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375 | Conversations - Proverbs 18 · The Woman at the Well Ministries Podcast

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  Music.
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  Hello, friends, and welcome back to another podcast of Woman at the Well Ministries,
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  where we believe that all of us have to come to Jesus like the woman at the well in John chapter 4.
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  Our highest priority is making God real in your life.
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  Whether you are listening in our app, in your favorite podcasting app,
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  or on our website at watwm.org, we invite you to sit down with us as we look
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  to the scriptures to learn more about God and to strengthen your daily walk with Jesus Christ.
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  Living a life for Christ. She's a happy girl.
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  Music.
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  She's a happy girl.
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  In this episode of the woman at the well ministries podcast
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  join kim miller and erica close in a conversation as we walk with jesus in today's
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  conversation we continue a series on the book of proverbs and in today's podcast
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  we discuss the lessons learned in proverbs 18 hello everyone this is Erica Close,
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  and I am here with Kimberly Miller.
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  Hello, and thank you for joining us in this podcast of Woman at the Well Ministries
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  as we walk through Proverbs 18.
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  There are so many interesting themes in Proverbs 18, and we're going to look at three of them today.
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  There's a theme of where do we run when we have a problem or when we have struggles in our lives.
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  There's a whole theme woven throughout this proverb of the importance of how
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  we listen to others and how we respond.
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  And then there's a whole section similar to a lot of what we actually looked
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  at in Proverbs chapter 17 about the power of our words.
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  So much goodness can come from our words, and so much damage can come from our words.
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  So we're going to take a look at those three themes today.
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  But first, we're going to read the whole chapter. Would you like to start?
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  Sure. Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermedleth with all wisdom.
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  A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.
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  When the wicked cometh, then cometh also contempt, and with ignominy reproach.
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  The words of a man's mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
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  It is not good to accept the person of the wicked, to overthrow the righteous in judgment.
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  A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes.
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  A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.
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  The words of a tailbearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
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  He also that is slothful, and his work is brother to him that is a great waster.
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  The name of the Lord is a strong tower.
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  The righteous run us into it, and it is safe.
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  The rich man's wealth is his strong city, and as an high wall in his own conceit.
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  But destruction, the heart of a man, is haughty, and before honor is humility.
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  He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
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  The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear?
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  The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.
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  A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.
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  He that is first in his own cause seemeth just, but his neighbor cometh and
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  searcheth him. The lot causeth contentions to cease and parteth between the mighty.
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  A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and their contentions
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  are like the bars of a castle.
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  A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth,
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  and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.
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  Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
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  Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth a favor of the Lord.
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  The poor useth entreaties, but the rich answereth roughly.
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  A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that
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  sticketh closer than a brother.
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  So one of the first themes that starts out this proverb in Proverbs chapter
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  18 is that idea of where we run. And to me, that came out of verse 10.
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  And you know, when you think about just the answer to that question,
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  if we were just to ask ourselves, honestly, when you need to escape,
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  where do you go? Are you a person that hits the bottle?
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  Are you a person that picks up a bottle of pills?
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  Are you a person that goes to a friend?
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  Are you a person that goes to a wise friend? Or are you the person that goes
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  immediately to God in prayer and seeks his answers in scripture.
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  We've all heard it all of our life, that the answer to every question you have is in the word of God.
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  But few of us fully believe that to the extent that it's the word of God that
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  we go to immediately when trouble comes our way.
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  And what's hard is because you don't want to say, well, I believe that. I believe that.
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  I would never say I don't believe that the word of God is where I would go to.
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  But is there evidence for that in my life?
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  Amen. Do I do it? Data doesn't law. No.
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  So verse 10 says, the name of the Lord is a strong tower.
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  The righteous runneth into it and is safe. Those that are righteous know to run to the Lord.
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  He's their strength. He's their strong tower.
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  And notice they run toward him, not away from him.
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  God has a way that we are to live our lives.
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  And many people think that serving the Lord is just a big old set of do's and don'ts,
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  When the reality of it is God gives us parameters for our lives,
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  because when we stay within those parameters, we're in the center of his will.
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  And when we're in the center of his will, then we are promised the abundant
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  life he promises us in John 10, 10.
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  It's not because he's punitive. It's because he wants what's absolutely best for us.
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  So he sets the parameters for us to live this life so that we could live the best life possible.
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  Absolutely. The next two verses that we're going to look at,
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  11 and 12, are kind of showing us what not to do.
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  It's the example of who doesn't run to the Lord, who doesn't run to their strong tower.
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  11 and 12, the rich man's wealth is his strong city, and as a high wall in his own conceit.
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  Before destruction, the heart of man is haughty, and before honor is humility.
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  We've heard before that pride goes before a fall. Right. And those who trust
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  in riches will not last, right?
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  You can't run to your own wealth. You can't run to your own conceits.
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  You can't run to your own pride.
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  None of those things is going to make you safe. Verse 10 has that phrase, and is safe. Amen.
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  Hallelujah to the Lamb. I want to be safe in my strong tower.
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  So I think when we look at these verses that we talked about,
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  10, 11, and 12 on where we run, I think it's important that we truly make a
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  real honest reflection.
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  And if we find that we're not running directly to God through prayer and his
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  word, it's time to make a change.
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  It's time to humble ourselves and truly submit our whole heart to him like we
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  have spoken about, especially in Proverbs chapter 17.
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  But praise be to the Lord. He helps us understand kind of why we would do that in our next section.
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  Yeah. So the next theme that we look at is this theme of listening and responding
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  and how important it is to really listen before we speak.
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  And this proverb actually has a lot to say about that.
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  So if we start and we look in verse 13, he that answereth a matter before he
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  heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
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  Now, I will just confess right here. I often just want to spit out an answer
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  before I've heard the whole story.
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  It is in my nature and it's not good.
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  And, you know, I think that you're just being honest and vulnerable.
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  I think most of us are that way because I worked for a guy And you'd have to
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  give him the background of whatever it was you needed for him to help us.
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  And he would get caught on something you were giving him background that had
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  nothing to do with what you were asking him for.
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  And so when you finish your, you know, four minute spiel trying to get this
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  help you needed, he was answering a question you didn't even have.
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  Because it wasn't the question. It was a piece of the background.
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  Right. It was what caught his mind, and he just shut down and was literally
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  just talking about that because that's what was on his mind.
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  And we do that, you know, and we really want to say something,
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  and we start formulating our answer and oftentimes miss it all.
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  Because we're not listening.
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  And I think that happens so much in our prayer life. In Psalms 46,
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  10, he says to be still and know that he is God.
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  And I think we just get a whole big laundry list of do this,
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  do this, give me this, help this, Let's do that.
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  And we just never shut up. And we finish our laundry list. We say,
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  in Jesus' name, we pray and we're done.
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  But there is time we need to just be still and listen and know that he is.
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  Verse 15 says, the heart of the prudent getteth knowledge and the ear of the
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  wise seeketh knowledge. Amen.
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  We have to be. And so often we don't value and prize in our world.
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  But there's nothing feels better than being listened. And we all heard.
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  Right. We don't want to listen.
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  Because we want to be heard. You know, Stephen Covey is a wonderful man who
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  had a lot of really religious moral things in his leadership books.
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  And he used to say that we need to first seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
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  And if we would do that, because it requires listening before responding.
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  And so often we just don't. We just think what we have to say is far more important.
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  Than what you have to say. and you'll watch people talk over each other.
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  And some of that's passionate and enjoyable.
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  You'll watch Eric and every now and then we'll do that in this podcast.
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  But we're just so eager to get out what God has put in us.
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  But when we really are having a conversation, and if you really want to communicate
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  something, you have to have a listener and a speaker.
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  And that person has to be hearing what the speaker is saying.
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  Verse 17, he that is first in pause, just, but his neighbor comes search of him.
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  So often you hear one person
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  and you think oh yeah that's right and then
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  we don't go any further and maybe somebody else comes
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  in and adds something and you're like oh but i
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  love that his neighbor cometh and searches him you know our neighbors
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  might come and have something else to add so often we hear one thing we get
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  one piece of information and we allow it to get us all riled up and we don't
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  seek out other information or listen to anything beyond that one bit of information we receive.
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  And we may not even ask for clarification of the one piece of information, you know, we received.
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  We sometimes fill in gaps with our own thoughts and understandings,
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  and they're sometimes way off the mark instead of really just asking some clarifying questions.
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  So when you're listening to someone, you really are getting the story,
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  especially if they're asking you to pray for them.
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  Yes, God knows, but you're going to pray more earnestly for something you understand
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  than you are for something you don't understand.
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  And it's okay to say, hey, look, I don't need all the details of this issue
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  you're going through, but let me at least understand what the issue is.
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  What are you asking me to pray about for you?
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  Verse 19, the brother offended is harder to be on city and their contentions are like the bars.
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  You just cannot get past hurt when you've hurt somebody like that.
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  It requires divine intervention and both of you seeking the Lord to repair that relationship.
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  Because once people get hurt, they just build those bars up and you're not getting
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  through. You're not getting the chance to do it twice.
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  And it's so easy now, I think, for us offended.
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  Clearly, it must have been easy 3,000 years ago. But, you know,
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  we get offended and we shut down.
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  We might get offended about something and build bars up and it may not even have been.
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  We may not even have heard the right thing or completely misunderstood intent,
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  but it's our job as those who listen and those who respond to do our best to
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  prevent someone from being offended or prevent ourselves from being offended.
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  You know, I think part of it stems from the fact that we don't feel like we
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  need people like the people in early times did.
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  They needed each other to survive. And the truth is, we need each other to survive.
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  We were built to live in community.
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  However, we don't seem to think that. A lot of times we think our four and no
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  more. You know, it's our family.
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  Whatever happens, happens to everyone else. But it's not the way God intended us to live.
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  He said that we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
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  And God chooses the people that he allows in and out of our lives and in our communities and
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  and in our circle of influence. And we must embrace that with everything that
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  we have, because when God puts someone in your life, he's got them in there for a purpose.
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  So to that point, so often listening and responding has a lot to do with our words.
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  And this chapter really does, kind of like chapter 17, speak so much to the
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  power of our words. And there's a few at that point.
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  And that first one would be verse four. And we can stay on verse four till Jesus
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  comes back. The words of a man's mouth are as deep as a wellspring.
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  And when I was thinking about deep waters that are deep are,
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  first of all, there's a lot of them. The water is deep, the water.
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  And they're often hard to fathom and hard to.
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  But the wellspring of wisdom is as a plug to me that almost is about how it bubbles up.
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  I believe it also shows that wisdom is refreshing.
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  It takes me straight back to the 23rd Psalm where he says, As though I walk
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  through the valley, shadow death, thou art with me.
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  But before that, he says, he leadeth me beside the still waters.
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  And though a brook is flowing, is not still, it is also a brook is filled with life.
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  That flowing nature of the brook is re-oxygenating it as it moves through the
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  water. And it's becoming more and more rich in all of the stuff that it's going
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  to give to anyone who is literally taking it in.
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  And when we speak with wisdom or people give us wisdom, we are growing richer
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  with every word we take in, with every impact we allow that wise word to have on our lives.
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  We are growing more into what we should be, and we are removing usually bad
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  thoughts, angst, stress, that kind of thing.
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  And so this flowing brook is a regenerating brook. It's a renewing brook.
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  It's a refreshing brook.
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  And that's what wise words are for each of us.
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  But if you have this deep, deep, deep body of water, you can't even get to where
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  the good stuff is sometimes.
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  And there's a lot of stuff in between, like you said. But this bubbling up of
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  the brook makes wisdom come to the top.
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  And when we take it, it is like a refreshment.
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  It is a renewing and a regenerating for our lives and generally for our futures.
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  And let's jump over and look at verses 20 and 20. A man's belly shall be satisfied,
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  his mouth, and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.
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  Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
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  Our words and our actions give us some life. Amen.
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  If we are following the will of God and his example, The word Christian means to be Christ-like.
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  And if we are speaking like he speaks, walking like he walks,
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  and loving and living like he lives, then you are right. We are living the abundant
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  life he's promised in John 10.10.
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  That's what he created us for. Death and life are in the tongue that makes me think of Deuteronomy.
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  We choose death or we choose life, right? I want to choose life with everything
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  I do. And I have the power to give life to people.
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  Speak goodness into the lives of others with every word that I say.
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  And you remember he said that a brother offended back in 19 is harder to be one than a strong city.
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  And the contentions were like strong bars on a castle. Remember that?
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  Well, your words can catapult someone into a state of anger and can destroy
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  a relationship that took years to build in one conversation,
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  sometimes in one sentence.
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  And we also know that somebody can say a kind, encouraging word to you on a
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  day that you are just not quite filled up, and immediately it will fill you to overflowing.
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  Since you brought up friendship, why don't we go ahead and take a look at 24. Amen.
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  Let's read that in their hearing. A man that has friends must show himself friendly,
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  and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
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  Aren't you excited to know that Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you?
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  We learned that in Hebrews 13, 5.
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  But aren't you excited to realize beyond a shadow of a doubt.
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  That he is going to stick by you, and he is capable of providing everything
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  that you need and giving you the strength you need to do whatever he's called
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  you to do, because he explained that to us in Philippians 4, 13 and 19.
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  He's more than any friends you could imagine.
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  And though family sticks together and family is close, and when you're in trouble,
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  family working together as a family should is a family that really helps one
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  another, no matter how good your family is at helping you and protecting you
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  and managing you and navigating life with you,
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  they will never be for you what Jesus is.
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  And so for those of us who are blessed to have great family connections,
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  we know that even more important, even more valuable is that relationship we
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  have with Jesus who calls us friend.
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  Friends are there when you need them. Friends have the right words to say when you need them.
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  Friends hold you accountable. I call them accountability buddies.
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  Friends brighten your day.
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  Friends make the load easier and lighter.
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  If you have a friend, you have a great blessing.
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  And when you have Jesus as your friend, you have all that you need. Amen.
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  Well, we hope that you've enjoyed this podcast on Proverbs chapter 18.
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  We invite you to join us for our next podcast, and we have to have you with
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  us. Remember that you are loved.
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