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S3 E34 - Approved Summer Blockbuster Movies · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:01
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Stephen Jeff Show, the first comedy podcast in the history of the world.
0:08
SPEAKER_02: Assuming the world began when I started talking.
0:12
SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:17
SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:20
SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Stephen Jeff.
0:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, hey Johnny, thanks for getting us into this show.
0:27
SPEAKER_02: And it is so great to be here doing these summer episodes.
0:30
SPEAKER_02: How's it going, Jeff?
0:32
SPEAKER_03: It's going great.
0:33
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's kind of nice to be back at home.
0:35
SPEAKER_03: We've been traveling and we've had a lot of stuff going on.
0:38
SPEAKER_03: It's nice to be back with Kathy for a change at home.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: And when I say back at home with Kathy for a change, I don't mean that I'm home with other women.
0:46
SPEAKER_02: No.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: I'm just saying that it's nice to be with her.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:51
SPEAKER_03: Not that other women would be that would not be not nice.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: Right.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: You know, yeah, right.
0:55
SPEAKER_03: It depends on who they are, but well, well, yeah.
0:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:58
SPEAKER_03: What about with you?
0:59
SPEAKER_02: You know, I've been good too.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: I've been here this week.
1:01
SPEAKER_02: I was traveling a little bit as well, and nice to be back and stay at home with Teresa and with others.
1:08
SPEAKER_02: Do I need to clarify that at all?
1:10
SPEAKER_03: No, I have not been with Teresa.
1:12
SPEAKER_03: I just want to get this for the record.
1:13
SPEAKER_03: I haven't been home with her.
1:14
SPEAKER_03: So maybe we should just go forward.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: Had an interesting week last week, in fact, because as as you know, this past week or week before, I was in uh Southern California.
1:23
SPEAKER_02: You know, now I didn't fly into LAX.
1:25
SPEAKER_02: I flew into that one that's named after the cowboy actor, you know, Randall Scott Airport.
1:30
SPEAKER_02: I didn't see motivational speaker Tony Ziegfeld this time like I did last time, which is just as well because you know it didn't end so well with him, but I digress.
1:38
SPEAKER_02: You know, I was there and my flight got delayed, you know, so I had a lot of time to walk up and down the concourse.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: And I was walking around, and you you'll never guess what I did see.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: I didn't see Tony Ziegfeld, but I you never guess what I did see.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: I saw um uh well, almost, almost.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: He was about your dad's age, and he looks like maybe he'd been in prison too.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: So I don't, you know, I don't know.
1:59
SPEAKER_02: But I saw this mime performing right in the concourse, yeah.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: Because they they at Randolph Scott Airport, they have these little things, they have a piano that says, Come up and show us your talent, and they've had a guitar singer that's uh they have these places where people just kind of busk.
2:14
SPEAKER_02: It's like entertainment, it's kind of cool.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: So they had a mime at one of them, you know.
2:19
SPEAKER_03: And and I sort of remember I refresh my memory.
2:22
SPEAKER_03: I you tend to not forget this kind of stuff, but were you a mime at one point?
2:27
SPEAKER_02: You know, your memory is as sharp as that steak knife because yes, I did mime many years ago.
2:34
SPEAKER_02: This is long before we started the podcast.
2:36
SPEAKER_02: And you know, when I I saw that mime, I thought that's a sign, that's a sign that I should start back up.
2:43
SPEAKER_02: It has been great to perform again.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: I've really enjoyed it, and yeah, I'm just Teresa's thrilled that I'm not talking.
2:50
SPEAKER_03: But it could affect our podcast.
2:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it could, yeah.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: I mean, because this is this is kind of you know an audio podcast.
2:57
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, mime on a podcast, a mime podcast.
3:00
SPEAKER_02: I you know, I bet there are so many podcasts.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: I bet there is a podcast about miming.
3:04
SPEAKER_03: Probably.
3:04
SPEAKER_03: So I wonder what you do.
3:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, how come you're not doing miming?
3:08
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if that's called miming or miming.
3:11
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's you know, it's kind of dangerous because sometimes you it can get you can get trapped in underground gas and black lung and things explode and uh but you know, I miming was so great.
3:21
SPEAKER_02: And you know, I I don't know if you remember this.
3:22
SPEAKER_02: At one time, I actually thought that I could do it for a living.
3:26
unknown: Wow.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: I thought that, but it didn't go exactly as planned.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: I had just gotten out of high school and loved, of course, Marcel Marceau.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: You'd see him on the on TV and on Ed Sullivan.
3:37
SPEAKER_02: He came on right after the guy that spun the plates and right before senior wetness.
3:41
SPEAKER_02: I mean senior went systems, you know.
3:43
SPEAKER_02: The I would practice this in high school.
3:45
SPEAKER_02: I'd sometimes go days without saying a word.
3:48
SPEAKER_02: I just act everything out.
3:49
SPEAKER_02: I sometimes I wouldn't eat, I just act out eating.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and don't get me started on how I mimed with my high school girlfriend.
3:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
3:58
SPEAKER_03: Well, sometimes miming with your girlfriend can can work out well.
4:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sort of yeah.
4:03
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you you get some valuable ore that you can make into a ring, maybe, you know.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, that's kind of nice.
4:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I do remember that you were a little bit on the quiet side at times, you know, other times you weren't, but uh, but as I recall, I remember you doing some meming and it was really impressive.
4:20
SPEAKER_03: And yeah, you know, you were extraordinary with your hands and your body and you know, your expressions.
4:25
SPEAKER_02: I think that's what they've always told me.
4:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then when you started miming, then that that just you know that was even made it even better, right?
4:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
4:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
4:34
SPEAKER_03: So what happened?
4:35
SPEAKER_03: How come you stopped?
4:36
SPEAKER_02: Miming was great.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: I loved it.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: I think I was good at it too, but it's it is a just a very tough way to make a living, you know.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: But back then I loved it so much.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: I I wondered if I could make a living doing it.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: So I I decided to go somewhere where a lot of people were and you know, see if I could get discovered, see if people liked it, if I if they'd give me money for it.
4:57
SPEAKER_02: Now, of course, Randolph Scott Airport was too far away, so I went to Brookfield Zoo in Chicago.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: In Chicago, yeah.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: I stood, you know, in the middle of the kind of in that the middle part where all this stuff comes together, like the intestines of the park, if you will.
5:14
SPEAKER_03: I do remember that.
5:15
SPEAKER_02: You know, that's where it's typically the most crowded.
5:17
SPEAKER_02: And so I'd I'd go out there and I just started performing.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: You know, I'd I'd climb fake walls, I'd pretend to be inside a box, I'd do the fake running, you know, stuff like that.
5:27
SPEAKER_02: Pretend a meaning, you know, all that mime stuff, you know?
5:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
5:31
SPEAKER_02: So crowds would gather and people loved it.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: People started to really, really like what I was doing.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, one day I was doing this and a couple of zoo keepers came by and said, Come with us.
5:42
SPEAKER_02: You know, so I thought, well, all right, they're throwing me out.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: But it was fun while it lasted.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: But no, they weren't throwing me out.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: They brought me to see the head of the zoo.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: And the head of the zoo told me, I thought he was gonna throw me out, right?
5:54
SPEAKER_02: But the head of the zoo told me that their most popular exhibit was a gorilla, uh, Bushman or somebody.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: I, you know, you probably remember this.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: We had been there for years and years.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: Gorilla died, and they couldn't get a new gorilla for a few months.
6:11
SPEAKER_02: So he said, Look, this gorilla has been the most popular attraction here, and we need to have a gorilla.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: And until we can get a real gorilla, would you do it?
6:20
SPEAKER_02: He said he'd pay me$20 per hour to put on a gorilla suit and pretend to be the gorilla.
6:26
SPEAKER_02: Now,$20 an hour when we were in high school, that's like$8,000 an hour today, especially for a high school kid, right?
6:32
SPEAKER_03: So I I didn't realize they paid gorillas that well.
6:36
SPEAKER_02: See, that's the thing.
6:37
SPEAKER_02: If they can get a gorilla to do it, it's only four dollars an hour.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: But they get a they get a bowl of rice, I think, to eat, but but I digress.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: Uh anyway, so I I said yes, of course.
6:47
SPEAKER_02: Took the job, I loved it.
6:48
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
6:49
SPEAKER_02: And the and I think crowds loved me too.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: They kept coming.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: I was I was more popular than I really could have ever hoped to be on my own as a mime.
6:57
SPEAKER_02: And I think I was more popular than the than the real gorilla, to tell you the truth.
7:01
SPEAKER_02: So I was doing this.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: I did this like all day, yeah, you know, every day.
7:05
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, after a few weeks, you know, you kind of run out of tricks, you know, and people would see the same old stuff, and and they kind of they seemed to be getting bored with me.
7:15
SPEAKER_02: I was right next to the lion, you know, the lion cage was right right next to mine.
7:19
SPEAKER_02: And I noticed people were going over to the lion cage.
7:22
SPEAKER_02: They were leaving the gorilla and they're saying, Oh, look at this lion.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: This lion is so cool, you know.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: I dealt with that for a while, but then thought, you know, this I this isn't fun anymore.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: But then I got an idea.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: I went up to the bars because it's just bars separating me from the lion, you know.
7:37
SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: And went up to bars and I dangled myself just out of the lion's reach.
7:44
SPEAKER_02: So this lion, oh, started going nuts.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, saw me climbing up and almost went nuts then, you know, got me on my way up.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: But once I got up there, oh gosh, this lion is jumping and trying to reach me, and you know, couldn't quite reach me, couldn't quite because they know obviously they make these cages a little taller than they could jump over for obvious reasons, right?
8:04
SPEAKER_03: You know, was this before or after Zigfield and Troy got mangled by their lion?
8:10
SPEAKER_03: Because that would scare me.
8:11
SPEAKER_02: I'd have to look at my my notebooks, you know, because I kept detailed notebooks, detailed calendars of everything I did back in high school, as as you know.
8:19
SPEAKER_02: So I I'd have to look at that, but I digress.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: I I was taunting that little lion.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, come on, Leo.
8:26
SPEAKER_02: I called him Leo, isn't that not the Holy Father?
8:29
SPEAKER_02: No, it's different Leo, very different Leo.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: So crowd loved it.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: The head of the zoo heard about this, came down and said, you know what?
8:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna pay you 40 an hour.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna double your pay.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: 40 an hour.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's almost a weekly podcast salary right there.
8:43
SPEAKER_02: So that's I thought that was that was pretty good.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: In one hour, you can make what you make in a week.
8:47
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I this was great.
8:48
SPEAKER_02: This was a whole new lease on the job.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: I I got most of the laughs when I harassed the lion.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: You know, because that's that was just people came to see it.
8:57
SPEAKER_02: It's always funny to to tease a beast that could kill you in seconds.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
9:02
SPEAKER_02: And that's that's that's the laugh, I guess.
9:04
SPEAKER_02: That's the funny part.
9:05
SPEAKER_02: But eventually, like so many other things, eventually that became routine as well.
9:10
SPEAKER_02: And when things become routine, you get a little bored, you you know, your mind wanders, you become a little sloppy.
9:16
SPEAKER_02: Well, it was a hot day, hands were sweaty, and one day, one day I slipped, I fell into the lion's cage.
9:23
SPEAKER_02: Lion right away, right away jumps on me.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: So I'm I'm screaming for help.
9:28
SPEAKER_02: Saying the first words that I'd ever said as a mime, you know, in public.
9:32
SPEAKER_02: They had never heard me talk before.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: They didn't know who it was.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: They were looking around behind them, and who is that?
9:37
SPEAKER_02: You know, it was me in the gorilla outfit, you know.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: So I'm yelling, screaming, help me, help me.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: Lion puts a paw over my mouth and leans in close and whispers, shut up, you idiot.
9:49
SPEAKER_02: You want to get us both fired?
9:50
SPEAKER_03: And I would laugh at that, but I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you the truth, which was that I was that lion because I don't think you knew.
10:00
SPEAKER_03: I I used to do a little miming myself, and and they they were paying me fifty dollars an hour.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: They paid you fifty.
10:07
SPEAKER_03: Wow, I did, but yeah, I had to perform some other acts for them, which at the time I thought was unfair, but you know you thought those extra acts meant that they liked you better.
10:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know I I get it, I understand.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: It's it's a long, sad story.
10:22
SPEAKER_02: I I know.
10:23
SPEAKER_03: But but you know what?
10:24
SPEAKER_03: I think it's karma or it's synergy or it's bestiality or something, but but between us, I think it kind of brought us together in some way, even though we didn't know who we were, we belong together.
10:40
SPEAKER_03: And I I think that really speaks to where we are now.
10:43
SPEAKER_02: That's it exactly, Jeff.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: And and you know, whether we knew it or not, we apparently belong together and and certainly belong performing together.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: Performing together uh bring us together, just it makes the world a better place.
10:57
SPEAKER_02: It's just our our performing together is a very powerful thing, like in in the mimes or in this podcast.
11:04
SPEAKER_02: You know, entertainment in and of itself can be a very powerful thing as well.
11:08
SPEAKER_02: And speaking of entertainment, do you see the email from the junta?
11:12
SPEAKER_02: You know, the new regime, they are always trying to help us out, they're always trying to help people, and they've done it again.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you, very, very helpful email on approved summer blockbuster movies.
11:24
SPEAKER_03: That's great because the the last email was that they were going to rename the Mississippi River, and I that was not as uplifting.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that name is just too American.
11:32
SPEAKER_03: No, we can't no, no, we can't have that.
11:35
SPEAKER_03: But you're right, entertainment can play such a role in making people feel better, and they need to feel better because you know, we've got me that's going down the tubes, and inflation will be a 50 percent, 15 or 50 or 10 or 50.
11:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's important that we have a distraction, and you know, I think that's what the administration is good at is creating distractions.
11:58
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, don't look over there, don't look at the lions then, you know, because over here is they are professional distractors, they really are as is entertaining.
12:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm excited about it.
12:09
SPEAKER_02: You know, and this goes really well.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: This list of approved summer blockbuster movies goes really well with the recipes they gave us last week.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's kind of like a depression date night, you know, dinner in a movie, compliment of arcade, exactly, but of course, it has to be the right movie, none of that free thinking propaganda.
12:26
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no.
12:27
SPEAKER_03: And and I think based on from what I remember of the uncooked meat, the unpasteurized milk and stuff, you might want to go do the entertainment first and then eat later.
12:38
SPEAKER_03: Otherwise, you may not actually get to it.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: Unless if you have one of those, if you have a portable screen, like on a phone or a device or something that you could while you're throwing up, you could watch the movie.
12:50
SPEAKER_02: You could take the screen in with you, you know.
12:52
SPEAKER_02: So, Jeff, I think there's some wonderful movies on this list.
12:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm very excited for these summer blockbuster movies.
12:59
SPEAKER_03: I took a brief look at the list, and like I said, the best part is that we get to see this new cabinet, this talented group of people in the White House.
13:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, to see them in a completely new light because right now they're they're still trying to find their footing.
13:13
SPEAKER_03: And when I say try to find their footing, like try to do their jobs, which they seem to be struggling with at this point, or they're footing as human beings.
13:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and who knows, maybe they're just in the wrong jobs.
13:26
SPEAKER_03: Maybe Secretary of Education should be acting, you know, and maybe this is this is opening up a new profession for most of these people.
13:35
SPEAKER_02: I think we'd be doing our listeners a great service if we kind of go through this list.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: I think we just run through it.
13:42
SPEAKER_02: We'll trade off.
13:42
SPEAKER_02: I'll get started here.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: Perfect.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: Uh, first one movie called The Most Brutalist, uh the musical.
13:49
SPEAKER_02: Um I love see they give the they give the title and they give a little description here.
13:54
SPEAKER_02: So the most brutalist, the musical.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: Militia members choreograph raids and abductions while singing and dancing to the classic soul sounds of the Ohio players.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: I remember them, yeah.
14:05
SPEAKER_02: Starring Tom Homan, Christy Gnome, and Javier Bardem.
14:09
SPEAKER_02: Uh two hours 47 minutes.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's uh that sounds very entertaining.
14:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, although scary.
14:16
SPEAKER_03: And you know, just the look of them, you know, like I'm not talking, I'm not even talking about Javier, but to be honest with you, I'm a little more freaked out when I take a look at uh Christy Gnome and and and Tom Homan.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well they scare me a little bit more.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: If that doesn't give you nightmares, you're not paying attention.
14:34
SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you.
14:34
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
14:35
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
14:36
SPEAKER_03: So it should be wonderful.
14:37
SPEAKER_03: And when you're talking about being brutal, I they know what they're talking about.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, they they got it down.
14:43
SPEAKER_03: It's not a stretch.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: No.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: This one is called A Real Pain.
14:49
SPEAKER_03: Sick people with no insurance prove that they are valuable.
14:54
SPEAKER_03: And it stars Dr.
14:55
SPEAKER_03: Oz, Christy Alley, oh yeah, and Jack Kavorkian.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: I think three are dead, but they filmed it before, you know, like we've said in the past, it's in the can, it's been in the can for a couple of years.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: They can do everything with AI these days.
15:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's an hour and still be making movies.
15:13
SPEAKER_02: What the heck?
15:14
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
15:14
SPEAKER_03: It's an hour and 35 minutes, 39 minutes, so it's a little bit shorter.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
15:19
SPEAKER_02: Well, which I think that would be a snack as opposed to the full meal.
15:23
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that most brutalist the musical, that's your that's your full dinner, you know.
15:27
SPEAKER_03: I was kind of confused because I I thought maybe they would call it the royal pain, you know, after our king.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: See, but if they called it the royal pain, then that would imply that our king is somehow causing pain.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: And they can't say that.
15:41
SPEAKER_03: No, although causing pain is now acceptable for the king.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: Causing pain is good for the right.
15:49
SPEAKER_03: You prove your your um dedication, your commitment to the king by absorbing as much pain as he can inflict upon you.
15:58
SPEAKER_02: Boy, and and speaking of prove, boy, this next one looks really interesting too.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: It's called First Tenor Nights.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: A group of little guys try to prove they are alpha males.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: Hilarity ensues, uh, starring Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio, and Paul Williamson.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: Poor guy.
16:15
SPEAKER_02: I don't know how he got stuck in that.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: So one hour and forty-five minutes.
16:18
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
16:19
SPEAKER_03: Wonderful.
16:20
SPEAKER_03: I love puppet shows.
16:21
SPEAKER_03: And is is Marco a a puppet in this?
16:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if he's one of those creepy puppets.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: I can't tell.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: I I can't tell from the picture if it's live action or if there actually are marionettes, because there I don't there's not a big difference in the picture.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
16:36
SPEAKER_03: There is not.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: I mean, and even if it is live action, I think they are still puppets, if you know what I mean.
16:43
SPEAKER_03: I know exactly what you mean.
16:45
SPEAKER_03: So I guess the question is who's the marionette for Stephen Miller?
16:49
SPEAKER_03: Because my my gut tells me that that that person isn't around anymore.
16:54
SPEAKER_02: He probably spoke a different language, perhaps.
16:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
16:59
SPEAKER_03: Let me look at what's next on the list.
17:01
SPEAKER_03: Oh so here's one.
17:04
SPEAKER_03: This is obstinate abuse, a formula for perpetual youth that seems to work with some unfortunate side effects.
17:12
SPEAKER_03: And it stars Elon Musk, Pete Hegsa, and Lindsay Lohan.
17:18
SPEAKER_03: And it's two hours.
17:19
SPEAKER_03: Well, I don't know, they don't know exactly how long it was, but yeah, no, they could probably fall asleep in a space down.
17:26
SPEAKER_03: But that sounds fascinating and really good cast.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: Well, that'd be a snack and a gummy.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: Uh that sounds like a lot of fun.
17:34
SPEAKER_02: It's like so many other movies.
17:35
SPEAKER_02: I mean, if you do a gummy, it's it's not so bad.
17:38
SPEAKER_03: I agree.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh, this one, uh people are gonna want to see this one.
17:41
SPEAKER_02: Uh it's called A Complete Unknown.
17:43
SPEAKER_02: It's a stirring documentary.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: No, no, it's a stirring documentary about the next picks to head sensitive agencies in the current administration, and it stars an ensemble cast of fiercely loyal newbies.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: One hour and 14 minutes, because you know they don't say a lot.
18:01
SPEAKER_03: Could be a movie that would win in the category of horror movies.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: Yes, oh yeah, too.
18:07
SPEAKER_03: Because it sounds very scary.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, it's gonna compete with that that musical, the brutalist, I think, for the the horror.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: Now, I don't think there's music in this one because it's a documentary, and typically, unless it's a documentary about a musician, they typically don't have singing and dancing in a documentary, but uh, you know, you never know.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: I mean, he's got somebody like a wrestler heading the department of education, he's got uh a weekend show host host uh running the Pentagon.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: So hey, maybe he's got a singer and dancer running some of these other agencies.
18:38
SPEAKER_02: Who knows?
18:39
SPEAKER_02: I guess we'll just have we'll have to watch.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: Why not?
18:44
SPEAKER_03: I mean, gas is being used for this.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: Well, that could be.
18:47
SPEAKER_02: I think he'd be an improvement over most of the others out there, you know.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: What the heck?
18:51
SPEAKER_03: And Bob seems to have the temperament that the administration's looking for, you know.
18:55
SPEAKER_03: He just seems like a warm and fuzzy guy that really cares about people.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: He always likes to go along with what he's told to do.
19:04
SPEAKER_02: I I have heard.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: I mean, he's always done that, so I I think he'd fit right in.
19:09
SPEAKER_03: The next one on the list is Grift Part two.
19:12
SPEAKER_03: Uh I don't think I saw the first one, but oh you didn't miss it.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
19:16
SPEAKER_03: No.
19:16
SPEAKER_02: Um I got eight hours sleep in that movie.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh.
19:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and this one's long, and it's uh it's a sci-fi saga that returns with yet another ponderous walkthrough serial scams.
19:31
SPEAKER_03: So I guess it's a it's a slasher murder type movie starring Don Jr.
19:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:38
SPEAKER_03: And Larry Hover.
19:40
SPEAKER_03: Now, Larry Hover, is it Hoover or Hover?
19:43
SPEAKER_02: I think it's Hoover.
19:44
SPEAKER_03: Is it Hoover?
19:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and Mohammed Ben.
19:47
SPEAKER_03: Is it Ben or Bine?
19:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I think it's Ben.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: Ah, and then it's been that way for a long time.
19:55
SPEAKER_03: Good.
19:56
SPEAKER_03: But it's it's almost five hours long.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, you get a you get a nice nap in that one.
20:01
SPEAKER_03: You have to commit to that, you know.
20:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's yeah.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's two dinners.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: Heck, you should eat lunch before it and then dinner after it.
20:08
SPEAKER_03: I mean yeah, but again, eating too much food nowadays is is dangerous for your health.
20:14
SPEAKER_02: So oh, that's true.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: That's true.
20:16
SPEAKER_03: Don't know if you want to do that.
20:17
SPEAKER_03: Uh what else do you see here?
20:18
SPEAKER_02: Oh, here's another nice one.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: Uh, Wicked.
20:21
SPEAKER_02: Now, this is not not that Wizard of Oz thing.
20:23
SPEAKER_02: No, not that one.
20:25
SPEAKER_02: So kind of like a complete unknown, you know.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: It's title sounds like something you know, but no, it isn't.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: Uh Wicked, it's a whole new spin on how to act differently than you talk.
20:36
SPEAKER_02: And it's starring Usa Vance, John Roberts, and Joel Osteen.
20:40
SPEAKER_02: So is and narrated by Caroline Levin.
20:43
SPEAKER_02: Uh two hours and twelve minutes.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: She's very good.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: She's wicked good.
20:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've heard that they have an alternative title for that, which is the Canadian.
20:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Wicked Canadian, Evil.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: I think the working title for that movie was Lies My Cult Leader Told Me.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: I like that one.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: They couldn't release it with that title because I know what you mean.
21:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sure.
21:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:07
SPEAKER_03: The next one is My Old Ass.
21:12
SPEAKER_03: This is one that yeah, this is one that really struck home for me.
21:17
SPEAKER_02: Uh right where you sit, huh?
21:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:23
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's a fantasy about government run by senile old people who have to be reminded what room they are in.
21:31
SPEAKER_03: And it stars uh, you know, Chuck Schumer, you know, who should be excellent in this.
21:36
SPEAKER_03: Uh Chuck Grassley, as we mentioned before, he's the one with the big balls.
21:41
SPEAKER_03: And and then yeah, and then Chuck Norris, who doesn't look a day over thirty based on the parts that he's got.
21:48
SPEAKER_03: Decades are we talking?
21:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
21:52
SPEAKER_03: It's an hour and forty seven minutes.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:54
SPEAKER_03: And I heard that the king makes the cameo in this.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm sure.
21:58
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure he does because which is great.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: I mean, a fantasy about a government run by seenailed old people.
22:03
SPEAKER_02: I mean, who would, you know, that certainly could never happen.
22:06
SPEAKER_03: I saw a documentary on John Waters.
22:09
SPEAKER_03: Do you remember John Waters?
22:10
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: John Waters, yeah.
22:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:12
SPEAKER_03: And in that, he was going broke.
22:14
SPEAKER_03: He was doing some pretty disgusting movies.
22:17
SPEAKER_03: And he came up with this idea called Smell OVision.
22:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:22
SPEAKER_03: Do you remember that?
22:22
SPEAKER_03: And what he did was he gave everybody who came into the movie this little scratch card.
22:28
SPEAKER_03: And at certain times in the movie, they would say to scratch, you know, number one or number two.
22:33
SPEAKER_03: I think this would work for my old ass, don't you think?
22:36
SPEAKER_03: Or for their old ass.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: Speaking of fantasies, there's a list of classic movie re-releases.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: These are older movies that are making a comeback, are coming back because they're relevant again.
22:48
SPEAKER_02: First one here, shitheads list.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: It's a sci-fi classic.
22:53
SPEAKER_02: I remember when that first came out, gosh, the lines were down the block, you know.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: It's unbelievable.
22:58
SPEAKER_02: It's a sci-fi classic about a complete idiot who takes over a major country and makes a list of his enemies.
23:05
SPEAKER_02: Now that could never happen, of course, but who would agree on a script like that?
23:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:10
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, it was Greenlit decades ago.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: Cast list, of course, is redacted.
23:14
SPEAKER_02: There is a pending FOIA case, though, so we might find out who they are, but uh, you know, we probably won't.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: Two hours and three minutes.
23:21
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's just about right.
23:23
SPEAKER_03: It's about as long as the insurrectionists did time.
23:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's about uh let's see, about two hours and three minutes more than most of them did.
23:32
SPEAKER_03: For the time, that's true.
23:33
SPEAKER_03: I think I want to see that one.
23:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I definitely do, yeah.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: Sci-fi fantasy, hey.
23:39
SPEAKER_03: The next one is How to Steal a Billion.
23:42
SPEAKER_03: It reminds me of the Robert Wagner TV show that it takes a thief, yes.
23:46
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
23:47
SPEAKER_03: It takes a thief, and it sounds like it takes a thief.
23:49
SPEAKER_03: That's sort of the theme of our country.
23:51
SPEAKER_02: It certainly does.
23:52
SPEAKER_03: And our government, it does.
23:53
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
23:54
SPEAKER_03: But it's about two wacky kids who come up with a scam to sell a worthless plastic card for millions of dollars, and it works somehow.
24:05
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
24:06
SPEAKER_03: And it stars Don Jr.
24:08
SPEAKER_03: You know, he's in a lot of these.
24:09
SPEAKER_03: I think I think he's really found his niche.
24:12
SPEAKER_02: And then his career is really coming on strong.
24:15
SPEAKER_03: It is.
24:16
SPEAKER_03: And then uh Laura Loomer.
24:18
SPEAKER_02: Laura Loomer.
24:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh, good.
24:19
SPEAKER_03: You know, I I think she ought to stick with horror movies.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm surprised she I'm surprised she's not in that brutalist of the musical.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:27
SPEAKER_02: Beautiful singing voice.
24:28
SPEAKER_02: Uh, it's kind of a screaming, kind of a screamy voice, really, but you know.
24:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's an hour and 33 minutes.
24:34
SPEAKER_03: I actually kind of want to see this.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: You know, I want to see all these.
24:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I can fit all of them into the summer, but I I want to see all these.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: These all just sound so good.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: This next one, classic re-release, Lord of the Springs.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: It's a screwball comedy where a career criminal sets himself up in a famous resort and becomes dictator of the world.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: A laugh riot, but not an insurrection.
24:57
SPEAKER_02: You know, starring uh Alec Baldwin.
24:59
SPEAKER_02: Uh, two hours, five minutes.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: Wow, sounds delightful, doesn't it?
25:03
SPEAKER_02: I love screwball comedies, you know.
25:05
SPEAKER_03: The next one here is the Mexican.
25:08
SPEAKER_03: A few guys create a fake crisis and send a busboy to prison in Afghanistan.
25:14
SPEAKER_03: The entire cast wears masks, it's an hour and 57 minutes.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
25:20
SPEAKER_03: And it sounds great.
25:22
SPEAKER_02: Wearing masks, see, that's that's almost like miming.
25:24
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
25:25
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like vocal miming.
25:27
SPEAKER_02: You you're not doing anything with your face, so it's all with your voice or with your guns.
25:34
SPEAKER_02: Hey, this re-release, you are not gonna want to miss this one, I can tell you.
25:39
SPEAKER_03: I think, Steve, of all the ones that you have read, this is the one that really captures my imagination and my interest.
25:45
SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
25:46
SPEAKER_02: And you know, it's another documentary, but I think in today's world, a good documentary is just as fun as a bunch of fiction.
25:55
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
25:56
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: Uh, this one, The Stepford Wives, right?
26:00
SPEAKER_02: It's a documentary of the cosmetic and plastic surgery rigors, not to mention the brain simplifications required to make it as a woman in politics.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: Starring Christy Noem, Caroline Levitt, and Laura Loomer, and a cast of dozens.
26:15
SPEAKER_02: It's one hour 33 minutes.
26:17
SPEAKER_02: I well worth the time.
26:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I hear Don Jr.
26:20
SPEAKER_03: was the director for this.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: Wouldn't surprise me a bit.
26:24
SPEAKER_03: He's perfect.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: He's acting in all these movies, he's directing, he's kind of a renaissance dude, you know.
26:30
SPEAKER_03: The women love him.
26:31
SPEAKER_03: In fact, I hear Christy Gnome has an eye out for him, and that's pretty much all she can move as well.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
26:40
SPEAKER_02: She would say how she feels, but you know, she can't, like physically can't, you know.
26:45
SPEAKER_03: No, and that kind of leads us to what could be the sequel, which is Botox Barbie.
26:51
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
26:52
SPEAKER_03: Several Barbies and Ken try to look alike and almost reach an epiphany about being themselves but miss it.
27:01
SPEAKER_03: And it's the same cast, uh, plus Ryan Gosling.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: Plus Ryan Gosling.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, hey, that's well, that's gonna be a sure hit.
27:08
SPEAKER_03: Well, that is it does feel a little woke, though.
27:11
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
27:12
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure that they will trash him in the movie, but well, see, they miss the epiphany, so it's not woke.
27:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
27:19
SPEAKER_02: No, see, that's that's what makes it okay.
27:21
SPEAKER_02: If they got the epiphany, oh yeah, no, that's a problem.
27:24
SPEAKER_03: What a list.
27:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, something for everybody.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: This summer is gonna be so much fun watching these movies.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: I I just can't wait.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: I hope I hope they're all gonna be streaming because you know I won't have money to put gas in the car to go to the theater or buy a ticket to the theater.
27:41
SPEAKER_02: So hopefully they'll all be streaming.
27:43
SPEAKER_03: And hopefully they're all made in the U.S.
27:45
SPEAKER_03: because I guess the tariffs that are gonna be applied to all the foreign-made films will make it impossible for us to watch any of them.
27:53
SPEAKER_02: So I imagine these were all made in in Washington, DC, or some perhaps in Florida.
27:58
SPEAKER_03: Or Russia.
27:59
SPEAKER_02: Or Russia, or yeah, no tariffs there.
28:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, no tariffs there.
28:03
SPEAKER_02: That's so exciting, and I'm glad that we're able to do this service for our listeners and let them know all the fun stuff that is coming out this summer.
28:12
SPEAKER_02: What great movies.
28:14
SPEAKER_03: It's very uplifting.
28:15
SPEAKER_03: And last week, if you recall, we had sort of channeled a couple people through our personalities.
28:22
SPEAKER_03: It was a little complicated.
28:24
SPEAKER_03: I am so glad that they have made up and that they have found common ground, which is basically screw everybody.
28:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
28:33
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's the one thing they can agree on.
28:35
SPEAKER_02: Beyond that, it's like tactics.
28:37
SPEAKER_02: They agree on the strategy, it's just the tactics.
28:40
SPEAKER_03: Yes, exactly.
28:41
SPEAKER_03: So cheers to them.
28:42
SPEAKER_03: They're back on track, and I think that's important.
28:46
SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad there's harmony among people of that type.
28:50
SPEAKER_02: Jeff, we are just about to get kicked out of eccentric Ladyland Studios.
28:53
SPEAKER_02: I can't wait to watch some of these movies.
28:55
SPEAKER_02: Hey, maybe we'll spend some time at home with our wives or others and watch these movies.
29:00
SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
29:00
SPEAKER_03: That's that sounds great.
29:02
SPEAKER_03: Pop a little popcorn, not in a microwave, but maybe in oil, you know, or coal.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: Hey, you ever had coal pop popcorn?
29:09
SPEAKER_02: It is so good.
29:09
SPEAKER_02: It's a little, you gotta dust it off a little bit, but it's oh, it's got a it's got a flavor you wouldn't believe.
29:14
SPEAKER_02: It's got a very unique flavor.
29:15
SPEAKER_02: But I digress.
29:17
SPEAKER_02: We're getting kicked out.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: But Johnny, get us out of this show.
29:21
SPEAKER_01: All right, Steve.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: Guests of the Steve and Jeff Show received their own personally programmed and closely monitored entertainment devices so they can watch all the state-approved movies this summer at no cost, just a small$795 service charge.
29:35
SPEAKER_01: Courtesy of Exuspy, formerly known as United States.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: You may as well watch, because we sure are watching you.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: And their dinner and a movie will be complete when they receive a gourmet meal from the blending kitchens of Appropriation Station restaurants.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: Choose from flavorless Mexican, Indian, or Peruvian meals made by the Angolos, who took over all those restaurant jobs.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: A$200 value, yours for only$199.
30:01
SPEAKER_01: This has been a government censorship production in association with massive distraction media.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: Read all about Steve and Jeff at their website, Steve and Jeff.com.
30:11
SPEAKER_01: This is Johnny speaking.
30:12
SPEAKER_01: Steve's mom and I love dinner and movie nights.
30:15
SPEAKER_01: But just last night we watched a documentary about a group of mimes living out in the woods.
30:20
SPEAKER_01: It was made in Europe, so I'm glad they dubbed in the mimes' voices.
30:25
SPEAKER_01: I hate subtitles.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: Good night.