Latest / Feel Really Good: Empowering Meditations / What If You Don’t Need To Fix Anything?

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What If You Don’t Need To Fix Anything? · Feel Really Good: Empowering Meditations

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SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Brittany Atlas,
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SPEAKER_00: creator of Feel Really Good on Substack,
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SPEAKER_00: and I'm excited to be here to share my article with you.
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SPEAKER_00: What if you don't need to fix anything?
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SPEAKER_00: Why I put down my self-help books and stopped trying to fix everything about myself.
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SPEAKER_00: I've spent years, nope,
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SPEAKER_00: decades trying to fix myself,
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SPEAKER_00: looking outside of myself for answers to being a better human,
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SPEAKER_00: how to make less mistakes and how to feel at home within myself.
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SPEAKER_00: As though someone out there will give me the magical roadmap to feeling better
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SPEAKER_00: about myself and teach me how to accept who I am.
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SPEAKER_00: And throughout this process,
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SPEAKER_00: I've been muscling my way into an even deeper perfectionist loop masked
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SPEAKER_00: as self-help work and practices.
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SPEAKER_00: I've been utilizing the healing space as a way to polish myself into
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SPEAKER_00: a palatable version of me that I think the world wants to see rather than turning
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SPEAKER_00: towards all parts of me And building a deeper relationship with
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SPEAKER_00: who I truly am deep down.
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SPEAKER_00: The Step Away from Self-Help.
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SPEAKER_00: I recently stopped reading a few books that I was in the middle of,
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SPEAKER_00: and I haven't decided yet if I want to finish them.
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SPEAKER_00: They're actually really wonderful books and very helpful
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SPEAKER_00: because they have incredible scientific information and have been
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SPEAKER_00: an incredible reflection back to me about why I am the way I am and how I relate to
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SPEAKER_00: the world.
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SPEAKER_00: But I'm at a crossroads right now because I'm a huge sciency geek and I love diving
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SPEAKER_00: into the why behind how our bodies and minds work.
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SPEAKER_00: But I'm also starting to notice a shift within myself.
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SPEAKER_00: A shift towards aligning more with the energies I've been holding back
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SPEAKER_00: or covering up for a long time, rather than focusing on what I need to fix.
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SPEAKER_00: To some people, that might sound like spiritual bypassing.
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SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'll just think positive,
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SPEAKER_00: align with my future self, step into the energy of who I want to be.
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SPEAKER_00: But that's not what's happening here.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm not covering anything up.
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SPEAKER_00: I've actually been leaning more and more into truly feeling my emotions as they arise.
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SPEAKER_00: And it's been not only challenging, but one of the most freeing experiences of my life.
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SPEAKER_00: An emotional being.
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SPEAKER_00: I am a Pisces, a water sign said to be a dreamer and deeply emotional.
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SPEAKER_00: And I really am an extremely emotional person.
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SPEAKER_00: I feel things deeply within myself.
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SPEAKER_00: I can't watch another person cry without tearing up myself.
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SPEAKER_00: If I read a book or watch a movie or TV show, I know logically that it's not real.
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SPEAKER_00: Yet I still feel the pain and heartache in my body as if it's happening right
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SPEAKER_00: in front of me or happening to me.
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SPEAKER_00: My heart has an immensely challenging time separating a story from reality.
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SPEAKER_00: But as someone who's moved through life being told by society not to cry,
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SPEAKER_00: to set my emotions aside,
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SPEAKER_00: to toughen up and grow thicker skin,
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SPEAKER_00: as someone who's been asked hundreds of times why I'm so emotional
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SPEAKER_00: or you're not crying, are you?
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SPEAKER_00: I'm now at a point in my life where I'm leaning into feeling even more
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SPEAKER_00: and allowing myself to feel everything deeply.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't have this all figured out yet or probably never will.
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SPEAKER_00: But I actually think feeling is my superpower.
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SPEAKER_00: I've noticed that when I get curious about an emotion,
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SPEAKER_00: instead of trying to stuff it down,
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SPEAKER_00: wipe my tears quickly,
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SPEAKER_00: or tell myself the opposite of what's making me feel that way,
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SPEAKER_00: it moves through me not only faster, but I'm actually able to integrate it.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm able to process it.
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SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't just sit inside me and grow into something that's too heavy for me to hold.
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SPEAKER_00: That might not be a lightning bolt revelation,
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SPEAKER_00: but I genuinely want to ask you,
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SPEAKER_00: the next time something comes up, do you actually let yourself feel it?
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SPEAKER_00: Or do you reach for the nearest exit?
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SPEAKER_00: Building the relationship to self.
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SPEAKER_00: A few questions that I've been asking myself in those moments,
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SPEAKER_00: maybe they're useful for you too, are what am I feeling right now?
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SPEAKER_00: Where do I feel it in my body?
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SPEAKER_00: What's actually coming up for me?
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SPEAKER_00: And what story am I telling myself about this?
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SPEAKER_00: The more I let myself be with things as they arise,
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SPEAKER_00: rather than resisting my emotions or getting frustrated with myself
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SPEAKER_00: for having big emotions,
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SPEAKER_00: the less interested I am in diagnosing myself with some issue,
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SPEAKER_00: something society wants to put me in a box for, so I can figure out how to fix it.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm really starting to learn that there's nothing I need to fix about myself.
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SPEAKER_00: The only thing I need to do is lean more and more into loving and accepting myself,
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SPEAKER_00: feeling my emotions as they arise,
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SPEAKER_00: and building a relationship with myself so deep that I know I can get
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SPEAKER_00: through anything, that I know I'm always going to be there for myself.
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SPEAKER_00: I've started to feel so much more free because I'm not abandoning myself anymore.
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SPEAKER_00: I abandoned myself for decades through my perfectionism and my frustration towards myself.
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SPEAKER_00: Letting my worries keep me stuck in a loop of not liking myself.
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SPEAKER_00: Now, don't get me wrong.
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SPEAKER_00: The majority of the time I'm pretty happy and I really do like myself,
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SPEAKER_00: especially these last few years where I've leaned more and more into what it's like
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SPEAKER_00: to be full Brittany.
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SPEAKER_00: But there are still many things I have a hard time accepting about myself.
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SPEAKER_00: And one of the shifts I'm noticing is that the more I lean towards my discomfort,
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SPEAKER_00: And the more I lean towards myself with curiosity in moments that are challenging
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SPEAKER_00: and emotions that are less than ideal,
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SPEAKER_00: the less I'm looking outside myself to find a solution to the way I am as though I'm
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SPEAKER_00: a problem.
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SPEAKER_00: Simple, but not always easy.
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SPEAKER_00: It's hard to explain because I'm not doing anything enlightening or revolutionary.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm literally just allowing myself to feel more.
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SPEAKER_00: And I'm catching my thoughts and my negative self-talk so much quicker,
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SPEAKER_00: which honestly just started with catching it at all,
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SPEAKER_00: noticing that I was saying things like that to myself.
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SPEAKER_00: And then it was catching it again and again and again, just starting with simple awareness.
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SPEAKER_00: But I'm catching my thoughts so quickly now that I'm able to not just pivot
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SPEAKER_00: and say something positive to myself,
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SPEAKER_00: but I'm actually bringing a kinder,
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SPEAKER_00: More compassionate presence to the part of myself that is hurting.
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SPEAKER_00: The part that's worried.
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SPEAKER_00: The part that's sick of getting migraines.
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SPEAKER_00: Sick of feeling the world's injustices within myself.
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SPEAKER_00: Sick of feeling like no matter how hard I work,
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SPEAKER_00: I won't be rewarded with the same energy back to me.
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SPEAKER_00: So I'm not trying to push down or cover up any of those parts of myself anymore.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm letting myself see them.
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SPEAKER_00: And I'm asking myself questions in those moments.
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SPEAKER_00: So I can understand those parts of me on deeper levels.
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SPEAKER_00: As wonderful as self-help books can be, and I'm a huge self-help junkie.
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SPEAKER_00: I freaking love learning about myself and evolving and growing and healing and all that jazz.
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SPEAKER_00: There's something shifting in me into a space of turning within more.
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SPEAKER_00: Letting myself just sit with me.
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SPEAKER_00: And rather than using my logical thinking mind to come up with a solution...
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SPEAKER_00: I'm softening into my heart more and listening to the parts of myself
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SPEAKER_00: that have been screaming for decades for me to hear them.
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SPEAKER_00: I want to thank you so much for being on this journey with me as I keep coming home to myself.
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SPEAKER_00: I sure hope that you're finding your way home too.
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SPEAKER_00: Feel free to send me a message or share in the comments of this post what resonated
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SPEAKER_00: with you the most.
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SPEAKER_00: So if you are a journaler and you want to do some reflection on...
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SPEAKER_00: Feel
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SPEAKER_00: free to become a paid subscriber on Substack.
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SPEAKER_00: For just $8 a month,
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SPEAKER_00: you will have access to every ritual,
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SPEAKER_00: every life practice that I share to help you come home to yourself.
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SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here and I look forward to sharing another practice
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SPEAKER_00: and another article with you again next week.