Latest / Random Heathen Ramblings / Random Heathen Ramblings: S4, EP 35 - Embracing Change (feat. Patrick Walsh)

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Random Heathen Ramblings: S4, EP 35 - Embracing Change (feat. Patrick Walsh) · Random Heathen Ramblings

• 0:01
  Hello everyone, and welcome to the Random Heathen Ramblings
• 0:03
  podcast where we discuss all sorts of things Dramatic,
• 0:06
  Heathenry related. My name is Jesse.
• 0:09
  I'm your host. Let's get into it.
• 0:34
  All right folks. So we are back again on the
• 0:37
  Random Heathen Ramblings podcast.
• 0:38
  Going to be bringing you another guest this week.
• 0:41
  A return guest, my good friend Patrick Walsh.
• 0:43
  We're going to be talking today about experiencing change.
• 0:47
  We're actually going to be listening to a supporter or
• 0:51
  listener of this podcast who called in last week and started
• 0:57
  talking a bit about some things happening in their life, that
• 1:00
  insight that that is inciting change for them.
• 1:03
  I thought it was really interesting timing of it for us
• 1:06
  to get into this topic because you know, we just we just
• 1:11
  transitioned from that autumn equinox last week.
• 1:16
  You know, so we're we're we're leaning more now into the the
• 1:24
  dormant months. You know, things are going to
• 1:25
  start shutting down. But it is a time of change, a
• 1:29
  time of transition. This whole year I think thus far
• 1:32
  has been a really powerful focus on change.
• 1:37
  You know there's a lot of things that have happened in people's
• 1:41
  lives that I know my own life personally and just you know,
• 1:45
  the climate, the way the world is, you know what the landscape
• 1:49
  is like. A lot of, you know, a lot of
• 1:53
  consistent change is what the word I was looking for
• 1:56
  consistent. So we're going to get Patrick on
• 1:58
  here, talk a bit about that and Mirakety's most recent release
• 2:06
  Esquire Mila, which was a great song.
• 2:08
  I did a review on that also last week.
• 2:11
  So if you hadn't yet checked it out, please do so.
• 2:14
  But before we get any further, you know all the housekeeping
• 2:17
  stuff, get out of the way. Be sure to like this video.
• 2:20
  Follow this podcast. Check the description for the
• 2:23
  link tree link, Tree link. So it's in the description show
• 2:27
  notes area. Make sure you check it out.
• 2:28
  Follow along with what I do and all of my socials.
• 2:31
  If you want to support the podcast monetarily, you can do
• 2:35
  so in a number of ways. You can buy merchandise, you can
• 2:38
  become a patron on Patreon. You know a bunch of things.
• 2:42
  So check the link tree link. Also, if you want to send a
• 2:45
  gift, there's the Amazon wish list.
• 2:47
  I mean, there's all kinds of ways that you can show your
• 2:49
  support here and any which way that you want to is greatly
• 2:53
  appreciated. So thank you so much for doing
• 2:55
  all of that. Lastly, as another reminder,
• 2:59
  coming up here next month, the Shadow Mood event in
• 3:02
  Springfield, TN hosted by Raven Moon Hearth is vast, fastly
• 3:09
  approaching. Quickly approaching will be 3
• 3:13
  days for games and ritual and classes and vendors and all
• 3:20
  kinds of fun stuff beasting. So it's $45.00 for the whole
• 3:24
  weekend. It's a Friday, Saturday into
• 3:26
  Sunday sort of thing. Very primitive camping,
• 3:30
  primitive camping style event, you know, So you're going to
• 3:34
  have to bring a tent, bring all of the things that you would
• 3:37
  bring on a camping trip, Primitive camping, right.
• 3:41
  So there's not, there's not access to electricity.
• 3:44
  There's not, you know, access to bathrooms.
• 3:49
  There's a Porta John, whatever they call those things now on
• 3:53
  the property, but primitive camping.
• 3:55
  So you know, come and dress accordingly.
• 3:58
  But if you're just coming for one day, the day pass is $20 and
• 4:03
  there are no advance tickets, at least not this year.
• 4:06
  So if you're planning on coming, if you know if you're going to
• 4:09
  be there all weekend, you just pay upon entry.
• 4:13
  But the one day pass is $20 and I would encourage if you think
• 4:16
  of yourself doing that instead of spending the whole weekend
• 4:20
  that you come on Saturday the 14th, because that's when all of
• 4:26
  the good stuff is happening, all of the event games and classes
• 4:31
  and the ritual is is going to be on Saturday.
• 4:33
  So of all the days, if you're going to come just for one day,
• 4:36
  we can, you know, we would recommend that you come on on
• 4:40
  that Saturday and if you don't want to camp or you don't have
• 4:45
  the means to camp, I know Springfield and and neighboring
• 4:49
  areas of that area, you know, have hotels, Airbnb, you know.
• 4:56
  So you got that to consider too. You can come and go, right.
• 5:00
  So if you end up getting a hotel or Airbnb because you want to
• 5:04
  spend all three days there, but you don't want to really do the
• 5:07
  primitive camping thing, you can explore what options you have
• 5:11
  there in in Springfield or somewhere nearby.
• 5:13
  So check that out. The event page will be LinkedIn.
• 5:17
  The description show notes as well.
• 5:18
  It is a Facebook event page. But for those of you who do not
• 5:20
  have Facebook or don't use it, there you go.
• 5:24
  Information is there. The address will be linked down
• 5:28
  there as well, in case you're just catching this on the audio
• 5:31
  podcast and you didn't see the address on your screen.
• 5:33
  So all that information will be LinkedIn, the show notes in the
• 5:36
  description area. So without further ado, let's go
• 5:39
  ahead and welcome back to the podcast This week, Patrick
• 5:42
  Walsh. Let's talk about, let's talk
• 5:46
  about. Yeah, just experiencing change
• 5:49
  and embracing change. Let's get into it.
• 5:54
  All right, folks. Welcome back to the show,
• 5:55
  Patrick. And welcome back to the show,
• 5:57
  everybody. Happy to be here.
• 6:01
  How was your week, man? You know what, it was more
• 6:05
  towards the last couple days that really stood out and really
• 6:08
  hit home? Just getting out into the
• 6:13
  elements and. Making the ventures and trips
• 6:17
  that I've had to honor the the autumn equinox and just getting
• 6:22
  praise and you know, honor to some really cool people, really
• 6:28
  good, you know, holidays and everything in general.
• 6:31
  Just, you know, feeling pretty good.
• 6:33
  Besides, it should be work week. That's good.
• 6:35
  It's nice to have things to offset that work, you know, the
• 6:40
  life work balance, you know. Counterbalance that Yeah.
• 6:43
  Yeah. Well, we've definitely been
• 6:45
  feeling a lot more. It's been, it's been definitely
• 6:48
  feeling a lot more like autumn should feel, especially at night
• 6:52
  and in the mornings. So I'm glad for that too, man.
• 6:56
  How you been doing though? How's your week?
• 6:59
  It's been all right. You know, kind of the same thing
• 7:02
  by the time this airs, right? We'll already have been like a
• 7:05
  week past the the, the, the autumnal equinox, but got a
• 7:10
  chance to spend an afternoon last week with friends and and
• 7:14
  other people in the area of the pagans.
• 7:16
  Other Heathens kind of had like a potluck thing going on.
• 7:22
  Remember that when you first when you came out and visited
• 7:25
  last year. Remember the park that we were
• 7:26
  going to have our thing at? Yeah, those reserves already.
• 7:31
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 7:32
  So that's where we all hung out last week for the Maven thing,
• 7:39
  yeah. Only available.
• 7:42
  Well, it was only, only it was, it was only available because
• 7:46
  one of the people got there at like 6:30 in the morning and
• 7:51
  basically sat there all day until the rest of us got there
• 7:53
  around 2:00 in the afternoon. So they basically were like
• 7:58
  nobody, you know, nobody's going to claim this area.
• 8:00
  This is our area today. So big shout out to them for,
• 8:04
  for doing that. But yeah, other than that
• 8:08
  though, it's been, you know, pretty, pretty good.
• 8:11
  I had most of last week kind of hear to myself several days that
• 8:15
  actually while we're recording this right now, I still have got
• 8:18
  the the place to myself for the next couple of days so.
• 8:22
  Nice. Yeah.
• 8:24
  Yeah, not too bad. Fritos always liberating, but
• 8:27
  also equal parts. Like, you know, you don't know
• 8:30
  what to do with yourself, right? OK.
• 8:32
  It's like when my my dad and his girlfriend went on vacation to
• 8:36
  Florida last week or the week before.
• 8:40
  It was really. It ain't cool.
• 8:41
  But at the same time, like, damn, yeah, I'm super lonely
• 8:45
  right now. Like, but it was refreshing.
• 8:50
  Yeah, it's nice, I think, sometimes just to get a chance
• 8:54
  to ourselves, you know? Exactly so.
• 8:58
  But yeah, we're gonna be talking about things regarding change
• 9:03
  today, aren't we? That was the kind of the plan.
• 9:07
  And also you had, you had wanted to talk a bit about the a music
• 9:13
  release that just came out from one of one of the High Lung
• 9:17
  members, right, Mira. Mira, is it Miraketty or just
• 9:21
  Mira? I mean, Miraketty is like the
• 9:23
  project, but I don't. Know, I only said Mira Setty,
• 9:26
  but I think you're pronunciated more Miraketty, so don't call me
• 9:33
  anyone who's watching this who knows the proper enunciations
• 9:36
  from that. But yes.
• 9:38
  Nero's newest music video, I mean, you and I, we share a very
• 9:43
  mutual understanding and appreciation for all the work
• 9:47
  she's done. She's done so far.
• 9:50
  And like we talked in person about this, not in person, but,
• 9:54
  you know, via messenger chats. But we probably played this song
• 9:59
  more times. We're here to count.
• 10:02
  And that's a tall tale, son, that he stumbled across
• 10:05
  something very special. Very meaningful to really, you
• 10:09
  know, provide something you need to see and hear.
• 10:14
  What did you think of it? I mean, don't question.
• 10:17
  It was absolutely incredible. Yeah.
• 10:21
  Any of the videos she makes or any songs that she creates along
• 10:26
  with her companions, cuz they know there's more than just more
• 10:28
  person going on obviously, but right just the time, the
• 10:32
  sacrifice she's made to come this far is absolutely
• 10:36
  outstanding. And you know know she comes from
• 10:40
  high lung add significance to it but not to discredit that but
• 10:44
  also hurting herself. You know it's just I'm so proud
• 10:48
  of her and you know I've really saw her last year in Chicago and
• 10:55
  they've really talked to her in depth I hope to this year.
• 10:58
  But, you know, be that as it may, though, you know, a time I
• 11:02
  hear her music and watch her videos.
• 11:04
  I'm just. Taken away from all the
• 11:08
  hardships, all the problems and things that I'm facing, I'm
• 11:12
  brought to a place to really appreciate the sacred, to
• 11:19
  appreciate, you know, just the expression that we all face and
• 11:23
  go through at various stages in our lives.
• 11:26
  And you made an excellent video that I just finished minutes
• 11:31
  ago, and you probably did the best reaction video I can even.
• 11:37
  Imagine that I haven't seen any other reaction videos, but any
• 11:40
  others. Just be you know nothing is
• 11:43
  meaningful but just you know your site really complimented
• 11:48
  how I felt. Thank you.
• 11:51
  I caught it like when I when I when I saw my YouTube
• 11:54
  notification go off that you know the song was out.
• 11:58
  Now I'm like pause everything, you know, like, let me, let me
• 12:03
  check this out and see. And like, I immediately was
• 12:08
  like, well, I know what I'm going to be listening to now for
• 12:10
  a while, you know, And I'd heard the song already because the the
• 12:17
  EP or the album that that song is on along with Uriot, right,
• 12:22
  is it's, I think it's part of that same album, you know?
• 12:27
  So like the theme they kept really true or she did right?
• 12:30
  Like, but everybody a part of it kept really true to the theme,
• 12:35
  the visual theme that Uriot's video had, like the music video
• 12:40
  for that song, very similar theatrics and and yeah, yeah,
• 12:48
  not quite the same, you know, of course, because I think the the
• 12:51
  message, yeah, the message was different.
• 12:57
  You know the obviously the song's different, but that was
• 13:01
  that was like one of the things like had you heard that song
• 13:03
  prior to the video or no? Yes I have.
• 13:06
  I actually when her first video area was premiered, I quickly
• 13:14
  sought out her discography on Band Camp.
• 13:18
  Highly recommend anyone you, especially if you have it
• 13:21
  already, check out Band Camp. Band Camp in general is just an
• 13:25
  amazing app and they experiment with various platforms, be it
• 13:28
  Facebook, Instagram. Bandcap YouTube Bandcap is
• 13:34
  pretty solid. You know you have some.
• 13:37
  What I like about Bandcamp is like you know you could hear an
• 13:39
  album a couple times and you are loved with the choice you could
• 13:43
  buy it or just not replay it. Now that may not be the same for
• 13:47
  every album you listen to, but as far as high long song like
• 13:51
  here and then Mirasettis and a few Mude and a few other artists
• 13:57
  you know you can listen to a couple times, but eventually
• 13:59
  you're. You know, love the bad choice
• 14:01
  again, I mentioned, you know to buy it and Nero's album that she
• 14:05
  released a while back ago, I couldn't help her buy it.
• 14:09
  You know, this is great work and to see this up, this recent
• 14:13
  video that she uploaded and share with all of us like it's
• 14:17
  this. I'm very happy the way it turned
• 14:21
  out, but even more so excited for any future videos that she
• 14:24
  may or may not be releasing so far though, she's making.
• 14:28
  Excellent progress and just again, everything she's doing to
• 14:33
  make this possible. And there's nothing but credit
• 14:35
  and kudos for what she's done so far.
• 14:39
  Yeah, and I don't know if you knew this too, but like with
• 14:41
  Band Camp specifically, I think it's every Friday, there's what
• 14:46
  they call Band Camp Fridays and 100% of the money that you spend
• 14:51
  on the on Band Camp goes to the artist, right.
• 14:55
  Instead of the platform taking a percentage, which is standard,
• 14:58
  you know, pretty much everywhere, certain platforms
• 15:00
  take a higher percentage of a cut for having your stuff on
• 15:04
  their platform. But I think it's Fridays.
• 15:06
  They call it Band Camp Fridays. So if you were to like buy an
• 15:08
  album on a Friday off of band camp, whatever you pay for that
• 15:12
  album is 100% going to the artist at that point instead of
• 15:17
  a percentage of it. I'll.
• 15:18
  Definitely be keeping that mind. The future purchases and all
• 15:21
  that, you know? Yeah, but I did too.
• 15:23
  I listened to it. I think it was on Spotify when I
• 15:25
  first came across the album and I listened to it pretty much
• 15:30
  like front to back for on repeat, you know, for like a
• 15:33
  whole afternoon. And it's definitely a journey.
• 15:37
  You know, it definitely, like if you close your eyes and kind of
• 15:40
  put, you know, let your mind's eye envision things.
• 15:46
  You know, I wouldn't necessarily say like when you see a video,
• 15:49
  you know you're going to and then hear the song later, you're
• 15:52
  always going to think go back to that visual experience.
• 15:56
  Whereas if you listen to the song before the music video gets
• 15:59
  released or if there is no music video, you're more apt to allow
• 16:03
  that that that internal vision take you places.
• 16:08
  And it's such a like I mentioned in my review of it, it's like
• 16:13
  it's basic, not basic in a bad way, but simple.
• 16:16
  You know what I mean? Like there's nothing, there's no
• 16:19
  frills and bells and whistles or anything about the production of
• 16:22
  it. It's it's raw and it's simple
• 16:25
  and it's beautiful for it being just that, you know.
• 16:27
  It carries such a a powerful message, you know.
• 16:32
  And what that you mentioned also as well as she doesn't have the
• 16:35
  following that she deserves and our humbled opinions, you know,
• 16:40
  again, you know, I know that's struggle, that's a struggle too
• 16:44
  for a lot of artists, you know. And I hope that talking about it
• 16:47
  on on this platform and getting some conversation around it will
• 16:51
  help drive some people to check her out, right?
• 16:55
  And hope that she's going to get over, you know, having
• 17:00
  associations and you know, sure company.
• 17:04
  With high luck, I thought we'll do her a great advantage and
• 17:08
  spreading the message. Just like Alex Poso.
• 17:11
  He has his own thing going on too as well.
• 17:14
  Something I'll be sure with you shortly at this podcast.
• 17:17
  But yeah, a lot of the hours as Emily too, on that note.
• 17:23
  She released an album. I'm not sure if I told you this
• 17:26
  in person or not in person, but via chats, but she released an
• 17:31
  amazing album that just was nothing short of amazing and
• 17:33
  incredible. And you know, I really like that
• 17:36
  they do their own separate projects.
• 17:38
  Just like Maria and CRISPR. They do a song rock here.
• 17:41
  Now forgive me if I mispronounced that, but that's
• 17:45
  the original. This is the group they do just
• 17:47
  to have fun and share what they share.
• 17:50
  How long is very intent based? Very purpose based.
• 17:55
  We're doing this for a reason. Or it's the other things that I
• 17:59
  can't speak on their behalf, or anyone else's behalf, but
• 18:02
  anything else is just experimenting and getting to
• 18:05
  know their audience. Okay, I didn't realize that
• 18:09
  there were that many different side projects.
• 18:12
  There are, yes. That are the reason why highlong
• 18:17
  is this thing. Everybody is doing kind of their
• 18:19
  own thing, but then they come together and create this
• 18:22
  wonderful theatrical and ritual experience for the world.
• 18:27
  I didn't know that. Share that foundation and
• 18:30
  appreciation for what they commit themselves to, whether it
• 18:33
  be a daily practice or weekly practice or what have you.
• 18:37
  Just knowing that they share that mutual friendship and love
• 18:41
  with each other. And I find all the more
• 18:43
  inspiring and super cool to observe and to see that.
• 18:49
  Yeah, definitely. What was the thing that stood
• 18:54
  out to you the most on Mira's new song?
• 18:57
  So it's called Sqr Mila, which I think we both discovered today,
• 19:01
  or at least I did thanks to you. It's a Basque word or phrase
• 19:07
  that means grateful or thanks. It's like giving thanks,
• 19:12
  Esquire. Mila, what was the most like?
• 19:17
  What was the thing about that video?
• 19:18
  Yeah, that that song over that video that really struck in
• 19:21
  there for you. For me, it's just like her
• 19:24
  previous music video, already out again, just pronounced Jason
• 19:29
  for all you typos out there. But overall though, just the
• 19:34
  entirety of her song and just the overall intent and message
• 19:39
  that's incorporated and embedded and seeded into what she sent
• 19:43
  and shared. And for me though.
• 19:47
  For me, it was just appreciation, and I didn't know
• 19:51
  until literally an hour ago or so to really understand the name
• 19:57
  of the song and have an appreciation for what it meant.
• 20:01
  I'm happy to have seen it. It reciprocated and was on the
• 20:05
  same level as how I felt. It's like last night I listened
• 20:09
  to it over 10 times and that's being checked saying that, But I
• 20:12
  was just, you know, I was just. Purpose.
• 20:15
  It strikes a chord and a resonates me for all the right
• 20:18
  reasons. It just makes me feel special
• 20:22
  and give thanks and appreciation for not only you know our path
• 20:27
  and what we're going through, but also just, you know, the
• 20:30
  amazing mystery and works that music does and why we follow who
• 20:35
  we follow and what we do, what we do.
• 20:40
  Yeah, that was one of the beautiful things about that.
• 20:45
  Without knowing the language, without being able to speak it
• 20:48
  or understand it, you have to rely on what the message is.
• 20:56
  It speaks to you that way. You don't have to understand the
• 20:58
  language to feel that message come through.
• 21:03
  Exactly. I won't point out really quick
• 21:05
  here. I noticed we're having some
• 21:08
  audio feedback. You got it coming up on your end
• 21:12
  too. Did you hear OK?
• 21:14
  Yeah, I heard that too. OK, I'm not sure what that is.
• 21:17
  I'm not sure if I have any notifications enabled right now,
• 21:20
  cuz I have notifications enabled for Messenger.
• 21:24
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not sure that's OK.
• 21:25
  It's. Small or not, I mean, it's all
• 21:28
  right. I think people listening.
• 21:31
  It's there. Cindy.
• 21:32
  Overall is what it is. We're doing, but in a perfect
• 21:35
  world we could have this without any.
• 21:38
  Shenanigans. But you know, here we are
• 21:40
  anyways. Continue please.
• 21:41
  I'm sorry, just want to point that out though.
• 21:44
  Yeah, you're good, man. But and also the timing of when
• 21:49
  the song was released, right right around the autumn equinox,
• 21:54
  you know, that period of time of the year when day and night are
• 21:59
  of equal lengths. And then we see that that that
• 22:04
  shift, that waning or waxing or whatever the right terminology
• 22:09
  is where we start to think about the longer nights, other days,
• 22:15
  all of that stuff and get ready for rest and get ready for
• 22:21
  recovery. It is a period of time and it is
• 22:24
  a time of change, you know and we have to.
• 22:28
  I think that was like another part of the episode today that
• 22:33
  we wanted to to really touch on was change and what change can
• 22:41
  do for us and how difficult it can be experiencing change,
• 22:47
  embracing change and just how difficult or challenging it can
• 22:52
  be sometimes to face that change.
• 23:00
  All right. We got Patrick back here A
• 23:01
  little bit of technical difficulties, but you know, hey,
• 23:04
  that's just how it goes sometimes.
• 23:06
  Worst case scenario is I. Helped himself this evening, I
• 23:09
  said name. I blame myself partly for that,
• 23:12
  but I was here. We got it.
• 23:15
  Roll with the punches, right? But yeah, the Anyway, just kind
• 23:19
  of recap real quick. The timing that mirrors song
• 23:23
  came out of the autumnal equinox change being a big focus for a
• 23:29
  lot of us around this time of year.
• 23:31
  You know we're we're moving into the times of year that are
• 23:35
  dormant things are starting to shut down and go into a rest
• 23:39
  stage and and how that kind of a change or any kind of a change
• 23:44
  that we experience, you know can be can be rough sometimes.
• 23:48
  You know and embracing that change right and allowing that
• 23:56
  process to do what it has to do for us and not really fight it.
• 24:01
  Cuz I think some of us, whenever things don't stay on the same
• 24:08
  course that we're used to and comfortable with any kind of
• 24:11
  change that comes that we don't insight ourselves, it's like
• 24:16
  what is going on? You try to fight it.
• 24:19
  Well, even more so when we come to approaching.
• 24:25
  That transition that we expected to be easy street like Okay.
• 24:30
  I'm making the right choices now.
• 24:32
  No, it's not that simple. Making the right choices, the
• 24:36
  right step in the right direction.
• 24:39
  But it's more often not a painful process for all the
• 24:42
  right reasons of the world. And that's something we have to
• 24:45
  bear in mind. We're making that transition in
• 24:48
  those changes in our lives. For me, for example, like I used
• 24:52
  to drink every freaking night. And now it's periodic and I'm
• 24:57
  and the continuing path and to cutting back on my consumption
• 25:02
  and whatnot, but that's just an example or even more to that
• 25:08
  point is like when I was the opiates whatnot, you know, But
• 25:14
  that was more of a drastic and horse change.
• 25:17
  So anyways, more to the point though, any change we make in
• 25:22
  our lives is not going to be pleasant.
• 25:24
  But it serves a very noble purpose, and that's something we
• 25:27
  have to bear in mind during that process that we face.
• 25:31
  You know, whether it be cutting a toxic friendship or, you know,
• 25:35
  changing our habits in our diet, You know, it's something that
• 25:38
  it's going to be really messed up for a long period of time.
• 25:41
  But we stick through it and stick to it, we'll find
• 25:44
  ourselves in a better place. Yeah.
• 25:48
  And that all change, you know? I mean a lot of change is rough,
• 25:52
  you know what I mean? Especially when it comes to
• 25:53
  lifestyle changes or you know, like you say, you know, severing
• 25:58
  ties. I actually talked a little bit
• 26:00
  about that on a live stream that I did Well at this point when
• 26:07
  this airs it was you know last week but my last live stream I
• 26:11
  was talking about you know when like a relationship.
• 26:17
  You know if you or in my case when it was you know somebody
• 26:24
  who I called my brother you know, and who called me their
• 26:28
  brother and it was like I fought tooth and nail to not you know
• 26:34
  cut that relationship out. I I I tried to preserve and save
• 26:39
  that to the bitter end. You know what I mean?
• 26:44
  And I had to be the one that's like, dude, I can't with you
• 26:48
  anymore. I can't.
• 26:50
  You know, this isn't working. This isn't as long as you're
• 26:55
  doing XI can't. I can't, you know, be with you.
• 26:59
  I can't talk with you. I can't be a part of anything in
• 27:02
  your life as long as you're doing these certain things.
• 27:04
  And man, that was one of the toughest things that I had to
• 27:07
  do. Because again, we had reached
• 27:08
  the point throughout our lives that we established a thing
• 27:12
  between us, you know, a brotherhood, a kinship between
• 27:15
  us. And then I go and I.
• 27:18
  How long have you known this person, by the way?
• 27:20
  I just. I had to ask.
• 27:22
  I mean, I'd say probably about 7-8 years.
• 27:28
  I mean see a little while, you know, I mean we shared ritual
• 27:33
  together. We've done a lot of meaningful
• 27:35
  things together. I mean, again, it was like one
• 27:39
  of those things where I'm like that changed was definitely not
• 27:44
  easy and not something I wanted to go through, but I had to, you
• 27:50
  know? See and.
• 27:53
  I mentioned this a lot when talking about this topic, and I
• 27:55
  hope I didn't cut you off by by any means, but something we we
• 27:59
  face with really meaningful friendships, whether you have
• 28:03
  that friendship for like one year, six months, three years,
• 28:08
  five years in my case, sometimes 15 years plus.
• 28:12
  You're bound to come across some humps and the road you're going
• 28:16
  to come across some shenanigans, malarkey, that you didn't
• 28:20
  expect. And for the most part, it's work
• 28:24
  and our favor. Look with, you know, my friend
• 28:27
  and I, you know we have times we disagree.
• 28:30
  Don't see eye to eye or straight up.
• 28:32
  Yeah, that's normal. We just several times we jump
• 28:35
  and then when time passes and the wounds have healed for the
• 28:40
  most part. We pick up where you left off,
• 28:43
  and that's a a trademark for a really, truly meaningful
• 28:47
  friendship. And take a break.
• 28:50
  You mean like, hey, get some space, right?
• 28:53
  That's not, Yeah. But there are going to be times
• 28:56
  that were pushed to the limit and not the hard day was
• 29:00
  specifically right now. But there are people that come
• 29:05
  to mind when that regard comes. And again, this is not public
• 29:09
  shaming or anything, but just, you know, well ties with this
• 29:13
  whole theme of the podcast. I mean, we're talking about
• 29:15
  things that are unpleasant changes that happen that you
• 29:18
  don't want to have to happen, but they need to happen in order
• 29:22
  for. To grow.
• 29:24
  To grow for. Ourself, but then as a person as
• 29:26
  well, and we, I think we agree with in that regard, is just,
• 29:31
  you know, it may be unpleasant, you may have to cut ties for a
• 29:34
  while, hopefully not permanently, but you know it
• 29:38
  happens the way it happens. You know, on just.
• 29:41
  Again, I've shared that experience too with other people
• 29:44
  as well who are not no longer part of my life.
• 29:47
  And they offered great times within my life, great multiple
• 29:50
  times I wouldn't trade the world for.
• 29:53
  But now in a sense, we're both dead to each other.
• 29:57
  But that's the way it is. You know, I I've had friends.
• 30:01
  Here's a really good example is friends from childhood.
• 30:05
  I wish the hell. That I had, some of the friends
• 30:09
  I had since grade school that would be so meaningful and so
• 30:12
  special. But then there's a lot of things
• 30:15
  we have to take into consideration.
• 30:17
  That other person might have a family.
• 30:19
  Now they have kids. Those are two huge freaking
• 30:22
  things. Those are big changes.
• 30:25
  When you have kids and Dicks, all bets are off, you know?
• 30:27
  I mean, it's all about them. And that's something I feel like
• 30:30
  most of us can appreciate and understand why the person not
• 30:34
  available now on the opposite side of the spectrum.
• 30:37
  There are people who may have habits that are not doing well
• 30:41
  by them and I've been in that situation too.
• 30:45
  So, so many factors and considerations to take into
• 30:48
  account. But also it's I'm trying to get
• 30:50
  back on track of what we're talking about.
• 30:52
  But, you know, transitions and stages that we're going through
• 30:56
  may not always be pleasant and more often not they're not.
• 30:59
  But we have to roll the punches and do the best we can and not
• 31:03
  get too messed up over that. Yeah, and if we fight that
• 31:07
  change, you know, what are we really doing at that point,
• 31:11
  right? You don't want to.
• 31:13
  Why are you trying to? Fight against a wrenching
• 31:17
  current, Yeah. Why are you trying to prevent
• 31:19
  something that just needs to happen?
• 31:21
  You know, rip off the? Band aids and rip it off.
• 31:26
  It's not really take care of it, right?
• 31:29
  You know? And then, you know, there's also
• 31:31
  things like you're talking about like conscious change, you know,
• 31:34
  making decisions in our lives that make, you know, that that
• 31:40
  that are a change, whether it's, you know, how much of A
• 31:43
  substance we're consuming or the type of company that we're
• 31:46
  holding or whatever. It's like you feel, you feel so
• 31:50
  much better, like it's going to suck at first, right?
• 31:52
  Like we. Yeah.
• 31:53
  Like those things are going to be rough.
• 31:55
  And it's going to be a it's going to be a shock to the
• 31:57
  system to now have to go on living or go on existing without
• 32:02
  this thing that or the other. But the reward overall for doing
• 32:06
  it is much better for doing it as if you know in opposition, if
• 32:11
  you were to remain in that toxic relationship or if you were to
• 32:15
  keep going just because, well, I don't want to just, you know, I
• 32:18
  don't want to rattle the cages. Too bad, you know.
• 32:21
  Yeah. And I noticed that like watching
• 32:24
  that video from Mira, you know the way she the character, you
• 32:30
  know what I mean? Like when when she changes from
• 32:32
  this form of herself walking through the desert carrying
• 32:36
  this, this this treasure chest looking thing, right, This boxed
• 32:40
  with the with the with the idol or the OR the little God piece
• 32:44
  or whatever and then changes and transforms into like a spirit
• 32:49
  self like the embracing that that spirituality that or that
• 32:53
  spirit self. It it, it reminds me of like
• 32:58
  what we see in nature a lot of times when you animals shed
• 33:04
  their fur, they mult their feathers, they shed their skin,
• 33:09
  They do these things that are a death in a way, and it's a
• 33:12
  partial death and it's but it's not, you're not gone, you're
• 33:16
  just transitioning, You're changing.
• 33:19
  And it's sometimes painful, but again, what we're talking about
• 33:22
  covering, it's sometimes painful and unpleasant.
• 33:27
  Yeah, it serves a purpose. Deer do the same thing right?
• 33:31
  When they shed their antlers, when the bucks shed their
• 33:34
  antlers, and then look at when they're growing their antlers
• 33:38
  too, right? That velvet that they have on
• 33:43
  their antlers in the spring and summer, they have to get that
• 33:48
  off because it's itching them. I don't know if you knew this,
• 33:51
  but when they should velvet. When that velvet starts coming
• 33:54
  off and they like have to shake their heads on trees and rub
• 33:57
  against trees, it's a relief to them.
• 33:59
  But look at it, it's like a bloody mess.
• 34:01
  All that stuff coming off because it's there's blood
• 34:04
  vessels and stuff in there. So when it starts to shed, it
• 34:07
  becomes really itchy and they have to get it off otherwise, I
• 34:10
  mean, it's coming off anyway, so they gotta do what they gotta
• 34:14
  do. So you see these things
• 34:15
  happening in nature and it looks grotesque.
• 34:17
  It looks just like, again, it looks like this fleshy, bloody
• 34:21
  thing hanging off of their antlers, but after they've shed
• 34:27
  their velvet and their antlers and stuff are all polished, look
• 34:32
  at the beauty that comes out of it.
• 34:34
  You know you have this majestic, really nice looking set of
• 34:38
  antlers on you. And that's a love for
• 34:41
  correlation, too. Is to really you know remind
• 34:45
  ourselves that we're very much part of nature and our earth and
• 34:51
  our creatures that we sure company with we're not so much
• 34:55
  different than we expect. You know these creatures you
• 34:58
  know they have a one track mind it's survival, reproduction,
• 35:03
  what have you. We all share similar plights.
• 35:09
  Be a creature or human, you know.
• 35:12
  And that's something I really admire about this path as well,
• 35:15
  is to give honor and praise and above all, attention and
• 35:22
  awareness to that, to have that love and understanding and why
• 35:29
  we share the path of you and to make associations that are very
• 35:35
  fundamental to our growth and our personality as people.
• 35:38
  And you know what we choose to do?
• 35:42
  Yeah, yeah. We can learn a lot from nature,
• 35:45
  absolutely. Especially with the seasons and
• 35:48
  going back to mirrors, you know, so long, it just, it kind of
• 35:53
  hits a lot of points on that, that transitional period.
• 35:56
  Yeah, the timing of the release was perfect and I'm sure she had
• 36:00
  that in mind, right. Like to release it at that time
• 36:03
  and if she didn't then it's super coincidental.
• 36:04
  But I feel like that was a smart you know I feel like that was a
• 36:10
  really smart move just to put something out like that at that
• 36:14
  time of year when we're we're thinking along those lines, you
• 36:17
  know, but actually was gonna have you listen with me.
• 36:22
  We had a a call come in last week on the podcast and since
• 36:25
  it's coming into the the the topic of embracing change, this
• 36:30
  person who called in is talking about a pretty drastic change
• 36:36
  themselves. So I'm going to start playing it
• 36:42
  and we're going to listen to it. This is not going to say names,
• 36:47
  right? Because I like to keep people's
• 36:49
  identity anonymous for the most part, but we're going to call
• 36:52
  her this is Sigin. OK, so for anybody that's
• 36:55
  listened to the podcast in the past, my episode on Sigin Loki's
• 37:01
  wife, right, I remember. This one?
• 37:03
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So.
• 37:05
  Same person. So they called back.
• 37:09
  We're gonna go ahead and play it.
• 37:17
  Nope. That's not it.
• 37:18
  This is it. Hold on.
• 37:21
  She's got the right idea. Regarding SO I just listened to
• 37:29
  the wiring tagging. That's good Thursday.
• 37:34
  Came out today and I thought I'd call again and ask question and
• 37:42
  maybe an idea for the show because I have this, I have this
• 37:47
  spot. I've been having this spot
• 37:49
  basically for. A while now and.
• 37:53
  Towards the end of this last episode, you guys were talking
• 37:58
  about a time when, like, there's going to be times before.
• 38:03
  You know, right now I'm having one of this time basically.
• 38:11
  I always feel full this time of year and I feel a lot and I'm
• 38:17
  not explaining, but like fall and winter, that's it's my time.
• 38:23
  I'm risk on a pause real quick. So she's referencing the last
• 38:27
  episode with that. You know, why are we Pagans?
• 38:30
  The same the episode you and I did.
• 38:32
  Why are we Pagans? Right.
• 38:34
  And she's talking about a one section of that episode and I
• 38:39
  couldn't quite pick up exactly where.
• 38:41
  But this time of year, she's saying that she generally feels
• 38:44
  full and satiated. You know what I mean?
• 38:49
  As a as a as a general rule, right.
• 38:50
  She feels like she's abundant. There's, you know, no real lack
• 38:55
  of things. But as we're going to about to
• 38:57
  hear it a little bit more, it's a little bit different.
• 39:00
  I'm ready. I'm preparing, prepared, doing
• 39:04
  stuff, staying busy. I don't know, maybe other people
• 39:07
  aren't like that. That's the way I am.
• 39:09
  It's also harder time and minor. But so I feel empty.
• 39:17
  Really, really empty and disconnected and all this these
• 39:23
  feelings and it's probably made worse by.
• 39:28
  My support group facilitator. She recently asked me about my
• 39:38
  past and you know, I could tell that she when I was telling her,
• 39:44
  you know, and she was confused. But she has like a snarkyness
• 39:51
  about her. And she was just really rude,
• 39:55
  disrespectful, confused, all of this.
• 39:58
  I could see it. I've seen it before.
• 40:03
  But I never expected her to have this reaction to my my own
• 40:08
  personal path because, you know, she's a psychologist.
• 40:12
  She is a support for facilitator, she's an advocate.
• 40:17
  I just didn't know she was going to be so well.
• 40:20
  Denying, I guess. We have girls of all sorts of
• 40:25
  faith who come through the support group and she was just
• 40:30
  absolutely disgusting with me and that just hit me at the
• 40:33
  right time and I get what I get. But I've been feeling down in
• 40:39
  the dumps and this lady who I guess I have placed on the
• 40:43
  pedestal has I don't know. Anyway, not feeling too good and
• 40:50
  I've been on this task for 18 years now and it.
• 40:59
  We're gonna get into the second one, but I'm gonna pause there
• 41:01
  because the other half of the message is gonna explain a
• 41:04
  little bit more. But just right off of the rip,
• 41:06
  man, you know, to open up to somebody first of all for them
• 41:13
  to ask and then to respond in such a way that's invalidating
• 41:18
  or not just invalidating, but like.
• 41:20
  Make considerate. Yeah, making you feel like shit
• 41:23
  for it. Like who the hell?
• 41:26
  Like, especially someone of in that line of work in that
• 41:29
  profession. Like, I'm sorry, but how did you
• 41:32
  even get to where you are if you're that way?
• 41:36
  To other people, no God. Damn idea.
• 41:41
  Have you experienced anything like that?
• 41:42
  Have you seen anything like that?
• 41:44
  Because I mean my, my, my initial knee jerk reactions.
• 41:46
  Like, get the hell out of there. I hate to say this, but with the
• 41:52
  company that I work for right now, now the incident that
• 41:56
  occurred, I'll summarize this very quickly.
• 42:00
  But I have an employee that works for us that out of the
• 42:09
  blue grew some kind of thin dead against me.
• 42:12
  And to this day I have no idea where it's stepped from, where
• 42:15
  the roots are. But one day she just came in
• 42:19
  working. Very uncompliant, very, you
• 42:21
  know, rude and disrespectful. I'm like, OK, she's having a bad
• 42:27
  day, whatever. But then here's where the Long
• 42:32
  story short comes into place. She expressed her
• 42:37
  dissatisfaction and hate towards me.
• 42:40
  Not dislike, but hate towards me.
• 42:42
  And then there's a conversation that was being had.
• 42:47
  Between my general manager and then should be a system manager,
• 42:54
  but a Co manager, she's cool. That's the other manager.
• 42:58
  But and then Rory, Rory, the employee was listening to a
• 43:05
  conversation that my GM and my should be assistant were having.
• 43:09
  There's talk about that. I was going to have some time
• 43:11
  off to see how long in Chesterfield.
• 43:16
  And then, you know, she's listening to this conversation
• 43:19
  and she goes, I hope he dies. What?
• 43:24
  Yeah, my reaction exactly. My where's this coming from?
• 43:30
  What's happening? But more to the point though,
• 43:35
  now my cool manager, he should be assistant.
• 43:40
  She's like, she speaks on my back. her and I, we've worked
• 43:43
  with each other for over 4 years.
• 43:46
  I appreciate her death. She's a wonderful person and
• 43:49
  work for human being. We're friends off of work.
• 43:52
  But anyways, she goes. That's messed up.
• 43:56
  You shouldn't say stuff like that.
• 43:58
  You shouldn't wish death at anyone unless it's something
• 44:02
  rightly warranted. Well, yeah, but also the fact
• 44:05
  that, I mean, like, that's a HR case in the making.
• 44:09
  You know. The point here's what's messed
• 44:12
  up about my company right now. Again, I'm not going to make the
• 44:14
  tangent as well as well as it wants to, but I'm anyways my
• 44:18
  gym. Her reaction during this
• 44:21
  exchange is like She grinned. Not enough polite grim, but a
• 44:26
  messed up girl like oh I I this is entertaining and that was
• 44:31
  that. Nothing was that about it.
• 44:33
  But here's the messed up part. My should be assistant.
• 44:38
  I don't want to mention names to respect her privacy.
• 44:41
  I mention one name is here or there, but so my GM has a friend
• 44:50
  in the HR department, so any issues with her?
• 44:57
  All right, that sucks. Sorry, you're dealing with that.
• 45:01
  We don't care. It's basically what the vibe
• 45:03
  we're getting off of. But the fact that she didn't
• 45:07
  defend me like. The other one did my my friend
• 45:11
  and messed me up for a long time and I've gotten over it and
• 45:16
  unfortunately I'm in the time of year.
• 45:20
  And so you might relate though, we're in that time of year right
• 45:22
  now, we can't afford to change jobs because we have certain
• 45:28
  obligations and holidays that are upcoming.
• 45:33
  That would be a pretty catastrophic change.
• 45:35
  Exactly, we have. I have special trips, Jess.
• 45:40
  You might know one of them, but our both of them actually.
• 45:43
  But right. I'm not in that position to root
• 45:48
  myself somewhere and follow. Yeah, a company that could
• 45:52
  appreciate me for me. But also I've been with this
• 45:55
  company for over 6 years now, about six years now.
• 45:58
  My anniversary happened a few weeks ago, but congratulations.
• 46:03
  Thank you. I appreciate that.
• 46:04
  This company, for the most part, is great.
• 46:08
  And I've become very complacent and almost to a fall where I
• 46:14
  don't really see my true worth anymore.
• 46:16
  But also it's time to make that change.
• 46:19
  But now it's not that time. And I try my best to follow my
• 46:24
  tuition and follow my gut. Like, you know what?
• 46:27
  Let's get past all the holidays. I don't know all.
• 46:30
  Most of us are heathens and pagans, whatever path we choose
• 46:34
  to follow. But.
• 46:35
  We know where we're coming from. You know where I'm coming from?
• 46:38
  It's through, yeah, you have Christmas.
• 46:41
  We have to take care of gifts and then making travel expenses
• 46:45
  to see our set relatives and whatnot.
• 46:48
  It's a whole big thing. So right now it's the worst time
• 46:52
  in my opinion. I'm a lot, I'm sure a lot of you
• 46:54
  could agree, but the worst time to change jobs is for this
• 46:59
  period. Yeah, I would have a stable set
• 47:03
  income and that's what I'm relying on.
• 47:06
  But come when New Year's comes around.
• 47:09
  Oh yeah, I'm excited to say one day like, hey, I found a new
• 47:13
  job. But also at the same time though
• 47:16
  Friday's I work Friday's frozen custard and steak burgers and he
• 47:19
  was just interested and curious to know where I work.
• 47:22
  I'm a manager. I start with the company right
• 47:26
  around the time, but my peak and my addiction with opiates and
• 47:30
  then I had a car accident. And then?
• 47:32
  Changed my personality, my persona, my, my, you know,
• 47:36
  overall, you know, work ethic and did the best I could.
• 47:40
  And then I got promoted to a crew trainer and then a year
• 47:43
  after that became a manager. Now when I became a manager, I'm
• 47:46
  sorry, I'm not a tangent now, but when I became a manager, I
• 47:50
  did not seek this position. It was awkward to me.
• 47:54
  I'm like, OK, well, I'm going to seize this opportunity.
• 47:57
  I'm going to make the best of it.
• 47:58
  But now I'm at the point. Now I'm like OK.
• 48:00
  Is cool, is good, is great at some very necessary life
• 48:05
  lessons. But now it's time to approach
• 48:08
  one proper the change. Yeah, I mean stuff like jobs.
• 48:12
  I mean, you know, if you're looking to change a career, I
• 48:14
  mean you got to be tactical about it.
• 48:17
  But with with something like this, you know, where clearly
• 48:21
  what Sagan's talking about is a a therapy, you know?
• 48:29
  Session, you know or group therapy, right?
• 48:31
  Going to a place which should be a safe space for all the
• 48:35
  participants and going there and not feeling safe because you've
• 48:40
  been attacked by the person who you should feel the safest with
• 48:44
  the facilitator, the psychologist, whatever you know.
• 48:49
  And when opening up and talking about something personal, right,
• 48:53
  your religious or spiritual beliefs and practices get made
• 48:56
  to feel that as if you're. Silly or or just disrespect it
• 49:02
  over it. I'm gonna play the second-half
• 49:04
  of it so we can hear more of the context better.
• 49:07
  Okay. I promise you, I ain't sending
• 49:08
  me no 12 messages. I do respect your turn and thank
• 49:14
  you for listening. I'll just real quick singing,
• 49:18
  It's no big deal. You can call and leave as many
• 49:21
  messages as you want that you feel you need to, or anybody for
• 49:23
  that matter. And I'll do my best to trim them
• 49:27
  out, put them in. Keep stuff that's relevant in
• 49:30
  here, but it's all good. So basically this person who I
• 49:36
  respect the whole lot, I saw a different side of her ended.
• 49:41
  I was already not feeling good. I was feeling kind of busy.
• 49:44
  And now I'm just feeling busy, I guess because today is going to
• 49:48
  be my last day in this group. I am no longer going to be a
• 49:51
  pushover. I'm going to stand up for myself
• 49:53
  and I'm going to just let her know it's not really for me.
• 50:01
  I it would be for me if it was a little bit more accepting of
• 50:07
  other views and I don't think that's healthy.
• 50:10
  So I'm just going to back out and I'm going to just be nice
• 50:12
  and all that and it is what it is.
• 50:16
  So I have never really talked to other people about what can you
• 50:21
  do when I'm. Just going to pause real quick
• 50:25
  on that one because you know. Getting out of something like
• 50:28
  that where you don't feel accepted and say, I mean again
• 50:32
  in context, right, a place like what she's describing, that
• 50:36
  should absolutely be a place that you don't feel invalidated.
• 50:40
  I think that part of therapy can sometimes involve being
• 50:44
  challenged with yourself, right? Like I think part of, and I'm no
• 50:48
  expert, you know. So please anybody listening
• 50:50
  watching it, you know I don't claim to know anything about.
• 50:55
  Psychology or psychiatrist that, you know, learning.
• 51:01
  But what I'm trying to say is, is that I think sometimes part
• 51:04
  of the healing process does include getting pretty visceral
• 51:08
  and and and putting up this challenge against ourselves.
• 51:12
  You know and and and it's like you got to face this thing.
• 51:15
  I don't think that you should be feeling unsafe or that you
• 51:19
  shouldn't feel accepted in the process.
• 51:21
  I think it should be done. Delicately, carefully.
• 51:28
  But you know you might not saying you specifically singing
• 51:32
  or anybody but like just you know we might be kind of up in
• 51:35
  our own heads too much thinking that everything we're doing is
• 51:38
  is the way it ought to be. And there might be things about
• 51:42
  what we're doing at any given point in time that are toxic and
• 51:45
  that we just we need to, we need to be presented with that and we
• 51:49
  need to confront that and we need to to see about the change.
• 51:52
  I don't think that this is. Applicable.
• 51:55
  I don't think that what she's describing here is what's
• 51:57
  happened just from what little we know, right?
• 52:00
  I think that she was just talking about what she believes
• 52:02
  in. And then this other person's
• 52:03
  like, you do what now and then anyway, I.
• 52:07
  Mentioned something really quick here.
• 52:08
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 52:09
  Please. I'm not sure she's a part of my
• 52:12
  group, but we'll let her know. I'm assuming she's watching, but
• 52:18
  if you're not part of my mental health awareness group, I'd love
• 52:21
  to have you here. I have some really great admins
• 52:24
  and moderate moderators part of my group and I strive and
• 52:29
  continue to to make my Group A safe space.
• 52:33
  Now it's arduous, approving and disapproving members joining
• 52:37
  without answering the security questions What not.
• 52:40
  But also I'm pretty liberal when people share posts or
• 52:45
  experiences for the most part. But also you know.
• 52:49
  More to the meat and potatoes of that though, You know when you
• 52:52
  join my group and your approved share which will with the best
• 52:56
  intentions and just be the person you are now, I'm not ever
• 53:00
  going to be in a position to judge anyone on their their
• 53:04
  beliefs and what they choose to follow.
• 53:06
  You're part of the group and you agree to the rules and respect
• 53:09
  the message. You're more than welcome to
• 53:12
  share your applies to your victories and everything you
• 53:14
  have to offer, and that's what a group should be about.
• 53:18
  Not taking a personal stance and their ego to judge someone
• 53:24
  during their affliction or seeing something they observed
• 53:27
  that they don't approve of. Because I've been in that
• 53:30
  position before, like some people share stuff and like,
• 53:32
  it's relatable, but I don't agree with, but I'm like, hey,
• 53:35
  you know what? This might reach someone who
• 53:37
  needs to hear this or needs to see this.
• 53:39
  And that's why I generally, like I said liberal about that kind
• 53:43
  of stuff, but that's really crappy what you're going
• 53:47
  through. And I'm sorry that you're going
• 53:50
  through that, but know that there are people, there are
• 53:53
  individuals who have your back. This guy, sorry, this guy over
• 53:58
  here. I've been following up for a few
• 54:02
  years now. But you're a great company.
• 54:06
  I'm very happy to have you part of this podcast and know that
• 54:09
  you you are supported. You are loved and appreciated.
• 54:12
  Thank. You I want to say it's like in
• 54:17
  Christianity I think they call it like a I can't remember it's
• 54:21
  not in the face you know you're just you're not feeling it you
• 54:24
  know you got questions I'm not questioning I I'm for certain I
• 54:30
  you know it I I'm not questioning my face I just feel
• 54:36
  so empty or so alone I don't know what it is So I I'm
• 54:43
  guessing I'm going to take this past actively see people like my
• 54:48
  people so I've been thinking about that for a while I think
• 54:58
  it's time I like turn to rip off the Band-Aid and stop being so
• 55:01
  free. Rip off the Band-Aid.
• 55:04
  But yeah, I have no reason. So yeah, what do you do?
• 55:10
  Because so far I've just been like grounding, you know?
• 55:15
  I walk 10 miles a day. Sometimes I walk seven.
• 55:18
  I have been doing this with not all, not all the time, but
• 55:24
  sometimes it's it. I can't explain to you the
• 55:26
  happiness I feel when I go running without shoes.
• 55:30
  I am a pure human being of planet Earth.
• 55:34
  I don't know how to explain it. That's feeling.
• 55:36
  I get it. That's what I got so far.
• 55:41
  But I can't. My my legs are hurting.
• 55:43
  I don't. I'm kind of also just wanting to
• 55:46
  find healthier ways to find happiness, I guess.
• 55:53
  Or not feel so alone. I don't know.
• 55:56
  I feel crazy now. So I'll go bye.
• 55:59
  Not crazy. At all.
• 56:04
  Not crazy at all. More to the point, normal.
• 56:08
  We all feel this way. And a lot of times, you know the
• 56:11
  fact that she's brought to this point to question things, I just
• 56:14
  badass. I just.
• 56:15
  Really cool. She found herself in that
• 56:17
  position. Like, you know what?
• 56:19
  It was cool for a while, but now it's time to move on.
• 56:22
  And hey, seriously, my point, it's not easy.
• 56:27
  It's very daunting of a task to really challenge your
• 56:30
  expectations and to challenge the people or some people.
• 56:36
  And it's surrounding you. There's nothing wrong with that.
• 56:38
  They've been crazy about that. I have nothing but respect and
• 56:40
  reference for your position, but also support all the while.
• 56:45
  Yeah, absolutely. So thank you Sagan for calling
• 56:48
  in and and and first of all opening up you know and talking
• 56:51
  about something that is weighing heavy on you and and raising a
• 56:56
  really good question. You know, she mentioned along
• 56:58
  the call there about, you know, what do you do?
• 57:04
  I think the I think what you were maybe trying to to refer to
• 57:08
  Sagan is crisis of faith. You're talking about Christians
• 57:12
  have this thing something of faith maybe crisis of faith.
• 57:16
  And I know you said you weren't questioning your faith.
• 57:18
  You're not in denial your sound and your solid in your beliefs.
• 57:23
  But so I don't think that that yeah going to your people,
• 57:27
  right. You talk about leaving this
• 57:30
  group therapy that is kind of not doing.
• 57:33
  Anything good for you because of the attacks that you were felt
• 57:37
  were made towards you and going back to talking with your people
• 57:41
  and that you're talking about feeling alone and trying to find
• 57:44
  ways to heal through this time where you should normally be
• 57:47
  feeling enriched and fulfilled. You know, you talked about going
• 57:50
  on barefoot runs and go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
• 57:55
  This time of year. This, this transitional time of
• 57:57
  year is not about go, go, go, go, go.
• 57:59
  We've already been going, going, going right now.
• 58:02
  We're in this transitional this change this time of year that's
• 58:05
  about slow down let's rest let's store let's re recharge, right
• 58:12
  let's let's rest. And I think you know one of the
• 58:17
  one of the things that we are often times we find ourselves
• 58:22
  doing is staying in that perpetual motion to.
• 58:29
  Heal, right? I gotta be doing this.
• 58:31
  I gotta be doing that. Maybe you just need to stop,
• 58:34
  pause, rest, regroup, collect, recharge, get with your people,
• 58:41
  Be nurtured from your people, right.
• 58:44
  Lean on your people, let them alleviate some of those things
• 58:49
  and then cuz they know what you're going through, right?
• 58:52
  They know your beliefs. There's that commonality there.
• 58:54
  There's that like, mindedness. Exact, don't forget.
• 58:58
  Forget the people, Forget the people.
• 59:03
  Pay more mind and appreciation. Not saying you haven't already,
• 59:08
  but focus your attention on those.
• 59:10
  You can count on the sheer bets, the people you know, your
• 59:15
  people, us. And it's a great reference.
• 59:19
  I'm just saying we are these two creative buckers here.
• 59:25
  Justin Patrick. We've been in that position too,
• 59:31
  and there's nothing wrong with the way you're feeling.
• 59:33
  And again, I'm proud of you for coming this far and sharing your
• 59:37
  struggles and your replies. I've been in the same position
• 59:39
  too, you know, It's totally cool to feel that way and it could be
• 59:45
  overwhelming. Please don't lose sight during
• 59:47
  those messed up times. Like, Oh my God, all these
• 59:51
  people are against me. No, not the case at all.
• 59:56
  Not the point at all. There are great people.
• 59:58
  Not only great people, but more importantly or as important,
• 1:00:02
  great horses and great gangs. Be it the gods, our limits here,
• 1:00:07
  our hospital here, those people we come across at a grocery
• 1:00:12
  store, they exchange a warm smile when they're having a
• 1:00:15
  rough day. Or people that just let you
• 1:00:19
  know. The random They're never people
• 1:00:21
  you know in person, but they just share glance.
• 1:00:26
  And at that moment, you you probably need it like, hey, you
• 1:00:28
  what? It's not all messed up.
• 1:00:31
  There is hope. We can't lose sight of that
• 1:00:35
  hope, no matter how messed up things get.
• 1:00:38
  We need to drown ourselves. And again to Mira's video.
• 1:00:44
  I think that's the sound basis of that giving thanks and also
• 1:00:48
  grounding ourselves to counting on what we can count on and give
• 1:00:53
  thanks and praise to what risk got us this far, as well as
• 1:00:57
  struggles. Struggles are well and good, but
• 1:00:59
  the support and the the the momentum that we carry through
• 1:01:03
  our daily practices and what we follow, what we choose to do is
• 1:01:07
  fundamental to continuing this what we do.
• 1:01:13
  Yeah, and I'm glad you brought the the video back up too,
• 1:01:15
  because I I keep reflecting on what I saw when I watched that
• 1:01:18
  video, right? There were moments I don't know
• 1:01:20
  if you caught. During that video where when
• 1:01:23
  she's experiencing what she's experiencing, there are
• 1:01:27
  expressions on her face that really capture this essence of
• 1:01:35
  what do you call that, like disorientation, Like where am I?
• 1:01:38
  What's going on? And that happens when we
• 1:01:41
  transition. That happens because we're
• 1:01:44
  moving into this next stage. We're moving into a different.
• 1:01:47
  Awareness, a different stage of our existence, right.
• 1:01:51
  And it's a shock to the system. So you're going to be kind of
• 1:01:53
  disoriented. It's going to be this like, what
• 1:01:55
  the heck is going on here, right?
• 1:01:58
  And yeah, sure, like there may be a theme with the with the
• 1:02:01
  music video specifically, but I loved that visually speaking.
• 1:02:08
  That's what was captured the essence of when change happens,
• 1:02:12
  it's a shock to to the system. You're going to be leaving this.
• 1:02:17
  Group, right. This group therapy, like you're
• 1:02:18
  going to be leaving it. You've been going to this for
• 1:02:20
  however long, and then next thing you know that you're not
• 1:02:23
  going to have that. And so maybe subconsciously
• 1:02:26
  that's going to be something that bothers you or that you
• 1:02:28
  feel somehow empty because of maybe it just hasn't been
• 1:02:34
  enriching to you for this whole time.
• 1:02:36
  And maybe that's why you're feeling so empty.
• 1:02:38
  It's like, I'm going to this thing, but I'm not getting
• 1:02:40
  anything out of it. I don't know.
• 1:02:41
  I'm just here. What's that?
• 1:02:45
  We're brought to a point of awareness that we didn't really
• 1:02:48
  foresee or expect the universe. I feel like in a way, for her
• 1:02:52
  sake and you know, the universe is like, hey, you're not in the
• 1:02:57
  right place. Let's give you an example and
• 1:03:00
  the reason why I have to feel this way.
• 1:03:02
  And while that reason is painful, it's necessary.
• 1:03:06
  Again, sorry for interrupting. Yeah, no, no, you're right cuz
• 1:03:09
  you know, and. Always having this idea of of
• 1:03:13
  like I gotta and there's there's there's like so many contrasts
• 1:03:17
  that you can think of, right? I've known people who feel empty
• 1:03:23
  feel like they are not connected in a way because they aren't
• 1:03:28
  doing anything, but because they're staying still, right?
• 1:03:31
  You, you you talk to those people, or at least I have, and
• 1:03:34
  you talk to those people and it's like, well, it's no wonder
• 1:03:37
  you feel. Malnourished.
• 1:03:40
  Because you're not engaging with anyone else to help nourish you.
• 1:03:44
  You're not doing anything. You're remaining stagnant.
• 1:03:47
  And then here we have an example, perhaps, of somebody
• 1:03:50
  who is always going, always on the go, always trying to do
• 1:03:55
  things, and it's the opposite, right?
• 1:03:59
  Well, maybe you need to pause, maybe you need to stop, maybe
• 1:04:01
  need to slow down, Maybe you need to, yes, be grounded in
• 1:04:03
  your movement. But but stop for a minute.
• 1:04:07
  Establish some roots, right? Recharge, regroup.
• 1:04:10
  Don't don't be so caught up in that perpetual motion, cuz you
• 1:04:13
  know, everything has a time, everything has a place,
• 1:04:17
  everything has a season. And this time of the year, this
• 1:04:19
  season, this transitional time of the year, is not about rapid
• 1:04:23
  movement. It's not about all of that.
• 1:04:25
  It's about slowing down. It's about pausing and taking a
• 1:04:29
  rest. And so maybe that's something to
• 1:04:31
  consider too. Right.
• 1:04:32
  Take into account what led us to this position, for better and
• 1:04:36
  for worse. You know, we've made, I feel
• 1:04:39
  like all of us make great strides and great
• 1:04:42
  accomplishments, but at the same time we're still lingering all
• 1:04:46
  the things that could have been and what should have been.
• 1:04:50
  But right, I'm here. That's another here or there.
• 1:04:53
  We are who we are right now and trying to make the best fit and
• 1:04:59
  make best of. Ourselves.
• 1:05:01
  Yes, that's it. That's the easy thing to fall
• 1:05:04
  victim to, right? Being caught up in the woulda,
• 1:05:07
  coulda, shoulda, Oh, awesome. Referring you comparing yourself
• 1:05:14
  to someone else's successes and hardships, that's a horrible
• 1:05:18
  mistake I've made in my life, especially with my brother.
• 1:05:22
  You know, he, he's a surgeon and I'm just some random asshole who
• 1:05:26
  works as a manager at a fast food restaurant.
• 1:05:29
  That's my, you know, and our dialogue speaking.
• 1:05:31
  But now you know that doesn't matter.
• 1:05:35
  What matters is our actions and what we do with set.
• 1:05:39
  You know, setbacks and victories.
• 1:05:41
  You know it's what we do that matters, not what we should have
• 1:05:46
  been or could have been, be you. And for the best reasons.
• 1:05:52
  Well, the things that happened already, I mean, you know, it's
• 1:05:55
  like you can go back and change it.
• 1:05:56
  I mean, it is what it is. No you can't.
• 1:05:58
  You know, so you do what you do now to be better for that.
• 1:06:01
  And I'm also kind of sensitive to something that I've seen a
• 1:06:05
  lot of people do and I've I think I talked about this either
• 1:06:10
  on a live stream or in the last podcast.
• 1:06:13
  But the self deprecation, you know it's it's you know and
• 1:06:21
  Patrick, I know. Like, I know you didn't mean
• 1:06:23
  anything by this, but you know I'm just some random asshole
• 1:06:26
  that works. So this, that, and the other.
• 1:06:28
  No, you're not. You're awesome.
• 1:06:30
  You know what I mean? Don't tell yourself things like
• 1:06:32
  that. And I have to keep telling
• 1:06:33
  myself that too, right? But the people listening, the
• 1:06:36
  people watching, you're you don't your body yourself, right?
• 1:06:43
  Who you are, your actual your true self doesn't know the
• 1:06:48
  difference between you. Talking shit about yourself
• 1:06:52
  versus anybody else. Talking shit about you.
• 1:06:54
  It's negativity that's being fed to you, whether it's from
• 1:06:58
  somebody else or whether it's from yourself.
• 1:07:01
  And you're gonna react to that. Your system is gonna react to
• 1:07:05
  that kind of energy regardless of where it comes from.
• 1:07:09
  I think Bruce Lee said something along those lines, right?
• 1:07:11
  Like, don't talk shit about yourself, because you don't.
• 1:07:13
  Yourself doesn't know the difference of where it comes
• 1:07:16
  from. It's you know better.
• 1:07:17
  It doesn't know better from a joke, from actually a point of
• 1:07:19
  reference. Right.
• 1:07:21
  You know, and I get it like again, the whole self
• 1:07:24
  deprecation thing, like I I'm I'm the first person in the
• 1:07:29
  world to make fun of myself to you know do all of those types
• 1:07:33
  of things. Because I, you know, it just is
• 1:07:37
  how I've been. But I've but I've really gotten
• 1:07:40
  to reflect on that and try to change that with myself, because
• 1:07:47
  again. What would be the difference?
• 1:07:51
  If somebody else were to say those things to me, I would
• 1:07:55
  react in a much different way. Is it important how that works
• 1:07:58
  though? It is, right?
• 1:08:01
  Well, fuck you too. I'm sorry.
• 1:08:03
  Forget you too. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 1:08:12
  You get on the defense. When people say things about you
• 1:08:16
  that you, in the same breath, will turn around and say about.
• 1:08:21
  Right. And it's like, yeah, I'm some
• 1:08:23
  asshole. No, you're not, man.
• 1:08:25
  And I wouldn't. I would never.
• 1:08:26
  First of all, if anybody were to call you some asshole and I was
• 1:08:29
  in the same room with them, they'd have to deal with me too.
• 1:08:32
  Because I'm like, look, man, you just look, you don't talk to my
• 1:08:35
  friend that way. You don't.
• 1:08:36
  Part of the part of the dark screen here I'm dispensing to
• 1:08:39
  find my work clothes here. Sorry.
• 1:08:41
  That's all good but it's like if you're if you're talking and
• 1:08:43
  it's a joke I mean I guess you know there's the whole like in
• 1:08:46
  the Norse in in in Norse beliefs and stuff you got flighting
• 1:08:52
  which is basically like walking smack to one another but it more
• 1:08:55
  of like a jester or or fun or games right sort of thing.
• 1:08:59
  And so I, you know, but I don't know, man.
• 1:09:02
  Like, I don't know. I think that if we're, if we're
• 1:09:05
  constantly or repeatedly bashing ourselves.
• 1:09:09
  Yeah, then. We're going to eventually get to
• 1:09:12
  a point where, whether we want to or not, we're going to
• 1:09:13
  believe that has become normal. And we're going to be.
• 1:09:16
  We should not make normal. We should make appreciate
• 1:09:19
  ourselves more, you know, day-to-day.
• 1:09:22
  But this, that's in a perfect world.
• 1:09:25
  We live in a perfect world in a perfect society.
• 1:09:28
  And what's important, though, again, pardon my you know.
• 1:09:32
  No, don't Pardon that I am who I am.
• 1:09:35
  See, here I am. During this green live stream.
• 1:09:38
  I'm finding myself in that position too, and that's
• 1:09:40
  something I find very beautiful about me and Jesse and all my
• 1:09:44
  tribe members. High long and all high long
• 1:09:47
  topic. We all share the same place.
• 1:09:50
  We all. Well, Patrick just dropped.
• 1:09:56
  Give us a moment folks. Take a break.
• 1:09:58
  We'll be right back, hear a word from our sponsors, listen to a
• 1:10:03
  song or something like that and we will back.
• 1:10:06
  We will be back here momentarily once Patrick.
• 1:10:09
  Comes back on. We'll be back here shortly.
• 1:14:04
  All right folks, we are back. What's up, man?
• 1:14:07
  Hey. Back in the saddle again,
• 1:14:14
  technical things man, but no where we did leave off the self
• 1:14:18
  deprecation. You know the joking, the.
• 1:14:21
  And look like I've talked to you about this stuff in the past and
• 1:14:24
  and yours apologies for this. I'm like first of all stop that
• 1:14:30
  right. You got nothing to apologize for
• 1:14:34
  and and and but I get it right. We we understand where we we
• 1:14:39
  come from when we say things like that.
• 1:14:40
  We want to be respectful. We want to indicate like, hey,
• 1:14:43
  you know, this was an intentional a lot, but man, I
• 1:14:47
  just, I want people to. I know that, yeah, sure, there
• 1:14:52
  are things about ourselves that we can change, We can work on,
• 1:14:56
  we can improve on. But like and singing too, right?
• 1:15:02
  She's like, I'm sounding crazy. I'm like, no, no.
• 1:15:06
  And I think you even said too, right?
• 1:15:07
  Like, not at all. Not crazy, right?
• 1:15:09
  Like, let's let's stop that right there.
• 1:15:13
  You know, let's put the kibosh on there.
• 1:15:15
  What about what we do, though? We all find ourselves in those
• 1:15:19
  messed up for predicaments, but we have those amazing people
• 1:15:24
  that, hey, by the way, you're getting carried away here, so
• 1:15:29
  boop, boop, boop, here you go. That's where you need to be.
• 1:15:34
  Well, it's that. I think it's that gentle nudge.
• 1:15:37
  It's that tough love sometimes if needed.
• 1:15:39
  But it's that. Let's get you back on course
• 1:15:41
  here, man. Let's get you back on track.
• 1:15:45
  You're you're kind of going off into the weeds here.
• 1:15:47
  You're you're you're taking this a little in in in a direction
• 1:15:50
  that's not going to be constructive for us, for you,
• 1:15:53
  for them, for right. And so hey, let me reel you back
• 1:15:56
  in, right. I used to ride horses and I know
• 1:16:02
  that sounds random, but I'm mentioning it for a specific
• 1:16:05
  reason. I used to.
• 1:16:05
  I used to ride horses and one of the things about riding a horse,
• 1:16:12
  especially in like. The natural landscape, like if
• 1:16:16
  you're going on a trail ride or something, is that their
• 1:16:21
  attention gets diverted pretty easily.
• 1:16:25
  You know, they'll get spooked by something, they'll hear
• 1:16:28
  something, they'll and they're going to go that right.
• 1:16:31
  Well, guess what? I'm the writer.
• 1:16:32
  I'm the one controlling the show here.
• 1:16:34
  You got to listen to what I'm saying.
• 1:16:36
  So in a in a similar sort of way, right when when we're with
• 1:16:40
  our people, when we're with. The folks that know us right.
• 1:16:45
  Part of that responsibility that I feel we have to each other is
• 1:16:48
  to keep each other from going off the trail and chasing a
• 1:16:52
  rabbit. You know what I mean?
• 1:16:54
  Hey, get back. Really back in.
• 1:16:56
  Let's stay on, stay on point here.
• 1:16:59
  It's okay to explore, but if we're going too far off into the
• 1:17:02
  weeds and and and it becomes too treacherous like before we get
• 1:17:07
  to that point, give ourselves a good yank back into the.
• 1:17:12
  You know, into where we need to be here.
• 1:17:14
  So, so easy to fall into those snares too.
• 1:17:18
  Especially when you're having a bad day, you can't help be
• 1:17:20
  consumed or neither a bad day, just a bad encounter.
• 1:17:25
  There might be something to you that just sticks to you.
• 1:17:28
  Like me personally, I had something like that happened
• 1:17:31
  recently and like I want to shake it off.
• 1:17:34
  I want to just forget about it. But then all the same part of
• 1:17:37
  myself is like, yeah, that was really crappy, but it served the
• 1:17:44
  purpose. Pleasant or not.
• 1:17:48
  You know, I wish every experience could be like Mira's
• 1:17:51
  newest, you know, video release or listening to some great
• 1:17:55
  friends sound advice or spending time about spending time with
• 1:18:04
  Birds of prey at a run fair. I mean, that's something.
• 1:18:08
  Me personally, I'm still really back from, I mean, you know,
• 1:18:12
  going back to the Autumn Equinox and appreciating what we have
• 1:18:18
  and, you know, give me face for special moments.
• 1:18:22
  And the most important thing about those moments and those
• 1:18:26
  times we strive for, it's never, never forced.
• 1:18:29
  It's something that's organic. It happens when it needs to
• 1:18:33
  happen. You know, if we can't, we can't.
• 1:18:38
  Yes, me and you. We've had this discussion
• 1:18:40
  multiple times and it's a very worthy topic, worth mentioning
• 1:18:44
  several times because we need that reminder.
• 1:18:47
  Hey, you know what? You might be getting carry
• 1:18:49
  weight Or hey, you what? These are messed up right now.
• 1:18:52
  But there are some lights at the end of the tunnel.
• 1:18:56
  There are beacons of hope. And they're saying that, you
• 1:18:59
  know, hey, you know, you're you're going through a messed up
• 1:19:02
  time, but you're not lost. You're so very much present.
• 1:19:09
  Yeah, like, those are lessons, right?
• 1:19:12
  They they can be, they can be shocking.
• 1:19:15
  They can be. Like those moments can really we
• 1:19:19
  can. We can become so absorbed in the
• 1:19:21
  moment that we lose sight of the bigger picture.
• 1:19:25
  It's easy to to to to have that happen, you know what I mean?
• 1:19:30
  Somebody likes singing or whoever.
• 1:19:32
  I'm just, you know. I'm feeling like I'm so
• 1:19:36
  disconnected. I'm so empty.
• 1:19:38
  You know, what can I do? What do I do?
• 1:19:40
  I'm just going to keep running, man.
• 1:19:42
  I'm just going to keep moving because that's what you're so
• 1:19:45
  familiar with. That's what you're so in tune
• 1:19:47
  with. Like, that's just what I've been
• 1:19:48
  doing that. So that's what I'm going to
• 1:19:49
  continue to do. Well, we're already talking now
• 1:19:52
  about you changing your approach to the group that you're with
• 1:19:56
  and and and removing yourself from that.
• 1:19:58
  So that's a pretty drastic change.
• 1:20:00
  And now, you know, there's this talk of, well, what do I do?
• 1:20:03
  To kind of help heal this feeling of emptiness that I have
• 1:20:07
  And so now we're entertaining ideas of instead of moving so
• 1:20:11
  much give yourself a break and pause and stop right A lot of
• 1:20:14
  change a lot of drastic transitional moments that you
• 1:20:22
  know again quite honestly if you're if all you're absorbed is
• 1:20:27
  what's happening in the moment we lose sight.
• 1:20:29
  It clouds your vision to see past what's right in front of
• 1:20:34
  you. It's kind of like, like, you
• 1:20:36
  know, you remember when you used to, like you remember as a kid
• 1:20:39
  or teenager, whenever you learned how to drive.
• 1:20:43
  Yeah, you remember that. I remember one of the things
• 1:20:47
  that I was taught about driving is you don't look at the road in
• 1:20:51
  front of you, like in front of your nose.
• 1:20:54
  You don't look at the road in front of your vehicle.
• 1:20:58
  You look past it. You look beyond it.
• 1:21:00
  You look ahead of it because you got to see everything.
• 1:21:03
  You got to see what's going on. You got to have that awareness
• 1:21:08
  of everything else that's going on, right the.
• 1:21:11
  Rear view is front view. Yeah, You know, and I think we
• 1:21:16
  can, we can take that lesson. We can take that analogy and
• 1:21:19
  apply it to stuff like this too. If all we're seeing is what's in
• 1:21:23
  front of us in the moment, we're blinded to the bigger picture.
• 1:21:27
  We're blinded to the path that's in front of us and where we're
• 1:21:29
  going because we're so focused and so enamored with what's
• 1:21:33
  happening right in front of our feet.
• 1:21:35
  And more often than not, though, we have that potential support
• 1:21:39
  that we often lose sight of. Like, oh, I'm so lost and so
• 1:21:44
  messed up. I'm so useless.
• 1:21:46
  No, no, no, no, no. You may feel that way.
• 1:21:49
  But Felix, not always a clear cut indication what you're
• 1:21:54
  actually going through. It's OK to feel the way you
• 1:21:56
  feel, but don't let this find you.
• 1:21:58
  And I hate saying that too, because I am more of not fall
• 1:22:01
  victim to that very same thing. It's just we need a reminder,
• 1:22:06
  several reminders. Honestly, we need all the
• 1:22:08
  reminders we can take, you know? Yeah, you know, and I mean,
• 1:22:13
  look, maybe maybe in reality, because I like to, I like to
• 1:22:18
  look at the big picture, right? You know, maybe we are lost in
• 1:22:22
  that moment. Maybe we are off of the path.
• 1:22:24
  Maybe we found ourselves following this rabbit hole that
• 1:22:27
  we are having a hard time getting ourselves out of, And we
• 1:22:35
  need our we need our people. That's where I go back to with
• 1:22:39
  Heathenry, especially like the tribe construct the tribal
• 1:22:46
  mentality, right? Your people rely on you, and you
• 1:22:50
  rely on your people. If you're just out here skating
• 1:22:52
  along, doing your own thing by yourself.
• 1:22:54
  Isolated, right? Not really.
• 1:22:57
  Having it, having the tribe, having a group, having a
• 1:22:59
  collective to go back to then, yeah, absolutely.
• 1:23:03
  You will get lost. And then it's good luck,
• 1:23:06
  Charlie. You know, hope you find your way
• 1:23:09
  back. And if you don't, oh, well.
• 1:23:12
  But if you have that group, if you have that tribe, you have
• 1:23:14
  that family extension to fall back on, then they can be like,
• 1:23:19
  well, where did Patrick go? Oh, he went off that way.
• 1:23:22
  Let's go look for him. Let's help get him back to the
• 1:23:25
  group, right. Let's help get him back on track
• 1:23:27
  or whatever, you know, So that's where I go into like know who
• 1:23:30
  your people are, have that have that thing, you know.
• 1:23:36
  And that's a challenge too. I mean a lot of people I think
• 1:23:38
  are. I I see a lot of examples at
• 1:23:43
  least of this in my area of people that are and have been
• 1:23:47
  solitary practitioners for a very long time, you know, and
• 1:23:52
  they stay that way for reasons I guess, you know, maybe they
• 1:23:58
  maybe there's an anxiety, maybe there's a maybe there's like,
• 1:24:01
  well, there's nothing really in the area or I don't do well in
• 1:24:04
  groups or or all those types of things.
• 1:24:07
  And I go, well, all right, but are there really not people in
• 1:24:14
  your area or or or the steps that needing to be taken to find
• 1:24:18
  people in the area not being gone through?
• 1:24:20
  Right. Are we not doing those things to
• 1:24:24
  to have that sense of community established?
• 1:24:28
  Well, you will never truly know yourself unless you challenge
• 1:24:32
  yourself. And that's something you know a
• 1:24:35
  lot of us can be guilty of. Because in a perfect world,
• 1:24:38
  again, we can have nothing but sunshine and, you know, gum
• 1:24:42
  drops. It'd be great to stay and wake
• 1:24:44
  up every day and hey, I'm in a good mood.
• 1:24:46
  Let's have a great day. Let's just make the best way.
• 1:24:49
  No, no, no, no, no. That's not the way life works.
• 1:24:52
  And for good reasons too. That sounds horrifying to me, to
• 1:24:55
  be honest. No, no.
• 1:24:57
  But just you know, we can't appreciate love without hate.
• 1:25:00
  We can't appreciate heat without cold, or vice versa.
• 1:25:03
  For all you crazy folks. You like cold Jesse being one of
• 1:25:05
  those people, but hey man, you can put more clothes on.
• 1:25:10
  You can only take so much off. And then even after.
• 1:25:13
  Ladies can appreciate that too, but all the same though we more
• 1:25:19
  poorly though we need messed up times.
• 1:25:23
  To really find ourselves and test our metal, really put
• 1:25:27
  ourselves in those circumstances to really define ourselves.
• 1:25:32
  And that's something I really appreciate about our path.
• 1:25:37
  Yeah, probably gonna drop again. But you do.
• 1:25:41
  You need that challenge. You need that you still there,
• 1:25:44
  right? Yeah, I'm here.
• 1:25:45
  Yep, we're good. OK, Sorry.
• 1:25:47
  But yeah, you do. You need that challenge.
• 1:25:48
  You need that. It's the it's nature, man, Like
• 1:25:53
  it literally is. We see it happen all the time in
• 1:25:55
  nature. Nothing stays the same for very
• 1:25:57
  long. Exactly.
• 1:25:59
  So why are we so frustrated? Cuz that's the way life is now.
• 1:26:02
  We well, it's. I think it's the way that we've
• 1:26:05
  become programmed to think. For some reason, we've reached
• 1:26:10
  the point in our humanity that people just like to stay put and
• 1:26:16
  not be disrupted and and people don't like change.
• 1:26:20
  It covers back to my my position with my job.
• 1:26:24
  It's easy to become complacent and content with.
• 1:26:28
  With the way things are going, they're not working our favor.
• 1:26:31
  But it it's serving a purpose. But yeah, it does its thing.
• 1:26:37
  You know, life is the thing, and it does its thing.
• 1:26:42
  Ohh, there we go. Hey cool, we're still here.
• 1:26:47
  Eventually, though, that purpose runs out.
• 1:26:51
  And we're up for themselves and that position that we're in to
• 1:26:56
  make the best of it. And that's all we can do.
• 1:27:01
  So I want to I want to start wrapping it up, but I wanted to
• 1:27:03
  ask a question to you specifically of.
• 1:27:08
  Course once you get settled in, we're good in in the in the vein
• 1:27:15
  of the theme of the podcast, you know.
• 1:27:19
  So with regards to change, what what has been the most impactful
• 1:27:29
  or impressionable change for you Patrick, in your life?
• 1:27:35
  What has been the thing One of you know it didn't have to be
• 1:27:38
  those this is the single most impressionable change or the
• 1:27:41
  single most impactful change. But what?
• 1:27:44
  What change has stood out for you in your life?
• 1:27:48
  And what was the result of that change?
• 1:27:52
  That's a really great question. I'm happy to answer when I have
• 1:27:55
  the answer really available. It's approached me now, but
• 1:28:01
  changing my daily practices and the way I do things, especially
• 1:28:05
  having my Facebook group for the High Lung Spiritual Mental
• 1:28:10
  Awareness and Support group. It's it's what they do my own
• 1:28:14
  thing, but having other people. Part of my group I care a sense
• 1:28:19
  of responsibility and appreciation for collectively
• 1:28:24
  holding a standard, holding you know, a Deacon of hope and being
• 1:28:29
  the person I am. And in doing so, I appreciate
• 1:28:34
  myself and my circles and my applies.
• 1:28:36
  And knowing that I help other people and knowing I provide
• 1:28:39
  inspiration when I find it vacant and make it for me that I
• 1:28:43
  don't have any hope. And then those times I being
• 1:28:47
  myself and share what I share, I find that support right in front
• 1:28:50
  of me. I have these people, This
• 1:28:57
  amazing tribe is high luck. Not just high luck, but my
• 1:29:00
  family, my blessed friends who stand by me during this messed
• 1:29:06
  up times to have that network of support rarely available before
• 1:29:10
  my eyes. And it's okay to lose sight of
• 1:29:13
  that support network and those people.
• 1:29:15
  It's Okay and I feel that way. The fact of your question, you
• 1:29:19
  know, is just find myself making those changes to transitions to
• 1:29:25
  really honor, praise myself as well as my my, my family, my
• 1:29:30
  tribe, my my groups that I follow to really be confronted
• 1:29:35
  and supported during those hardships.
• 1:29:37
  What about you, Jesse? What's what's your answer to
• 1:29:39
  that question? Yeah.
• 1:29:45
  Yeah, I can't hear you. I did the thing again.
• 1:30:00
  I did the thing where I start talking and I don't unmute
• 1:30:03
  myself because sorry about that. But what?
• 1:30:06
  So answer my own question, right, Answer my own question.
• 1:30:11
  What has been the most impactful or the most impressionable,
• 1:30:16
  excuse me, change in my life, moving from New York to
• 1:30:26
  Tennessee almost 20 years ago. And I wasn't even heathen at
• 1:30:30
  that point or Pagan, you know what I mean?
• 1:30:33
  But I lived most of my life up to that point with in my parents
• 1:30:43
  home. You know, I was not reliant on
• 1:30:48
  them, but it relatively speaking, it was, you know,
• 1:30:52
  yeah, sure, I had responsibilities.
• 1:30:54
  But moving out of the home, moving away, especially moving a
• 1:30:58
  whole, you know, 13 hours away into a different state, that was
• 1:31:04
  a huge change. And that was a change that
• 1:31:07
  really threw me into this. You gotta If you don't have it
• 1:31:11
  figured out, you're gonna figure it out along the way you're
• 1:31:16
  gonna you have no other option. You can't rely on mom and dad
• 1:31:20
  and whatever you know to to help with something.
• 1:31:24
  You've got to figure out your own stuff.
• 1:31:28
  That was really where. And you know, I I moved away
• 1:31:33
  when I was in my early 20s. I was like 22 years old when I
• 1:31:38
  moved away. And I know a lot of people will
• 1:31:41
  have different things happen in their lives where they're forced
• 1:31:44
  to grow up and mature and be self reliant and all this kind
• 1:31:49
  of stuff at at different ages. But at that point in my life I
• 1:31:52
  didn't have Jack squat figured out in my life.
• 1:31:55
  But I made the decision and I made the choice to relocate and
• 1:31:59
  to move and then all of a sudden it was like, well now you got to
• 1:32:06
  figure it out. So that was a really impactful
• 1:32:11
  and an impressionable moment of my life of change to take
• 1:32:17
  responsibility. And I made a lot of bad choices,
• 1:32:23
  you know, But that's just it, you know?
• 1:32:27
  Again, looking back on the the the moment and realizing that,
• 1:32:32
  yeah, those choices at the moment were bad choices, but
• 1:32:35
  where am I now? Yeah, exactly.
• 1:32:39
  Where where where where am I now?
• 1:32:40
  Right. Because I made dumb choices back
• 1:32:42
  then doesn't mean that I I'm a bad person now.
• 1:32:46
  If anything, I learned from those bad choices, you know, and
• 1:32:50
  I and I learned from that experience to not repeat that
• 1:32:56
  same behavior. You know what I mean?
• 1:33:00
  And we're we're, you know, human beings and people.
• 1:33:03
  You know, there's like this propensity to, no matter how bad
• 1:33:06
  it gets, like some of us are a bit more hardheaded and some of
• 1:33:10
  us repeat the same mistakes no matter what.
• 1:33:13
  Like, why would you do that again?
• 1:33:16
  Don't you remember what happened last time?
• 1:33:18
  Kind of thing. But to answer the question, to
• 1:33:24
  answer my own question that you threw back on me, right like.
• 1:33:27
  That was. That's probably one of the most
• 1:33:28
  impressionable and most impactful moments of my life was
• 1:33:31
  to just uproot, leave and and start a new life with everything
• 1:33:37
  against me or most things against me.
• 1:33:40
  I mean, my family was against me.
• 1:33:41
  I was literally told to my face that I'm going to fail.
• 1:33:45
  That was told to me, you know you're going to fail.
• 1:33:51
  OK. And did I fail along the way?
• 1:33:55
  Yes. We all, yeah, But that's part of
• 1:33:59
  the thing. Is is is failure.
• 1:34:02
  Is is a lesson. You know what I mean?
• 1:34:05
  If you make a mistake, that's the opportunity to learn from
• 1:34:07
  it. The true failure is if you don't
• 1:34:10
  learn and if you just accept defeat.
• 1:34:13
  Exactly. If I had hit the flights and the
• 1:34:15
  and the problems and the in the issues along the way and let
• 1:34:18
  that be the thing that's like, yeah, man, they were right.
• 1:34:22
  I really did fail. Let me go crawling back and you
• 1:34:25
  know. Cry all day long.
• 1:34:26
  No, Yeah, that wouldn't have the whole gesture.
• 1:34:30
  The whole thing of me leaving and going and doing what I did
• 1:34:33
  would have been for nothing. I I experienced those things
• 1:34:38
  throughout my youth and in early adult years to condition and put
• 1:34:42
  me in a position to handle things that are going on in my
• 1:34:45
  life now. And that's an ongoing thing, you
• 1:34:47
  know what I mean? That's an ongoing lesson.
• 1:34:50
  The challenges, the, the, the suffering, the all of that.
• 1:34:53
  It's the changes that happen. You know, you may not like it,
• 1:34:57
  it may suck, but hey, guess what?
• 1:35:02
  It's happening for a reason. And it's meant to put you in a
• 1:35:05
  position to be ready for the next stage of change, the next
• 1:35:08
  change that happens wherever or whenever that occurs, and.
• 1:35:13
  What? It finds you.
• 1:35:14
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:35:16
  But. But.
• 1:35:18
  So, yeah, man. I thought that was a really
• 1:35:19
  great conclusion. So thanks for answering the
• 1:35:24
  question. And Sagan, again, thank you for
• 1:35:26
  calling into the podcast and expressing the things that you
• 1:35:32
  did and and hopefully what we were able to talk about on this
• 1:35:35
  episode. A really long one, but hopefully
• 1:35:37
  a good one. I love.
• 1:35:39
  It was able to help you, you know, and all the little
• 1:35:42
  idiosyncrasies, the little glitches, the little things
• 1:35:45
  along the way, Hey, you know, if you made it this far in the
• 1:35:47
  podcast, if you made it this far, if you made it to the end,
• 1:35:51
  Patrick, I'm gonna put you on the spot because this is, this
• 1:35:55
  is the thing that you've done before.
• 1:35:56
  So you made it this far. And if you made it to the end of
• 1:36:00
  this podcast, comment down below with Patrick.
• 1:36:03
  What do you wanna? What do you wanna put to that?
• 1:36:08
  Tell us your favorite season and why favorite season?
• 1:36:13
  Seasons kind of goes to the transitional period that we're
• 1:36:16
  discussing right now and why it's important.
• 1:36:19
  Some people might find winter appropriate this time.
• 1:36:22
  You die spiritually or whatever you choose.
• 1:36:25
  Not physically, obviously, but you know, or some people might
• 1:36:29
  say, you know summer cuz you're live, you're flourishing, you're
• 1:36:32
  doing your very best or full, you know, you're, you know,
• 1:36:36
  relax. Adjust and assimilate what's
• 1:36:39
  going on. Some people may be spring like
• 1:36:42
  me, I'm more towards fall and spring.
• 1:36:45
  Those transitional periods like you know, the ones more positive
• 1:36:50
  and whatnot. But also you know, I love spring
• 1:36:53
  because you know, our things being blossoming, it's starting
• 1:36:56
  over again, but then the other side fall.
• 1:36:59
  I love fall because more importantly the temperatures
• 1:37:01
  more cool, just like spring, but also the autumn leaves and more
• 1:37:05
  importantly though. Is I feel like the veil between
• 1:37:08
  the sacred spirit and ourselves most thin and more probably for
• 1:37:13
  those of the North Pagan community we have.
• 1:37:15
  The holy tides are fast approaching us.
• 1:37:17
  You know, winter nights, you'll, you know, just that's that's the
• 1:37:22
  peak period of my experience personally.
• 1:37:24
  Just to have that, that that communion, that availability to
• 1:37:29
  really again those messed up times.
• 1:37:33
  Winter, in my opinion, is a very hard time.
• 1:37:36
  Especially Christmas from North Pagans or pedants, you know, we
• 1:37:42
  we're celebrating. I've been bringing all the same,
• 1:37:45
  but not for the same reasons. Me personally, I celebrate that
• 1:37:49
  because, you know, I'm with my family and I'm very grateful to
• 1:37:53
  be in the position to be thankful of my family and the
• 1:37:57
  traditions that have left me up to this point.
• 1:38:00
  But again, you know, it's all how you see it.
• 1:38:03
  But yeah. We also question what's your
• 1:38:05
  favorite season and why? And thank you so much for
• 1:38:08
  lasting this long. I know a few people who will be
• 1:38:11
  here, but anyone who's watching, thank you.
• 1:38:13
  We appreciate you. We do and it's been a great
• 1:38:17
  show. So thank you for coming back on
• 1:38:19
  here and being a really fun guest and my friend and just
• 1:38:24
  contributing so much to this. It's been great.
• 1:38:26
  I appreciate you and thank you for offering the idea, the
• 1:38:30
  concept like the the, the topic for this week like this.
• 1:38:33
  This is, this is from Patrick. Guys like the Mira Ketti, Mira
• 1:38:37
  Setti, you know, Mira's music video, you know, Patrick wanted
• 1:38:40
  to talk about this and I thought, well, yeah, let's
• 1:38:42
  expound upon it. Let's, let's, let's go places
• 1:38:44
  with it. Let's talk about some things.
• 1:38:45
  And then Sagan calling in and then talking about what she did
• 1:38:48
  like. It kind of all wraps up into a
• 1:38:50
  nice little bundle of embracing change.
• 1:38:54
  And I want to thank you, Jesse, for making that reaction video.
• 1:38:58
  Like we said previously to this podcast, like I told you for
• 1:39:02
  like over half an hour. Like Jesse, this is it, this and
• 1:39:07
  it's perfect. I'm like the whole time.
• 1:39:09
  Like, it's so refreshing to have someone to really reciprocate
• 1:39:15
  and understand the position of passion and understand that we
• 1:39:18
  share. And that kind of ties into what
• 1:39:20
  we're talking about in the past that we follow.
• 1:39:23
  You know this. Just having someone, whether it
• 1:39:25
  be, you know, a close friend that you know, since you know
• 1:39:28
  the early stage, there's someone who just met recently who shares
• 1:39:32
  the similar plights and victories.
• 1:39:34
  You know, that's what's all about.
• 1:39:36
  Forget. No, don't forget the hardships
• 1:39:38
  because they play a role. But more importantly, give
• 1:39:40
  attention to those and what makes you hopeful and happy.
• 1:39:48
  Because we couldn't be more. We could be the person and
• 1:39:51
  people we are today without. Both the hardships and the
• 1:39:55
  victories that we share, Absolutely.
• 1:39:58
  It's all part of shaping us. It's all part of it.
• 1:40:03
  So thank you everybody for tuning in and watching this
• 1:40:07
  episode this week. Don't forget to like, comment,
• 1:40:09
  share, and subscribe to Mid Guard Musings.
• 1:40:11
  Check out Patrick's Highland group that's gonna be linked
• 1:40:15
  down in the show notes and description of this video.
• 1:40:18
  Big and especially if you're looking for an anonymous space
• 1:40:21
  space and you just want to vent or whatever, it's there and we
• 1:40:25
  would welcome you there will. Definitely Be sure to check all
• 1:40:30
  of the information that's annotated down in the
• 1:40:32
  description or over here in the show notes, wherever it is that
• 1:40:35
  you're capturing this podcast. Thank you to Patrick again for
• 1:40:37
  coming on here this week and being an honored guest.
• 1:40:40
  As always, And for everybody else that is listening and
• 1:40:44
  watching this week, thank you for your ongoing and constant
• 1:40:48
  support. May the gods continue to notice
• 1:40:50
  you, and may your ancestors pawl upon you, and we'll see you in
• 1:40:54
  the next one.