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026 - The Flea and the Professor · Fairytales and Short Stories by Hans Christian Andersen

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  Speaker 1: Section twenty six of Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales and
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  Speaker 1: Short Stories, Volume six. This is a LibriVox recording. All
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  Speaker 1: LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information
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  Speaker 1: or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by
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  Speaker 1: Christine G. Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales and Short Stories,
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  Speaker 1: Volume six, eighteen sixty six to eighteen seventy three by
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  Speaker 1: Hans Christian Andersen, translated by H. B. Paul The Flea
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  Speaker 1: and the Professor, Published in Scribner's Monthly Volume five, issue six,
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  Speaker 1: April eighteen seventy three. There was ones an aeronaut with
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  Speaker 1: whom things went badly. The balloon burst, tumbled the man
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  Speaker 1: out and broke into bits. His boy, he had two
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  Speaker 1: minutes before, sent down with a parachute. That was the
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  Speaker 1: boy's luck. He was unhurt and went about with knowledge
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  Speaker 1: enough to make him an aeronaut too. But he had
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  Speaker 1: no balloon and no means of acquiring one. But leave
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  Speaker 1: he must, and so he applied himself to the art
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  Speaker 1: of legg demain and to talking in his stomach. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: he became a ventriloquist. As they say, he was young,
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  Speaker 1: good looking, and when he got a mustache and had
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  Speaker 1: his best clothes on, he could be taken for a
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  Speaker 1: nobleman's son. The lady seemed to think well of him.
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  Speaker 1: One young lady even was so taken with his charms
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  Speaker 1: and his great dexterity that she went off with him
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  Speaker 1: to foreign parts. There he called himself professor. He could
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  Speaker 1: scarcely do less. His constant thought was how to get
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  Speaker 1: himself a balloon and go up in the air with
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  Speaker 1: his little wife. But as yet they had no means.
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  Speaker 1: They'll come yet, said he, If only they would, said she.
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  Speaker 1: We are young falks, said he, And now I am professor.
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  Speaker 1: She helped him faithfully, sat at a door and sold
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  Speaker 1: ticket to the exhibition, and it was a chilly sort
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  Speaker 1: of pleasure in winter time. She also helped him in
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  Speaker 1: the line of his art. He put his wife in
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  Speaker 1: a table drawer, a large table drawer. Then she crawled
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  Speaker 1: into the back part of the drawer, and so was
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  Speaker 1: not in the front part, quite an optical allusion to
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  Speaker 1: the audience. But one evening, when he drew the drawer out,
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  Speaker 1: she was also out of sight to him. She was
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  Speaker 1: not in the front drawer, not in the back one either,
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  Speaker 1: not in the house itself, nowhere to be seen or heard.
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  Speaker 1: That was her feet of leg domain, her entertainment. She
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  Speaker 1: never came back again. She was tired of it all,
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  Speaker 1: and he grew tired of it, lost his good humor,
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  Speaker 1: could not laugh or make jokes, and so the people
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  Speaker 1: stopped coming. His earnings became scanty, his clothes gave out,
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  Speaker 1: and finally he only owned a great flea, which his
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  Speaker 1: wife had left him, and so he thought high love it,
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  Speaker 1: and he dressed the flea and taught it to perform,
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  Speaker 1: to present arms, and to fire a cannon off, but
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  Speaker 1: it was a little cannon. The professor was proud of
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  Speaker 1: the flea, and the flea was proud of himself. He
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  Speaker 1: had learnt something, and had human blood, and had been
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  Speaker 1: besides to the largest cities, had been seen by princes
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  Speaker 1: and princesses, had received their high praise, and it was
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  Speaker 1: printed in a newspaper and on placards. Plainly, it was
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  Speaker 1: a very famous flea and could support a professor and
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  Speaker 1: his entire family. The flea was proud and famous. And
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  Speaker 1: yet when he and the professor traveled they took fourth
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  Speaker 1: class carriages on the railway. They went just as quickly
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  Speaker 1: as the first class. They were betrothed to each other.
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  Speaker 1: It was a private engagement that would never come out.
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  Speaker 1: They never would marry. The Flea would remain a bachelor
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  Speaker 1: and the Professor a widower. That made it balance where
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  Speaker 1: one has the best luck, said the professor. There one
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  Speaker 1: ought to go twice. He was a good judge of character,
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  Speaker 1: and that is also a science of itself. At last,
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  Speaker 1: he had traveled over all countries except the wild ones,
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  Speaker 1: and so he wanted to go there. They each Christian
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  Speaker 1: meant there, to be sure, the Professor knew, but then
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  Speaker 1: he was not properly Christian, and the Flea was not
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  Speaker 1: properly a man. So he thought they might venture to
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  Speaker 1: travel there and have a good success. They traveled by
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  Speaker 1: steamship and by sailing vessel. The flee perform districts, and
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  Speaker 1: so they got a free passage on the way and
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  Speaker 1: arrived at the wild country. Here reigned a little princess.
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  Speaker 1: She was only eighty years old, but she was reigning.
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  Speaker 1: She had taken away the power from her father and mother,
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  Speaker 1: for she had a will. And then she was extraordinarily
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  Speaker 1: beautiful and rude. Just as soon as the Flea had
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  Speaker 1: presented arms and fired off the cannon. She was so
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  Speaker 1: enraptured with him that she said him and nobody. She
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  Speaker 1: became quite wild with love, and was already wild in
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  Speaker 1: other ways. Sweet little sensible child, said her own father,
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  Speaker 1: if one could only first make a man of him,
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  Speaker 1: leave that to me, old man, said she. And that
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  Speaker 1: was not well said by a little princess when talking
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  Speaker 1: with her father, But she was wild. She set a
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  Speaker 1: flea on her white hand. Now you are a man
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  Speaker 1: reigning with me. But you shall do what I want
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  Speaker 1: you to, or else I'll kill you and eat the professor.
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  Speaker 1: The professor had a great halt to live in. The
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  Speaker 1: walls were made of sugar cane, and he could lick them,
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  Speaker 1: But he was not a sweet tooth. He had a
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  Speaker 1: hammock to sleep in. It was as if he were
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  Speaker 1: lying in a balloon, such as he had always wished
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  Speaker 1: for himself. That was his constant thought. The flea lived
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  Speaker 1: with the princess, sat upon her delicate hand and upon
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  Speaker 1: her white neck. She had taken a hair from her
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  Speaker 1: head and made the professor tie it to the flee's leg,
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  Speaker 1: And so she kept him tied to the great red
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  Speaker 1: coral drop, which she wore in her air tip. What
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  Speaker 1: a delightful time the princess had, and the flea too,
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  Speaker 1: she thought. But the professor was not very comfortable. He
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  Speaker 1: was a traveler. He liked to drive from town to
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  Speaker 1: town and read about it perseverance and cleverness in teaching
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  Speaker 1: a flea to do what men do. But he got
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  Speaker 1: out of and into his hammock, lounged about and had
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  Speaker 1: good feeding fresh birds, eggs, elephant's eyes, and rose giraffe.
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  Speaker 1: People that eat men do not live entirely on cooked men. No,
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  Speaker 1: that is a great delicacy. Shoulder of children with sharp sauce.
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  Speaker 1: So the princess's mother is the most delicate. The professor
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  Speaker 1: was tired of it all and would rather go away
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  Speaker 1: from the wild life. But he must have his flea
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  Speaker 1: with him, for that was his prodigy and his bread
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  Speaker 1: and butter. How was he to get hold of him?
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  Speaker 1: That was no easy matter. He strained all his wits,
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  Speaker 1: and then he said, now I have it. Princess's father,
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  Speaker 1: grant me a favor. May I summon your subjects to
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  Speaker 1: present themselves before your royal highness. That is what is
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  Speaker 1: called a cermony in the High and Mighty countries of
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  Speaker 1: the world. Can I too learn to do that, asked
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  Speaker 1: the princess's father. That is not quite proper, replied the professor.
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  Speaker 1: But I shall teach your wild fatherships to fire a cannon.
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  Speaker 1: Off it goes off with a bank once it's high
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  Speaker 1: up aloft, and then off it goes so down when
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  Speaker 1: he comes, let me crack it off, said the princess's father.
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  Speaker 1: But in all the land there was no cannon except
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  Speaker 1: the one the flea had brought, and that was so
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  Speaker 1: very small. I will cast a bigger one, said the professor.
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  Speaker 1: Only give me the meats. I must have fine silk stuff,
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  Speaker 1: needle and thread broke and caught, together with cordial drops
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  Speaker 1: for the balloon. They blow one up so easily and
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  Speaker 1: give one the heat. They are what make the report
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  Speaker 1: in the cannons inside. By all means, said the princess's father,
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  Speaker 1: and gave him what he called for. All the court
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  Speaker 1: and the entire population came together to see the great
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  Speaker 1: cannon cast. The professor did not summon them before he
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  Speaker 1: had the balloon entirely ready to be filled and go up.
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  Speaker 1: The flee sat on the Princess's hand and looked on
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  Speaker 1: the balloon was filled, it bulged out and can scarcely
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  Speaker 1: he beheld down. So violent did it become. I must
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  Speaker 1: have it up in the air before he can be
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  Speaker 1: called off, said the Professor, and took his seat in
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  Speaker 1: the car which hung below. But I cannot manage and
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  Speaker 1: stir it alone. I must have a skillful companion along
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  Speaker 1: to help me. There is no one here that can
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  Speaker 1: do that except the flea. I am not very willing
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  Speaker 1: to let him, said the princess, But still she reached
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  Speaker 1: out and handed the fleet of the Professor, who placed
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  Speaker 1: him on his hand. Let go of the courts and ropes,
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  Speaker 1: he shouted. Now the balloon's going, they thought, he said
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  Speaker 1: the cannon. And so the balloon went higher and higher
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  Speaker 1: up above the clouds, far away from the wild land.
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  Speaker 1: The little Princess or the family and the people sat
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  Speaker 1: and waited. They are waiting still, And if you do
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  Speaker 1: not believe it, just take a journey to the wild land.
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  Speaker 1: Every charm there talks about the Professor and the flea
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  Speaker 1: and believes that they are coming back when the cannon
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  Speaker 1: is called off. But I will not come. They are
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  Speaker 1: at home with us. They are in their native country.
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  Speaker 1: They travel on the railway first class, not fourth. They
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  Speaker 1: have good success a great balloon. Nobody asks how they
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  Speaker 1: got a balloon or where it came from. They are
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  Speaker 1: rich folks, now quite respectable folks, indeed, the flea and
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  Speaker 1: the professor end of the flea and the professor end
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  Speaker 1: of Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales and Short Stories, Volume six,
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  Speaker 1: eighteen sixty six to eighteen seventy three by Hans Christian Andersen,
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  Speaker 1: translated by H. B. Paul