Latest / Zen Community of Oregon Dharma Talks / Three Ways to Reduce Fear - Jogen Salzberg, Sensei

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Three Ways to Reduce Fear - Jogen Salzberg, Sensei · Zen Community of Oregon Dharma Talks

• 0:00
  Jomon: Hello and welcome. This is the Zen Community of Oregon, making the teachings of the Buddhadharma accessible to support your practice. New episodes air every week.
• 0:24
  Jogen: I just sit down and see if something pops into my mind to talk about. And what popped into my mind this morning was Three Things That Reduce Fear. That was my title. Maizumi Roshi, one of our dharma ancestors of this lineage, He said, The greatest gift that anyone can give or receive is no fear or the reduction of fear. The greatest gift is not the most amazing whatever thing.
• 1:02
  We often think, Oh no, the greatest gift would be a mansion in the bay and a BMW. But actually, you might get that and it could increase your fear. You might have had that experience that you got something you wanted and actually made you more afraid and takes us away from the greatest gift, which is not being afraid. So the greatest gift is less fear, no fear, seeing through fear, fear as an arising, something that passes through our field of awareness, rather than an animating force. Sometimes we are animated by fear.
• 1:46
  That's what's motivating us. I also think so much of what we do is already pointing to that we desire this. So much of what we do can be traced back to the desire to lessen our fear, right? When we are exercising like maniacs, it's fear of sickness, fear of a bodily state that we wish to avoid. Right?
• 2:14
  A lot of times it's fear of old age people exercise like maniacs. When we stockpile guns, it's fear of harm and death, or it's fear of the feeling of insecurity. When we pile up money, it's fear of loss of status or loss of options, or maybe it's loss of fear of the loss of food, fear of hunger. You trace back many desires or you can take this on as a contemplation, different things that you desire, not being judged for that, you might find that underneath it is some kind of fear. I desire to be more attractive because I fear being alone.
• 3:06
  Or I desire to be more educated because I fear being alone. Or I desire to be more wise because I fear suffering. I desire more entertainment because I fear boredom. So the absence of fear, maybe when fear is not here, it's not that itself is not a presence. You don't go, hey, I'm not afraid right now.
• 3:37
  You just basically enjoy what you're doing or you just engage with what you're doing. Sometimes we just call this in Zen tradition trust in heart or trust in mind. But that's a translation issue because they're not talking about trusting in your ordinary brain because that is largely a fear machine. A lot of what the brain does is generate and reinforce fear. So anyways, three things that I am of the opinion you can easily put into practice that reduce fear.
• 4:22
  The first is the willingness to experience what we have to experience. Being born means that shitty states are coming down the pipe. Undoubtedly. You could make it through this life squeaky clean and there's still gonna be the experience at some point of dying and it's probably not gonna be blissful. And probably there's going to be the experience of sickness and it's probably not going to feel great no matter how much drugs are pumped into you.
• 5:01
  And that's the best case scenario. Being born means we have to feel awkward. We have to feel embarrassed sometimes. We have to feel sleepy. We have to feel sad.
• 5:13
  We have to feel anxiety at times. We have to feel. We also have to see. We have to see all kinds of things we would rather not see. There are things we see that we wish we didn't have to see because it's inconvenient or confronting to see.
• 5:34
  But where is the problem in any of this? What is the problem with any of those states I named? In themselves, they're just textures, right? It's interesting that sometimes there are people who are so beautiful when they're sad. And from the outside you can see the beauty and sadness, how it articulates their face or a certain like humility comes over them or a sensitivity.
• 6:08
  Or even awkwardness is kind of interesting to observe someone in an awkward state. It's like this beautiful vulnerable moment. What is the problem with any state of being? Well, one thing we can say is that we don't want to experience it. There's some no that lives in us about something that the universe says yes to.
• 6:37
  How do you know the universe says yes to it? It exists. That's kind of interesting to me. I say no to things that the universe says yes to, but I am the universe. That's a very weird situation to be in.
• 6:52
  That means you say no to yourself. There are all these discomforts that are part and parcel of this existence. Some months ago, I was talking about the rawness of uncertainty, the rawness of never having control, the rawness of sensory intensities. You can easily put into practice this that reduces fear. I'm willing to experience this.
• 7:28
  You could practice, well, the heat is apparently ending, but it'll come back. Anytime you encounter texture of life and you feel that no in you, you practice the willingness to experience it. You kind of ham it up a little bit. You step into it like 101%. Pretend you love the heat.
• 7:56
  See what happens when you step forward so that you override the no and you really kind of conform to the moment. That could be true with nervousness. That could be true with tiredness. That could be true with anxiety. That could be true with joy.
• 8:21
  Some people, believe it or not, are unwilling to experience joy. Joy is rather intense. It's an experiment to see what happens if you don't separate. And then you begin to prove to yourself that separation is what the suffering is. The actual textures themselves, well, what can you say?
• 8:44
  What can you say about the wordless experience of your body right now? That's a contradiction in terms. You shouldn't say anything about the wordless experience of your body because then it would have words. But you know what I mean. What can you say about the feeling of life, The direct feeling of life that has anything to do with that direct feeling.
• 9:09
  So this reduces fear because a lot of times we have our mind is subtly has these tendrils in the future and it's feeling out towards future moments that we wish to avoid. I don't want to go to that thing because I might have that awkward encounter. I'm afraid of feeling that awkwardness. I don't want to step into such and such a thing because I don't want to have to feel or experience X, Y, or Z. We can catch that in action.
• 9:47
  If this gets really extreme, one lives a very tight life, a really hemmed in life. I'm thinking about dancing right now. Somebody loves to dance actually, but the feeling of self consciousness, the feeling of being looked at, one decides I'm not willing to feel that, and so they don't dance. It's a metaphor for the greater reality of life. And then we build ourselves a box based on the unwillingness to feel.
• 10:25
  Or many times I hear this about relationship. It's cliche at this point, but I'm afraid of getting hurt. People mean that often. That is the reality of many people, why relationships remain shallow. I'm not willing to feel a broken heart, so no, thank you.
• 10:49
  Meanwhile, I kind of resent that I'm lonely. I guess that's preferable. I don't know. So the willingness to experience experience and to experience what we have to experience. So sometimes if I catch my mind doing this, I catch the tentacles of fear going towards the future and I deduce it.
• 11:17
  Oh, I'm afraid of feeling such and such. I just really practice saying, I'm willing to feel whatever I have to feel. It's a little bit like a new age affirmation, but it can be very potent. Right? The mind in a way runs on intentionality.
• 11:35
  You front load that intention. I'm willing to feel rejection. I'm willing to feel hot. I'm willing to be exhausted. That's just a texture.
• 11:48
  It's just a feeling. It's okay. So you can, you and I can practice this anytime we remember, the willingness to experience what is ours to experience and everything belongs to us. Then the second thing is knowing thoughts as thoughts and also knowing reactive thoughts versus wisdom thoughts. And I'll unpack that a little bit.
• 12:26
  So I think this is one of the vital wisdoms that comes from doing Zazen over time. It seemed it would seem impossible to me for someone to steadily do Zazen over months, years, any kind of meditation practice and not really see that one is not their thoughts. And also impossible not to see that a thought is no more and no less than that. And sometimes the thought has very vital insight in it and sometimes it's totally diluted, completely off the mark. Last week, I emphasized that the mind is an open creative space.
• 13:16
  It's primordially an open creative space where you can think anything. You can imagine almost anything and you can believe anything you imagine or think. Just look at the news. It's easy to see that other people do this all the time. Some crazy shit arises in their mind.
• 13:41
  They have the power to believe it. Right. You know, in the past, people's thought range was a little bit more hemmed in by religion and cultural belief. You couldn't go to the library and learn that there are other ways of seeing why there was a sun in the sky. You couldn't take in another view about women.
• 14:14
  It just actually wasn't available to you to get outside of your kind of cultural view. There was no I mean, without other perspectives being put in words that you can read and educate yourself, it wasn't possible. Right? And of course, it's hard for us to see how our thoughts are hemmed in by cultural and religious belief, but they are. But the main point is a thought arises, where does its authority come from?
• 14:55
  How do you sense the difference between a thought that is just really like, where did that come from? From a thought that's, oh, it's probably true or it is true. Where does the authority come from? Is it a feeling? You feel that this thought is true?
• 15:20
  But again, Nazis thought that they had very true convictions. Just because you feel that something is true, just because it arises in your mind, and in fact, just because it arises in other people's minds who are near you, doesn't mean true. This is really interesting. The first thing that we can practice that will reduce fear in our life is simply knowing thoughts as thought. That pause before we lend authority or accuracy to this picture in my mind.
• 16:02
  I recently had a long time dharma student, someone who's done a lot of practice, say, Jogan, I actually finally realized that there is no such thing as the future. I had been hearing that for years and yeah, yeah, yeah, this is just thoughts, the futures, but I realized there actually is no such experience that ever happens called the future. And every thought I have about the future is just a thought that's happening now. It's just like an advertisement of what might be And often it's not what will come to pass. Right.
• 16:42
  So this in a way is basic or essential mindfulness. A thought is a thought. Okay, what's my relationship to this thought, this perception that's arisen? But you got to have that pause first. And when we're deluded, and all of us are sometimes deluded, thought is gospel.
• 17:06
  In other words, it's a revealed truth. I thought it and therefore it's real. I thought it and therefore it's actually happening that way. They're actually thinking that that's the way it is. There are little things called morgellons that are released by the clouds of planes in the sky and they're infecting all our brains.
• 17:25
  That's just one thought that someone believed that I heard about. Perhaps a dharmic metric for what makes a thought true or not is that a true thought, if you act on a true thought, it will reduce distress for you and others. And a false thought is a thought you act on that increases distress for you and others. And let's put aside, you know, moral courage and like, you know, distressing people by bringing forward, confronting them with the truth. That's a different topic.
• 18:11
  You know, one way you could say this is wisdom thoughts have bodhicitta's flavor. When you have a clear thought that is not coming from the body of confusion, it feels clean and clear. And when you have a thought that is sort of mixed up in our own projections and illusions and aversions and kind of grudges, it feels a little different in your body. There's a feeling signature. Anyways, I'm not saying never believe your thoughts.
• 18:55
  I'm saying wait before you believe your thoughts and you will reduce your fear. Wait before you believe your thoughts. Sometimes wait a week until you check things out with somebody. Sometimes wait a moment and see if it still seems true the next moment. We will become people who reduce the fear of others if we don't believe our thoughts just because they arise.
• 19:26
  I remember, at the beginning of COVID, there were some people around me who just freaked out. I was really surprised. I mean, yes, it was bad, but it wasn't as like zombie apocalypse bad as they thought. And they didn't keep those thoughts inside their brain. They were coming out of their mouth.
• 19:43
  Zombie apocalypse. And people were getting scared around them. We're kind of social creatures. It is a bodhisattva practice to wait before you believe a thought because a thought that comes out of your mouth that hasn't been examined could cause someone else suffering. I've done that.
• 20:03
  Probably all of us have. Knowing thoughts as thoughts. The third thing that you can put in practice that reduces suffering, of course, there could be nine of these. I don't know. I just thought of three today.
• 20:30
  Is embody a loving, kind or respectful heart. I discovered through this practice that one of my core concerns is that I will hurt people. And I don't know if this is universal or if it's just that when I was younger, before I had encountered the practice, I would hurt people with things I said. I could be like mean or sarcastic when I was a kid or I would say some mean things to my sister when I was angry and feeling powerless. And in paying attention to the karmic ripples of that, I realized I wounded her.
• 21:18
  And it wasn't easy and maybe it's still not has fully healed, right? Sometimes what we say or what we do just becomes a feature of someone's existence. We're not responsible for how they relate to it, but we're responsible for the delivery. It's a good concern to be concerned about not hurting people. And if we haven't cleaned up our actions, our, let me just use the word karma, our body of habit through kindness and respect, that concern of not hurting people can be a fear of the possibility of what I might do.
• 22:06
  I'm afraid of my own ability to disrupt others' lives. Everybody can easily do that. When we are more abiding in kindness, respect, compassion for others, we leave a social situation and there's almost no or greatly reduced reverberations about how did I show up? Did I say the wrong thing? I don't have to think about that because more and more of my actions are coming out of kindness and respect.
• 22:55
  Do people think poorly of me? I don't need to worry about that because if they think poorly of me and in self examination, I am kind, who cares about someone's perception of you that reacts to your being kind? So there's a way in which when we are more and more truly heart centered, our social life becomes free of fear. Less fearful is probably more realistic. Right?
• 23:34
  Nearly everybody wants friendship and nearly everybody is averse to loneliness. We're afraid of being abandoned or ostracized. And yet it's easy to overlook how much power we have around being a person that people do or do not want to be around. Sometimes people say, I don't have people don't want to spend time with me, or I feel lonely, and their character is kind of sharp. They're kind of Barbie.
• 24:05
  Not Barbie like the doll or the movie that I didn't see it, too much pink, but Barbie, like Barbz. And sometimes we believe that we're actually powerless. That somehow we're being victimized or people are unfairly not wanting to spend time with us. But if I think of like the top three people in my mind who really have taken on as a practice of kindness and who really have trained to respect beings, people love being around those people. The only time people don't like being around those people is people who that reflects to them their uncleaned up character.
• 24:52
  It's an unpleasant mirror. Right? So there are survival fears that are about health, food, shelter, companionship, but there might be spiritual fears in us too. We might have the fear of losing self respect. If we practice self respect, we don't have to be afraid of that.
• 25:24
  We might have the fear of becoming intoxicated by aggression. I know some people are aware of how much anger is spring loaded in them and they're afraid of that coming out. And in a sense, you can't be afraid to experience your own anger, but one should be concerned about it just spilling out of your mouth or body. So when we talk about embodying and practicing a loving, kind, respectful heart, it's an inner stance that we try to stay centered in even when we're not being externally affirmed or getting the same thing back. That's what makes this at times a challenging practice.
• 26:16
  I like to practice this at times when friends of mine are under stress and they kind of snap at me. I really like to take those moments to see if I can just let that be an empty blip and just really stay in, I still love you. I do that with my cats pretty consistently. I would love to do that with my girlfriend more consistently. Because you know how cats can be.
• 26:44
  I love you now, but now I don't love you. This loving, kind, respectful heart, these are just words. Everybody has their own flavor for this. It reduces fear of our own actions, which for some people is a significant fear. And in a way, you just you do this work by maintaining fidelity to your practice.
• 27:18
  This sitting meditation is like an alchemical chamber that starts to like squeeze the negativity out of you and amplify the brightness in you. It really does that even if you don't want it to. Right? I didn't wanna give up my crabbiness. I thought that made me naive or a sucker or something.
• 27:48
  But Zazen was like, no, we're squeezing your crabbiness out. Just slowly it oozed out until like, it's hard for me to maintain it very long. I have to have caffeine withdrawal, has to be really hot and I have to be hungry. No, it can happen easier than that. But nonetheless, this practice will do that.
• 28:15
  I'm not saying decide to be put on a loving face. I'm more saying touch the root of deep self respect every day. So to review, there are three ways all of us in our circumstances can reduce fear. Be willing to experience what belongs to the universe. Be willing to experience what is the range of human experience in the future, in this moment.
• 28:50
  Know thoughts as thoughts and wait before you believe them. Take a moment and say, is this true? And embody a kind heart. So I'm willing to bet those things are effective. We could we could shake on it.
• 29:18
  Jomon: Thank you for listening to the Zen Community of Oregon podcast, and thank you for your practice. New episodes air every week. Please consider making a donation at zendust.org. Your support supports us.