Latest / Career Skills with Fexingo: Hard Skills, Soft Skills, and Future-Proofing Your Career / How Informal Mentorships Unlock Career Growth
Transcript
- Lucas: So, Luna, we've talked a lot about building skills, stacking them, making them visible. But there's a quieter, almost invisible way that careers actually get built, and it doesn't show up on any resume. Luna: You mean like the people who help you along the way? The ones who aren't officially assigned to you? Lucas: Exactly. Informal mentorships. Not the ones HR sets up, not the ones with a formal agenda and a six-month timeline, but the ones that just happen over coffee, or after a meeting, or in the hallway. And I think they're more powerful than we give them credit for. Luna: And if you've gotten something out of this show, a couple of dollars a month is genuinely what keeps these going. Buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, if that's something you've found valuable. Lucas: Yeah, it really does make a difference. Small amounts, real impact. Luna: Now, back to informal mentorship. I've had a few of those, and they weren't planned. They just emerged from working closely with someone on a project. Lucas: And that's the key, right? They emerge. You can't force them. But you can create the conditions for them. And I think there's a framework for that, something like the three pillars of informal mentorship: proximity, reciprocity, and curiosity. Luna: Proximity first. That makes sense. You have to be around the person. Lucas: Right. Not just physically, but in the same professional orbit. You see them in meetings, you're on the same email threads, you're working toward the same quarterly goals. That's when mentorship can spark, because you're encountering real problems together, not hypothetical ones. Luna: So it's less about asking someone to be your mentor and more about working alongside them in a way that naturally leads to advice and guidance. Lucas: Exactly. And there's a classic example from the tech world. A few years ago, a junior software engineer at a large tech company found herself sitting next to a senior architect at a hackathon. They weren't on the same team, but they were in the same room, working through similar problems. By the end of the weekend, she'd learned more about system design than in months of formal training. That's proximity. Luna: That's a great story. And I bet the reciprocity piece came into play too. She probably brought something to the table. Lucas: Yeah, reciprocity is the second pillar. It's not about keeping score, but the relationship has to feel mutual. She might have helped him document his code or test a new library. The point is, both people get something out of it, even if it's not perfectly balanced. Luna: So it's not a one-way street. The mentor gets something too, maybe just the satisfaction of helping, or a fresh perspective on a problem. Lucas: And that's often enough. But there's also a subtle thing: when you offer genuine help, you signal that you're not just there to take. That builds trust. And trust is the real currency of informal mentorship. Luna: Then the third pillar is curiosity. That's about asking good questions, right? Lucas: Yes. Curiosity is what turns a casual interaction into a learning moment. Instead of just nodding along when someone explains a decision, you ask why they chose that approach. Or you ask what they'd do differently. Those questions invite the other person to share their thinking, and that's when mentorship happens. Luna: I've seen that in my own career. There's a senior editor I used to work with. I would always ask her about her editing process, not just for feedback on my pieces, but about how she structured a narrative. She told me later that my questions made her reflect on her own practice. That was a mentorship, even though we never called it that. Lucas: And that's the beauty of it. It doesn't have the label, but it has the substance. And I think that's why informal mentorships often outperform formal ones. There's no performance pressure, no obligation. Both people are there because they want to be. Luna: So how do you actually cultivate these, then? You said you can't force them, but you can create the conditions. Lucas: I think it comes down to being intentional about your environment. If you're in an office, position yourself near people you respect. If you're remote, volunteer for cross-functional projects where you'll interact with senior folks. And then, when you're in those spaces, be curious. Ask questions that show you're thinking. Luna: And what about the reciprocity part? How do you make sure you're giving back without it feeling forced? Lucas: It's often small things. Share an article you think they'd like, offer to take notes in a meeting, or help them solve a minor problem. The key is to be genuinely helpful, not transactional. If you're just doing it to get something, people can see through that. Luna: So it's about being a good colleague first, and a mentee second. Lucas: Exactly. And there's a research angle here. A study from the Journal of Applied Psychology found that informal mentorships are associated with higher job satisfaction and lower turnover, even more so than formal programs. The reason, they speculate, is that informal relationships are more organic and therefore more aligned with actual needs. Luna: That's a strong argument for not waiting for a formal mentorship program at work. You can start creating your own opportunities. Lucas: And it doesn't have to be someone above you. Peer mentorships are a thing too. Sometimes the person who's a year ahead of you is the best guide because they just went through what you're going through. Luna: That's a good point. I've learned a ton from colleagues at my level who had a different perspective or a different skill set. It's not always about seniority. Lucas: Right. And the thing is, informal mentorships are also more adaptable. They can evolve as your career changes. You might start with someone as a sounding board, and years later, they become a collaborator or even a sponsor. Luna: Sponsor. That's an important distinction. A mentor gives advice, but a sponsor actively opens doors for you. Can informal relationships turn into sponsorships? Lucas: Absolutely. And that's one of the most powerful outcomes. When someone has seen you work up close, they're more likely to recommend you for opportunities. That's sponsorship, and it often grows out of the trust built in an informal mentorship. Luna: So how do you know if you're in a mentorship? Is there a sign? Lucas: I think you know it when you're regularly seeking that person's opinion, and they're giving you honest feedback that's not just praise. That's a real mentorship. And you can acknowledge it, not with a formal title, but just by saying something like, 'I really value your perspective on this.' Luna: That's a good way to reinforce the relationship without making it awkward. Lucas: And there's also the flip side. You can offer to be an informal mentor to someone else. That's a great way to develop your own skills, particularly leadership and communication. And it creates a culture where these relationships are normal. Luna: I like that. It's not just about what you can get, but what you can give. And that aligns with the reciprocity pillar. Lucas: Exactly. And to wrap this up, I think the takeaway is to stop waiting for a formal mentorship to be assigned to you. Instead, look around at the people you work with, and ask yourself: who do I respect, and how can I create more opportunities to learn from them? And then be a good colleague in return. Luna: And don't forget to be curious. Ask the questions that open doors. Lucas: Yeah. Because the best mentorships aren't announced. They're built, one conversation at a time.