Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / Girls With Autism And Social Anxiety

Transcript

Girls With Autism And Social Anxiety · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

• 0:00
  Hey guys, welcome back to another side.
• 0:01
  They live super pumped to have another guest on the show.
• 0:10
  Yet again. Okay so I am back with the
• 0:13
  Spectrum. Girl, I actually know this lady
• 0:17
  through Instagram and I started following you maybe I don't know
• 0:20
  maybe six months ago or something like that and I really
• 0:22
  enjoy your post a very well done and I do believe that you are
• 0:26
  not getting enough eyeballs on your content.
• 0:28
  So anybody who's watching and listening right now needs to go
• 0:31
  and follow the Spectrum. Got I'll leave links in the show
• 0:34
  notes and in the description is videos, so you can check her
• 0:37
  out. Anyway.
• 0:38
  Charlotte will introduce yourself and tell us what you
• 0:40
  do. Yeah.
• 0:41
  Hi, my name is Charlotte. I'm Norwegian and I am newly
• 0:49
  discovered Autistic or not. Well, the past couple of years
• 0:53
  or so. So and I'm almost 40 years old.
• 0:56
  So it's kind of late but I found out, but I got my diagnosis and
• 1:01
  also I have ADD and the inattentive ADHD type and yeah.
• 1:10
  So Yeah, I started instagramming with the Spectrum, girl last
• 1:18
  year. So, one year ago, it's not been
• 1:20
  one year yet, but I just found this whole community on
• 1:25
  Instagram and we'll just like, wow, wow, so many cool people.
• 1:29
  And nice people. And and I've learned so much
• 1:35
  about myself and about other people.
• 1:39
  And like, Except then stand. What a ride.
• 1:44
  Huh? I'm I'm so happy.
• 1:47
  I found all of this amazing and you know, so you only to you
• 1:52
  only use Instagram, actually, that's the only platform for
• 1:55
  Distributing content, right? Yes.
• 1:59
  So far. Yeah because I am a little bit,
• 2:04
  I'm struggling a bit with executive functioning and so I'm
• 2:08
  thinking I'm better off starting with small, you know?
• 2:13
  Just yeah. 100% And I think it works really well because, you
• 2:18
  know, you need to have like one Focus platform.
• 2:21
  I think when you're doing something, especially when you
• 2:22
  have advocacy, so that work is really important to kind of just
• 2:25
  narrow down to like one audience type when you're Last year.
• 2:30
  So one year ago, it's not been one year yet, but I just found
• 2:35
  this whole community on Instagram animal, just like wow,
• 2:39
  so many cool people and nice people.
• 2:42
  And and I've learned so much about myself and about other
• 2:49
  people, and like self-acceptance, and what a
• 2:55
  ride, huh? I'm I'm so.
• 2:58
  Happy. I found all of this amazing and,
• 3:01
  you know, so you only so you only use Instagram, actually,
• 3:05
  that's the only platform for Distributing content, right?
• 3:09
  Yes. So far.
• 3:11
  Yeah because I am a little bit, I'm struggling a bit with
• 3:16
  executive functioning and so I'm thinking I'm better off starting
• 3:23
  with small, you know? Just yeah. 100% And I think it
• 3:28
  works really well because, you know, you need to have like one
• 3:31
  Focus platform. I think when you're doing
• 3:33
  something, especially when you have advocacy, so that work is
• 3:35
  really important to kind of just narrow down to like one audience
• 3:38
  type when you're Passing out because I did it.
• 3:40
  First of all, I started on YouTube if I did anything else
• 3:42
  and then I moved on to the other platforms to do content on
• 3:44
  those. And I've seen a bunch of your
• 3:46
  post on this is so well done. So the question I have to ask
• 3:49
  is, do you edit all of your to make those images yourself?
• 3:54
  Yeah. Like the images, I just take
• 3:57
  them with my iPhone and just edit them in the like you know,
• 4:03
  what was called? Just normal editing thing.
• 4:09
  Yeah, and filters and stuff like that.
• 4:12
  Like making it look more light and fresh colorful, but it's
• 4:17
  like you do, like, you do a lot of like the, like written
• 4:21
  content. Like you swipe.
• 4:23
  Yeah, you like swipe for written content, right?
• 4:27
  Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
• 4:30
  You mean the slides like? Yeah, my Graphics?
• 4:32
  Yeah, you do a lot of kind of come to?
• 4:34
  Yeah, I used to be a graphic designer.
• 4:38
  Okay, that makes sense. It's so good but I thank you.
• 4:44
  Thank you so much II, actually I quit being a graphic designer,
• 4:52
  three years ago or so when I hit my big autistic burnout and I
• 4:57
  became suicidal and all that like that so I didn't know at
• 5:01
  the time that I was always artistic and that's why I became
• 5:06
  so burned out. And so but being a yeah.
• 5:10
  So, being a graphic designer is quite difficult because you have
• 5:15
  to always talk to clients. So it involves talking to so
• 5:19
  many people and meeting so many people and all the time and city
• 5:22
  in all. Yeah, open floor office and all
• 5:26
  that, and it just killed me. And also, I had so many
• 5:31
  conflicts at work places with bosses and colleagues that
• 5:36
  people called me, rude, all the time.
• 5:38
  And I'm like, what? No, I'm not.
• 5:40
  Yeah, you like swipe for written content, right?
• 5:44
  Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
• 5:46
  You mean the slides like? Yeah my Graphics?
• 5:49
  Yeah you do a lot of kind of come to a graphic designer.
• 5:55
  Okay that makes sense. It's so good but I thank you.
• 6:01
  Thank you so much II. Actually I quit being a graphic
• 6:06
  designer, three years ago or so when I hit my big autistic
• 6:12
  burnout and I became I'm suicidal and all that like that.
• 6:16
  So I didn't know at the time that I was always artistic and
• 6:22
  that's why I became so burned out.
• 6:24
  And so, but being a yeah, so being a graphic designer is
• 6:29
  quite difficult because you have to always talk to clients.
• 6:34
  So it involves talking to so many people, and meeting so many
• 6:37
  people and all the time. Instead of being an open.
• 6:41
  Yeah, open floor office and all that and Just killed me.
• 6:45
  And also, I had so many conflicts at work places with
• 6:51
  bosses and colleagues that people called me.
• 6:53
  Rude all the time. And I'm like what?
• 6:56
  No, I'm not. I did not mean that that way.
• 7:00
  I didn't mean. Yeah.
• 7:02
  You know. So I was I just got so tired of
• 7:04
  explaining all the damn time every day.
• 7:07
  I was like the villain in any situation.
• 7:10
  I got so depressed that I just Went to the doctor one day.
• 7:15
  I think it's prayers ago, that was 2018 and I said I if I go
• 7:19
  back to work I'm going to die. Like I'm going to kill myself
• 7:23
  and I was really really, really, really depressed.
• 7:26
  So but that's it's fine. Now, I'm good now.
• 7:30
  No worries. Good, I'm glad nobody because,
• 7:35
  yeah, because you have to interact with so many difficult
• 7:39
  clients and and then that becomes a problem when you I'm
• 7:43
  really, you know, it's important to me with them Justice to be
• 7:48
  like things are fair. Yeah, of course and if you see
• 7:53
  that the client is choosing some really bad design option, then
• 7:58
  it's so difficult for me to like not say anything and also like
• 8:03
  my bosses would become really upset with me even though I was
• 8:07
  dry. Like I was factually correct.
• 8:10
  I would become the villain anyway so I couldn't deal with.
• 8:13
  Any more I just became more and more you know, frustrated and
• 8:16
  depressed and you know it just went how.
• 8:18
  So but anyway probably my my slides and my my Instagram looks
• 8:25
  a little bit like like I had I'm doing but actually to be honest
• 8:31
  I have thrown out the window kind of all of the rules of a
• 8:37
  graphic designer so it's probably people in the graphic
• 8:41
  design. Community would probably like
• 8:44
  the last at my slides and think they look cheesy, but I don't
• 8:48
  care anymore, I don't care. You gotta do here, right?
• 8:51
  And I think they look great and I think, you know, you're
• 8:53
  offering a lot of value to people.
• 8:55
  I mean it's not the style of the thing that helps, it's the
• 8:57
  information, that's good innit. So I think you're absolutely
• 9:00
  right to, you know, just ignore the rules of kind of like
• 9:02
  pressure to do something a certain way and just keep doing
• 9:05
  you doing. So how did you how did you come
• 9:07
  about thinking that you were going to use Instagram as a way
• 9:10
  of communicating, your kind of newly diagnosed or Is inspection
• 9:14
  condition. Like what was, what was that
• 9:15
  process? Yeah, I found a couple of memes
• 9:20
  about autism or Asperger's, like back when it was still kind of
• 9:26
  ok2say. Asperger's, I found some memes
• 9:31
  and I was like, what, what is this?
• 9:34
  It's like somebody who my head and then it's kind of, it's
• 9:38
  ignited. This old Like I in 2016, I
• 9:45
  started to consider that maybe I have Asperger's and because I
• 9:53
  didn't, yeah, I saw a woman on TV talking about it like I'm 30
• 9:58
  years old and I'm not functioning at work.
• 10:01
  I'm like, yeah. It was more than that, of
• 10:02
  course, but that's when I started thinking about it, but I
• 10:05
  kind of threw away that idea because people kind of laughed
• 10:08
  at me, when I said, I think I want to say, like I think I have
• 10:11
  a spare. As and they kind of laughed at
• 10:13
  me. So I threw it away until 2018.
• 10:15
  When I had my way I'd burn out and I was like bedridden for one
• 10:18
  year and I started going to therapy and then I saw these
• 10:21
  memes on Instagram and I went to my therapist and I took some
• 10:26
  tests online and I showed it to my therapist and he's like oh my
• 10:28
  God we need to do something about this and and and then the
• 10:33
  ball started to roll and I got sent to a neuropsychologist and
• 10:38
  I took all these cognitive tests and all those paperwork, all of
• 10:41
  that, you know, And then I'm like, yeah, you have like a very
• 10:44
  high score and I'm really. Yeah, that's good.
• 10:48
  And so here I am. I started to to I started to
• 10:52
  Instagram, like around. Yeah, because of that.
• 10:58
  No, no, it's perfect. You know, this is what I wanted
• 11:01
  to do. I, you know, I like to
• 11:03
  interview, you know, females on on my channel because I feel
• 11:08
  like this it's so much misrepresentation you know,
• 11:10
  there's not a lot of female. Influences, influencing young
• 11:13
  girls, you know, coming up and dealing with the kind of issues
• 11:16
  that you probably dealt with. So, this is perfect.
• 11:18
  The to hear your story is great for them.
• 11:20
  So, in terms of like, you know, your day-to-day life, I mean
• 11:23
  that you have kids that you married, like, do you still have
• 11:26
  any? What you have a job or yeah.
• 11:29
  No, I'm not. I see I'm not in problems, just
• 11:34
  like getting to that, like a short answer.
• 11:37
  That's fine. Well, now I'm gonna just cut to
• 11:44
  the chase. No, I don't have a family like,
• 11:47
  children or boyfriend or a husband.
• 11:49
  And I'm just living here all by myself.
• 11:51
  Like totally Bridget Jones style, and bring ice cream and
• 11:56
  singing to myself. Yeah, I have two rabbits but
• 12:01
  they are going away tomorrow. I have to re-home them because
• 12:06
  of an illness that I have with the crystals in my inner ear
• 12:10
  that makes me dizzy. What now, Night, lean over the
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  bunnies. Triggered it because I had like
• 12:20
  a, like a episode for like a year and I thought I was okay.
• 12:23
  And then I got bunnies and I had to like tilt my head very long
• 12:27
  time, so it triggered the balance nerve again, and I like
• 12:31
  everything starts spinning. So, now I have to re-home, so
• 12:35
  I'm going to be like, completely along like tomorrow.
• 12:39
  Oh my goodness. Is that?
• 12:40
  Is that what is it? The condition.
• 12:44
  It's bppv like vertigo. It's a very complex Yeah.
• 12:53
  Benign postural peroxide. Very remote vertical.
• 13:00
  I see. So you spend a lot of time with
• 13:03
  your yo-yo Hawthorne stuff and I guess you've got a few visits to
• 13:07
  the doctor, right? Yeah.
• 13:10
  With that. The vertigo thing.
• 13:11
  Yeah. But you know what?
• 13:22
  One of the things that I find interesting about your Instagram
• 13:25
  channel, it's very, very open and honest like a lot of people
• 13:29
  just like, we'll just use what it influences on people who are
• 13:32
  like, you know, in our kind of autism Community, will just go
• 13:36
  on there and just like use as a journal or a way of venting any
• 13:40
  issues that have right. They'll just write posts and
• 13:42
  I'll get angry and stuff. But what I like about your
• 13:44
  Instagram is that you'll just go live and look down.
• 13:46
  So I'm cooking I'm making this and making that and and it's
• 13:49
  just so nice to just like feel You know, feel like kind of like
• 13:54
  is this is a typical person just doing the typical things, but
• 13:57
  obviously they have the same issues as you know, and I think
• 13:59
  that's really nice. And this is why I encourage
• 14:00
  everybody to check out your Instagram page because it's so
• 14:03
  well done. And it's so like genuine, you
• 14:06
  know, I think that kind of is a Miss sometimes, you know, even
• 14:08
  I'm kind of profile that, you know, I have like an image I put
• 14:11
  on my Instagram that like I keep it like that, you know?
• 14:14
  Because I don't put like, I don't release my son's name.
• 14:16
  I don't least my son's face on Instagram or any my social
• 14:20
  medias. You know, I keep his His life
• 14:21
  private. But, you know, and so there's
• 14:24
  when I suppose it has benefited me, just for, she's you living
• 14:26
  alone. You get to kind of put whatever
• 14:28
  you want a bright and that's it. Yeah, the reason I asked is
• 14:31
  because, you know, how do not like that, it's just that you
• 14:37
  have to offer, right? And I think, you know, one of
• 14:42
  the things that fascinates me is that when you have people who
• 14:45
  are on the Spectrum and they have like children or they have
• 14:47
  like, you know, like a husband or a wife and then, you know,
• 14:49
  that that can cause more Chaos in certain areas because of the
• 14:54
  difficulties that will present in like a third party.
• 14:57
  So when you, when you're, when you're, you know, you're on the
• 14:59
  Spectrum. When you have like issues with
• 15:01
  certain things, when you add and a third party into that, like a
• 15:03
  child or a husband or a wife. Yeah.
• 15:05
  Those things can become like, you know, other issues that you
• 15:08
  have deal. So what's it like living on your
• 15:10
  own then? I mean, how do you find, you
• 15:13
  know, self living and stuff? Yeah to interact only with
• 15:18
  myself. You mean yeah I'm function of
• 15:20
  daily life. Like a you you able to like cook
• 15:23
  and stuff in your own. It can you clean things?
• 15:25
  Okay. I want to turn around the camera
• 15:28
  and show you all my mess. I could probably like show you
• 15:31
  all the mess. I have behind me here.
• 15:33
  I can't keep my Night II. Don't function at all.
• 15:38
  It's like even worse than the. I have a corner in the kitchen.
• 15:41
  It's like I'm a total mess. That's my a.d.d.
• 15:44
  I think the add because yeah I just start procrastinating
• 15:51
  procrastinating too much and think and just float and yeah.
• 15:56
  And my artistic side really is bothered by it, it wants to have
• 16:03
  more water. But still, there's this very
• 16:08
  conflicting but I can't I I think also because I have had
• 16:12
  the rabbits. They have kind of interfered
• 16:14
  with my normal routine so they're kind of I think they
• 16:17
  have made it even worse but I'm even more messy because I have
• 16:21
  to take care of the rabbits. I will be become a little bit
• 16:26
  more organized after they leave. I hate to say it and it's like,
• 16:30
  really, I feel evil but I I'm I'm curious to see the I feel
• 16:37
  like maybe I was a little bit more organized before I have the
• 16:40
  rabbits. Like you say you could see me
• 16:42
  making cooking videos and stuff and now that you mention it, I
• 16:46
  don't think I've met any cooking videos after I got the rabbits
• 16:48
  like in February. Think I completely stopped.
• 16:53
  So maybe. Yeah.
• 16:55
  I think maybe I'm going to function a lot better.
• 16:57
  This was your fault. Dude.
• 16:59
  It's so funny because like your hair is perfect.
• 17:03
  It's like it's on point right now.
• 17:04
  Like you were so put together. Like you know I mean like the
• 17:08
  Princess Leia thing going on. I love it.
• 17:09
  It's cool. If you have some further down
• 17:13
  the does, I'm all like yeah. Very nice.
• 17:18
  Very nice is very like, European 90s like dance music round.
• 17:22
  So so what kind of stuff like, what kind of day-to-day stuff
• 17:27
  like really causes issues for you?
• 17:29
  Like, you know, grocery store shopping or like washing
• 17:32
  clothes, wash the dishes. Like, what's the answer?
• 17:35
  Of course, is the fuse. Well, what causes you most
• 17:38
  issues like O+ most issues? Yeah.
• 17:42
  Well, that is, if too many things happen at once, I will
• 17:46
  become, I will lose my mind. I will lose my head will just
• 17:49
  fall off my body and be on the floor looking around like a
• 17:55
  headless chicken. I will be running around like
• 17:57
  yeah, that's it. Doesn't like it needs to be one
• 18:02
  thing i-i'm doing at a time. Oh no.
• 18:06
  No, I know, I realized like why everything got so messy when I
• 18:11
  got the rabbits, because I can only take care of myself,
• 18:13
  obviously, like running out of time, but definitely them
• 18:19
  because of my crystal are crystal thingy.
• 18:23
  That's why it's super super interesting.
• 18:26
  Like, I do find it fascinating because, like, you know, I if I
• 18:30
  was to live alone, nothing would get done, I won't be able to
• 18:34
  cook. I wouldn't be able to I can't
• 18:37
  really manage cleaning and organizing things, you know,
• 18:39
  then I go front is all of those things with me and helps me in.
• 18:42
  So I think it's such an achievement that you can like,
• 18:45
  you have this like self-contained apartment on kind
• 18:47
  of like MV. So that's kind of cool.
• 18:48
  Look up to that. I think is cool, very small,
• 18:51
  it's good, 26:26, quadratic methods, I don't know what about
• 18:55
  the quadrat method is in English as M2?
• 18:59
  Yes, yes, yes, come here. It's like yeah, it's good.
• 19:04
  Just 26. It's just so small.
• 19:06
  Mall. My bathroom is bigger than my
• 19:08
  sleeping cave, sleeping cave. Well maybe you could do like
• 19:12
  maybe you could do like a tiny house to on the on your on your
• 19:15
  channel that we call after I've cleaned up after that poor
• 19:19
  Roberts of gum. Okay so here's a question and
• 19:23
  show since you've been such an interesting guest.
• 19:25
  What would you like to say to girls who may have been in the
• 19:28
  same boat, who may be in the same position that you were in
• 19:30
  back in 2016 2017? 2018, you know, before you got
• 19:33
  your diagnosis what would you say to those girls who may be
• 19:36
  listening? Sitting and watching right now.
• 19:38
  Well, I, I would say to them that there's always a way to, to
• 19:45
  find understanding of about yourself.
• 19:47
  And if you're confused and feeling like there's no hope, of
• 19:51
  course, there is hope because I almost like, literally almost
• 19:55
  gave up and, and I actually did give up and, and but I, but I'm
• 20:01
  here. We're all thankful for that, and
• 20:04
  also don't be. Yeah, thank you.
• 20:06
  Don't be scared of me. Occations that's something.
• 20:09
  I was scared of my entire life. Now, I'm regretting it.
• 20:11
  I started way too late on antidepressants and it's not for
• 20:15
  everyone, but I would recommend if you were like really freaking
• 20:18
  depressed like try, it does not end of the world, like try it,
• 20:22
  or ADHD medication whatever it could really help like if like
• 20:27
  that I would also recommend like to try that in therapy, go to
• 20:31
  therapy. Talk go and talk to people and
• 20:35
  and get away from toxic people. People if you're around toxic
• 20:40
  people just like, yeah, that's amazing.
• 20:43
  Thank you so much. Yeah, I do.
• 20:46
  And I'm sorry. You were gonna say something
• 20:48
  else. You said don't ya?
• 20:51
  And I'm talking constantly know it's about it.
• 20:55
  No, no, it's fine. It's same here.
• 20:56
  Like I get told off people always like let your guests
• 20:58
  speak and I'm like a little bit like talking constantly very
• 21:04
  alike like that but I talked so much.
• 21:08
  I was on the TV interview last week or Norwegian breakfast TV
• 21:11
  and I just talked and talked and talked and then suddenly the the
• 21:16
  interviewer said well Charlotte. Thank you for coming.
• 21:19
  I'm sorry, huh. So funny dude, right?
• 21:28
  So if people want to find you on the internet and find out more
• 21:31
  about your life and your rabbits and everything else is going on
• 21:33
  with you, how do they find you it on Instagram?
• 21:36
  And is that the best place? Yeah, it's the only place right
• 21:40
  now and what is what's the Instagram handle it?
• 21:44
  Sit at the Spectrum, go. Yeah, Spectrum girl.
• 21:49
  Just The heads. Excellent.
• 21:51
  I will leave a link in the show notes on the description of this
• 21:54
  video so you guys can directly go and yeah, check out the
• 21:58
  Spectrum girl. Charlotte you've been amazing.
• 21:59
  Thank you so much for coming on the show.
• 22:01
  Thank you. Thank you very much.
• 22:03
  Thanks for listening to this podcast episode.
• 22:05
  If you are new, don't forget to subscribe to listen to more of
• 22:08
  these because I know that you're listening and you're not
• 22:10
  subscribed. So do it right now.
• 22:11
  All right, guys, talk to you soon.