Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #104 Surviving Isolation and Homeschooling
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: It's The Happy Family's podcast with doctor Justin Coilson, the
- 0:03Speaker 1: podcast for the time Poor Parent who just Wants Answers
- 0:06Speaker 1: Now Where Luke and Susie, a husband and wife radio
- 0:09Speaker 1: team and the parents of three young boys. And today
- 0:12Speaker 1: we're looking at a question from Jenny, who's looking at
- 0:14Speaker 1: surviving homeschool and isolation.
- 0:16Speaker 2: Surviving homeschool and isolation. Survival is the key for Jenny.
- 0:21Speaker 3: You know, I've had some parents tell me that their
- 0:24Speaker 3: children have already complained about the teacher this year and said,
- 0:26Speaker 3: I don't want this teacher next year. I've had some
- 0:31Speaker 3: parents say they've expelled all three of their children from
- 0:33Speaker 3: the home school already and the teacher was fired for
- 0:36Speaker 3: drinking on the job as well.
- 0:37Speaker 2: In time fases, the students need to know that the
- 0:41Speaker 2: teachers also put in similar complaints. It doesn't want those
- 0:43Speaker 2: students back next year.
- 0:45Speaker 3: It's a tricky situation, isn't it.
- 0:47Speaker 1: Well, it's just I think the thing is, it's just
- 0:49Speaker 1: so unexpected. I think we knew what we were going
- 0:52Speaker 1: into with twenty twenty when January was here, and then
- 0:54Speaker 1: by March everything had kind of changed. So let's look
- 0:57Speaker 1: at Jenny's question specifically, doctor Justin Coilson. She said, surviving
- 1:01Speaker 1: homeschool in isolation, particularly how to get the kids enough
- 1:04Speaker 1: exercise so they're not climbing the walls when they have
- 1:07Speaker 1: closed all the public playgrounds. So I think this is
- 1:10Speaker 1: about balancing getting the exercises they need, getting them out,
- 1:13Speaker 1: getting them the playtime, but then also achieving the homeschooling goals.
- 1:17Speaker 3: Well, let's talk a little bit about what children really
- 1:19Speaker 3: need and what we need to be doing as parents,
- 1:23Speaker 3: recognizing that it's almost impossible for us to get all
- 1:26Speaker 3: of this right. Okay, So I think the first thing
- 1:28Speaker 3: that I would emphasize is that children do not need
- 1:31Speaker 3: another teacher. They actually need parents, especially right now. And Yeah,
- 1:34Speaker 3: I know we're supposed to be working through all the
- 1:38Speaker 3: all of the course content, all of the student packs
- 1:41Speaker 3: that are being sent home by schools, and I know
- 1:44Speaker 3: that a lot of parents are sort of thinking, well,
- 1:46Speaker 3: I'm paying all this money for this private school and
- 1:48Speaker 3: they're sending me home.
- 1:48Speaker 4: All this works. So we need to make sure that
- 1:50Speaker 4: we do it.
- 1:51Speaker 3: But we've got to think lower our expectations. Number One,
- 1:55Speaker 3: we're not school teachers, and even those of us who
- 1:58Speaker 3: are school teachers hear from parents who are teachers. They're like, well,
- 2:02Speaker 3: I can teach other people's children, but teaching my own
- 2:04Speaker 3: children is a totally different bag.
- 2:05Speaker 4: I'm not enjoying this at all. Doesn't work as well.
- 2:08Speaker 3: So I would say, first of all, let's take the
- 2:10Speaker 3: pressure off and stop trying to home school your kids
- 2:14Speaker 3: unless you are a homeschool parent, in which case you
- 2:17Speaker 3: know that you probably do one to two hours a day,
- 2:18Speaker 3: especially for primary school children, and then you move on
- 2:22Speaker 3: to other things. Most of us are not actually homeschool parents.
- 2:25Speaker 3: We're just trying to get our children to do a
- 2:27Speaker 3: little bit of school work. So lower your expectations. Do
- 2:31Speaker 3: maybe one to two hours of school work per day
- 2:35Speaker 3: if your children are in primary school, and that should
- 2:38Speaker 3: mainly be reading, plus maybe some of the activities that
- 2:41Speaker 3: are being sent through. I don't know if you found
- 2:42Speaker 3: this look in, Susie, but once your children get past
- 2:45Speaker 3: about grade three or grade four, I don't know if
- 2:48Speaker 3: you do. But I don't know how to do the
- 2:50Speaker 3: stuff that they have to do.
- 2:52Speaker 2: Like change it, don't they How they calculate the mathematics
- 2:55Speaker 2: is different to what we got taught. When will kids.
- 2:57Speaker 3: I've got a PhD, but I can't do grade formats.
- 3:00Speaker 1: That's right.
- 3:01Speaker 4: I hear you.
- 3:01Speaker 1: I totally hear.
- 3:04Speaker 3: And what I'm also hearing from parents consistently is that
- 3:06Speaker 3: this pressure to get these kids to do their six
- 3:10Speaker 3: hours of school a day is really rupturing the relationship
- 3:13Speaker 3: at home. It's severing connections and making it so hard
- 3:16Speaker 3: for everybody to actually like each other. So again, one
- 3:20Speaker 3: to two hours, take the pressure off. Even if the
- 3:23Speaker 3: school has sent home a learning pack that's going to
- 3:25Speaker 3: take you six hours a day, contact the school and
- 3:27Speaker 3: say thanks so much, really appreciate your sending it through,
- 3:29Speaker 3: but we're not going to be able to keep up.
- 3:30Speaker 4: It's just not working for our family.
- 3:32Speaker 3: I mean, how are you supposed to do it while
- 3:33Speaker 3: you're also working from home and looking after three or
- 3:37Speaker 3: four kids or whatever it might be, Or if you're
- 3:38Speaker 3: a single parent and you're just trying to do everything.
- 3:41Speaker 3: I think that we just need to be kinder to
- 3:43Speaker 3: ourselves and maybe even to be kinder to our children.
- 3:45Speaker 4: Now, this is a really important point that I need
- 3:47Speaker 4: to make though.
- 3:49Speaker 3: Whatever, because some parents are really worried that their children
- 3:52Speaker 3: are going to fall behind, not be doing quite as
- 3:56Speaker 3: well next year. Whatever schooling your children miss out on,
- 4:01Speaker 3: I can assure you, especially if they're in primary school.
- 4:03Speaker 3: It may be even up to grade seven, on grade eight,
- 4:05Speaker 3: it's not going to have any significant impact on their
- 4:07Speaker 3: long term academic outcomes or their life outcomes. The school
- 4:10Speaker 3: system the way it's set up that we do thirteen
- 4:12Speaker 3: years of school. It's kind of just this standardized process
- 4:15Speaker 3: that we go through. But we don't have to do
- 4:17Speaker 3: thirteen years of school to become a successful adult.
- 4:20Speaker 4: It's not a compulsory item, and it will be okay
- 4:23Speaker 4: if we take our foot off.
- 4:26Speaker 3: The throttle, sorry, our foot off the accelerator and just
- 4:29Speaker 3: let the kids relax a little bit.
- 4:31Speaker 4: So hopefully that answers at least the first part of
- 4:33Speaker 4: the question.
- 4:33Speaker 1: But the next one is making sure our kids are
- 4:36Speaker 1: getting enough movement when all the public playgrounds are closed.
- 4:40Speaker 1: Dr Justinkilson, what say you?
- 4:43Speaker 3: There are five things that our children need to be well.
- 4:46Speaker 3: The first of those is connection. There needs to be
- 4:48Speaker 3: regular connection touch points throughout the day. The second one
- 4:53Speaker 3: is physical activity, and we'll talk about that in just
- 4:55Speaker 3: a set because that's the crux of this question. The
- 4:57Speaker 3: third one is that they need some time to just
- 4:59Speaker 3: be still. And once again, if you're trying to push
- 5:02Speaker 3: your children through a six hour school day. At home,
- 5:05Speaker 3: there's not going to be a lot of time for stillness.
- 5:07Speaker 3: It's okay to just relax, stare up at the clouds,
- 5:10Speaker 3: go for a walk around the yard, have some quiet time,
- 5:13Speaker 3: reading a book, whatever it might be.
- 5:14Speaker 4: Stillness is important.
- 5:16Speaker 3: Next, they need to keep on learning, and finally, they
- 5:18Speaker 3: need to find ways to make a difference in the
- 5:19Speaker 3: lives of other people. So let's talk about that second
- 5:23Speaker 3: critical idea, which is what the question really was, is
- 5:25Speaker 3: how do I help these kids to get physically active.
- 5:28Speaker 3: You can be as creative as you want with this.
- 5:29Speaker 3: I know that there are all sorts of regulations depending
- 5:31Speaker 3: on where people might be listening to this podcast, and
- 5:34Speaker 3: some places you're just not really supposed.
- 5:36Speaker 4: To be out at all. Other places there's a lot
- 5:38Speaker 4: more flexibility.
- 5:39Speaker 3: But what I would say is work with the children
- 5:42Speaker 3: on things that they're going to enjoy doing, and find
- 5:45Speaker 3: a way that you can involve yourself in that physical
- 5:49Speaker 3: activity with them to the extent that that's possible. The
- 5:52Speaker 3: more that children feel like we're in this with them,
- 5:55Speaker 3: the more enjoyable it will be. Now, one idea that
- 5:57Speaker 3: has come up consistently on so We've got our Justin
- 6:00Speaker 3: Courson t Happy Family's Facebook page, but we've also started
- 6:03Speaker 3: another little page called bunker Down with Justin and Kylie,
- 6:06Speaker 3: and people are sharing just the most brilliant ideas for
- 6:09Speaker 3: how to be physically active, or how to be connected,
- 6:11Speaker 3: or how to get through this very challenging period.
- 6:14Speaker 4: And one thing that I think came from the page
- 6:16Speaker 4: I can't quite remember now, but would be really useful.
- 6:20Speaker 3: Get a jar, a bunch of pieces of paper and
- 6:22Speaker 3: get the kids to write down every physical activity they
- 6:25Speaker 3: can think of that they might like to do. You
- 6:26Speaker 3: might come up with five, or ten, or twenty, it
- 6:29Speaker 3: doesn't really matter. Keep adding to the jar every single day.
- 6:32Speaker 3: Whenever another idea comes up, throw those ideas into the jar,
- 6:36Speaker 3: and then when the day begins, reach into the jar
- 6:38Speaker 3: and say, well.
- 6:39Speaker 4: Look, this is our physical activity today.
- 6:40Speaker 3: It's that, you know, whatever one you pull out, So
- 6:42Speaker 3: it might be a family bike ride or a family walk.
- 6:44Speaker 3: It might be kicking a ball or throwing a frisbee
- 6:47Speaker 3: or throwing a netball.
- 6:50Speaker 4: There may be balloon races up and down the corridor
- 6:52Speaker 4: in the house. Maybe you're going.
- 6:54Speaker 3: To put together a little exercise circuit and get the
- 6:57Speaker 3: kids doing some leg raises or car raises or burpies
- 7:01Speaker 3: or star jumps or whatever it is that you want
- 7:03Speaker 3: to do, depending on how physically what's the word physically
- 7:07Speaker 3: knowledgeable you are around all those exercise sorts of things.
- 7:10Speaker 3: In fact, my sixteen year old has done that for
- 7:12Speaker 3: her little sisters. So the sixteen year old gets out
- 7:14Speaker 3: of the yard with the twelve year old, the ten
- 7:16Speaker 3: year old and the six year old and they're running
- 7:18Speaker 3: these little aerobics classes every day for about thirty or
- 7:21Speaker 3: forty minutes and they're loving it. There's all kinds of
- 7:24Speaker 3: creative things that we can do.
- 7:26Speaker 4: We just need.
- 7:26Speaker 3: To slow down, recognize we can take the pressure off
- 7:31Speaker 3: a little bit and find a way that the kids
- 7:34Speaker 3: can get that hour of physical activity each day.
- 7:37Speaker 2: It's been incredibly helpful. It's been very practical, and I
- 7:40Speaker 2: think the thing that I've enjoyed about the answer to
- 7:42Speaker 2: Jenny's question is no matter which way you look at it,
- 7:44Speaker 2: no matter what part of the question is, is take
- 7:46Speaker 2: it easy on yourself, slow down, everything will be okay.
- 7:49Speaker 2: You don't need dependic and you don't need to rush justin.
- 7:51Speaker 3: That's really the reassurance that I'm trying to give parents.
- 7:54Speaker 3: We're going to be okay and a few months back,
- 7:56Speaker 3: in a few months time.
- 7:57Speaker 4: We'll look back and say, look how we did that.
- 7:58Speaker 4: We came together, Our family is tight, well connected.
- 8:01Speaker 3: We found ways to enjoy each other again, and hopefully
- 8:05Speaker 3: we're actually going to implement some habits that won't fall
- 8:07Speaker 3: away once the regulations do.
- 8:10Speaker 2: Our guests, Doctor Justin Kilson from Happy Families, thank you
- 8:12Speaker 2: so much, mate, Always pleasure.
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