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When a narcissist feels like you abandon them · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I am your favorite selfaware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is your first time seeing
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  my face or hear my voice. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  needs my platform on social media to raise awareness for
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  NPD, get more people into therapy like myself, and also
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  validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said disorder
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  said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about when a narcissist feels
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  abandoned. Woof.
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  When that narcissistic person in your life feels like you are
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  abandoning them. But first of all, what happens?
• 0:37
  Today's episode Y'all check out the self love brand I Love Me.
• 0:42
  This is the I'm Strong version of it right here.
• 0:44
  Y'all also have the Self Love journal that's available on
• 0:48
  Amazon. Check it out as well.
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  Y'all. But yeah, when a narcissistic
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  person feels abandoned, toxic person feels like you're
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  abandoning them. You might want to buckle up.
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  Y'all, because a lot of toxic, toxic, narcissistic people feel
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  like you're walking out on them. And some of them, but they feel
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  like you're like it really kind of depends, but a lot of them, a
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  lot of narcissists think that you are abandoning them for
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  someone else. Like that's the first place a
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  lot of narcissist minds go. Like you have to have someone
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  else. This is the only reason that you
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  will be leaving me, not because of my emotional abuse, physical,
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  whatever is going on in the relationship.
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  Not because what I have done to you.
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  Not because of the cheating, the line and manipulation, the
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  stealing, the cut, the, the verbal physical.
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  Not whatever that. Not whatever they're doing to
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  you. You have to be leaving me for
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  somebody else. So I feel like you are
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  abandoning me because you found somebody better and that
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  activates that narcissistic person.
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  And when a narcissist is activated, you have to be
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  careful. Because some of them, when they
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  feel like you're when they get activated, because you might
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  like, they might actually have abandoned issues in the past.
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  Their mom might have left and their dad might have walked up.
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  They might have lost, they might have a lot of somebody that
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  might have abandoned them in childhood or whatever.
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  So when they get activated, their fear of loss is activated.
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  They might become actually dangerous as hell to you.
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  So you might really need to be careful during this situation.
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  I'm not good. I'm not telling you to stay in a
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  toxic, abusive relationship. That's not what the hell I'm
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  saying. I'm saying when you decide to
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  leave, be careful. But you guys believe, make a
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  plan and stay as safe as you possibly can.
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  Because a lot of narcissistic people do not care about your
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  safety. They don't care.
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  Let's be real. A lot of narcissists do not care
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  about yourself. They don't care how you feel,
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  They don't care how you act. They don't care how you behave.
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  They are only in it to serve themselves.
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  And how, how did this, how does this benefit me?
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  Is the question that comes out of a lot of narcissist mouse.
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  Like how does this benefit me in some way, shape or form?
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  How is this to my benefit? You know what I mean?
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  So when you're doing with the narcissist the person that feels
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  abandoned, they might lose. They damn minds.
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  They might become extremely obsessive.
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  They might pop up at your job, at your house, at your mom's
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  house, at your dad's house, your best friend's house, begging,
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  pleading, crying. They might check into the
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  hospital or psych ward or something like that to get your
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  attention. They might be like, say, they
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  might actually start stalking you.
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  You have to be when they feel abandoned, like you, not like,
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  yeah. Let me reiterate this real
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  quick. You When you decide to leave a
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  narcissist, you're not abandoning them.
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  Just because they might feel that, or they might actually say
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  it, are you going to abandon me on anybody else?
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  Just because they say it or they feel it does not mean you're
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  actually doing that. You are leaving that person.
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  You are choosing yourself, which is fine.
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  Just be careful. But like I say, in the mind of a
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  narcissist, you are abandoning me and I can't sometimes.
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  Sometimes. I'm not trying to scare you, I
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  promise. But sometimes they get into that
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  I if I can't have you no one will type of mindset and some of
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  them get really get into that. I can't live without you type
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  stuff. So they go try to take you out
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  and I can't live without you. Or they might threaten to
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  threaten they might threaten self harm if you don't.
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  If you don't pick the phone up in 5 minutes I'm going to run my
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  car. I'm going to run my Subaru into
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  a tree. If you don't answer the phone in
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  a minute and 1/2 this will be the last time you hear from me.
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  I'm just telling you I know you don't care about me right now.
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  I know you don't keep a damn about me right now, and how do I
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  feel? But you're going to wish you
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  had. And I'm just telling y'all, I
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  know I'm making a joke, but like, so seriously, so many
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  people will lose their minds. And if you go back to y'all, if
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  they lose their damn minds and you'd go back to them, buckle
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  your safety belt because they're going to get worse.
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  Because now they know what works to get you back.
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  So they're going to keep doing the same thing over and over and
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  over again, because why wouldn't they?
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  Think about in this situation, What if this has worked before?
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  If this has worked previously, why wouldn't I do it again?
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  If this works, why wouldn't I do it again?
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  Think about it right there. If me begging, pleading crime,
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  harassing you, stalking you, scaring you, violating the
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  restraining order, whatever I do, if it works, you take me
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  back. And then of course I'm going to
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  do it again. That's just the mindset of
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  y'all. It is a very toxic, manipulative
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  mindset. I 100% agree.
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  I I, I, I agree with you. It is a very toxic mindset to
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  have. I promise you this.
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  But a lot of narcissists, the people, when they feel
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  abandoned, they get activated and they just lose their damn
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  minds even. And the crazy, yeah, and the
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  crazy thing about this is they could actually leave you.
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  For someone else, be married to someone else.
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  Be in a committed relationship to someone else.
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  And if you find somebody else, they feel like you abandoned
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  them. And how crazy is that?
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  Y'all. How, first of all, how
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  delusional and unfair is that? But how crazy is that?
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  Even if you get into a new relationship, they feel like you
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  did them wrong. You were supposed to be single
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  until I got out. Until you.
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  You were supposed to stay single and lonely until I decided what
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  I wanted to do. So you didn't give me a chance.
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  You didn't give me an opportunity to make it up to
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  you. You see how you see how ignorant
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  that sounds? You didn't give me an
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  opportunity to break it with her and see how it works.
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  You didn't give me a chance. You see what I'm saying?
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  You see. You see exactly what I'm saying.
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  That's the mindset. That's the dynamic.
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  That's the space that we are in right now.
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  Y'all. Then you can move on to someone
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  else, and rightfully so, and that person will feel like you
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  abandon them for someone else. How toxic and manipulative is
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  that? In that mindset right there?
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  That's controlling, That's ownership.
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  That's that's literally losing. That's a narcissist person
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  losing their damn mind. And they all that stuff I said
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  earlier by becoming obsessive, they'll stalk you, they'll
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  harass you, they'll pop up with your job, They'll threaten to
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  take the kid, take threaten to take custody for the kids from
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  you. Just because you moved on and
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  they feel like you're abandoning, abandoning, abandon,
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  abandoning them. It's a tongue twister.
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  How does that a tongue twister abandoning them?
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  You see what I'm saying? Abandoning them.
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  Got to say it right? Unique New York Red leather.
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  Yellow leather. That's the space that a lot of
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  us are in right there. Y'all, It's a narcissistic
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  person. Yeah.
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  When they get activated, they feel like abandoned.
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  You cue you trigger some type of childhood trauma within them.
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  And this is not me trying to tell you not to move on.
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  Y'all move on. Just be safe about it.
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  Just be safe because be cautious.
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  Arm yourself. I don't know where you are, but
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  arm yourself. Protect your peace.
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  Because that narcissistic person doesn't care about protecting
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  their protecting your peace. They don't care about how they
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  feel and how you know how. They only care about how they
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  feel. And how they, you know how they
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  are being held up. They don't.
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  They only care about that. Y'all.
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  I'm trying to reiterate that to a lot of people, that
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  narcissistic person only cares about how this benefits them so
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  you can abandon them when they have already discarded you.
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  It is ridiculous. And this is me speaking for
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  personal experience. Like I moved on to somebody else
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  and damn, you got somebody else. Wow, I'm not the stalk.
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  I'm not the stalk. Re obsessive person.
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  That's not me. But I've seen that happen.
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  Y'all. I've actually seen it happen.
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  So my friend, like, what the hell are you doing, dude, man,
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  she moved on, man. Like, bro, you you married, you
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  had a whole what? What are you talking about?
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  What is the mind? Yeah, I'm just telling you, some
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  narcissists that people do this and they just try to make your
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  life harder. If you if they feel like you
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  abandoned them, they will absolutely try to make your life
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  harder. They will try to, Yeah, they
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  will try to make your life at every instance and every
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  possibility they can. Like you have to deal with them
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  because the kids. They will intentionally try to
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  make your life harder because they feel like you abandoned
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  them and you activated that look.
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  You activated that abandonment trigger.
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  In their mindset, they will keep consistently doing it to you.
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  Y'all. It happens so much, so many
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  times in relationship spaces and toxic relationship dynamics.
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  Y'all. And I hate to see it so much
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  that it happens, but I'm telling you, if you go back to it, it
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  will get worse. Because now if you if I feel
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  like you abandoning me, right, you activate that abandonment
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  stuff in my head. And somehow, some way, shape or
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  form, I get you back in my life. I get you.
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  I get. I convince you to come back to
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  me in my mind. You can leave again.
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  You left before. So in my mind.
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  I automatically think you're going to do it again.
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  So now I'm going to make it harder for you to leave.
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  Now I might marry you. Now I might have a kid with you.
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  Now let's start a business together.
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  Now let's buy a house together. Now let's, you know, let's,
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  let's buy a car together. Let's do something.
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  Let's do something together. They make it harder for you to
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  leave. It seems genuine.
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  It seems like they love you, but it's making it harder for you to
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  leave. They're going to try to secure
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  that you can't abandon them, abandon in quotation mark, Show
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  they're trying to make sure that you can't abandon them again.
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  Or you. It's going to be at least, at
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  least it's going to be harder. At least you're going to suffer
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  through it. You're going to, if I have to
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  suffer through the feeling of abandonment.
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  If I have to be activated, then so are you.
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  I'm going to. If I have to be activated, then
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  I'm going to activate you. You see how toxic and
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  manipulative and how dumb that sounds.
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  I'm just telling you that's the mindset of a lot of narcissistic
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  people. That's the mindset.
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  That's the dynamic. That's what you face.
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  Because when you abandon that narcissistic person, they're
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  going to come. Some of them will absolutely
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  come at you. You mean they're going to come
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  at you. They're going to do something to
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  say something. They're going to make your life
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  harder. They're going to make your new
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  relationships harder. Not just with the kids.
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  They're going to make your new relationship overall harder to
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  deal with. They're going to be just harder
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  to deal with just overall. You mean, just be careful.
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  Y'all just be safe because that person gets activated.
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  You'll know they'll be begging, pleading crime.
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  They might get angry and rage out on you.
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  Like I said, they might try to harm you, but protect yourself
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  and protect your peace. Y'all you have to.
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  Because if you don't, they're going to, they're going to ruin
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  your life and they don't care about wasting your time because.
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  Narcissistic person does not feel like they're wasting time
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  with you because they're getting what they want from you.
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  You might be feeling like you're wasting time with them because
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  you're not getting your needs. Mate.
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  You see what I'm saying? Anyways, y'all let me get this
• 11:20
  episode to the finish. Some short line.
• 11:21
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• 11:24
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