Latest / Constellations and all that... / 28. Healing Through the Lineage: Identity, Belonging & Family Constellations with Moana Emett

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28. Healing Through the Lineage: Identity, Belonging & Family Constellations with Moana Emett · Constellations and all that...

• 0:00
  Tracy Cartwright: And welcome to Constellations and all that.
• 0:03
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm your host, Tracy Cartwright, and together we will be exploring the world of family constellations with facilitators for and clients from around the world, looking at different perspectives and experiences in the work, having a cup of tea, and just chatting with some friends around their experiences in constellations.
• 0:23
  Tracy Cartwright: We'd love for you to join us.
• 0:25
  Tracy Cartwright: I hope that you enjoy this series as much as I have loved making it.
• 0:33
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 0:33
  Tracy Cartwright: Morning everyone.
• 0:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Welcome to Constellations and all that.
• 0:36
  Tracy Cartwright: Today I have the pleasure of talking to my dear friend, Moana Emmett.
• 0:41
  Tracy Cartwright: So I'm gonna hand over to you, Moana.
• 0:43
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm excited 'cause I know we've already just been chatting and things are already, there's so much juiciness in our conversation.
• 0:50
  Tracy Cartwright: So I'm gonna hand over to you to share a little bit about yourself and whatever it is that's there for you.
• 0:57
  Moana Emett: Kia Tracy.
• 0:58
  Moana Emett: Oh, thank you for that.
• 0:59
  Moana Emett: And thank you for inviting me, um, onto your podcast series, which I, by the way, am absolutely loving.
• 1:05
  Moana Emett: Just meeting all these other beautiful people from, um, around, um, the world and, um, and then meeting some of them in, in person, um, just very recently at the, um.
• 1:18
  Moana Emett: Intensive and ua.
• 1:20
  Moana Emett: So, um, co YO mm, well I'll start with, um, my name is Moana Emmett and I am the daughter of Maria, Lorraine Brown.
• 1:33
  Moana Emett: And my first name is actually Maria Moana.
• 1:37
  Moana Emett: So my mum and dad are actually staying just down the road at the moment, um, visiting, and I'm really grateful for them.
• 1:44
  Moana Emett: They're still, um.
• 1:46
  Moana Emett: Well and truly alive and doing amazing things and living a very full life.
• 1:50
  Moana Emett: So I am really grateful for them.
• 1:52
  Moana Emett: I have three siblings, um, an older brother and two younger sisters.
• 1:57
  Moana Emett: And I am, um, my grandparents are, my mom's side come from Scotland, um, and also from England.
• 2:07
  Moana Emett: And on my dad's side, they come from here in al New Zealand.
• 2:12
  Moana Emett: And my iwi, uh, tii and so I just want to acknowledge my ancestors there.
• 2:20
  Moana Emett: Um, on my.
• 2:22
  Moana Emett: Um, dad's side as well.
• 2:23
  Moana Emett: We have my beautiful, great-great-grandmother is also from England and it's a line that I'm still doing some work within, but she was the last Pakeha, um, or European woman to be abducted by Maori, um, in the, uh, 18 hundreds.
• 2:43
  Moana Emett: And so there's some history there that has come through our line, um, as well.
• 2:49
  Moana Emett: I am the mom of Josh and I also have three children in spirit.
• 2:56
  Moana Emett: I am the proud grandmother of my beautiful Ali Fe, and I'm also a stepmom of Sophie and Kate.
• 3:06
  Moana Emett: Um, which leads me to my beautiful husband, John.
• 3:09
  Moana Emett: We just celebrated our.
• 3:11
  Moana Emett: Six wedding adv anniversary, but we've been together for 16 years.
• 3:16
  Moana Emett: He's my life partner and I'm just really grateful for him.
• 3:19
  Moana Emett: Yeah, so lots of acknowledgements.
• 3:22
  Moana Emett: Um, yeah, wha papa's really important for me and I think that's why I was attracted to this beautiful work in the space of family constellations.
• 3:35
  Moana Emett: What else would you like to know, trace?
• 3:38
  Tracy Cartwright: It's interesting'cause I've, I've heard you share that.
• 3:41
  Tracy Cartwright: We've had interactions with the story with your great-grandmother, the one that was, um, abducted.
• 3:46
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm. And for, to some reason for today, that feels quite prominent.
• 3:50
  Tracy Cartwright: I don't know why.
• 3:52
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm. But it's like, maybe, can we talk into that a little bit more if you feel comfortable just for those who are not in New Zealand and don't know about some of the history, or maybe there even, there are some New Zealanders who don't know this history as well.
• 4:07
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah,
• 4:07
  Moana Emett: sure.
• 4:08
  Moana Emett: So, um, her name was Caroline Pert, and I'm still finding out more information about her parents and that line.
• 4:19
  Moana Emett: So the story of Caroline Pert has been passed on, and so she was my grandmother's grandmother.
• 4:27
  Moana Emett: And her story is that, um, her and her family lived in, um, Taranaki, south Taranaki, no, north Taranaki, sorry.
• 4:39
  Moana Emett: And her father was a land surveyor and he was asked to do some surveying for the government.
• 4:46
  Moana Emett: At that time, there were a lot of the land wars that were going on, um, down around the Taranaki way.
• 4:54
  Moana Emett: Her father was warned not to do not to do the surveying.
• 4:58
  Moana Emett: Um, he was surveying on what we call an dupa or a cemetery where the locals, um, local Maori tribes were buried, but he still did.
• 5:08
  Moana Emett: And at that time they were surveying for roads to go through and the railway to go through.
• 5:13
  Moana Emett: Um, so you know, it was a really interesting time in history.
• 5:16
  Moana Emett: So that happened.
• 5:19
  Moana Emett: And not long after that, um, Caroline was apparently playing out in the field and a band of Maori mainly men from my awareness.
• 5:29
  Moana Emett: Um, and her story is that they were just coming through from, they were just a band of men, um, who were landless and who were fighting alongside other tribes at that time.
• 5:43
  Moana Emett: And they.
• 5:44
  Moana Emett: Took her and they took her up to the Kyra area, which was a long way, a long way where she was, but especially at that time when, when they didn't have any transport and they probably would've walked there.
• 5:56
  Moana Emett: Um, yep.
• 5:57
  Moana Emett: She was only about seven.
• 5:59
  Moana Emett: Wow.
• 6:01
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 6:01
  Moana Emett: Seven or eight.
• 6:02
  Moana Emett: And she doesn't remember a lot of that time, you know, often when there's trauma.
• 6:07
  Moana Emett: Um, the child forgets a lot of things and she was integrated into this group and they ended up being gum diggers in the Kyra.
• 6:17
  Moana Emett: Um, and they kept her very close to her and they her like their own.
• 6:24
  Moana Emett: And she ended up learning the Maori language and being.
• 6:30
  Moana Emett: Fluent in that she met my grandfather at my great-great-grandfather as a young woman.
• 6:36
  Moana Emett: So she would've maybe only been in her 16, 17, and she married him and they had a child, um, who is my grandmother's mother, naia.
• 6:47
  Moana Emett: And after they had that child, he died of consumption.
• 6:51
  Moana Emett: So he was left, uh, she was left, sorry, with her marker.
• 6:55
  Moana Emett: The consumption
• 6:56
  Tracy Cartwright: is.
• 6:56
  Tracy Cartwright: For those who dunno, consumption is tuberculosis.
• 6:59
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, but that's what they called it back in those days, wasn't it?
• 7:01
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 7:02
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 7:02
  Tracy Cartwright: Tuberculosis.
• 7:03
  Moana Emett: And so, uh, she ended up giving the child to his mother to raise.
• 7:11
  Moana Emett: And so, um, Natalia was raised by her grandmother and.
• 7:18
  Moana Emett: I don't know much about Natalia, um, her life other than she went on to marry herself and have a lot of children of which one of them was my grandmother?
• 7:32
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 7:32
  Moana Emett: Um, Caroline Pert ended up, um, marrying another man and um, his surname is Nono and he was from Whakatane, so she ended up in, on the East Cape or Eastern Bay of Plenty in Whakatane and.
• 7:48
  Moana Emett: It wasn't until she was much older, um, I think in her late fifties or early sixties, um, that she was sitting, um, on a chair outside or on a bench outside the local, um, post office, and a woman approached her.
• 8:06
  Moana Emett: Started speaking to her in English.
• 8:08
  Moana Emett: This woman recognized her because she looked very similar to her own mother.
• 8:13
  Moana Emett: And she asked her some questions about, do you know who, what's your name?
• 8:18
  Moana Emett: Um, and of course she didn't say Caroline Barrett, and she was called Queenie for short.
• 8:25
  Moana Emett: Um, and so.
• 8:27
  Moana Emett: Uh, she'd had a scar she'd, um, fallen onto a poker, um, as a young child, um, by the fireplace, and she had the scar on the back of her neck, and that's how they ended up identifying her.
• 8:38
  Moana Emett: And this woman said, do you have a scar?
• 8:40
  Moana Emett: And the family hadn't given up.
• 8:42
  Moana Emett: Wow.
• 8:43
  Moana Emett: Her, her mother.
• 8:44
  Moana Emett: They, her mother died not long after her.
• 8:47
  Moana Emett: They, they say that her mother died of, um, heartbreak.
• 8:50
  Moana Emett: And back in those days, you know, men and a woman didn't tend to live long lives.
• 8:56
  Moana Emett: Um, but she had siblings and yeah, so she was found and because she was found, uh, they did an article on her in the local newspaper and they expected that she'd want to go back and rejoin her.
• 9:10
  Moana Emett: Family and she said, well, no, this is my family now.
• 9:13
  Moana Emett: And 'cause she'd gone on to get, get married, remarried, and um, and she had a whole, she had lots more children of her own and this was her family.
• 9:22
  Moana Emett: But it was interesting because those energies.
• 9:25
  Moana Emett: Have played out.
• 9:27
  Moana Emett: There's some, you know, as I've done this beautiful family constellation work and investigating what's been showing up in my own life and my own patterns now, it's interesting.
• 9:37
  Moana Emett: Natalia was brought up by her grandmother, my grandmother, uh, because she, there was so many children.
• 9:44
  Moana Emett: She was brought up by her grandmother's sister.
• 9:50
  Moana Emett: Nanny Ruth, and so she was brought up and far eyed out when my father was born.
• 9:56
  Moana Emett: My father is one of 13 children, and so my grandmother had already had two children.
• 10:02
  Moana Emett: Um, and those two children were actually given to her grandmother who'd brought to her auntie who had brought her up, and then she married my grandfather.
• 10:11
  Moana Emett: So those two children were two.
• 10:13
  Moana Emett: Another man, um, they're my father's half siblings, and then she had 11 of her, 11 more children with my grandfather.
• 10:20
  Moana Emett: And so my grand, my father was given to his grandparents.
• 10:24
  Moana Emett: To help and look after.
• 10:26
  Moana Emett: Um, they were really poor.
• 10:28
  Moana Emett: There was hardly any money at that time, but there was a lot of love.
• 10:32
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 10:32
  Moana Emett: And, um, and so my grandfather, uh, so my father spent the first, um, sort of five years of his life with these, with his grandparents.
• 10:41
  Moana Emett: Um, and he knew his siblings as well and he then was.
• 10:45
  Moana Emett: I lived with his mom and his dad and all of his, all the other siblings that came along.
• 10:52
  Moana Emett: Yes.
• 10:52
  Moana Emett: And then, um, I had my son and I ended up, um, just my circumstances living at home with my mom and dad and my dad, mom and dad helping me to raise my son as well.
• 11:04
  Moana Emett: So when I look at patterns and you know what's happening, I see some of those themes playing out.
• 11:11
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 11:12
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it, when you can start to see the patterns flowing through.
• 11:17
  Moana Emett: Yes.
• 11:18
  Moana Emett: I've been living in the Bay of Plantee.
• 11:20
  Moana Emett: Um, I grew up in Auckland, um, but moved to the Bay of Plantee all 20 something years ago.
• 11:29
  Moana Emett: A i I moved about 23, 24 years ago, and then when I met my husband.
• 11:34
  Moana Emett: We decided to get married.
• 11:36
  Moana Emett: We got married up here in, so I live not far from Tracy and, um, in, in Northland, New Zealand.
• 11:45
  Moana Emett: And, um, and my great-grandmother, my, my grandmother's mother, um, Natalia, she actually grew up in t and Waka.
• 11:53
  Moana Emett: Which is not far from where I live now.
• 11:56
  Moana Emett: So, and I feel very connected into my Pau family who live up here.
• 12:02
  Moana Emett: So, you know that once again, those, those roots.
• 12:05
  Moana Emett: So
• 12:06
  Tracy Cartwright: the threads, eh, the threads, the
• 12:08
  Moana Emett: thread, the threads that pull you in.
• 12:10
  Moana Emett: Yes.
• 12:11
  Moana Emett: Yeah, just absolutely amazing.
• 12:13
  Moana Emett: And I feel very connected now.
• 12:16
  Moana Emett: You know, it's, it's been hard living here.
• 12:18
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 12:19
  Moana Emett: Because, because of, um, what's happened on the land here, but so grateful to be living here because, so, um, a lot of things have happened here that have really changed my life.
• 12:31
  Moana Emett: Um, and one of them being, um, meeting you, Tracy.
• 12:35
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm. Beautiful.
• 12:36
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you.
• 12:38
  Tracy Cartwright: It's been, yeah.
• 12:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you.
• 12:39
  Tracy Cartwright: We've had a lovely journey together, haven't we?
• 12:41
  Tracy Cartwright: We've only known each other for three years maybe, and, and a lot has happened in that time already.
• 12:48
  Moana Emett: A lot has happened in that time.
• 12:49
  Moana Emett: I met you at the Maki Yoga event.
• 12:52
  Tracy Cartwright: Oh
• 12:53
  Moana Emett: yeah.
• 12:54
  Moana Emett: Yes, that's
• 12:54
  Tracy Cartwright: right.
• 12:54
  Tracy Cartwright: Yes, that's
• 12:54
  Moana Emett: right.
• 12:55
  Moana Emett: And, um, our, our friend Cameron, took UA introduced me to you and said, oh look, there's Tracy.
• 13:01
  Moana Emett: I said, Tracy can't write because we, we've been Facebook friends for, for actually probably a couple of years.
• 13:08
  Moana Emett: And I knew a lot about you and I knew that you did family constellation work, but I'd actually never met you in person.
• 13:14
  Moana Emett: And That's right.
• 13:14
  Moana Emett: And I remember saying.
• 13:15
  Moana Emett: You, oh, well, you know, what are you up to?
• 13:17
  Moana Emett: What are you, what are you doing?
• 13:18
  Moana Emett: And you said, Hmm, I've actually got a workshop on tomorrow here, um, at the yoga center.
• 13:23
  Moana Emett: Would you like to come?
• 13:24
  Moana Emett: And that's how, yeah, that's quite, I came, that's how I first connected in with Family Constellation work.
• 13:31
  Moana Emett: And I just knew that I needed to be there.
• 13:35
  Moana Emett: And, and really some from that day forward, um, some deep healing started to occur for me.
• 13:44
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 13:45
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 13:46
  Tracy Cartwright: Beautiful.
• 13:47
  Tracy Cartwright: It calls you, I believe this week calls you, you know.
• 13:51
  Tracy Cartwright: Well, it's soul work, isn't it?
• 13:52
  Tracy Cartwright: And if your soul's asking for it.
• 13:54
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 13:55
  Tracy Cartwright: Um, sometimes you don't realize your soul's asking for it and it finds you and calls you anyway.
• 14:00
  Moana Emett: That's right.
• 14:02
  Moana Emett: Knock.
• 14:03
  Moana Emett: I wanna,
• 14:03
  Tracy Cartwright: I wanna come back to something that you said just before for, and this is just for clarity for our listeners that aren't in New Zealand, what does mean?
• 14:12
  Tracy Cartwright: I know what it means, but I'm just clarity on the, um, listeners and the viewers that aren't based in
• 14:19
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 14:20
  Moana Emett: So means to somebody else is going to take care of you.
• 14:27
  Moana Emett: They're going to look after you.
• 14:28
  Moana Emett: They're going to raise you and bring you up, which is a little bit different from adoption.
• 14:37
  Moana Emett: Being farai, um, is very common in our Maori culture, and often children may have been.
• 14:46
  Moana Emett: Given to, uh, a couple who may not have been able to have children on their of their own, or more likely it was, there's just so many children Yeah.
• 14:56
  Moana Emett: That other family members will step forward to take care of that child.
• 15:01
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 15:01
  Moana Emett: Um, or the, or the mother may have, um, died in childbirth.
• 15:06
  Moana Emett: And also very common for, um, at least one child to be given to the grandparents to look after and as a tga, um, which is a Maori word for, as a gift, as a very precious gift, um, as a treasure for the wellbeing of the family.
• 15:28
  Moana Emett: Yeah, it's interesting.
• 15:30
  Moana Emett: And that's how my father wa my father was a TGA to his grandparents.
• 15:35
  Moana Emett: And they called him pet.
• 15:36
  Moana Emett: They were.
• 15:37
  Moana Emett: He was their pet.
• 15:39
  Moana Emett: And interestingly today, that nickname has stayed with him his whole life and he is 80 now, and his siblings all call him pet and.
• 15:50
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 15:51
  Moana Emett: And he is known right around his, his whole family.
• 15:54
  Moana Emett: Um, my dad comes from a very big extended family as pet, and my nickname's bub, and so I've been known as Bub, um, or my nieces and nephew call me Auntie Bub.
• 16:06
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 16:06
  Moana Emett: Or Auntie B. Auntie Bubby.
• 16:08
  Moana Emett: And my cousins all call me Bub.
• 16:10
  Moana Emett: So if someone's calling me more Anna.
• 16:14
  Moana Emett: Often.
• 16:14
  Moana Emett: I know.
• 16:15
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 16:16
  Moana Emett: That's my only name.
• 16:17
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 16:17
  Moana Emett: And if they call me Maria, I know that they don't know me at all and I've either done something wrong or I'm about to get into trouble or I'm at university or something.
• 16:30
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 16:31
  Moana Emett: But yeah.
• 16:34
  Moana Emett: Is to feed To Nourish.
• 16:37
  Tracy Cartwright: To nourish, yeah.
• 16:38
  Moana Emett: To care for.
• 16:41
  Moana Emett: And of course, you know, not all wangai children end up in the best place.
• 16:47
  Moana Emett: Um, and not all of their experiences within their Wangai family are positive, just like any other family.
• 16:56
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, just like adoption too, right?
• 16:57
  Tracy Cartwright: Just
• 16:57
  Moana Emett: like adoption as well.
• 16:59
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 16:59
  Moana Emett: And often, you know, they want to, they want to reconnect to their own parents.
• 17:06
  Tracy Cartwright: Gonna pull the case in, look like.
• 17:08
  Tracy Cartwright: Oh, there you go.
• 17:09
  Tracy Cartwright: I'll put my hand up.
• 17:10
  Tracy Cartwright: Clouds are coming in here.
• 17:12
  Tracy Cartwright: The sun's beaming through the clouds on my tropical island for those who can see me.
• 17:17
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm, I'm practicing on the tropical island, getting ready for, um, my trip to Lombok, but also, um, an acknowledgement of Moana.
• 17:26
  Tracy Cartwright: So
• 17:28
  Moana Emett: thank you.
• 17:29
  Moana Emett: And for those of you, Moana means the ocean and it's a Pacific name.
• 17:34
  Moana Emett: Um, and some of you may have seen the movies.
• 17:36
  Moana Emett: Moana one and Moana two has come off.
• 17:39
  Moana Emett: I have a real strong connection to the ocean.
• 17:42
  Moana Emett: Um, and I live right beside the ocean.
• 17:45
  Moana Emett: And I just feel so good when I'm in the ocean.
• 17:48
  Moana Emett: Um, and I
• 17:49
  Tracy Cartwright: love that when you let your hair down, it is just so curly.
• 17:54
  Tracy Cartwright: Like the Moana on the movie, like I'm sure people hear your name's Moana.
• 18:00
  Tracy Cartwright: They're like,
• 18:00
  Moana Emett: what?
• 18:03
  Moana Emett: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:04
  Moana Emett: Especially if I've got my hair out, they nod and then we belt out One of the songs, you know, the songs.
• 18:12
  Moana Emett: Exactly.
• 18:13
  Moana Emett: I'm just having some of your beautiful caca.
• 18:15
  Moana Emett: Oh yeah.
• 18:15
  Moana Emett: I'm just having too.
• 18:16
  Moana Emett: It so
• 18:17
  Tracy Cartwright: good.
• 18:18
  Moana Emett: Mm.
• 18:18
  Moana Emett: I've got batch 88, so I'm not sure what was in batch 88, but it's been a goodie.
• 18:25
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 18:27
  Tracy Cartwright: Do you want me to tell you like I just happened to have it handy on my phone?
• 18:30
  Tracy Cartwright: Yes.
• 18:30
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you.
• 18:31
  Tracy Cartwright: 'cause I was looking up just uh, bear with me guys.
• 18:35
  Tracy Cartwright: 'cause I was looking up my own.
• 18:37
  Tracy Cartwright: 'cause I've just had batch 91.
• 18:40
  Tracy Cartwright: Say 88 Sacred Union.
• 18:44
  Tracy Cartwright: Well, this is good for you and John Masculine feminine awaits you now.
• 18:49
  Tracy Cartwright: So yes, yes to the My Gifts of Psychic Development.
• 18:52
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm grounded and at peace within my family.
• 18:55
  Tracy Cartwright: A heart awakening soul meditations, freely releasing old blocks and patterns of positive vibrations and unconditional love.
• 19:04
  Tracy Cartwright: Supporting one's body.
• 19:05
  Tracy Cartwright: Body, the inner faith through the darkness.
• 19:08
  Tracy Cartwright: The wise sage let go of control, surrender, and fully you are knowing that you are fully supported by life.
• 19:17
  Moana Emett: Wow, that's amazing.
• 19:20
  Moana Emett: Infusion.
• 19:22
  Moana Emett: I say yes to that.
• 19:24
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 19:25
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 19:25
  Tracy Cartwright: Mine's about, um, trusting the intuition.
• 19:29
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm. Um, and trusting the guiding, like listening to what arises within, taking full responsibility for life and actions and moving forward with, uh, with confidence supporting my nervous system and purification of the kidneys.
• 19:45
  Tracy Cartwright: Which is all so perfect for, um, some medical assistance that I am stepping into shortly.
• 19:51
  Tracy Cartwright: So Constellations has really, and CAO have supported me in that, in, in my decision to go ahead.
• 19:58
  Tracy Cartwright: I've always been one who've fought the system medically through experiences in my life that haven't been pleasant.
• 20:05
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm.
• 20:06
  Tracy Cartwright: And, uh, like a cow and constellation, since you're really supporting me to do, to do that.
• 20:12
  Tracy Cartwright: Say yes to myself and, and set and set the intention and have a really positive experience.
• 20:19
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 20:20
  Moana Emett: Well, I'm so pleased that you, you've mentioned that you know that the space, the space of allowing modern technologies to assist us and, and to also be in.
• 20:36
  Moana Emett: A space where you're willing to be assisted, you know, where the frequency of being willing to heal, um, is just paramount this morning.
• 20:46
  Moana Emett: Um, and I've been thinking about my own healing and one of the things that I thought, well, now what, what, what might I share with, um, the listeners that's been, that's really become right.
• 21:01
  Moana Emett: Upfront for me, um, you know, when you, when something comes in, tries to give you information and it's so clear and I was, uh, in a workshop with.
• 21:14
  Moana Emett: The wonderful John Whittington.
• 21:15
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
• 21:16
  Moana Emett: I, I did one of his two day workshops recently, and we Yeah.
• 21:22
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 21:23
  Moana Emett: And we looked at safety, so we were looking at the space of, you know, um, it's was a coaching constellation workshop.
• 21:30
  Moana Emett: So, you know, I was, um, growing my coaching skills.
• 21:34
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 21:35
  Moana Emett: And, um, and looking at.
• 21:38
  Moana Emett: Um, setting up in the environment for the client to feel safe in first and foremost, and also for me to be safe in, um, as the facilitator or the coach.
• 21:49
  Moana Emett: And, um, he put a physical safety rope around me and I was sitting in the middle.
• 21:56
  Moana Emett: I was being the client and for the first time in this lifetime.
• 22:02
  Moana Emett: I felt safe and I had no idea that this is how feeling safe actually feels.
• 22:14
  Moana Emett: So, you know, the power of this work.
• 22:17
  Moana Emett: So, you know, we were already in the knowing field, and so for me to be sitting in this space and for the space of feeling, you know, this, this actual physical representation, the somatic effect of me and my body was just indescribable.
• 22:37
  Moana Emett: And life changing.
• 22:39
  Moana Emett: And so I went, oh wow.
• 22:43
  Moana Emett: And this is amazing.
• 22:44
  Moana Emett: And how many people go throughout their life not knowing this feeling Like many people, you know, I've been affected by life and, um, all of its intricacies, the good, the bad.
• 22:58
  Moana Emett: The ugly, the F and have experienced, um, a lot of trauma in my life from a very young age and not been aware of that.
• 23:09
  Moana Emett: So, you know, you're not even aware of that safety, that safety part.
• 23:15
  Moana Emett: Um, but since then, what I've also came to be aware of as, um, I'm doing this work and is that.
• 23:25
  Moana Emett: Now that I feel safe enough to trust a whole lot of other processes and trust myself to explore some areas that I just could not look at before.
• 23:37
  Moana Emett: And I used to make myself wrong for, um, it's just like, oh, yeah, I don't look at that.
• 23:43
  Moana Emett: That's too hard.
• 23:43
  Moana Emett: Or I just, I wouldn't even acknowledge that, you know, that would, that was, it was just too hard.
• 23:48
  Moana Emett: But actually, no, it was just not safe.
• 23:50
  Moana Emett: And we know that from a very young age, we do all sorts of things to keep ourselves safe.
• 23:55
  Moana Emett: Um, but we are doing it from the space of being a child, um, or even pre-verbal.
• 24:01
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 24:01
  Tracy Cartwright: And like you say, we don't even know.
• 24:03
  Tracy Cartwright: Right.
• 24:04
  Tracy Cartwright: We don't know that we, that we're not fully feeling that because we've never felt it.
• 24:08
  Tracy Cartwright: So it's like we don't know what we don't know.
• 24:10
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 24:11
  Tracy Cartwright: And then to have that experience of feeling it, it's like, yeah, holy fake knuckles.
• 24:17
  Tracy Cartwright: Like this is what it's really like.
• 24:18
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 24:19
  Tracy Cartwright: Right.
• 24:20
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 24:21
  Moana Emett: And and I, and I wanna look back too, 'cause as we are speaking, Tracy, and I'm so pleased that you brought up about my great-great-grandmother, Caroline Pert.
• 24:29
  Moana Emett: 'cause now I'm seeing in the field, wow.
• 24:35
  Moana Emett: She was not safe.
• 24:38
  Moana Emett: So I wonder for her to even to have been taken in the first place, what had happened within her family system.
• 24:47
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 24:48
  Moana Emett: And so was she already, was that energetically already in the space?
• 24:53
  Moana Emett: So, and then the not feeling safe every day with people that she didn't know who then came to be, you know, I know they were her captors, they became her family.
• 25:05
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 25:05
  Moana Emett: So you know, the dynamic for that.
• 25:09
  Moana Emett: And then of course to, um, have know, to have your, to have that loss of your first husband, um, to have a child, to have to, the loss of that child, woman didn't really have a lot of choices.
• 25:25
  Moana Emett: I'm seeing this particularly woman in her
• 25:27
  Tracy Cartwright: position
• 25:28
  Moana Emett: Right.
• 25:29
  Moana Emett: As well.
• 25:30
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 25:30
  Moana Emett: So I, I've, I, now I'm looking at it even from a wider systemic, per perspective of, wow, has this just, um, freed her.
• 25:39
  Moana Emett: And I say that because I did a, a piece of work a couple of weeks ago, um, where actually that's what came forward.
• 25:46
  Moana Emett: And she, she came forward and it was suggested to me by, uh, my facilitator at the time, I think it was actually Barry Cross, who you interviewed not so long ago.
• 25:56
  Moana Emett: Suggested that that's a relationship that I could actually spend some time with.
• 26:00
  Moana Emett: And so I'm intending on doing that, that she's spending time with Caroline.
• 26:05
  Moana Emett: Part of that honoring of my ancestor and acknowledging her and how brave and courageous she must have been.
• 26:12
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 26:12
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 26:13
  Moana Emett: And because of her, I am here today.
• 26:15
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 26:18
  Tracy Cartwright: Amazing.
• 26:19
  Tracy Cartwright: And if any of those situations hadn't happened, right?
• 26:22
  Tracy Cartwright: If she hadn't been kidnapped, abducted.
• 26:26
  Tracy Cartwright: And had that experience, you, you wouldn't be here because she would've never have been with her first husband and had your That's right.
• 26:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Great, great grandmother.
• 26:36
  Tracy Cartwright: So all of those things that lead us to who we are today, it's amazing.
• 26:40
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:41
  Tracy Cartwright: It's amazing.
• 26:43
  Tracy Cartwright: So we haven't even touched on what you do, 'cause I know you do work.
• 26:51
  Tracy Cartwright: Um, well, that's the simplified version of it.
• 26:54
  Tracy Cartwright: Can you share what it is that you do?
• 26:55
  Tracy Cartwright: 'cause you touched so many lives with the work that you do.
• 26:59
  Moana Emett: You don't know where a pathway's going to lead you.
• 27:02
  Moana Emett: And I just know that when I'm in alignment, when I listen to my heart, get outta my head
• 27:08
  Tracy Cartwright: mm-hmm.
• 27:09
  Tracy Cartwright: But
• 27:09
  Moana Emett: actually listen to my heart.
• 27:12
  Moana Emett: There's a resonance there.
• 27:13
  Moana Emett: Um, interesting.
• 27:14
  Moana Emett: I noticed that everything comes really quickly.
• 27:17
  Moana Emett: There's no barriers.
• 27:18
  Moana Emett: The support comes in really quickly.
• 27:20
  Moana Emett: So in my early twenties, I trained to be a teacher.
• 27:25
  Moana Emett: Um, and health and physical education teacher, um, is, is where I started my journey and that felt very resonant with me.
• 27:33
  Moana Emett: I loved doing physical activity and I was very good at sport and, and I really wanted to teach children how to have an appreciation of their body and how to do amazing cool things with their bodies.
• 27:48
  Moana Emett: And just being around young people is.
• 27:52
  Moana Emett: Joyful, you know, the, the, the generat of their energy.
• 27:57
  Moana Emett: And I ended up teaching, of course, teenagers, uh, and the, I'm gonna say they're the hardest.
• 28:04
  Moana Emett: I was gonna say that.
• 28:05
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 28:05
  Moana Emett: Um,
• 28:06
  Tracy Cartwright: there's a lot going on
• 28:08
  Moana Emett: there, but most, there's a lot going on there.
• 28:11
  Moana Emett: But having, having, you know, experienced my own struggles as a teenager mm-hmm.
• 28:17
  Moana Emett: Is, I mean, oh, you know, if I was their, their age, again, these are all the things that I'd wanna know.
• 28:23
  Moana Emett: And so, you know, I've always been a very honest teacher.
• 28:27
  Moana Emett: Um, and also very honoring around, um, caring for our bodies and, um, teaching the full breadth of the health curriculum.
• 28:36
  Moana Emett: Including body care and, um, sexuality education and relationship education.
• 28:42
  Moana Emett: And part of my journey, uh, as when I moved into working in, um, in leadership within, um, secondary schools is I, I was, um, I got to meet this amazing woman.
• 28:54
  Moana Emett: Her name is Margaret Borne and she's become a very dear friend of mine, and she does, she trained, um, people in restorative practices.
• 29:03
  Moana Emett: And I did her three day training, and it changed the trajectory of my life in education.
• 29:11
  Moana Emett: That training made it really aware to me that there are so many young people and adults too, who are looking for opportunities for restoration and reconciliation of things.
• 29:26
  Moana Emett: When things go wrong, and it also made it really clear to me that how do young people end up in.
• 29:34
  Moana Emett: Um, spaces and places where there's pain and trauma, where they're either causing harm to others and usually they're harming themselves as well.
• 29:44
  Moana Emett: And how do we address that in a relational way, in an honoring way.
• 29:49
  Moana Emett: And so this body of work emerged and all I'd say that I've ran after it, it's like it emerged and I was positioned into places where.
• 30:00
  Moana Emett: I got to grow into those places and get the experience of working with young people when they did terrible things.
• 30:09
  Moana Emett: Um, high level, you know, terrible things, um, to actually support them in a way of pro.
• 30:18
  Moana Emett: It's more than a process, in a way of being able to acknowledge putting things right for themselves and putting things right with others, and.
• 30:28
  Moana Emett: Being able to have the support to be responsible and accountable, whether they meant to harm anyone or not, and being willing to be able to, you know, when they have been harmed, being willing to be able to, or being able to be able to have that honest conversation with the person who's caused them harm and to be able to talk through how they've been affected and what needs to happen to put things right.
• 30:52
  Moana Emett: And if they can't put things right, how can they still move on in their lives?
• 30:56
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 30:57
  Tracy Cartwright: So your role is teaching others how to initiate this practice or the, there's, there's only one law I know.
• 31:07
  Moana Emett: Well, that's how I started is was throwing that and then I was really lucky.
• 31:13
  Moana Emett: I worked for the University of Waikato here in New Zealand, um, and they hold a contract with the Ministry of Education here, and we started off with 28.
• 31:23
  Moana Emett: Schools in New Zealand.
• 31:25
  Moana Emett: Um, this started in 2015, so, um, I came into this team.
• 31:30
  Moana Emett: Um, I'd already had the vision of this occurring, um, probably about seven or eight years prior to this occurring.
• 31:37
  Moana Emett: Um, and I knew that we were gonna be successful.
• 31:40
  Moana Emett: Initially it was meant to be for three years, and now it's, we're into our 10th year and I now oversee this beautiful team of people across New Zealand.
• 31:48
  Moana Emett: There's 11 people in our team, um, and we are working with about 500 schools from, um, primary age children, five year olds.
• 31:56
  Moana Emett: All the way through to 17, 18 year olds, um, and with their teachers and support staff, anyone who works within that school community, parents, students around, um, shifting from a punitive culture to actually shifting that culture to a more relational and inclusive culture where we actually address.
• 32:20
  Moana Emett: Um, pain and trauma and suffering and hurt and harm in a relational, restorative way, and we restoration and, which is constellations in
• 32:29
  Tracy Cartwright: a way, in a way, which is constellations.
• 32:30
  Tracy Cartwright: Yes.
• 32:30
  Tracy Cartwright: It's, it's acknowledging what belongs and, and bringing back the, and the balance.
• 32:35
  Tracy Cartwright: Yes.
• 32:36
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 32:36
  Moana Emett: It's, it that acknowledgement, you know, um, Barry talks about, you know, children want to feel safe seen.
• 32:45
  Moana Emett: Loved and nourished.
• 32:47
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm.
• 32:47
  Moana Emett: And you know, that's our natural state of being.
• 32:52
  Moana Emett: And so, no, I, I wonder, often wonder whether that's what this work is about is returning to that, finding a new way to be that, acknowledging that those things didn't occur.
• 33:06
  Moana Emett: So how can I have them now?
• 33:08
  Moana Emett: Who in my system was safe?
• 33:11
  Moana Emett: Was seen, was acknowledged, was nourished.
• 33:14
  Moana Emett: How can I restore that within the family system?
• 33:17
  Moana Emett: How can I restore that within my system?
• 33:21
  Tracy Cartwright: How, how do you see constellations?
• 33:24
  Tracy Cartwright: Is that part of something that you would bring into the restorative justice?
• 33:27
  Tracy Cartwright: Uh, no, not justice.
• 33:29
  Tracy Cartwright: Restorative
• 33:30
  Moana Emett: practices,
• 33:31
  Tracy Cartwright: practice space.
• 33:32
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 33:33
  Tracy Cartwright: Um, yeah.
• 33:34
  Moana Emett: Well, I do with this body of knowledge now I'm interested in what happened beforehand and you know, this child's showing up at school and is behaving this way, or is hurting, or is harming, or is just regulated.
• 33:51
  Moana Emett: So where has that come from?
• 33:54
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm
• 33:55
  Moana Emett: and.
• 33:56
  Moana Emett: Who is this child's parents.
• 33:58
  Moana Emett: Um, and so putting things also in order, it's very easy in education to take, want to take the place of the parents, but you need to find, actually, that's not my place and that's not my job.
• 34:10
  Moana Emett: It's finding the space where you as an adult can create.
• 34:14
  Moana Emett: A safe place for this young person?
• 34:17
  Moana Emett: What do they actually need?
• 34:19
  Moana Emett: Um, and, and I'll give you an example of how I've recently been playing with it.
• 34:24
  Moana Emett: So I was in a school, a primary school, and working with, um, some support staff and what, um, we often talk about the children that they're supporting.
• 34:35
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 34:35
  Moana Emett: And one of them, um, said, well, I've got a child that I support who's a runner, you know, a runner.
• 34:43
  Moana Emett: I, they try to escape school.
• 34:45
  Moana Emett: So, um, the gates have to be all locked and closed during the school day, and they've gotta make sure that that child, someone's with that child.
• 34:55
  Moana Emett: At every break so that that child doesn't try and escape and get over.
• 34:59
  Moana Emett: And so I'd recently done some work, um, actually with Barry Cross around a DHD in the field.
• 35:05
  Moana Emett: And this child has been, um, diagnosed with a DHD.
• 35:09
  Moana Emett: One of the things with A DHD is that child, um, there's often a, uh, an ancestor or someone in the system who's trying to escape, looking for freedom and so, right.
• 35:25
  Moana Emett: And so.
• 35:26
  Moana Emett: I brought in, I, I spoke to this girl, uh, to this woman, and, and I, I was interesting.
• 35:33
  Moana Emett: I noticed in her own system something similar was going on.
• 35:37
  Moana Emett: It's like, how did you end up with this child?
• 35:40
  Moana Emett: I. And so I suggested, I said, what does he, what do you think we need?
• 35:45
  Moana Emett: And we, we, we co-created this as a group.
• 35:48
  Moana Emett: And it's interesting, I'd opened up the space for information to come through and, and some of the other staff members started saying, oh, he needs this.
• 35:57
  Moana Emett: Oh, he needs that.
• 35:57
  Moana Emett: And they were accurate.
• 35:59
  Moana Emett: And I said, why?
• 36:00
  Moana Emett: If we bring in the space of freedom where, you know, we can actually find the freedom that he is looking for.
• 36:07
  Moana Emett: And as soon as we did that and that was acknowledged, the, the support staff member relaxed.
• 36:14
  Moana Emett: Now, that was the first time she had relaxed the whole time She was hypervigilant.
• 36:19
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 36:20
  Moana Emett: And so was this child.
• 36:22
  Moana Emett: And so now she's relaxed because there this, there's a representative for a safe escape, not being chased anymore.
• 36:32
  Moana Emett: She relaxed.
• 36:34
  Moana Emett: The child has relaxed.
• 36:36
  Moana Emett: So I've yet to catch up to see what else has happened, but that's where the power of this work is.
• 36:41
  Moana Emett: I've also had another student who, interestingly I came into the classroom just to sit down and observe what was going on for these five year olds who are rolling around on the carpet.
• 36:51
  Moana Emett: Um, and, you know, totally dysregulated and disconnected.
• 36:56
  Moana Emett: And so I am asked to bring in representatives of their family.
• 37:02
  Moana Emett: I. So some ancient ancestors who are healthy and whole and healed to come and be in the classroom.
• 37:10
  Moana Emett: And I asked certain things in the classroom to represent those things.
• 37:17
  Moana Emett: And I did the same with other you, this with the children, young man.
• 37:20
  Moana Emett: So I just asked if the children, so just ask for these representatives to come and to, to support.
• 37:27
  Moana Emett: Them and whatever it is that they needed.
• 37:30
  Moana Emett: You know, I don't have to do the work, but I can see what's, I, can I, well you guess get a sense of what's required and can ask.
• 37:37
  Moana Emett: Uh, another school was really struggling and I just ask what needs to be seen and acknowledged on the land of the school?
• 37:44
  Moana Emett: Who are the ancestors from the space?
• 37:47
  Moana Emett: So just even just so.
• 37:48
  Moana Emett: Simple acknowledgements can
• 37:50
  Tracy Cartwright: Beautiful shift and move.
• 37:51
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 37:51
  Tracy Cartwright: Because the land, often schools are placed on land that's been taken, right?
• 37:56
  Tracy Cartwright: Yes.
• 37:56
  Tracy Cartwright: It could be on top of a battle.
• 37:59
  Tracy Cartwright: A battle site.
• 38:00
  Tracy Cartwright: Battle site.
• 38:02
  Tracy Cartwright: Yes.
• 38:03
  Moana Emett: Yes.
• 38:03
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 38:05
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 38:05
  Tracy Cartwright: Wow, that's so beautiful.
• 38:09
  Moana Emett: Ooh, that is beautiful.
• 38:11
  Moana Emett: And that to me is.
• 38:16
  Moana Emett: It brings peace to my soul and you know that the little piece of something better has just been fed or nourished or acknowledged.
• 38:29
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 38:29
  Moana Emett: Or healed.
• 38:31
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 38:32
  Tracy Cartwright: That's so beautiful.
• 38:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
• 38:35
  Tracy Cartwright: That's why I love what you're doing in the world.
• 38:37
  Tracy Cartwright: And, and what the more, 'cause you get to touch and, and teach.
• 38:43
  Tracy Cartwright: So many teachers, right?
• 38:44
  Tracy Cartwright: And then they get to ripple that out to all the, and that flows back to the families.
• 38:51
  Tracy Cartwright: And it's just magic, you know?
• 38:54
  Tracy Cartwright: If you can, a little bit of light for a child can just ignite so much.
• 39:01
  Tracy Cartwright: I think about myself as a teenager and, and I look back there and I sometimes think, why did nobody see what was happening the way I was?
• 39:11
  Tracy Cartwright: Demonstrating to the world how much pain I was in.
• 39:16
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 39:18
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 39:18
  Tracy Cartwright: And the things I was doing and, uh, the trouble I got myself into.
• 39:23
  Tracy Cartwright: I mean, obviously there's a greater reason for all of that too, but I also, I think maybe we just lived in an era where there was a lot of blinkers.
• 39:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, for sure.
• 39:34
  Tracy Cartwright: A lot of blinders on, uh, on.
• 39:36
  Tracy Cartwright: Now the people around us, they were trying their best.
• 39:39
  Tracy Cartwright: They were doing their best, and that was.
• 39:41
  Tracy Cartwright: Everything was perfect.
• 39:42
  Tracy Cartwright: Right.
• 39:42
  Tracy Cartwright: And I just sort of think now that the children have people around them with so much more awareness and it's fantastic.
• 39:50
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 39:50
  Moana Emett: And we, we, and we're seeing the, the shift in culture, you know, um, sometimes we want to change things or get rid of, but we know that everything needs to have a place.
• 40:02
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 40:02
  Moana Emett: Everything needs to be included.
• 40:06
  Moana Emett: And I dunno if it's the time is right, but it's almost like the conditions are right or correct or there's a, the frequency is able to allow something to shift and change.
• 40:19
  Moana Emett: Then that shift and change can come, and that's why we're seeing this.
• 40:23
  Moana Emett: Um, shift in movement as well, and know, it's like the world is even more and more people are now waking up.
• 40:31
  Moana Emett: And I, when I think about, um, just, you know, the orders of belonging order and balance, there are things that we are loyal to for a long time.
• 40:45
  Moana Emett: Yeah, because, because it's not.
• 40:47
  Moana Emett: Time yet it's not safe yet.
• 40:49
  Moana Emett: If you're acknowledging where that, that that space, where that belongs and that those things occurred for survival, for safety, for whatever, then it's just, it's an acknowledgement of that and it takes a very brave and courageous, um, being to step beyond that, but also having faith that the universe that this.
• 41:13
  Moana Emett: Amazing field of consciousness and awareness will support you and not beating yourself up if mm-hmm.
• 41:21
  Moana Emett: You know, if that hasn't shown up for you, for you yet, or, or,
• 41:26
  Tracy Cartwright: or even in the same way that it has others that you might be looking around and seeing, oh, they're doing this.
• 41:32
  Tracy Cartwright: That must mean that they're.
• 41:33
  Tracy Cartwright: Growing in a way that I'm not growing, but actually we're all shifting and changing.
• 41:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Right?
• 41:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 41:39
  Tracy Cartwright: And, and not to be comparing the grass next door to the gra you know, it might be different to grass, right?
• 41:46
  Tracy Cartwright: Just gonna grow a bit slower in a, and grow in a different way.
• 41:49
  Tracy Cartwright: So.
• 41:50
  Moana Emett: That's right.
• 41:51
  Moana Emett: Uh, each of us is, is playing a part.
• 41:53
  Moana Emett: You know, I think about my own family and, you know, everyone is supporting someone or contributing to someone until maybe they don't need to or until something shifts and changes, or maybe they're just, they're happy to do that and that makes a massive difference.
• 42:09
  Moana Emett: That brings stability to the system.
• 42:13
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
• 42:13
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 42:14
  Moana Emett: It's
• 42:14
  Tracy Cartwright: funny, this morning, this morning I was like, I've been drinking big cleanup in, in the house and I found some journals because I'm, you know, as you know, I'm an artist, but, but others don't.
• 42:25
  Tracy Cartwright: But some of them are, are art journals and some of them are, are writing journals.
• 42:29
  Tracy Cartwright: And, and one of them I found a picture that I drew about seven years ago, and it was a real quick, just a doodle and it's completely out distorted.
• 42:39
  Tracy Cartwright: It's not even in thing, but it was about driving the bus, you know, um, and not having my inner child drive the bus and 1:00 AM I, I called it wahine on tour.
• 42:49
  Moana Emett: I love that.
• 42:49
  Moana Emett: And, and, and can you also just, um.
• 42:53
  Moana Emett: Uh, just expl talk into that a little bit more around, you know, um, wahine as in, wahine as in woman Yeah.
• 43:02
  Moana Emett: Female.
• 43:03
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 43:03
  Moana Emett: Um, and driving the bus and, and not the bus and not, and a child.
• 43:08
  Moana Emett: What, what's that about?
• 43:09
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, because with my wounds, the wounds that I experienced, and they started really going so often, my.
• 43:18
  Tracy Cartwright: 3-year-old or even younger was driving the bus and I might have a put my foot in the ground, you know, when your, for your little one has a tanty, I'm not gonna move, get very rigid and stuff because I've always been able to channel but not realize it.
• 43:33
  Tracy Cartwright: When I was younger, obviously, and this was done in October, uh, 2018.
• 43:40
  Tracy Cartwright: On tour, I've got my little one in the back of the bus now playing, yes, with a microphone and a hand, singing, having a great time.
• 43:48
  Tracy Cartwright: I've got two that look like twins next to each other and maybe different versions of myself all throughout the bus, but also the woman behind me.
• 43:58
  Tracy Cartwright: It's like a full of women, and I'm driving the bus.
• 44:02
  Tracy Cartwright: My mom's next to me.
• 44:03
  Tracy Cartwright: My grandmother's behind me.
• 44:04
  Tracy Cartwright: My mum says It's time to to get your girl's little one.
• 44:09
  Tracy Cartwright: So she's telling me, because I'm saying, let's drop off the baggage and surrender the pain so we can collect the pieces that we have left behind.
• 44:19
  Moana Emett: Wow.
• 44:21
  Tracy Cartwright: My wah on tour bus on the front of it.
• 44:24
  Tracy Cartwright: It's got a banner and it's got strength in numbers and my grandmother's sitting behind me going, go girls.
• 44:31
  Tracy Cartwright: Beautiful.
• 44:32
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 44:32
  Tracy Cartwright: Mom,
• 44:33
  Moana Emett: we've got this.
• 44:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 44:34
  Moana Emett: So, whew.
• 44:36
  Moana Emett: Well that sounds like a workshop to me, Tracy, while there on tour.
• 44:41
  Moana Emett: That sounds like an amazing piece of work.
• 44:44
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 44:44
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 44:45
  Tracy Cartwright: And it, and it says it's time to rewrite your story.
• 44:47
  Tracy Cartwright: A little one move forward so that.
• 44:50
  Tracy Cartwright: Not move forward in the bus, but move forward.
• 44:52
  Tracy Cartwright: Yes.
• 44:52
  Tracy Cartwright: Moving from your own life and moving beyond the pain and Yes.
• 44:56
  Tracy Cartwright: Um, and there's hahaha but laughter all through it.
• 44:59
  Tracy Cartwright: I've got the word strength, compassion, connection, unconditional love.
• 45:03
  Tracy Cartwright: Uh, I just, yeah.
• 45:04
  Tracy Cartwright: I look, I love looking back, some of the things made me cringe a little bit that I was, that I'd written and then I was like, oh no, that's all perfect for the what was there at the time.
• 45:12
  Tracy Cartwright: This was your mental, this was your mental state at the time, Tracy.
• 45:15
  Tracy Cartwright: That's okay.
• 45:17
  Tracy Cartwright: Um, not to judge myself.
• 45:18
  Tracy Cartwright: And, but then when I found this and I just sat here and I've laughed and laughed at it, it's, it's fun and it's hilarious and I might even, I'll see if I can get, um, Hazel who helps me, or Freda who helps me here with the podcast to, uh, to put an image up.
• 45:34
  Tracy Cartwright: It's very, um, yeah, like I say, it's not in full.
• 45:40
  Tracy Cartwright: I dunno if you can see that.
• 45:41
  Tracy Cartwright: Can you see.
• 45:43
  Moana Emett: A little bit closer.
• 45:45
  Moana Emett: This is a piece of work, like for me, it's like it just wants to emerge.
• 45:50
  Moana Emett: How many of us are sitting in the backseat of the bus or actually sitting in the, in the, in the luggage department, or it's still on the side of the road and somebody else is driving your bus around and you are, and you are still sitting at the bus stop and nobody picked you up.
• 46:07
  Tracy Cartwright: Well, that's so funny because that was, that was such a story in my life, right?
• 46:10
  Tracy Cartwright: I got forgotten quite a few times.
• 46:12
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm. Like literally forgotten, left places, different things.
• 46:16
  Tracy Cartwright: Oh, wow.
• 46:17
  Tracy Cartwright: How well you go.
• 46:17
  Tracy Cartwright: So having my own bus, doing for myself, doing for myself, what my mom and her mom were not able to, you know, my, my mom wasn't able to do for me what her mom wasn't able to do for her and her mom and so on.
• 46:31
  Tracy Cartwright: And I, you know, seeing that pain and, yeah.
• 46:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 46:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 46:37
  Tracy Cartwright: Wah on tour.
• 46:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 46:40
  Moana Emett: From that one.
• 46:41
  Moana Emett: Reclaiming, reclaim all those parts.
• 46:44
  Moana Emett: Um, I love that.
• 46:45
  Moana Emett: You know, and the journey of your life and going back and, you know, everywhere that you've left a part of you at, at the bus stop or they didn't even get to the bus stop, they're still at the beat and actually picking them up and, you know, one of the things I also just want to just share is, you know, when I first came to Constellation work, I didn't realize how fragmented.
• 47:06
  Moana Emett: I was as a being.
• 47:09
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 47:09
  Moana Emett: And how that fragmentation played out and who would show up on a daily basis.
• 47:16
  Moana Emett: So, you know, talking about the, the inner child or the, or, you know, my 5-year-old, my 4-year-old, my 3-year-old, my 2-year-old.
• 47:22
  Moana Emett: And then wondering, you know, making myself wrong and parts of my life.
• 47:27
  Moana Emett: Where I just, I know I was inappropriate, but it's like I had no control over it or I couldn't even tell you who was in that space.
• 47:36
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 47:36
  Moana Emett: And then also being aware of who I was entangled with was actually, so, you know, because I wasn't.
• 47:42
  Moana Emett: Fully present.
• 47:43
  Moana Emett: Um, and I'm entangled with some of my ancestors or other energies and how then that would just take over and play out in my life.
• 47:52
  Moana Emett: I'm not driving the bus here, um, through to today.
• 47:56
  Moana Emett: Um, and I, and I also want to acknowledge the, um, Tracy as my teacher.
• 48:01
  Moana Emett: I did my training with my initial training with, with Tracy and a group of amazing women.
• 48:09
  Moana Emett: We just sort of nurtured each other into a space of learning about doing this work and being this work, going on our own healing journeys with each other.
• 48:21
  Moana Emett: And having that support and safety of that Tracy creates in, in your workshops, in your classes.
• 48:30
  Moana Emett: And I mean, I look at how far we've all come today and, and that was only in 2023 that we did that training.
• 48:39
  Moana Emett: 2023. Is it?
• 48:40
  Moana Emett: It seems like
• 48:41
  Tracy Cartwright: longer than that
• 48:42
  Moana Emett: because it wasn't last year.
• 48:43
  Moana Emett: We were the group beforehand.
• 48:45
  Moana Emett: Uh, but it seems such a long time ago.
• 48:47
  Moana Emett: But in that, in that training, Tracy, you helped me to find my adult and I was able to come forward.
• 48:54
  Moana Emett: Uh, I had no idea what an adult.
• 48:56
  Moana Emett: Being me, the adult felt like.
• 48:59
  Moana Emett: So it was very similar to the feeling safe.
• 49:02
  Moana Emett: So I helped me, helped me to find my adult, and then my, for my adult to be nurtured and nourished to be able to come forward.
• 49:11
  Moana Emett: To start living my life actually as an adult.
• 49:14
  Moana Emett: You know, still, still playful, but actually in a more healthy and whole way.
• 49:21
  Moana Emett: And for those parts that had fragmented, for those to be able to find their way back to wholeness.
• 49:28
  Moana Emett: And you know, today I just think about how much healthier and more whole I am as a, as a being.
• 49:33
  Moana Emett: And then the healing that's come for my body with that.
• 49:37
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 49:38
  Tracy Cartwright: I mean, because there're, you know, obviously we're growing and we're evolving and we're adulting.
• 49:42
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
• 49:43
  Tracy Cartwright: But we're always having that child drive the bus or the victim drive the bus.
• 49:47
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, yeah.
• 49:48
  Tracy Cartwright: Or the perpetrator in us drive the bus.
• 49:50
  Tracy Cartwright: Right.
• 49:50
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 49:51
  Tracy Cartwright: Because we're bouncing, we're pinging between those, and that allows you to step fully into your authentic self and to be able to bring all those parts back together.
• 50:00
  Tracy Cartwright: And it is a journey, right?
• 50:02
  Tracy Cartwright: Sometimes the bus has to go around the circuit a few times to get the ones that are hiding behind the bus stop.
• 50:07
  Tracy Cartwright: Not the ones that are in front that are hiding behind the bus stop, which are for me at the moment, showing up, which is beautiful.
• 50:14
  Tracy Cartwright: Happy to be.
• 50:16
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 50:16
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm really pleased to be able to look at some of those layers because they've haunted me.
• 50:21
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 50:21
  Tracy Cartwright: So,
• 50:22
  Moana Emett: yeah.
• 50:23
  Moana Emett: And it's safe for them to get on the bus now.
• 50:25
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 50:26
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 50:26
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 50:27
  Moana Emett: And, you know, just, and, and, and all of the, um, resources that are on the bus.
• 50:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Absolutely tap into all that knowledge.
• 50:36
  Tracy Cartwright: Hey, the wisdom and the strength from the ancestors.
• 50:39
  Moana Emett: Mm-hmm.
• 50:40
  Tracy Cartwright: And also you can have a little bit of what the, what would Tracy do on the bus?
• 50:44
  Moana Emett: Yeah, that's right.
• 50:45
  Moana Emett: What would Tracy do on the bus?
• 50:47
  Moana Emett: What would Bert Hellinger do on the bus?
• 50:49
  Moana Emett: What would you know, some of the amazing teachers she asked to do on the bus?
• 50:54
  Moana Emett: Um, yeah,
• 50:56
  Tracy Cartwright: definitely tell my student, my trainings get started to sum that question.
• 51:03
  Tracy Cartwright: And then something might pop in.
• 51:05
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:06
  Tracy Cartwright: Or what the fact, yeah, that's another good question.
• 51:08
  Tracy Cartwright: And I, I love that.
• 51:09
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 51:10
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 51:13
  Moana Emett: But, and willingness to ask questions and to not have to know the answers to any of it.
• 51:18
  Moana Emett: Just for, you know, to trust the field, to trust the space that's something will emerge.
• 51:23
  Moana Emett: Um, and to, and to trust yourself.
• 51:26
  Tracy Cartwright: Exactly.
• 51:27
  Tracy Cartwright: I think that's one of the biggest things Constellations brings back to us, right?
• 51:31
  Tracy Cartwright: Is trust.
• 51:32
  Tracy Cartwright: Through, through belonging order imbalance.
• 51:35
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 51:35
  Tracy Cartwright: And, and all that is trust.
• 51:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 51:39
  Moana Emett: And so what have you got coming up next, Tracy?
• 51:42
  Tracy Cartwright: Hmm.
• 51:43
  Tracy Cartwright: I've got quite a bit coming up actually.
• 51:45
  Tracy Cartwright: My, my next round of training starts Yes.
• 51:49
  Tracy Cartwright: Uh, on the 16th of May.
• 51:50
  Tracy Cartwright: And that is my biggest group so far.
• 51:53
  Tracy Cartwright: Wow.
• 51:55
  Tracy Cartwright: Uh, yeah.
• 51:57
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm like, okay.
• 51:58
  Tracy Cartwright: So this is all in perfect alignment.
• 52:02
  Tracy Cartwright: I've got some more online courses coming up because I've also got a, an operation that I shared earlier on some medical Yeah.
• 52:09
  Tracy Cartwright: Procedure coming up.
• 52:10
  Tracy Cartwright: So I'm like, okay, how can I do that is still gonna be productive and that I don't have to go out and do physical things because I need to rest for Yeah.
• 52:20
  Tracy Cartwright: For, for about six weeks.
• 52:21
  Tracy Cartwright: So, yeah.
• 52:23
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 52:23
  Tracy Cartwright: It's honoring,
• 52:24
  Moana Emett: honoring of you and your body.
• 52:26
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 52:27
  Moana Emett: And, and your, and the adventure and the journey that you're on, you know, the adventure that you're on.
• 52:33
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm, I'm also, uh, off to.
• 52:37
  Tracy Cartwright: So, what did we say?
• 52:38
  Tracy Cartwright: 10 days time?
• 52:39
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm off to Australia.
• 52:40
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 52:40
  Tracy Cartwright: I've taken myself back into a foundation foundational training program with Maria Lin and Meyer again following the calling of my soul.
• 52:50
  Tracy Cartwright: You know, I've been doing this work for a long time and people are saying, why are you doing this foundational training?
• 52:55
  Tracy Cartwright: And I'm like, Hmm, I dunno.
• 52:58
  Tracy Cartwright: My soul's asking me to do this.
• 53:00
  Tracy Cartwright: And it's great because I'm coming in at a, at a different level, and I think this is part of allowing, because I'm a different being, so I'm coming in and, and learning new things, things that, and Maria's teachers are different to my teachers, so I'm gonna learn things that I haven't learned before.
• 53:16
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
• 53:17
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm doing that.
• 53:18
  Tracy Cartwright: And then on the end of this next trip to Australia, in May, I'll be in Kangaroo Island.
• 53:23
  Tracy Cartwright: Mm.
• 53:26
  Tracy Cartwright: There's five other facilitators, Robin Banks, who's here from, and she'll be doing some creative art.
• 53:32
  Tracy Cartwright: Oh,
• 53:34
  Moana Emett: beautifuls.
• 53:34
  Moana Emett: Ah, she's beautiful.
• 53:36
  Tracy Cartwright: She is beautiful.
• 53:37
  Tracy Cartwright: Fiona Douglas, who create, who is the creator of Sacred Vessels, she'll be bringing in, um, I've also introduced her to the cacao and the Solomon Islands of Papua New Guinea.
• 53:48
  Tracy Cartwright: So she is, has her own brand of cacao, so she'll be bringing that through.
• 53:53
  Tracy Cartwright: And we have.
• 53:56
  Tracy Cartwright: A couple of other beautiful women from Australia who I haven't met in person, but they've got some delicious offerings as well.
• 54:01
  Tracy Cartwright: So that's some Kangaroo Island.
• 54:04
  Tracy Cartwright: Wow.
• 54:04
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, there's a lot coming up.
• 54:06
  Tracy Cartwright: Retreat and Lombok.
• 54:08
  Tracy Cartwright: Lobo, a retreat in Lombok.
• 54:09
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 54:10
  Tracy Cartwright: Which is the island next to Bali with Susan Archer and Denise Warner.
• 54:15
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 54:16
  Tracy Cartwright: And yeah, and I've been invited to present in Mexico, so.
• 54:21
  Tracy Cartwright: Wow.
• 54:22
  Tracy Cartwright: Wow.
• 54:22
  Tracy Cartwright: So it makes on the cards with, uh, potentially, and if anyone's interested, then this is, is I'm putting this out there now, that there'll be a guided that we're gonna go around through the cacao trees, through some, um, exploring through there and through the temples and the, um, the ruins around maybe Chile on the way through, and then up to Yucatan as well.
• 54:44
  Tracy Cartwright: Sorry, as well as.
• 54:47
  Tracy Cartwright: And very
• 54:47
  Moana Emett: sacred spaces, like just amazing sacred spaces.
• 54:50
  Moana Emett: Uh, so I wonder what, you know, like the sacred energy that still sits within the space of consciousness and in the field.
• 54:59
  Moana Emett: I wonder what, um, healing is available and, um, possibilities and
• 55:06
  Tracy Cartwright: gifts.
• 55:08
  Tracy Cartwright: And what about yourself?
• 55:08
  Tracy Cartwright: What have you got coming up?
• 55:09
  Tracy Cartwright: 'cause I know you, you do other things other than what we've just spoken about, so what have you?
• 55:14
  Moana Emett: Yeah, I do.
• 55:15
  Moana Emett: Um, that's a great question.
• 55:17
  Moana Emett: Uh, when I look at my diary, it's just like, ah, it seems very full.
• 55:22
  Moana Emett: My next adventure is actually to to, to WAMU the south island.
• 55:26
  Moana Emett: And my husband and I are going to be going and doing some touring down there.
• 55:30
  Moana Emett: What I love about being an.
• 55:35
  Moana Emett: Namu, um, the space where Greenstone, mm-hmm.
• 55:40
  Moana Emett: Um, beautiful greenstone comes from is the resonance of the land there.
• 55:44
  Moana Emett: Uh, the energy's very clean, um, and unpolluted.
• 55:50
  Moana Emett: I often have a lot of, um, in sight and to what's happening in the world as well as where I need to go to next in my own life.
• 56:01
  Moana Emett: So I'm looking forward to.
• 56:04
  Moana Emett: Being in that space and opening up to that space and also having some really honoring time in my relationship with my husband, some time for, um, greater tenderness.
• 56:16
  Moana Emett: Um, and between us with our love and.
• 56:19
  Moana Emett: Caring for each other, honoring of each other in this beautiful space.
• 56:25
  Moana Emett: Tramping playing with our bodies, you know, in the most amazing environment.
• 56:30
  Moana Emett: Sitting in beautiful hot springs that us, you know, on the mountains and beautiful mountain water.
• 56:38
  Moana Emett: So that's the next thing in terms of playing with my body, nourishing my body, and feeding me the my being.
• 56:46
  Moana Emett: And, um, I continue to, um, have private clients.
• 56:51
  Moana Emett: Um, a lot of my clients are in the northern hemisphere.
• 56:55
  Moana Emett: Um, that's just sort of where things are at, uh, where they've, they've started Canada, the America, Australia, and so I'm interested in, in who else, you know.
• 57:05
  Moana Emett: Often it's just a thread opens to somewhere new because that's now reaching for you or maybe you are reaching for that energy and it can be a contribution in your life.
• 57:17
  Moana Emett: Uh, asking questions about where I'm going to adventure next.
• 57:21
  Moana Emett: In terms of the space of family constellation, I'm really love the work of organizational system, systemic work, um, as well.
• 57:30
  Moana Emett: I think I have a capacity for that.
• 57:32
  Moana Emett: Um.
• 57:33
  Moana Emett: And maybe the space of continuing to work with children.
• 57:36
  Moana Emett: So that's what's in the field at the moment, some clarity around that.
• 57:40
  Moana Emett: Just meeting a lot of amazing people at at, at Anki from different parts of the world.
• 57:45
  Moana Emett: So I'm looking to growing those connections as well.
• 57:49
  Moana Emett: And yeah, let's see what else is possible?
• 57:53
  Tracy Cartwright: Beautiful.
• 57:55
  Tracy Cartwright: Beautiful.
• 57:55
  Tracy Cartwright: So if someone wanted to get hold of you, can you just, um, share it here and we'll put the links into the, um, threads, but some people like to hear it, hear the audio?
• 58:06
  Moana Emett: Yeah, sure.
• 58:07
  Moana Emett: Um, so you can contact me, um, via email is probably the best or go on to my website.
• 58:14
  Moana Emett: So my website is moana emmett.com.
• 58:18
  Moana Emett: So M-O-A-N-A-E-M-E-T t.com, sorry, and similar for my email, moana dot emmett@gmail.com is the best way to actually find me and or just reach out to Tracy, but she's gonna put my contact details.
• 58:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Below.
• 58:41
  Moana Emett: That's
• 58:41
  Tracy Cartwright: beautiful.
• 58:41
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you so much.
• 58:42
  Tracy Cartwright: We could talk about ages.
• 58:43
  Tracy Cartwright: There's so much to talk about.
• 58:45
  Moana Emett: Yeah.
• 58:45
  Moana Emett: I'll come around for another cup of co al this week.
• 58:49
  Moana Emett: We'll have a catch up.
• 58:50
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 58:50
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 58:50
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm getting some little microphones that we can sit and talk to each other and we can have a cup of tea together in the same space.
• 58:57
  Tracy Cartwright: So, uh, we'll see what happens there.
• 58:59
  Tracy Cartwright: Eh, we'll play, play with those.
• 59:02
  Moana Emett: Thank you so much, Tracy, for having me today, um, on your show, and I've really enjoyed being in this space, being able to connect and I just hope that, um, yeah, this connects to whoever needs to hear it.
• 59:17
  Moana Emett: And, uh, yeah, best wishes for all the amazing things that you're doing this year.
• 59:22
  Moana Emett: I'm likely to join you on a number of them.
• 59:24
  Tracy Cartwright: Always welcome.
• 59:25
  Tracy Cartwright: And it's always such a pleasure to, um, share space with so beautiful.
• 59:31
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you for listening.
• 59:33
  Tracy Cartwright: Head over to Instagram and tell me what's resonated for you.
• 59:36
  Tracy Cartwright: With this episode, you'll find me at Tracy dot Cartwright.
• 59:41
  Tracy Cartwright: That's Tracy with no e dot Cartwright and the or head over to my website, Tracy cartwright.co nz, and receive a free audio with the gift from your ancestors.
• 59:54
  Tracy Cartwright: So until next time, be kind to yourself and have fun doing it.