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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just-Layers of Sensitivity: The Path of the Just 9.15.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  On page 340-4345 all prove this following point and that is
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  there are layers and levels to being good you in every area.
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  It's not just simply check the box and that's it.
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  Check the box of niceness, check the nice of character, check the
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  box of learning. There's such a thing.
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  There's always different layers and different levels, and it's
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  always little degrees of sensitivity that a person can
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  have. If there is no end to have a
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  sensitive person can be no end to how dedicated a person can
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  be. What does that do for us to tell
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  the person that if you love something enough, you will do
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  more? I don't think that you just have
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  to check a box or reach a certain level and that's it.
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  There is no tier that you're reaching.
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  You're done with that topic. There's always more to.
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  Go. Let's see examples you know.
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  Rob I I always wondered why good people seem to buy Joe Beta.
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  And you know that the number one question of all the time, that's
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  the way it is. It is a number one question, but
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  should have been. We're not exactly, but should
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  have been. I do not have the answer, but
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  should have been. When he told the guard Hashem,
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  please don't show your back to me.
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  According to Hashim, he was saying to Hashim, show me your
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  front, which means show me how, why you do what you do in this
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  specific area. There's no answer to us, right?
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  The only answer that an outsider can take away is and that these
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  things happen not to them. I know what happens to them, but
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  for us, they have reasons for us.
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  It could be an atonement us, it can be your protection for us.
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  It can be a lesson for us, it can be an inspiration, a
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  motivation. All those things are true for
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  us, not for them. For them, I have no idea.
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  Now let's see back to how I think.
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  Now here's the example, number one on page 244.
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  I think when I it says Shalu Tami Davis Rabbi, but my doctor,
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  I mean, what helped you reach a long life, Amar Lahem.
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  His answer was Miyamai Loesch Tandy would talk about more just
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  a villa. I didn't use the restroom within
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  format of praying, which is not really a major deal in our eyes.
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  Look, can he DHM the Cavarotta as we mentioned he last week I
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  did not provide or give my friend a nickname and I also
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  never missed the mitzvah of Kedush.
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  OK, never gave my friend a nickname means I never insulted
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  my friend. That's what it means not even a
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  half away. We gave you the examples last
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  week of little of this and Shorty dot and all those chubby.
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  This was all not so friendly nicknames.
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  I would never be willing to give my friend that kind.
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  Why ask the king? Well, this is my day.
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  Everyone had a nickname, right? So it's saying over here like
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  the Mafia, it's saying over here it's it's an insult one way or
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  another, it's a hint to something.
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  And therefore this Robin avoided it all.
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  Cross. Now I came to Kedush.
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  She's saying I did Kedush always.
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  I always refer to myself Kedush. Big deal.
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  What's the deal as follows. IMA Zikenai.
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  He had an old mother, He says Pennsylvania Mahat.
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  One time we didn't have enough money to pay for Kedush for
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  wine. Mukhra kipa Shibhiro Shah, My
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  mother sold her doily her head covering the via Liki douche and
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  she gave me wine for Ki douche. I think he's part of our family.
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  Where we're true, you have your concept of going all the way,
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  the showing us how far a person can go when it comes to caring
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  about a mitzvah. She was definitely absolved.
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  She doesn't own wine. She doesn't have the money for
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  wine. No one told her to sell her
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  clothing, but she went above and beyond.
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  That's a Hasil is a Hasil is a person who thinks and acts about
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  above and beyond. She was definitely absolved.
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  She didn't have the money. She had the seller covering,
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  however Omram made me doubt the Hasidut.
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  However back to our point, it's great to be above.
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  It's great to do more. She did more.
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  I'll say I can not because she's obligate, where is her son
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  obligate, but rather because she wants to go all the way.
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  And the idea of being Hasid is take your things that you like
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  as a Jew and take them to the Max.
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  Don't stop open mouth. Similarly regarding.
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  What do you call a woman? Is that like that you call her
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  Hasid? Hasid as well, absolutely woman
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  could this example was a woman. The woman have the requirement
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  to be sensitive absolutely and probably be more sensitive.
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  The woman have the requirement to do theremans foot 1000%
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  right, and they do have certain areas and they're extremely
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  dedicated to in fact, you probably see the mita of Hasidut
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  If I can argue with our wives more than you see there with us
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  somebody's and my wife goes over the top and it's our areas.
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  OK, Prayer her to feel that is better than my to feel that.
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  I'll be honest, she's a hot seat in that area, right.
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  Sensitivity. Women have more of a test and
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  they are therefore have more of an application of sensitivity.
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  They talk with their friends and their sisters and then people
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  always getting insulted and that's always be careful that
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  I'm over. That's part of the meda of
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  sensitivity. All right, That's part of their
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  way. It's how it works.
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  My doctor has to do it. I was sick in a woman has to
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  pray. A woman has to pray at least
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  once, some more, twice and do not have to prayer a beat.
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  That's the fact I Rabbi say they shouldn't prayer a beat.
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  I don't get off because it's now climbed by.
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  They don't have to pray at least once.
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  Do so we all. That's not in your father's
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  book. That's Manhattans, though.
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  Uh huh. In your father's book for woman.
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  That's it. I'm in here.
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  I don't think so. His father was the first one to
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  make a woman, she told I. But right never.
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  So could a woman dress prayer in cop?
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  So could this be one prayer every day?
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  They can even call you. Yeah, but they don't know this.
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  There have been so many discussions about a woman, how
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  to pray, how not to overdo it, all these things.
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  They're they're they're inclined to pray a lot because they have
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  that love, because they have that connection.
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  They're inclined not Teeley much are bad.
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  They're doing all those things and in fact, oftentimes they
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  have to be calmed down. In my opinion, always is,
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  although they should be calmed down time to time.
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  You never want to calm a person down when they are a healthy
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  person. They're not not healthy.
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  They're mentally healthy. They just have a very strong
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  connection to Hashem. A woman has a stronger
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  connection to Hashem naturally than a man does.
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  One of the reasons why we have moment swell than they do.
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  They don't need as many of as well as we do to connect the
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  guard. It's not just for a woman's
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  class, it's a reality. They have a strong connection
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  and because that the tifila has more fervor and more excitement.
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  That's the way it is now another example of being a Hasid you
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  have in your service and we just mentioned Kedush tifila.
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  The other one is, like we said, this idea of not giving a friend
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  the nickname means you want to avoid hurting a person even
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  slightly. My favorite topic, the number
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  one topic that a person had to think about in life is a
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  character has layers. Character has stages, it has
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  different degrees. I'll give you an example that
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  came up yesterday. Can't give you a classic
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  example. My friends, I got on me
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  yesterday and he says I have a challenge.
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  What's his challenge? He says this is not going to
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  sound like a challenge to you, but it's a real 1.
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  He has a job and he has a coworker in the same job with a
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  a run up in Midrash. OK.
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  They sit, these boys sit down there and they're the ones that
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  boys ask questions to listen to his challenge.
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  The boys asked him to give a class.
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  Doesn't sound like a challenge to me.
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  Beautiful. He's a very exciting guy.
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  The boys like him. He's a young guy in the same
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  room. At the same time, there's
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  another rabbi who was an older rabbi who was not as exciting,
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  who was not as guys into the boy who doesn't have the same
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  capability of giving you a class Classic issue.
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  The boys came to him as a Co worker.
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  So he approached the rabbi telling him, you know, I have a
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  job, you have a job, I'm going to give a class.
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  Father, you give the class 1st, we'll rotate you give it first.
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  All right, how's that? Good move so far.
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  Other rabbi gets white in the face.
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  They told me he got white in the face yesterday because he got
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  nervous. He's not prepared to give a
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  class. At the same time, he's not
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  really someone in the mood. Is the hint for his coworker,
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  the younger guy, to give a stronger, better, more powerful
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  class. You know, get all the boys
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  involved and a little excited. Now, what's like this is a major
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  challenge. We're talking about Torah.
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  We're talking about a person doing his job, right?
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  Sounds like a case goes, do you think?
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  I told my friend yesterday, I said, I'll tell you the truth.
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  This is where life comes in. You think it's Torah, you think
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  it's your requirement and it's your job to do what you want to
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  do. I said if you're not sensitive,
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  if you don't figure out a way to make sure that the other person
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  feels right in the process. Doesn't mean don't give it, give
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  the class, but figure out a way to do the dance.
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  What's the dance? For example, don't bring all the
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  boys out of the Bama Josh while the other rabbi is there.
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  Do it at a different time. You know, give the other rabbi a
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  proper cover. Involve him in your planning.
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  Figure out a way. But that's what sensitivity
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  comes in. And there are layers of
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  sensitivity in life. There are endless examples of
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  how a person can be sensitive. Endless.
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  That's a very common item. This is a very common item in
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  the rabbi in the teaching world. And if you don't have
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  sensitivity, you can literally really hurt a person and you can
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  say it's in the name of Todah now at the same time if you're
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  overly careful. This is a good person.
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  Good people. True.
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  We're talking about good people. You don't.
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  Think about other people. Yes.
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  We're not addressing people who are bad, bad people as the same
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  Yiddish Zeic cosunt. Let them figure themselves out.
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  All these challenges of the people who are good people, good
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  people have the flaws and face the challenge that we're talking
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  about. When they're doing something you
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  think, is this the right thing? To a good person has to have
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  sensitivity. If we got to deal with
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  situations in life, that's our job.
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  You know you have a some ha see, they have a great day, but
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  they're not Spotify. There you go.
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  You have a some ha. How do you deal with the some
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  ha? I'll give you 1000 examples,
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  right? You have a some ha every guest
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  walks in. How much time do you spend with
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  them? Say what everybody?
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  How do you dance with people? Everybody say hello to everybody
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  or do you invite? Well, you're not about you can't
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  about everybody, right? Again, how do you dance?
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  How much do you dance? Who you go over to?
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  How much time do you spend with them?
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  How much do you talk to them? What do you say to them?
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  How about the people who go to the party?
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  What kind of result do they give?
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  What kind of common words do they give?
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  There are endless and upon endless examples.
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  I had a thing I give you some was passionate about by my
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  backyard. We had a little get together for
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  the families in honor of my baby daughter.
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  OK, very nice. Now it was a family only, but I
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  have a neighbor who lives next doors who could see my backyard,
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  who's in the backyard, who could see the backyard, and I know
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  them. They're not going to realize
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  it's family only. They can't really tell.
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  You just see people. You just see people I don't know
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  whose family is not family. So we had to invite and we
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  didn't invite. The only outsider was my
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  neighbor. They don't really fit in the
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  picture at all. No relation to the situation at
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  all, but they were invited. That's even weirder.
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  But yeah, but they felt after the party, the end of the body.
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  Good relationship. With their neighbors, that's
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  sure. At the end of the party, they
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  came up with us and they said, we just want to thank you for
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  inviting us. We looked around and we realized
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  we're the only one who is in family and we feel so honored.
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  That's what they said. They could have said we feel so
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  weird, but they say you feel so honored that you included us,
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  Right. So that's an example.
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  It's it's a thought. It's you have to expand your
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  mind and look at the whole zone, not just our vision ahead of us.
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  I look at the entire peripheral vision of what's going on and
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  what people are taking in. You have a party, look at the
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  whole picture. Person has he notices someone
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  dealing with something. Look at the whole picture.
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  Have to absorb the whole picture in order to have proper
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  sensitivity in life. And if you do say you're a
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  Hasid, and if you don't do so, you can be hurting people left
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  and right and not even knowing. I know people who have made some
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  of life's biggest mistakes, OK, who have caused unbelievable
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  disaster and sensitivity in their fights.
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  And they probably, they didn't know what they were doing for
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  years. That's how bad it was.
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  They didn't know what they did. They never knew what they did.
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  Why 'cause it was so focused on themselves or what's in front of
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  them and on their own growth and their own building in any area,
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  and not really focused on what God wants.
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  It's all about Hashem, the bottom line, and if I Shim were
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  here, he think he would want you to hurt the other guy for the
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  sake of your building. No, he wouldn't.
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  You don't think he has another way forward.
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  He always has a way forward without hurting people.
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  And it's our only say. You want our challenge to do
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  things as a Hasid the things which is seeing the whole
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  person. That's what he's saying over
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  here. All right.
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  Now holds it as to have a good relationship with vinegar.
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  Matter of the Barclay we had before Michael came to his
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  family with tiny people that owned the building and they used
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  to take care of. If she had any problem he was
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  there taking care of her. Used to watch my sister make
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  sure that the boy was good with. Her friends are better neighbors
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  than. This I know, yeah.
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  We know he had. When my sister got engaged, she
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  invited them. Great.
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  They were there. They were in the house.
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  You know, they were tremendous people.
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  Tremendous. They couldn't ask for better
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  people. That happened.
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  OK, It's my opinion. Always people, this happens all
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  the time. Their family gets bigger.
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  So if they happen to not have a relationship with one uncle,
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  sibling, even hash along, that could be you.
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  I live with a family. I don't really feel it.
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  Fine. You peel the onion and then you
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  peel the onion and then you peel the onion and eventually it gets
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  small and eventually it doesn't feel the same and eventually
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  life is not as good. You know, there are people
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  pitching in for you and helping you and being there for you, and
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  it's not worth it to get started down that mindset.
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  And persons say to themselves always, I don't want to allow
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  even one person if I can, I don't have even one person who
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  has a significant real gripe against me.
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  Of course, I don't always have the ability to do that.
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  It's hard to do that. Life is life, business is
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  business. You know, these things are
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  difficult. But just because our families
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  and our worlds have expanded doesn't mean we're able to peel
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  the onion more. I have to peel even less.
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  They're doing something wrong. I remember, you know, going to
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  Roshana. Supposedly there's no time.
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  You could barely make it to to touch Live Today.
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  I remember getting above the table, going to my aunts, each
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  and everyone. Now my aunts, my mother and
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  father's aunts. So they're my great aunts.
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  We visited every single one of them on the holiday, but we
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  still made a decision. I don't know what happened, but
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  everything, well, it's everything got diluted.
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  People lost the importance of how special to have your.
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  Your parents, you know, the old days, you used to do that all
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  the time. My ponders.
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  Yeah, me to his family all the time.
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  I wish on TV we didn't have to do those things.
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  Yeah. Life got bigger and small at the
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  same time. Life got much more busy with the
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  vocals or do whatever, but not involving those of course.
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  We didn't get bit saying getting busier, that means, you know,
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  other important things, you know, but they've lost that
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  item. So then what happened?
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  Then they get diluted, then their own aunts and uncles mean
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  less and then even the cavort for the parents are less.
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  They're all because of that item.
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  And that now people, you know, their friends are more important
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  than their family, very close. They're more closer with their
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  friends than they are with their.
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  Families all in a channel. Weddings, yeah.
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  You can't do all the time and they you save, you see 40-50
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  guys, they all love each other. They all be rich in pains.
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  No, they're all together. Fucking, but I believe all
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  that's OK. But not instead of your family,
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  right? The way to level.
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  Go look at grandparents at a wedding now.
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  They, they turned into like roadkill.
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  They could, they could get trampled out at any moment and
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  you just got to get them out of there.
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  It's wild. We're I I look at a wedding
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  video from my cousin from the 80s right?
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  So they come up all reserved for the grandparents.
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  The front. It was all about that the world
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  has changed. When you see like maybe 3 hours.
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  Later then, the friends got involved.
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  Do you know in certain places you remember the knows that
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  first dance is always great. The first dances are only the
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  elders, right? The opening dances are the
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  elders and I have seen even in the Shiva circle as I was a
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  fisherman where the young guy is jumping.
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  I say, guys, this is levels of respect.
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  This isn't even saying sure. Oh, we have a world.