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75. Turn those breakdowns into breakthroughs · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:02
  Do you ever feel lost and completely wanna give up?
• 0:06
  Is everything chaotic in your world?
• 0:08
  Well, you could be on the brink of a breakthrough.
• 0:11
  In today's episode, I'm going to give you the seven steps to turning those breakdowns to breakthroughs.
• 0:19
  You're listening to the Stop the Mind Screw podcast.
• 0:22
  I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
• 0:23
  I have been a certified fitness trainer and certified life coach since 2002.
• 0:28
  On this channel, we talk about fitness, having a growth mindset, habits, and even some Reality Transurfing.
• 0:36
  Today we are discussing turning those breakdowns into breakthroughs.
• 0:41
  It is possible.
• 0:43
  Let's get into the episode.
• 0:46
  So we're gonna discuss the reason why your breakdowns may not be turning into breakthroughs.
• 0:52
  We're gonna discuss seven very important steps to turning those breakdowns into breakthroughs and how you can shift today.
• 1:02
  I once had a mentor tell me, Chaos proceeds the breakthrough.
• 1:07
  I was in the middle of a huge crisis.
• 1:09
  I had been through many crisis situations before.
• 1:13
  In fact, I had spent eight years in therapy and had a diagnosis of complex post-traumatic stress disorder, but I graduated from therapy.
• 1:22
  I know very deeply how to handle crisis.
• 1:26
  In fact, as a life coach, I teach others how to handle crisis situations and turn those breakdowns into breakthrough.
• 1:35
  There I was caught in the middle of this serious situation in 2018.
• 1:41
  My world was turning upside down.
• 1:45
  But I turned that situation around.
• 1:48
  I followed these seven steps and broke free from my mind screw because really and truly that breakdown was just a mind screw.
• 1:58
  Chaos does not have to proceed.
• 2:00
  The breakthrough.
• 2:01
  In fact, today's episode is all about how to have clarity in your breakthrough.
• 2:10
  Let's discuss.
• 2:13
  We spend our lives giving our power away 24 hours a day whenever life throws us a curve ball.
• 2:19
  We take things personally that my friend is ego.
• 2:24
  Make the choice to keep the power, empower yourself because you are titanium, and that is what we're gonna talk about today.
• 2:33
  It is your choice to give your power away.
• 2:37
  The key word here is choice.
• 2:39
  Choice is going to come up a lot today.
• 2:44
  You know, life is all about energy.
• 2:48
  When you have no energy, you look and feel, blah.
• 2:54
  You give your energy away when you get upset.
• 2:57
  When you get reactive, your buttons get pushed.
• 3:01
  Traffic, weather, you don't control your thoughts and emotions.
• 3:05
  Take charge of your emotions today.
• 3:10
  Step number one.
• 3:12
  What is your purpose?
• 3:14
  If there is a why, you can handle anything.
• 3:19
  One of the greatest teachers of this of purpose is Victor Frankel.
• 3:25
  Frankel was an Austrian psychologist who was caught up in the concentration camps in Germany.
• 3:31
  He lost his family, yet he coined this very important quote.
• 3:37
  "Everything can be taken from a man.
• 3:39
  But one thing, the last of human freedom.
• 3:44
  To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.
• 3:48
  To choose one's own way." Victor Frankel founded Logotherapy, a School of Psychotherapy that describes a search for life's meaning as the central human motivational force.
• 4:06
  Think about the breakdowns you've been through in the past.
• 4:09
  Purpose is what will get you through.
• 4:12
  What is the environment you want?
• 4:15
  What was the environment you wanted during your breakdown?
• 4:19
  Think about that for a moment.
• 4:21
  Was it peace?
• 4:22
  Was it joy?
• 4:23
  Was it understanding?
• 4:25
  Then let that be your purpose.
• 4:30
  Step number two, responsibility.
• 4:33
  Responsibility gets a bad rap.
• 4:35
  And I do several videos on responsibility in the past, but responsibility is where your power lies.
• 4:42
  Responsibility is a perspective or an interpretation.
• 4:48
  It is your choice though.
• 4:52
  Let's take a breakup, for example.
• 4:56
  My girlfriend broke up with me.
• 4:59
  You say that little sentence is a fact.
• 5:04
  How you choose to interpret it is your responsibility.
• 5:09
  You can say, this is an opportunity, or this is a gift.
• 5:13
  This is a good thing.
• 5:15
  Granted, I'm gonna miss my girlfriend.
• 5:17
  I'm gonna be sad, but I know there's opportunity on the other.
• 5:23
  Every crisis is a creative opportunity.
• 5:26
  When you look at it like that, everything shifts.
• 5:29
  Someone has said that the greatest cause of ulcers is mountain climbing.
• 5:33
  Over mole hills ulcers are caused by climbing Mole Hill Mountain.
• 5:41
  When climbing those molehills like mountains, you are in what is called reactivity.
• 5:47
  You are nervous, you are shaky, you are unsure, you're doubtful, you're fearful.
• 5:53
  Then your body responds.
• 5:57
  Fear can and does take a toll on your body, but so can a smile.
• 6:05
  Science has proven it.
• 6:06
  When you smile, your body feels better.
• 6:11
  Take traffic.
• 6:12
  For example, some people I know change personalities in traffic.
• 6:17
  You choose, There's that word again.
• 6:22
  You choose something different because traffic or the breakup or the crisis that's going on is neutral.
• 6:33
  Interpret the opportunity.
• 6:35
  At the end of the day, you are responsible for your interpretations.
• 6:40
  You are not the victim to the reaction you may have.
• 6:44
  You give your power away when you do this.
• 6:49
  So I have to bring up the term toxic positivity here because this is going to come to play.
• 6:55
  I know it.
• 6:56
  That's my most polarizing topic because I cannot stand that term.
• 7:02
  Toxic positivity, and actually the word itself is an oxymoron.
• 7:07
  Think about it for a moment.
• 7:10
  It is forced positivity.
• 7:12
  When you call positivity toxic, if you don't wanna see somebody as that, that you lost to a death as being an angel.
• 7:22
  Now that's your choice.
• 7:24
  That is your choice, and I get that.
• 7:26
  That may not be a place you are at right now, that you want to even see that way, but that choice comes with a price.
• 7:37
  You choose your hard..
• 7:39
  It's hard to lose somebody in death.
• 7:42
  It's hard to see it that way.
• 7:45
  It's also hard to see it as you are a victim.
• 7:51
  It's up to you.
• 7:52
  You choose your hard.
• 7:56
  Forced positivity comes from the scale of power versus force.
• 8:02
  The scales of consciousness when you are down in force, those are the bad levels.
• 8:08
  Those are the levels that you will have.
• 8:11
  A responsibility for your hard.
• 8:13
  It will be hard.
• 8:15
  It will be harder there when you're in anger, when you're in guilt, when you're in shame.
• 8:19
  But you also need to go through stages of grief.
• 8:22
  You cannot force positivity on somebody who's going through the stages of grief, so therefore, keep that in mind as we move forward and remember, it is your responsibility.
• 8:33
  And I have another video that I have done on the levels of consciousness, and I'm also going to be discussing this more in the future because it is super important to understand those levels and understand where you are on those levels and why it is force and why it is power, and it feels so much better in power.
• 8:57
  So when you think of the things in your life that you have to do, think about that for a moment.
• 9:04
  You have to go to work You have to clean the house, or your house will get dirty and you have to pay more for gas and groceries nowadays.
• 9:14
  But are you going to look at it through a place of force?
• 9:18
  Are you gonna look at it through a place of power?
• 9:21
  So let's talk about how we can look at this from a place of power.
• 9:26
  Change your interpretation of those have to statements to what you are blessed to and how that blessing serves my purpose.
• 9:38
  You've got to ask yourself that.
• 9:40
  How does this blessing serve my purpose?
• 9:43
  I am blessed to go to work today, which means I have a job, which is my purpose, to take care of my family.
• 9:51
  I am blessed to clean my house, which means I have a house to live in.
• 9:56
  I am blessed that I can even afford those groceries and gas, and I trust that I will always be blessed to because that is my purpose.
• 10:08
  We talked about purpose in the definite chief aim video that I did a few weeks ago.
• 10:13
  You could go back and look at that as well.
• 10:18
  And we're going to get to trust in a moment, but bottom line, you are not a victim of whatever reaction you have.
• 10:28
  You give your power away when you claim victim.
• 10:35
  Step number three, trust the process.
• 10:38
  I love this one.
• 10:40
  Process the emotion and transform that fear into faith.
• 10:46
  What's permanent is your attitude.
• 10:49
  You can still be happy and you can still be blessed.
• 10:53
  You have more of a probability.
• 10:57
  Of it shifting when you trust.
• 11:00
  Because when you don't trust, you resist it.
• 11:03
  And we all know what we resist persists.
• 11:08
  You give the situation your power, when you resist it.
• 11:15
  Have you ever been on a flight that gets really bumpy and turbulences all over the place?
• 11:20
  You know, your mind starts going 90 to nothing.
• 11:23
  Next thing you know, you picture the flight careening into the mountains or the ocean.
• 11:28
  Death and destruction are everywhere.
• 11:31
  Surrender to that fear.
• 11:33
  Surrender to that fear and trust the process.
• 11:37
  Transform that fear into faith.
• 11:42
  Faith is that feeling that everything is going to work out.
• 11:45
  Give the process a chance.
• 11:48
  Quit mind screwing yourself out of your power.
• 11:50
  It goes back to purpose.
• 11:53
  Is that purpose, love, peace, and joy is your purpose to make a difference.
• 12:00
  When you do this, the quality of your life completely shift.
• 12:05
  The plane is not going to crash.
• 12:07
  You can even trust the process of your own death.
• 12:11
  Look at traffic challenges in your, or challenges in your relationship, and even health challenges with faith.
• 12:20
  When life throws you a curve ball, I can trust that this process is an opportunity.
• 12:26
  Or a breakdown, I can give my power away or I can embrace it and trust the process.
• 12:33
  When you panic, you get out of the zone.
• 12:36
  You get out of flow.
• 12:38
  There is no power there.
• 12:40
  Relax and trust the process.
• 12:42
  There is a reason.
• 12:44
  They do say, do not panic in an emergency situation.
• 12:48
  Trust the process.
• 12:51
  Of course, it's easier said than done, but practice it, Try.
• 12:57
  Step number four, confront the situation.
• 13:01
  When I say confront the situation, I especially mean confront it with yourself.
• 13:07
  Have the conversation you need to have.
• 13:09
  Be willing to tell yourself the truth.
• 13:12
  Be willing to be held accountable.
• 13:15
  I see this so often with fitness.
• 13:18
  We need to confront our excuses and embrace it.
• 13:21
  And the gift of opportunity.
• 13:24
  Look at your results.
• 13:26
  This is where optimization data comes in handy.
• 13:30
  Take inventory of your wins and your losses.
• 13:35
  Ask yourself on a scale of one to 10, where am I?
• 13:39
  Health is both mental and physical.
• 13:42
  Relationships.
• 13:44
  Where am I on a scale of one to 10 and confronted head on?
• 13:49
  If that.
• 13:49
  If on that scale it is only a one, ask yourself, what is the blessing here?
• 13:56
  Step number five, integrity.
• 13:59
  What is integrity to you?
• 14:01
  I want you to think about that for a moment.
• 14:04
  To me, it is becoming one with what I communicate, what I do, and what I create.
• 14:11
  Think of your word.
• 14:12
  You can keep it or you can break it, or you could also negotiate it.
• 14:17
  Those three things, when you break your word, your self worth goes down.
• 14:22
  Your credibility goes down.
• 14:24
  Honor your word, honor your agreements.
• 14:27
  Dream it, Declare it.
• 14:29
  Deliver it.
• 14:31
  Weight loss.
• 14:32
  It could be as simple as a new commitment to yourself.
• 14:38
  Step number six, expand your comfort zone.
• 14:42
  Think about this new action expands your comfort zone.
• 14:45
  How does it do that?
• 14:47
  Challenge your limiting beliefs, expect more and get more.
• 14:51
  Expect little and you're gonna get little.
• 14:54
  I love this.
• 14:55
  What is your vision?
• 14:57
  Get very clear on this.
• 14:59
  And that also has to do with your purpose.
• 15:02
  And I did a video on this last week or a few weeks ago on the definite chief aim, and I will link it in the show notes cuz this is the second time I've mentioned it here.
• 15:13
  I love what is called artist date.
• 15:15
  For this very thing, and an artist's date is from the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.
• 15:21
  It is something as simple as taking yourself on a so-called date once a week to expand your comfort zone.
• 15:31
  And I like to incorporate hobbies when I go on my artist date.
• 15:36
  If your hobby is photography, which is, that is mine, you might take a weekly photo trip to pick up new creative ideas, get out of your comfort zone, and guess what happens when you do this?
• 15:48
  You gain confidence by going into uncomfortable places to grow.
• 15:55
  Step number seven, enthusiasm.
• 15:58
  The word enthusiasm comes from ethos, and I'm probably saying that wrong, but it means God within or inspired, but you choose it.
• 16:09
  There's that word again.
• 16:11
  Fear will kick in and the darkness will sat in.
• 16:16
  Enthusiasm is a choice.
• 16:18
  You don't fake it when you choose it.
• 16:21
  I'm just saying.
• 16:24
  Vince Lombardi, the famous coach once said,"If you are not fired up with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
• 16:32
  "If you're not all in, guess what?
• 16:35
  You're all out Celebrate those wins.
• 16:40
  Become enthusiastic.
• 16:45
  Add some pep to your step and watch your world change seriously with just enthusiasm.
• 16:52
  It will change, but you've gotta feel it from the inside.
• 16:56
  So in review, the reasons your breakdowns are not turning into breakthroughs are simple.
• 17:02
  Number one, we want to know our purpose.
• 17:05
  Number two, we want to be responsible for everything.
• 17:09
  Number three, trust the process.
• 17:12
  Number four, confront the situation.
• 17:15
  Number five, live from a place of integrity.
• 17:18
  Number six, expand your comfort zone.
• 17:22
  And number seven, live enthusiastically.
• 17:27
  So I hope today you learn something about having a breakthrough instead of a breakdown, and I hope you put these seven steps to work for you and I can't wait to see what you do with it.
• 17:45
  Thank you for spending part of your day with me.
• 17:47
  If you know someone who can benefit from this, please share it with them, and until next time, I'll see you next time.
• 17:54
  Peace out and Namste.