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Joy As A Strategy · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way in Your Way?
0:31
Cassandra: And for those new listeners out there, that actually is the title of my book, Is Your Way in Your Way.
0:37
Cassandra: So I'm like, why not use the same title for my podcast?
0:42
Cassandra: And also let me kind of share with you what it's all about.
0:46
Cassandra: These are for what I call purpose-driven women who feel emotionally stuck, exhausted, disconnected from your purpose.
0:58
Cassandra: Um, and and we like to talk about topics like self-improvement, about women empowerment.
1:05
Cassandra: And through these podcasts, they're like transformational self-discovery that anchors you in real talk.
1:12
Cassandra: I call it real talk, real conversation, faith and purpose that's aligned so that you will begin to live be what else let me try to try that again from living behind your self-imposed barriers that's preventing you from living your best life on purpose.
1:33
Cassandra: And because I indicated that we talk about self-improvement, women empowerment, our topic today is your way is in your way until you reclaim joy as a strategy.
1:45
Cassandra: Check this out, joy.
1:47
Cassandra: So let me ask you a question.
1:48
Cassandra: What if the key to your breakthrough wasn't working harder, but reclaiming your joy?
1:54
Cassandra: So I say, welcome back, you guys, to Is Your Way in Your Way, where we will unpack the mindsets and behaviors that keep women stuck.
2:05
Cassandra: So today's exercise is not just about burnout, it's about rebirth.
2:10
Cassandra: So I'm joined by Nicole Van Valen, a powerhouse strategist and the founder of Keen Insights, who helps high-performing leaders do the unthinkable, slow down, realign, and lead from a place of strength and survival.
2:27
Cassandra: So if you've been wondering why success still feels heavy, or why you leading others is dreaming, is draining the life out of you.
2:36
Cassandra: This episode will flip your script.
2:39
Cassandra: So, but maybe, just maybe your way is in your way until you reclaim joy as your strategy.
2:46
Cassandra: So, guys, let's dive in and I'm going to introduce you to Nicole Van Valen.
2:53
Cassandra: Hi, Nicole.
2:55
Cassandra: Hello, thank you for having me, Cassandra.
2:57
Cassandra: This is wonderful.
2:58
Cassandra: I am so glad that you are my guest today.
3:02
Cassandra: I want to I can't wait to hear about this joy and because I I have a question.
3:06
Cassandra: What's the difference between joy and and um and happiness?
3:11
Cassandra: But before I start asking you those questions, I want to read your bio so that the listeners will understand what qualifies you to do the things that you do.
3:21
Cassandra: Now, as we indicated, now Nicole is a joyful leader.
3:27
Cassandra: She's a resilient strategist, workplace culture transformer, and the dynamic force behind Keen Insights.
3:35
Cassandra: Check that out.
3:35
Cassandra: With 25 plus years of experience across healthcare, behavioral health, and even professional sports.
3:43
Cassandra: Nicole fuses mental health expertise with leadership strategies to help organizations turn burnout into breakthrough.
3:52
Cassandra: She is a licensed therapist, a senior certified professional, and a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader and a Miami, my Miami heat dancer.
4:05
Cassandra: She brings contagious energy to everyone, whether coaching a C-suite team or speaking from the stage.
4:13
Cassandra: Nicole's mantra is simple but powerful.
4:16
Cassandra: Resilience is a mindset and joy is the strategy.
4:21
Cassandra: She's also the author of The Joyful Leader and Trusted Advisor to mission-driven organizations ready to boost engagement, cut turnover, and build high-performing, psychologically safe cultures.
4:36
Cassandra: Whether you're leading a team or leading your life, Nicole helps you do it with joy.
4:41
Cassandra: Wow, that's powerful.
4:43
Cassandra: I can't wait to get into this.
4:44
Cassandra: Hey, let me ask you though, what was life like before you became the founder and CEO of Keen Insight?
4:53
Cassandra: Like, what's your backstory?
4:55
Cassandra: What was going on back then?
4:57
Nicole: Before all this, before all of this, I went I went to school, grad school for psychology.
5:06
Nicole: You know, so when I when I was growing up, I'm from the Caribbean, from the Bahamas.
5:10
Nicole: Everyone's either a doctor or a lawyer.
5:12
Nicole: So don't like blood.
5:13
Nicole: So I said, okay, I'll be a lawyer.
5:15
Nicole: Okay.
5:16
Nicole: I went to school pre-law.
5:18
Nicole: Um decided that I didn't really want to spend all my time in the courtroom and arguing.
5:23
Nicole: So I decided to fall back on psychology.
5:26
Nicole: That was my major psychology and philosophy.
5:28
Nicole: Uh, and then I did a lot of work in the mental health field.
5:32
Nicole: One of the one of the roles I had was at Women in Distress, helping women and um children that were witnessing domestic violence or going through it or are part of dating violence.
5:46
Nicole: And in that role, I was a training specialist.
5:49
Nicole: So I was able to go out in the community, train doctors, nurses, lawyers for their continuing education unit credits on domestic violence.
5:59
Nicole: And that's when I got bit by the bug of loving to give presentations and positively impacting others and my nerd side of myself educating.
6:09
Nicole: So I got bit by that bug.
6:12
Nicole: Um, so I was doing that, and then eventually I opened my own private practice when I moved out to California, and I was, you know, giving family therapy from ages, I would just say zero to elderly, just anyone that needed any assistance.
6:28
Nicole: I did that for a little bit, and I did all kinds of things in mental health.
6:34
Nicole: Eventually, I went into the corporate world.
6:36
Nicole: I worked for an insurance company, helping people that had mental health concerns and getting them back to work.
6:45
Nicole: So I did that type of work within corporate and decided, you know, I and I was always giving presentations off the side of my desk.
6:52
Nicole: I always raised my hand to volunteer to give presentations and then decided that um, you know what, I want to do this all the time.
6:59
Nicole: So I moved over to learning and performance, whereas training nurses and mental health professionals on a new system, which I find hilarious because I'm always trying to catch up on technology, but I enjoyed the interacting with other human beings and helping them along.
7:19
Nicole: So that was fun.
7:19
Nicole: So one of the things I would do is no one wanted to be with me for a week from nine to five, learning how to use a new system.
7:26
Nicole: So I would tell dad jokes during those trainings, lighten the mood, get some laughter, bring in some joy along the way.
7:36
Nicole: And when I got on the business side of things, I moved from learning and performance to the business side for an EAP program within the organization.
7:45
Nicole: And um I would work with cross-functional teams in the C-suite, high-level executives, and I would still bring in the dad jokes, but I would make sure it tied into the business that we had to discuss at hand.
8:00
Nicole: And that lightened the mood as well, and we could brainstorm a little bit more.
8:05
Nicole: So I've weaved in this thread throughout my career of joy, of laughter, of connection, and making something greater than it was when we we began together.
8:18
Cassandra: Okay.
8:19
Nicole: So I did all of that type of work in corporate America.
8:22
Nicole: My last role before building my own business was helping small businesses do business with large organizations.
8:29
Nicole: And that's where I was able to tap into um coaching and mentoring executives.
8:36
Cassandra: Okay.
8:37
Nicole: Helping them, um, some of them helping them learn how to delegate, learn how to have empathy in working with their employees, learning how to hire, learning how to connect and pitch to large companies.
8:50
Nicole: So I did a lot of that type of work as well.
8:53
Nicole: And and then I would also give presentations at conferences.
8:58
Nicole: I love that.
9:00
Nicole: So I did one at a woman's conference, a panel.
9:03
Nicole: I was on a panel.
9:04
Nicole: Okay.
9:05
Nicole: Walked off the stage.
9:06
Nicole: There was a line of women who were touched by what we talked about.
9:11
Nicole: We were talking about mental well-being.
9:13
Nicole: Yeah.
9:14
Nicole: Women executives that had their own.
9:16
Nicole: That feeling of making a positive impact, only being on stage for an hour with other experts, completely lit me up.
9:26
Nicole: And I said, I want to do this all the time, not just once a week.
9:29
Nicole: Absolutely.
9:30
Nicole: I am going to start my own business.
9:33
Nicole: I am going to open keep insights and I am going to get out there and talk about resilience and talk about it from joy because everyone talks about it like grit.
9:44
Nicole: You have to be hard, have a traumatic life, be miserable and push through everything.
9:51
Nicole: I'm like, well, where's the joy in this?
9:52
Nicole: Like, why, if I want to move from A to Z, why does it have to be so miserable all the time?
9:59
Nicole: Right.
9:59
Nicole: Exactly.
10:00
Nicole: Where I came up with um Keen Insights, because it's this is a place where people can come and get information and knowledge and where they can be transformed and take that out, that K, that knowledge.
10:16
Nicole: And the eye for insights is like that individual human being can take that information and take it out into the world and impact others, or that organization, or that team can do it and carry it on.
10:30
Nicole: So that's kind of that's a long one, long-winded answer to your question about this.
10:37
Cassandra: Yeah, you've done, you've done a lot.
10:39
Cassandra: Now, let me ask you this joy.
10:42
Cassandra: Um, you know, a lot of my listeners may heard this story, and they may say, Well, she's kind of always had it going on.
10:53
Cassandra: Like she didn't, she didn't really go through a lot.
10:56
Cassandra: And, you know, what's what I mean, this joy, where did where did all that come from?
11:01
Cassandra: Um, because you know, at times in our life, many of us, all of us, are in our way.
11:08
Cassandra: So what happened?
11:10
Cassandra: Like, what where did this joy and this energy come from?
11:15
Cassandra: I know a lot of it comes from what you're doing because you love what you do.
11:18
Cassandra: But in the beginning, you know, your story sounds like a storybook.
11:23
Cassandra: Like, this is great.
11:24
Cassandra: What I mean, tell us something that because what we want to do is help people get out of their way, you know, because you know, they have these self-imposed barriers that just prevent them from moving forward.
11:36
Cassandra: Like you knew, okay, you did the psychology, the mental health, and all of that.
11:42
Cassandra: But how did you um I understand how you figured out your sweet spot, but prior to that, tell them I don't want you, I don't want no sad story or anything.
11:54
Cassandra: What did you have to overcome to get where you are today?
11:59
Cassandra: What happened?
12:01
Nicole: You want to know what happened?
12:02
Nicole: Let me tell you what happened.
12:04
Nicole: Okay.
12:04
Nicole: I I would say I'm um a recovering workaholic and recovering perfectionist and recovering people pleaser.
12:17
Nicole: Okay.
12:18
Nicole: That combination in a in certain corporate environments where it could be very toxic heavy.
12:26
Nicole: And I'm walking into that thinking, my manager is gonna help lift me up and help me advance my career, and I can climb up the corporate ladder.
12:36
Nicole: Yeah, my team members are gonna be like family and we're gonna wrap around each other, we're gonna strategize, and we are going to uplift our team and our organization and impact the community.
12:47
Nicole: Like we're in this together.
12:49
Nicole: However, I was faced with a lot faced a lot of times in various toxic environments where I just kept pushing and pushing and pushing and hitting a wall.
13:04
Nicole: Okay.
13:05
Nicole: In an in an environment that wasn't healthy for me.
13:10
Cassandra: Okay.
13:11
Nicole: And a lot of times I was getting in my own way because I was wanting other people to change.
13:19
Nicole: I was wanting other people to think and behave differently.
13:23
Nicole: Um, and I had to come to this aha moment of it's not their responsibility.
13:31
Nicole: Like to be resilient is my own responsibility.
13:34
Nicole: And how am I going to do that?
13:36
Nicole: Am I going to remain in this environment and change who I am?
13:41
Nicole: Remain in this environment and change how I operate, remain in the environment and change the way that I think.
13:47
Nicole: Or am I going to get out of the environment and go and plant myself in soil that is where I can grow and thrive, where I am valued, where I can be nurtured, where I can look at my actual self and who I am and the value that I bring.
14:07
Nicole: And people want that.
14:09
Nicole: So to me, it took me going through years and years, because I would think, okay, I'm coming into this organization, I'm taking on this role.
14:19
Nicole: Oh, this manager is not so nice.
14:22
Nicole: I don't know what's going on in their world, but I'm not feeling good here.
14:25
Nicole: Right.
14:25
Nicole: It's that manager's fault.
14:27
Nicole: I am going to move over to this organ, this um team.
14:31
Cassandra: Okay.
14:32
Nicole: And at first it's great because I'm the fresh eyes, I'm challenging the status quo.
14:37
Nicole: I want to make things better, and that's what I get brought on for.
14:40
Nicole: And then there's some, then there's, but some people don't like so much change, and maybe not at the pace that I'm going at for that change, because I'm a futurist.
14:51
Nicole: So I'm I'm looking out there and I'm like, okay, beeline there.
14:54
Nicole: So with that, I was um faced with a lot of challenges.
15:01
Cassandra: Okay.
15:02
Nicole: And um, and it was difficult for me to face that, knowing that this is what I was brought in for, and then trying to navigate and understand the politics and all of that.
15:15
Nicole: So I could say for one of my roles, I would have to go to my husband and say, This is what's happening.
15:22
Nicole: What actual language should I use to communicate what I'm trying to say?
15:27
Nicole: Because, like I told you, I'm from a Caribbean background, Bahamas.
15:31
Nicole: It's got a British um culture to it, and the way we speak, the way we write, the way we think.
15:38
Nicole: So my husband's American.
15:40
Nicole: So he would look at, I'm like, this is the email I'm gonna send.
15:43
Nicole: Can you look at this?
15:45
Nicole: And is this politically correct?
15:46
Nicole: And be like, well, you know, you're given that such and such, that could come off um negative.
15:53
Nicole: I'm like, but this is how I speak.
15:55
Cassandra: Uh-huh.
15:55
Nicole: So it was all me trying to fit in to various cultures has was difficult.
16:02
Nicole: Um and then uh yeah, so I would think being in those toxic environments and trying to make positive change has been um a difficulty.
16:36
Nicole: And at the same time, maintaining my level of energy, maintaining my internal joy despite what's going on around me.
16:45
Nicole: And that's what helped me create this ready-set go model that I formulated that I use so that other people can use it whenever there's a change or a challenge.
16:55
Cassandra: Yeah, and I asked that question because, like I indicated earlier, uh, listeners, before we even came on, that we had a lot of similarities.
17:05
Cassandra: I was a workaholic, and I still am.
17:08
Cassandra: I'm I'm I'm working towards it, a perfectionist.
17:12
Cassandra: Everything had to be correct, and it would take me a long time to do things because I it wasn't perfect.
17:19
Cassandra: And yet I wanted to please people.
17:22
Cassandra: And I'm certain many of those characteristics that you have, listeners, how do you get from there to where Nicole is?
17:30
Cassandra: And that's why I wanted her to share because people, yeah, you know, she, you know, I hear people say, Yeah, she was born with a silver spoon and blah, blah, blah, blah.
17:40
Cassandra: But no, not necessarily.
17:42
Cassandra: She found out what it was that she wanted to do.
17:47
Cassandra: So, yeah, she probably had a whole lot of limiting beliefs, a lot of she was stuck, you know, she needed a resource.
17:54
Cassandra: She asked her husband.
17:55
Cassandra: So I just don't want anybody to think that the things and the success that we say we had was we had because we had to overcome, we had to get out of our way, and it wasn't easy.
18:10
Cassandra: And also working with the mental health, and it sounds like you worked in that capacity when mental health was taboo.
18:18
Cassandra: We don't talk about mental health because oh my god, something's wrong with them, they can't be in that environment.
18:26
Cassandra: Um, did you while you were dealing with that and working with individuals like that, was it a common denominator while people were dealing with mental struggles?
18:36
Cassandra: Like what was going on?
18:38
Nicole: A lot of it is a lot of it when people are have come to me, it's someone else saying they need to have therapy.
18:48
Nicole: Okay, and and or or they may have identified that something's going on that's difficult for them and they seek it out.
18:57
Nicole: A lot of times it would be through um EAP, employee assistance program, where they come in for coaching because there's a disruption going on in the workplace, or they have to lay people off and they're having a difficult time, or they just got laid off and they're having so it's some type of change, some type of challenge that they feel is outside of their control.
19:23
Nicole: And many of the discussions is about okay, a lot of things have happened that you couldn't control.
19:30
Nicole: Let's start to identify some of the things that you can control.
19:33
Nicole: And out of those things, where do we want to focus on that could have the biggest impact for you to to kind of skyrocket you out of where you are to where you want to go?
19:44
Nicole: And then we can we can track that and have some milestones along the way.
19:50
Nicole: Um, so I think that when you break things down like that, it doesn't seem so overwhelming.
19:57
Nicole: Okay, you're standing now and and where you want to go.
20:03
Cassandra: Okay, okay, because you are the secret weapon I hear against burnout, disengagement, and work workplace chaos.
20:12
Cassandra: So you are the the resilience coach, and I think that is on that, I think that's great.
20:19
Cassandra: And you know, and a lot of us that that work and you know, and trying to climb the ladder or whatever we're trying to do, we struggle with that.
20:29
Cassandra: So it was great that you were in that capacity to help individuals get through that.
20:34
Cassandra: And I say that for my listeners because perhaps, you know, as as Nicole said, a lot of people came to her because someone suggested that they needed a coach.
20:47
Cassandra: And that's okay.
20:49
Cassandra: You know, don't be ashamed of that.
20:51
Cassandra: Be uh don't be unapologetic about that.
20:53
Cassandra: If that's gonna help you support you and get to from point A to point B, then that's what that's what you have to do.
21:01
Cassandra: Now, I want to talk about um, because what you what I'm hearing is like resilience is a mindset, you know.
21:09
Cassandra: Um and it is, but you said joy is the strategy behind that.
21:17
Cassandra: Explain what that means.
21:21
Nicole: Okay, let me I'll give you a story.
21:23
Nicole: So while I was trying to climb this corporate ladder, right?
21:27
Nicole: Ups and downs of that, looking back, I realized what my resilience resource was during that time, and that was dance.
21:36
Nicole: So you mentioned before that I used to be a cheerleader and a dancer professionally.
21:41
Nicole: So in doing that in the sports area, I was doing that while I was climbing the corporate ladder.
21:47
Nicole: Okay, so that wasn't my whole work, my my work environment was not my whole entire world.
21:55
Nicole: I had another world going on alongside it.
21:58
Nicole: And looking back, that was my res my that was my joy, dance and cheer.
22:04
Nicole: So I was able to tap into something that lit me up outside of a toxic work environment.
22:12
Nicole: That was my release.
22:14
Nicole: So I was like, huh, this is interesting.
22:16
Nicole: Now that I'm older, you know, I'm not dancing everywhere, I'll dance in the room, dance around about I started to ask myself, okay, so what are things that I really enjoy doing?
22:29
Nicole: Drinking a nice cup of hot chai tea.
22:33
Nicole: I love just having that quiet time for 10-15 minutes, going out in the back and and planting my roses and smelling them and my fruit tree.
22:42
Nicole: So they're different things that doesn't mean you have to do something extravagant and travel the world.
22:47
Nicole: There are simple things you can do that will bring you some sense of joy, and everyone's joy is different, right?
22:54
Nicole: Because during COVID, when that came down, you know, from my mental health background, I'm like, okay, we need to have a plan and a schedule, and we're gonna do yoga at 7 a.m.
23:03
Nicole: And we did that, and then everybody's like, I don't like yoga, and I'm not a morning person.
23:08
Nicole: I didn't like it.
23:09
Nicole: After a while, nobody liked it.
23:11
Nicole: So we all figured out, okay, what are our things?
23:13
Nicole: I was walking my dog around the block with a mask on, my husband was playing board games, the boys are playing video games with their friends.
23:19
Nicole: My daughter, you know, ordered art stuff from Amazon and she started doing art.
23:24
Cassandra: Uh-huh.
23:25
Nicole: We all did different things, but when we came together, we were re-energized.
23:29
Nicole: So we have movie night and re-energize.
23:32
Nicole: So it's individual things that you like to do that light you up, that ignites you, re-energizes you, and then it equips you to go and make an impact in your culture, at your house, at work, whatever, wherever you're communing with other people, and then you can go and deliver on whatever goals that you have set for yourself.
23:53
Nicole: So there's another way that's different than the grit and grind that we think of with resilience, because that grit and grind actually adds more burnout and sleepless nights.
24:05
Nicole: So, how can we refresh ourselves, be joyful, and get things done?
24:12
Cassandra: Yes, I love that.
24:14
Cassandra: I love that because when I think about my workaholic self back in the day, I didn't do anything that I enjoyed.
24:23
Cassandra: I just worked.
24:24
Cassandra: I just worked and I worked and I got burnt out, I got overwhelmed.
24:28
Cassandra: And then also, many, my many of my listeners are aware I was always the first African-American female in my roles.
24:36
Cassandra: So I felt that I have to prove to them at that point back in that day that I am qualified to do this job.
24:43
Cassandra: And I never got an opportunity to sit down and think about well, what do I enjoy?
24:47
Cassandra: But I love what you said for you, my listeners.
24:51
Cassandra: Think about what is it that you enjoy doing.
24:54
Cassandra: Work is not everything.
24:56
Cassandra: I mean, uh, hey, speaking to the choir, work is not everything, which that's all I ever did.
25:03
Cassandra: So I love that that strategy.
25:06
Cassandra: Um, uh, and though, and so that was probably one of the ways that you supported your clients in alleviating stress, is to find out from them what else is it in their life that they enjoy doing.
25:19
Cassandra: And like you said, everybody's different.
25:22
Nicole: Everyone's different, and sometimes people don't know what they like.
25:25
Nicole: So don't be don't be surprised if you can't think of something that you enjoy.
25:30
Nicole: So, this is where I crafted this joy menu that I utilize with people.
25:37
Nicole: It's a process to help them actually think about what brings them joy, writing it down.
25:43
Nicole: So when you're in the midst of a change or a challenge and it's so difficult, sometimes our brain is not functioning.
25:50
Nicole: We can't think clearly when that happens.
25:52
Nicole: You can just look at that joy menu, point, you can close your eyes and point, and whatever you point to, pick that thing and you put that in your schedule.
26:01
Nicole: You write it down in your schedule and give yourself time.
26:05
Nicole: That's part of your self-care, not selfish, walk off time to focus on that.
26:12
Nicole: And if you still are having a difficult time, I just tell people to give yourself three seconds to breathe.
26:20
Nicole: Okay, and I teach them actually how to deep breathe, and that re-energizes you.
26:25
Nicole: You could be in a stressful meeting, don't close your eyes, but but go through that.
26:30
Nicole: You could go through actually the deep breathing exercise right in front of someone, okay, they don't have to know, and you will re-center yourself.
26:39
Nicole: I like to give that example of like, you know, the snow globe, it's shaking all around, the snow's chaotically all around you, but that figure in the snow globe, it stays fixed, it stays centered, it stays who they actually are, and that snow settles down and they're still standing.
27:00
Cassandra: Yeah.
27:00
Nicole: So it's okay, you can figure out what is that thing, what is that piece of joy, or what's going to be on your joy menu menu that you need that will help you stay standing.
27:12
Cassandra: Wow.
27:12
Cassandra: Yeah, I like that the joy menu.
27:15
Cassandra: So is that part of the three stages along with your resilience journey, like the framework?
27:22
Nicole: Yeah, so the framework, it's a ready, set, go framework.
27:25
Nicole: So get ready.
27:27
Nicole: This is where you discover yourself.
27:30
Nicole: So you discover this is when you pull yourself out of the chaos and you go rediscover yourself.
27:35
Nicole: You figure out, you go do something you enjoy, something off of your joy menu.
27:39
Nicole: Okay, to get you re-energized.
27:42
Nicole: So that's step one.
27:43
Nicole: Step two is to get set.
27:45
Nicole: This is where you design your landscape, you design your culture, you design how you want to operate in your re-energize self, in the workplace, or in your home environment, or whichever environment you're in where the change occurred.
28:03
Nicole: Now you're back renewed.
28:05
Nicole: You can think clear.
28:07
Nicole: Now you can be at a place to work with other people, listen and hear what they have to say, the give and back.
28:15
Nicole: You can brainstorm.
28:16
Nicole: There's so many things that can be created when you're designing the landscape based on who you are re-energized, not who you are burnt out and stressed out.
28:27
Cassandra: Okay.
28:27
Cassandra: Okay.
28:27
Nicole: And then the third step is you go.
28:30
Nicole: This is where you uh deliver on your goals.
28:35
Nicole: You are aligned with your goals.
28:38
Nicole: So you're aligned with who you're re-energized self, you're aligned with your landscape and the culture and what you've designed for yourself, and you go forward in that and delivering on your goals.
28:48
Nicole: So that's the ready set go model.
28:51
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
28:52
Cassandra: Wow, great.
28:53
Cassandra: Um, let's talk about, and you know, I have a lot of discussion about even in my book, I talked about joy versus happiness.
29:06
Cassandra: And for me, I'd rather have joy than be happy.
29:11
Cassandra: Is there a difference to you from joy versus being happy?
29:16
Nicole: Oh, I talk about that in my book also.
29:18
Nicole: See, more similarity.
29:20
Nicole: So okay.
29:21
Nicole: Yeah, in my book called The Joyful Leader.
29:24
Nicole: Uh-huh.
29:25
Nicole: And in the in the beginning of the book, I go over what what it means, all the different emotions that we go through in our in our evolution and transformation and in our experiences and living in this world.
29:42
Nicole: So the cover has a phoenix on it.
29:45
Nicole: And the phoenix's feathers have all the colors of a rainbow.
29:50
Nicole: That's my logo.
29:51
Nicole: No way.
29:52
Nicole: Isn't that amazing?
29:54
Nicole: Oh my gosh.
29:55
Nicole: Okay, so the the it goes, I'll just tell you about the the meanings of the colors really quickly.
30:00
Nicole: Absolutely.
30:01
Nicole: So and this is a and this has a spiritual meaning as well.
30:04
Nicole: So red is like that rage that people could feel.
30:09
Nicole: Then it goes to orange, which is anger that we can feel based on experiences, and then we go into the yellow, and that's the happiness.
30:17
Nicole: So that's when you know you you experience something and it makes you elevated, or you experience something and it makes you sad or depressed.
30:28
Nicole: So it's that fluctuating mood based on what's happening outside of you, and you're how you respond to something that goes on.
30:37
Nicole: So that's that's the happiness.
30:39
Cassandra: Okay.
30:40
Nicole: And then it goes to green, which is the joy.
30:43
Cassandra: Uh huh.
30:43
Nicole: This is the joy that you have inside, kind of.
30:46
Nicole: Like the snow globe, it stays there within you.
30:49
Nicole: And this is something that needs to be nurtured to make sure that it's it stays there.
30:54
Nicole: So that's why we need to re-energize ourselves to make sure that we're staying in alignment of who we actually are.
31:01
Nicole: And that's where that joy is.
31:03
Nicole: It's a it's a source within.
31:05
Nicole: So that's it.
31:07
Nicole: So it doesn't matter where you what's going on outside of you.
31:10
Nicole: It can affect you, but you know, you will have the tools that you need to remain in joy regardless of what's going on, because it's internal.
31:19
Nicole: Um, and then you can go with the next color is blue, which we call bliss.
31:25
Nicole: So this is beyond joy that you would feel.
31:29
Nicole: So this is something that's more um, I would say kind of like a spiritual, um, it's not con it's not so much related to what's going on in front of you, but it's elevating from the inside, from the joy to bliss.
31:45
Nicole: And then there's purple, which is beyond bliss, and then it goes into black, and that's like the cover of my book is black, and that goes out into like the universe and God and um unconditional love.
32:00
Nicole: So we're all made, we all go through various experiences when you tap into the level of joy, you're making a conscious decision to remain there, and then as you grow in your spiritual self, as you you grow up and rise above the ashes of the changes and challenges that are going on in your life, you can choose where you want to reside, yeah, in the way that you think and in your actions and how you speak with others, your whole entire being, you have that capacity to choose how you want to walk in life.
32:43
Cassandra: Wow, that's powerful.
32:45
Cassandra: So that's why, and how you reclaim joy as a strategy.
32:50
Cassandra: And uh, what a great analogy when you talked about the Phoenix, and they would have to get your book because um, you know, because how how much information do we retain?
33:04
Cassandra: And I think it's power in the colors, like you talked about the red, um, but it's is rage, right?
33:12
Cassandra: Um, the the orange is which is anger.
33:16
Cassandra: Is that what you said?
33:17
Cassandra: Yeah, interesting, and that's my favorite color, so I need to watch myself, and it's you know, and I always I'm looking at your orange.
33:27
Nicole: Your orange is more like looks like it's going into the orange of like the flames of a of a fire, so it's like transitioning.
33:34
Nicole: I see exactly good comeback.
33:37
Cassandra: I like that.
33:37
Cassandra: That's right.
33:38
Cassandra: The yellow, the green, the blue, the the um, the purple, and the um what's what the oh the black, the black, which is the universe.
33:48
Cassandra: I like that, listeners, and that's why you have to keep listening to this podcast because it will help you remember, and you have a picture, and it's good to have something, a picture or something, and go over the colors of the feathers, so to speak, and also um, I I'd also rather have joy, and that's the internal because for me, happiness is a happening.
34:16
Cassandra: Like I was happy the day I got married, you know, that's a happening, you know.
34:21
Cassandra: But what do you do to keep that joy inside?
34:23
Cassandra: So I love that how um your way is in your way until you reclaim uh joy as a strategy.
34:32
Cassandra: Wow.
34:34
Nicole: Yeah, it's amazing, and I want to reference something you said before because on the outside, we could look like we all have it together, right?
34:42
Nicole: Yeah, like I could look at someone.
34:44
Nicole: There was a CFO at a retreat that I gave, and she just on the outside looked like she had it all together.
34:52
Nicole: She came up to me privately and was asking me, or letting me know she hadn't felt joy in months, and so much was going on in her home life, or her team was disengaged, and she couldn't even think about one thing that brought her joy.
35:07
Cassandra: Wow.
35:08
Nicole: So I was thinking, oh my goodness.
35:10
Nicole: And as I thought about her situation, that happens to me a lot too.
35:16
Nicole: I was just actually at a um, I volunteered to do this open mic night, right?
35:23
Nicole: And tell a story.
35:25
Cassandra: Yeah.
35:25
Nicole: I was like, why did I do this?
35:27
Nicole: But a friend of mine said, you know, volunteer for things, do everything.
35:30
Nicole: So I said, okay, and I did it and I got picked for it.
35:33
Nicole: So I I prepared and I and I did it, and I was telling someone how nervous I am.
35:38
Nicole: Please come support me and all of that.
35:41
Nicole: So I did it.
35:42
Nicole: Afterwards, she came up to me and she said, I thought you were nervous.
35:46
Nicole: That was great.
35:46
Nicole: And I go, I was still very nervous.
35:49
Nicole: She goes, but you made it seem like what you're doing.
35:52
Nicole: I go, I feel like I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing.
35:55
Nicole: I just I put myself out there.
35:58
Nicole: I'm so glad that I did.
36:00
Nicole: So I'm gonna take my friend um as advice and to volunteer for things.
36:06
Nicole: I did it again the other day.
36:07
Nicole: I volunteered to have um my website looked at, you know, critiqued.
36:12
Cassandra: Uh-huh.
36:13
Nicole: You know, I mean my perfectionist side was like, it's not ready.
36:16
Nicole: And right, and he was like, I get to have three experts look at my website, right?
36:22
Nicole: And give me feedback.
36:24
Nicole: And after the feedback, my you know, my response was, oh, it wasn't as bad as I thought.
36:30
Nicole: And then I quote my website designer, I'm like, we need to meet.
36:35
Cassandra: I know, isn't that amazing?
36:37
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:38
Cassandra: It reminds me of uh something I think my mom used to say to me, never judge a book by its cover.
36:46
Cassandra: I'm like, really?
36:48
Cassandra: You know, so you're right, you can look all of this from the outside, and that's why I I put right here for social media and how addictive that is, and how everybody looks just phenomenal, but you don't have a clue what they are really going through.
37:09
Cassandra: So I always say, be you be you, be you.
37:15
Cassandra: Wow, what you tell some great stories.
37:19
Cassandra: Um thank you.
37:20
Cassandra: Yeah, um, I just I want to highlight something that you do that I I admire.
37:26
Cassandra: Um, you like you have a cause, like 10%, you commit 10% of your profits to charitable, charitable causes.
37:37
Cassandra: Why do you do that?
37:38
Cassandra: And what what was it about the uh impoverished children and other things you do that resonated with you?
37:47
Cassandra: And I know you talked about in the beginning, you know, how you worked with individuals.
37:52
Cassandra: So what was that?
37:55
Nicole: Well, there's a there's an organization called Eku Kenyani Relief Project, uh-huh, and they help the impoverished children in South Africa.
38:04
Nicole: So I'm also a spiritual healer and teacher, and we had the opportunity to go there and give healings and and be with the kids in the crushes there.
38:15
Nicole: So they live in Tin Shacks.
38:17
Nicole: Um, the founder, Lisa Rossi, she built schools uh for the children.
38:25
Nicole: They're able to now help other women, the teachers, build their own businesses there.
38:29
Nicole: They helped them grow their own food at the school so they have food and be and can take that food home and they're nourished.
38:37
Nicole: So I had the opportunity to go there and be and dance with the kids and just love them.
38:44
Nicole: And it was the most, other than having um my daughter, my children, my daughter who I birthed, um that was the most memorable, most enjoyable and beyond experience in my entire life.
38:58
Nicole: So, especially with the proceeds from, you know, percentage of proceeds from my book goes to helping the children at the Eco Kanini Relief Project because I hold them so dear to my heart.
39:09
Nicole: Actually, um, Lisa Rossi is one of the experts on philanthropy in my book.
39:15
Nicole: She worked with Nelson Mendel Mandela um when he was doing his work there.
39:21
Nicole: So she brings a lot of wisdom into the book as well.
39:24
Nicole: Um, I am the mental health initiative chair for Kennedy Kids Foundation, and they help suicidal youth.
39:32
Nicole: So the founder of that organization, um their daughter died by suicide several years ago, and they started this foundation and they needed to add in some more mental health elements to it.
39:46
Cassandra: Yeah.
39:46
Nicole: And so now this is a cause that's really dear to my heart as well.
39:50
Nicole: Um, and I just rolled off of a board called um experience camp for grieving children, grieving kids.
39:59
Nicole: And so they give a free camp every summer to kids, so they raise money for the kids to go to camp.
40:04
Nicole: So it's like camp that we did when we were younger 90% camp, 10% um mental health, and it's really impacting the kids.
40:14
Nicole: So I guess children are dear to my heart in helping.
40:18
Nicole: And um, if there's anything I could do to help kids, I'm all I'm all about that.
40:23
Nicole: And other than the that philanthropy work, some of the other things we like to do with the family is, and my mom started this tradition, is we keep goodies in the car.
40:33
Nicole: So granola bars, water, snacks, and things like that.
40:36
Nicole: If we see someone on the side of the road that needs something, we give, you know, we give them this food.
40:43
Nicole: And I'll tell you about my daughter when she was younger.
40:45
Nicole: She we were driving in my parents' neighborhood and she saw someone with a backpack.
40:50
Nicole: She's like, mommy, pull over.
40:51
Nicole: I want to give him a snack.
40:52
Nicole: I go, honey, that's a student walking home from school, but that's so kind of you.
40:57
Nicole: Yeah.
40:57
Nicole: No, he might want a snack.
40:59
Nicole: We could ask him.
41:00
Nicole: Uh-huh.
41:02
Nicole: We love we, I think um, it's in my DNA to to help and serve others.
41:08
Nicole: It's and now I'm doing it intentionally, making sure I preserve my energy and giving to others in a proper way who want to receive.
41:17
Cassandra: Yeah, that's good.
41:18
Cassandra: I think that's great.
41:19
Cassandra: And I wanted you to bring that out because you know, you you talked about the joy and finding joy and things you like to do, you're actually giving back.
41:30
Cassandra: And when you do all of those things, like you're doing, you get your your mind off of self because you're giving and you're pouring out to others.
41:42
Cassandra: But when we see focused on that's okay, my listeners know about my dog too.
41:50
Cassandra: That's all right.
41:51
Cassandra: He's like, okay, mommy, it's time to hang up.
41:54
Cassandra: Yeah, and so I I appreciate I wanted you to bring that up so individuals will know, you know, you know, once you define, and that's my thing, is living your best life on your terms, and define for yourself, and that's what I do in my my my rise journey program, is to define what is it um personally and professionally, what will it take for you to start living your best life on your terms?
42:24
Cassandra: And I just think that's wonderful, and I and just listening to you, it sounds like you're there because I always ask my my clients and people I run into on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, where would you rate yourself and living your best life on your terms?
42:41
Cassandra: And the answers I get are amazing.
42:44
Cassandra: The people with the uh look at me like, what?
42:48
Cassandra: You know, and don't even know.
42:50
Cassandra: So they're really so I love it because it's clear on what it is that you're loving what you're doing, you're clear on what you want to give to, why you're giving back.
43:00
Cassandra: So it's not all about you, it's all about, it's also about others.
43:05
Cassandra: So definitely.
43:07
Nicole: And that's one of the things I talk about in my book, too, is how powerful volunteering is.
43:11
Nicole: That's how I was able to climb corporate ladder was through volunteering.
43:15
Nicole: That's and that's how I'm able to build my career, you know, as an entrepreneur is by giving back as well.
43:23
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah.
43:24
Cassandra: Well, Nicole, this has been wonderful.
43:27
Cassandra: I um for my my listeners who are stuck and trying to get out of their way, and it and a lot of them don't even know they're in their way.
43:39
Cassandra: And I'm just hopeful that the things that you shared that they realize that you know what?
43:45
Cassandra: I am in my way.
43:46
Cassandra: I overwork, I got everything has to be right.
43:49
Cassandra: I'm so worried about what other people think, or I'm in a toxic environment.
43:53
Cassandra: And like you said, being in that, you were like, you made a decision.
43:56
Cassandra: This is really not what I want to do.
43:57
Cassandra: This is really not where I want to be.
43:59
Cassandra: And you activated it, you executed it.
44:02
Cassandra: And that's the thing you have to take action.
44:04
Cassandra: So, is there anything that you like to share with my listeners before we wrap up about them being in their way?
44:12
Nicole: Yes, I would like for them to ask themselves if they are just powering through or just things, or are they actually performing in their lives with a sense of purpose?
44:24
Nicole: And when they answer that question for themselves, then they're no longer feeling like they're just surviving.
44:31
Nicole: They're gonna feel like they're thriving in what they need to do and look at themselves and see where they need to put in some more joy into their life.
44:41
Nicole: Um, one of the tools, a helpful tool that I like to give away complimentary, is this sphere of resilience assessment.
44:50
Nicole: So they can find it on my website, they can take the assessment and it'll let you know what areas you're doing amazing with in resilience, and then some other areas of opportunity that you may want to pay a little bit more attention to, and then they can come back to your podcast and listen to episodes that will help them in those areas, or they can go to my book and dive deep into those areas to uplift them.
45:15
Nicole: So there's if you're feeling stuck, there is a way out.
45:20
Nicole: Yeah, and there's resources around you.
45:23
Cassandra: Absolutely.
45:23
Cassandra: So, how can my listeners get in touch with you and and find your website?
45:27
Cassandra: What's your website?
45:29
Nicole: Yes, so my website is keeninsights.com.
45:32
Nicole: So www k e a n e I n s-i-g-h t s dot com.
45:41
Nicole: If you want to contact me, you can just go to that same email, I mean same link and do slash contact, and you can reach out to me and let me know how it can be helpful.
45:52
Nicole: I'll give you my email.
45:53
Nicole: You can email me.
45:54
Nicole: I'd love to hear from you after you hear this episode and let us know what you think at Nicole at Keeninsights.com.
46:01
Nicole: You can email me there.
46:02
Nicole: So I would say those on oh, and you can connect with me on LinkedIn, Nicole Van Galen.
46:07
Nicole: Yeah, I put a lot of great content out there, and I'd love to connect and and just get to know you guys a little bit more.
46:15
Cassandra: Yeah, you do have great content.
46:17
Cassandra: Well, Nicole, thank you so much for being my guest.
46:21
Cassandra: Uh, it was an honor for me.
46:23
Cassandra: And as I told my listeners, you definitely have heard some things that resonated with you, but I bet it will resonate with some of the people that you know.
46:32
Cassandra: So I I ask you to take action and share.
46:37
Cassandra: Okay, share it with individuals so that you can be a blessing to them.
46:43
Cassandra: And as I always say, Nicole, to my guests, I always say, bye for now.
46:48
Cassandra: God bless you and I love you.
46:52
Cassandra: And again, Nicole, thank you so much.
46:55
Cassandra: You were Jewel.