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Terminally Online: Live from Crooked Con (Subscription Preview) · Pod Save America

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey everybody, we are off for Thanksgiving, but we would
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: never want to leave you without some sweet, sweet content.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: So please enjoy a part of our subscription show, Terminally Online,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: which we recorded live at CrookedCon. You can hear the
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: full episode when you sign up for Friends of the
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Pod at crooked.com slash friends. When you sign up, you
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: get ad-free episodes of Pod Save America, Pod Save the World,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Love It or Leave It, and Offline. Plus you get
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: exclusive content like Dan Pfeiffer's Polar Coaster and more for
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: a limited Black Friday offer. Annual subscriptions are 25% off.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: So go sign up, get that offer. It is the
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: best way to directly support us as we try to
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: build a truly independent progressive media organization. Again, that's crooked.com
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: slash friends. Now here's terminally online.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Welcome to terminally online, the crooked subscription show live from crooked.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: I'm Elijah Cohn.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: I'm John Favreau.
• 0:53
  Speaker 5: I'm Dan Pfeiffer.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: I'm Tommy Vitor.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: I'm John Lovett.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: No Barack Obama coming out.
• 0:59
  Speaker 5: No Barack Obama. All right, you guys want to play
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: a game?
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sure.
• 1:03
  Speaker 5: All right, let's do it. We're going to do a
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: blind rankings.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: If you're unfamiliar with how blind rankings work, I'm going
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: to give you five things. You'll have to rank them
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: as they come, but you don't know what's coming next,
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: so be careful to leave that one or five spot open.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: What we are going to be ranking is the most
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: online politicians of 2025.
• 1:24
  Speaker 6: I have some questions. And for those who watch the
• 1:29
  Speaker 6: show or are familiar with Elijah's work, you know that
• 1:31
  Speaker 6: he often hasn't thought of all the rules here. So
• 1:34
  Speaker 6: are we each ranking them or are we ranking them collectively?
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: Consensus.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: Consensus.
• 1:39
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: I was going to ask that in a nicer way.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: Kind of the theme of the con.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Look.
• 1:43
  Speaker 6: Some of these people are Tourmaline fans, and one of...
• 1:45
  Speaker 6: Elijah told me himself, he said, bully me. He said,
• 1:47
  Speaker 6: one of the appeals of the show is when we
• 1:49
  Speaker 6: pick on him. So, people came all the way from
• 1:52
  Speaker 6: all across the country, and we're not going to pick
• 1:54
  Speaker 6: on Elijah. Watch Elijah get bullied in person.
• 1:56
  Speaker 8: Let it begin.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: We got 38 minutes.
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: I think it's a killer segment. I think that you
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: guys are going to love it.
• 2:02
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: We'll let the audience judge. All right.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: First politician, kind of the pace car here, President Donald J.
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: Trump, the old man.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: May have lost a couple miles per hour, but he's
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: still got his fastball. Throwing out all caps truths. Posting
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: AI videos. Dumping shit on Harry Sisson, which is just
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: like a deeply online thing to know who that is.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Instant classic.
• 2:27
  Speaker 9: Are we docking points for only posting on his dumb
• 2:30
  Speaker 9: little tiny corner of the internet?
• 2:32
  Speaker 5: You can slice that either way.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's so online, he like got banned and
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: did his own platform.
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: And are we one to five here?
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Is that what it is?
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, you're putting him in a one to
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: five spot.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: No, I understand how the game works.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: Are there five people?
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Honestly, you're not like ranking him like a rating of one.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: Get his ass, Dan.
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: I just want to know how many people.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: I want to know how many people. I feel like
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: we can't go wrong with a three.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: Do we want a two, though?
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: I think a two. I think a two.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: I mean, that's a lot of people left. Love it.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: So here's, look, I don't want to get too ahead
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: of Elijah, but, you know, look, we've battled before and
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I've studied his moves.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: So we know we have J.D.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Vance coming.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: We've got to leave the number one spot open. There's
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: another super online person that we need to be aware of.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I think three is right. So I think we get
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: to deduct points for Trump because he is super online,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: but only in his little sandbox. He's almost like, remember
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: in the office when they gave Creed a Word document
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: to write into? Like that's basically what he's doing now.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: And also to the J.D.
• 3:37
  Speaker 10: Vance point, Like, you can't be the most online politician
• 3:41
  Speaker 10: if all you're doing is posting without replying to anyone.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Right. Right. There's been no Trump replies. That's a good point.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: Right, right, right.
• 3:48
  Speaker 9: No receiving.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: Which makes me, that's why I'm saying.
• 3:51
  Speaker 9: Two or three.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: That's why I'm like.
• 3:52
  Speaker 9: Before we commit to three.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: Or two. Or two, sorry.
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: Before we commit to two or three, would you say
• 3:57
  Speaker 6: that Gavin Newsom is more online than Donald Trump?
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: It's a staff thing for him.
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: You think it's a staff?
• 4:02
  Speaker 10: Wait a minute. Do you think when he's posting from
• 4:05
  Speaker 10: his account... like obviously there's the gavin newsom press office
• 4:08
  Speaker 10: account that's wild but like i feel like newsom himself
• 4:12
  Speaker 10: is posting from him sometimes no i also.
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: Think he's deeply familiar with the online discourse.
• 4:18
  Speaker 9: Yes yeah yeah i think i think i think i
• 4:21
  Speaker 9: think three is.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Right three for trump right yeah all right donald trump
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: but he's the pace card we'll start at three okay
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: next politician Zoran Mamdani. A lot of ink has been
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: spilled about how he gets it. It's a new kind
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: of campaign. The best digital campaign ever run. Clearly he
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: gets it. If you've seen his old posts, they're pretty
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: peak lib posting.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: You know who he forgot? Graham Platner. He's on my
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: honorable mentions.
• 4:49
  Speaker 10: Reddit is a platform.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: If you're a Reddit poster, you're deeply online.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: He's an inspirational story of what you can do after
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: being too online.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Maybe.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Maybe. He could be on the list. Wait a minute.
• 5:03
  Speaker 9: Doron's really like... Online is like... It's like a sickness.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: We're also... We're doing 2025, right? This is not like
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: all time. Okay, that's good to know.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think if you know if we were going
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: to work Graham Plattner into this, it's, you know, your
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: scandal's coming to light year.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Right, you're right.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: That's important.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: But he's not online now. He's like, you can't be online.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: There's no signal out there with the oysters.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: I don't think.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know where they come from.
• 5:30
  Speaker 9: I'm not an oyster farmer.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I guess close to land. So I think Zoran seems
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: too well-adjusted, and he's instinctively not defensive, which is a
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: fundamentally not online thing.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: I would say four or five. Totally. Yeah, because he's
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: also not replying either.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: I don't think.
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: I think he, like Gavin, he's very familiar with the discourse,
• 5:52
  Speaker 6: but he's not a poster.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Now are we comfortable? What do we think, four or five?
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: I think four in case five is like Joe Biden.
• 5:59
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I think there's going to be.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: I think there's going to be... I think we've got one.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I think we've got one person whose iPhone screen text
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: is so large you can only see a few words
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: at a time.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Present company accepted.
• 6:14
  Speaker 10: How many different places are you going to go after
• 6:16
  Speaker 10: Chuck Schumer today?
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: This is my last panel.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: Last night, today.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I've hit it at every panel and in every interview.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: So where do we land? It's my message of the day. Woo!
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Where do we land? Four or five?
• 6:28
  Speaker 11: Four.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: All right, so Donald Trump three, Zoramandani four. Next up,
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: here's the curveball one.
• 6:33
  Speaker 8: All right.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Nancy Mace.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Nancy Mace, a person who is deeply online in a
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: way that's kind of uncomfortable to talk about. It's kind
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: of just an excuse to talk about the Charleston airport thing.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Does anyone want to try to explain what's going on there?
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: Can I say something embarrassing? Sure.
• 6:52
  Speaker 11: Sure.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: I have no idea what the Charleston airport thing is. Oh, dude.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: No. What?
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: Are you okay? How dare you?
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: That's a lie.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: You're lying.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: It's been a busy week. Oh, man. It's good stuff.
• 7:04
  Speaker 10: And I've been trying to just do a lot of,
• 7:06
  Speaker 10: I've been my, you know, I've just been deep in
• 7:08
  Speaker 10: the precinct county swing.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: You have been boasting like a motherfucker the whole time.
• 7:13
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: Not about Nancy Mays.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: You used your phone at the urinal. There surely was time.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: I've seen you at the urinal use your phone. Let's not.
• 7:24
  Speaker 9: What are you guys trying to tell us? So Nancy
• 7:28
  Speaker 9: Mace showed up at the Charleston airport, had some sort
• 7:31
  Speaker 9: of police escort that was either delayed or like expected
• 7:35
  Speaker 9: her to show up in a different car than the
• 7:37
  Speaker 9: one she arrived in. And she berated these cops. And
• 7:41
  Speaker 9: then it became a story. I think a reporter at
• 7:44
  Speaker 9: Wired reported it out and was like fired four days
• 7:46
  Speaker 9: later because the HR guy had Connie Nass is a
• 7:49
  Speaker 9: huge asshole.
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: Different online story.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: But different online story.
• 7:52
  Speaker 9: But we're connecting the dots. And then she posted a
• 7:56
  Speaker 9: video about it, about how disappointed she was in the police.
• 7:59
  Speaker 9: And like every politician, Republican and Democrat in South Carolina,
• 8:03
  Speaker 9: basically weighed in to say she's a moron.
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: So the gubernatorial race is going well. Going great.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Tim Scott put out a statement.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Tim Scott, yeah.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Tim Scott put out a statement basically saying, I'm always
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: nice to the police. If you're going to invoke my name,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: don't pretend I won't say anything.
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: Did she invoke his name?
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: She said, like, you're always nicer to Tim Scott, something
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: like that. Or Tim Scott, it never happened to Tim Scott,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: so to that effect. And he's like, actually, I'm always
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: quite kind to these police officers who work very hard
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: and do a good job. And the closest thing, he
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: doesn't curse, but he basically said, you can go fuck yourself.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: She's really going through something, huh? Yeah.
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: There are some bipartisan letters.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Lindsey Graham also made a statement that are just like, hey,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: we really like the staff at the Charleston airport.
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: She's posted about it hundreds of times.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: Real Streisand effect. I think she's got to be two.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: I think it's two. I think it's two.
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: That was the right call.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Even also, like, she as a person kind of seems
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: to capture the essence of the personality disorder of the internet.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: Like, if the internet.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: had a personality disorder.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: It would be the same thing that whatever Nancy Mace
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: is walking around with, I think.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's real main character energy.
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, even this conversation has the meta energy of like, well,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: we're laughing about it, but.
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: This feels uncomfortable.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: We really think about it.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: She's going through it.
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: Okay, next up. I don't know about y'all's rankings.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: We have five and one.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: We only have five and one.
• 9:24
  Speaker 6: Is that right?
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: Five and one.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: So it's two Nancy Mace, three Donald J. Trump, and
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: four Zoran Mondani. Next up, Gavin Newsom. I don't like
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: y'all's list where you got to slot him at one
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: or five.
• 9:37
  Speaker 9: I just think, like, to John's point earlier, it's the
• 9:40
  Speaker 9: staff that's posting the fun stuff.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: Gavin's tweets are normal.
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: I think it's fair to say that Gavin is less
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: online than Zoran.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: Like, Gavin couldn't name a bunch of TikTok influencers.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: No.
• 9:53
  Speaker 10: Also, yeah, we're biased. We're talking a lot Twitter right now. And, like,
• 9:57
  Speaker 10: that's doing the videos all over the place.
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: That's an analytical error of our agedness.
• 10:02
  Speaker 10: Which makes me feel better about because we're old newsom
• 10:04
  Speaker 10: is five then yeah okay well have newsom is five
• 10:07
  Speaker 10: better be a good one.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: No i mean y'all know who's coming there's a clear
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: number one let's let's hear it jd.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: Van there we go I thought you were going to
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: screw us there. I thought you were going to just withhold.
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: Chuck Schumer.
• 10:23
  Speaker 9: America's number one poster. America's number one reply guy. Unless
• 10:28
  Speaker 9: it's an actual Nazi talking shit about his wife and kids.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: In which case, zip it. Not even close.
• 10:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Not even close. Dipshit. Are you calling Jon that? I
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: am a dipshit.
• 10:42
  Speaker 6: I think if you're the Vice President of the United
• 10:43
  Speaker 6: States and you call Jon Favreau a dipshit on a
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: social media platform, you're.
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: Automatically number one.
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's right.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's fair.
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: All right, so our list. Number one, J.D.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Vance.
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: Number two, Nancy Mace. Number three, Donald J.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: Trump.
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: Number four, Zoran Mamdani. Number five, Gavin Newsom.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I think we did great. I think we did great.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: Nailed that.
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: I think that's actually pretty close to right.
• 11:20
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  Speaker 1: for 20% off your first purchase.
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash Crooked. Code Crooked at checkout.
• 13:51
  Speaker 10: This episode is brought to you by MS Now. We
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  Speaker 10: the people in order to form a more perfect union.
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• 14:47
  Speaker 5: So we go through a couple honorable mentions.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: Sure, sure. All right, Graham Platner.
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: Thoughts about him already. It's like.
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: P-Hustle.
• 14:56
  Speaker 9: He's posted in the past, you know?
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, on Reddit.
• 15:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think if you were doing this in 2011
• 15:02
  Speaker 6: or whenever he was posting, he would win.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: For sure.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: Also, Reddit, look.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: The people that are posting over there on Reddit, we
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: need them. We need them because Google is broken. ChatGPT hallucinates.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Reddit is the place where you go and it's like,
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: is this right?
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: But it came up first and was expressed with confidence
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: by someone who says they're from there.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: That's Reddit. Agreed.
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: All right, next honorable mention. Based Mike Lee.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's a good one.
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: He's basically just like J.D. Vance's protege online.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Guy who is constantly getting fooled and posting even harder
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: because of it.
• 15:58
  Speaker 10: Yeah, I mean, if he was in the original rankings,
• 16:02
  Speaker 10: he would definitely be above Zoran and Gavin.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: I think he'd be above Trump.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I think so, too.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: He also, like, doesn't... He doesn't... It's not about frequency
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: or volume.
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: It is about, like... It's about.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: He posts with a kind of addled but incorrect energy
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: of someone who's, like, going to respond to a text
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: with his social security number. Yeah.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he did that thing where he was, like, posting
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: those horrible memes after those shootings and was like, what?
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: But then he got confronted by Amy Klobuchar and Tina Smith,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: and then he, like, deleted it.
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: Turtled.
• 16:42
  Speaker 11: Tough.
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: All right, next honorable mention. This is a real deep cut.
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: Valentina Gomez. Valentina Gomez.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: Oh, man. Is that, like, the Secretary of State candidate
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: somewhere or something?
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: Yes, who always posts, like.
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: With guns?
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: She goes with a lot of guns. Are you guys
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: aware of Valentina Gomez? This is why we needed multimedia here,
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: because we've got to put the pictures up. You know,
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: I'm working with... Going back to your other segment, what
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: would be better next year?
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Can I tell you something?
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: I don't know who that is.
• 17:11
  Speaker 11: Oh, boy.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: She ran for Secretary of State in Missouri and came
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: in 6 out of 6. Then she has moved to
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Texas to primary Dan Crenshaw, I believe. And she posts these, like, insane, like,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: acted out.
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: Snuff films she's the one who went to israel and
• 17:30
  Speaker 6: cheered the bombs dropping in gaza right yes she was
• 17:33
  Speaker 6: too bloodthirsty for them to air it.
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: Oh god yeah okay what a fun late so she's
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: there yeah.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: Way to lighten it up so she's a she's a
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: 2028 front runner.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Huh she is cool and last one i mean i
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: just feel like we should throw her out there aoc
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: oh yeah Again, maybe kind of lost her fastball, like,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: was the online darling, but.
• 17:57
  Speaker 10: I don't know if it's, like, lost her fastball or just, like,
• 18:00
  Speaker 10: was doing more productive things.
• 18:02
  Speaker 9: I think she was ahead of the game, too.
• 18:04
  Speaker 6: She did an Instagram Live to drop gossip about Marjorie
• 18:07
  Speaker 6: Taylor Spring.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she broke the news. Oh, yeah, that's very cool.
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: When she wants to break the internet, she can break
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: the internet.
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: For our outro, we have something special for you all.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: This is the CrookedCon Straw Poll.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: A straw poll at CrookedCon.com.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: The question was for the convention goers, who are you
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: excited to see run in 2028?
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: And I have the results. I'd love to read them
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: to you all right now.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: This is big news.
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: Huge news. There's a big asterisk before, as I'm reading this,
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: we'll get to at the end.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: Wait, you, I mean, it seems like you're shitting on
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: your own news.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Why don't you, you're going to tell us the asterisk after?
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: Yes. Okay.
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: Anderson Clayton. Attendee, Speaker, and AOC both got 7%. All right.
• 18:55
  Speaker 11: Anderson.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: Shout out to Anderson.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Wes Moore and Gavin Newsom both got 15%.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: Right on.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Andy Beshear clocked in at a solid 22%. And the
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: winner with 31% of the vote was Pete Buttigieg.
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: Look at that.
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: You ready to guess what the caveat is?
• 19:15
  Speaker 9: He should have come to Crooked Con.
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: What is the asterisk?
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: There were 13 votes.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: How did that happen?
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: What?
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: What the fuck? I'm sorry. You showed up at this
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: conference and none of you voted?
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: So.
• 19:40
  Speaker 9: We forgot to ask, didn't we?
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: Well, we, you know.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: Back to the first question, what could go better next year?
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: We'll place the QR codes a little more strategically next year.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: But we want to increase that sample size. Producer Caroline
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Reston is.
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: Out in the audience. She has a mic. Incredible.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: We're going to do some real polling, live polling here
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: at CrookedCon to close things up.
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: Don, you're looking a little disapproving, a little apprehensive.
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: You know what, though? You were right to save the asterisk.
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: Love it. You nailed the asterisk. You were right. Thank you.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: This is the worst poll ever.
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: After this, I think you should sit down with Love
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: and explain what a punchline is. Let's get some data. Caroline,
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: are you out there?
• 20:28
  Speaker 8: Eliza, I am out here. All right.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Go ahead and raise your hand if you want to
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: share with Caroline who you want to see run in 2028.
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: Who are you excited about seeing run in 2028? So stressful.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 20:43
  Speaker 8: What's your name and who do you want to run
• 20:44
  Speaker 8: in 2028?
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: My name is Valerie McGinley, and I would like to
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: see Chris Murphy. There is Chris Murphy on the floor.
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: Many people will say my interview on this stage one
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: hour ago launched that candidacy.
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: There you go.
• 20:56
  Speaker 8: Okay.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 20:57
  Speaker 8: Who else? Name and who you want to run.
• 21:00
  Speaker 11: My name is Zoe. I would love for Andy Beshear
• 21:02
  Speaker 11: to run because he is a Democratic governor in a
• 21:07
  Speaker 11: red state, and I think he has a lot of
• 21:09
  Speaker 11: unifying messages and just a really good outlook on what
• 21:12
  Speaker 11: problems need.
• 21:13
  Speaker 9: To be addressed.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: Is your last name Beshear?
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: A lot of Beshear heads here.
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: I have the raw vote totals.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Andy Beshear has officially polled even with the booty judge.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: Who's next?
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: Stop the vote.
• 21:29
  Speaker 8: All right, tell me your name and who you want
• 21:31
  Speaker 8: to see run. I'll pass the mic.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: Oh, that's dangerous.
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: That's crazy.
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: My name is Bert.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: I would like to see AOC and Jon Ossoff on
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: a joint ticket.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Either way.
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: That's cool. Cool, cool.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: AOC doubles her vote total.
• 21:49
  Speaker 8: All right, name and who?
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Hi, I'm Shay. I would like Gretchen Whitmer to run.
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: There we go. Gretchen Whitmer enters the field. Yeah.
• 21:59
  Speaker 8: Because I want us to do that song, Big Gretch, like.
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: All the time.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: Good as reason as any. That's a great pitch.
• 22:05
  Speaker 8: All right, I'm going to go a little bit in
• 22:07
  Speaker 8: the back. Maybe someone will say Bethany Frankel. Okay, name
• 22:12
  Speaker 8: in person.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Sean, and I knocked doors for Pete in 2020, but
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: I want AOC to run this time.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, wow.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: AOC. Just a shivving beat on the way to the AOC. Yeah, okay.
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: One more AOC.
• 22:26
  Speaker 8: All right, we have probably time for one more.
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 22:29
  Speaker 8: Name and who you want to run for.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: My name is David.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: I hope Cory Booker runs again. Booker.
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: Cory Booker. There we go.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: On the board.
• 22:39
  Speaker 8: Okay, one more, one more, one more.
• 22:41
  Speaker 11: One more.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: One more.
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: I'm Lindsey Moran, and I want J.D. Pritzker to run.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: Pritzker.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: I like big guys.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I will say this again. All I want is to
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: go for an insane meal with J.D. Pritzker, and at
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: the end of it, for him to be like, you
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: did eat a lot. When Tommy and I interviewed him.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: We're going to Vegas.
• 22:59
  Speaker 6: When Tommy and I interviewed him at the convention, he
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: told us... I think this was on the podcast.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was.
• 23:03
  Speaker 11: Okay, good.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: That.
• 23:04
  Speaker 6: I mean, I don't think he would care if we
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: show this, but that he had just finished a steakhouse crawl.
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: That was... You just.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: You just don't understand how much that means to me.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Was the crawl part literal?
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah, no, they went from steakhouse to steakhouse.
• 23:17
  Speaker 9: Like, no, no, like a bar crawl, but, like, just
• 23:20
  Speaker 9: eating meats at every location.
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: In Chicago, a place not exactly known for a small portion.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: No.
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: That's awesome.
• 23:25
  Speaker 9: Yeah, so we need some hedonism on our side. And
• 23:27
  Speaker 9: I think they did, I think they might have paired
• 23:29
  Speaker 9: it with bourbon.
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's true. They did.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: Even better.
• 23:32
  Speaker 9: Also, didn't he win, like, a $ 1.
• 23:32
  Speaker 7: 4 million?
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: That's what I.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: Was going to say.
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: Oh, Elijah and I.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: We just.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: We got to go gambling with J.B.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: Pritzker.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I want to hit the fucking tables.
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: And you know what?
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: I love a winner.
• 23:45
  Speaker 9: He donated it to charity, too.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: What a fucking pussy.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: Under duress.
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: The best part is, keep the money.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: You won it.
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: According to the IRS, he's only won and never lost.
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: So it's cool.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: You can see in his face, he was so annoyed
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: about giving it to charity.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: He was so stoked about winning.
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: He was like, yeah. Yeah, I did.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: So annoyed. That's couch cushion money to him.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: But still, winning feels great.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: But if you lose, you give the money to the casino,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: but you win, you give it to charity. It's like,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know it's like good, but.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: But where's the thrill?
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: No.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: Where's the thrill?
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: All right, should we call it? Should we just say,
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: how about this?
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: Only Pete.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: voters and only Andy Beshear voters stick your hands up
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: and then the next one wins the Crooked Con straw poll.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: We see there's a hand over there.
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: That's the tie.
• 24:34
  Speaker 9: I feel like you have to call it a little
• 24:37
  Speaker 9: more clearly there.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: What the fuck kind of thing is this?
• 24:39
  Speaker 9: That's the most confusing explanation I've ever heard.
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: I'm throwing things out. I see we're at the zero.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Elijah runs polling for Trafalgar.
• 24:50
  Speaker 7: Is your number one candidate in 2028 Pete Buttigieg? Is
• 24:57
  Speaker 7: your number one candidate Bashir?
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: Is it JB Pritzker after you learned about the Steakhouse Crawl?
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: Oh, there we go.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: He should fucking thank us. Is it AOC?
• 25:11
  Speaker 9: Is it Anderson Clayton?
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: Chris Murphy? Who are we missing?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Gavin?
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Is it Gavin Newsom?
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: .
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: We got our winner.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: The winner of the Crooked Con 2020-25 Straw Bowl is
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Dan Pfeiffer.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: Yes, we did. Yes, we did. Yes, we did.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Yes, we did.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: That'll wrap up Terminally Online live at CrookedCon.
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: Thank you all for coming to Terminally Online. Thank you
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: for coming to CrookedCon.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: Thanks for listening.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: You can sign up for Friends of the Pod now
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: at crooked.com slash friends to get 25% off an annual
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: subscription during our Black Friday sale.
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: Do it.
• 26:09
  Speaker 11: Please. Now.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: You've waited long enough.
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: And we'll see you all on Tuesday.
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: Thank you.