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Five Clear Signs Of Emotional Immaturity · Head Shrink Inc.

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Are you emotionally immature or do you know someone who is emotionally immature?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about five signs that you might be emotionally mature, or at least know someone who is.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: You are listening to Edge Drinking, your ancestor life, relationships, and daily living.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so whenever I make a social media post about emotional maturity, fragile ego, things like that, people seem to overwhelmingly love to talk about people in their lives that have emotional immaturity.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wanted to make a podcast about it and talk about what are some of the signs that a person may have a fragile ego, ego, or may have some emotional maturity issues that are going on for them.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: And inevitably, a lot of my content, just by happenstance, centers around estrangement and no contact.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so inevitably, when I talk about emotional maturity, it's usually the kid talking about their parent who is emotionally mature.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: But what I want to be very clear about, like this is this is not just related to estrangement and no contact.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: It could be within working, it could be with professionals, it could be in your job, it could be in your family, it could be with your siblings.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so friend group, whatever.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I it's these I want to point out five things that I've noticed as I've worked in this profession for a long time.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you like what I have to say, you can put in your own, send me messages of what you think is emotionally immature that people do, or you could go and onto any of my social media pages and comment there.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the first signs that a person has either a fragile ego or emotional immaturity is they struggle to take responsibility for things.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: So when something goes wrong, they they often will look for someone to blame rather than say, you know, what part did I play in this?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I see that a lot within couples, and it has to do with low emotional intelligence.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that could be a whole nother podcast that I'll probably do eventually here.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: But they struggle to take responsibility, and you know when you see this, right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: So you point like, hey, I didn't like that you did this thing, and immediately they become defensive, or immediately they say, Well, you do this thing also, and they don't address the thing and then it derails.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: So they struggle to take responsibility.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Number two, they react instead of responding.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I just referenced this a little bit.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: They get angry, they get defensive, they shut down, they become sarcastic, they impulsive behavior can take over.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, think about you're in a you're in a relationship with someone and you point out their flaw, and they immediately fly off the handle and get outrageous, punch a hole in the wall, punch a hole in the door, kick the dog, right?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: They they do something that is just impulsive and kind of outrageous.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that behavior often gets excused by people that are people pleasers, people that are codependent, people that don't have self-confidence.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: We see, I see that time and time again, where people excuse that kind of behavior.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Where you often see it is long people that have been married long term in emotionally abusive relationships.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know how dad is, well, you know how mom is, he's doing his best, she's doing her best.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it gets it gets overlooked and excused, and then people wonder why there are no contact with their kids.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: But they get they do all of these things rather than actually think about the thing that they're responding to.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of reacting, they need to be thinking.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that I talk about, and this will be number three, but number one of the things I talk about with my clients often is comfort versus discomfort.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so an emotionally immature person has difficulty tolerating discomfort, so they avoid difficult conversations, criticism, some disappointment, uncomfortable emotions rather than talking about them or working through them.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I see that a lot in marital relationships, and I see that a lot with parents of teenagers, because teenagers are doing some wild things.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: They always have been doing wild things.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: And some parents just don't they don't want to have a conversation because it might mean that the teenager gets mad at them, it might mean that the teenager cuts off contact with them, it might mean that the teenager goes and sulks in their room for a little bit.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: But ultimately, what's in the best interest of the teenager is to have a an uncomfortable question.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so when when a when I ask a parent, like, this behavior that you are doing as the parent, who is it in the best interest in?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer is like, oh, it's in the best interest of me, the parent, then usually that's the wrong thing because we need to be doing things that are in the best interest of our kids, and that's helping our kids learn how to tolerate discomfort.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's probably happened all through society.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like someone grows up in a difficult manner, and so then they tell themselves, I'm not gonna have my kid go through this.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so we often try to raise our kids in a way where they're more comfortable than we were, but oftentimes that's not a great way to raise our kids, anyways.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Another topic for future podcasts.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, number four, and they make everything about themselves, so someone else's feelings, boundaries, or needs may be interpreted as personal attacks.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I really see this where especially on social media, when you have people that make a topic their whole thing.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: So, in my instance, I I talk a lot about estrangements and bad behavior in general, crummy behavior.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'll stitch people, I'll talk about the crummy behavior or or the estrangement or whatever.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And there are people that what I think is very common sense logical viewpoints about behavior and estrangement.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: There were people that take it as a personal attack because that's how they identify in life.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Rather than thinking, huh, I wonder if there's some truthfulness to what this person is saying, they immediately make their own stitches about me, or they immediately block me and then talk about me, make burner accounts, et cetera, et cetera.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: So they they will make everything about themselves, they'll do everything but self-reflect.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so it then seems like a personal attack.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: I rarely, rarely ever call people directly out in any of my social media posts.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I always debate whether I should.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: I did a poll of of the people that follow me and overwhelm it was 100% I should always tag the person.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't, I don't always do that because I don't know, sometimes it feels right, and other times it does not feel right to do it.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because ultimately I know what happens on social media is that when you tag someone, oftentimes people will go to that page and you know harass that person.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want people to be harassed, I just want people to know that there's a right way to behave and there's a wrong way to behave.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, when they when people make everything about themselves, they have a hard time seeing a situation from another person's perspective.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: And when you have a hard time, when you have difficulty doing that, it's just a sign that you are most likely emotionally immature and that you are most likely you most likely have a fragile ego.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And we got to get that stronger, we got to get that ego to become stronger.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is a big one.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Number five is a big one.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: When people are emotionally mature, they expect others to manage their emotions.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: So they may expect a partner, parent, friend, coworker to make them feel better, fix their problems, prevent them from being upset.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I I see this often between husbands and wives.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: And every once in a while you'll see this video of a husband being outrageous and getting upset at another husband.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Who comes in to stop all the madness?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: The female of the species, they often will come in and try to pull away their partners who are acting the fool, or who are being outrageous over something as simple as a parking lot.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: They're being outrageous over something as simple as a Disney stroller.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: That was an actual one that I did a video on several months ago.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it turns out the wife's now divorcing the husband.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I like to think I might have had something to do with that because I did tag the woman and I said, You are welcome to reach out.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is horrible behavior on your husband's part.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, when when you can't control your own emotions about things, and when you expect your partner to do that for you, that is a great sign that you're emotionally immature.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's what the worst one of these is when a parent is out of control and the kid has to do it.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: The kid has to go to solve the problem for the adult parent.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the that's horrible for kids to have to do.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: So not only are you emotionally immature, you're a you're a crummy parent as well.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's lots of other things that could be said, but these are just five signs.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional maturity is all around us.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: You will can you will constantly see emotional immaturity being exhibited on social media because people love that gets views.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And you see it on airlines a lot where people are kind of outrageous.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: You see it in parking lots.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Road rage is another example of emotional immaturity.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like let people drive wherever they need to drive.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Some people are crummy drivers.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be pulling guns out on people because you're mad at how they're driving.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're not the actual king of the road.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: I know there's the song about it, but you are not the king of the road.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: So if people drive crazy in front of you, let them live their life and drive crazy and go get in an accident.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be tailgating them because it's a great sign that you have emotional immaturity and that you are emotionally immature.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Anyhow, I would love for you to come on here and give me some of your ideas on what emotional immaturity, what signs of emotional immaturity people often will exhibit.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm sure you have great examples.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening today, guys.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate it.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: We will try to be back next week with an interview.