Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / How to Manage a Boss Who Is Never Available
Transcript
- Lucas: I was talking to a product manager at a mid-sized tech company last week. Her boss is the VP of product, and she described him as a ghost. back to back meetings from 8 AM to 6 PM, often double-booked, and he responds to emails maybe once a week. Luna: A ghost? That's a new one. I've heard of the ghosting boss, but usually that's about feedback, not basic availability. Lucas: Right. This is about a boss who simply isn't there when you need a decision. And she's not alone. A recent survey I saw — I think it was LinkedIn's 2025 workplace report — found that 62% of employees say their manager is hard to reach for urgent decisions. Luna: Sixty-two percent. That's huge. So practically two out of three of us are dealing with some version of this. Lucas: Exactly. And the cost is real. Projects stall, teams get frustrated, and people start making decisions without the boss — which can backfire. So today I want to talk about how to navigate a boss who is never available, without making yourself a nuisance. Luna: Alright, I'm all ears. Because I've definitely had bosses where I felt like I was competing with their calendar. Lucas: So first, let's understand why they become so unavailable. Usually it's not malice — it's overcommitment or poor time management. Some bosses genuinely believe they need to be in every meeting. Others just say yes to everything. Luna: But that doesn't help you when you're stuck waiting on a sign-off. What's your first piece of advice? Lucas: The first strategy I call the 'pre-read' technique. Instead of trying to schedule a 30-minute meeting, send a one-page document with the decision context, your recommendation, and a clear ask. Then send a short message: 'I've sent over a pre-read for decision X. Can you review and let me know by EOD?' Luna: So you're giving them the information in a way they can process quickly, without needing to talk. Lucas: Exactly. And you're setting an expectation of a deadline. Some bosses will respond with a thumbs-up or a quick edit. Others might ignore it, but at least you've created a paper trail. Luna: And if they ignore it? You've still got that trail. Lucas: That's right. Which brings me to the second strategy: build a network of peer decision-makers. If your boss is unreachable, find three to five people at the same level or one level above who can give you a yes or no on routine matters. Luna: That's smart. You're essentially creating a backup approval chain. But does that require your boss's blessing? Lucas: Ideally, yes, you want to get a blanket approval: 'For low-risk decisions under $10,000, check with Sarah in finance or Tom in operations.' You can propose this in an email to your boss — frame it as increasing efficiency. Luna: And if they don't respond even to that proposal? Then you're back to square one. Lucas: Then you escalate smartly. Not by complaining, but by sending a weekly status email that lists every pending decision, how long it's been waiting, and the impact on the project. CC your boss's boss — but only after you've clearly tried the other routes. Luna: That's a delicate move. You don't want to seem like you're going over their head. Lucas: No, you want to frame it as a transparency update. 'Here's where we are, here's what's blocked, I'm doing everything I can.' The goal is to make the bottleneck visible without blaming your boss personally. Luna: Alright, I think that's practical. But there's also an emotional toll, right? When your boss is never there, you start to feel invisible. Lucas: That's a real concern. And that's where the last piece of advice comes in: schedule a recurring 'office hours' slot. Even if it's just 15 minutes every two weeks. Put it on their calendar as a standing invite. If they cancel, you're no worse off. Luna: But what if they consistently cancel? Then you've got a pattern you can point to. Lucas: Exactly. And if they cancel three times in a row, you can send a polite note: 'I noticed our last three meetings were cancelled. I want to make sure we stay aligned. Could we try a different time or format?' Luna: That's respectful but clear. And by the way, speaking of staying aligned, I want to mention something. This podcast is able to stay ad-free because of listeners like you who support us on buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: Yeah, it really makes a difference. Every contribution helps us keep producing episodes like this one, with no ads and no sponsors. So if you've gotten value from this or any previous episode, consider throwing a few bucks our way. Luna: Right. It's a simple way to give back if this content has helped you navigate a difficult boss. Now, back to the topic — we were talking about scheduling office hours. Lucas: Yes. And one more tactic: use asynchronous communication tools like Slack or Teams, but be specific. Instead of 'Hey, quick question,' write 'Decision needed: Should we proceed with vendor A or B? Budget impact $5K. Option A is faster, option B is cheaper.' Luna: So you're making it as easy as possible for them to respond with a one-word answer. Lucas: Exactly. And if they still don't respond within 24 hours, follow up once. If no response after 48 hours, you have to consider that silence equals consent — but only for low-risk items. Luna: That's a dangerous assumption if you're wrong. Have you seen that backfire? Lucas: I have. A friend of mine once assumed silence meant approval on a vendor contract, and the boss later said they were waiting for more data. So you need to establish the 'silence is consent' rule explicitly with your boss first. Luna: Right, get it in writing. So overall, the theme is: don't wait for them to make time — create systems that work around their unavailability. Lucas: Exactly. Use pre-reads, build a decision network, escalate transparently, and carve out a regular touchpoint. It's not ideal, but it beats stalling your career waiting for a ghost. Luna: And that's a good note to end on. Thanks for listening, everyone. We'll be back next week with another episode.