Latest / Decisions, Decisions / EP 493: Friends With Baby Benefits

Transcript

EP 493: Friends With Baby Benefits · Decisions, Decisions

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Decisions, decisions.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Decisions, Decisions. It's
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: your girl Mady B, a.k.a. Peg the Stallion, a.k.a. Peg
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: and Marco, a.k.a. That Beach.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Hey y'all, I'm Weezy. Welcome back to another episode. Y'all
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: should be happy it's a solo.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Y'all ain't had a solo in a long time and
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: y'all ain't gonna have a solo for about the rest
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: of the year. Except for, and I'm sorry, Deen. I
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: know we talked about it. Unfortunately, you won't be here
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: for episode 500.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Are we trying to make that a little solo, do
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: a little thing? You was going to help us kind
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: of produce that, but episode 500 coming up.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: We're going to make something special for that.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Huh?
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to do something special. I just don't
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: know yet. We'll be recording it in LA, but episode
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: 500 being on this side of the year, going into
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: next year, celebrating 10 years. Yeah. That's a lot of
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: motherfucking talking, which really means it's really almost a thousand episodes. Because, baby, Patreon.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Patreon got like 400-some episodes. What the fuck?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: It's so funny.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Who the hell didn't have this much to say?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: You don't even think in the beginning of starting a
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: sex podcast you'll have that much to say.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: No, they didn't think we would make it.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: But you keep fucking.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: They didn't think we would have more than 100 episodes
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: of shit to talk about.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Remember when they thought you guys were done?
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: That was fun. I mean, that's been a couple times.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know which time you're talking about.
• 1:16
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Actually, I thought.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: There's been a few.
• 1:18
  Speaker 6: The one.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Maybe we can talk about that on episode 500. You
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: know what's crazy, though? To me, it's still crazy that
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: there's still certain, I was about to call them things,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: it's not things, but certain people with certain things that
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: they enjoy in their lives that haven't been on this
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: goddamn podcast. I don't know what you're talking about. We
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: ain't had a drag queen or king. We haven't had
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: a first.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: Y'all never had a drag queen?
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Not dressed up. We had a sissy who dressed up
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: in female clothes in the bedroom, but we've never had
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: a drag performer.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: We've also never had a furry. We were trying to
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: get them for the fucking live show. I think they'd
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: be hiding. They'd be at Comic-Con is where they'd be at.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to try to get one because I'm
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: going to DreamCon next year. Cannot wait. What's DreamCon? DreamCon
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: is the black version. It's like the blurbs, but it's
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: more animation than comics. So I'm premiering Period Sis pilot
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: at DreamCon in Houston.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, Houston.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Houston in July don't sound good. That don't sound fun.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: How am I supposed to dress up? That's why I
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: like Halloween. That's why I like, but it's still Houston.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I got to get to the goddamn, I can't just
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: teleport to somewhere cold. It's Texas in July. Do you
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: remember when we did, what was, the Togetherland Fest? Oh,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: we did Dallas in May.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: I was about to say, it might be the same thing.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Was that not, like, I literally felt like I was
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: in Hades.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Yo, not to the 80s.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I feel like if I would have fucked, I was
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: fucking Satan. Like, it was so hot.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It was bad.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: It made me like.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: And I wore leather.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: And I wore leather like a dummy. Mind you, I
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: go to fucking Dallas almost every goddamn Thanksgiving, which ain't
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: happening this year. But it'd be cute. November in Dallas. Oh,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: I like.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: No, no, no.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Dallas and May can suck my dick. I was like,
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Texas will never see me full time. Yo.
• 3:09
  Speaker 6: Oh, no.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: This is a little dark, but if you remember... If
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: y'all read No Holds Barred, you already know this story.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: It's a sad one. But I was kind of pregnant
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: right before that trip.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Not kind of pregnant. Well, the point is.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: Pseudo-pregnant.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't know you kind of still have the symptoms. Like,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: no matter, like, through miscarriage, nothing. It doesn't matter.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Nigga.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I was really, like, texting this nigga like, bruh.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: When we ready?
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I ain't getting pregnant in the summertime.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Listen.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Bitch, I walked to go get my makeup done.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Threw up on the way. Aw.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: And then somebody was like, oh, did you have a
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: fun night? No, bitch, it's hot. Everything was bothering me.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Everything.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: I had on leather bottoms and a fur fucking bra.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: In May in Dallas, like a whole dummy. You looked cute, though.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: I did look cute. It was fun. It was fun. Well,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I guess we could start with a little bit of
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: catch up. Yeah, so this is going to be like
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: a different year for me. I... Once again, and I
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: don't know why, maybe I'll talk about my therapy with
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: my therapist. I just, by the time I always make
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: it to the week of my birthday or the week
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: before my birthday or the month of my birthday, I
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: don't want to do shit. So I'm still like not
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: in a place where I want to celebrate my birthday.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I also just don't like the anxiety of planning some shit.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: So I think that that's it too.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Like I don't tell my friends, bitch, we eat every day.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I don't even want to do a birthday dinner. And
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: if we do a birthday dinner, I told Crystal, it
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: could be just me and you. I don't want a
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: group dinner. I don't want to have to wait for
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: people because people show up late. I just don't want
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: to deal with people. On my birthday, that sounds like, ugh.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Does this happen every year you say?
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Every single year.
• 4:46
  Speaker 7: Birthday blues.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Every single year. Does it change the day or two before?
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: It doesn't change. Last year, my friends came over They
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: forced themselves over and brought charcuterie shit. So we did
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: charcuterie boards, dirty martinis, and then I had a nigga
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: that had a table. He was like, you could pull up.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, sure. More laid back. Year
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: before that, I don't even remember. I just, I fucking
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: never want to do anything for my birthday.
• 5:10
  Speaker 7: Maybe for your birthday is that you just want to
• 5:11
  Speaker 7: unwind and not have to really make a plan, not
• 5:14
  Speaker 7: to make a schedule. You just want to go with
• 5:16
  Speaker 7: the flow, and that's totally cool.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's my other thing. I just be
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: stacking shit and telling people I'm going to be places.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: So even like the day before my birthday... Shout out
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: to SisterSong. I'm going to their, they have a 16th
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: year celebration event. Then it's fucking Morehouse Homecoming. Bitch, I'm
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: finna be outside with the niggas. It's Morehouse Homecoming.
• 5:33
  Speaker 6: Hello.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: More boyfriends. Bitch, let me see these niggas do all
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: the look.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Once people start talking about a college that they didn't
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: go to, That's how you know.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: First off, I could never have gone to Morehouse.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: You outside, bitch.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I could have never gone to Morehouse.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. It doesn't matter, bitch. That's the point.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: It's for boys.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: People talk about BCU homecoming, never went to college.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you, I not only went to college,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I have two degrees, and I now live in a
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: black-ass city. What I'm going to do is enjoy a
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: goddamn HBCU homecoming. I know, that's right. Okay? And I
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: always miss it. So I'm excited to be in town
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: for that. And then, yeah, I'm just getting ready for Thanksgiving.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: I had to tell DeAndra I wasn't going this year
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: to Dallas because my mom, my sister, my homegirl Lena
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: and her husband, everybody was available this year with no plans.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: So I booked a cabin.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Fun.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: So never did a cabin. It's giving glamping.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: How many people fit in the cabin? Eight.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: So as of right now, it's going to be me,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: my mom, Crystal, 95%, boyfriend number one, 75%. my homegirl
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Lena and her husband bitching two dogs. Mind you, they
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: was trying to bring my nephew. I said, bitch, this
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: is a house full of childless adults. You're not ruining
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: a vacation with a child. So nephew could stay with
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: my sister. We're already about to have dogs. You're also
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: about to bring two dogs to a house of people
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: with no dogs. The anxiety, like that's about to be
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: enough for me. So I said, the kid can't come.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: It's your nephew?
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Yes. But my nephew is still a child. How old?
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: Less than five.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Four or five.
• 7:13
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Three, four, or five. You know what I mean?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about? No, I meant, oh, like,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I thought it was baby crying baby.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: I mean, still both.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: They still fucking crying three and four.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: I love my nephew who's five.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Bro, they be bad as fuck. Then you got to
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: watch them and shit. Who's watching? Who wants to babysit
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: in a cabin for Thanksgiving?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I guess you can't escape.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: No, like, who wants to do that? So, yeah, doing that.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: And then Christmas, I think I'm doing Turks and Caicos. So,
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: So, I went on the Naked Beauty brand trip. Well, technically,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: it wasn't a brand trip. And I want to talk
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: about the Turks because... The.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Turks is crazy. What?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: People don't call it the Turks?
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: The Turks?
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know. My homegirl's from there, and she'd be like,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: I'm going back to the Turks. So, maybe I get
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: it from her.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 7:56
  Speaker 7: But.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, Nia, my makeup artist, you know her. So... Brooke DeVard,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: shout out to her. We actually haven't potted since I went.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: She got eight of her friends together to go on
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: this trip to celebrate her 10-year anniversary. And I was like, fuck, bitch,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: because you get yours before we hit ours. I'm like, nah,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling the pressure. Bro, every single day was completely blissful,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: but the one mistake I feel like happened. Okay, I'm
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: not calling out who said this about us, Brooke, but
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: just hear me, because that's my dog. She listens to
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: all our episodes. One of my homegirls was like, bitch,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: we was in the office talking about, they ain't going nowhere.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: They keep posting that house and that beach.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: That's the old bitch trip.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: And I was like, people was saying that? And she
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: was like, you ain't posting one club, Weezy. She was like,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: we was really sitting there like them girls in the crib.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And I was having to think to myself, like, did
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I not experience enough of the culture in the Turks
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: and Caicos? The first time I went, it was Shara's
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: wife's birthday during COVID. The second time I went, it
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: was just an amazing house. We didn't want to leave.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: All our meals are there. We have a fucking butler.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: We're on the best beach in Billionaire's Row. Like, why
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: would we leave? And now I'm really sitting there like,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: now I need to go to the Turks to live
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: like a local. Because I don't know what they like.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, I ain't going to hold you. I don't plan
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: to live like a local.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Not live, excuse me.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: No, no, no.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Let me take it back.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry. I don't plan to experience it like. Hang with. Oh, no,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: me neither. I plan to experience it like Drake. Are
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: you fucking kidding me?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: But he hangs with locals.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: He can fly bitches in. I want to be with
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: the hoes. I want to be on the boat. I
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: want to go to Noah's Ark. I want to literally
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: have shots being poured down some bitch that left her
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: children at home. Like, I just want to have a
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: good-ass time. And when I went to goddamn Carousel last
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: year for Christmas, it was a whole bunch of families.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: So I want to experience Turks with the hoes. I
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: want the people that decided... But why would there be
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: hoes on Christmas?
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Hello?
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: The people with. no children, no responsibilities, the people that
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: want to just go and experience their time off because
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: they work decent jobs, they want to have a good time,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: and they don't want to sit in their houses and
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: be sad because they don't have to go see family.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Family-less people, child-less people, people that want to experience and
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: have fun during their little bit of time off.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Are you going solo or with boyfriend number one?
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I'm going with D'Andra. Okay. I'm trying to eat some
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: kooch up for Christmas. Why not? Cooch for Christmas.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I thought she said coocho.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Coocho for Christmas.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, maybe you could do that in
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: another place.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: And based on the flow app, a bitch going to
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: be bleeding anyway. So I just need a bitch to
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: sit on my face for Christmas. Is this why you're
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: not bringing boyfriend number one?
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Because you're bleeding?
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: No, it's because I'm going, I'm planning this with my friend.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Because I know you don't like to fuck on your period.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Because she ain't got the baby.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: But it would be really difficult.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: And me and DeAndra don't fuck. But she's like, girl,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I ain't got a baby Christmas. It's his turn. But
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: now I got his check because, again, I don't know
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: if it changed.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Well, I have a new development with someone we've been
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: dating together who I'm not going to hold you.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not calling her a hotep, but she's like a
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: wolf a little bit. Very healthy.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: Go on.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Very like, you know, when you look at somebody and
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: you're like, Yeah, like you don't use deodorant with aluminum
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: in it.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Excuse me? That's crazy.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: No, like you just know they're natural. I actually got
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: a cold while... Oh, I think you remember because I
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: was like, damn, I'm too sick to even do YGD.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I got a cold while we were all like flirting
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: and talking. You said it was COVID, not a cold. Well,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: do I need to say COVID again here?
• 11:36
  Speaker 7: I mean.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Okay. Now I'm going to have to fucking.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I forgot we weren't being authentic on this podcast anymore.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Based on the town hall, bitch, you said authenticity. We
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: can't be authentic.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: It's more the YouTube practices.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I'm like, damn.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: You know what it is, Mandy?
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: You let the people know COVID is back. COVID is back.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: I don't want people to clock when I'm traveling or not.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: They don't know when we record this. Okay, well, anyway.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: So, basically, she was like, yeah, I would nurse you
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: back to health with so many different herbs. And blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck do I have to fucking
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: go to the hospital for? What kind of Sudafed and
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: cocktail can we make? Tamiflu, bitch.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Anything.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: And we're in a group chat. Hermie and my man.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: And the way that they talk to each other, because
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: they're both a little bit wolfy.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Wolfy? Turning wolf into an adjective is crazy.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Makes me feel like I'm not spiritually, like, forward. Like.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing your energy with me.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: It was so beautiful to be in the both of
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: you space. I can't wait to reunite. Then here he go.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It was super magical. And I'm like, bro, now how
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: do I come back with this? My last story is
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: about sucking dick. I just feel like I can't. Like
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: it was almost difficult like sitting with the two of
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: them because I was just like, fuck. I am really
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: on the outside of this trio, but it's the thing
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: that turns me on about them the most. We go
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: to a party together. And the three of us are
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: at this party and it's 4 a.m. And I already
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: know Sean won't be out this late. But then I
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: run into one of my homeboys and he's like, bro,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: you with Molly?
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: And I was like, fuck yeah.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: And then I'm looking at her and I'm like, shit.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: You know, because I'm just like, but I was like,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I don't want to lie. She can read about it
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: in a book or just play a podcast. She'll know.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: So then we go outside and like with every step,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to ruin like the sex that we
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: could possibly have for the night as we get outside.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: what's the first thing I want in New York City
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: drunk outside.
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: Drunk cig hello yeah okay so.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: My man is like I was like I think I
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: want a cigarette and I was testing it out he
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: was like okay so we pack the skinnies when we
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: know we're gonna go to a club when he pulled
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: it out she looked at him like okay I could
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: take it if y'all was bumming it off somebody but
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: like nigga you got him with you oh so then
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: he's like you know this is a deal breaker for
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: you she's like It's not necessarily a deal breaker.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit. It was for me.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Is it?
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: My ex, actor bae, when he got stressed, he would
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: smoke a cigarette. He was British.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: We're not kissing. I'm not fucking you after you smoke
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: a cigarette. It's the smell. My mom and dad chain
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: smoked growing up. He wasn't allowed to smoke in my house. Bitch,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: it changes the color of the walls. Cigarettes, to me,
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: and I've never had to deal with any of my
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: partner's smoking cigarettes until actor bay and it was like
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: a don't you could do it in la don't do
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: that around me like that would that would be a
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: deal i think.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: If it was someone's hard no i wouldn't do it
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: also i.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Wouldn't break up with you for it but i'm also
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: not gonna fuck you.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: After well what was really interesting about the time we
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: spent with her she had an early flight And she's
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: also non-monogamous and dating someone. That was the most intimacy
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I've shared with another woman with my partner for the
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: first time ever. But in my lifetime, the last time
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I had that deep of an intimate connection was with scissors.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: And when I woke up the next day, I kind
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: of was like, damn, am I at the capacity right
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: now to handle someone I really fuck with with care
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: and making sure I'm doing it correctly? Because she ain't
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: no bitch that's about to, you know, accept the fucking
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: minimum tax and bare minimum anything. Like, she's super dope.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: And I respect her a lot. And I think him
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: and I actually had to have a talk about how, oh, well,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: maybe while we're seeing her, we don't see anybody else.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Because that space that we were holding for her while
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: being in bed together did seem very different.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: For him, too?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess just the dynamic of the
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: three of us. I don't know if it was for
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: him too more than it's like our experience with someone
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: else to that level. I can't explain it. It was
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: a deeper sense of cuddling. It was deeper touching. It
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: was more romantic. It was more intentional. Even though we've
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: slept over with women plenty of times together. So that
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: actually was interesting because we were both like, okay, yeah,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: that was different. But It didn't make me scared. It
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: more so made me want to know that I'm treating
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: people with the respect they deserve because I've made maybe
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: mistakes in the past. Remember, I came on here and
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: talked about how a girl was like, damn, you don't
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: be texting me like that. I don't know if you
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: remember that. No, no, no. I remember.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: This is why I closed my shit. I don't desire
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: to have that. My partner wants.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Do you want to talk about this?
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: No.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: No.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Not really.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's just, no, we're closing it in terms
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: of what we do with each other, but it's because
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: of that. Like, even me asking you, does your partner
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: feel that way? For me, when we were bringing people
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: into the bedroom together, me and him had a different
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: idea of how we should handle the third person.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Well, we always talk to people after, though, him and
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I together.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: But even that's what I'm saying. Me and him, for
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: how it felt for either of us was just it's
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: been different. I don't want to get their number. I
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: don't need more friends. This is an excitement thing that happens.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I don't want to date people. But I've always said that.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: And I've said that with you. Like, I don't need
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: to take a girl out and feed her and do
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: all of these things before we go to bed, which
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: maybe is why. I enjoyed the sex club more than you.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have... No, we have had this conversation, though.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to date a woman. I don't
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: want to be with a woman. I don't want a
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: woman to join me in my relationship. I don't have
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: the emotional capacity to show up for them how they
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: need or want or the confusion of it all. Like,
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: to me, dealing with men is much easier, especially for
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: what I'm able to give.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Do you think that your attraction to women... being solely
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: sexual and not necessarily romantic, at this point in time
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: in your life, attributes to what you want with them after? Like,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: do you think because I'm a little gayer, that's why
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I like.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: All this shit? It's not even, like, gayness, because to me, like,
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: the relationships I've had with women in friendship have been
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: beautiful for me.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: But that's not romantic.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: No, my point. I have zero desire. I think, and
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I tell Crystal this all the time, Crystal's my fucking
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: best friend ever. She's my soulmate, for sure. romantically, she
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: would drive me fucking crazy. I don't like her, like,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: how she texts. Like, the things that we expect from
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: romantic partners are just different. And so for me, with
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: how women show up romantically, the things they need emotionally,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: the confusion that normally comes from women, even when I
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: hear them talk about relationships, I don't literally have the
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: capacity to understand. And I think men are just a
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: little bit more simpler. I.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Okay. The interesting thing is, so I have had that
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: discussion with my man and he could go either way.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: He could go the route of we just fucking never
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: speak to them again or he could go for more. Ideally,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I think him and I don't want a bunch of
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: different people through the door, which is why we'd prefer
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: maybe let's just say one or two or three partners.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Let's just say one on each.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Coast, whatever.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: But specifically one thing he's told me that he knows
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I need that he does not need is the dinner
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: and the date first.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I actually really struggle with sex too quick with women.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: And with men, I guess, in that regard, too. It's
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: not like I've never had sex with a guy fast.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: It's just, generally speaking, and you guys have been listening
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: to me for a long time, I need a little
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: bit more. Or I get too apprehensive about how vulnerable
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: I am in that space. I want to be able
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: to fuck quicker, but it's not that easy for me
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: actually being non-monogamous is quite the interesting thing because it
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: kind of seems like it's just sex right and technically
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: because I'm.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: With women it is for me with the men now
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: As being non-monogamous, being very fulfilled with who's currently in
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: my life, I have zero desire to just fuck. I
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: have zero desire to even entertain a nigga at all.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: It's emotional connection then?
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: My partners now? Absolutely.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: And so, okay, that's interesting because you said that you
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: don't want to keep the number or keep up with
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: anyone after sex with you and your partner.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: For women, I don't.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, just for women?
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Just for women. But I'm also not out here just
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: slinging my pussy to any nigga either because I need
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: them to care, respect. Like, I want a conversation. I
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: want to like the man now. Like, again, I'm being
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: able to date and enjoy men for them, like not
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: for what they can do for me, which if you
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: guys read the book No Holds Barred, I think that's
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: been one of the most beautiful things about how I'm
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: able to enjoy my heterosexual relationships now with men is that, damn,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: I don't need you for nothing. I don't need to
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: have sex with people I don't like, people I'm not
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: attracted to, people that don't do nothing for me, people
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: that don't care about me, people that can just fuck
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: me and leave me. I enjoy the relationships with men
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: romantically when they're like dope as fuck, when they're amazing,
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: when we can talk and laugh, when they care about
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: what I'm doing for work, when we can joke.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: You know what's so crazy?
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: That would make me so fucking jealous. That would make
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: me so fucking jealous.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: What would?
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Outside of my, what's the word I'm looking for? Not pod,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: it's just outside of my union. If I had that
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: deep of a connection, like just you and boyfriend number two,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: how much rapport there is.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: When boyfriend number one got in the picture, I said
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: boyfriend number two wasn't going nowhere.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: No, but I'm saying that would make me very jealous
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: on the other end. And I'm sure like.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, me and him talk about feelings.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: I love even to know that niggas get jealous. I
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: like to know that there's an insecurity there. I like
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: to know that, and not in a disrespectful way because
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hurt any of my partners. I
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: would never intentionally do anything to hurt them. But a
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: part of me loves that whatever connection I have with
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: my partners, that I can do something to make them feel.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I feel when I love a man, I fucking, I
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: get upset. I get jealous. I'm like, oh my God.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: But it's because I care about him. Do you know
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: how many niggas I'd be like, man, get the fuck
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: out of my phone with this bullshit and I could
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: cut him off and ghost him. Sure. But I've had
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: so many men that nothing moves them. So to have
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: a man to be able to even communicate when something
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I do doesn't make them, you know, makes them feel.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Like I literally said this on, on town hall. I said,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: oh my God, men have feelings. I was 35 years
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: old when I realized like, You know, or even in
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: my last relationship, like a man just expressing that, damn,
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I made them feel a way. That is beautiful to me.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: And I hate when it's jealousy or insecurity or something
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: that makes them get the ick or doesn't feel good
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: because how dare this bitch. But I'm like, I love
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: that we could talk through it. But I love, like,
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: knowing that I make a man feel. Because these niggas
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: don't be feeling shit, for real. They can fucking dump.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: So for me, like, having a connection where a man
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: cares about me and respects me, I love it.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: But you low-key niggas when it comes to women. And him.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: But I've never had the, maybe when I was 21,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: but I still need a man. I've never really had
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: that romantic desire to be with a woman. Blame the patriarchy.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. Or just my makeup.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: As much as I've seen my mom go through hell
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: with niggas, I never not once saw myself without being
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: a nigga. As much as I've been fucking drove crazy
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: through or disrespected by niggas, I never didn't see myself
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: being with one.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Listen, I'm getting married to a man and I think
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: they're terrible sometimes. You know what I'm saying? So I
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: get it. Like sometimes actually when I'm talking to my
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: queer friends, I make that joke a lot and I've
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: made it in front of him like, can't.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Believe I'm marrying a man.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: But it's just because, damn, I've really experienced some terrible
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: relationships in my life. But also, I've had good examples.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: And I talked about this on the vlog about manifesting
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: on our Patreon. But like, I have had good examples
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: of men in my life. Not necessarily always romantic, but friendship,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: whatever it could be, family. I feel that that's really
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: helped me move forward because I've definitely had an angry period. Bruh,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I was feeling like that. I would say all of 2022,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: it was like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, I was
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: going crazy. I'm kind of glad I'm over the hump.
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: But, yeah.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, new girl. I don't have a name for
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: her yet. I think she's really sweet and dope. And, yeah,
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to us all having sex, obviously.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: It was interesting because the intimacy was enough.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: It was all naked, too.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I'm also curious, like, just when you get deeper in
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: conversation on what she wants, who her other partner is,
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: how she plans to— We have that.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I just don't know what I can share yet.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Well, let's get into this hot topic that has had
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: the internet ablaze. One of our former guests here on
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: this show, Kendrick Sampson, sat with Shan Boodram, and he
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: shared how he would view his relationship with a woman.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: And this is what he had to say.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, here we go.
• 25:28
  Speaker 6: I just look at love differently. In my head, if
• 25:33
  Speaker 6: I'm going to have a partnership, I don't want a
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: child in there. I definitely want children, but I want
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: children with my homegirls.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I want my homegirls.
• 25:43
  Speaker 6: To know that we ain't ever going to have a
• 25:45
  Speaker 6: romantic nothing. And the only thing we worried about is
• 25:49
  Speaker 6: the health of the child.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: It ain't complicated by what I feel and what mood
• 25:53
  Speaker 6: I'm in, how you betrayed me, how you slept with someone,
• 25:58
  Speaker 6: how you cheated. I don't want the romance. You haven't
• 26:02
  Speaker 6: been shown enough romance, and so now the kid is suffering.
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: I would rather be in a relationship where we know
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: we got kids.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: It takes a village.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: This is the village.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: We interviewed a.
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: Couple like that, Lawrence and Brandy, and they did a
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: parental agreement up front, which is a fantastic resource that
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: I hope that we get to share too, but it
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: was just that. So it's in essence, like we're just
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: coming together to raise a kid. There will never be romance.
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: They live together at one component. It was care while
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: she was pregnant in the ways that a romantic partner
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: would care for the pregnant partner because they're carrying their life.
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: But there was never a crossing of boundaries there.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:38
  Speaker 6: And if you understand, especially black maternal mortality in Texas
• 26:43
  Speaker 6: and like how hard it is to go through the
• 26:46
  Speaker 6: medical system, even like thinking about natural birth, doulas and everything.
• 26:50
  Speaker 6: And you over here worried about Roman?
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: He continues on. Now, your big old sigh you let
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: out lets me know we actually disagree here.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: You go first.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I have absolutely, I have no qualms about what he said.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: I know the internet is upset about it. I think
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: for me.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: We're upset about everything, aren't we?
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: I think for me, it's, It's brave and it's beautiful
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: for a black man, a heterosexual black man to express
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: his capacity and share how he views fatherhood. I say
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: this as a woman who literally had a conversation with
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: one of the last guys I was dating last year
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: about wanting partnership, but not wanting to be a mother
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: and having the conversation of, well, he wants to be
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: a father, how he could go and have that experience.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: I've also had friends, one specifically, who went through an
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: IVF journey and was ready to be a mother on
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: her own. We've had Ebony K. Williams on here who
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: sat and shared how, regardless of if she was partnered
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: or not, she wanted to be a mother. And there
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: was a celebration of her going through the process of
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: having that experience without having a partner. And so for me,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: hearing him say that, Also having multiple friends right now
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: with babies under three struggling because they wanted the family dynamic,
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: not the co-parenting dynamic and seeing the effect it's having
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: on their time with the child and co-parenting. I'm okay
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: with this. I know also Kehlani decided to have a
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: child with her best friend, a bisexual man that was
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: her dancer who she was like, you're my best friend.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: And we've seen her be in tumultuous relationships romantically.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: But they were in a romantic relationship. They didn't have
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: kids as friends.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Not that I know of, but okay. Regardless then, we'll
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: remove her as an example. I've seen so much, and
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: I've been a product of a relationship going sour, being
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: raised in a single-parent household, and because the relationship didn't work,
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: it ending up not working out for the child or
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: the people. I also see a lot of women, and
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: this is not me apologizing to niggas because there are
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: ancient niggas that should cut and snip their balls. They
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: should cut and snip their balls if they don't want
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: to be fathers. You shouldn't be out here having unprotected
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: sex if you don't want to be a father. However,
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: there are a lot of women because they wanted the
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: family dynamic, and now they are no longer with this
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: person that they are holding the child away from their
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: man or or their ex or the father of their
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: child the father wants to show up just as a
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: father not as your partner and that's bringing tumultuous things
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: so hearing him say that Again, also not knowing his sexuality,
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: not knowing his public relationship. I don't know his background.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Could there be trauma?
• 30:00
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: But I love that he's maybe reached a point at
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: 38 years old, which he is, where he could say,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: this is what I have the capacity for. And this
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: is a dynamic that would make sense for me. The
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: same way we sit here and talk about our non-traditional
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: ways of which our relationships work. I love how he
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: was like, I think this is how I could successfully
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: be a father. Because the romantic shit makes it complicated.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: And it does. I've seen it. I'm a victim of it.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: So mine is a little deeper. And it's interesting because
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: nothing you said to me was wrong. But it wasn't relative,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: in my opinion, for Kendrick. Your friend who's going to
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: go through IVF, Ebony, I also talked about using Vinny
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: as a sperm donor. And I want to make sure
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I openly talk about that. I was not talking about
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: co-parenting with Vinny. I believe Kendrick's attitude... in that clip,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: almost made black women come off as breeding cows. And
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you why.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: He didn't even say black women, though.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: He was talking about black women and mortality rates. But no,
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: he brought up black women and et cetera and doulas
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: and whatever. I just think he dates other people, too.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: He brought up black women. So I don't know what
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: he dates, but he brought up black women in that clip.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: And here's the thing. Women breeding cows, then. I don't
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: need no romantic shit. We got real life shit going on,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: like mortality rates.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: Like, what are you talking about, niggas?
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I felt like it was just a bunch of word
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: vomit from someone who's hurt and had a bad romantic
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: relationship with someone that they maybe wanted children with. And
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: here's why I have issues with what he said. It
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: is a lot easier or more, excuse me, not easier,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: more common for single women to have children on their
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: own because we're using our own bodies, whereas we don't
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: necessarily see it with men because they would need a
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: place to go. I feel like a nigga telling me
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: they'd have a kid with me because they trust me
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: and I'm their homegirl and they know I'd be a
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: good mom is actually an insult. It gives very much,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: tried it the other way, here you are. And I
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: think removing the romance and saying, we ain't never gonna
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: have no romantic nothing, was almost like this line in
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: the sand, like, I'll do you a favor, you can
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: do me one. And also, it kind of destroys the
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: idea that black families can exist. I think Nick Cannon's
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: disgusting and a joke. I don't think they're the same.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Nick Cannon came out and said he was sick and
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: that he was having kids to carry on his legacy. Oh,
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: come on. And he admits he'd be forgetting the names
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: of his kids. But Kendrick said, I want to be
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: a father and I want to be a good one
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: and I want to be able to do it with
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: someone in a healthy way.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you why I'm connecting Nick Cannon to the dots.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Nick Cannon has created a broken black family dynamic. And
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: I believe Having a kid with your homegirl and just
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: saying no romance just because you believe it to be
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: confusing or you can't figure it out is actually more
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: harmful than it seems like you're choosing your own path.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I truly believe that. I honestly believe women have always
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: been breeding machines and always will be. So the fact
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: that he brought up black mortality and having bigger things
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: to think of, that's what really made me be like, ugh. Like,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but if you haven't had successful relationships and
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: you want to have a kid, that's something for you
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: to figure out in your own healing. Then recourse has not,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: let me go have kids with my homegirls. And that
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: is why that tie to romance felt hurtful. It wasn't
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: like he explained the type of dynamic, which it's kind
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: of what you said there. Maybe a different choice of
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: words would have made me have a different opinion. If
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: he would have been like, you know what? I have
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: deep connections with my friends. We've talked about co-parenting. I'm
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: getting up there. I feel like if X, Y, Z,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: but it was really the connection to I'm going to
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: remove this romance because it's too much and we ain't
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: going to have nothing. We just going to raise this kid.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: I really do believe if someone told me that they'd
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: be using my body. And it's something that I believe
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: is unacceptable for black women to experience if your goal
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: is to have a family. I hate some of the
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: personal stories you've told me about your homegirls and it
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: is really fucked up and sad. You know, like truly,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: not saying that to be crass or anything. I have
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: homegirls with that same shit. A lot of single moms
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: in my life too. But the answer isn't just fuck
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: your homeboy because there's no confusion either. That coming from
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: a man's mouth isn't necessarily the choice of having a
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: kid on your own either. You now involve another human
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: being in a dynamic that can be confusing. And just
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: because his homegirls are amazing, fertile, And good people doesn't
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: necessarily mean they're the one that you get to have.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: I would assume it would be done consensually and the
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: homegirl would also agree to it. I believe that there
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: are people that hear this. And like for me, knowing
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: he said that, and mind you, I know Kendrick, we
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: was just hanging out in Chicago. This, this is music
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: to my ears.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think Kendrick's a bad guy. No, no, no.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is there's somebody for him. And
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: so from, looking at the internet and yes, everyone being upset,
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: if a man told me this, he would actually be,
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: like a man with a vasectomy, a man who doesn't
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: want any more kids.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Interesting, maybe you're a woman who doesn't want children.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I don't want children, but I would never keep, so
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: that's why I expressed the guy that I dated last
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: year who wanted kids. I was like, well, maybe you
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: can find a woman to have kids with that maybe
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: isn't looking for that and y'all could have kids together.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: No, in the adverse of that.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: But wait, let me finish. What I'm saying is I
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: get everyone's uproar on it, But I understand as well,
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: the same way we express how we want a dynamic
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: in our relationships and with our partners, the world can't
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: believe we found niggas that was down to deal with
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: women like us. So what I'm saying is, as I
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: was hearing him speak, I'm a woman where this would
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: work for me. So I was like, dang, I'm not
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: mad at that. He's 38, doesn't have kids yet. Feels
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: like a romantic bond would be too much.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: But you're missing a key part of this, Mandy.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: What's the key part?
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: It would work for you because you're not the other person.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: You're not the person who's caring. That person is the
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: one that technically is then holding more of the stake
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: in their life.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: But I know why I said it would have to
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: be done consensually. I know women, too. The way you
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: talked about Vinny. Yes, he's gay. But I have friends, too,
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: that have said... Bruh, if all else fails, I'ma just
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: have it with my best friend. Whether they're gay, straight, whatever.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: We've heard women say that before. So I'm saying, consensually,
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: if his homegirl is like, you know what? I also
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: am so glad I didn't have a fucking baby. Bye
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: that nigga. But my clock is running out. Let's do
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: this together because this is what we both want. Consensually,
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: I'm here for it. Like, there's this double standard where
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: we champion the women for doing what they want. Pro-choice.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: They can abort. They can do everything. And when a
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: man comes in and says, actually, this is how I
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: want to be a father, all hell breaks loose.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Wait, but there's no hell broken loose, right?
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, on the Internet, dude. It's more.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I'm saying I believe that the issue is.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: I'm saying consent around everyone, though.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: This isn't more so about consent, about the attitude towards
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: doing it. Women having children on their own are making
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: the choice to do it on their own, not involving
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: someone and say, don't worry, just get me pregnant. Ain't
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: going to be no feelings. That attitude to me is
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: one that is breaking the family dynamic. A woman starting
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: a life on her own, that is her true family dynamic.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: You're actually now involving a person to carry a kid
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: for you to just hang around and be good parents
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: together because romance gets confusing.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but imagine, and if you want to make it
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: now legal, turn it into a contract.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Can we ask the guys in the room?
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: We're fine with surrogates, are we not? We're fine with
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: women signing up for money or not to carry a
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: baby for 10 months who then doesn't get any connection,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: can't reach out to the child, can have no connection
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: to this baby. So if we're okay with surrogates, Why
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: can we not be okay with two consenting adults not
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: wanting to attach the romance, but both wanting to be
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: parents and creating a family dynamic that might not be traditional, yes,
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: but it's a healthy environment, which is what he led with.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: He was like, I feel like it would be healthy
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: because when it's romantic, the emotions get involved.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's exactly what I want to ask. Wolf, you first.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: We'll go later. Edwin as well.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Is this possible?
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Do you think Wolf and I have never had a
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: thing going on? let's say 10 years pass, we find
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: each other again in each other's life, and I say, Wolf,
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: I want a healthy baby. I know that sperm is
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: full of alkalinity. Do you think it's possible for me
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: to have a kid with you and not romanticize it eventually?
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: You're coming over, you're being a great dad. Most women
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: you know, 90% of women you know, do you think
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: it is fucking possible for me to carry your baby
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: in my body, know you're a great person, And literally
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: not then turn it into something. Because Mandy is saying,
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: which also Kendrick is saying, that romance confuses it. I
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: believe this is a hundred times almost more confusing. I
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: want both of y'all to tell me what you think,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: because we've been talking a lot. I would love to
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: know what the men think.
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: Possible.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: From women you've met in your lives.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: We're asking them to get into the minds of a woman.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: No, just opinions. We're on a podcast.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: Like Mandy said, it is possible, I think, for a
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: very small, very small group of person with that person.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: That exists.
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: I agree with your take on this so far.
• 39:29
  Speaker 6: Weezy.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: I do think that as a man who's only gay women,
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: I think it would be extremely difficult and almost irrational
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: to think that a woman would not at some point
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: be interested in me romantically, even though our arrangement initially
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: was we're going to do this, and it's almost like this.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: At some point, because it's like that today, too. It's like, oh,
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: we're just going.
• 39:48
  Speaker 6: To fuck it.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: But what, but what if y'all have never been romantic
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: or dated or involved yourselves like that?
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: Bro, we're growing a life together. I'm going to start
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: looking at this baby, looking at the, I can't explain
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: how personable and intimate it must be because it's never
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: happened to me, but a close friend of mine is
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: pregnant right now. And sometimes she's touching herself or her stomach.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: That sounded nasty. Sometimes she's touching her own stomach and like, damn,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: this is so fucking weird. We were in love and
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: we made this baby and just holding it and just
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: like the heightenedness of it. I would probably start to
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: fantasize and think.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: That I was brought into your life, mom, because... No,
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: there's women that could be delusional, sure, and would want more, sure.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: But I also have a mom who, when she ended
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: it with my dad, the idea of ever fucking him
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: again never crossed her mind. We're not talking about an ending.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: I get that. We're talking about things that never existed.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: These are two friends. We friends, we fuck with each other.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Let's both be parents.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: The other start of this, though, the consideration is that
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: They only want to do this because romance failed. That
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: means in actuality, you actually do want the family dynamic.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: You would love to find somebody that you're in love
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: with and that it works out with. And instead, this
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: is your plan B.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not mad when people have a plan B.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: The point is, the plan B, how could that ever
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: truly be satisfied?
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: How many plan Bs you done taken?
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: The plan B could never truly be satisfying to the
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: person that genuinely then wanted a family dynamic.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: Now, Mandy, if.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Suddenly, and I know, yes, no, you don't want kids,
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: fuck them, whatever. If suddenly you changed your mind, I
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: believe this possibility for you could be real because the
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: structure and ideas you've had of family dynamics with children...
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: don't seem like one I've ever heard you talk about
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: in this particular instance of romance. However, if you felt
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: like you wanted a kid because it was your legacy,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: you wanted to have a connection to a child or
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: something like that, that would be believable for me. But
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: if we were swapped on this podcast and you were
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: talking like I have been, whether it be having someone
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: in the long run or love or the mushy bullshit,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: I don't believe it could work for you. So because
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: your plan A has never been to have a kid
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: for love, I would believe you could do this. I
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: do not believe the bulk of women that want children
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: could handle this.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Which is why I sat on this pod and said,
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: this sounded like an ideal scenario for a woman like me. Like,
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: which is why Wolf said there's people out there. We
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: don't know the majority of it. I know a lot
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: of fucking homegirls right now that would have loved to
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: just have a fucking baby with a man that they
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: like and not a nigga they hate because of the
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: romantic fallout. They want a co-parent, and I know that
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: they would have loved to do it with their homeboy
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: that had been around for the goddamn last 15 years.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Would love to do it with their homeboy?
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: With someone that they love and care for that respects
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: them instead of doing it with a man that they
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: don't love, that they fucking hate, that hates them.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: I do. I believe that.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Add in thoughts. Could it happen? Well, I guess we
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: all know it could happen. It absolutely could happen.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: Look, the exception can happen, right? Do you think it's
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: possible for a person to.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Be successful with no.
• 43:12
  Speaker 6: Shit.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 43:13
  Speaker 7: I think it's possible when they both want the baby.
• 43:16
  Speaker 7: I think it's possible that it could be successful.
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 43:19
  Speaker 7: Now, if I have to talk about pure experience and
• 43:22
  Speaker 7: even let's just go on the realm of friends with benefits,
• 43:25
  Speaker 7: I personally cannot imagine.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 43:28
  Speaker 7: Because let's say nine out of 10 of the friends
• 43:30
  Speaker 7: with benefits I've had, it ended with the other person
• 43:34
  Speaker 7: or myself wanting more.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Damn, that's a fact.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: Like that's where.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: And Kendrick fine you finna be over here playing daddy
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: with your fine ass but.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Just cause a nigga fine it'll be tough no it
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: wouldn't just because a nigga fine don't mean the dick
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: is good so if the dick ain't good the girl
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: really ain't gonna catch.
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: Feelings let's say if the dick is good in this
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: case bro I'm talking about.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: If the dick is bad you can fuck your friend
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Not a dick bed. Now you know you just have
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: to have sex so you can have a baby. If
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: the dick bed, you're not going to go back. You're
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: not going to catch feelings. Oh, wait.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: They have to fuck to get the baby?
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: They definitely going to end up fucking again. No, not
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: if the dick is bad.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: You would have to inseminate. This theory of Kendrick's only
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: works without penetrative sex.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: This theory works of Kendrick's if the dick is bad.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: I'll add that caveat then. No, because you start to imagine. Bro,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: a bitch is not going to sit here and fall
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: for a nigga and fall in love with a nigga
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: with bad dick.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of here. How do you think
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: people end up?
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: What?
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: Are you crazy right now? No, maybe. No, you got
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: to think first.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: When they are getting into this dynamic. Women have never
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: came and they're married. When they're going into this with
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: an agreement, consensually, that we both want to be a mom,
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: we both want to be a dad, because we fuck
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: with each other the long way and we're not getting romantic.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: If the dick is bad, it's going to be a
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: lot easier.
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: How many times have you seen people's minds change, though?
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: Let's be real here.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: People's minds change when you have a baby that you
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: plan for. Which is why I'm saying I'm not mad
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: at this. If y'all are saying that this wouldn't work,
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: it's because maybe you haven't seen it work. But I'm
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: saying the other way hasn't worked either. No, what I'm
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: saying is I've absolutely seen the other way not work either.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: I've seen romantic people love each other, two friends got
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: fucking proposed to at their baby showers and the nigga
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: was gone before the baby's turned one now she told.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Me I ain't gonna make it down the altar y'all.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: You ain't get you ain't get proposed to at a
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: baby shower now if you did I probably would have
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: objected at this point I'm no.
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: Longer around at this point.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: I'm no longer being no the babies don't even make
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: it to a year and the relationship ends so that's
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying do.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: You think I'm more of a feminist than you.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Not after the town hall I don't wait why Nah.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: I think that you lean heavily into accountability sometimes. I
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: think feminists believe all rights and wrongs of women. And
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: I think they're not able to hold women accountable. I
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: think that you do, even with your friends, even with
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: their opinions, even with their opinions on you or how
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: they navigate relationships, you hold women accountable. And I think
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: a lot of feminists are blinded with a lot of
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: women being.
• 45:59
  Speaker 4: What else?
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: You think I'm pretty?
• 46:00
  Speaker 6: No.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: Bitch!
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, damn.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: I told you we ain't fucked. Now you want too much.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: No, actually, I was going to say, as someone I
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: feel like is.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: We both hold women accountable. This is true. However, I
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: think I'm more on the opposite.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, nah, nah, me, me. But.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm giving women no credit. I don't
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: think women can handle this. That's all I really want
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: to say. I think you have more faith that a
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: woman could be strong enough to do it. I don't
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: think so at all.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: I have more faith in knowing that there's women, when
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: they reach a certain age, when they've dealt with a
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: lot of things health-wise, that really want to be mothers.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: The idea of being a mother supersedes a father being around.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Or if they do want the family, like, there's family
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: units that work successfully that aren't two parents in the household.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: I guess, you know what?
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: There's one thing I would say that I'll agree with
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: you on to end it. Yes, and.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: You're right.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: This could work. But I believe if they could have
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: more with that person, they'd take it.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's no right or wrong here. Y'all
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: on the internet watching this motherfucking clip. I don't know
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: what the fuck. Y'all are more than welcome to feel
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: how you want to about this situation. Y'all can hate Kendrick,
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: never want to watch Insecure again because fuck Nathan.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: I don't care what you think. He could be talking
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: about this clip for years.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: All I'm saying is... When a man tells you how
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: they want to be, which a lot of men tell
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: you exactly what they want, how they want it, and
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: y'all think y'all could change their motherfucking minds. I like
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: when a man can sit up and say, this is
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: ideally what I think would work for me. And it's
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: because X, Y, Z. Yes, he has to get over trauma.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: We all do. That's why there's a lot of bitches
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: that go and date bitches because they done with niggas. Like,
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: I'm just fine with it.
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: I just want to say also, like, as a man
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: in this conversation, Like, I'm very certain.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Are you a man in this conversation?
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: I am a man in this conversation.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: I'm a man. As a man.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: As a man.
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: Who likes women in this conversation.
• 47:56
  Speaker 7: But I could 100% see a world where other dudes
• 48:00
  Speaker 7: would not be able to handle that kind of scenario
• 48:03
  Speaker 7: and it would end the same way.
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: Because it's the level of possession.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of dudes that deal with baby daddies.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: But a lot of them don't deal with it very well.
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: That's kind of what I'm getting at here.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: You got a kid with your homeboy.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: They should go to therapy too.
• 48:16
  Speaker 7: Imagine me and my homegirl. I wouldn't want to give
• 48:21
  Speaker 7: myself a net scenario. But let's say in this case,
• 48:23
  Speaker 7: me and my homegirl had a kid, blah, blah, blah.
• 48:25
  Speaker 7: It's like now I'm seeing her with other dudes. I
• 48:26
  Speaker 7: don't know if I'd be happy about that. That's some
• 48:28
  Speaker 7: other of my children.
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: Like what if.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: But even then.
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to have a. Yeah but we just
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: had Jamila on.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: And she literally said. Like her baby daddy. That's her homie.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: They're friends. Like you can.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Nah bro. You got to stop. She's married now.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: But you can co-parent. She didn't.
• 48:41
  Speaker 6: No.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: You can co-parent better when there's a healthy dynamic. Which
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: the romantic part of it is what made co-parenting so
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: difficult early on.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: I think that's admirable. But that wasn't it.
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: I'm saying that the guy is going to romanticize it too.
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm trying to say.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Now, I want to ask, last thing now, another reactionary,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: since we talking about all this shit, Faith Evans. Let's
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: see if you agree with her and let's see if
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: this might lean into some of our listeners. So Faith
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Evans just recently explained why sexual intimacy doesn't do much
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: for her as an adult. Now, let me know if
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: you think this could be a case for men, women,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: if you agree with her if you disagree with her
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: now Faith Evans said I used to fuck mad niggas
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: when I was little that's why dick don't really do
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: shit for me now when I was like probably around
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: 15 I 16, 17, I was pretty promiscuous. Now, Faith
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: Evans is now in her 40s. I'm going to insert
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: the clip so that y'all can actually hear it here.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: I used to get my ass beat for sneaking out
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: the window to go to somebody's studio that I didn't
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: even know I was going to be a recording artist. So,
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: you know. What?
• 49:53
  Speaker 7: I used to fuck.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: Mad niggas when I was little. That's why dick don't
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: really do shit for me now.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Like, your dick don't.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: Really do shit for me now.
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: Yo, what did that just say, shit?
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: No!
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: What?
• 50:03
  Speaker 4: Like, what did that say?
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait, that came out loud.
• 50:06
  Speaker 4: That came out loud. Wait, let me rephrase that.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: Let me rephrase that.
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: You know what?
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: I got to start over.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: You know what that means?
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: That's my CD to take.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: When I was, like, probably around 15, 15, 17... I'm
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: a pretty promiscuous.
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: It was just like, oh, I like him.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: So that's why as an adult, I'm like, it's not somebody,
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: you know, that doesn't mean a lot to me. But
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: we know that's kind of like how this culture.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: Is a lot.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I got that out the way when I
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: was a teenager. I ain't trying to get this money.
• 50:42
  Speaker 4: So I'm curious to know.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: If you think A woman who had a, or a man,
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: who's had a stint or a phase of promiscuity or
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: fucking a lot, like we have, like probably a lot
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: of our listeners have, if sexual intimacy gets impacted later
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: down the line.
• 51:09
  Speaker 6: No.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: You don't feel that way?
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: Well, it's a lot, though.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, a lot is subjective.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I have a friend right now that
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I talk to a few times a week, so... That's
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: a lot. Most of my friends I talk to once
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: a week, but we've gotten closer and she is currently
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: an escort. And intimacy has not even shifted in her brain.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: Sexual intimacy.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: No, like she's still able to lock in and get
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: very emotional about men. Sometimes she'll get anxious about having
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: to admit her work. You know, I feel like every
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: hoe I know got a little side business. You know
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? Like she do lashes.
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: I was going to say lashes too.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Are you serious?
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to like.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: She does lashes.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: No, they all do real estate.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Real estate, lashes. Oh, it's another one. It's another one.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: Estheticians.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: I've got life insurance, escargot hoe. But you know what
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: I'm saying?
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: So a nigga came over to her house this week
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: that it's been going great. And I guess it's a
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: we listen and we judge. He was like, damn, she
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: has a lit condo in Wynwood. And he was like,
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: I thought you just got a suite, like a Phoenix suite.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: And she hit me and was like, I just know
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: how you feel about me is going to change. And
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, but you weren't that into him, were you?
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: She was like, yeah, but the intimacy is so great.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: He's not about to lay up and cuddle with me
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: when you know I'm a hoe bitch. And I'm like, wow,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: that's interesting because it isn't necessarily how she views intimacy
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: with people. It's how she thinks. They will view intimacy
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: with her. She doesn't believe he will lock in because
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: she is a hoe, I guess. And so she's kind
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: of like, I just want to keep this up as
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: much as I can. So she told him a lie.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: And that lie is that she, I guess that's a
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: pseudo lie. She was dating an athlete that was married
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: and he like kind of paid her off. And she
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: just said her ex broke up with her and he
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: used to take care of her and he left her
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of money.
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: Is that much better?
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: The lie?
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: No.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: She left out the married, but again.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, to me, though, sexual intimacy, not doing much
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: for you as an adult because you had a lot
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: of sex. I think when I saw this, I was like, damn,
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: I'm the opposite. It's more. I need sexual intimacy now
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: more than ever. Like, I won't have sex without the intimacy.
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: I need you to cuddle. I need you to care
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: for me. I need us to have a level of
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: a relationship. It's why... On Town Hall the other day,
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: I realized I was being a hypocrite on this podcast.
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: One of our patrons wrote a comment and then brought
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: it up after Town Hall and was like, Mandy, I
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: got a question. Why do you not want your partner
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: to see a person more than two times? And I
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: realized it was because I had an insecurity about Wait.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: Did you say that or I said that?
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: I said that. I said I didn't want him to
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: see a bitch more than twice. I needed it to
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: just be set.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, because that was a rule.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: No, that was my rule. I mean, maybe it's your
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: rule too, but for me, I've always said that.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: No, we started that last year.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: I've always said that. I said, I'm cool with him
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: fucking whoever, but I don't want him to be with
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: a bitch more than twice. I don't want him to
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: know how many siblings they got, what's their last name.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: And I was like, damn, I'm being a hypocrite because
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: I don't have those relationships with the men in my life,
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: and I don't want that. And so it's very hypocritical
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: of me to say, I want you to be intimate
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: with me and only me, but you got to just
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: fuck these bitches and not care about them. And then
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: with me, I'm like, I'm not just fucking niggas just
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: to fuck them. I care about these people. And I
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, fuck. I'm asking him to do what
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: I can't do. Do you know what the double standard is?
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, men can't handle it. Maybe more.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: No, I was going to say, well, yeah, I guess
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: in that way, but. The men can table their feelings
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: with you because generally speaking, let's just say one may
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: have another partner, your primary partner.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: All of them have other partners.
• 55:11
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: Whereas the women with boyfriend number one that he may
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: care about may be a lead on to them wanting more. Generally,
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: women who are feeling care about and who are experiencing
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: a deeper emotional connection with someone don't know how to
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: make it just casual. And so if, Another relationship isn't
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: allowed in your dynamic. That's obviously a threat to your relationship.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: But that's the other thing. I don't do the hierarchy shit. Like,
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: I know the people in my life that I care
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: about and what they give me.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: If there was no hierarchy, then you wouldn't be making rules.
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: No, no, no.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: I'm saying I don't care about their hierarchy. Like, I
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: don't care about being a part of someone's hierarchy. And
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: if you feel like you got to leave me for
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: another woman because now you want to be monogamous.
• 55:56
  Speaker 4: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be sad.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: You don't care about hierarchy with boyfriend number one? How
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: could that be possible if you.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: Didn't want it? We don't live in the same city.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: I've been very clear that I don't want marriage. I
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: don't want a baby. I don't want to move in
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: with you. He'll never move to Atlanta. If he meets
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: someone that can be with him every fucking day, what
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: am I going to do?
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: You don't tell a lot of lies. I don't even
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: think you know that this one isn't 100% truth.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: What isn't 100% truth?
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: It's okay to know that you could desire a hierarchy
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: even if it's impossible.
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: No, it's fine. But that's what I'm saying. Ooh, I
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: could believe in fucking unicorns. And it's not impossible. Like,
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: to me, I think that if we open our relationships
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: like we do, there's a fucking chance a bitch gonna
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: come in and swoon a nigga over. There's a chance,
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: and he knows my other partners, that maybe I'm gonna
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: want something from them that he can't give me. It's what...
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: We open ourselves to, I can't bring my fucking neck
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: around whether he chooses me for the rest of his
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: life or not. But I'm giving up on that shit.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: It all ties back to Kendrick and bitches catching feelings.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: And I think that's where I'm having a more difficult
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: time with expressing like how much I love a nigga
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: and them not feeling like I like them enough because
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: I got to talk to these other niggas. And it's
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: just like, well, I really like my life right now.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: And as soon as I start feeling like this is
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: getting complicated and I have to over-explain myself or sell
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: myself to any of these niggas, capisce?
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: Like Mandy said, she'll block a nigga quick.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: It's not even that I'll block a nigga. I've done
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: the thing where I have to over-explain or sell myself
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: to what I mean, which is why I say I
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: do check-ins. Are you getting everything you need out of
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: me in this relationship? Now, one of my niggas was
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: overseas and he wanted it. He was asking for a lot.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: And I was just I felt really bad when he
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: got back to the States because I was like, damn,
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: you were hitting me. You were wanting videos. You were
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: wanting photos. I was really busy and did not give
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: that to you. And bitch, he put me on ice
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: for a little bit. And I was like, I'm so sorry,
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: because I realized the dynamic we have. It's not, you
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: don't ask for a lot. I don't ask for a lot.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: So like the fact that I literally was like, you
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: asking for too much right now. I was just like, damn,
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Because I do normally check in. Am I
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: giving you what you want?
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: We should have a longer conversation on a future episode.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe we'll do it for horrible. About expectations, because we've
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: been doing it like this in droplets on each episode.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: And I think we really should go through what could
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: be standard, how to ask for them, how to receive them,
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: how to say no. Like, I think that would be
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: good because we've been through a lot of ebbs and
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: flows of it personally.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm down with that.
• 58:39
  Speaker 6: Damn.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Well, should I got a whole nother outline for another episode?
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: We only got to like two topics, but hopefully y'all enjoyed.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: us figuring out this fucking clusterfuck of a goddamn life
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: that we have to do as humans. We are waiting
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: for the aliens to join us. The robots are here,
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: but I am still waiting for the aliens. And not
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: the ones at the bottom of the ocean. The ones
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: that are giants, seven feet tall with seven feet of dick.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: That's who I'm waiting for. Please join us here on Earth.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: I come in peace. I hope you do too. Anyways,
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: thank y'all for joining. Make sure you get our book.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: No Holes Barred, wherever you get books. It is available. Audio,
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: you can hear us read it and all that shit. Again,
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: wherever you get audio books. And then if you want
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: to join in on all the other combos, the sex topics,
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: the town halls, the bonus episodes, the blogs, The cinemas.
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: Join us over on Patreon. That's patreon.com backslash horrible decisions.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: Thank y'all so very much for tuning in to yet
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: another episode, though, of Decisions.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: Decisions.
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: Hi, everybody. See y'all possessed hoes next week.