Once you figured that out, then you know, okay, I
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: start with a full part of it. Whether it's food addiction,
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: if it's something with your kidneys, something with your lungs,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: then that's when you start saying, Okay, we need to
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: have surgery, we need to get we need to get
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: a colonosta. If you done whatever it is you need
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: to do. If it's a thyroid issue, then that's gonna
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: require medication or surgery. So once you find out those
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: is those issues. If it's not none of that, then
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: it could be genetic. If it's genetic, then you need
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: to figure out how to go about finding out what
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: it is that's genetically making you heavier. That could be
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: anything another thing when it comes to losing weight or
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: being healthy. Does your family have cancer in your family,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: does your family have you know, whatever medical issues that
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: you've got, those are the things you need to find out.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: The next thing you have to do is you have
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: to stop eating processed foods altogether. Now mind you there
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: are some things like, for example, brown sugar versus bleat sugar,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: spring water, alkaline water versus chlorine water, just some examples.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: So you have to start figuring out what type of
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: you know, carnivore, pestarian, vegan, find out what you're allergic to,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: and then that's another thing you gotta do, find out
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: what allergies that you got. Also understand that when you
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: go out to eat, most of that stuff is live meat,
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: lab vegetables. It ain't healthy. So you need to find
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: out whether or not wherever you go eat has fresh vegetables,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: fresh meat, stuff like that. So once you start weaning
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: yourself off of your habits, says nothing. You gotta break habits.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: You gotta break the habits that you got. So if
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: you have the habits of procrastination, the habits of eating
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: after six o'clock, you're gonna have to stop eating at six,
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: between six and six and eight, and then you're gonna
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: have to start doing like maybe an eight hour fast,
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: meaning that you don't eat anything after eight o'clock, and
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: then you stop drinking two hours before you go to
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: big sleep eight hours sleep between eight to ten hours
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: of sleep. That's very important. Sleep is something that is
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: extremely important sleep as we do a lot of people
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: eat also, so making sure you get six to eight
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: hours sleep meant seven at the l s L seven
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: at the least. Making sure that you are walking, meditation, stress, exercise.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: How is your stress level? How are things in your
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: life far as your relationships? How are things when it
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: come to your spirituality? Those things play a factor two,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: So your work life, your relationships, things like that. Ask yourself,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: how are those things going? Your self? Esteeing self or
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: for self value, self respect, confidence, believe it in yourself.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Those things matter, So how you feel about yourself definitely matters. Also,
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: finding a routine when you start working out. For every
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: one pound is thirty five hundred calories. Okay, one pound
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: is thirty five hundred calories. So let me ask stupid
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: questions because I be wanting to ask this question for
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: quite a while, but I really want to ask it.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: Why do y'all think that you go to the gym?
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: It really matters when you turn around and go eat,
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: And I don't care what you eat. Everything has calories.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: So if you if you worked off a thousand calories,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: do you know a boy? The end of the day,
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: you gonna eat a thousand calories. Remember break down why
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: people ain't losing weight. It's when you work out. You
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: don't work out in the morning unless you're going to eat. Now,
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: let me explain why you don't never work out before
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: you eat, because half of y'all don't even look at
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: where you go get something to eat, what calories is
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: in everything. Some of y'all may get an omelet and
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: you may not realize everything that's in it, so you
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: might get something that's twelve hundred calories. Well, guess what
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: you just You just put on all the weight that
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: you just lost to know. If you gonna work out,
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: then you do not need to eat pancakes, sausage, bacon,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: none of that. You need to eat eggs and bacon, yogurt, cheese, seeds.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: You might eat some, you might eat some oat meal,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: but pancakes and all of that, no matter of fact,
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: you may not even eat till your first meal may
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: not be to twelve. So if you go to gym,
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: don't eating nothing. To noon, don't eat nothing. That's how
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: you gonna learn how to fast. It's by not eating
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: nothing for six to six to twelve hours a day.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: And then eventually you go to sixteen. Like I do,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: I eat it. It's like sixteen dollars a day. And
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: then from I eat from twelve to six. Well, now
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: eating ten to six, ten to six, that's what that's
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: how I eat. And I eat twice a day. I
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: ain't even knowing that since I've been here, but that's
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: normally what I do. Now, I think mal prapping, eating
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: leaner meats, staying away from staying away from the bad
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: starches of sugars. Now, mind you, some of else don't
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: think that you don't need sugar, cause IE explain that
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: some people have very low sugar. So let's say, for example,
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: you stop eating sugar. Under your sugar is gonna go low.
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: You need sugar, but don't eat the bleached sugar. Use
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: the brown, the the cane. The cane sugar that is
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: like brown. There's a golden brown. Get that one. I'm
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: not talking about the brown sugar to one that you
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: make desserts with. There's another there's another type of brown
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: sugar that I'm talking about, So you want to use
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: that instead of reller sugar. You want to basically essentially
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: take care of yourself. You can make your own chips
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: in a fryar. Another thing that that too, that that
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: right there, eating a lot of fried foods. Eating a
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: lot of fried foods are bad for you. You don't
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: want to eat a lot of you know, fried foods.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: So it's really about exercising at night. But if you
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: want to do meditation, if you want to do stretching exercises,
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: I would recommend that and then do your workout at night,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: or if you're not gonna eat nothing until noon, as
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: long as you stay under what you worked off. But
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: you really don't know how many calories you worked off
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: because you didn't write any of it down. And if
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: you're exercising as far as like exercise videos, you don't
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: know how much weight you lost when you on the
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: machines that don't have how many calories you lost, you
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: don't know. So if you think by going to the
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: gym that you're losing as much as you think, no,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: because for every one pounds, thirty five hundred galleries, so
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: lose ten pounds. You talking about almost about fifty calories.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: You talking about you talking about fifty thousand calories ain't
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: nowhere in the world. So that's why they can't be careful. So,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: like I said, it just gotta be careful and mindful. So,
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: like I said, you do what works for you, and
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: when you do it. In the beginning, it is gonna
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: be about losing weight. But what happens when you when
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: you reach your goal? What happens then? Do you continue
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: the same thing or do you slow down? So let
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: me give you example that same For example, you do
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: lose the weight, what do you have to change? What
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: do you have to adjust to maintain it? Number one,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have to tone it. So what I recommend
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: is whatever you've done as far as food wise, keep
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: that going. So let me explain. Some people will eat
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: the same meals every day between a six, between that
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: between ten and maybe six, ten to eight, whichever one
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: it may be. They'll stop eating two hours before they
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: go to bed, well since at six to six and eight,
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: and they stop drinking two hours before they go to bed.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: So now your body is cleansing out in the morning,
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: making sure you go into the bathroom like you're supposed to,
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: making sure you have nothing clogged up, and you should
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: be good. So you need to make sure that you
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: have an exercise routine for the new version of yourself.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: So for example, you may not work as hard to
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: lose weight as somebody that is three hundred and fifty pounds,
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: but you're still going to do what's necessary to maintain it.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: So the vitamins will be the same, your vitamin A,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: vitamin B, vitamin C, so on and so forth. So
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: if you take weight management pills, the only thing that
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: may change in your life style once you achieve your
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: goal is the products may change. You may change the
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: way you work out, meaning you might start with the
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: lipical machine every week. You're trying something different, but you
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: are losing weight, so that's how you go about it.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Just gotta be mindful. So it doesn't mean that I
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: don't you know, understand the fact that it's not gonna
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: be in these journey. But somebody that's trying to lose
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: weight is not the saying that somebody that lost the
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: weight and they're maintaining it. So when you're maintaining it,
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: you're doing the same thing for the rest of your life.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: It does not change. Now, the routine might change. You
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: might have exercise equipment at home. You can always change
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: up your workout, but you may not have to work
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: out as bad as someone that has chronic pain. So,
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: for example, the way a person that has chronic pain
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: will not work out the same way as somebody that
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: doesn't happen. So it isn't just about these thirty day challenges.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: What happens after the thirty days? What are you gonna
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: do after the thirty days is up? How are you
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: gonna go about, you know, maintaining this? Just like when
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: your girlfriend and boyfriend are the same as being married, Yes,
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: it is all it is is one you're actually giving
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: this person your last name. And secondly, it doesn't matter
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: at this point. So I get it, I do, and
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: I even understand you know, But I'm just using this
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: as an example. You are an individual. Some things will
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: work for you, some things will won't. But in order
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: for you to maintain it, you gotta continue doing what
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: you've done. Now you may have to adjust. You may
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: have to try different products, meaning that even if you're
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: doing soursop, you might add that to your diet. You
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: might add a parasite cleanse. Cause it's not things you
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: have to do what every six months, every three months,
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: that's different. But the products you may use you may
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: have to change. Why because your body does get used
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: to it. It does get used to it, So you
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: may have to try something a little bit different when
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: it comes to vitamins. But other than that, the exercise
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: routine may be different. So for example, you may use
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: a YouTube video to do your step exercises. In the
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: evening time, you might do meditation, you might do a
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: walk in the morning, you might do a walk in
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: the afternoon doing your lunch break. But either way it go,
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: there's a reason and how to go about doing it.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: So I definitely agree. So, like I said, you know,
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: these journeys are not easy. So when you are in
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: the beginning phases, you know when you first start working out.
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: And I remember when I started working out again, cause
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: in twenty fifteen, before I couldn't walk. I remember that
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: I was working out seven days a week and wasn't
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: losing no weight none. And that's when I realized it
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: was because right after I went to the gym, I
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: want to go eat and it didn't matter what it was.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: I just was not losing weight. Because vegetables also have calories,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: so it doesn't matter the calories that you eat, it
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: doesn't make a difference. Calories are not your issue here.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: Your issue is do you have go to the doctor
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: and have them do an MRI on you have them
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: do a colonostrophee on you. That's gonna tell you why
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: you can't lose weight. But also emotional eating, so being
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: being boliemic and anorexic, those things make a difference. Break
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: up eating, which is like most when you eat what
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: you eat, so really is not even thank y'all. It's
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: not even about the fact that what y'all think it is.
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: I lost twenty one pounds gain six since I've been
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: home visiting family. I go home, I go back to
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: my house this weekend. So all I'm saying to y'all
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: is when I go back, I do what's called a
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: clean clean eating. Clean eating is I cook everything. Clean
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: eating is I eat vegetables. I eat some pastas, but
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: for the most part, is just meating vegetables. For those
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: of y'all who are vegan, you need Viottamin B. Twelve.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: I understand why vegans are vegans. But see what I
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: don't like is the truth about how veganism originated. Veganism
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: did not start for the reasons y'all think it started.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: The real reason that vegans are what they are is
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: because when they found out the way that animals were slaughtered.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: That's the way y'alln't eat meat. Y'all don't eat meat
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: because the fact of the way that animals are being slaughtered.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: I respect that. I ain't mad at it. If you
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: don't eat meat because the way that animals are being
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: slaught in manufacturing companies. I'm all for it. I'm with you.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: I'm with you on it. But for y'all to say,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: for those of y'all who don't know the history of
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: veganism to say that is based upon health, that is
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: not why y'all do it. That is not why you're
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: a vegan. You are a vegan because of the fact
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: because veganism started with somebody saying they saw the way
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: animals were being slaughtered, and that's why they don't eat meat.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: It ain't got nothing to do the diet because it don't.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: It has everything to do with a choice, and that
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: is completely fine. I respect you more for saying that.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: But are there side effects for being a vegan? Yes,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: there are, because you're a mammal. That's why you're a mammal.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: And as a mammal, we we are we proyn we
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: need meat. So that's why people make, you know, they
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: use beans, they use, you know, other things to make
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: up for that, and that is fine as long as
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: you getting your protein as long. And that's why sometimes
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: they eat beans because those make up for that. So
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: if you eat beans, that will make up for your meat. Toad.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: Food makes up for it. Some people are pestarians, meaning
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: that they eat seafood, which used to be meat before
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: I got alert to it. I used to eat seafood
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: and that w I was a pestarian. But then some reasons,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: somehow I ended up allergic to seafood. I still don't
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: understand how I ended up allergic to seafood, but it happened.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm still broken hearted cause every time I see
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: flee seafood, every time I see shuh seafood, that's gonna cry.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: Every time I see every time I see thank you,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: every time I see sushi, I just wanna cry. Because
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: I used to eat sushi a lot. Sushi was my thing.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: I love s I love sush sushi. If I can
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: make it myself, I would, but I'm now allergic, so
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: that's another thing. Sometimes be allergies, food allergies caund sometimes
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: be a benefit. There's another way. There's another reason I
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: lost a love way too. I can't eat a lot
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: of restaurants because I'm a little selfish and and fish
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: and s all of that. I can't eat no seafood
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: at all. So that benefited me because I couldn't eat
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of restaurants, which is why I had to
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: cook at home. Another thing is where it comes down
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: to that part eating out. If you're someone that's about
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: clean eating, uh, you wanna have to find places that
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: do that. Actually everything is fresh, like fresh vegetables where
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: they actually go out there and they actually catch they fish,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: or they actually grow their vegetables in the garden. So
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: you're you're definitely gonna have to ask those questions. Do
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: they cross contaminate? And they may ask me to see
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: you what I mean by that. If you ask them
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: do they cook they they cook their chicken. There's there
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: are any meats in the same grease. They're not supposed
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: to do that. They're not supposed to cook your seafood
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: in the same grease as your chicken. They're not supposed
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: to do that. That's cross contamination, which is why so
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: many people are sick now. Also, make sure that you
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: get a CT scan MRI colonostrophe. You wanna make sure
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: all those those ducks are checked as well, X rays
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: all of those things, checking to see if they have
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: you have hernias, fibroids, thyroids, stuff like that. Also, your
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: gluten can be off, your sugar can be off. So
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: you just gotta be mindful of what you're eating and drinking.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: But I recommend making your own stuff coffee. Coffee does
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: have its benefits, but I don't recommend drinking too much
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: of it. I think one cup of coffee is fine,
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: but drinking four or five cups of coffee and good
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: for you at all. But coffee does have its benefits.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: It does. When it comes to alcohol, those of y'all
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: drinking liquor, I hate to be very bad news. Y'all
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: gonna end up dead because we're not even supposed to
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: be drinking alcohol. We're not We're not even supposed to
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: be eating oils. That's nothing. We're not supposed to eat
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: oils or or or alcohol. Now, mind you. Wine is
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: different because wine is made from grapes. Wine is one thing.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: I think whiskey is another. There are some alcohols where
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: they're not made with certain things that's gonna make you sick.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: I think Scott Scott whiskey is one of them, and
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: I think Scotch is another. But when it comes to
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: like white liquor, like Rocca, rom Gin, them alcohols, no tequila.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: The only thing about tequila is tequila and gin is
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: gonna make your sin. But only is it gonna make
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: your sin, it's also going to mess up your kidneys
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: and your your lungs. So you definitely want to be
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: very careful with alcohol. Alcohol is something that can be
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: very dangerous, but a glass of wine, red wine in particular,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: is not that bad. You just gotta drinking and moderation.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: But also you know, w if you're someone with chronic pain,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: is exercise gonna be good for you? Yes, But what
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: I recommend for somebody with chronic pain, you gotta have
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: very strong tolerance. I I recommend walking. For people that
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: got CRPS or people with chronic pain, I would recommend
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: doing like chair exercise where you're just lifting your leg up,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: holding it and putting it down, marching in place. And
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: if you are doing the YouTube videos you if if
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: you can't, if you start hurting, just stop. Start off
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: with a five minute exercise. Just start off for five
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: minutes and then go from there. Don't start off with
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: ten minutes. Start off with five, and then gradually lead
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: your way up to ten, fifteen, twenty, whatever. Take your time,
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: So I get it. So, like I said, we all
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: have things that we have to work on. But what
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: works for one person doesn't work for another. Everything I'm
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: telling y'all works for everybody. This works for everybody, regardless
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: of who it is. It works for everybody. But what's
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: gonna make you different is your allergies. What you eat. So,
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: for example, sweet potato. Sweet potatoes are good. You can
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: eat regular potato cause potatoes can be a benefit to you. Rice.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: You can eat rice if it's wheat rice versus white rice.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: Jasmine rice is good, so you can have rice. But
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: rice is a whole lot healty sweets. But if you
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: eat rice maybe once a week, and then have meat
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: and vegetables or just vegetables, then you should be fine.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: But just fine meals that you can meal prep breakfast, lunch,
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: and dinner. For example, you can make something where you
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: put twelve eggs in there, spinach, green peppers, sausage, bacon,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: whatever you want to put in it. Put in the oven,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: cut it up, get you some meal prep bowls, put
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: them in there. Chia seeds. They're good for you. They
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: even have seasonal chia seeds that you can make, which
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: can be everything from oat oats like the oats from
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: oatmeal or just a packet oatmeal. Then you can mix
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: it and then add your yogurt, your cheese seeds. Put
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: it in the refrigerator, freezer, and let us sit overnight
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: and you have you have it for about a week.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: Another thing, juicing. Juicing is something that I'm telling y'all
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: does wonders if you the best thing to do in
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: the morning. Hold the best thing to do in the
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: morning is to just juice in the morning. Hold on
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: a second, Hold on a second, y'all Okay, anyway, so
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: the one thing that I would recommend is juicing in
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: the morning. I would recommend yogurt. I would recommend just bananas. Fruit.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: So if you're gonna work out in the morning, just
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: eat fruit in the morning. Don't eat any grits, don't
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: any bacon, no sausage, no nothing till twelve o'clock, have
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: your first but brunch and then have maybe something light
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: and then have a heart a dinner, then work off.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: So what you do is you get you a book
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: that you can keep up with calories everything you eat
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: that day between ten and six or ten and eight,
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: keep track of it. Work out two hours before you
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: go to bed, and don't eat nothing else, don't drink
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: nothing else. Just go to bed. You can also do
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: protein shakes so you don't have to eat anything after
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: you work out. Just get you a protein shake. After
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: you eat, you can go to the smoothie places, get
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: you a smoothie, get you maybe one rap, just something light.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: But I don't recommend and eating anything until after between
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: ten and s between ten and six, because if you're
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: gonna walk, if you're gonna exercise in the morning, don't
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: eat nothing. What you do is take your protein shape
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: or your yogurt and eat it before you go to
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: the gym, as long as you eat something, and then
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: after you get when you get home, just get your
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: protein shape, get you a smoothie and drink it. But
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: don't eat nothing. After you after you work out, don't
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: eat nothing. You don't wanna eat nothing. After you work
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: out for a couple of hours, then allow say let's
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: say around six about seven o'clock. You may work out,
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: cause some of us don't go to bed till like nine.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: It depends what time you actually, you know, decide you
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: want to work out. So I would say don't eat
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: up between ten and six, between ten and eight, so
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: I would recommend maybe like eggs around ten o'clock. You
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: can fix your breakfast round ten, like one or two o'clock.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: Then have maybe something lun like lunch, like a burrito
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: something like that, and then after that have dinner, and
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: you might have ice cream for dessert. So you can
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: have all of those things, not right now, cause they'm
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: gonna be going here for too long. I'm about to
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: go to beer. But just you know, just thing healthy
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 1: clean eating is basically essentially, you're eating stuff that the
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: body can digest. Because corn, certain things, tomatoes, the skin
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: on it don't digest. So you wanna get one of
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: them machines that can take the skin off of tomatoes
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: and need the tomatoes that way without the skin on them. Corn,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: same thing, the skin is not gonna digest. You're gonna
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: have to thoroughly chill your food. There's nothing thoroughly chewing
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: your food because in your intestines there's a lot of
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: stuff that's in your intestines that's not digested, and what
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: happens is it gets stuck, which in terms is why
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: you're constipated, which in terms is why you have insulin,
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: which in terms is why you have issues stomach your shoes. So,
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: like I said, you just got to be very mindful
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: of what works for you and what your routine is.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: And that's one thing I do with every individual that
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: I work with, I basically essentially do that. I make
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: sure that every person, whatever their lifestyle is gonna be,
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: what this new version of them is going to look like,
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: is based on themselves, not based on me, not based
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: on anybody else. I teach people how to take their
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: talents and make money off of it. I teach people
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: how to build their self esteems, their self worth, their
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: self value, and nobody I do mean nobody it's gonna
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: be able to break it. Why Because you're gonna have
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, critical thinking, common sense, and common judgment. Those
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: things are important because if you don't have critical thinking,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: common sense, and common judgment, morals, values, principles and ethics,
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: if you don't know how to weigh pros and cons
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: and you don't understand the consequence and rep because in
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: Carmel and how what you do impacts and effects other people,
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: you're gonna be screwed, to be honest. So I just
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: want people to understand that healing and recovery is a
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: lot more complex than you might think. But it's a
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: lifestyle and it's about maintaining all the work to heal
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: because when you get back into the world after healing
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: or healing from cancer, the last thing you won't is
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: for it to come back. So do your research, do
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: your the diligence. Don't just go off with doctors tell you.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: Do your research, do your diligence. Make sure that whatever
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: it is that you choose to do is going to
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: add to your healing and recovery. You're never gonna forget
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: what happened to you, but by the time you deal
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: with it, by the time you address it, by the
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: time you look at the way the old version looked
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: at it, how you look at it now, and how
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: you will look at it in the future, you'll make
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: better choices. A person can sit there and say all
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: the negativity they want to, you just gonna look at
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: them be like, are you done? Yeah, Okay, cool? Having
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: good day. That's it. You're not gonna feel nothing because
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: these are not people that you care about what they
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: think about you. Nobody can tell your story unless they
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: would ever, and even then they can't tell you a story,
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: they can only tell their version of it. So sometimes
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: God will pull, well higher power, pull everything from you
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: because of the fact that these people are not good people.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: These are not people that care about you. These are
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: not people that got your back. So let me first
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: say I have people from the countrywaying skits that I
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: appreciate every day because I talk to them behind the
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: scenes and we work together to build something. And I'm
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: not somebody that is ever gonna be jealous of another person.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: But each person has their role. So let me give
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: you example. I have two people that I talk to.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: One person I haven't talked to because I've been sick,
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: so it hasn't been I haven't and I told the
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: person because I've been sick, I haven't called anybody. And
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: plus I've been home visiting my family, so I've been
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: focusing on that. But I just needed some time to myself.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with anybody else. But sometimes
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: you need you need isolation. Sometimes you need a moment
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: to just say, what is this new me gonna look like?
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: What is this new chapters and new journeys that I'm
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: gonna be on. But you can't move forward until you
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: close chapters. And there's gonna be times that nobody can
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: be with you on these journeys except you, and when
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: you finally come out, everybody gonna you know, time has
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: moved forward, but for you it stopped because you're building something,
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: so you ain't got time to go out. You ain't
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: got time to be around all this stuff. So when
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: your friends come to you and say you want to
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: go out, Nope, I can't. Why because I'm working on something.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: I got projects, I got things to do. So you're
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: gonna have to learn to say no and stand on it.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: Whatever decision you made, you better be able to stand
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: on it, whatever come out your mouth, you better you
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: better be able to take everything that come with it.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: So if you can't stand on any decision, and you
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: can't stand on any choice or action or behavior, then
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: why are you doing it? Why are you doing it?
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: So again, I may not talk to people every day.
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: It's now that I don't love them, It's just sometimes
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: I'm in I'm doing something in quiet, and so when
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: they see me, it's as if nothing no time has passed.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you need Sometimes your environment can be the problem.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: You need to leave and the people that will understand
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: will understand. The ones that don't they won't. But don't
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: let people keep you from the path, the purpose, and
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: the journey that you're meant to be on. Don't let
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: nobody stand in the way of your greatness because they
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: don't want you to leave. That's not my problem. Don't
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: let nobody keep you from being the best version of yourself.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: Just continue to do you be you, and the people
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: that will accept you, they will. The ones that won't
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: they just won't. And that's okay. The people that make
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: assumptions want them make assumptions. If somebody try to put
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: your whole entire life out there, lit it, bit it out,
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: then you don't have to respond. You ain't got to
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: do nothing. All you have to say is based on
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: what evidence? What evidence do you have that what you're
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: saying about me is right? Even if it is, I
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: don't have to admit to it. I ain't got to
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: do nothing if I don't want to. So with negative people,
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: they gonna want you to be miserable, because here's the thing.
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: In healing and recovery, you're gonna be very very very
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: very private, and your inner piece and tranquility are going
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: to be non negotiables. They just are. Your inner peace
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: and tranquility is a non negotiable. So you are gonna
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: have non negotiables. And those non negotiables don't change for
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: nothing of nobody. They're just not gonna change. If you
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: saying you're not having sex to marriage, you're gonna stand
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: on that. If you saying that you're not you're not
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: gonna deal a man that's in a relationship, You're gonna
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: stand on that. It ain't no you're gonna change my mind.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: It ain't gonna be no manipulating, bamboozling line nothing. Answer
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: is no. I don't care how any ways you say it.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: My answer is still gonna be know and I'm going
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: to stand on that. If you gonna give something, understand
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: you may not get your money back. Understand that the
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: way you treat people, there is no guarantee that they
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: gonna do the same for you. And you have to
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: know when to sit still and when to move. You
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: have to know when to move in silence and when
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: to tell the world y'all talk too much. The one
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: thing I learned in this life, you better learn how
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: to play chess. Because the one thing that I'm going
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: to teach you is the is the life chess board.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: A lot of y'all do not know what that life
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: chess board is, and I'm going to talk about it
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: now because I will go more in detail in a book.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: The life chess board is you have the negative side
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: on one side and the positive side on another. Okay, July,
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: you have the devil and God and they're both have
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: a chess board, check aboard, whatever the case. Man, Checkers
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: and chess are actually the same game. It's just checkers
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: is more or less played differently. It's the same agenda,
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: taking each piece of the opposite person's you know pieces.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: So your first row is gonna be the things that
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 1: are going to be really the most non important but
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: easier to to take. The second row are gonna be
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: the things that should be your greatest defense. Because they
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: get to that queen, or they take away all your pieces,
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: you're screwed. You dead. So once all your pieces are gone,
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: you're dead. You've lost everything. That's it ain't no coming
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: back from that. Now, every battle that you fight, take
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: a check take a checkerboard, take a chess board, and
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 1: what you do every decision, every choice is each one
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: of them pieces, which piece represents what? And when you
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: make them move, you better make sure you ask yourself
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: why are you moving there? Why are you going there? Now?
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: The one thing about checkers is you do get two
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: pieces when you get the back of the board, and
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: you can move from one side to another side. Unlike
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 1: checkers you can't do that. So understand, both games do matter,
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 1: but checkers a little bit easier because Checkers, once you
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: get them back them back blocks back there, you can
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: actually turn them into two pieces and you're able to
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 1: move around and you have a little bit more freedom
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: to move. Chess you only got one move and that
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: move matters. So a lot of people are playing chess
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: playing checkers. They think they can just move around and
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: that's it. No, that is not how checkers works. Checkers
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: is no different than chess. The only difference is you
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: can jump over to get that to get that person's piece,
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: whereas checkers don't work. Later, that's not how checkers works.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: Checkers is a longer game because it really is a
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: thinking game. So you have to look at every opponent's
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: as one of them pieces. So who is the person
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: that's sitting on the other side of you? It could
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: be somebody you just met. So understand you playing chess
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: with every person you meet, every situation you deal with,
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: you playing chess, and you gotta ask yourself through each piece,
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: if I move here, what's gonna happen if I move here?
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 1: Is it gonna be worth me moving? So I think
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: we need to start teach our kids the thinking process
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: the same way you would playing chess or checkers. So
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 1: when you sit down with your kids, lem'a tell you
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 1: one way to teach your kids. Put them down there
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: and play checkers with 'em and teach them how to
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: play checkers. And when you teach them how to play checkers,
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: let's say, for example, they got in trouble for something,
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: Pull that checker pull that checkerboard out, and what you
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: wanna do is sit down with them and ask them,
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 1: based on pieces, why they moved there. Did they move
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: there because they were influenced? What? What? What made them
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: decide to make that decision? Critical thinking? You just you
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 1: just wanna put them on punishment. No, you need to
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: understand why your child did what they did. You need
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: to know mentally why they did what they did, whereas
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: there it was emotionally why they did it. Did they
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 1: wanna be accepted? While were they following these people? Honey,
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: you have a lot of questions you gonna have to
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: ask a seven year old, but you gonna have to
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: ask them questions. So you have to ask a bunch
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: of questions as a parent. So if they start getting
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: if they start getting, you know, off the shame, then
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 1: it may require something else. But you really need to
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: understand why that child was influenced by the other child,
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: not only that. See, this is what I used to
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: tell mine, and mine has autism. I say, lemme tell
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: you something. I don't care who tells you to do what.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: The last person you gonna wanna face is me. The
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: last person you gonna wanna disappoint is me. I'm your mother,
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: and everything I do is to make sure you have
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: a roof over your head. These other people ain't gonna
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 1: put a roof over your head in a car to
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 1: drive and do all these other things. If you get
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: in trouble, they gonna be quick to snitch. And you
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: gonna be sitting there going through this by yourself. I
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: told him. The only reason somebody wants you to do
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: negative negativity cause they don't wanna go down by themselves.
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: Most negative people don't never wanna go down by themselves.
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: They want somebody else to go down with 'em. So
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: when you talk to your children, you need to get
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: an understanding as to why they did what they did.
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 1: That's the only all you if you you know, if
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 1: you already know who, what, when, where, all you need
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: to know is why and how. That's it. So when
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 1: you start when they coming house, you start asking them questions,
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: who they with, what was they thinking when they did
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: what they did, Why did they do what they did?
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 1: What it did? And what was the purpose of what
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: they did with it? Did? And where are you at now?
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: So sometimes y'all may wanna start making these kids right
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 1: some papers, the same way they do in school. The
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: same way you need to make them run essay as
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: to why they get to go wherever they need to go.
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: Cause trust me, my son didn't have autism. That's exactly
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: what I woulda did. I need you gonna write you
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: write me a five pace paper and explain to me,
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: why you think you should be able to go to
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: your home girl house? What one is so important that
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: you need to go over there for? So yeah, y'all
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: need to start asking these kids some questions. Stop taking
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: they word their face value. If they say they going
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: to their home girl house. If you have not met
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: they parents, you better go meet they parents before you
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: take 'em over. There ain't no and not all of that.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 1: I really don't think these kids should be driving at sixteen.
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: I still think they should be dropped off. So again,
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't think a sixteen year old need
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 1: to have a car. I think sixteen year olds need
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: to be dropped off by their parents until they turn eighteen.
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: You need to be dropped off? Why because you ain't.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: My child is not going to the opole. Ain't nobody
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: come to put my kid up. I'm dropping him off.
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: Even to this day, I drop him off. He autistic,
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: and I don't want him driving because I'm working by
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: police brutality, So we just take him everywhere he needs
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: to go. He sits in the back seat and he
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: is a passenger p passenger prince. He sit back there
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: while we drive, and he love it. Not to say
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 1: I don't want him to drive, but I'm not letting
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: him drive and he's nonverbal, and then policemen stop him,
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: and then I gotta worry about something. No, I'd rather
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: us just drive him. But do I want him to
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: learn how to drive? Yeah? So again, things that are
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: always gonna work out the way you want them to.
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 1: But you better learn how to adjust and learn how
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: to adapt. A lot of y'all do not know how
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: to adjust, and you do not know how to adapt.
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 1: And the one thing about healing and and recovery, adjusting
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 1: and adapting is gonna be very important in your healing
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 1: and recovery. So instead of y'all worrying about everybody else,
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: focus on yourself. There's nothing wrong with helping people. You
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: get to pick and choose how you wanna help people.
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: You ain't got to be a captain saving home. You
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: ain't gotta be a building bear, build a doll seat
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: filler of people with you. Ain't gotta do none of that.
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: It ain't necessary. But it you know, things happen. So,
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: like I said, I get it. I understand where everybody
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: that's listening to this podcast it's it's it's coming from
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: a lot of y'all have been through things and you've
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: been told you ain't allowed to cry. No, you have
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: every right to cry. You have every right to tell
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 1: people that you hurt. You have every right to react
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 1: the way you want to. But if you want to
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: maintain your healing, I'm gonna let you in on a
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 1: little secret. Write this down and keep this with you
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: every time you deal with a negative person, and you
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: cannot beat a negative person through negativity. You cannot be
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: a negative person through positivity. You can only beat a
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: negative person by not dealing with them at all, meaning
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 1: you just walk away from That's it. That's the only
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 1: thing you can do. The only thing you can do
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: is try your best not to be noticed by a
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: negative person. The best thing to do is to make
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 1: sure you pay attention to who is praying on you.
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 1: If a negative person comes saying something, just say okay
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: and keep it pushing, does it. That's the only thing
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: you know. You argue with them, you're gonna lose. You
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: put your hand on, gonna lose. You cuss 'em out,
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: you gonna lose. You gonna lose no matter what. You
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 1: will always lose against a negative person, no matter what.
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: By responding, you just will. So the only thing that
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 1: you can do is just keep pushing, keep going, just
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 1: keep being the best version of you. The only way
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: you can be the negative person is if you stay
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: on the path, the purpose and the journey that you
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: need that you're meant to be on. That's pretty much
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: about it. Ain't the other than that, Ain't nothing else
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: you can do at all. So I just wanted to
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 1: come on here do this podcast. So the four eight
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 1: laws are healing in recovery. There's a lot to unpack.
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna go into some of these things, but
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: the rest of it gonna be in the book. It's
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 1: gonna be a more in detail in the book. But
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 1: it took me a little bit to figure out how
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: I was gonna go about writing this book about healing recovery.
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 1: I know how i'mna write it now, so I wanna
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: get back. That's one of the things I will be doing.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: So I just wanna thank y'all for joining me for
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 1: this episode. I appreciate y'all. I love y'all. Without y'alld,
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: there is no me. It'll be nothing without y'all. I
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: appreciate the gifts. I appreciate you know, all of y'all
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: who support me, all of y'all who haven't even taken
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 1: the time to even listen to my content at all.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I greatly appreciate it. So with that being said,
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 1: thank you guys for joining me for this episode, and
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 1: we will talk by y'all.