Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / Ep. 59 Building Financial Strength Through Embodiment (with special guest Frankie Socash)

Transcript

Ep. 59 Building Financial Strength Through Embodiment (with special guest Frankie Socash) · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Erin Gray: You're listening to Generate a Life Well-Lived podcast.
• 0:03
  Erin Gray: I'm your friend and confidant, erin Gray.
• 0:05
  Erin Gray: I'm a former certified financial planner, turned human design, financial mentor and guide to entrepreneurs.
• 0:10
  Erin Gray: I believe our money and our business can only thrive at the level of our emotional wellbeing.
• 0:16
  Erin Gray: I empower entrepreneurs to feel confident with their money and in their business so that they can have fun now and in the future.
• 0:22
  Erin Gray: On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design.
• 0:29
  Erin Gray: I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn along the way, as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same.
• 0:38
  Erin Gray: Hey, my friends, how are we today so super excited about today's podcast?
• 0:43
  Erin Gray: I've got my friend, frankie Sokash on the podcast today and she is a retired massage therapist turned so many other things, but probably an embodiment coach right, helping people to get into their bodies.
• 0:55
  Erin Gray: I think Frankie and I have very similar similar stories in regards to money, taking some time off, how important in like our belief is, in like getting into the body.
• 1:05
  Erin Gray: So we're going to talk about a little bit of Frankie's journey with her money story, how she's been able to transform that getting into the body, how she helps clients get into the body and whatever else comes up.
• 1:18
  Erin Gray: So thank you, frankie, for joining me and for coming on today.
• 1:24
  Frankie Socash: So yeah, thank you, erin, happy to be here.
• 1:26
  Erin Gray: Yeah.
• 1:26
  Erin Gray: So let's dive in first, if you're open to it, you want to share cause.
• 1:30
  Erin Gray: One of the things that I always talk or wanted to have with my podcast is like to for it to be like raw and real and vulnerable.
• 1:36
  Erin Gray: And so sharing your, because I think the more we can talk about money, the more that more people that can say you know what hey, me too, you know, like I have had, had, have had or currently, you know, continue to have some money stories or beliefs that come up that um, and so we get to see like we're not the only ones right.
• 1:55
  Erin Gray: So if you're willing to share just a little bit about your money story, beliefs, things of that sort and sort, and then how you've been able to transform them, yeah, absolutely.
• 2:07
  Frankie Socash: I guess I've always been like I grew up very disassociated from money.
• 2:13
  Frankie Socash: I think I grew up in primarily a female dominated home, where so my mother was, or my grandmother was, the matriarch, where she had you, you know, she took care of everybody and didn't really have a lot of masculine or male presence or influence.
• 2:31
  Frankie Socash: And I think that, even though it wasn't talked about, there was kind of this unspoken language of like, in order to be like a strong woman, or be a powerful woman, like you need to take control of your finances and you need to be the moneymaker, you need to be the breadwinner.
• 2:47
  Frankie Socash: And you know, I've actually been reflecting on that pretty recently.
• 2:54
  Frankie Socash: Like my grandmother, she always had money.
• 2:57
  Frankie Socash: You know, she paid off her home, she bought cars with cash and, like always had money.
• 3:03
  Frankie Socash: But yet when you asked her, oh no, no, I don't have money, nope, nope, don't have money, but yet her, I know her bank account is, is, is an abundance, and we always had everything that we needed, and but it was like this mindset of like always save your money, and that was one thing that she, like talked to me, like told me, and that was one thing that she, like talked to me like told me, oh, going up was like, save your money, save your money, save your money.
• 3:27
  Frankie Socash: And I remember being a little kid and like getting birthday money or like lunch money, even to the point where I had hundreds of dollars as like a young kid, just like stashed away and and and you know, I don't know why they were so surprised when they found that and I'm like, what do I do with all this money?
• 3:49
  Frankie Socash: And so they got me a bank account and, you know, started saving my money and putting it away.
• 3:54
  Frankie Socash: But even as I got older, like that still continued to linger.
• 3:59
  Frankie Socash: Like it didn't matter how much money I had in my bank account or how much money I had anywhere, what kind of assets I had.
• 4:04
  Frankie Socash: I always had this mentality of like I don't have enough, I don't have money Like I would.
• 4:09
  Frankie Socash: That was like a recurring story and it kept me from actually being able to like go and do things that I wanted to do.
• 4:16
  Frankie Socash: And and I say it was very disassociated because, like I remember at a certain point getting on my like opening up a bank account, app right, and like going to check how much money I had in my account and while I always had enough money.
• 4:36
  Frankie Socash: There was always this anxiety that would come up of like, like, this really fearful of like, oh no, what's it gonna be like?
• 4:42
  Frankie Socash: What like?
• 4:43
  Frankie Socash: What is it?
• 4:43
  Frankie Socash: What's going to happen?
• 4:44
  Frankie Socash: And and it was all.
• 4:47
  Frankie Socash: It was disassociated because I would avoid it at all costs to even know how much was in there.
• 4:52
  Frankie Socash: But I knew that if I just kept saying I don't have money and acted as if I didn't have any money, then I would always have money like stored away for a rainy day.
• 5:02
  Frankie Socash: So it's just kind of this weird.
• 5:04
  Frankie Socash: You know, I like, I'm grateful for the importance of it, but at the same time it really was limiting and created this belief of like I don't have money and then I believe that about myself, that I didn't have any money so, and also in the body too, right, like.
• 5:24
  Erin Gray: Like what I think about, too is like what that created in the body, because I wrote down, like poverty consciousness and I say this a lot.
• 5:33
  Erin Gray: It's like what I have noticed is people that have wealth have a very poverty conscious.
• 5:39
  Erin Gray: Now I'm going to say mindset, but really it's like in the body.
• 5:42
  Erin Gray: You feel like you don't have enough money, right, Like there's never enough money.
• 5:46
  Erin Gray: And if you were to talk to people and then look at their bank accounts, you would be like those two stories do not match up in the slightest, but that is how they feel.
• 5:57
  Erin Gray: That's how I felt.
• 5:57
  Erin Gray: Like what you're describing is how I felt, right, Like you feel like you don't have enough and it keeps you from doing things.
• 6:04
  Erin Gray: Because we've been maybe it's a societal thing, I for sure think it's like you know parental or caretaking, right, Like brought up, like what you have isn't enough, Like there has to be.
• 6:14
  Erin Gray: It has to get to a different number in order for you to.
• 6:16
  Erin Gray: But then we're always just like moving the goalpost, right.
• 6:19
  Erin Gray: So it's like no matter how much I had accumulated in all the things, it was like it wasn't ever enough, Right.
• 6:27
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, totally.
• 6:27
  Frankie Socash: Um, couple of things come up.
• 6:29
  Frankie Socash: I just recently had a conversation with someone and she was like I'm so tired of being broke, so tired of being poor, and I was like you live in a million dollar home.
• 6:38
  Frankie Socash: What are you what?
• 6:42
  Frankie Socash: What does that mean?
• 6:44
  Frankie Socash: What like what?
• 6:44
  Frankie Socash: What does that mean?
• 6:45
  Frankie Socash: What like, what exactly does that mean?
• 6:47
  Frankie Socash: It's like like getting really really clear on, like the stories that we're telling ourselves and then realizing, like, like we are poor because of the stories that we tell ourselves.
• 6:58
  Frankie Socash: Yes, right, it's nothing more, and it's almost like a made made up concept of being rich or being poor.
• 7:08
  Frankie Socash: It's really just a mindset and, depending on what story you want to tell and what story you want to believe in, yes, everyone grew up with some kind of money story and some of them maybe got a really awesome money story that you know know, set them up for life and I think, like you know, maybe a majority of our, our world, comes from this money story of lack and and I don't have enough, and whether or not that is by design, you know from from the makers of money, you know, because I very much think it is in order to keep this cycle continuing, keep people in the rat race and keep people going to their 95 and going to their job and wanting more and more money.
• 7:55
  Frankie Socash: And it's like, it's almost like an addiction to write like 100%, Like you're, you're like chasing after this high, like as soon as I get this amount of money, I'll be able to breathe, like I'll feel so good, I'll be able to relax, I'll be able to like enjoy life.
• 8:11
  Frankie Socash: But then, how many times do we actually make it to those milestones, those financial milestones?
• 8:19
  Frankie Socash: But yet we're still in contraction, we're still in fight or flight, we're still like eating more and more and more, like it's never enough, and so it's like we're chasing the wrong thing.
• 8:31
  Frankie Socash: It's not, it should never be about the money that like we want, and it's not even the money that we really want, right, like, why do you?
• 8:39
  Frankie Socash: Why, like, in talking to people and they're like oh, I really just want.
• 8:42
  Frankie Socash: You know, I just want money because I want to pay my bills.
• 8:45
  Frankie Socash: But why do you want to pay bills?
• 8:46
  Frankie Socash: So I can spend time with my kids, yeah, so I can enjoy life, so I can go on vacation, so I can be happy.
• 8:52
  Frankie Socash: Like it all, like it all really boils down to being happy.
• 8:55
  Frankie Socash: It's like well, what would happen if we were just happy?
• 8:59
  Frankie Socash: Like are you?
• 9:07
  Frankie Socash: Do you still need all that money?
• 9:08
  Frankie Socash: Yes, of course we need money to survive and thrive and pay bills and, you know, keep water running and the electricity on.
• 9:11
  Frankie Socash: But like, when it like boils down to it, it's all just happiness, like that's all we really want and the safety and security that we think it's going to give us.
• 9:19
  Erin Gray: Right, like that's what I, you know, um.
• 9:22
  Erin Gray: When you're saying about like how okay, it's just been time with my kids.
• 9:26
  Erin Gray: Or it's like I, you know, um.
• 9:26
  Erin Gray: When you're saying about like how okay, it's just been time with my kids.
• 9:28
  Erin Gray: Or it's like noticing where you already have those things in your life, like that was something that I had to really, like start focusing on.
• 9:34
  Erin Gray: It's like, okay, if you wanted more money, you would travel more.
• 9:37
  Erin Gray: Okay, well, what is it's like?
• 9:38
  Erin Gray: Really peeling back this onion of like okay, if I traveled more.
• 9:42
  Erin Gray: What is that feeling?
• 9:43
  Erin Gray: Cause we're always either going towards a feeling or trying to like run away or avoid a feeling right, like everything that we, that we do, and it's like, okay, what does travel give you?
• 9:51
  Erin Gray: It's like the freedom, okay, well, what does freedom actually feel like in your body?
• 9:56
  Erin Gray: Right, and I think this takes like slowing down and asking yourself questions and like what is freedom?
• 10:02
  Erin Gray: Freedoms, like I just get to do whatever I want whenever I want, okay, but like go even deeper, you know.
• 10:07
  Erin Gray: And it's just this, like getting clear on, like why do we want what we want?
• 10:13
  Erin Gray: Like I think, like you're saying like we've been so programmed to want all of these things.
• 10:17
  Erin Gray: It's like, first of all, is that even what you want?
• 10:19
  Erin Gray: And two, you know, like, if I agree with you 100%, like on the lot, because if, if you have, if you feel sufficient, if you feel like everything is, then what are you buying?
• 10:31
  Erin Gray: What are you not to say that we wouldn't buy things right, but like we can't, the you know society can't sell you stuff or tell you that things you need to get things.
• 10:40
  Erin Gray: If you feel like I'm totally, you know, like fine, fine, within you know what I mean Like I don't need to.
• 10:47
  Erin Gray: It's one thing to go on vacation, cause we want to go on vacation, because it's just who we are and it's just fun to explore and that type of thing.
• 10:55
  Erin Gray: It's another to like think I have to go on vacation because I need this, because this part of me is missing or I'm lacking this feeling, you know.
• 11:02
  Erin Gray: So, um, tell me, was it like an evolution for you over time, or was there like an aha moment where you were like, hang on a second.
• 11:12
  Erin Gray: No matter how much money I have, I still don't feel any safer, freer, having fun.
• 11:33
  Frankie Socash: I'd say that it was.
• 11:33
  Frankie Socash: It's an evolution, for sure I'm.
• 11:34
  Frankie Socash: I just I'm thinking about how it was kind of like a pendulum swing.
• 11:35
  Frankie Socash: Like I, you know, I got my first job at 15 and I loved making money.
• 11:39
  Frankie Socash: I loved having money, but I would have never admitted it and for whatever reason.
• 11:47
  Frankie Socash: But I was I've always been like pretty driven and motivated by money.
• 11:51
  Frankie Socash: And you know, I think like when I was younger, they'd give me money if I was good, if I was a good girl or whatever you know did what I was told.
• 11:58
  Frankie Socash: And I was like, oh, okay, Well, like I, I like making money and and I like being able to do what I want to do.
• 12:06
  Frankie Socash: Like it drove me crazy growing up and they'd be like, oh, we don't have money for that, and it's like, well, why not?
• 12:11
  Frankie Socash: Like you're you work, you're you work all the time, how do we not have money for that?
• 12:15
  Frankie Socash: And so I grew up with kind of this like like I'm hungry for money, but I also want money to like do what I want to do.
• 12:23
  Frankie Socash: So I definitely spent a good portion of my like teens and my twenties like working my ass off so that way I could go travel and live abroad and go to festivals and go party and do all the things I wanted to do.
• 12:40
  Frankie Socash: You know, like I wanted to like live, I wasn't going to wait until I was 60 or whatever Like I wanted to do.
• 12:43
  Frankie Socash: You know, like I wanted to like live, I wasn't gonna wait until I was 60, or whatever like I wanted to to do it now and like, and meanwhile I was very like it was all kind of about money, like I needed to make money in order to support this lifestyle.
• 12:55
  Frankie Socash: And then I think you know it's kind of interesting because I kind of found myself very deeply involved in in a in the spiritual community, and I think what I found was that, even though there were still these, this like these threads or like foundation of we need money, we need money, we need money, there was this kind of unspoken agreement of like money's bad in the spiritual community.
• 13:25
  Frankie Socash: Money's bad yeah, like it's kind of frowned upon.
• 13:31
  Frankie Socash: Or you're not spiritual if you have a lot of money.
• 13:33
  Frankie Socash: You're not spiritual if you like go after a lot of money.
• 13:37
  Frankie Socash: So it's just kind of this weird twisted like all for reality, you know, like nothing is real and we are beyond it, or like trying to fall on it.
• 13:48
  Frankie Socash: And I think, like I definitely went that path a bit of I don't need money and kind of sacrificed much really sent me to like fight or flight, like really really like me in a space like I'm not okay, like I'm not okay if I don't have the money in my bank account, but like I think I was trying to challenge that belief, but in a way that wasn't really supportive to my body, my nervous system and it like then I would I like freak out, like go do something, go find some random job or try, try to figure something out, like last minute, in this state of survival, to try to, because I know, because I'm fine and and that wasn't really healthy either.
• 14:44
  Frankie Socash: And so I think, like a couple years ago, when I broke away from from this community, um and the community, like there was just this disassociation of like from physical reality and it's like well, I came to earth to be like I am flat right and and I like and and I also believe that in order to all any like you have to go through it.
• 15:14
  Frankie Socash: In order to change the financial system, you gotta go, be a part of it and through it.
• 15:20
  Frankie Socash: You can't like ignore it.
• 15:23
  Frankie Socash: Which I have people are trying to do is like ignoring these systems and ignoring these issues and just hoping that one day it's going to go away or maybe a meteor is like shoot from out of the sky and like blast it apart and then we can just start from scratch.
• 15:39
  Frankie Socash: It's like that's not going to work either.
• 15:41
  Frankie Socash: Like we have to.
• 15:42
  Frankie Socash: We have to like be a part of these systems and be a part.
• 15:45
  Frankie Socash: We have to like be a part.
• 15:47
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, yeah, exactly, that's the and so that's kind of what got like me and Ian and my partner Ian, like on that path of like.
• 15:57
  Frankie Socash: Well, like, what is money?
• 15:59
  Frankie Socash: What is this purpose of money?
• 16:00
  Frankie Socash: What is this financial system?
• 16:02
  Frankie Socash: What are these systems that are in place that are hindering people and really understanding, like, what money really is?
• 16:09
  Frankie Socash: What is the banking system?
• 16:13
  Frankie Socash: How does the banking system work?
• 16:15
  Frankie Socash: You know what?
• 16:17
  Frankie Socash: Who is the federal reserve and what is their relationship to congress, what is their relationship to the US government?
• 16:24
  Frankie Socash: And like, uncovering these things that I don't think a lot of people really know, and and, and you know, I think, really trying to overcome the whole, like you know, like well, we'll vote this person into this position and then they'll take care of it, and it's like no, like I think, position and then they'll take care of it.
• 16:46
  Frankie Socash: And it's like no, like I think if I learned anything from COVID was that I like I have responsibility and if I see a problem in the world, then it's my responsibility to to do something.
• 16:54
  Frankie Socash: And and so I like I feel like that's kind of what really like really ignited the um, you know, being able to change my relationship with money.
• 17:06
  Frankie Socash: It's like, and if I want to change it, I got to like dive into it.
• 17:12
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I came from the 3d world.
• 17:14
  Erin Gray: You know, like 20 plus years of being, like you call it 3d, right, like I really wasn't very spiritual.
• 17:20
  Erin Gray: And then, over the last four or five years, if you want to call it like when I say spiritual, like connected to myself, there is a higher power, there is like whatever we believe in god, spirit, source, whatever and realizing like, oh, these two things have to marry, they have to coexist.
• 17:37
  Erin Gray: Like you can't be in the 3d world and and not think that there is something that is not believe in something that's bigger.
• 17:47
  Erin Gray: That's like the emotional side of it, right, the spiritual side of money, and you can't be in the in, for what I've been talking to from other people that have maybe have come from the spiritual world is like, but you can't be in the spiritual world and being like everything's rainbows and daisies and I'm not saying that life isn't rainbows and daisies, right, but like we are a human on the material plane in 3d form, like we are meant to have money, have fun, enjoy our life, right, and I think both sides in there for lack of a better word, not of highest vibration is is in a way of trying to control, right, um, or I don't like the word trying to control, because we always have free will, but like using their way to like 3d, trying to not think that there's an emotional part of it, right, like where we, where are we, misguiding people?
• 18:40
  Erin Gray: And then the spiritual side of thinking like we're not meant to have money and we're meant to be poor, like that's not, that's not the answer either, you know, and um, that's one thing that I've really noticed of how often I have so many thoughts about the healthcare system and we're not going there today.
• 18:58
  Erin Gray: That could be a whole other topic for another reason, but really like you, frankie, of recognizing recognizing, like hang on a second, because here's something else that I noticed so many people that I have talked to or have friends with have lots and lots of money in 401ks and they talk like they are absolutely destitute.
• 19:19
  Erin Gray: And what started, I think, as a way in the 3D world to empower us to start having our money doing things.
• 19:26
  Erin Gray: We have allowed the banking system, our advisors, 401k systems, all of that, like what you're saying, to what's the word I want to?
• 19:36
  Frankie Socash: use.
• 19:37
  Erin Gray: To disempower ourselves, I guess is a good word to say right, and really start to pick apart like no, hang on a second, Like it's still your money, maybe you have to.
• 19:45
  Erin Gray: To pick apart like no, hang on a second, like it's still your money.
• 19:46
  Erin Gray: Maybe you have to pay taxes, but like you have money, like you were talking about the lady, like I have a you know I'm broke, but she thinks, like you live in a house, you probably have lots of assets, right?
• 19:55
  Erin Gray: Like the way that we're thinking about money, um, is causing us to stay in this disempowered position or situation, you know.
• 20:06
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, yeah, totally.
• 20:08
  Frankie Socash: It's kind of interesting, Cause I feel like we're like kind of hitting on something that I don't know.
• 20:16
  Frankie Socash: I kind of I kind of want to like ring it out a little bit more, but it's like this financial system was designed in a way to not necessarily like like it.
• 20:28
  Frankie Socash: It doesn't really have our best interest.
• 20:30
  Frankie Socash: It has certain people's best interest.
• 20:34
  Frankie Socash: Yes, and that's a good way to put it and corporations best interest, but like for human, like humans, like society as a whole, like the average people, it doesn't have its best interest, but in order for it to continue and in order for it to work properly, we need, like it needs people to follow the system, buy into the system.
• 20:57
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, yeah, and then so it's like like everyone gives away their power to these people who know about it, but ultimately it's they're like kind of giving information just to keep them, keep them going On the wheel, on the hamster wheel, yeah, yeah, and it's scary, it's like holy shit, like like like realizing it and just being like wow, like that is, you know, I don't know, the biggest scam.
• 21:28
  Frankie Socash: Like people want to talk about scams.
• 21:30
  Frankie Socash: I want to talk about, like pyramid schemes and I'm like our entire financial system is built on that.
• 21:37
  Erin Gray: Yeah, yeah, and when you really start and here we go back to, like, slowing down, starting to ask questions, like I feel like a lot of people are in such a fight flight, freeze, what, what, what do you call that?
• 21:53
  Erin Gray: Like I always say, survival that's what I use is like a survival based state of being right.
• 21:57
  Erin Gray: Like you're in this, like rush, go to work, do the thing.
• 22:00
  Erin Gray: And it's like if, if, working hard and saving you know, $400 a month now, over time, would it get you to a million dollars?
• 22:09
  Erin Gray: Yes, but like, if that really worked, then we would have a lot more wealthy people, right, and it doesn't.
• 22:16
  Erin Gray: And, and we, we, just we have these systems and we don't even question, like, okay, wait a second.
• 22:24
  Erin Gray: The person that's giving the advice.
• 22:26
  Erin Gray: They didn't save their way to there, right, they had businesses or they had like there's other things that they have done to create the wealth in a fast amount of time, or whatever it might be.
• 22:37
  Erin Gray: Um, and, and it's just fascinating to I think we can go on autopilot and we don't start, we don't question, because here we go back to also, it's like, who are you hanging around?
• 22:51
  Erin Gray: Is everyone around you in those same beliefs, or are you asking and questioning Like what do I want my belief to be?
• 22:58
  Erin Gray: What do I want my life to look like?
• 22:59
  Erin Gray: Is this actually, you know?
• 23:02
  Erin Gray: And here we go back to like being disempowered.
• 23:04
  Erin Gray: It's like if, if someone wants to work nine to five, all four right, like I support that.
• 23:12
  Erin Gray: But are you supporting yourself on nine to five or are you helping build somebody else's?
• 23:19
  Erin Gray: you know, dream empire, whatever it might be Right, and, and there are going to be people that are listening like hey, maybe I do want to just be, you know, nine to five and that's okay.
• 23:31
  Erin Gray: But like understanding your reasons for that, not from the sense of like I can't do business, Like I've heard that a lot, like oh, I could never be a business owner, I could never, you know, like um, and so just really starting to question, like where are these beliefs coming from?
• 23:46
  Erin Gray: Do I, what is by this belief?
• 23:48
  Erin Gray: What is it creating in my life, and do I want to keep this belief?
• 23:51
  Frankie Socash: You know, yeah, I, I you said it earlier and I you.
• 23:57
  Frankie Socash: What did you say?
• 23:58
  Frankie Socash: Like is this belief even mine?
• 24:00
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, and I think that's such a good question to ask ourselves.
• 24:06
  Frankie Socash: Like is this belief even mine?
• 24:08
  Frankie Socash: And if not, where did it come from?
• 24:10
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, and if not, like, what do I believe?
• 24:13
  Frankie Socash: And then it like opens up so many more possibilities and so many more like creative ways to to build your life and for, and then inspires other people to do the same, which I think is like really what we need right now.
• 24:27
  Erin Gray: Yeah, it's funny because I, you know, like, as my daughter, she's getting our daughter, she's, you know, 12, she's like asking questions and things of that sort, and we talked to her about you know all kinds of things with money and she was asking something.
• 24:40
  Erin Gray: I think we were talking about credit score, cause I just and I brought that up and and I was telling her, like what are the things that they kind of judge you on?
• 24:50
  Erin Gray: When I say judge you Like, what are the factors?
• 24:52
  Erin Gray: Right, and I'm like, and we're a country with, like I don't even know how many trillions of debt, right, like, like the, the idea, like when you have to explain it to a 12 year old and the 12 year old's like that makes no sense and I'm like I know like it doesn't make sense, right, um, and so like, really like, kind of almost in a way of like looking at it through like a beginner's mind or a child's eyes, right, like if you were learning for this for the first time, like you have, you know, a system that's telling you X, y, z, and yet that system is so far in debt, or so you know, it's just like it's crazy to think about.
• 25:28
  Erin Gray: So, um, I wanted to ask you, in terms of, like, getting into the body, what have been some of your tools and tips that either you have used for yourself to get into the body, because I think money can be, even though it's an emotional thing.
• 25:43
  Erin Gray: We try to look at it from a very logical standpoint, but it is a very emotional thing that we experience.
• 25:51
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, totally, totally.
• 25:53
  Frankie Socash: It's not like, like, because, like this thing of money, like it's connected to emotions, but it's also like, very much connected to survival yes, money to survive.
• 26:04
  Frankie Socash: And so therefore, we're talking to like a completely different part of the brain, right, the survival reptilian amygdala part of the brain, rather than the logical, analytical like.
• 26:15
  Frankie Socash: I just need to do x, y and z like those.
• 26:18
  Frankie Socash: You can't talk to those two parts of the brain the same.
• 26:21
  Frankie Socash: They speak a different language, yeah, yeah, and I like the, the survival brain, like, or talking to the subconscious, like, like going through the body, I believe is like, is like the direct, the direct right, like that's, that's how you, that's how you access that area and how you can create, like long lasting change, um, in the body, but also in the mind too.
• 26:48
  Frankie Socash: And so for me personally, um, you know, I'm really grateful that I spent a decade touching thousands of bodies and working as a massage therapist and working as a body worker and studying various modalities.
• 27:06
  Erin Gray: When you say body worker for those listening, what do you mean by that exactly?
• 27:10
  Frankie Socash: So body worker is just kind of like a, like a term that is all encompassing, cause, like a massage therapist can be maybe really specific to like a Swedish massage, like a really basic massage.
• 27:21
  Frankie Socash: When I say body worker, like I was, I was practicing, I was integrating Reiki and Thai massage, connective tissue, myofascial, so I had kind of this platter of different modalities that I would use so that it's like body worker is like on the table, off the table, gotcha, okay.
• 27:41
  Frankie Socash: So yeah, I started.
• 27:44
  Frankie Socash: I started working in my early 20s and just had the blessing of being able to work on 1000s of different bodies and after touching so many bodies, you really start to to learn the language of the body and how the body responds and how the body interacts, and so it just it drew me in and really got me in touch with my own body, like going to massage school.
• 28:08
  Frankie Socash: You get body work every single day and that, you know, cracked open a can of worms for me just from the get-go and kind of initiated my journey with the and then getting into yoga, like I did a yoga teacher retreat and and I think like while I was going through this and I was, um, like I remember this is going to be kind of off topic, but I'm going to try to weave it back in.
• 28:44
  Frankie Socash: Um, there was a moment in time where I really wanted to like travel solo, but I was terrified.
• 28:51
  Frankie Socash: I was really scared in my body, my body was really scared, and so I had bought this truck and I started going out and camping by myself and I'd camp with like a fricking ax or something Like I had.
• 29:04
  Frankie Socash: Like I didn't have a gun, I wasn't into guns, but like I felt better with an ax and like I remember the first time I did it, I was petrified, like I couldn't sleep, my heart was pounding and any noise like my body would flinch, and I noticed like that.
• 29:22
  Frankie Socash: I think that moment was like wow, like there's something going on and I'm feeling it in my body, like it's because of my body that I can't quite relax, and so that was maybe the moment where I realized like I need to be able to go into the body, I need to be able to send myself into these situations and be able to work through it in order to liberate it.
• 29:45
  Frankie Socash: Right, like how we were talking about transcending things.
• 29:47
  Frankie Socash: You got to like go into it.
• 29:48
  Frankie Socash: It's the same with the body.
• 29:50
  Frankie Socash: It's the same with trauma, it's the same with a trigger.
• 29:53
  Frankie Socash: Like you got to be able to like go into it and feel it in order to be able to send and liberate it.
• 29:59
  Frankie Socash: And so there was some there was.
• 30:05
  Frankie Socash: There was kind of like this practice that I did Um, I think we mentioned like opening up a bank account online and like it would create a physical response in my body.
• 30:16
  Frankie Socash: And as the body worker and like kind of scientist, and I'm like what is that, you know?
• 30:22
  Frankie Socash: And I'm like okay, I'm gonna pull up my, I'm gonna pull up the bank account app and like like, oh, what is that feeling?
• 30:29
  Frankie Socash: Like what is that?
• 30:30
  Frankie Socash: Like I feel something tugging at my gut and I think a of times, like sometimes when I'm talking to clients or I'm talking to people and I'm like, well, what does that feel like in the body?
• 30:41
  Frankie Socash: And they're like, um, yeah, and they're looking up and it's like what are you looking up there for?
• 30:49
  Frankie Socash: You know, like your body's down here, like we're talking sensation, like what is the sensation in the body?
• 30:54
  Frankie Socash: And the more that we're able to track it, and the more that we're talking sensation Like what is the sensation in the body and the more that we're able to track it and the more that we're able to like, lean into and be able to find the patterns.
• 31:02
  Frankie Socash: The body is speaking in this way.
• 31:05
  Frankie Socash: Where it's like you can, you can like, map it and find it.
• 31:07
  Frankie Socash: And so, for an example, like in opening up the bank account app, like I think one of the things was like my breathing would get really shallow, like I'd feel like a tightness, like I couldn't really breathe.
• 31:20
  Erin Gray: Yeah, it's almost like I stopped breathing.
• 31:22
  Erin Gray: It was like if I noticed it was just like I would just not take an inhale.
• 31:27
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, and so, as like in body work, if you find something you know somewhere in the tissue, somewhere in the body where it's a little bit like tight, or even like when you're stretching a muscle right and it's tight, you want to like lean into it, you want to put a little bit of pressure, and so, taking that knowledge, I'd open up my bank account app and I'd feel this tightness in my, in my breathing, and so I I'd like practice, I'd like it'd be like doing exercises right, like how can, how deeply can I breathe in this moment while I'm doing something that is triggering to my body and creating this like response?
• 32:07
  Frankie Socash: That was uncomfortable and it would have been easier for me to just delete the app, get off, not get like, not even touch it, not even go there, and I think that's what a lot of us are conditioned to do is to like just avoid it all completely.
• 32:20
  Frankie Socash: But in my opinion, that feels really disempowering and I want to be able to open up my app.
• 32:26
  Frankie Socash: I want to be able to check and see how much money I have and be like cool, maybe you know regardless of what the number is.
• 32:34
  Frankie Socash: Right, yeah, like, oh great, like I'm good, let's go on vacation or like, start thinking about ways I can start bringing in more money, like whatever it is.
• 32:44
  Frankie Socash: And so, just getting into those places where I'd feel tight and feel contracted or feel scared, how can I bring more space into that as difficult and ugly space into that as difficult and ugly and uncomfortable as it is, like how can I breathe a little bit deeper, how can I, like it's and it's almost like lifting weights, you know, you want to it, it's work, it feels like work, it can be like physical, physical work to to be able to do it.
• 33:10
  Frankie Socash: And so that was kind of what got me into like more somatic experiencing and somatic practices and leading me more into like this embodiment aspect of it of like you know, I, I like, I want to, I I'm kind of just like realizing, like, like I never really I feel like I just had a mini realization and something that I'd know, but but like when it lands in the body it's different.
• 34:01
  Frankie Socash: And like, like this whole time I've always been very money driven and and like wanting, wanting, wanting money, wanting money.
• 34:10
  Frankie Socash: And then I went through this period of like I don't want any money and then coming back to like no, I do want money, but like is it really the money that I want?
• 34:20
  Frankie Socash: Like what is it?
• 34:22
  Frankie Socash: And I feel like I just felt it in my body.
• 34:24
  Frankie Socash: It just like like I can breathe a little bit bit bigger, like I can like hold my shoulders apart, like I can say that I'm rich, like I'm a rich woman.
• 34:33
  Frankie Socash: I'm a rich like I don't have millions of dollars I don't have you know what some people would attribute it to but like I have so much joy, I have so much fun, I have so many loved ones, I have the pleasure of getting to connect with people like you and like doing the work that fills me up and love, yeah, and like that's what.
• 34:56
  Frankie Socash: That's what like being rich is to me.
• 34:58
  Frankie Socash: I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want.
• 35:01
  Erin Gray: However, I want I wrote down several things Cause I want to go back and I'm like, oh, this is tearing me up because I want to hit.
• 35:08
  Erin Gray: I want to hit this part right here, cause I have full body chills and, for those of you that are listening and not watching, like I'm tearing up, because what I realized is it wasn't the amount of wealth that I actually wanted to accumulate, it was being able to do it on demand and be a huge conduit for money, like you were going back and you were talking about.
• 35:29
  Erin Gray: Like you know, are these beliefs mine?
• 35:31
  Erin Gray: It's like part of the financial industry teaches you to save and invest for retirement.
• 35:35
  Erin Gray: I'm like, but if I have, you know what I love, like call it a job or whatever you know, like business, whatever you know, like, if I'm doing what I love and I am having the amount of money that I have and I'm enjoying it, and I like, what am I stockpiling it for?
• 35:52
  Erin Gray: Like truly abundant, for in my definition is everything you said and also I can create it on demand.
• 35:59
  Erin Gray: Anything that I want, I can create it in the moment.
• 36:01
  Erin Gray: You know, right in the moment, to have what I want from a because why are we stockpiling money?
• 36:07
  Erin Gray: Like, where does that come from?
• 36:09
  Erin Gray: Again, right, like, starting to ask ourselves these questions like, where was I taught?
• 36:13
  Erin Gray: Because I was taught you, you, you accumulate money because then you're going to some point in time, not work, which that might be true, but, like, I think we're creative beings, I think the humanness in us wants to be able to continue to create and to do right, teaching people now to save and that this is all the amount of money that they're going to have.
• 36:36
  Erin Gray: And when retirement, like you've got to hoard it, you've got to protect it, you've got to make sure, and then, if we're thinking about we're going to pass it on to our children, it's like, but we need to teach our children that they can generate money on demand.
• 36:50
  Erin Gray: Right, like we don't need to pass down legacy and legacy and legacy.
• 36:51
  Erin Gray: Right, like Warren Buffett not giving hardly any of his money Although my child thinks it's crazy not to give any of his money to his children.
• 36:56
  Erin Gray: Right, but he's like he's not giving any of it to his family.
• 36:59
  Erin Gray: Right, he's giving it away.
• 37:00
  Erin Gray: You know, like this idea that, like we have to accumulate this money and we have to protect it and we have to preserve it.
• 37:09
  Erin Gray: Right, but like, if we do work we love, if we are enjoying our life right now, like now, like, what are we?
• 37:17
  Erin Gray: What are we doing with all of this?
• 37:19
  Erin Gray: And if we are a conduit for money, right, like we do, we really want to have a lot of money or do we just want us to allow money to move through us, you know?
• 37:30
  Erin Gray: Um, so that's what came to me.
• 37:33
  Erin Gray: And then also, when you talk about like it's a practice, like I always say, it's like dead lifting or whatever working out, right, like the reason why it feels uncomfortable in our body when we open our bank account this is me, old me is because it wasn't a practice for me, right, my practice.
• 37:48
  Erin Gray: I was really good at being either hypervigilant, stressing, stressing, stressing or highly avoidant, right.
• 37:54
  Erin Gray: And so, like you're saying, when I sat down, or what I would think about opening the bank account, or when I got to the point when I would open it, and then it was just too intense in our bodies, I have a book called I think it's called breaking free and money beliefs.
• 38:06
  Erin Gray: I'll put it in the show notes, but he talks about in that moment, exactly what you're saying, frankie, in the moment when you have that come up, whatever you feel in that sensation, your body like, can you stay with it?
• 38:18
  Erin Gray: And to the level like, if it's on a hundred percent right, that is the level of our power that we are, you know, regaining back, basically Right.
• 38:26
  Erin Gray: And so maybe in the beginning maybe we can only do 20%, so there's still 80% there that we, we can go towards.
• 38:33
  Erin Gray: And this is where I love your thoughts on like, okay, where's, like, our window of tolerance and nervous system regulation, because I do think too much Sometimes we can almost like rubber band and it just, you know, shuts us down.
• 38:46
  Erin Gray: And also like, what is the practice of like?
• 38:49
  Erin Gray: For me it was like, okay, every single week I'm going to sit down and I'm just going to look at my bank account and I'm just going to notice those sensations in my body.
• 38:56
  Erin Gray: And you know what, when the shame comes, I'm just going to feel the shame, right, because I was so conditioned to not feel shame.
• 39:02
  Erin Gray: And what I think we do sometimes is we use money as a way to not feel shame.
• 39:06
  Erin Gray: I'll just work more, I'll just make more money.
• 39:18
  Frankie Socash: I just, you know, we'll save more, because then I feel what those underlying feelings that I have already within me, yeah, but then also perpetuating the shame, yeah, totally yeah.
• 39:22
  Frankie Socash: This is a really good point.
• 39:24
  Frankie Socash: It's like when, when people go and work out right, like deadlifters or or just any kind of working out like you have these days where you go and you'll, you'll do the workout, but then there's generally a day where there's going to be a recovery or dates right, yeah, yep, because ultimately, when you're building muscle, there's like like tiny little, um, what would you call it Fibers that get torn, yeah, and they rebuild back, but they need time.
• 39:50
  Erin Gray: They need rest.
• 39:51
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, it's the same thing when you're working with the nervous system like there is a window of tolerance, like, and you, and it kind of becomes a place Like, like that's it's different for everybody.
• 40:04
  Frankie Socash: Yes, everyone has a very different like window of tolerance, and I think that's like the fun, that's the fun part, is being able to discover, like, what is your window of tolerance?
• 40:13
  Frankie Socash: Like, how far can you go until you know you're getting pushed over the edge, like and like, how can you, how can you dance with that Like, like and, and it's a practice, like you say, you know, it's like something that you continuously needs to come back to, like a couple of days a week or at least every week, and being able to explore these different places in your body, these different places in your, in your nervous system, in your emotional capacity, and that's also how we build capacity too.
• 40:41
  Frankie Socash: And so there's kind of like it's like pacing right, like you want to be able to lean into the discomfort, but not to the point where you're going to re-trigger, yeah, something, yeah, yeah, yeah, like.
• 40:55
  Frankie Socash: And it's like turning on a faucet right, like you don't want to turn it on full blast.
• 41:01
  Frankie Socash: How can we start like, how can we just barely turn on the faucet and like and start dripping, like, how can we just start dripping?
• 41:09
  Frankie Socash: It's like okay, like I got this, I'm able to process this.
• 41:12
  Frankie Socash: I'm able to bring these feelings and these emotions into my body and process it and until it moves away, neuroscience says that it takes about, I think, 90 seconds for an emotion to rise up into the body, until it's completely finished.
• 41:28
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, that's 90 seconds.
• 41:30
  Frankie Socash: That's nothing.
• 41:32
  Frankie Socash: It's nothing like like out of the whole day to just sit and allow an emotion to just move through us.
• 41:39
  Frankie Socash: But yet, you know, for various reasons, we, we fight it and we and we contract and we and we hold it off and we avoid it at all costs.
• 41:49
  Frankie Socash: And so I think, like you know, you brought up a really good point of like, like, like be a practice, like opening up the bank account once a week and letting it just be a thing that you work through, you know, and something that you like are consciously like sitting with and like I'm gonna work through this, I'm gonna sit with this.
• 42:06
  Frankie Socash: And I think that some people and you know I see it, you know I saw it a lot and like I worked with I don't know if you're familiar with, like plant medicines or ayahuasca or anything like that, haven't done it, but yeah, know of it things of that sort, read about it, yeah.
• 42:22
  Frankie Socash: I got to.
• 42:23
  Frankie Socash: I got to work very intimately with this medicine and like assist and co-facilitate several tens of, almost maybe even hundreds of ceremonies, and one thing was like people would come in and they just wanted to be blasted open, like that was like the intention of like just blast me open, like let's just get this over with, and it's like that's not how it works.
• 42:44
  Frankie Socash: First of all, that's not how it works.
• 42:46
  Frankie Socash: That's damaging to the nervous system, the peripheral nervous system.
• 42:50
  Frankie Socash: Like it's almost like an, like an electrical blowout.
• 42:54
  Frankie Socash: Like if there's too much energy that moves through the electrical system, the lights are going to blow.
• 42:59
  Frankie Socash: You're going to blow a fuse, which is what happens in the body.
• 43:03
  Frankie Socash: You can blow a fuse and then be stuck in this repetitive traumatic pattern and it's hard to get out of.
• 43:10
  Frankie Socash: Or maybe you're ungrounded, you're not in the body.
• 43:13
  Frankie Socash: There's all kinds of issues you know surfacing and and then people are really wondering like what is going on, what's happening?
• 43:20
  Frankie Socash: And it's like because you came in with this idea that you needed to like blow it all up to get it all over with, and that's not how it works, like we need to take it in like small digestible chunks, you know, and that and like it really comes down to like each person doing the work and being able to figure out their unique system, because everyone has a unique one.
• 43:44
  Frankie Socash: Everyone has different capacities to feel and to not feel, and so it's like where is yours, where are you on that spectrum, where's your ability and how can we start to like, dip our toe into the discomfort or the uncomfortable, and that will open and expand the capacity to be able to feel and experience and allow things to move a little bit more fluidly, more smoothly yeah, it's.
• 44:09
  Erin Gray: it's almost like a abdication of responsibility in that regard.
• 44:13
  Erin Gray: Like from that, you know, you know, like wanting plant if you're, you know, into that or wanting to do that.
• 44:18
  Erin Gray: It's like wanting plant medicine to take care of all of that for you.
• 44:22
  Erin Gray: Right, versus like no, this doesn't happen overnight.
• 44:25
  Erin Gray: This doesn't happen in three months At least, that's not what I have found Right, like this is years.
• 44:29
  Erin Gray: This is probably like our lifetime in the making.
• 44:32
  Erin Gray: Like this is just part of it.
• 44:33
  Erin Gray: And if we can look at it from that standpoint of like this is just part of it, like this is part of me being a human on this planet, me always transcending Cause for me.
• 44:44
  Erin Gray: I don't know about you, frankie, but it's like it keeps showing up.
• 44:46
  Erin Gray: For me it's just at the next level.
• 44:48
  Erin Gray: It's almost like super Mario game, right, like in order for me to get to next level, it's like, oh, here we go again.
• 44:52
  Erin Gray: And so, instead of you wrote down like, or you said fun, I wrote down fun.
• 44:56
  Erin Gray: Like with a window of tolerance, or like dancing with it, instead of me constantly being like why am I back here again?
• 45:02
  Erin Gray: Like I thought, like I used to think that, like, why am I still having this problem.
• 45:05
  Erin Gray: Right now, it's like oh, this is just what happens when it's time to you know it's time to you know, yeah, yeah, oh, I love this, I love this conversation.
• 45:22
  Frankie Socash: Um, like it.
• 45:22
  Frankie Socash: I'm always very skeptical of people who were like, oh, I've healed that.
• 45:26
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, oh, I've healed my money wounds.
• 45:29
  Frankie Socash: And I'm like, I mean maybe one aspect, one little thread of it.
• 45:36
  Frankie Socash: But, like you know, the master continues to to learn the lesson over and over and over again and like multiple different perspectives and views, right, and so I'm very much on on that side of like this is a life's work.
• 45:54
  Frankie Socash: Much on on that side of like this is a life's work.
• 45:59
  Frankie Socash: This is a a soul journey and I didn't come here to just learn something once.
• 46:02
  Frankie Socash: Like I, I came here to like really understand and and really learn and really like integrate that not just into my mind and but like into my body.
• 46:14
  Frankie Socash: Right, like I'm here to embody the lessons that I'm learning and that comes from being able to like, like and the body is like it's.
• 46:24
  Frankie Socash: The body is nature, the body is like such an animal, like it's like, it's like a, it's like a soft animal, like we have a rabbit.
• 46:34
  Frankie Socash: It's so interesting like talking, like interacting with the rabbit, and it reminds me of interacting with emotions and interacting with the nervous system, because you can't just like bust into the room and like grab the rabbit.
• 46:48
  Frankie Socash: You know it's not like a dog where I can like rough it up.
• 46:51
  Frankie Socash: You know it's like holy shit, like what are you doing?
• 46:54
  Frankie Socash: And that's like a majority.
• 46:56
  Frankie Socash: That's like.
• 46:56
  Frankie Socash: It's like holy shit, like what are you doing and that's like a majority.
• 46:59
  Frankie Socash: That's like, it's like.
• 47:03
  Frankie Socash: That's such a great analogy.
• 47:04
  Frankie Socash: It is like he teaches me so much, like if I go too much or I'm too fast, or like he doesn't like it, and I'm like like he really teaches me, like the sensitivity that I think everybody has.
• 47:14
  Frankie Socash: We've been so desensitized, just society, you know, and work, work, work, work, work and go, go, go, go, go and we we forget, but like they're like these aspects, like interacting with the nervous system, interacting with like you know people talk a lot about like inner child stuff, like it's very much like coming up to this rabbit, this little creature who picks up on everything, you know your own emotions, like if you, if you step too fast or if you step in the wrong place, like you really, it's like such a fine, delicate dance and like and like.
• 47:50
  Frankie Socash: That's what it is in communicating with these, like different subtle bodies of who we are and what we are with these like different subtle bodies of of who we are and what we are.
• 48:02
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I think you haven't said this yet.
• 48:02
  Erin Gray: We haven't said this yet because?
• 48:03
  Erin Gray: But you just said, like it's our soul's journey, right, like you came here to understand and embody the lessons and I think money is just the portal into our worthiness, deservedness, lovability.
• 48:14
  Erin Gray: Right, like we think we have money, air quotes, problems or issues or whatever, and like what we I believe what we really have is like what is our level of belief in our deservedness and worthiness and lovability?
• 48:28
  Erin Gray: You want to talk a little bit about that, or what your thoughts are on that are on that.
• 48:43
  Frankie Socash: It's really easy to like put it on someone else or something else.
• 48:45
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, what?
• 48:46
  Frankie Socash: What we feel is wrong with ourselves?
• 48:46
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, like, because of this person I am this way or because I don't have money, I am, I feel this way.
• 48:53
  Frankie Socash: You know.
• 48:54
  Frankie Socash: I think that again it like comes back to like the bypassing of like wanting to just like bypass all the issues to try to transcend it, but like, really, we got to like go back into it.
• 49:07
  Frankie Socash: And I think, a lot of times like, like I made a post, I don't know a couple weeks ago, a couple months, um, conversations of like, like, when it came to money, I just don't have enough, like I never have enough.
• 49:23
  Frankie Socash: I feel like I never have enough money.
• 49:24
  Frankie Socash: How come I never have enough money?
• 49:26
  Frankie Socash: I was like, well, and you know, like I I love putting things into my own body because I've been there I don't like, why don't I have enough?
• 49:35
  Frankie Socash: Why don't I have enough money?
• 49:37
  Frankie Socash: I never have enough money.
• 49:37
  Frankie Socash: Like, well, okay, if I don't have enough money.
• 49:41
  Frankie Socash: Like, where do I feel like I'm not enough?
• 49:44
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, where in my life do I feel like I'm not doing enough?
• 49:48
  Frankie Socash: What gives me this idea that what I'm doing is not enough.
• 49:53
  Frankie Socash: Who is telling me that I am not enough in the way that I am?
• 50:00
  Frankie Socash: And you know it's.
• 50:06
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, I think that, like, I really think that money is just like a like, it's a reflection and it's an extension as well, right of Of like what humans have created, and it only has value because we put value on it, because we all agreed, you know, we all were like yep, we're going to, we're going to put value on this and this, this is what this is, and I think we put a lot of value on things outside of ourselves, just like, naturally, like humans in general, you know, we put a lot of value on relationships.
• 50:49
  Frankie Socash: Like, again, when I'm in that relationship, like I'm going to feel so good, I'm going to be so happy, and, yeah, that relationship like I'm gonna yep, I'm gonna feel so good, I'm gonna be so happy, and or stability, security, and so, yeah, I guess I like to like for me, like, where do I feel inadequate?
• 51:20
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, where do I feel unstable and unstable and you know, this is why I really love yoga too, or this is even kind of like some of the stuff that I do on my own and some of the stuff that I encourage, like other people, how can you embody feeling inadequate?
• 51:45
  Frankie Socash: Like what if you were just to like, embody it?
• 51:47
  Frankie Socash: If you feel that way, like, own it?
• 51:50
  Frankie Socash: Like what?
• 51:52
  Frankie Socash: Like what if you just owned it right again to be able to like, transcend it?
• 51:56
  Frankie Socash: You got to go through it, yeah, and so some of my practices have been um, I was in theater when I was younger, and so I've always been a little bit of, a little bit of a of a theater nerd.
• 52:12
  Frankie Socash: Um, but like what?
• 52:17
  Frankie Socash: Like, let's say, um, like I felt really insecure when I didn't have a lot of money, when I didn't have the type of money, when I didn't have the type of money that I, that I wanted to, and so like what, like, what was that?
• 52:34
  Frankie Socash: What was that feeling?
• 52:35
  Frankie Socash: What was that like?
• 52:35
  Frankie Socash: And I thought it took me a while because on my own, I could go around and around in these circles of like, well, it feels like this and it feels like this, but it's like again, if an emotion takes only 90 seconds to process through the body, then why am I continuing to come back around and around and around and connected to the story, rather than actually embodying the thing itself?
• 52:59
  Frankie Socash: And so, for me.
• 53:01
  Frankie Socash: What I had to do was actually act out instability or act out inadequacy, like what does that look like?
• 53:11
  Frankie Socash: Who does who is if that, if that character?
• 53:14
  Frankie Socash: What would that character like look like?
• 53:18
  Frankie Socash: What would like?
• 53:18
  Frankie Socash: What would they doing?
• 53:20
  Frankie Socash: You know, and I'd get into it with, like, my, my facial features and like, but like, make myself sit in in it like and like squeeze it.
• 53:26
  Frankie Socash: You know, like really wring, make myself sit in in it like and like squeeze it.
• 53:28
  Frankie Socash: You know, like really wring it out in in my body and like really feel what it feels like to feel inadequate and it fucking sucks.
• 53:37
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, it's not a fun feeling and I think I don't.
• 53:43
  Frankie Socash: I don't know, I don't know if, if this is true for you or if it's true for everybody, but like people that I've talked to, like well, I'm scared, I'm gonna get stuck in it.
• 53:51
  Frankie Socash: I think a lot of people think that, yeah, it's like this fear that we're gonna get stuck in that, and it's like, well, technically we, like you, already are.
• 54:01
  Erin Gray: I was gonna say you already are, because we're just circling it over and over again.
• 54:04
  Erin Gray: You know exactly.
• 54:06
  Frankie Socash: Let's just call it what it is oh, oh, okay, you're right like, and that's kind of the it's like, that's kind of the light bulb moment is like, oh well, I'm already stuck in it.
• 54:16
  Frankie Socash: So what's what's gonna happen if, if I like really like go into it, like, well, you know, let's do it and find out.
• 54:28
  Frankie Socash: And I think sometimes, you know, sometimes like a, like a muscle can get a little bit stuck and sometimes you just need to like contract it and really squeeze it and then you're able to stretch it out to its full capacity.
• 54:40
  Frankie Socash: And it's the same thing, like how can you really get into it and like, conduct yourself into, like I feel inadequate, and do it for about 90 seconds, and then be able to come it and like, conduct yourself into, like I feel inadequate and do it for about 90 seconds, and then be able to come back and like, like, come back to the place where, where you can breathe and you're calm and you're and you're relaxed, like you want to be able to go back and forth, and that kind of comes back to like our capacity and like our window of capacity.
• 55:04
  Frankie Socash: It's like we just want to go in for a little bit.
• 55:06
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, because our ability to to like expand our capacity to feel the thing that we don't want to feel is also going to expand our capacity to feel its counterpart, the thing that we actually want to feel.
• 55:18
  Frankie Socash: And you can't find that opposite feeling if you don't, if you don't know, like, what inadequacy really feels like.
• 55:26
  Frankie Socash: Because we can name, like, like sometimes we don't always know what we want, but we can, we know what we don't want, and by naming what we don't want it's oftentimes just the opposite of that that we can then see what it is that we do want.
• 55:41
  Frankie Socash: So by like, really going into, like, whatever that feeling is, I think really helps to liberate it and get us to where we wanna go.
• 55:52
  Erin Gray: I agree 100%, I always.
• 55:53
  Erin Gray: I mean, I already said this before but it's like, it's a practice, right, like the reason why we don't wanna go there is because the physical vibration in our body doesn't feel good.
• 56:03
  Erin Gray: But the more that you feel like, like I used to avoid shame, but the more that I felt shame, the less that shame felt intense in my body.
• 56:12
  Erin Gray: Does it feel like joy?
• 56:14
  Erin Gray: No, but does it feel as intense in my body as how it used to feel?
• 56:19
  Erin Gray: No, because it's just like oh, here we are again, right, like you're shame, right, or like.
• 56:24
  Erin Gray: I think shame and inadequacy to me are very like vibrationally and like feeling in my body feels like that um, and and so it's like when, when I stopped resisting it, like you say right, like okay, and I started to get more practice at feeling embarrassed or disappointed or just those lower vibration emotions that were taught we shouldn't feel, I think sometimes in the spiritual world too, it's almost like this like, oh, high vibe.
• 56:52
  Erin Gray: It's like no, no, no, not high vibe.
• 56:55
  Erin Gray: At the at the point of like, denying your feelings and having a human experience, right, it's just more so, like, is my baseline frustration now?
• 57:05
  Erin Gray: No, do I feel frustration?
• 57:08
  Erin Gray: Yes, because I'm a human but I don't live there Like.
• 57:11
  Erin Gray: I used to live there four or five, six years ago, and so I think it's like that practice of like.
• 57:16
  Erin Gray: How practiced are you?
• 57:18
  Erin Gray: I was thinking about this the other day.
• 57:20
  Erin Gray: I don't even know what I was doing and I was just like man.
• 57:22
  Erin Gray: There's no secret to like having what you want right, like really what it is, is like what is the willingness that you are willing to feel what you have been running from your entire life to that level, that is the level that you can have what you want right, like we can get so practiced at like.
• 57:42
  Erin Gray: You know what are the emotions that I'm running from and I mean this isn't like, this isn't the sexy thing that people want to hear, right, it's like you know what are the emotions that I'm running from and I mean this isn't like, this isn't the sexy thing that people want to hear, right, it's like then run right to them, right, like to the because, like you say, like to the level that we are at the.
• 57:56
  Erin Gray: You know, like you don't feel joy if you don't feel intense grief.
• 58:01
  Erin Gray: Right, like it.
• 58:01
  Erin Gray: It is the other side and it may not be the exact other side of the coin.
• 58:05
  Erin Gray: But you get what I'm saying right.
• 58:06
  Erin Gray: Like joy, like in order to have such love, you there's sadness there too, right, like it just it's just part of the, it's part of it.
• 58:14
  Erin Gray: And so embracing, like I think that was an aha for me, like it was years ago, but like when I really actually was like, oh my goodness, like it's okay to feel all the emotions, right, and like how can I get good at feeling?
• 58:28
  Erin Gray: And even to like sometimes I think we want to name them and I don't know what this is like for you, frankie, but like naming to me takes me in my head versus.
• 58:38
  Erin Gray: Just like where's this sensation and what is it doing inside my body?
• 58:42
  Erin Gray: And like you're saying, allowing that 90 seconds or whatever it takes.
• 58:46
  Frankie Socash: But like when I try to focus on the, the name of the feeling, I'm almost like searching can definitely keep people, keep people in the mind rather than in the body when we take time to really get into an emotion, like shame, for example, like you get to the shame but you get underneath it and you realize that the shame is there because it just wants you to experience your fullness and your wholeness.
• 59:39
  Frankie Socash: Like, the times where I have felt shame, it was because I wanted more.
• 59:45
  Frankie Socash: I wanted to be like.
• 59:45
  Frankie Socash: It was like I wanted.
• 59:46
  Frankie Socash: I wanted more, I wanted to be like I.
• 59:49
  Frankie Socash: It was like I wanted to be seen in this certain way and I wasn't really living to my potential or to what I wanted, even, and so there was shame around it.
• 59:57
  Frankie Socash: And like, maybe because I didn't feel like I was good enough or I didn't feel like I was worthy of it.
• 1:00:03
  Frankie Socash: You know whatever other like not to get too into the story, but like you, just you.
• 1:00:09
  Frankie Socash: You start to see that these emotions are really just like they're calling you deeper into your own being right, like they're just like inviting you to come deeper.
• 1:00:19
  Frankie Socash: And then you see on the other side that it was really just pulling me into like my, my, my most I don't know our highest self, whatever we want to call it, like our, yeah, our, our highest version of ourselves, or yeah, like it's.
• 1:00:37
  Frankie Socash: So it's pretty profound too to like be able to get to the bottom of it and get to the other side of it yeah, it's like always showing you.
• 1:00:45
  Erin Gray: It's like when I call, like befriended it.
• 1:00:47
  Erin Gray: Right.
• 1:00:48
  Erin Gray: Like when I realized that they weren't like when my body and my emotions weren't out to get me or weren't against me.
• 1:00:55
  Erin Gray: Right, it was always here to show me something, to to illuminate something that I may not be paying attention to it.
• 1:01:06
  Erin Gray: I mean, I it's almost like the little two-year-old, right, it's like you wouldn't just like shush the two-year-old.
• 1:01:12
  Erin Gray: It's like what's the matter?
• 1:01:13
  Erin Gray: Right, like what's going on.
• 1:01:14
  Erin Gray: Tell me, you know.
• 1:01:15
  Erin Gray: And so that tenderness, that connectedness that I was able to generate because of it, versus like almost annoyed by it.
• 1:01:25
  Erin Gray: Right, like it was all.
• 1:01:27
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I guess that's a good way to say it.
• 1:01:28
  Erin Gray: It's like I used to be annoyed by emotions, right, it's like that's that's stopping me from doing what I'm trying to do, versus like no, this is the way to get it.
• 1:01:36
  Erin Gray: You know the way through.
• 1:01:39
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, yeah, and I think it's kind of funny because I think our, because I think our like in our society oh, big Hawk, sorry, what was I saying?
• 1:01:53
  Frankie Socash: In our society?
• 1:01:55
  Frankie Socash: Like, yeah, it's like things that are inconvenient, it's like just push it away, push it to the side, like it.
• 1:02:02
  Frankie Socash: It's in the way it keeps us from working, it keeps us from being productive, it keeps us from like you know.
• 1:02:09
  Frankie Socash: So it's just like just focus and push it aside.
• 1:02:11
  Frankie Socash: And there there was a um, something, something that just popped into my head.
• 1:02:17
  Frankie Socash: I I remember meeting someone and feeling really jealous of them.
• 1:02:22
  Frankie Socash: I was like what is that?
• 1:02:24
  Frankie Socash: Like I don't know if I've ever felt so like this jealousy before.
• 1:02:28
  Frankie Socash: And and so you know, I I opened up the conversation with this person because I wanted to, I wanted to like, understand it a little bit more, and I was like I feel jealous and like I don't like, and I don't know like I don't, I don't know what it is, and just by talking out loud and, you know, being very vulnerable first of all, but like it, like landed for me, it was like, oh, I'm jealous because this person is showing up in a way that I really want to.
• 1:03:00
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, it's not that this person is better than me or has something that I don't have.
• 1:03:07
  Frankie Socash: It's because they're reflecting back to me this like aspect of myself that I'm not fully embracing and and like I'm like holy shit, like thank you, okay, okay, jealousy, like now you're an ally, now you're an ally.
• 1:03:22
  Frankie Socash: And every time, like, an emotion like that comes up, I'm like, oh okay, like what, what's going on?
• 1:03:28
  Frankie Socash: What am I not seeing?
• 1:03:29
  Frankie Socash: Like show me right.
• 1:03:32
  Frankie Socash: And like once we'd start to learn the language of the body and how these emotions are, and like how the body wants to express itself.
• 1:03:41
  Frankie Socash: Because the body is constantly like, like constantly giving us messages and giving us signals and like moving, yeah, trying to move us into a state of harmony, into a state of homeostasis, like in evolution.
• 1:03:56
  Frankie Socash: You know, that's like lodged in our genes, that's just like where we go, and so everything is like kind of working in this way to move us in that direction.
• 1:04:06
  Frankie Socash: But then then we're like, oh no, I can't feel that I don't have time for this.
• 1:04:09
  Frankie Socash: I got to go to work, I got to do this, I don't have enough money, I don't know.
• 1:04:13
  Erin Gray: Like, yeah, it is.
• 1:04:18
  Erin Gray: If it's, I think it always comes back to like it's a practice, it's a, and when I say skill, all I mean is it's a.
• 1:04:23
  Erin Gray: And when I say skill, all I mean is it's a practice that you practice over and over.
• 1:04:27
  Erin Gray: You get better at it the more you do it.
• 1:04:29
  Erin Gray: And a lot of us have just been really practiced in ignoring and shutting down and disassociating Like it's not like, because I used to think that like maybe my coach or other people I would see were like there was something different in them than was it wasn't me and it's like no, like we're just, they just might be more practice.
• 1:04:49
  Erin Gray: Like that's okay, anybody can just put in more effort, right, like that's, that's simple, it's not easy, but it's simple, right, and like, okay, so it's just practice.
• 1:04:59
  Erin Gray: And so, like, wherever you are, it's not a problem.
• 1:05:02
  Erin Gray: Right, and just recognizing like okay, where can I practice?
• 1:05:06
  Erin Gray: Practice even just and here we go back to to with the um, you know, self-development world.
• 1:05:12
  Erin Gray: It's like we don't have to go from zero to 100, zero to one percent.
• 1:05:14
  Erin Gray: Where can I just like half a percent today?
• 1:05:18
  Erin Gray: How can I just maybe breathe into it for for a second longer?
• 1:05:24
  Erin Gray: You know, like where?
• 1:05:24
  Erin Gray: Like where is your, where is your?
• 1:05:27
  Erin Gray: Next?
• 1:05:27
  Erin Gray: You know what's the word I want to use Like where's just your a little bit outside your comfort zone, right?
• 1:05:39
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, yeah, there's a, there's a saying that I see quite often, like in the coaching, um, like personal development and something about, like you know, take steps every single day towards your goals and towards your dreams.
• 1:05:53
  Frankie Socash: And it's like the same thing, you know, like we're here for a lifetime.
• 1:05:57
  Erin Gray: You don't have to do it all tomorrow, unless you know that that's the big thing too is like when I realized I can have the feeling right now.
• 1:06:08
  Erin Gray: Then what's the rush?
• 1:06:12
  Erin Gray: Right, like you can experience joy and fun right now while you're building your business.
• 1:06:17
  Erin Gray: You can experience, you know, whatever it is in the moment, like we don't have to withhold anything from ourselves.
• 1:06:24
  Erin Gray: We can have that right now.
• 1:06:25
  Erin Gray: Emotionally right, we can have the emotions right now.
• 1:06:28
  Erin Gray: You have anything else, frankie, you want to say?
• 1:06:31
  Erin Gray: It's been such a good conversation, yeah.
• 1:06:35
  Frankie Socash: Gosh, I don't think so, I don't know.
• 1:06:41
  Frankie Socash: I feel I feel pretty lit up by this conversation.
• 1:06:45
  Frankie Socash: I love talking about the body.
• 1:06:46
  Frankie Socash: I love talking about the body.
• 1:06:47
  Frankie Socash: I love talking about emotions.
• 1:06:49
  Frankie Socash: I love, you know, kind of being the like I love pushing the edges, yeah, in conversations in my life, in my family, in my body, you know, like I'm like I always feel like I'm like how, like, how much further can we go?
• 1:07:08
  Frankie Socash: And and so I love being able to have these conversations and talk about it and like, as we're talking, you know I'm also getting like being able to push my edges and, like you know, like like learning as I'm talking and learning as we're having these conversations and like expanding the conversation just by opening up these conversations.
• 1:07:27
  Frankie Socash: So I'm really grateful for you and and your podcast and the work that you're doing and opening up these conversations so we can kind of like pioneer the path and like open it up for people and expand, like expand these ideas, because I think that you know, just to go back to like the disempowered of, like the rat race that right now we're kind of in this place, of like needing to redefine who we are in order to create new systems that are going to benefit us and the planet and future generations, and I really feel having these conversations and spreading information and sharing ideas, and like expanding each other and like for all of us to be open to that expansion, is really like what's going to assist in the further evolution of our reality.
• 1:08:24
  Erin Gray: Totally so.
• 1:08:26
  Erin Gray: Where can people find you, learn more about you, connect with you?
• 1:08:30
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, on social media.
• 1:08:31
  Frankie Socash: You can find me on Instagram at Sana Antia.
• 1:08:36
  Erin Gray: Okay, I'll put Frankie's information in the show notes.
• 1:08:39
  Erin Gray: Frankie, thank you again.
• 1:08:41
  Erin Gray: I appreciate it.
• 1:08:41
  Erin Gray: It was so fun and I appreciate your time and your knowledge.
• 1:08:46
  Frankie Socash: Yeah, Likewise, Erin.
• 1:08:47
  Frankie Socash: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:08:48
  Erin Gray: Yeah, and everybody.
• 1:08:49
  Erin Gray: Thank you for listening.
• 1:08:50
  Erin Gray: I appreciate you sharing your time with us until next time.
• 1:08:53
  Erin Gray: Thank you for tuning in today.
• 1:08:54
  Erin Gray: I appreciate you spending your time with me.
• 1:08:56
  Erin Gray: I created grow the CEO cohort for the entrepreneur that wants to be in a community with other heart based entrepreneurs.
• 1:09:04
  Erin Gray: It's a place where we blend the 3D of money, like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business, along with the 5D of money, like the energetics and the emotions that you feel with money.
• 1:09:17
  Erin Gray: To learn more about Grow the CEO cohort, you can head over to my website at generatealifewelllivedcom.
• 1:09:23
  Erin Gray: And, as always, from my soul to yours,