Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #115 2024’s Most Unforgettable Guests

Transcript

#115 2024’s Most Unforgettable Guests · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Pick it off. What do you got for me?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: This is the last time that these people will hear
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: us this year for twenty twenty four.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, what a year.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: It's been been a long year. No, it's gone quick,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: is it? I think so? Well a bit of it.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Has it been a long year for you?
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: How are you feeling?
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: How are you? How do I sound?
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: Look you are a little bit under the weather. We
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: had to record these episodes. We're not obviously we're not live.
• 0:22
  Speaker 4: Podcasts aren't live. I hate to ruin it for anyone.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: What.
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I've had to drag ash to my house.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Unwell, he's on a lot of drugs, all legal, A couple.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: Of pain killers, couple of painkillers.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: And we're just having a really nostalgic day.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: I'm a soldier, you're a soldier, a young soldier.
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: We're just talking about what a year it's been. What
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: amazing guests that we've had on this podcast. And we thought,
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: we thought we'll give you a little reminder just how
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: good it was. I know I sound arrogant, so just
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: bear with me.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: He sounds great. Shut up do I gosh, my good,
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: you's sound great, But also shut up. We did we
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: had some really good guesses. Both of our wives.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Oh look he is Arrogan.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Now we had both of our wives. She's nass. April was.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Abril had a bit of Alian before she started. Did
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: she really?
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I shouldn't laugh at her drug problems.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: She was very anxious, very anxious, my wife.
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: But we had Laura Burn, also very anxious. She was
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: on more than ones this year. April's on more than
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: one too. We had a few episodes with April, so
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: we are happy today to bring you Laura Burn, April Wicks.
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we led in the mix and Kayla George one
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: of our favorite episodes.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Taylor George would be up there with one of my
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: favorite episodes. I'd say, yeah you.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: I didn't realize when we first met. I had no
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: idea how much of a basketball fan you are.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Look, I love a good time and I think basketball
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: is all a good time.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: You Barty. It's a big part.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: And also one of my favorite chats with a dad
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: breath and Asta is also in the mix. So it's
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: a cracking episode.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Enjoy.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Let's get into.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: Well.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: I've asked it a few times in the podcast. We've
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: spoken about it a couple of times. I've had a sectomy.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Matt hasn't endured that as yet.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: I want to know, is there a possibility for a
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: third child, A third Johnson.
• 2:24
  Speaker 7: A third Johnson that's not a cat. Do you want
• 2:28
  Speaker 7: to have another kid?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: I think so?
• 2:30
  Speaker 7: So this is this is why the pendulum has swung
• 2:34
  Speaker 7: so wide. I watched it and I can't keep up
• 2:36
  Speaker 7: with him because only a couple of months ago, Matt
• 2:39
  Speaker 7: said he did not want to have another child.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: At all, because you're advocating for it. You pulled me
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: aside and said we're having a.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Third personally for me. I don't want another one. For you.
• 2:52
  Speaker 6: There is enough plans and cats and everything.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be honest, I don't need it. Why
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: I don't need you guys have anymore?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Is it the stress of what I would requires?
• 3:03
  Speaker 8: Already?
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: I'm stressed out, man.
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: The plants are staring at me, the cat's staring at me,
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: A three legged dogs staring at me, And now you
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: want to introduce a fucking baby to stare at.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Me on here too?
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 3:12
  Speaker 7: So I always thought it's funny for me because I
• 3:14
  Speaker 7: never really ever saw myself as being a mom like
• 3:17
  Speaker 7: I didn't. I never had you, I never had the
• 3:21
  Speaker 7: maternal pool. I never ever dreamt about being mom or
• 3:25
  Speaker 7: I didn't even know if i'd be a good mom. Really,
• 3:27
  Speaker 7: I was like, that seems like you require a lot
• 3:30
  Speaker 7: of patience to do it. And then I had Marley,
• 3:32
  Speaker 7: and I well know that I met Matt and you
• 3:35
  Speaker 7: really wanted to be a dad.
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: And.
• 3:38
  Speaker 7: You really wanted to be a dad. And I think
• 3:40
  Speaker 7: it was your excitement about wanting to be a dad
• 3:41
  Speaker 7: that made me have excitement about wanting to be a mom.
• 3:45
  Speaker 7: Even though I kind of knew it would be my plans,
• 3:47
  Speaker 7: I just didn't have this like big maternal pool. Then
• 3:50
  Speaker 7: Molly came around, and I loved it so much more
• 3:54
  Speaker 7: than I ever thought I would. And I think people
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: are so quick to tell you all the bad bits
• 3:58
  Speaker 7: about parenting, and people don't really stop and tell you
• 4:01
  Speaker 7: the incredible bits.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: It's just so much more fun to talk about.
• 4:04
  Speaker 7: That's what totally and people we revel in complaining, right,
• 4:06
  Speaker 7: Like that's my favorite thing. Humans love to complain. There's
• 4:10
  Speaker 7: this real like shared almost like like like shared camaraderie
• 4:13
  Speaker 7: when we complain about stuff.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: All we do on this podcast.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: And we're complaining about how the meads uncooked.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: But I will say you're also a great mum as well.
• 4:24
  Speaker 9: Thank you.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I love being a mom.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I do, I do want.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 4:30
  Speaker 7: I love it so much more than I ever thought
• 4:31
  Speaker 7: I would. And I look at Lola now, and you know, obviously,
• 4:35
  Speaker 7: whether we have two, we have three, I'm still a
• 4:37
  Speaker 7: mom for as long as I am on the earth.
• 4:39
  Speaker 7: But my thing is, I look at Lola and I
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: can't believe that I'm never going to have another little
• 4:45
  Speaker 7: person like that. She's the youngest that there is ever
• 4:48
  Speaker 7: going to be in this household. And but every so
• 4:50
  Speaker 7: often I just have these moments where I'm like, surely
• 4:52
  Speaker 7: this can't be it. And I always thought I would
• 4:54
  Speaker 7: get to a point of completeness. I thought I would
• 4:56
  Speaker 7: wake up one day and be like after Lola was born.
• 4:58
  Speaker 7: I thought I would have this moment where I'd be like, oh,
• 5:00
  Speaker 7: I'm so done, like tie the tube.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: So it's a possibility.
• 5:04
  Speaker 7: I would like to I'm thirty eight now, I'll be
• 5:06
  Speaker 7: thirty nine next year. Work is a lot in terms
• 5:10
  Speaker 7: of like contracts and trying to figure out timings and stuff.
• 5:13
  Speaker 7: But if we could have a baby next year, I would.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Be excited to would you name it after me?
• 5:20
  Speaker 7: It would be named ash Jam picklets like.
• 5:27
  Speaker 9: I know Jamie Little Jimmy Jam.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: I'm definitely done obviously. How that a sex me?
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: Yeah, okay, well I know that you like you feel
• 5:36
  Speaker 7: the churl in there, but okay. My one thing though
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: about like having another kid is that I think people's
• 5:40
  Speaker 7: instant reaction when someone has already has two these days
• 5:43
  Speaker 7: and that's two of the same sex, the instant thought
• 5:46
  Speaker 7: is to be like, oh, well, you're trying for a boy,
• 5:48
  Speaker 7: like you're trying for the alternate sex. I love being
• 5:51
  Speaker 7: a mum to girls. I always saw myself if I
• 5:53
  Speaker 7: was going to have kids as having boys, so like
• 5:56
  Speaker 7: it's my parenting thoughts of what I thought it was
• 5:58
  Speaker 7: going to be is completely out the way.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I'd always prefer another girl.
• 6:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and if we had three girls, I would be
• 6:03
  Speaker 7: absolutely fucking thrilled. So I want that to be like
• 6:07
  Speaker 7: on record, so that if we ever do have another girl,
• 6:09
  Speaker 7: people are like, oh my god, yeah, I just wanted
• 6:11
  Speaker 7: to have my boy.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Just wanted genuinely.
• 6:13
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I could see us having another kid. Also, Nana
• 6:16
  Speaker 7: just moved in, so like we've got a free baby sitter.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: I would like to be more involved.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: You could be the Godfather.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 6:27
  Speaker 9: I laugh about it now.
• 6:28
  Speaker 10: But the thing I think that I was attracted to
• 6:30
  Speaker 10: you were like your whole two tattoos that you had
• 6:34
  Speaker 10: at the time.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: And I was like, that's not and they're like the
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: worst tattoos I have, yeah, under my arm and under
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: that they're like one of them was done by a
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: tatoo artist that she was pissed and it was like,
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: so it's so bad, and the other one was just
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: like a dumb seventeen year old tatoo.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Did you show where the tattoos that night?
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I just walked around those.
• 6:57
  Speaker 10: By the way, he was skinnier than me as well,
• 6:59
  Speaker 10: it was I was so small.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: The photos of you when you were younger, you're a
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: bit of a trim young lad.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: Oh now what am I? Fat?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Dad?
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: A very clean cut.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: You're allowed ten kilos for every kid you have.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: You didn't have the mustache.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: No, did that version of events match what happened from you?
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was pretty bang on. I think I tried
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: really hard to go home with her. She said, no,
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: kick me off the bus.
• 7:26
  Speaker 9: Yeah, we did catch a bus home.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Got a bus home.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: Well, young I was poor, and then I spent weeks, weeks,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: courting courting weeks, to the point where it was a
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: joke between her and her friends. So I was a
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: joke really.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Because you were you were like playing hard to.
• 7:44
  Speaker 9: Get or he was very keen.
• 7:46
  Speaker 10: And I remember joking like because he sent like not millions,
• 7:53
  Speaker 10: but he said plenty.
• 7:54
  Speaker 9: Of messages throughout the day.
• 7:56
  Speaker 10: And at that time, I had a job where my
• 7:57
  Speaker 10: phone was locked away in a locker and you'd send
• 8:00
  Speaker 10: like a couple of messages like just like, how's your day,
• 8:03
  Speaker 10: but then another one would come.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Through the one You're going back to back to.
• 8:07
  Speaker 9: Back, back to back to back in those days.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd never do that now.
• 8:11
  Speaker 10: And I joke to one of my friends at the
• 8:13
  Speaker 10: time and I was like, oh my god, this guy's
• 8:15
  Speaker 10: so keen.
• 8:15
  Speaker 9: Imagine if I end up marrying him.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: There you go, guys persistence.
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: Do you remember after you guys met at the pub,
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: like what your first date was?
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, where did you go?
• 8:33
  Speaker 10: So you'd been out like that whole day, so I
• 8:37
  Speaker 10: think you'd been drinking as well, so you were like,
• 8:40
  Speaker 10: does not sound like that. You were like, Oh, we
• 8:43
  Speaker 10: should go out for dinner, but I think you need
• 8:46
  Speaker 10: to Can you pick.
• 8:46
  Speaker 9: Me up.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: WHOA. I was out during the day, but I had tried.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: To see April at other occasions but she was playing
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: hard to get. And then the one occasion I was
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: in Bondai actually, and the one occasion where she was like,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: oh I'm free tonight, I was. I caught up with
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: a girlfriend of mine that I had moved down as well,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: and we just hadn't seen each other yet. She moved
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: to bond dimit, so we caught up for a drink
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: and lunch. I only had like two or three beers,
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: but I got a bus and a train there, you know,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: thinking Okay, I'll probably just spend the evening in Bondai
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: and see what that's about.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: And then it was like oh shit.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: So I pretty much stopped whatever I was doing and
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: got on a bus and then got on a train.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: But the thing is that I was like, A, You're
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: going to have to drive. So I got dropped at her.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Like pretty much at her place, and then we drove
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: to where I was living, which was on the floor
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: of Pete's house, who was at the cafe street.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: So just to clear that up, carry on.
• 9:54
  Speaker 10: I'm pretty sure as well. You did send in a message.
• 9:57
  Speaker 10: I think that's when you told me. You're like, oh,
• 9:59
  Speaker 10: I can't afford dinner. I can't remember how I found
• 10:03
  Speaker 10: out that you couldn't pay for dinner much.
• 10:05
  Speaker 9: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure you like told me
• 10:08
  Speaker 9: straight up.
• 10:08
  Speaker 10: You're like, I haven't got money for dinner, but I'd
• 10:12
  Speaker 10: love to take you out.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: So I was like, context, context, context is everything, guys.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: I had, I had packed up my car.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: From living in my parents' house, moved here, was working
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: three jobs that paid cash, and it was like the
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: worst time because I was in Bondou with all my
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: money that I had and had pretty much spent it
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: on lunch and everything, thinking Okay, I'm just going to
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: go home. I'll get paid the next couple of days
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: from one of these jobs. But then I didn't want
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: to miss the opportunity.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: So honesty, Honesty is the best pose.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't think I don't recall saying it.
• 10:47
  Speaker 10: Well, I just I can't remember how I found out
• 10:50
  Speaker 10: that I had to pay, because I did have to
• 10:52
  Speaker 10: pay to that.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: No, let's get to that. Okay, you didn't have to pay.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: He didn't make you pay the.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: End, because no, he did.
• 10:59
  Speaker 10: He gave me a discount didn't he because you worked
• 11:02
  Speaker 10: where we end up going for dinner.
• 11:04
  Speaker 9: So, yeah, we drove.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: We drove somewhere.
• 11:06
  Speaker 10: We didn't really have plans, and I was driving. I
• 11:09
  Speaker 10: think we went to go to a sushi place, but
• 11:12
  Speaker 10: we couldn't park or something, and then we end up
• 11:13
  Speaker 10: going to You were like, oh, I work it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: I work at this jizza.
• 11:18
  Speaker 9: Pizza place, so we'll go there.
• 11:20
  Speaker 10: And so we went there, had dinner and whatnot, and
• 11:23
  Speaker 10: obviously all his coworkers were like behind my back, which
• 11:27
  Speaker 10: I know now. Yeah, and then the bill came and
• 11:34
  Speaker 10: I went up to pay and afford to pay.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: But name I think the important thing to remember is
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: that you can start with the bar really low and
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: then from then on I everything's a plus.
• 11:49
  Speaker 9: Yeah, and you did? You did?
• 11:51
  Speaker 6: You used to spail me rotten in what way?
• 11:55
  Speaker 10: Oh? I remember, like one of the first Valentine's Days,
• 11:57
  Speaker 10: I think you bought.
• 11:58
  Speaker 9: Me an iPad mini, buy me jewelry.
• 12:00
  Speaker 10: Yeah, like literally spent probably credit card debt.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: It can't make up for that one dinner I couldn't
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: pay for. But it was the most important dinner obviously.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: But I mean, at the time, I recall, I was like, Okay, well,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: the people I was with in Bonder, I got to go,
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: and it was like I got to go. I have
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: to go for a particular reason. I could have easily
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: just been like no, not yeah. Yeah, So that's how
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: that's how the first date went.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: Do you remember thinking on that date? This feels different
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: to other dates that I've been on.
• 12:33
  Speaker 10: Definitely, YE had to pay for it, Like I feel
• 12:37
  Speaker 10: slightly lighter in the wallet.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: It wasn't expensive, all right.
• 12:42
  Speaker 10: No, And like you know you're talking when we were twenty,
• 12:45
  Speaker 10: there was not a high expectation of like long whining
• 12:49
  Speaker 10: and it was about but yeah, yeah, I enjoyed his company.
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: Your dog is very into the story. I don't want
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: to ask questions that are too personal. Did you have
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: a kiss after dinner?
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Was there a kiss?
• 13:08
  Speaker 9: Oh?
• 13:09
  Speaker 10: I have no idea.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: I can't remember. I think so well, I don't know.
• 13:13
  Speaker 9: Where, Like wouldn't have been at the restaurant.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I remember when are we Because we had to stop
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: at my place before we went, and I was living
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: with Pete and there's three brothers in that house, Like, oh,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: walked in there, had to get some fresh clothes, and
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Pete was like, where are you going? I was like, oh,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I'm going on a date with April Gates and he
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: was like.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: Bullshit, you're lying bullshit. And then I was like and
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: then he's like walked out open the front door. It's like, dahn,
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: she had a big crash on April. So I stole
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: a stolen something.
• 13:44
  Speaker 10: I don't think I was ever his, But he still thinks,
• 13:48
  Speaker 10: he still thinks he's got a change.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: For anyone who hasn't been in the room, for anyone
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: who hasn't given birth, what's it like, and especially because
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: I can't imagine doing that without drugs, but you're in
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: a moment of like extreme pain. And then what's it
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: like when you get to see your child for the
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: first time and you get to hold them?
• 14:09
  Speaker 11: Yeah, okay, so hang the fuck on bus. Obviously have
• 14:16
  Speaker 11: seen it as dads, but holy Molly, like nothing prepares.
• 14:20
  Speaker 9: You for that.
• 14:22
  Speaker 11: It is excruciating. And you have a plan, chuck that
• 14:26
  Speaker 11: fucking plan in a bin. That plan is not sticking
• 14:29
  Speaker 11: to play. That is so true.
• 14:32
  Speaker 9: Like I had a plan.
• 14:34
  Speaker 11: I mean, I'm like a non planning plant person that
• 14:37
  Speaker 11: I was like, Hey, I want to have it in
• 14:38
  Speaker 11: the bath, Like I'm real ze idea, I'm going to
• 14:40
  Speaker 11: breathe through this thing.
• 14:41
  Speaker 9: Let's have it in the bath. I couldn't even fit
• 14:43
  Speaker 9: in the fucking bar my.
• 14:45
  Speaker 11: Legs, my legs were way too long for this public
• 14:48
  Speaker 11: coastural bath. And yeah, no, the pain I felt, I
• 14:53
  Speaker 11: think Minnie was apparently turned the wrong way inside me
• 14:56
  Speaker 11: and shit, and she was taking ages to come out
• 14:58
  Speaker 11: and blah blah. My legs felt like they were going
• 15:00
  Speaker 11: to fall off. They were numb but also killing. The
• 15:05
  Speaker 11: pain wasn't so much in the contractions. It was more
• 15:07
  Speaker 11: in my lower back and my legs. I remember my
• 15:10
  Speaker 11: through my contractions, I was vomiting so like actually vomiting
• 15:14
  Speaker 11: all over me as well. My mom was the fear
• 15:17
  Speaker 11: in my mum's face like said it all to me.
• 15:20
  Speaker 11: I was like, I think I'm gonna die, Like I
• 15:22
  Speaker 11: remember saying that to her. And she had had beautiful
• 15:26
  Speaker 11: bursts with me and my brother. She'd had really quick bursts.
• 15:28
  Speaker 11: And get this, she said to me, birth is painless.
• 15:31
  Speaker 11: It doesn't hurt.
• 15:32
  Speaker 9: Pie.
• 15:34
  Speaker 11: I don't know, this shouldn't matter. I don't think this matters.
• 15:36
  Speaker 11: But like in my head, my mom.
• 15:39
  Speaker 9: Is a stick. She's like a quarter of the size
• 15:41
  Speaker 9: of me.
• 15:42
  Speaker 11: So I was like, Mom's miniature if she can push
• 15:45
  Speaker 11: out two big heads that me and my brother had.
• 15:47
  Speaker 9: And it's apparently painless.
• 15:49
  Speaker 11: This is a walking apart from me and my baby
• 15:52
  Speaker 11: was pretty small, but the way whatever the fuck she
• 15:55
  Speaker 11: was doing in there, it was just killing.
• 15:58
  Speaker 9: So yeah, birth was far and it was too late.
• 16:01
  Speaker 11: By the time I got through all all the hours
• 16:04
  Speaker 11: of dying in the whatever with the midwives.
• 16:07
  Speaker 9: And stuff, it was just too late to get an epy.
• 16:09
  Speaker 9: Like by the time I was like, what's going on, guys,
• 16:11
  Speaker 9: can I get the epidural?
• 16:12
  Speaker 11: They were like, you've literally you've probably only got an
• 16:15
  Speaker 11: hour left.
• 16:16
  Speaker 9: You're about to start start pushing.
• 16:18
  Speaker 11: You've just done this for like seven hours, like and
• 16:20
  Speaker 11: I was like, oh yeah, okay. Now it's like I'm
• 16:23
  Speaker 11: this is a mental thing, and I'm like, okay, I'm
• 16:25
  Speaker 11: not getting it, like I'm going to do this because
• 16:26
  Speaker 11: I was like, I should have got it like ten hours.
• 16:29
  Speaker 11: But when she came out, I was just so fricking
• 16:33
  Speaker 11: frothing and relieved that that was over and trying to figure.
• 16:36
  Speaker 9: Out how to hold this sip slippery little.
• 16:38
  Speaker 11: Sleep because they're so slippery slippery. No one tells you
• 16:41
  Speaker 11: that you're going to drop it.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: Like I was.
• 16:44
  Speaker 9: I wasn't in a bed.
• 16:45
  Speaker 11: I was on all fours on the little tile whatever
• 16:47
  Speaker 11: the floor is, and she was just so slippery and
• 16:51
  Speaker 11: I was like, shit, we're all covered in blood and
• 16:53
  Speaker 11: vomited and everything.
• 16:54
  Speaker 9: I'm going to drop this little egg.
• 16:56
  Speaker 11: It took so long of me just catching my breath
• 17:00
  Speaker 11: chilling for like a few minutes before my mom and
• 17:03
  Speaker 11: the midwives were like what is it?
• 17:05
  Speaker 9: Check what it is?
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Like, what is it? You know what?
• 17:07
  Speaker 11: What's what's the sex? And so that was super cool,
• 17:11
  Speaker 11: and I was like, holy ship. I was like almost
• 17:14
  Speaker 11: scared to like look because I was like, oh my god,
• 17:16
  Speaker 11: I can't believe I've just been so lost in this
• 17:18
  Speaker 11: moment of like just frothing that this little slugs in
• 17:21
  Speaker 11: my arms that.
• 17:22
  Speaker 9: I haven't even thought to look at what it is.
• 17:25
  Speaker 11: Because I'm just so stoked to have a healthy baby
• 17:28
  Speaker 11: that's screaming at me.
• 17:30
  Speaker 9: And yeah, it was a girl.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, Habilical cords also a bit confusing as well.
• 17:36
  Speaker 9: Your homos did you have to cut it?
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Did you cut it?
• 17:40
  Speaker 9: How hard is it to cut? Like Calamari, It was like.
• 17:47
  Speaker 11: My mom had this scissors and was like chopping, like
• 17:49
  Speaker 11: trying to it's not.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Easy because these are craps.
• 17:54
  Speaker 9: Yeah, literally the proper get cut open.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: Like kids safety, the plastic ones.
• 18:07
  Speaker 11: But nah, as you guys know, those moments are ridiculous.
• 18:10
  Speaker 9: And then I just remember they kind of.
• 18:12
  Speaker 11: Put me in the bed, babies on me, like figuring
• 18:15
  Speaker 11: out how to breastfeed and like that. But just like
• 18:17
  Speaker 11: you're so off with the fairies, You're just like, what
• 18:19
  Speaker 11: the hell. And then they're just like stitching me up
• 18:22
  Speaker 11: and doing whatever they're doing. And that's not even I'm
• 18:26
  Speaker 11: not even feeling a thing there because you're just so
• 18:28
  Speaker 11: wrapped up in like, oh my god, you've got a
• 18:30
  Speaker 11: baby on your boob and such a cool and my
• 18:33
  Speaker 11: mum was so great in those moments.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: The way that Pearl was conceived and you've come to
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: be a mum is so unique. Can you talk us
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: through when you made that decision or how the conversation
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: started to go down that that We were just talking
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: about it before Matt and I were like, how do
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: you put that on the table, like, talk us through
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: it if you don't.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Mind, of course, of course, Kylu.
• 18:55
  Speaker 6: My husband is a toaster Islander and it's really common
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: in Ireland culture to gift babies to other family members
• 19:02
  Speaker 6: that are struggling to have their own children, and they
• 19:04
  Speaker 6: truly believe that when they do that, they get their
• 19:06
  Speaker 6: own after they have their own after.
• 19:09
  Speaker 9: Which happens a lot.
• 19:10
  Speaker 6: You're not straight, not just my husband, although my husband
• 19:15
  Speaker 6: did think I was feed part feed GM when we
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: first met, so I was.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Like, just.
• 19:21
  Speaker 6: You listen to what I'm saying. So, yeah, when I
• 19:24
  Speaker 6: first started dating Kylou, I met his family and I
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: knew that a couple of his nieces, his sister, had
• 19:31
  Speaker 6: a couple of babies and she gifted her second one
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: to his mum. They lived in the same house, so
• 19:37
  Speaker 6: I knew of the concept of what you know it
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: was about. They call it custom island adoption. There is
• 19:42
  Speaker 6: an Island name for it, but I'll just give you
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: the English name, and so yeah, it's very common and
• 19:46
  Speaker 6: it's the highest form of respect in their culture to
• 19:48
  Speaker 6: gift it.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: Nina, my sister in law, she knew my story. She
• 19:52
  Speaker 6: knew I've been trying and I'd wanted to have babies,
• 19:55
  Speaker 6: and I would have had two kids by now if
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: it was like, you know, easy to pick a time,
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: and you know, it's just not in that easy for
• 20:01
  Speaker 6: me with a lot of different reasons with the period
• 20:02
  Speaker 6: stuff and being an athlete and wanting to miss events.
• 20:05
  Speaker 6: But so after the Rio Olympics, she sat me down
• 20:09
  Speaker 6: with Kylie's older sister and Kylo and she said, look,
• 20:12
  Speaker 6: we'd love to gift you a baby at some point
• 20:14
  Speaker 6: when the time's right for everyone.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Holy wow.
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: I was like, oh my gosh, huge, amazing. I wasn't
• 20:19
  Speaker 6: overwhelmed with it because I knew of the practice in
• 20:23
  Speaker 6: the culture, so I was like, oh, my gosh, is
• 20:25
  Speaker 6: if you do that?
• 20:25
  Speaker 9: I was like, oh wow.
• 20:26
  Speaker 6: I was more overwhelmed that, like it could have been
• 20:28
  Speaker 6: happening like soon.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: I was like, Oh, when you were struggling to fullbring it,
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: did you think, hey, this may be an option.
• 20:35
  Speaker 6: No, Kylon never really spoke about it, but I did
• 20:37
  Speaker 6: speak to his sister Nino about it a fair bit.
• 20:39
  Speaker 6: So it was always like kind of in my mind like, oh,
• 20:41
  Speaker 6: that that could be an option. But I really do
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: hope to still one day like be able to hold
• 20:45
  Speaker 6: a baby and still like a baby myself. But if
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: this is our only option, that's really cool too, Like
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: what a blessing? And so yeah, I guess what year
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: are we now? Twenty twenty four. I guess at the
• 20:57
  Speaker 6: start of yeah, twenty twenty two, we just finished our
• 21:01
  Speaker 6: Boomers season in Melbourne. I was playing for Melbourn Boomers
• 21:04
  Speaker 6: and I went home and held like a big gathering
• 21:06
  Speaker 6: from Kyler's family, my family at my house in cans
• 21:10
  Speaker 6: and my sister Nina was like, Taylor, I'm nine weeks pregnant.
• 21:12
  Speaker 6: And I was like a wild but She's like, if
• 21:15
  Speaker 6: it's a boy, we're going to keep it because we've
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: only got the one boy. But if it's a girl,
• 21:18
  Speaker 6: we want to gift it to you. And I was like,
• 21:20
  Speaker 6: oh my god, Like when the when's the test? When
• 21:22
  Speaker 6: do we know what it is?
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: They would have been trying and stuff without you knowing, yeah,
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: and then obviously knowing that they wanted to give to
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: you a baby. Yeah, then them saying hey, we're nine
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: weeks pregnant is as biggest shock to you as it
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: is to the rest of the family.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: I suppose, right, Yeah.
• 21:36
  Speaker 6: No, it was a bit of a shock, but I
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: really wanted to see what sex it was going to
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: be because they were going to keep the boy because
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: they'd only had one son and they wanted another son.
• 21:44
  Speaker 6: I was like that's totally fair, Like it's your child
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: even if.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: You don't want to give me, so you're still there's
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: still like fifty to fifty.
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, So as soon as we were able to be
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: got the test done and we the doctor's exact words,
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: but oh no, that's a hamburger. That's not a sausage,
• 21:57
  Speaker 6: and that's a hamburger, Like, oh was that the official
• 22:01
  Speaker 6: term medical.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: Term for it?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Is the same doctor that's reckoning. I was American funny.
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: So yeah, after that, after we found out the gender,
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: then we kind of just got into like, mind you,
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: I'm preparing for a World Cup like a major event,
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: while I'm preparing to be a mum, and so, you know,
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: just telling my family and the close friends that I had,
• 22:24
  Speaker 6: and I'm like, what, Like they weren't really aware of
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: the culture side of all. I don't really. I hadn't
• 22:30
  Speaker 6: spoken about, you know, how their family do that before,
• 22:32
  Speaker 6: so people kind of took a second to let it
• 22:34
  Speaker 6: sink in.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: And yeah, I mean, I think it's beautiful, but when
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: you first hear about it, you're like, because it's so
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: different to how Western culture would be.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I know, it's kind of like I didn't think it
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: was that was the thing, and there'd be so many
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: people listening right now that would be especially men.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they would be like I never thought that that
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: would be.
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: There was a lot of situ Yeah when I posted,
• 22:56
  Speaker 6: when it came out, there'd been articles written or whatever.
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: There was a lot of troll comings of just people
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: that just had no open mind or no idea, like
• 23:02
  Speaker 6: and that's fine, Like that's social media these days, right,
• 23:04
  Speaker 6: you can't do anything. I don't know that you get
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: troll coming to this podcast, though.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Normally it's just you guys swear too much. Yeah.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Really, we made Front of a dentists and then people
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: came after.
• 23:15
  Speaker 8: As we love the dentists doctors technically, but anyway, assuming
• 23:22
  Speaker 8: that you'd have a bit of a thick skin playing
• 23:24
  Speaker 8: professional sport, copying heat from people, we'll still.
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: Get to you sometimes though, if you let it. There's
• 23:29
  Speaker 6: a lot of stuff and it can be pretty debilitating
• 23:31
  Speaker 6: when you're not in a confident headspace, because we've always
• 23:33
  Speaker 6: got to maintain a confidence level to be able to
• 23:35
  Speaker 6: perform and play under pressure. I don't know what life
• 23:38
  Speaker 6: is like to not have pressure, like basketball pressure. And
• 23:41
  Speaker 6: if I finish one tournament, it's like, well, one game
• 23:43
  Speaker 6: will and what's next. There's always pressure for the next thing.
• 23:45
  Speaker 6: So I think when I retire in years to come,
• 23:49
  Speaker 6: because I feel like I've got a good chunk years
• 23:50
  Speaker 6: left in me, I can't wait to feel like what
• 23:53
  Speaker 6: life's like with no pressure basketball pressure.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: So I just it was boring over here.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Maybe yeah.
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: So once we back to the pearl train of events,
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: so once you know, it got closer to the time
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: I had the World Cup.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: We won a.
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: Bronze medal in Sydney. We beat Canada in the bronze
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: medal game. Nine days later, I'm in the theater with
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: Nina Wow, getting pearly. I was really nervous about the
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: connection piece. I was really nervous, like about everything.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: It was just in what way, well.
• 24:25
  Speaker 6: Because I hadn't held it. I hadn't, you know, actually
• 24:27
  Speaker 6: been growing her in my belly. So I was really
• 24:30
  Speaker 6: nervous about yeah, the connection, but skinned skin straight away
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: was with me and it was beautiful. Yeah yeah, wow,
• 24:36
  Speaker 6: yea or not the skin I held her straight away then,
• 24:39
  Speaker 6: like when we went to the recovery redinal skin on skin,
• 24:42
  Speaker 6: which was really beautiful. But I was also really nervous
• 24:44
  Speaker 6: and felt really guilty for taking away Nina's baby. And
• 24:48
  Speaker 6: she said to me in the in the recovery room,
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: she said, I, I've actually been holding her for you
• 24:54
  Speaker 6: this whole time. She's not been my baby this entire time.
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: She's been yours, and I've just been looking after it
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: for you.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: Disconnected from that. Yeah, really, I suppose you've got her.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I thought that.
• 25:04
  Speaker 6: I mean, we're really close to me and Nina, so
• 25:06
  Speaker 6: we talk a lot and we've got a really great relationship.
• 25:09
  Speaker 6: I guess you kind of have to to be able
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: to do this, but yeah, she was actually just down
• 25:13
  Speaker 6: in Sydney last week with her four year old son,
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: so that was really great for Pearl and Nicholas to
• 25:16
  Speaker 6: be able to have a play. But yeah, it was
• 25:18
  Speaker 6: a really I almost would like cry anytime, Like when
• 25:21
  Speaker 6: we had to leave the hospital and she went to
• 25:22
  Speaker 6: her house and we went to ours and I took Pearl.
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: I was so emotional because I felt this huge guilt
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: that I didn't anticipate once we had Pearl into the world,
• 25:31
  Speaker 6: that I was taking her away from Nina. Yeah, so
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: I had to kind of overcome.
• 25:35
  Speaker 9: Nina would laugh at me.
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: I'm like, oh, laugh, Yeah, So but she had already
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: kind of done.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: It in Yeah, being a single dad with girls, do
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: you think that time so much time with them has
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: helped you build a much stronger bond than maybe some
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: other dads have that are you know.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Still with the mom and there's that mix, this mixed.
• 25:56
  Speaker 12: For me, like Ahia, that bond is unbreakable purely because
• 26:02
  Speaker 12: from the day she was born it's been me and her.
• 26:06
  Speaker 12: For different circumstances gg I don't get as much, which
• 26:11
  Speaker 12: is hard for dads as well, right, because it's small
• 26:14
  Speaker 12: the I would say, the stereotypical you know break up
• 26:18
  Speaker 12: where the mother mother has majority. You know, we always
• 26:23
  Speaker 12: want more, but that's it's different, you know, like we
• 26:28
  Speaker 12: I hope that. The hard thing is I wanted to
• 26:30
  Speaker 12: look forward to seeing me every time she sees me,
• 26:32
  Speaker 12: so as a dad when you've got her, I don't
• 26:34
  Speaker 12: want to I spoil her. But how much do you
• 26:37
  Speaker 12: spoil them that they don't benefit the right way?
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: I've got thursdays. Other days it's called daddy doing night
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: and and we have like swimming in the morning, and
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: it's you know, it's the one day where Laura is working,
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: my wife and so she's me and the girls, and
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: and it's this hard balance of I wanted to be
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: a really memorable, enjoyable experience, and so you want to
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: give them things that they enjoy. But at the same time,
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: it's also hard when it's just a bad day. Yeah,
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: sometimes the girls didn't have a good sleep, they're cranky,
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: they don't want to get their swimmers and got to
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: swimming lessons, and so it ends up being a shit
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: day where I'd spent disciplining.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: And then how was it for you? When you do
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: that little window with Gigi and you build it up
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: to be something great and then.
• 27:21
  Speaker 12: It's not, and you sometimes heartbreaking because you got you've
• 27:24
  Speaker 12: only got a short period of time, like a couple
• 27:27
  Speaker 12: of days with her in a week, and if it's
• 27:29
  Speaker 12: not a good time, you're disappointed, and it's sad because
• 27:32
  Speaker 12: you got to drop it back on a bad note. Yeah,
• 27:34
  Speaker 12: it just hasn't gone to plan, and you don't have
• 27:36
  Speaker 12: that every day time to be with her for her,
• 27:39
  Speaker 12: you know. So it is hard for dads like that,
• 27:42
  Speaker 12: and it just doesn't always care to plan, right, especially they.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Probably get older as well and they're into their own things,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: or they might I mean with my daughter. She's so
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: young that like if we have a tip, you know,
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: we can get over pretty quick. You know, when that
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: as they get, as she gets older and more stubborn
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: and illien herself and can be like, well, I'm going
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: to hold this grudge against you now because that's not
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: fair what you did.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: Whatever it might be, it must be really hard.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine that drop off at the end of
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: your time and you haven't been able to mend that bridge,
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: and then you've got to.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Wait all that this time to try and try and
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: have that moment.
• 28:17
  Speaker 12: And it's your own daughter, you know, Yeah, it's hard
• 28:20
  Speaker 12: to take you as you go back again to all
• 28:23
  Speaker 12: you ever think of is as someone as a kid
• 28:25
  Speaker 12: or just growing up, is having that perfect family right
• 28:28
  Speaker 12: where you've got your kids and you know, I was
• 28:31
  Speaker 12: brought up in well it didn't end up being a
• 28:34
  Speaker 12: perfect family, but it was from my childhood. And then
• 28:37
  Speaker 12: you get to a point where it's just not and
• 28:39
  Speaker 12: you've got to deal with it. But that's like, you know,
• 28:41
  Speaker 12: we've all got we've all got ways of dealing with
• 28:44
  Speaker 12: different things and things we've got to navigate through. And
• 28:47
  Speaker 12: it's a constant challenge for me but I love I
• 28:50
  Speaker 12: love my girls, and I love bring and dads.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Well well, well, well, well, well here we are ash.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: It's nice to revisit those voices.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: Trying to say that with a really serious face sound
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: like someone who's got is this schizophrenia?
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: That's what I say to myself every night podcast. I
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: can't wait to lay down and revisit those voices.
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: Look, the series are best of episodes because we are
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: having a delicious, wonderful, relaxing break over the Christmas period.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: So we will be back with you next week for
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: another best of episode.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: And if you've enjoyed that, please leave us a review,
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: a New Year's review.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Some would say, well said five stars and then join
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: us on socials, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and we love you
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: all goes without saying see you next year.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: We'd be nothing without you.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: We appreciate your support. You sound desperate now.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: We are as see you next year.
• 29:59
  Speaker 12: Two.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: Doting Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestrate Islander
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.