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The Privilege of a Lifetime: Embracing Your True Identity · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the Spiritual Shit Show.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: My name is Julie Nguyen and here on this podcast we talk about everything the shit show of life, of spiritual awakening I share my stories because I am a firm believer in sharing stories awakens your ability to also see, accept, love, cherish, refine your own story as well.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I want to start this podcast today with a quote by Carl Jung, and the quote is the privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are and this is where I personally am on the journey is allowing myself to truly be who I am, outside of the noise of what I was told or thought or feared or any of that kind of stuff In my own healing journey and being raised with a narcissist which is a whole other podcast upon itself.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: But you become what you are told.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: You become what is constantly ingrained in you.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: So being and spending years of you're crazy or nobody likes you, or you're wacky or all of these things.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I began to wear that energetic pattern as a wardrobe and I became that I am not.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I guess I am not lovable, I guess I am crazy.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I guess that all of these feelings that I have aren't true.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Gaslight, gaslight, gaslight, I don't know.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Being with a narcissist makes you question every single thing that you think is reality, how you experience reality, because you are constantly being gaslit to be controlled, to be small, and my journey for the past eight years in particular has been the slow.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: For the past eight years in particular has been the slow and also quite beautiful rebuilding of myself, the remembering that all of these things that I always felt to be true of who I am, they actually are, they're true, they're true.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: And so now it's the practice of allowing myself, day by day, to step into the truth of who I am.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I had a session with a client last night and what the guides kept on telling this particular client was you are so much bigger than what you allow yourself to be Like, you are meant to be so big in this world to travel and how you interact with anybody, but how you interact with children and how you interact with you know the barista how you interact with anybody, it matters, it matters, it matters.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: And then in my energy classes that I host on Monday nights, it's always, again, like channeling these messages.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: It's always like, oh my gosh, like if you could see yourself the way we see you, whoa, like you're so incredible.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: You're so incredible and your unique gifts truly matter.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And then also, what came in on Monday night was stop trying to fix yourself, stop trying to fix all of these things that you think are wrong with you, and spend more time seeing yourself in the beautiful wholeness of what you are, and that these things that you're trying to fix are actually really great tools.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: You've chosen them.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: You've chosen this personality.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: You've chosen all of this.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: For many of us, we're really good about seeing the light and the goodness in other people, but we have a harder time seeing that in ourselves.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: So how do we really begin practicing that, seeing the light of who we are in ourselves?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: And I think one doorway in that is allowing yourself to truly receive, receive, receive, receive what the universe or God or source or whatever your relationship is with a higher power.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: But how can you really allow yourself to receive a higher power?
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: But how can you really allow yourself to receive?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: For me personally, I have been off this mic for a while, and it's because I kept on asking myself am I just adding to the noise.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Does what I really say matter?
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Does it matter?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Why am I doing this?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Is it for my own ego?
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Is it for, yeah, to achieve something, to gain notoriety?
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Is it, you know, a selfish habit that I just want to rehash my story over and over and over again?
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Is it habit, like I began, just to question the why of all of it?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: And does it matter actually and this is what I realized, especially through being able to work with the guides on a more consistent basis, with clients and energy club and all of the things but it matters.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: It matters Every single thing matters, Every single thing, especially when it's coming from integrity, intention, heart.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: You matter, I matter, our lives matter, our kindness matters.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Sometimes our like irritation also matters because it's human.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: That is so human that we're not here to be perfect.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: We're here to be human.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: And in this human experience, the privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are, and that requires surrender.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: And so I've been thinking what does this really mean to surrender?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: You know, I can see in the rebuild the slow rebuild of my life and really intentionally working on aligning with the truth of who I am and disconnecting from the stories that I've been told of who I am and coming back to reclaim my own power, my voice, my love, who I am, really, coming into self-acceptance, self-love.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: And then I'm going to segue here.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: But when things really got stripped out of my life eight, nine years ago, one of the things that left was my sense of fashion.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Like before that, I loved using my intuition to put clothes together and my hair was always funky and I always dressed a little bit differently, but it was me.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: And then, when things kind of got like cut, I lost, all set In losing the identity.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I also lost so many things that are innately who I am, and so part of this rebuild, too, is I have been loving my return to how I like to dress and how clothes make me feel, and it feels so silly, but I lost it.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I forgot that I like to intuitively dress, I like to mismatch, I like to all of these things and this bringing back this energy, this charge, this remembrance of who I am, what makes me happy, how I want to live, and all of this too, every day.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: It is a practice.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: It's a practice of okay, julie, this is who you are, this is what lights you up.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Trust that, trust that.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Trust that Allow new energies to arise and now allow yourself to be seen, Allow yourself to love, allow yourself to be in joy, allow yourself to create.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you, it has taken a lot of work, a lot of work, to come out of the web, which was what I was once living in, is the web of control, of a narcissist, of somebody always kind of working through the back door to pull me out of relationships, break friendships, you know, mess with my money, my financial status.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: It was just like a total shit show, and the coming out of it was also a spiritual shit show.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: And now it is not a shit show, it is transitioned into fuck.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I'm remembering who I always am, and now the work is on me, the responsibility is on me, the accountability is on me that I have a choice every single day of how I want to be, how I want to live, how I want to continue to bloom, how I want to grow, how I want to show up for other people, how I want my house to be All of that.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: And all of that takes work, work and surrender and this type of work you cannot get an Instagram version of.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: It is not a cliche, it is not a real, it is the real thing.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: And this podcast is to help support you, normalize what you are also going through too, to embody shifts, to embody spiritual awakening, to embody aha moments, to embody like damn, I'm doing that thing again.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I'm seeing, I am hooked into that belief system or I'm hooked into that story, or I just got like hooked into all of that.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Damn, I'm doing it again.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: But now you have the tools on how to get yourself out and to continue to trust not only in yourself, to continue to amplify the energy, the truth of who you are, to investigate what trust and love and joy really is, and also what this space of surrender looks like In my life, in my adult life, the 26 years.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I can look back and I'm like, damn, I would have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever would have guessed that this person that was introduced into my life 20 years ago would then show up 20 years later and become such a mentor and a soul sister for me.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I would have never been able to script that.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I would have never been able to script that.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I would have never been able to script that this one particular student that I taught for three years was going to be the one that opened me up to begin to be able to teach overseas, and that she was the one who introduced me to my Asian family overseas, that brought me and my daughter and my family so many magical experiences, soul shifting experiences, that one student and that student wasn't the superstar, she didn't last very like, but she was the one who opened, who had the key to this thing that I got to experience.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Or another student that I had so long ago, and probably only taught for like a year and a half, that I am now able to offer loving soul sessions to to help them on their path.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I would have never been able to script that.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: So in surrendering, what we're really doing is creating space for the universe to do its job, to do its job to assist us in our becoming this just leap and the rest will appear type of bullshit.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I think it's easier said than done and I also don't think that's the way it works, because in surrendering sometimes we have to know that we are also just negotiating and not truly surrendering.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And surrender isn't one massive leap, it's a thousand small choices that are made every single day.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: It's asking yourself what am I clinging to right now?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: It's noticing where am I over-efforting, striving, pushing because I don't trust what's already here, because I don't trust that what I'm striving for is achievable?
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to say that one again, probably because I need to hear it.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Where am I over-efforting, striving, pushing because I don't trust what's already here?
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: And then loosening the grip just a little, giving space for God or the universe source to be present?
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: That surrender, that's also co-creation.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: And how do we do that?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: How do we begin to love all of these parts of who we are and to gain some sort of self-forgiveness of what happened in the past, compassion for self, of like oh my gosh, I was so tender, you know, and, oh my gosh, like you just did, you were just doing the best that you could, gifting yourself that, gifting yourself that.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: And as we dance through this meat suit, through this really dense soul, enriching soul, lessons, experience of being human, what I know for sure is that the universe is always waiting.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: That spirit, god, whatever angels, they're patient.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: They're patient as we navigate our space.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I picture it as our support team, our guides, our whatever.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: They're always standing in the corner, they're patient, they're calm.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: When we're not listening, which I am so guilty of, I seek guidance.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: All the time.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not going to do that yet.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that later.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, I hear you, but I want to do it my way first.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: And spirit's like all right, go ahead, we'll wait.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: And I think this is also why all of life is in a spiral, because a lot of the times it's like, yeah, I hear you, and then I'm gonna have to hear you again and again, and again and again, until I actually am like, okay, I trust, I surrender now, guide me, lead me, use me, but first I needed to do it my way first.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: And so spirit is never going to bulldoze their way into your life.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: They're going to honor your free will, your self-expression, and they're going to wait until you literally invite them in, until you say, okay, I am here, use me, do your magic, I'm creating space for you to be here, I'm willing to work with you.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: And that's the shift from control fear, not trusting into just inviting spirit to be more in your life and then feeling that energy in your body.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And then in this comes the remembrance of who you are, which is love and magic.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: And you, you, you, you have your own gifts that nobody else has To use your voice or to create or to love or simply just to live like, live a really cool life.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: And this remembrance, it's a practice.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: It's not a big.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to totally change and shift my entire life situation.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: It's an embodied practice.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: It's a daily practice, just to take a breath, to create a pause to notice when you're gripping, to pause to notice when you're gripping.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Also, have a little laughter around when you're spinning out too much Damn, I'm doing it again Fuck, and then just loosen it just a little, and just that is enough for the magic to move in, for you to reground to yourself, to center yourself again.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: And it's the reminder that the universe doesn't need to prove itself to you.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: It's simply just waiting for the invitation.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: What control can I release today?
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: What control can I release today?
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Where can I create a little bit more space for the magic to be woven in?
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Where can I create more space for breath, present moment, awareness, joy and honoring where I am?
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: What do I need today?
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: How am I feeling?
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: What's going to bring me the most joy today and how can I do that?
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: How can I be more of myself today?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are, to be able to recognize that you already are magnificent, that you matter, that your voice matters.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Your presence matters.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Your ideas matter.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: How you see and experience the world matters.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Your dreams matter.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: What you take delight in matters.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: What you want to create matters, even if nobody wants it.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: If you think nobody's going to ever want this, create it anyways.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: It matters.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Your energetic fingerprint in a manifested world matters.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: And when the self-doubt comes in and you begin to question if it matters, like I did, I took a little pause on this podcast.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: It is also okay to return to it again, and that's like in meditation you just keep coming back to the breath, you keep coming back to the breath, you keep coming back to the breath, and our becoming is this.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: It's just one little thing at a time, one intentional practice at a time, one breath at a time, and may each breath bring in a sense of joy.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I am here, it matters, I matter.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: And then, finally, my blessing to you is, may you continue to feel the strength, the love, the joy, the gift that you are.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: And spirit always says again if you could see yourself the way we see you, allow yourself to receive that type of love because you are so divinely loved and celebrated all of it.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: And then when I say that too, I just want to add my own personal thing that this isn't about being perfect and being like.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I love it when the spirit has a sense of humor.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh yeah, in a client session last night they were like that this person is with you.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: They were crossed over on the other side.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Last night they were like this person is with you.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: They were crossed over on the other side.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: They were funny and they were sarcastic and they would laugh at things that people who were on a righteous path wouldn't laugh at because that would be mean.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: But this person was just like.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: They just thought it was funny.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: And so it also is.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: For me, it's like the reminder to loosen up.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Loosen up on trying to be right, loosen up on trying to be perfect, loosen up on still trying to be in the space of perfection and allow yourself to embrace more, embody more these human experiences with the knowing that you have spirit there guiding you through all of it, all of it.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: So you are this duality of human and spirit, and right there in the center is the heart, heart of it all.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: It's where the magic sparks off constantly.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: So, being able to embrace all of it, all of it, all of it matters.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Your voice, your feelings, your emotions, your experiences, your triggers, your joy, your impulses, your dreams, it all matters and it is all celebrated because it is all you and you are loved.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: That is where I will end this podcast.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Today, I am sending you so much love, and may you continue to remember that your love matters.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: The end Till next time.