Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / How to Give Big on a Small Budget

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How to Give Big on a Small Budget · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Hello, this stopped justin Coilson. I'm here with Kylie, my
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: wife from Mum to our six kids. Kylie, have you
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: noticed we've been talking about Christmas for the last week
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: or so on the podcast. Sometimes we're really excited about it,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: there's so much to look forward to, and other times
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: we're like.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, so hard. I don't want to do Christmas this year.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: I have felt it for the last few years, but
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: I'm hearing more and more people say to me, I
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: just don't want to do Christmas this year. There's a
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: shift in how we want to do Christmas.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, nice. I like the way you've said that.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: So today we're talking about gifts, budgets, how much cash
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: to spend, how to get it all right. We're not
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: financial advisors, by the way, so you can take it
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: or leave it, And we don't want to do as
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: sort of a boring his hell to budget kind of conversation.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: But we've asked our listeners, we've brainstormed together, we've talked
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: to families and come up with six things that can
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: help you to do Christmas on a budget.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: One of the things that was a game changer for us,
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: and you may have heard us talk about this before
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: is we go by the four gifts of Christmas.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I always get around the wrong order you do it,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: and I'll well.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: You buy them something they want, something they need, something
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: to wear, and something to read. That literally, with six kids,
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: having a little box that I can put gifts into
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: in those four areas revolutionize Christmas for me.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: The only trouble is sometimes when you're on a real
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: tide budget buying something they want, something they need, something
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: to wear, and something to read.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: That can be expensive. That can really add up fast.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: But yes it can. But depending on your budget, it
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: might be new undies and socks. You only get new
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: undies and socks at Christmas time, that's what you wear.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: In fact, we were listening to Jess a little bit
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: earlier when we're having chat with her, and she said
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: that's exactly what she does with her Santa sax.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: But we do try to fill the Santa Sacks with
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: things the kids need anyway for the year ahead, So
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: a new lunch box and new shoes, undies, chocolates, things
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: we probably would have bought them anyway, and then to
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: save them up and put them into the Santa sack.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: So in Jess's situation. It's a new lunch box and
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: a drink bot.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: We do the same thing the Sata Sax. There's some
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: fun stuff in there.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: There's the ginger beer and the mango that we've already
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: talked about, but we actually go by the same thing,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: and it really it bulks out the Christmas gift giving.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: The kids are like, yeah, cool, I needed socks and
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: nundies anyway, or a lunch box. But it helps you
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: to say, all right, that's taken care of and now
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: we don't have to worry about it in January or
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: February when they go back to school.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: We've already bought it for Christmas.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Well, the kids get all their tailet trees and there
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: yes in their Sanda Sax that I would buy them normally,
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: but I just store it up so it becomes a gift.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, perfect. So that's one idea, one of our
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: six ideas. The next idea I reckon it's just important
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: to stick to a budget. So work out how much
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: money you've got and don't say, well the credit card
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: max is out at five grand or ten grand or
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: whatever it is, because that's a bad way to start
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: the new year.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: New Year's Resolution then has to be.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Pay off the credit card, and that's not fun work
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: out how much cash you've got.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: I think it works in any situation, whether it be
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: the groceries or your shopping list for Christmas or whatever.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: If you've got a list and you have a budget,
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: then you're more likely to stick to that, Whereas when
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: I would take you shopping, even though I knew what
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: the budget was and I had my shopping list, you'd
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: be like, Oh, we just need these chocolate chip cookies,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: and we just need these as creams, and we just
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: need this, and all of a sudden, my budget would
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: blow out by fifty or seventy dollars.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I'm really bad at this, just because you.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Came along and you didn't know how to stick to
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: what I was trying to achieve.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I have an inhibition problem. I have a self regulation problem,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Like this is that a bag you out?
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  Speaker 3: But it's just an acknowledgement. When we don't have a
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: budget or we don't have a list that we stick to.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: What happens is we get caught up in the moment.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: And that happens anyway, So you know, not just with
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: the groceries, but every year we go through.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Something they want something, they need, something to wear and
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: something to read.
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  Speaker 1: You do that careful, selective gift buying, keeping it to
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: our budget, and then I look at the gifts. I'm like, oh,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: you've done all this great gift buying, Colylie, and I
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: haven't done anything. And then I go down to the
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: shops pull out the credit ye and then.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: I go, hang on a sec. Now, Abby and our
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: I have got like major gifts, and you've left out
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: these two kids over here.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: And I reckon, I've done it half a dozen times
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: over the last decade, and it always costs us and
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: we don't need it because you've done such thoughtful gift giving,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: and I go and blow it all the time.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: My impulsiveness is you know that the other.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Day we talked about how being on the same page
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: is really helpful and you know, sharing that cognitive load.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Maybe if you and I sat down and talked, I know,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I know, I know I've got to do.
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  Speaker 3: Better, then you could go and buy some gifts because
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: off my list, I love to buy things and do
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: the giving myself, and I feel like, because you do
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: all of this on your own, I feel like I'm
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: not part of it.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: And therefore I haven't given it to them. You have.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: It's always a surprised to me when I see what
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: the kids get. Let's just be.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Clear, everybody, Let's just be clear. I beg for your involvement.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I know, and I have asked, and what's your what's
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: your normal response to me?
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I've just got to finish this email.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: I don't have the headspace.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Don't have the head space.
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  Speaker 3: Just take care of it.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Do you have any idea? How much work I've got?
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  Speaker 3: What? Whatever you want, honey, just you do it. I'll
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: be really grateful, all right.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: So that's the second ideas.
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  Speaker 1: First idea is by essentials and use them in the
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Sanda sack or find other ways to give them as
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: part of something to wear, something they need, something they want,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: something to read. I got around the wrong way, didn't I.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: And the second thing is actually stick to a budget.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Work out what your budget's going to be and stick
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: to it. Now, this leads into.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Its sort of dovetails with our third.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Idea, determining who you're going to give to.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Right, so, you want to give to everybody, but if
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: you've only got a budget, let's say a thousand dollars
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: for argument's sake, you just can't give to everybody.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: Well you can, but giving looks different in different situations.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: I like the way you said that. That's great.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: So if you want to stick to your budget, then
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: you need to look at who are the most important
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: people in this scenario that you want to give to.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Hu As a parent, I'm going to suggest it's going
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: to be your children that you want to give to.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I can't believe you didn't see me.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, you're hilarious, mister. I'll just go and buy what
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I want when I need.
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  Speaker 2: Stop it. Don't be like that. I get in trouble
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: for that all the time.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Okay, But then you've got extended family members.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Just on extended family, so there are twenty grandkids on
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: my parents' side.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: So that's twenty nephews and nieces, well it's four of them,
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: six of them of ours.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then on your parents' side it's fifteen, which
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: takes down to nine. So we would be buying for
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: twenty three nieces and nephews as well as two sets
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: of parents, as well as you and I as well
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: as our six kids. We're literally up to forty or
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: fifty gifts or forty or fifty people that are buying
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  Speaker 1: for like that is, it's astronomical, So when you're making the.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: List, you kind of need to work out.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Well, in our family, our extended families, we do like
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: a what do you call it, a Chris Kringle Secret
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Santa szod Santa, So the kids buy for one another.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Well, in the beginning, it was the adults brought for adults.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: But as we've gained more children in the family, what
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: we determined was that we wanted the kids to be
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: a part of the giving.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and the adults were all too hard to buy
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: for anyway.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we all decided when we want something, we get
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: what we want anyway, So let's let the kids be
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: a part of the giving process. And that's been fantastic.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: But another couple of things that I've seen other people
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: do is Aunties have just brought every child a T shirt.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: They get a brand new T shirt from Auntie Sarah
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: or a brand new book.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Rachel, one of our listeners, said, this is what she does.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: We also have a good understanding with extended family that
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: we don't buy them presents and they don't buy for us.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Jess had a really good idea as well. When we're
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: trying to stick to a budget.
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  Speaker 4: We've organized a system where all the siblings get together
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: and buy a combined present for the other siblings, which
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: means we can all contribute a little bit less money,
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: but it's still collectively a large amount of money and
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: we can buy a decent present.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: So let's just do a quick recap on that. We've
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: got Chris Tringle and Secret Santa. Not everybody has to
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: buy something for everybody. It can just be one person
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  Speaker 1: buying for one other person. That way, everyone gets a
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  Speaker 1: gift from the nieces, nephew's, cousins, whoever it is.
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  Speaker 2: There's the idea of combining.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Funds, which we've done many times for especially for the parents,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: right for your parents or my parents or whoever. It's
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: really hard, so you can buy them with your siblings
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  Speaker 1: and you can buy something really substantial, something that's really
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: really diightful, and still keep it within budget.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: The third thing that we need to talk about is
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: just making the list of gifts.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Let's talk about that after the break. It's the Happy
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Families podcast, the podcast for the time poor parent who
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: just wants answers now, and today we're talking about gifts, budgeting,
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: No gifts. That's what we're talking about, all right. So
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: we've got so much more exciting than budgets.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: We've covered off the power of making sure that we
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: know who we're buying for, know how much we've got
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: to spend, and we're giving essentials where we can and
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: turning them into really fun gifts like stuff in the
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Santa Sack. But Kylie, you want to talk about how
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: you get the list of gifts right, especially when you're
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: on a budget.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Rachel actually had a really good idea. We use Marketplace
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: or gum Tree to buy secondhand if needed. Our kids
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: know and they don't mind. So how do you feel
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: about secondhand gifts?
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I think it.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, if it's for me, I'm going to be
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: upset about it, But if for someone else, probably you're
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: so bad.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I think it just depends on what it is.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Like let's say you want to buy a bike and
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: somebody wants a really nice bike, then chances are that's
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: going to beyond most people's budgets.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: And I'd say, if you can get yourself a really.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Nice secondhand bike, it's probably going to be fantastic, and
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: you'll get it for less than half price, Like you'll
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: save an absolute bundle. We've got a daughter who wants
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Pokemon cards, and you can buy box sets of poker.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: You can get the whole lot secondhand, really really well
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: priced on Facebook Marketplace.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: So thousand cards for one hundred and fifty.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Dollars, not that you want to give away too much.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: I think I want a thousand cards.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: No, I don't want a thousand Pokemon cards in our
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: house either, but we've got a daughter who wants them.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: So I reckon that that could be an idea. It
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: could be an option for some people in some circumstance.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Probably not always.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: I actually probably would have really struggled with secondhand until
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: a few years ago. One of my friends, she's really
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: really conscious about the environment, and she loves buying secondhand,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: and so I wanted to give her a gift. And
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: I thought, it's going to feel a little bit like
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: a slap in the face if I go and buy
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: her something brand new, because it's not what she usually does.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: And I knew that her family wanted a so to stream,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: and so I got on Marketplace and somebody literally had
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: brought a brand new soda stream maker and realized that
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: they actually just didn't like it. So I decided I'd
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: get it. That it didn't come in a box, but
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I got to wrap it up in a pretty parcel
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: for her and gift it to her family. And she
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: loved the fact that I had gone to the effort
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: of going secondhand.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I love how it's harder to get stuff secondhand, and
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: yet it made a bigger impact. She was grateful that.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: So I guess it comes down to value systems and
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: what people's expectations are. But secondhand's an option in terms
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: of making that list of gifts. You could also go handmade,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: especially if you're on a budget. We've talked about that
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: in previous podcasts. But taking the time to make something
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: when you haven't got the cash to spend.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Can be really, really meaningful. And something else that I
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: want to talk about.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Science tells us that giving experiences is much better than
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: giving gifts as a general rule, when you get to
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: share the experience with somebody because you create those memories together.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: But if you can't give an experience.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Or you're not quite sure what to give, especially if
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: you don't know them well, some researchers have discovered that
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: giving a voucher is incredibly effective. People love it when
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: they get a voucher, because then they can go and
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: spend the money on something that they really value and they.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Still know that you've thought of them.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Plus, if you give vouchers, you get to allow them
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: to take advantage of the Boxing day sales and that
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: kind of thing. So when you're making that list of gifts,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: don't discount the power of a voucher, especially for somebody
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: that you might not be really well acquainted with or
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: just not sure what to get them.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Well, Lisa had a really good point. When it comes
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: to gift giving.
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: We try and buy one good gift that we know
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: that they're going to use, enjoy, and will create an
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: experience for our family.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: Ever since our kids were young, that has been our motto,
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: one hundred percent. I would rather our children get one
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: beautiful gift that's great quality. Might have cost us a
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: little bit more, but knowing that I could pass that one.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Down, right, Yeah exactly, there were more than one.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Kid who's going to enjoy this.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: We'll get multiple childhoods out of that one gift rather
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: than getting something that's going to be ruined by.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: New Year's Day.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So I'm with Lisa on that one quality versus quantity.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: When it comes to Christmas on a budget, sometimes worth
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: spending a touch more even if you end up with
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: a little less because of the longevity of it, and.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Our last idea, utilizing sales and laybys can really help
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: when you're trying to manage your budget at Christmas time.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Well, we really hope that these ideas are helpful for
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: you if you're doing Christmas on a budget like most
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: of us. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Rowland from Bridge Media, and if you would like more
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: info about making your family happier, check it all out
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: at happy families dot com dot i